montgomery's miscellany

Frontmatter

This article is an incredibly long argument for why I find the NFL relatively boring and the CFL incredibly exciting, even though NFL players are objectively better athletes. The article mainly focuses on the rules differences and cultural context of the two games. If you are an American, just know that I love you and this article is not an attack on you, it's an attack on a version of football that I do not like.

The first two sections explain the historical context of football and the rules of football. If you already know the rules of both types of football, skip section 2. If you know the rules of one type of football but not the other, you should read section 2. If you don't know anything about football, I've provided a glossary section at the end of the article that explains in detail what the terms mean. If you don't find sports interesting but want to know why I love Canadian football for meta-game reasons, skip sections 2 and 3. If you like sports but hate football, you are an insufferable contrarian. Read the entire article in penance.

1. Historical primer

In 1861, 13 years before the first snap was played on American soil, two groups of students at UofT gathered in a common area on school grounds with the goal of playing a game inspired by accounts of the full-contact “Rugby football” game played at the Rugby Public School. At the time, “Rugby football” (not to be confused with the technically younger than Canadian football “Association football”, codified by the Laws of the Game two years later in 1863) was a game played at English boarding schools without a strict rules code and was yet to develop into the modern Rugby Union format, an entirely different sport that I also enjoy watching. Those Canadian students didn't know it yet, but their strange broken-telephone interpretation of a game for wealthy British children would serve as the foundation of the single most profitable professional sports league on planet Earth.

Over the next few years, as Americans shot each other over slavery , the first inter-collegiate football rivalry was established between Toronto's “Varsity Blues” and McGill's “Redmen.” In 1874, an exhibition game between McGill and Harvard using Canada's version of Rugby football was played to a riveting 0-0 finish after 3 quarters (you'd think McGill and Harvard students would know how to count to 4!) This was the first time that football as it currently exists was played in the United States, and was an instant success despite the appalling score.

From Harvard, McGill, and UofT, football spread across Canada and the United States. Initially a collegiate game, it did not take long for the first pro team, the Ottawa Football Club(still a member of the CFL), to be established in Canada's capital in September of 1876. In 1892, the first American pro team, the Alleghany Football Club (now defunct) was established. American and Canadians played the same game until 1906, when the Americans added an objectively positive innovation to increase scoring: the forward pass. To the NFL's credit, this is a great change. In 1912, the games permanently diverged after a series of further changes designed to increase scoring were added by the American side.

All of this is to say that football is a Canadian sport. The American game is in fact a bastardization of our perfect game of football! In this article I will argue that the rules of Canadian Football make for a more enjoyable viewing experience than the American rules, which seem perfectly tailored to bore both players and spectators alike.

2. The rules of the Canadian and American games

At their core, American and Canadian football are more similar to each other than either is to their closest taxonomic relatives, Rugby league and Rugby union. In both footballs, the objective is to out-score the other team. Scoring is done in the following ways:

• A touchdown for 6 points
  • After a touchdown, the scoring team sets up 25 yards from the uprights and attempts to score a field goal, giving an additional 1 point.
  • Alternatively after a touchdown, the scoring team may choose to set up on the 5 yard line and attempt to score a second touchdown for 2 points.
• A field goal for 3 points
• A safety for 1 or 2 points.

Football differs from Rugby primarily through the downs system. Teams are divided into attackers and defenders. Each play, the attacking team sets up on the current line of scrimmage, and attempts to advance the ball. The attackers must achieve a gain of at least 10 yards in 3 downs (Canada) or 4 downs (USA). If they succeed, the down count is reset to 1 and they remain on attack during the next play. If they fail, they hand the ball to the current defenders and the role of attacking team and defending team swaps.

During each play, the following options are available:

• The attacking team may throw the ball forward one time.
• They may throw the ball backward as many times as they wish.
• They may hand-off the ball to another player as many times as they like.
• They may surrender control of the ball by kicking it down the field. If they are not attempting to score a field goal, this play is called a punt.

When a touchdown is scored, the scoring team becomes the defenders (if they weren't already) and the scored-on team becomes the attackers (ditto).

The American and Canadian games share all of the above features, but differ in the following ways. Changes made by the Americans in 1912 are marked in bold:

• In the Canadian game, the attacker has 3 downs to gain 10 yards. In the American game, they have 4 downs to gain 10 yards.
• The Canadian field is 110 yards by 60 yards, for a total play surface of 7150 square yards. The American field is 100 yards by 53.333 yards, for a total play surface of 5333.333 square yards. Canadian endzones are also twice as long at 20 yards to America's 10. Diagrams of the fields side by side are given below:
• Canadian teams may have 12 players on the field at one time, American teams may have 11.
• Canadian teams may kick as many times as they want in a play from anywhere on the field, although only the first kick can score a field goal. American teams are allowed 1 kick per play and must kick from behind the line of scrimmage. The defenders may never kick the ball intentionally in American football, but defenders can (and do!) punt the ball back in Canadian football to avoid a Rouge.
• Canadian teams may score a single point by kicking the ball through or in to the other team's end-zone. See Rouge in the glossary.
• Canadian punt-returners – the players responsible for catching and fielding a punt – must be given a 5 yard halo until the ball lands. Violating this halo causes a foul (see flag). This is because either team can recover a punt in Canadian football! In American football, this requirement does not exist because a punting team may not recover the ball on the same play except via fumble recovery.
  • In order for the attackers to recover their own punt, a play referred to as the onside punt or trick punt, the ball must be kicked from behind the line of scrimmage and recovered by a player who was standing behind the kicker when the ball was kicked. This play is not allowed in American football. In the event an onside punt is successfully recovered, the down count is reset even if less than 10 yards have been gained.
• A defending team receiving a punt in Canadian football is entitled to one forward pass during the play. This was recently outlawed in American Football.
• American football players may avoid returning a punt or kickoff by waving for a fair catch or kneeling in their own endzone for a touchback. This is not allowed in Canadian football, as all kicks must be fielded.
• In Canadian football, the attacking team must return to the line of scrimmage and start the next play within 20 seconds of the previous play being blown dead. In American football, the attacking team has 45 seconds to start the next play.
• The clock is paused between plays in Canadian football in the last 3 minutes of each half, while in American football timer constantly runs regardless of current game clock.
• In American football, the waggle is banned, while in Canada it is allowed.

3. Why do I like the Canadian rules more?

The changes made to the American rules in 1912 were intended to make the game more offensively focused and therefore more interesting. There is a saying in football strategy: “Offense sells tickets. Defense wins championships.” The point of this proverb is that the fans love Quarterbacks and Wide Receivers much more than they like Defensive Backs and Linebackers. Offensive plays are cooler and more exciting than defensive plays. The goal of a football team is to sell tickets and the goal of a football fan is to have fun watching football, so increasing the game's average offensive output is an admirable goal. Unfortunately, the changes made by the American rules have had the opposite of the intended effect.

On average, a pro football game in Canada sees 50.3 points scored, 528.6 passing yards thrown, and 199.9 rushing yards for a total average of 728.5 yards of gross offense. In an NFL game, the average points scored is a measly 46.0, passing yards is held to a mere 437.0, but rushing yards are much higher at 243.2 for an average gross offense of 680.2. (Stats as of 2023)

But why? NFL defenders (who almost universally have never watched a CFL game) will tell you that the CFL is a punt fest! 3 downs is not enough to advance the football! WRONG. 3 downs is the perfect amount and 4 downs slows the game down significantly. Consider the following basic math: a CFL offense must gain an average of 5 yards per play (as they usually punt on 3rd down). An NFL offense must gain an average of 3.334 yards per play before punting. Combine that with the following statistics: the average number of yards gained by a rush play is 4 and the average number of yards gained by a successful pass is 8. Do you see where this leads? With 4 downs, NFL teams are able to run chunk play books with short yard gains every play and barely any passing, because they can expect to advance 12 yards in the 3 safe downs they have before the 4th down punt. Meanwhile, CFL teams are forced to throw electrifying long bombs on every possession!

The gasping desperate NFL fan when presented with these basic facts tries one last gambit: kicking is boring and the CFL has too much kicking! Sure, there are twice as many punts in a CFL game on average (18 vs 8), but first of all, it's called FOOTball so there should be lots of kicking and second of all kicking would not be boring if the 1912 rule changes hadn't made it boring. Canadian kicking is wild and entertaining. The onside punt – a banned play south of the border – makes any punt attempt potentially as exhilarating as an onside kick attempt. Onside kicks and punts in Canadian football are allowed to be trick plays while the onside kick – the only interesting kicking play allowed in the NFL – has been neutered with the latest rule changes made by the No Fun League. Furthermore, the much maligned Rouge leads to Rugby Union style back and forth kicks that are always a treat to see. To make matters worse, the NFL seems determined to make the American kicking game even more boring. Over the years, they have banned seemingly every fun outcome of kicking. Punt returners are no longer allowed to forward pass, punts must occur behind the line of scrimmage, only one kick is allowed per play, kicks don't even need to be returned (see touchback and fair catch), and so on and so on. At some point, why not just get rid of kicks entirely and rename the American game “Handball?”

The worst American innovation of all has been the 45 second play clock and lack of clock pause at the end of the half. This creates two perverse incentives. American players use the full 45 second down time, eating up clock and leading to less average “real” play time per game. The lack of pause between plays in the last 3 minutes of the half mean that if the team ahead in points gains possession of the ball with less than 2 minutes remaining, they are able to simply delay the game until the clock runs out. The NFL averages as little as 11 minutes of live-ball time over a full 60 minute game! Meanwhile in the CFL, once play is blown dead the players have a mere 20 seconds to rush back to the line and set up the next play. On top of that, in the last 3 minutes of each half, the clock is paused when the ball is blown dead, which has completely eliminated stalling from the Canadian game and allowed incredible comebacks on a regular basis. These two factors lead to more live-play in the CFL.

4. It just means more.

There are reasons beyond the objective as to why I love Canadian Football more than American Football. When put together that reason can be summed up with the word SOVL. Before you continue reading, please watch the following video: CFL | This Is Our League

Why do I love the CFL? Because I live in Canada. I like the Buffalo Bills, but I will never go to a Bills game without shelling out hundreds of American dollars. For $40 last August, I had field side tickets in a packed TD Place cheering on the Ottawa REDBLACKS (and yes, the team's name is officially all-caps). I watched Damon Webb return an 85 yard pick 6 and I saw our rival Argos get dumpstered live. The CFL teams represent my home in a way no NFL team ever can.

Advertising in NFL games is also unbearably atrocious. The average NFL game and American NCAA game has more than 3 hours of advertising! Meanwhile, the CFL offers a free ad-free streaming service called CFL+ available for all fans outside of the TSN coverage area (and easily accessibly be VPN which they don't bother blocking). The CFL wants you to watch football. The NFL wants you to watch Subway commercials.

The strongest argument for the NFL is the athleticism of the players. What honest football fan doesn't love Josh Allen's rushing attack, the Minneapolis Miracle, or Saquon Barkley's backwards hurdle? The NFL has these players because there is more money in the NFL than the CFL. There is more money in the NFL because most Canadians don't care about football while most Americans do – plus there's 10 times as many of them as there are of us. Even if every Torontonian was a double-blue diehard, we couldn't possibly afford a player like Tom Brady. The yet-to-be-born GOAT football player will never play in the CFL.

But that doesn't matter. The Americans who play in the CFL for our entertainment love football so much they're willing to move to another country, learn a different (but better!) set of rules, and potentially get life-altering brain damage for the chance to suit up in a pro game. The Canadians who play in the CFL instead of the NFL (and there are some who choose that, see Nathan Rourke) play here because this country is their home. The CFL has an incredibly passionate fan-base, but to the players the CFL is the league that gave them a chance at greatness, a chance to play for their home team, and a chance to play football as it was meant to be played.

Also fuck soccer.

Glossary

• Interception: if the defending team catches a pass thrown by the attacking Quarterback, the defending team gains possession and immediately becomes the attacking team.
• Fair catch: in order to avoid being tackled by an incoming player from the kicking team, a receiver may wave to signal that play should be blown dead as soon as the ball is caught or hits the ground. This rule only exists in American football. In Canadian football, the ball must always be fielded unless penalty occurs during the kickoff.
• Field goal: a method of scoring worth 3 points where the attacking team successfully kicks the ball through the other team's uprights.
• Flag: a yellow cloth carried by football referees on their belts. Detached and thrown when the referee spots foul play.^1
• Fumble: if a player carrying the ball loses possession of the ball for any reason (drops it or has it knocked out of his hands), either team may pick up the ball and take possession of it.
• Line of Scrimmage: the line of scrimmage is the most forward crossing line on the field reached by a ball carrier on the attacking side during this drive. When play is blown dead, it resumes from this line.
• Pick-6: A “pick-6” is the unofficial term for an interception by the defending team that is carried all the way back to the attacking team's endzone, scoring a touchdown for the defenders.
• Rouge: if the ball is kicked in to or through the other team's end zone by the kicking team without the receiving team advancing it out of their endzone, the kicking team receives one point. This may happen any time, and the receiving team is allowed to avoid it by punting the ball back to the original kicking team. This rules only exists in Canadian football, having been removed from the American game in 1912.
• Rushing: rushing attack refers to a method of gaining yards that does not involve forward passing. Teams specializing in rushing attack prioritize breaking through the other team's line in order to allow a player called a Running Back to carry the ball the required 10 yards.
• Safety: a safety is a rare way of scoring points in both games. If a player on a team is tackled in their own endzone while holding the ball, the defending team receives 2 points. Alternatively, if a two point conversion is attempted and an interception or fumble occurs, the defending team may pick up the ball and attempt to score a touchdown. If the defenders manage to do this, they score a “1 point safety.” There has never been a successful 1 point safety in the history of pro football, although it has occurred at the collegiate level.
• Touchdown: a method of scoring worth 6 points where either team carries the ball across the line separating the play field from the other team's endzone without going out of bounds.^2
• Touchback: if the ball is kicked into the other team's endzone, the receiving team may recover the ball and kneel out the play. This rule only exists in American football. If a CFL player tries to do this, they concede a Rouge.
• Uprights: the poles in the centre of the endzone of a football field.
• Waggle: the waggle refers to the charge towards the line of scrimmage made by wide receivers and running backs in Canadian football. The waggle allows attacking players to build up speed before play begins. The waggle is banned in American football.

Footnotes 1: French Canadians call this a mouchoir. Alouettes and REDBLACKS fans will often shout “Mouchoir!” when a flag is thrown in reference to this, whether they are French or English fans. 2: French Canadians often refer to touchdowns as majeurs. As a result, some English fans refer to touchdowns as major scores in reference to this.