elisa

This month I finished 5 ebooks and 2 books from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 7 books. For me, this is not a lot. However, there were (a whopping) 5 additional books that I didn't end up finishing. I wasn't planning on sharing this for fear that it would reflect badly on me, but I have some of the best readers in the whole Printhouse. You guys deserve an honest and unflinching review, and you deserve to know that I, too, am imperfect. I don't always pick the best books, and I don't always have the motivation to finish them. So if that sounds like you, know that I am your fellow sister-in-arms. And if you (yes, YOU) want to become a reader, you are going to have to learn how to read imperfectly. After all, we only get one life on this earth. And while it's not too short to read a bad book every once in a while, it is too short to finish bad books out of a mistaken obligation to perfection. So without further ado, I humbly present:

Dishonorable Mentions

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune

Synopsis: Wallace Price is a high-powered lawyer at his firm, and he doesn't have time for any shenanigans. But that's too bad, because Wallace Price is dead. Wallace must come to terms with his own life and mortality, and figure out how to cross over to the other side.

My thoughts: Unfortunately I just couldn't get into this book. I would say that it's still in the style of TJ Klune, but it just wasn't as captivating as The House in the Cerulean Sea (a record two-time Printhouse-award winner). I even got an audiobook copy to accompany the print copy, but I just wasn't that interested, and I had to return it. If I get the chance to read it again while in a more introspective headspace, I might be able to finish the whole thing, and I will probably even enjoy myself.

You may like this book if: you're craving gentle discussions about life, death, and mortality.

The Marlow Murder Club by Robert Thorogood

Synopsis: Judith's neighbour Stefan was recently shot dead, and she heard it while skinny dipping in the river. But the local police think it was an accident, or even a suicide! The 77-year-old crossword puzzle writer is determined to prove them wrong and solve Stefan's murder.

My thoughts: The Thursday Murder Club had ruined me for other books about old people solving murders. I thought that this would be more of the same but the writing was making me cringe so bad I could barely tolerate it, so I decided to quit, even if it meant exposing myself in this roundup. The writing style wasn't even particularly bad, but it just felt amature-ish, and it wasn't even dry or witty, so what was even the point in continuing. (Opening with an extended scene of the protagonist parading around nude except for a cape definitely didn't help endear it to me).

You may like this book if: You like the concept of old people solving murders but don't care much about the execution.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

Synopsis: This book chronicles the history of different humanoid species on Earth, ranging from Neadrethal to Homo Sapiens.

My thoughts: My neighbor thinks that this is one of the best books ever written, so I figured I should try it so that I can talk to him about it. Alas, I got sidetracked with other stuff, so I only made it one chapter in. If I had the time to focus on it, I would probably finish it (even though it’s non-fiction, so of course it’s a bit dry).

You may like this book if: You are my neighbor.

August: Osage County by Tracy Letts

Synopsis: This is a play that won the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It’s about the family of Beverly (patriarch) and Violet (matriarch) Weston, who live in Oklahoma.

My thoughts: I wanted to branch out and read a play, but I literally cringed when I opened the first two pages. It was immediately so dense and dour that I closed it and immediately checked out a more enjoyable ebook instead. (Readers will know that in the first week of August I was in Vacation Mode ™ at one Mackerel Cove, and there was no way I was going to suffer through some pretentious slog instead of just enjoying myself).

You may like this book if: you enjoy the nuances of tortured families or whatever

The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid

Synopsis: Evike is an outcast in her pagan village deep in the forests; she’s the only one without any magic powers, and the other girls hate her. So when the Holy Order of Woodsmen come to claim a blood sacrifice, Evike’s fellow villagers betray her, and surrender her as the sacrifice. In order to survive, Evike must team up with the local captain of the holy order.

My thoughts: Sometimes if there are too many made-up words or names in a fantasy book I immediately lose interest. Yes, there needs to be world building in order to understand what was going on, but the barrier to entry here was a bit too high. (Is this my best trait? No. So I’ll try to work a bit harder on it, but if this list of DNFs tells you anything, life is too short to read a book that you don’t want to).

You may like this book if: you actually like fantasy and aren’t just a fake fan like me.

And now...

The Real Reviews

The Thursday Murder Club Series

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman

Synopsis: After successfully solving two recent murders, things have been quiet for the Thursday Murder Club. That is, until Elizabeth receives a letter from a dead man (who’s murder she covered up as part of her work with MI6). Obviously, he didn’t send any letters, although the truth is much less intriguing. It turns out that Elizabeth’s ex-husband Douglas (also an MI6 agent) has moved into Coopers Chase for a period of forced retirement. While on a recent mission, Douglas “accidentally” stole a bag of diamonds worth £20 million from Martin Lomax, who runs an informal bank for global criminal activity. The diamonds in question actually belonged to the Italian American mafia, and if they aren’t returned, they will kill Martin. This has given Martin tremendous reason to kill Douglas, who is now appealing to the Thursday Murder Club for help. Unfortunately, Douglas is killed soon after, and the diamonds remain missing. Elsewhere in Kent, Chris and Donna (both full time police officers but part time TMC members) are trying to capture notorious local drug dealer Connie Johnson, who is no criminal mastermind, but has thwarted and threatened them at every turn. But most horrifyingly, Ibrahim has been critically injured. While out for a walk, he was brutally attacked by a gang of bored local youths. The Thursday Murder Club has their work cut out for them: avenge Ibrahim’s attack, solve Douglas’s murder, locate the diamonds, and prevent an international mafia-fueled incident.

Rating: 5/5 letters with smugly encoded messages that are not helpful for revealing the location of the diamonds

The Bullet that Missed by Richard Osman

Synopsis: After more of their recent adventures, the Thursday Murder Club has decided to go back to what they were originally founded to do: investigate cold cases. This time, they’ve started looking into the suspicious death of Bethany Waites 10 years ago. Bethany was a journalist who was investigating a money laundering scheme, and had just made a big discovery when police discovered her car pushed off a cliff and her body swept out to sea. Okay, maybe Joyce chose this case specifically because there was a chance she could meet Mike Waghorn, a handsome newscaster that worked with Bethany. But it’s still an interesting case, and Connie Johnson has even agreed to make contact with Heather Garbutt, who is in the same prison as her (according to Ibrahim, it’s NOT because Connie wants to help out any friends of Ron or Bogdan (who betrayed her in the last book), but mostly because despite all of her smuggling and bribing operations, prison is still boring). But after Heather is killed in prison, this cold case suddenly warms right up.

Rating: 5/5 facetime calls with your murder solving consultant (your best friend’s grandson Kendrick)

My overall thoughts: I read the first book in the series last month, and these sequels were everything I could have wished for. There was absolutely no dip in quality, which is definitely a risk for a lot of series. Osman’s trademark wry writing style, which was my favourite thing, was exactly like I remembered it. The characters, which were my second favourite thing, were developed even further. Some of the character arcs I adored in no particular order: Ibrahim’s recovery (both physical and mental); Donna’s realization that she needs to stop living and start thriving; Ron doing the absolute most for Ibrahim (and the introduction of his grandson Kendrick); Bogdan as a full-fledged TMC ally and not just an underling, plus his friendship with Elizabeth’s current husband Stephen; and Chris’s journey of self improvement when he starts dating Donna’s mother Patrice. (I need to clarify that Patrice and Chris are the same age; and while Donna and Chris have a sort of buddy cop relationship, officially they are mentor and mentee). On a more somber note, Stephen’s journey through dementia is very powerful and heart-wrenching, especially in the third book. Honestly I could talk about this book series all day, I love it so much. The fourth book (The Last Devil to Die) will be released in September, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

Everyone in My Family has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

Synopsis: Everyone in Ernest Cunningham's family has killed someone. Some were accidents and some were incidents, but only one of them ever went to jail for it: Ernest's brother Michael. And only one Cunningham has ever testified against another: that was Ernest himself. After several years in prison, Michael is finally being released, and what better way to celebrate than with a Cunningham family reunion at an Australian Ski Resort. But when bodies start turning up, it’s clear that there are still some family secrets that are waiting to be resolved.

My thoughts: I liked how this book was structured: each section was named after one of the Cunninghams, and told the story of how they had killed someone, but the book very much took place in the present. There were very few alternate timelines; Ernest narrated his perspective/memory of each of the killings, and everything was tied in very well with the story. Ernest himself did a lot of 4th-wall-breaking (he promised to be a very reliable narrator, and he was! He actually listed out the specific pages (or in the ebook version, the specific chapters) when bodies are found, secrets are revealed, etc and I thought it was pretty charming. I also have enough impulse control to not immediately flip to those pages and spoil myself, so your mileage may vary).

Rating: 4/5 Black Tongues (is that a disease? a serial killer? it’s hard to tell).

Secret Lives by Mark de Castrique

Synopsis: Ethel Crestwater is something of an FBI legend. Daughter of a prominent agent, she eventually rose through the ranks and solved her own father's murder. Now retired, she rents rooms to local FBI and Secret Service agents. But when one of her boarders (Jonathan) was found shot dead on her front lawn, Ethep recruits Jesse (her double first cousin twice removed, and also a boarder) to help her solve Jonathan's murder, and uncover a scheme involving cryptocurrency, counterfeit money, and multiple departments of federal agents.

My thoughts: This was better than the Marlow Murder Club, but it honestly wasn't that good, and I really should have given up on it. The book talked a LOT about crypto, but all of the descriptions felt really vague, as if the author didn’t know all that much about it. Jonathan’s son Davy also had a chronic disease that I thought was really poorly portrayed. He had Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) which is a brittle bone disease, but Davy was described as if he had some sort of mental disorder as well? It was giving autism/savantism, neither of which are related to OI, but the author seemed to imply that the trauma of having a severe chronic illness had induced this in Davy? Like what the actual heck is going on. The main character Ethel was fine, but the overall writing style was not anything to write home about.

Rating: 2/5 RBG workout routines that might just be a cover for spying

Buffy: The Next Generation Series by Kendare Blake

Warning: this is an abridged version of my upcoming Vampire Theory Night presentation! If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip past the next two entries! If not, you have been warned!

Preamble: 16 years after the end of Buffy Season 7, the next generation of slayers (and scoobies) has been born. This apparently doesn’t take place in the same universe as the comic books (which are apparently the canon continuation of the show), so I guess it takes place in its own timeline. If you’re familiar with the Buffy-verse, there are some returning main characters (Willow, Oz, Spike, plus a bit of Xander and Dawn ((so you can kind of tell who the author’s favorite characters are)), plus a bunch of minor characters that were briefly mentioned in the show have been expanded on. I do like the new OCs that have been introduced, and maybe I’m just not enough of a Buffy-phile but I don’t feel like I’m lacking content for any of the OG Scoobies, which is a good balance to draw.

In Every Generation (Book #1) by Kendare Blake

Synopsis: In every generation, a slayer is born. After a magical bomb goes off at this year’s annual Slayerfest, Buffy Summers and the rest of the active slayers are missing and presumed dead. So, it’s time for a new slayer: enter, Frankie Rosenberg. Stanch eco-warrior and daughter of Willow (Frankie’s other parent is the spirit of the first ever slayer, Sineya, and was conceived when WIllow channeled Sineya’s spirit while performing a spell in season 7 that awakened all of the potential slayers), Frankie is the first ever hybrid witch slayer. Her best friend is Jake Osbourne, werewolf and nephew of Oz. Rounding out the Scooby gang is Hailey Larsson, the younger sister of Vi Larsson, a potential that went missing during the Slayerfest Massacre. Spike is now Frankie’s watcher, and in a nice nod to the original series, has taken up Giles’ post as the school librarian at New Sunnydale High. Will the old and new Scoobies be up to the task of protecting New Sunnydale?

Rating: 3/5 fairy tales that you read to your best friend when he was stuck in his werewolf cage during the full moon (but swapped so that the wolf always wins).

One Girl In All the World (Book #2) by Kendare Blake

Synopsis: The Sunnydale Hellmouth is a lot busier than usual. It seems like the Scoobies are constantly fighting monsters (which, yes, that is the whole deal for a slayer, but it's really busy). And after Vi’s shocking reappearance at the end of the last book, it’s clear that whatever happened at the Slayerfest Massacre was a lot more than meets the eye. If Vi survived, then it’s possible that Buffy did too. The Scoobies redouble their efforts on trying to locate the missing slayers, and wrestle with the fact that Vi knows a lot more than she's letting on.

Rating: ⅘ slayer-demon-slayer love triangles (allegedly something that never happens in the OG Buffy-verse

My overall thoughts: This book very much felt like it was the first half of a season of television. We got an introduction to all of the characters and the new world order, there was a monster of the week, and it built up to a mid-season finale. And it definitely did feel like a Buffy-style piece of media (especially when Frankie started dating a demon who claimed that he was really there to help her). However, it felt like the author got this opportunity to make some Buffy-style media and didn’t really know what to do with the opportunity, so it didn’t really go anywhere. I thought that the second book was a lot more developed. It focused more on the overarching plot of the “season” (what really happened at the Slayerfest Massacre), and it definitely benefited from having some of Vi’s POVs to explain what was going on and create some dramatic irony. I found the story more interesting, and liked how the wider cast of characters was getting developed.

Happy Place by Emily Henry

Synopsis: At first glance, Harriet, Cleo, and Sabrina are the most unlikely group of college roommates ever. Sabrina is a New York trust-fund girl. Cleo is a bohemian artist with a love for urban farming. And Harriet is just Harriet; she grew up in southern Indiana with parents who worked two jobs and didn’t really love each other, so she’s been grinding to become a doctor for as long as she can remember. Her residency in San Francisco is extremely difficult, and the one bright spot is the week-long trip planned for Knott’s Harbour, Maine. Sabrina’s dad owns a vacation house there, and ever since they graduated from college, the three former roommates vacation there every summer. Eventually, they started adding in their significant others: Sabrina’s boyfriend Parth, Cleo’s girlfriend Kimmy, and Harriet’s fiance Wyn. But Harriet has a secret: she and Wyn broke up 5 months ago, and they haven’t told anyone. So during this year’s trip (the last one ever, because Sabrina’s dad is selling the house), she and Wyn will have to pretend that they’re still together so that they don’t ruin everyone’s happy place. Will they be able to do it?

My thoughts: Readers will know that I rated Book Lovers by Emily Henry a 5/5, and consider it one of the best romance novels ever written. So I was a bit worried that Happy Place wouldn’t be able to live up to my expectations. Just as I feared, it wasn’t as good as Book Lovers, but it was honestly still good all the same. The part that I was most worried about was Wyn and Harriet’s relationship, because I refuse to be here for any toxic behaviour, but the nice thing about the book largely taking place post-breakup was that most of the “toxic” stuff already happened. Instead, it was more of a retrospective on how their relationship fell apart, and Harriet considering what she wanted her future to look like. I also normally hate the fake-dating trope (mostly because the situation that sets it up is always insanely unrealistic), but Harriet and Wyn had a compelling story and a lot of great chemistry. I also liked how the B-plot revolved around the friendship between Sabrina, Cleo, and Harriet. Finally, I really liked how the author framed different timelines as either being in the Happy Place or the Unhappy Place, especially because the feeling of Happiness was tied to people and experiences way more than it was ever tied to physical place. I know I’m not rating it a 5/5, but I would definitely recommend this book.

Rating: 4/5 secret pottery classes that your best friend planned for you, because she’s your best friend and she knows you that well

And finally...

The Bonus Bracelet of the Month

... will be available on the cafe.

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa