I originally had a different idea for this article, but it turns out that the idea was a bit too ambitious for me to do in the given timeframe so I've pivoted to this :).

I have been writing, I promise! Just not for the article.

CAIN and Tom Bloom- what I've been doing every Saturday

Every Saturday, I run a TTRPG game called CAIN. It's extraordinarily fun and is written by the same guy who draws the art for LANCER. He's also the artist for the webcomic Kill 6 billion demons. The art is fantastic, it's so incredibly detailed and gorey in the best possible way. However, (and I say this in the kindest way possible) I think a lot of the tension that is built up in the webcomic is ruined by this... almost compulsive need to shove in “adult show comedy”. There's a lot of swearing to be funny, a lot of punchlines that land flat that echo “Marvel humor” in that way of “haha isn't that so weird to say at this serious moment?”. I wish I could recommend this webcomic because the idea and art is so interesting but I can't.

But CAIN is different. The entire rulebook takes itself seriously. And yes, it's edgy and takes itself seriously the entire way through, but that's what I think makes it cool! When I'm running a dark, edgy game, I'm not going to pull back and say “wow that was so cringe! Let me make a joke of how serious I'm taking this whole setting so I can claw back my credibility after being genuine!”. Sometimes, things can just be genuine!

CAIN is about exorcists working under a supernatural organization (named the eponymous CAIN) who work to kill SINS, manifestations of human trauma made monstrous. Exorcists have powers called Blasphemies. CAIN is a shadowy organization and has the entire world government in their pocket. It works off a 6 sided dice system, with theater of the mind combat.

If this sounds like the game for you, here's the link to the rulebook:

https://tombloom.itch.io/cain

There's a lot of interesting ideas and threads you can work off of, but enough established themes where it's easy for all the players to be on the same page.

And it's not supposed to be for long term campaigns.

The long term campaign

This is the story I've been working on for the past year. It's been tough coming up with a throughline that connects all the character's backstories, but I've managed it.

The Group

Good Intentions is an Ardence blasphemy (explosions and fire) exorcist who is now the handler for the group and is following the Virtue Justice. (Virtues are part of a supplemental pack – basically you get extra benefits for following specific rules, but get punished when you break them). Was part of a cult sacrifice before awakening his blasphemy and exploding the entire cult.

Silac is a Flux blasphemy exorcist (time control) who was captured by CAIN. British (this campaign takes place in the US). Killed her lover before being captured.

Shadow is a Whisper blasphemy exorcist (scary ghost follows you around) who was switched with the original soul of her body at ten years old. The original person was named Abigail, who now acts as the Whisper.

The story so far

The group has fought a bunch of SINs and have gotten closer as a group as a result. Carter, their handler, was murdered by Isaiah, a previous teammate of Carter and a high ranking official in the rival organization Iscariot (thanks Nick).

Carter became a SIN when she died, and is now held by Iscariot.

They're REALLY attached to their handler, so they're working with Iscariot to betray CAIN and bring back information for the organization. They're also betraying CAIN because they discovered that CAIN is prolonging the war on SINs rather than trying to end it.

The group has already met Isaiah, who was affected by the memory wipe in some way and wants to infiltrate CAIN by creating a massive SIN event on Christmas to distract all the exorcists away from the facility. The group managed to convince Isaiah to allow them to infiltrate the facility and not create a massive SIN event, since they were already part of CAIN and it would be easy for them to complete the heist.

(The whole “memory wipe / a missing puzzle which is framed by what I do know” is heavily inspired by There is no antimemetic division. I thought it was pretty interesting and had cool ideas.)

NPC story

The group is also trying to find a way to restore their old Handler, Carter, back to being human after becoming a SIN. Carter was murdered by Isiah, who's a high ranking rogue binder in a different organization called Iscariot whose goal is to destroy CAIN. Isaiah, Carter, and Morgiana were all exorcists who were on a team in CAIN before Morgiana was killed. Carter continued in CAIN and became a handler for Good, Silac, and Shadow, while Isaiah took Morgiana, who became a hound SIN, away from CAIN and joined Iscariot. I haven't decided whether the 3 of them were in a toxic relationship or not...

The group also had met Carter as a SIN as part of their deal with Isaiah to cooperate with Iscariot. The last message she gave them was to forget about her. Morgiana was killed at the time of the memory wipe done by Hope due to a psychic backlash as a result of her high level bond with TEMPERANCE.

Before Carter had died, her final message to them was: Leave or find out Project Temerity Stigmata Room 11668 Hide from Faith Dig into Morgiana Take Care

This was a scrambled message, they figured it out :). They were also able to connect with Carter as a SIN where they were able to talk to her normally, and she asked them to forget about her and run away.

The situation

They're breaking into their old facility that's located in Oregon. Hope is a Virtue that does mass memory wipes from a space station, and is away only on Christmas Eve.

The memory that was wiped is that Temperance (the missing Virtue) and Truth (something stronger, more priomordial than a Virtue that is behind the increase of SIN events) are both in an eternal, secret battle. It was wiped out ten years ago by a previous generation of Hope, due to ?someone? discovering something they weren't supposed to (I'll figure this out later). TRUTH is a priomordial thing where grace is stored and emanated from, allowing for the creation of exorcists and SINs. The way that CAIN has bound it is that: 1) TRUTH must remain bound, or it will be released upon the world 2) If everyone forgets that TRUTH exists, the binding fails because it's based off maintaining a knowledge equilibrium (still workshopping this one) 3) But if everyone knows TRUTH exists, TRUTH becomes powerful enough to break free

The group has already gotten to the research laboratory level. The head reasearcher Marcus Webb has allowed them to drop off cargo, while two of their allies who are NPCs (Barry and Ruby) both have an access key that gives access to the upper levels and are waiting for them.

Next session

I have a session in TWO weeks so it gives me a lot of time to plan... problem is there's a lot of threads to piece together and make into something that might kill a player.

There's two levels left for them to go through: a level called the HOLD, which is a prison system for more dangerous SINs and other things that need to be kept under lock and key. The other level is the Archive, where the information is being held.

Conclusion

Uauauaua helpppp

Why this is an article: I thought I should make this an article for all the #artgirlies out there who also struggle to draw faces.

Why you should read: I've loved drawing human characters since I was 13. Drawing fanart for Homestuck (ew), Hetalia (super ew), Gravity Falls (acceptable), TAZ (acceptable), and eventually progressing to ttrpg stuff means that I've just been drawing random twinks for however the fuck long it's been. Here's a summary of what I've cobbled together:

How I think about drawing faces

Kim Jung Gi Drawing Faces in perspective

I used to do the circle – jawline – fill in thing but I've seen the light for doing Kim Jung Gi (awesome, awesome fucking artist) where he does forehead-eyebrows-nose ridge- eyes- nose- etc. (watch the youtube video for specifics). I believe the main thing is 3D space. The references I use below are 3D models. The head is a 3D object you're trying to capture in 2D (the same thing also applies to fingers (and everything else, but fingers is a big example), which look INCOMPREHENSIBLY BAD usually until you do some shading to 'pop them' into 3D). By doing Kim Jung Gi's method, you're 'forced' to think in 3D at the first step by thinking about how the forehead line should look.

No, but actually how do you think about drawing faces

I don't. And it's not in the like haha funny oo I don't think but it's more like. I have a reference, or what I know it should look like (vaguely), and focus on things like the ratios of distances between eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, etc.

References for practice and actually drawing

When drawing something I've fully committed to or doing studies, I always gather a bunch of references. Especially for faces, because faces are REALLY goddamn difficult.

Here are the ones that I find very very useful:

Reference Angle

You can modify the 3d head to look through their database of faces. Extremely useful if you're trying to find a certain face angle + expression combo. usage: Solely for irl face angles and diverse faces. The expressions aren't that prominent, and the search function for some angles isn't 100% accurate. However, there's a good variety of races if you need to practice that.

3D head model with lighting

This is a 3d model with 1) Movable primary and secondary lighting 2) Very, very extensible for any angle you can think of. 3) Flat planes so the face parts are simplified, making face stuff easier to draw. usage: When I can't find the face angle I need on Reference Angle I go here. If I'm drawing something that focuses on lighting I also go here because the movable lights are REALLY convenient.

My Art Reference Tumblr :)

This is more of a general art thing, but I have a huge trove of references I use when making up character stuff. These are all tailored to my taste, but I think you, the reader, can find some interesting Tumblrs to find images from the blogs the posts are from.

Closing Words

I have a huge /visual library/ (visual library is a library of things that you've drawn before and know how they should look like) because I'm a NEET. Think while you draw and don't burn out. I have complete faith that you can do it!!! Also read this if you're a creative: https://bato.to/chapter/1729292

Brief summary if you're interested in reading:

Apollo Kagwa is just beginning to settle into his new life as a committed and involved father, unlike his own father who abandoned him, when his wife Emma begins acting strange. Disconnected and uninterested in their new baby boy, Emma at first seems to be exhibiting signs of post-partum depression, but it becomes clear that her troubles go beyond that. Before Apollo can do anything to help, Emma commits a horrific act—beyond any parent's comprehension—and vanishes, seemingly into thin air. Thus begins Apollo's journey through an enchanted world to find his wife.

Score: ⚫⚫⚫⚪⚪

Not what I expected but interesting enough (barely) to read through just out of curiosity for what happens next.

Summary if you're not interested in reading below:

I love thrillers and fantasy. But I did not sign up for 448 pages of parenting horror. I went through the entire book wondering when the fairies showed up AND THERE WERE NO FAIRIES.

Themes:

The theme was don't share your child's pictures on the internet or child predators (fantasy edition) will get them. This isn’t a joke. The bad guy starts kidnapping children so he can livestream them interacting and then getting eaten by a troll (there’s a line about SUBSCRIBER TIERS in the book).

The actual themes are that parenthood is difficult but a gift, love for your family conquers all, and generational trauma can be broken. And don’t share your child's pictures on the internet or child predators will get them. But the ending technology stuff is incredibly overwhelming compared to the emotional resolution for both Emma and Apollo.

A lot of technology shows up throughout the book halfway through – Patrice being a tech guru, William being a programmer, BOTH OF THEM WRITING SHITTY APPS?? Patrice wrote Daylight, an app that DRAINS IPAD BATTERY IN 4 MINUTES because SCREEN BRIGHTNESS. The other guy wrote an app that’s ‘airbnb for boats’ (how it’s actually described by him in the book). There’s a paragraph about Patrice’s big powerful machine with an Intel i7 blah blah blah- and there’s a ‘tell it to me in English’ scene too. I hate it here. The abrupt switch from ‘living normal life’ to ‘TECHNOLOGY IS HERE NOW’ wasn’t eased by any mention of tech advancements to clue the reader in.

Another issue I had was all the women either live off the grid or aren’t involved at all with technology. Why wasn’t Emma concerned at all with Apollo posting every detail of their son on Facebook? Why wasn’t there also at least an argument between the two about blaming him for posting so much when those stalking photos showed up? Pacing:

The first third of the book is about the life of Apollo, his grandfather’s and grandmother’s life, then his and his wife’s. It was kind of dull because it really, really wants to drill into you Apollo's daddy issues and his father's issues. The next 2 thirds meander through the big issue of Apollo struggling being a new parent and dealing with his wife's postpartum depression, except this time she's right to kill the child. There's a lot of ‘this was established, but that was wrong actually’ to switch up the story, but it's all people telling Apollo rather than him figuring out anything on his own. The same is true for the plot itself, with people sending him messages to tell him where to go.

And there's barely any magic. On the magic island he gets beat up with clubs.

In the last fourth of the book we really get into confrontation. The villain's father gives a monologue on why they do evil things in a noble attempt to give his son time to escape, and his son ignores his father's dead body to go back to the computer and spy on people through their laptops. He also calls the father of the family he's spying on a ‘beta cuck’.

Writing Style:

The descriptions and overall writing style is fine.

It’s annoying how the book keeps pulling out of the action of the scenes by referring to ‘us’. ‘Our solar system’, ‘your imagination’, small things like that peppered throughout the book that feel incredibly out of place while we’re still in the mind of the characters. It really does feel like the author is ‘telling’ you a story, in the way that a grandfather might tell a story to his fidgety young grandson by referring to him directly so he’d be more invested.

It happened again. I'm going to lose it. (Author’s note: I got used to this later, but it doesn't change my opinion that it sucks as a part of the writing ‘style’.)

The repetition of the main character’s reassurance to himself: “I am the god Apollo” is a really nice touch. It's repeated throughout the story at crucial moments, and anchors the character. This also has the very funny payoff (other than making you pay attention to his name) where you can clap at the end when you realise he kills the troll with sunlight. (Author’s note: Apollo is god of the sun)

Final Thoughts:

It's a solid book but not the book for me. I'm not a parent and I think technology is good actually and I already know that posting your child on the internet is stupid. I wish the characters were written better so more of them could feel alive rather than simple fixtures of Apollo's life. The brief moments with Cal from the magic island are so fun because she's allowed to be a person, not just a character in his orbit. Even though we read about Apollo's mom's life, we never see who she is afterwards outside of her being a hardworking immigrant mother to him. Emma's friends are completely written out of Apollo's life once Emma exits from his. Patrice suddenly becomes a tech guru halfway through the book because the story needs one to fight the super tech savvy guy (they reveal the bad guy as an internet troll too and it turns out the thing the children are being fed to is A MYTHICAL TROLL. WOW! Revolutionary for young boomers/old millenials who embody ‘old man yells at cloud’).

Really interesting themes of generational trauma and parenthood that get absolutely overwhelmed by ‘don’t spam post your child on the internet or the predators will kidnap them’ conclusion.