That which I am about to now tell you occurred 50 years ago in the summer of 1926. I hope that you will show grace to an old man and not think too little of me, even though I may appear in this story a coward and a murderer. I reveal this to you in writing now, as I have neither the stomach to speak it to your face nor did I have it in me to reveal it earlier. I hope that as I lay dying, writing this to you will lift this burden on my conscience and I may die sanctified and worthy of heaven.

It was a balmy July day in Toronto when my friend and business partner Thomas informed me that he had purchased a cottage in a secluded area along the shore of lake Muskoka. Like so many others, we had made a killing betting on the Toronto Stock Exchange that year and Thomas was determined to enjoy that wealth while he had it. The cottage, he told me, was an old residence that the previous owner had inherited and wanted nothing to do with. The cottage – he was told – had become too remote on account of the nearby beach being removed from the restored route of the passenger ship RMS Segwun, and the new owner had no good memories of the place anyhow.

Thomas invited me up on account of my new Ford. He planned for us to have the car shipped up to Gravenhurst on a freight train as we arrived simultaneously by passenger car. We'd then drive it from the town into the bush, where he assured me dirt trails had been cleared, at which point we'd arrive at the cottage and spend a week there in relaxation. I assented to the plan as I was eager to both drive my new car and to spend a week away from the city.

It turned out getting the Ford on the train was expensive, but we had money to spend, and we rode the way up in first class. The train ride was pleasant, as the Northern Railway always was in those days, and we dined, smoked, and played cards with refined gentlemen all the way up to the lake. Disembarking, we bid farewell to our fellow riders, made empty promises to look them up on such and such day and have tea at such and such restaurant in Toronto, collected our vehicle, loaded it up at the general store, and puttered into the Muskoka woods.

It took several bug-bitten hours to arrive at the cottage, the Model T getting stuck in the trail multiple times and needing to be pushed. Nonetheless, we made it before night, and the cottage finally came into view as the sun was setting. The view in that moment of the orange and pink sky over the blue water was beautiful, and the cottage itself was a handsome cabin made of logs mortared together with a white infill of some kind. A wooden staircase wound down the face of a short cliff to a dock below, at which was tied up a pair of sport canoes. Eager to rest after a day of travel, we unloaded our supplies, supped, and laid down to sleep.

The first day was pleasant. Rashers for breakfast at dawn, a quick dive into the lake, and some fishing. We decided to canoe before lunch and explore the sheltered bay the cottage was nestled in. As we pulled the oars, we drifted along the base of the short granite cliff Thomas' cottage sat upon which slowly melted into a beach with a neglected dock jutting from it, presumably the old passenger harbour. Past this beach, on a wooden chair on another dock, sat a greying old man in a faded sack coat and a straw hat. As we cruised past, he hailed us. We manoeuvred ourselves with some effort until we were stopped a few yards from his chair.

We exchanged pleasantries, he asked us if we were the new owners of the Hamilton house – which Thomas confirmed – and he welcomed us. It turned out the old man lived here and had lived here for many decades, wifeless, he regretted to inform us, but financially secure from years spent as the operator of a successful general store during Gravenhurst's early tourism boom. He offered us home-made bread and jam, which we happily accepted before rowing onward. We lunched beneath a wind-swept pine on a small rocky island at the mouth of the bay, laughing at a funny joke that would take too long to explain here and would probably be not half as funny if you were not there in the moment. Sated and rested, we rowed home for some tea or coffee.

Late in the day, we were suddenly resolved to hike. Packing our satchels with snacks and some sketch-pads and pencils, we began to explore the forest. If you have never left Toronto, it may come as a surprise how rocky the terrain of Muskoka is. The lush pine forest is interrupted frequently by squat hills of granite. Marvelling at the natural beauty, we sketched whatever caught our fancy and pressed deeper and deeper into the woods.

As the sun sat fat and heavy in the evening sky, we came across an interesting sight. A large boulder had been pushed – or possibly pulled – along the side of a stone hill. We surmised that this pushing – or possibly this pulling – had occurred in the distant past, as the gouge left behind had been overgrown and worn nearly back to flatness. Curiousity overcame us, and we became determined to shift the rock and reveal what lay behind it. We managed it in short order, with an ingenious system involving a rope looped around tree branches and a fallen sapling as a lever, and the boulder slipped away from the mouth of a smooth granite cave.

How deep the cave went, we would never know, as at the mouth of this cave lay a large burlap sack. The sack smelled woody, like cedar or pine, and I felt no danger lay in opening it and seeing what treasures lay inside. As I undid the knot and pulled the sack open, I was at first unsure what it was. It was a dark hairy mass, and as my eyes adjusted to the light of the cave, I finally recognized what I was looking at. A person – a woman by the looks of it – had been stuffed in this sack decades ago and been mummified in the intervening years. I recognized her as a woman from the long hair and the dried out and tattered dress she was wearing. Her skin was dry and pulled tight over her bones and her eyes were empty sockets. The cause of the poor woman's death was obvious: a hole had been gashed in her head and her jaw shattered.

I yelped and leapt backwards from the sack, an action which toppled it over and spilled the skinny corpse out onto the floor of the cave. Thomas ran into the cave to see what was the matter and was clearly as shocked as I. For the first time in many years, I felt an incredible urge to pray. I fell to my knees, and prayed for the dead woman. I did not know why, but I felt that I had to beg God and the woman to forgive me for disturbing her rest. With my swift and panicked prayer complete, I heard a woman's sob from deep in the cave. That proved too much for me and I fled from the cursed hill. Thomas and I ran as hard and as long as we ever had. Streaked with sweat, panting and red, we returned to the cottage as the last light of day disappeared.

We debated and conferred on what to do. We were certain we could retrace our path back to the corpse in daylight, but certainly not at night. We also could not drive back to town in the countryside darkness without getting lost or stuck. Finally, a plan began to form. At dawn, we would pack our things, drive to town and inform the police. Then, we would take the earliest train back to Toronto and forget the whole affair. Satisfied that we had arrived at the just course of action, we resolved to sleep but quickly found that we could not bring ourselves to lay down. The lamps were left lit in and around the cottage and I paced nervously, unable to remove the image of the dead woman from my mind. Thomas sat at the parlour table, playing and replaying endless games of solitaire.

It was at around one o'clock in the morning when a loud knock was made on the door of the cottage. Thomas and I jumped, staring at each other wide eyed, for who could be calling at this hour? I called out a demand of identification and the reply was only a louder set of knocks. Thomas crept over to the kitchen and palmed an iron pan as I walked slowly over to the door. I opened it and shrieked, as I was met with the shattered and eyeless visage of the dead woman we had seen six hours earlier. I fell promptly on my rear, and Thomas rushed the mummy, swinging the pan down at her shoulder. The creature caught it, twisted it from his grasp, and threw it to the side, stepping over me and into the cottage, closing the door behind her as she did so with a shocking politeness.

I rose to my feet and Thomas and I stood on either sides of the dead woman, blanched and wide-eyed. She stared at neither of us, her gaze was instead out of the rear window of the cottage, towards the cliff and the bay below. All three of us were silent for a moment, Thomas and I transfixed with fear. The mummy swayed and finally rasped out a command:

Follow.

As if pulled along by string, Thomas and I obeyed. We walked behind her, out of the cottage, and around the lip of the cliff towards the beach. All the while, my mind screamed at my body to run. Run anywhere. But I could not do it. It was as if the creature had taken control of my body and I was just a passenger in it. Finally, we arrived at the door of the cottage of the old man we had seen earlier that day. The creature knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the door creaked open and the old man – bleary eyed and holding a lamp – appeared. He said nothing before his eyes widened and the mummy tackled him to the floor of his cabin. Astride him, she closed her hands around his throat and began to suffocate him. The man begged and pleaded for our help, but Thomas and I did nothing. Eventually, with the desperate strength of a man avoiding death, he leveraged the woman off of him and tried to rise. I do not know why, but I was suddenly blindly angry. Thomas and I fell on the man, beating him with our fists. He may have been strong enough to overcome a corpse, but the concerted effort of two athletic young men proved too much. The corpse joined us, and in short order the old man was dead.

Panting and red, our knuckles raw and bloody, Thomas and I stood up and stared at the scene of the crime we had just committed. I was overwhelmed with horror and guilt. My self pity was interrupted by the creature, who stood up, her shattered jaw hanging slack and her eyeless pits staring into my soul. A voice rumbled from within her for the second time that night.

Thank you.

And the corpse collapsed beside the old man, sighing as whatever supernatural force had animated it left.

Thomas and I have never spoken of the events of that night in the decades since. We returned to Toronto first thing the next morning and Thomas sold the cottage, never visiting it again. I imagine even now that the bones of the old man and the murdered mummy still lie next to each other on the floor of that decaying cottage. I do not feel guilty about the murder we committed. Paradoxically, it is that guiltlessness about which I feel the most guilty.

Regards.

It's no secret that software sucks.

There's lots of amazing software, but the joyous experiences are a rarity compared to the onslaught of mediocre-to-actively-harmful shit we deal with because of bad software.

Jonathan Blow – Software is in decline

The apps we use every day have features we like taken away from us.

Our productivity software makes us its bitch while we wait for a loading spinner on a network request that's fetching the same data we loaded 3 seconds ago on a different page because the app couldn't be arsed to cache things. Naturally, the request takes 5+ seconds because fuck you.

We get a loading spinner if we are lucky.

Often, shit is just happening with zero indication about what is going on. It's not rare for me to press enter and then 60 seconds later I'm wishing I had the browser network tools open before I did so I could inspect what the fuck is happening because it's a 50/50 chance that the shitass server isn't responding, or a response was received and the fuckass website encountered a scripting error handling the response.

Games crashing while playing with friends and not being able to reconnect to the lobby despite the fact that reconnection logic is already implemented for ranked game modes.

Video games which have the option for secondary input mappings for some actions but not others. Not being able to bind mouse buttons to some actions.

Ready-up systems where you can't un-ready.

Hide-HUD modes where you are unable to perform some actions because apparently the functionality is tied to the visibility of the UI for some reason.

Driver issues where sharing your screen or high network traffic causes stutters.

I've adopted the habit of Ctrl+A,Ctrl+C to make a backup in my clipboard before submitting things because who knows if it's going to get blackhole'd instead of working properly.

GitHub hasn't had a green status month since this website started keeping track in 2022.

Davinci Resolve still doesn't support .mkv files in the year of the Lord, 2026.

Thankfully, AI is here to save us from ourselves.

A tireless slop companion paired with the indomitable human spirit can bring us closer to a state where shit just works.

Naturally, the path to doing so is by rewriting everything in Rust.

You want to build a voice transcription tool that runs on-device that you can share with your mom? Point the slop cannon at the problem and you get a single binary using native APIs for drawing to the screen and doing ML inference instead of sautéing your CPU cycles with Electron and PyTorch+CPU because even UV can't figure out how to consistently rehydrate a pyproject with CUDA support.

Python ML projects can be rewritten in Rust to sidestep entire categories of bullshit and I think that's beautiful.

Now, I find myself working on a terminal emulator/DAW/profiler/file explorer while the deadline for an anniversary gift for my parents looms.

In the next 10 days, I have the goal of preparing some scrapbook pages. As a subgoal of this project, I need to collect and curate photos that contain Mom&Dad to be used.

I have a backup of our family NAS which is in a propriety format which I was able to reverse engineer with AI. Now I have a ls, cd, copy REPL I can use to automate extracting small slices of the terrabytes of backed up content where if I was using the vendor's app I would be limited to extracting single files or entire directories with no in-between.

Part of the way I build software now involves using voice2text to dictate what I want to happen which is faster than typing things by hand, but sometimes comes at the cost of fidelity since I have more precision over the output text using a keyboard than I do my voice.

I want to rewrite my little python voice2text app to use the new shit I've made with Rust recently, but I got distracted building some bullshit when really I could just have the AI update my python app to add the sound cues I want while also adjusting the behaviour so it doesn't typewriter what I say into the wrong window.

Part of the skills for making software that I haven't properly grasped yet is the design phase. When it's possible to go from zero to working for any idea, project management 🤢 skills become important to ensure I'm prioritizing the right things that will help me meet my goals in time.

To collect the media of Mom&Dad that I want to use, I need to instruct the computer on how to filter from to ∩.

The NAS has photos and videos, and there's a bunch of existing libraries/architectures for doing person recognition, but it's also kind of a search and scheduling problem.

Because the backup is in a compressed format, any media previews or inference passes have to come after a mildly costly decompress step. If I'm writing the decompressed artifacts to disk so I can pass off work to other processes for the filtering, that is higher latency solution than if I were to keep things in-memory and either do the inference in the same process or use shared memory to reduce copying.

There's many heuristics that can help us determine if we should keep scanning sequentially versus jumping around while scanning for MomDad media. If we have identified a good candidate image from an event like a birthday party, then we can assign a DEI metric that prioritizes scanning other days so we get a variety of photos instead of spending time validating 1000 images from one day.

We have in our calendar important days like anniversaries that we can use to prioritize search as well.

Videos can also be analyzed, but they have a higher decompress time since the files are larger. If we own everything, we could decompress sparse chunks and find I-frames to run our image logic on.

If we consider the most involved scenario of me looking individually at each file on the NAS until I pick 100 to keep, then that is a top-K problem and a reranking problem. I have my own mental model of the file hierarchy on the NAS, and my ability to navigate things is currently limited by the vendor's crappy software and the current state of my REPL.

I could build a file browser interface that lets me preview the images and videos, where doing so has an asynchronous aspect that the preview can only be done after decompressing the selected file.

I could add a tagging mechanism that lets me attach metadata to the virtual paths to indicate which photos I consider candidates for including in the final result. Rather than an arbitrary key-value tag system, a fixed tag categorization like keep, reviewed, discard could be simpler.

Three windows. One for the file navigation ⸻ a primitive table view with a .. row for upwards navigation. One for the media preview of the selected item – mouse-based zoom+pan mechanisms One for the actions like mark-keep and mark-discard

We can design it as an event sourcing system. Instead of a mapping from file path -> set of tags[keep,viewed,discard] we can instead emit events like viewed-at, keep-clicked-at, discard-clicked-at, decompressed-to-at which would let us perform more detailed analysis like knowing what images we have looked at the most, knowing if we decompressed a file already, or finding controversial images where we have alternated between keeping and discarding.

The idea of event sourcing is something I haven't explored much but am increasingly eager to try. Hence, why I've been spending time building some kind of timeline-DAW instead of working more on file browsers.

It seems to me that time is one data type that unifies all data sources, so having robust mechanisms for interacting with time-aspected data is super important, but developing visual timeline editors will have to take a back seat while I do this other stuff I suppose.

We learn the general mannerisms of the user interfaces we are exposed to. The historical tools like the DOM for presenting information comes with implications that make things like multi-window applications a less trodden path.

So if I have a 3-window app where there's the file explorer, the preview image, and the action buttons, what if each button was its own window, letting the buttons be individually repositionable?

We can do snazzy things like draw one big window across all three monitors, controlling the hit-testing and transparency so that we have one OS window while we virtualize our own window management system.

Decomposing the problem into the core elements lets us imagine how it can be reshaped into completely new interfaces.

Given that agents are the new hotness, we could drop the file explorer window and instead have an agent be in control of which file is currently being previewed. Instead of buttons I click to present my feedback, I could hook the voice transcription up so that we have a feedback loop of the agent presenting a file to me, me making a comment on it, and the agent can manage the list of top-100 results.

One window for the preview, do we want a window to audit the voice transcription to see if there are any mistakes I should clarify? Do we want the agent to respond in text or use a text2speech program?

I have a GLaDOS speech synthesis module that is pretty low latency which could be fun. We could play back the synthesized voice at an accelerated rate to speed up the feedback loop.

There are so many building blocks and opportunities to do fun stuff, I am very excited by all of this.

Enunciating the problem and my proposed solutions is half the battle, then it's a matter of guiding the AI every couple minutes between me watching YouTube while it does the work.

Having full control of the OS with DirectX support means we can go crazy with the ideas using shaders and shit too which is cool.

Of the hard problems in computer science, my next step falls under “naming things”. I think it's time I started a new repo to build this out.

gh repo create TeamDman/Annicuration is probably a good way to start.

...Right after going to bed, waking up, wage slaving, and taking a nap/doomscrolling to reset a bit of the dread of it all. You know, the /ˈjuː.ʒ/.

This month I read 12 ebooks from the Toronto Public Library.

The numbers as they stand, as of March 31st 2026:

Total Reading Goal: 28/100 (+12)

Canada Reads Shortlist: 5/5 (+3) – It's Different This Time by Joss Richards – Foe by Ian Reid – Searching for Terry Punchout by Tyler Hellard

Canada Reads Longlist: 5/10 (+3) – Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid – Julie Chan is Dead by Liann Zhang – Everything is Fine Here by Iryn Tushabe

Nonfiction Goal: 2/12 (+1) – A City on Mars by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith

TPL Reading Challenge: 9/25 (+3) – Multiple Authors: A City on Mars – Small Town: Searching for Terry Punchout – Published in 2026: First Sign of Danger

Battle Ground by Jim Butcher

Synopsis:

Harry has faced terrible odds before. He has a long history of fighting enemies above his weight class. The Red Court of vampires. The fallen angels of the Order of the Blackened Denarius. The Outsiders.

But this time it’s different. A being more powerful and dangerous on an order of magnitude beyond what the world has seen in a millennium is coming. And she’s bringing an army. The Last Titan has declared war on the city of Chicago, and has come to subjugate humanity, obliterating any who stand in her way.

Harry’s mission is simple but impossible: Save the city by killing a Titan. And the attempt will change Harry’s life, Chicago, and the mortal world forever.

My thoughts:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but this might actually be the best Dresden Files book. 17 books in, we finally got a great one [a quick sidenote: I think it’s funny that as the books get more and more recent, Harry’s pop culture references also get more and more recent, which is weird since he hates technology and is super 80s core). On the surface, I shouldn’t have liked this book; it’s essentially all fighting scenes (which I don’t care for), and there’s a major character death (which I also hate). Bennet and I were listening to the audio book, and we had to stop and switch to regular books because the constant fight scenes in the audio were too hard to follow. But this entry felt more important than everything else. This wasn’t just some regular battle, this was a battle to save the mortals of Chicago, and humanity itself. Everyone was putting aside their differences and making sacrifices in order to band together to save the city. Harry also seems like he wants to do more. Hopefully that means he’ll pull a Baron Marcone and create an established organization or community, who he can protect. Like some of the more recent books, this book also felt like it was a part of something bigger than itself. Harry has now gained the Eye of Balor, a magical artefact powered by hate that can raze city blocks in the blink of an eye (pun intended). Queen Mab has made a curious remark about the possibility of [Harry] gaining immortality. By the end of next year, Listens-to-Wind has promised to explain what exactly are the implications of Harry being a starborn, and we’ve been introduced to at least two other characters that are starborns. Also in the next year, Harry will be wed to Lara Wraith, Queen of the White Court of Vampires, which will further strengthen the alliance between them and the Winter Court. We finally figured out why Thomas attempted to assassinate Etri in Peace Talks, and we’re peeling back a bit more of the puzzle about the Outsiders. In a way, the Dresden Files is starting to feel like a video game, where each book is a level with its own boss battle, and reveals a small piece of the overall picture.

[As a side note, Lara being Harry’s next romantic partner feels a bit strange, but he constantly sexualizes her [in large part because she derives her vampiric powers from sex instead of blood, etc], so maybe I’m being brainwashed. Because of the whole Thomas ordeal that mainly played out in Peace Talks, Harry and Lara have been teaming up a lot recently. Maybe this is okay? I’m also down for any combination that doesn’t have Harry dating Molly. I know she’s come of age and is now in her mid 20s, but he knew her well as a little kid, and that gives me the ick].

I want to dedicate this paragraph specifically to Karrin Murphy. Karrin, you deserved better than to die, and I cried a lot when you were killed. You were heroic to the very end. You deserved a lifetime of happiness with Harry and Maggie, and I’m mad that Jim Butcher never allowed you to have it. But I think it’s poetic that you died a warrior's death, that you sacrificed yourself, and that you’ll get to go to Valhalla with the Viking soldier Einherjaren that you spent so much time befriending and training with. You were my favourite character, and I will never forget you.

Rating: 5/5 stashes of weapons inside the Bean at the Art Institute of Chicago

It’s Different This Time by Joss Richard

Canada Reads 2026 Shortlist

Synopsis: Subject 74 Perry Street So begins the email that turns June Wood’s entire world on its head. Five years ago, she lived on Perry Street with her former best friend Adam Harper. But why is the management company reaching out to her about it now? Still smarting from the news of her hit TV show being canceled, June has nothing else to lose. She boards a plane from Los Angeles to New York City to find out more about the mysterious email and the promised opportunity it alludes to. It turns out that, thanks to an unbelievable legal loophole, if she and Adam can live together in the stunning West Village brownstone for a month, it’s theirs. Any true New Yorker knows you don’t pass up prime city real estate, and that fall in the city is magical—so what’s there to think about? And yet, though most things have changed in the time since they last spoke, one thing hasn’ June and Adam have unfinished business. They didn’t exactly end on good terms when they each went off to chase their dreams. Now, confronted with the consequences of their choices, they must navigate the minefield of their past the best way they know together. Every day they move closer to owning Perry Street reveals misunderstandings, long-term resentments, and long-buried feelings . . . which are suddenly feeling very, very not so buried. But they’ve already lost their friendship once before, devastating them both. Can they risk losing it again for something a little different this time?

My Thoughts: This is your goat, Canada Reads??? First of all, has almost nothing to do with Canada. The book is entirely set in the US, mainly New York but also Los Angeles. The two most overhyped cities in the US, btw, and it’s not even an interesting location. (Logically I understand that the specific reason it’s set in NYC is due to June’s career on Broadway, but there are other places you can live in and participate on Broadway, and there are other cities involved in the film and tv industry. June, the female main character, was born in Toronto, but leaves as soon as she can, never references Canada, living in Canada, being Canadian, Canadian culture, or anything at all. Not even an “I grew up watching hockey and going to Tim’s.” Literally nothing. This would be mildly annoying for a regular book, but I’m peeved that this was the romance novel selected for Canada Reads this year, considering the current political situation; I don’t understand why the selection committee is cozying up to the US for this. I find it incredibly disrespectful and of bad taste. Probably the worst part about this whole thing is that the book itself is SO MID. It’s not even that good. The romance scenes between June and Adam are not particularly great, and seem to be randomly sprinkled in. The eventual demise of their original relationship was due to a staggering miscommunication and general fumbling; not even due to an honest mistake, June literally got distracted by the possibility of giving her number to another guy, and this was supposedly enough to make her give up everything? Also, the names of the characters. Adam is fine; this is a real name for real people. In contrast, June feels saccharinely sweet, like it was specifically chosen to make sure that you knew this was going to be a grumpy x sunshine book. It makes me want to throw up. I also found it cloying how Les Mis/”On My Own” kept being referenced and sung over and over and over again. I get it. It’s her favourite song. Enough already.

Rating: 2/5 found families that you gave up because you couldn’t get over yourself

A City on Mars: Can We Settle Space, Should We Settle Space, and Have We Really Thought This Through, by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith

TPL Reading Challenge: Multiple Authors

Synopsis: Earth is not well. The promise of starting life anew somewhere far, far away—no climate change, no war, no social media—beckons, and settling the stars finally seems within our grasp. Or is it? Critically acclaimed, bestselling authors Kelly and Zach Weinersmith set out to write the essential guide to a glorious future of space settlements, but after years of research, they aren’t so sure it’s a good idea. Space technologies and space business are progressing fast, but we lack the knowledge needed to have space kids, build space farms, and create space nations in a way that doesn’t spark conflict back home. In a world hurtling toward human expansion into space, A City on Mars investigates whether the dream of new worlds won’t create nightmares, both for settlers and the people they leave behind. In the process, the Weinersmiths answer every question about space you’ve ever wondered about, and many you’ve never considered:

Can you make babies in space? Should corporations govern space settlements? What about space war? Are we headed for a housing crisis on the Moon’s Peaks of Eternal Light—and what happens if you’re left in the Craters of Eternal Darkness? Why do astronauts love taco sauce? Speaking of meals, what’s the legal status of space cannibalism?

My Thoughts: I thought that this was overall a pretty interesting and well researched book. I thought it was specifically interesting that the authors chose to dedicate a lot of time to the ideas of international law in space, which I will admit hadn’t ever really crossed my mind. So, I appreciated that this inclusion made the book feel a lot more well rounded and realistic, even though I found the biological and sociological issues more interesting. I had mixed feelings on the cartoons that were sprinkled throughout each chapter. Most of them were charming and a nice break from the text, however, I thought the Astrid vignettes at the end of each chapter missed the mark, and this was emphasized by the fact that the book tended to focus a lot more on the Moon, instead of Mars.

Rating: 3/5 surprising amounts of references to Canada

Julie Chan is Dead by Liann Zhang

Canada Reads 2026 Longlist

Synopsis: Julie Chan, a supermarket cashier with nothing to lose, finds herself thrust into the glamorous yet perilous world of her late twin sister, Chloe VanHuusen, a popular influencer. Separated at a young age, the identical twins were polar opposites and rarely spoke, except for one viral video that Chloe initiated (Finding My Long-Lost Twin And Buying Her A House #EMOTIONAL). When Julie discovers Chloe’s lifeless body under mysterious circumstances, she seizes the chance to live the life she’s always envied. Transforming into Chloe is easier than expected. Julie effortlessly adopts Chloe’s luxurious influencer life, complete with designer clothes, a meticulous skincare routine, and millions of adoring followers. However, Julie soon realizes that Chloe’s seemingly picture-perfect life was anything but. Haunted by Chloe’s untimely death and struggling to fit into the privileged influencer circle, Julie faces mounting challenges during a weeklong island retreat with Chloe’s exclusive group of influencer friends. As events spiral out of control, Julie uncovers the sinister forces that may have led to her sister’s demise and realizes she might be the next target.

My thoughts: Once you realize that this book is completely insane it becomes a lot more enjoyable. Something like this would typically have been a large stumbling block for me in the past; I normally hate books that go completely off the rails, or feel super unrealistic. So it was actually extremely helpful when Kaitlyn described this book as being “campy,” because it is campy, and it is insane. I wouldn’t describe it as a breath of fresh air, but when compared to other books written about influencers, I think the insanity gave it more depth and substance. I thought the twin sisters in this book created a really interesting juxtaposition. Julie the cashier, who grew up poor and neglected, vs Chloe the influencer, who was adopted by a wealthy white couple. Typically, the author would typecast Julie as being hardworking, but struggling due to circumstances, while Chole would be selfish, greedy, and spoiled by her influencer wealth. However, it seemed like the roles were reversed. To me, Julie seemed greedy and unethical; as we found out more and more about Chloe, it seemed like she was just trapped and unhappy. Specifically, I think getting a glimpse of Julie’s ascent into fame/descent into madness made the book much more compelling than a regular (bland) protagonist whose main emotion is just confusion, trying to decipher the absolute madness going on. Julie definitely commits to the bit.

Rating: 4/5 baby mice… save them…

Foe by Iain Reid

Canada Reads Shortlist 2026

Synopsis:

Severe climate change has ravaged the country, leaving behind a charred wasteland. Junior and Henrietta live a comfortable if solitary life on one of the last remaining farms. Their private existence is disturbed the day a stranger comes to the door with alarming news.

Junior has been randomly selected to travel far away from the farm, but the most unusual part is that arrangements have already been made so that when he leaves, Henrietta won’t have a chance to miss him. She won’t be left alone—not even for a moment. Henrietta will have company. Familiar company.

Told in Reid’s sharp and evocative style, Foe examines the nature of domestic relationships, self-determination, and what it means to be (or not to be) a person. An eerily entrancing page-turner, it churns with unease and suspense from the first words to its shocking finale.

My thoughts: Everything I’ve seen describes this book as “HORROR” “THRILLER” “UNPUTDOWNABLE” “SUSPENSE” but I’m not sure that I agree, mainly because of the writing style. In the hands of a different writer, I think this would definitely been scary and suspenseful. However, Reid’s style came off to me as a lot more literary, and very emotionless; this made everything seem bland and only mildly unsettling. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Similarly, there was very little world-building, but I wouldn’t count it as a flaw. It created more of a fever-dream atmosphere, even though it was mostly dream, little fever. Even when the protagonist was agitated, the story still had a very slow vibe, as if it was moving through honey. Not everything needs to be heart-pounding and action-packed, but I still think that the story had potential to be more.

Rating: 3/5 beetles in the house, that you might want to squish, but conversely you might just want to observe their haunting beauty

Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy

Synopsis:

Dominic Salt and his three children are caretakers of Shearwater, a tiny weather-lashed island that is home to the world's largest seed bank. As Shearwater risks being lost to rising sea levels, the island's researchers have fled, and only the Salts remain.

Until, during the worst storm in living memory, a stranger washes ashore. The family nurse the woman, Rowan, back to strength, but it seems she isn't telling the whole truth about why she's there. And when Rowan stumbles upon sabotaged radios and a recently dug grave, she realises that she's not the only one on the island with a secret.

A novel of breathtaking twists, dizzying beauty and ferocious love, Wild Dark Shore is about the impossible choices we make to protect the people we love.

My Thoughts:

I’ve seen this book recommended in lots of places, but I was hesitant to pick it up because I wasn’t sure that I would like it. I feel like the Goodreads plot summary isn’t super fair; to me, the bulk of the book focuses on Rowan and the Salt Family, and how they’ve adapted to living on Shearwater Island. All of the characters are coping with a loss of some sort, and I would definitely characterize it more as literary than as a thriller. That’s not to say the book isn’t atmospheric and moody. The setting of Shearwater, an isolated island off the coast of Antarctica, is definitely a huge factor in making this a good book. There’s a large focus on all the amazing nature that’s available, especially the seals, whales, and albatrosses, but the research station and the seed vault also play a huge role in defining the setting. This book definitely focuses a lot on climate change; Rowan’s house was burned down by wildfires, and everyone on Shearwater is packing up because the island is slowly flooding as the sea levels rise. The ending was tragic but very moving, and it was a tense but fitting end to the story.

Rating: 4/5 broken hydrophones that you used to record whalesong with

Searching for Terry Punchout by Tyler Hellard

Canada Reads 2026 Shortlist TPL Reading Challenge: Small Town

Synopsis:

Adam Macallister's sportswriting career is about to end before it begins, but he's got one last shot—a Sports Illustrated profile about hockey's most notorious goon, the reclusive Terry Punchout—who also happens to be Adam's estranged father. Adam returns to Pennington, Nova Scotia, where Terry now lives in the local rink and drives the Zamboni. Going home means drinking with old friends, revisiting neglected relationships, and dealing with lingering feelings about his father and dead mother—and discovering that his friends and family are kinder and more complicated than he ever gave them credit for. Searching for Terry Punchout is a charming and funny tale of hockey, small-town Maritime life, and how, despite our best efforts, we just can't avoid turning into our parents.

My thoughts:

I think this is one of the better books selected for this year’s Canada Reads, but I came to that conclusion more through the process of elimination rather than a genuine affection for this book. I thought the book itself was a bit awkward and strange (but in a totally normal, small town way; not in a sci-fi or literary way), but the ending was rather sweet. Not to brag, but I feel like I have my life together at least a bit, so this book was really not for me. I also am pretty ambivalent towards hockey; I basically only watch Team Canada during Olympic Hockey, so I didn’t have any hockey nostalgia for this book.

Rating: 3/5 shitty poutines from the local rink’s concession stands

Heartwood by Amity Gage

Synopsis: In the heart of the Maine woods, an experienced Appalachian Trail hiker goes missing. She is forty-two-year-old Valerie Gillis, who has vanished 200 miles from her final destination. Alone in the wilderness, Valerie pours her thoughts into fractured, poetic letters to her mother as she battles the elements and struggles to keep hoping.

At the heart of the investigation is Beverly, the determined Maine State Game Warden tasked with finding Valerie, who leads the search on the ground. Meanwhile, Lena, a seventy-six-year-old birdwatcher in a Connecticut retirement community, becomes an unexpected armchair detective. Roving between these compelling narratives, a puzzle emerges, intensifying the frantic search, as Valerie’s disappearance may not be accidental.

My thoughts:

I initially picked this up because I thought it would be similar to God of the Woods by Liz Moore. Upon reflection, it’s not really all that similar. The main connection is really just a woman who has gone missing in the woods, and the investigation. God of the Woods was much more of a family saga, focusing on unravelling the mystery of what happened to Barbara and Bear. Heartwood is much more atmospheric, focusing a lot more on the beauty of the woods and the transformative nature of backcountry hiking. It also focuses a lot more on the search for Valerie, which comprises pretty much the entire book.

I wasn’t super satisfied with the pacing of Heartwood. I thought that Lena’s role would be overall at lot larger, but instead it felt like a single plot point that was being stretched out too much, and made me wonder why we were spending so much time with Lena in the first place. However, I was impressed with Lt. Beverly, and her determination to find the missing hiker. I wouldn’t characterize her as a detective, or this book as a police procedural; it was more about Lt. Beverly fighting a truly insurmountable challenge. I definitely had “Heart of the Woods” by Kacey Musgraves (a song, not a book) on repeat in my head the entire time reading, both because the titles are nearly identical, but also because the vibe of the song definitely matched the book.

Rating: 3/5 cozy clearings where you can lay down your head, and watch the rain drip into your water bottle

Everything is Fine Here by Iryn Tushabe

Canada Reads 2026 Longlist

Synopsis:

Eighteen-year-old Aine Kamara has been anticipating a reunion with her older sister, Mbabazi, for months. But when Mbabazi shows up with an unexpected guest, Aine must confront an old her beloved sister is gay in a country with tight anti-homosexuality laws.

Over a weekend at Aine’s all girls’ boarding school, sisterly bonds strengthen, and a new friendship emerges between Aine and her sister’s partner, Achen. Later, a sudden death in the family brings Achen to Mbabazi’s and Aine’s home village, resulting in tensions that put Mrs. Kamara’s Christian beliefs to the test. She issues an ultimatum, forcing Mbabazi to make a difficult choice, but Aine must too. Unable to convince Mama to reconsider, Aine runs away to Mbabazi’s and Achen’s home in Kampala. There she reconnects with Elia, the sophomore at Makerere University she’s had a crush on for a while.

Acclaimed writer Iryn Tushabe’s dazzling debut novel, Everything Is Fine Here, explores the choice Aine must make, and its inevitable and harrowing results.

My thoughts:

I actually forgot that I read this so I’m just going to do a very mini review. It was a fine book, not to my personal taste, but definitely not bad. I think it was a worthwhile inclusion in the Canada Reads Longlist because the book is set in Uganda, which is an underrepresented culture in the Canadian public consciousness (unlike the US), and one of the major characters spent time living and studying in Canada, which has mildly influenced their personality (unlike a certain romance book we won’t talk about any more).

Rating: 3/5 oversized suits that are your best outfit for any occasion

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid

Canada Reads 2026 Longlist

Synopsis:

Pro hockey star Shane Hollander isn’t just crazy talented, he’s got a spotless reputation. Hockey is his life. Now that he’s captain of the Montreal Voyageurs, he won’t let anything jeopardize that, especially the sexy Russian whose hard body keeps him awake at night.

Boston Bears captain Ilya Rozanov is everything Shane’s not. The self-proclaimed king of the ice, he’s as cocky as he is talented. No one can beat him—except Shane. They’ve made a career on their legendary rivalry, but when the skates come off, the heat between them is undeniable. When Ilya realizes he wants more than a few secret hookups, he knows he must walk away. The risk is too great.

As their attraction intensifies, they struggle to keep their relationship out of the public eye. If the truth comes out, it could ruin them both. But when their need for each other rivals their ambition on the ice, secrecy is no longer an option.

My thoughts:

To pretty much everyone’s surprise, I actually was impressed by Heated Rivalry. To be clear, I have not and will never watch the show, but I thought the book was pretty good. First things first, there is A LOT of sex. Like multiple times every chapter, a lot. But I feel like it makes sense in-universe. Shane and Ilya don’t have a normal relationship; they are either playing hockey/appearing at NHL events, or they are hooking up in secret. The only time they are able to interact in private is during a hookup session, and for the majority of the book, Shane and Ilya feel that the only relationship that they can have is just secret hookups, so I understand why there are so many hookup scenes. So I was pretty fine with it (as opposed to It’s Different This Time, which had much less inspired and more randomly inserted sex scenes, and those did not impress me). My only real problem with the sex scenes overall was that they started when Shane and Ilya were about 18 or 19 (ie, young enough that it gave me the ick to be reading them). The thing that I liked the most about Shane and Ilya’s relationship was the amount of yearning; both characters desperately want each other but they equally feel like they can’t be together, and I thought that this “equality” of thought was very compelling. (I’m gonna take another dig at It’s Different This Time, because that was a book where the characters definitely could be together if it weren’t for June fumbling everything for very little reason; that was very one-sided). It actually kind of reminded me of my own relationship. Readers will know that my fiancé Bennet and I spent the vast majority of our relationship as being long distance. I actually had to recalculated it for this article, but for the first 100 months of our relationship (which roughly matches up with when we moved in together in Toronto and then got engaged), we spent about 60 months of it being long distance between Toronto and Kingston/Ottawa. Those 60 months were hellish for me, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I know longer have to live my life counting the weeks until the next time I can see my boyfriend. During those 60 months, I felt a lot of longing and yearning, wishing that we could just be together, but knowing that we couldn’t, since we were attending universities in different cities. I’m not saying that being a cis-het white couple that is 3-5 hours drive apart is the same as being a queer couple in a hugely homophobic industry is the same thing, but I had a lot of empathy for Shane and Ilya’s predicament. Overall I was pleasantly surprised, and felt like this book had more depth than I was prepared to give it credit for.

Rating: 3/5 bottles of ginger ale that you stash in the fridge because you know it’s his favourite

First Sign of Danger by Kelley Armstrong (Haven’s Rock #4)

Synopsis: Detective Casey Duncan and her husband, Sheriff Eric Dalton, are entering a new chapter of life as parents to their six-month-old baby. Their family is hidden away in the sanctuary town of Haven's Rock where they can live safe and private lives. But when they encounter hikers too close to the borders of Haven's Rock, they realize they're in danger of being exposed.

When they find one of the hikers dead the next day, they realize that their paranoia was justified, but they're no closer to finding out who these people were and what they were doing in the vicinity of Haven's Rock. Only by tracing the hikers' movements, as well as examining the recent behavior of their closest neighbors, the workers of a secretive mining camp, will they be able to figure out where the threat is coming from and shut it down. Otherwise, the lives of everyone in Haven's Rock—and their safe, secure new existence—are at risk.

My Thoughts:

Another Haven’s Rock book has been released! As per usual, I really liked this book. Obviously it’s not the best series in the world, and Eddie has often named his complaints with this series and its prequel series. To me, the prose is so addicting that I feel like I’m inhaling it; the way that I might devour a piece of grocery-store sheet cake: it’s not the best, but I crave it much the same, and it also gives me an insane crash afterwards (holy run-on sentence). After finishing this book I definitely had a reading slump. Nothing felt enjoyable to read, and I felt listless and bored. (Not all the blame can be given to Kelley Armstrong, since I probably would have been feeling poorly without reading the book, but it was a factor just the same). I am a bit disappointed that there’s only going to be one more book in the series, but honestly it’s probably for the best.

New in this installment is how Casey and Eric are adapting to being new parents, and I found the support network of people willing to watch their baby while they were off investigating crimes to be very heartwarming. It was so picture perfect as to be a little saccharine, and it had me jealously wondering how they are going to cope when Rory stops being a loveable baby and grows up to become a tantrum-throwing toddler, or a sullen teenager. The murder plotline itself was fine, nothing to write home about in particular, but I really was interested in the overarching series details that were revealed (namely, the history of the neighbouring mining compound). This is getting similar to the Dresden Files where each book is just okay but they add up to something greater than themselves.

Rating: 4/5 boxes of obscure valuable coins

The Compound by Aisling Rawle

Synopsis: Lily—a bored, beautiful twentysomething—wakes up on a remote desert compound alongside nineteen other contestants on a popular reality TV show. To win, she must outlast her housemates while competing in challenges for luxury rewards, such as champagne and lipstick, and communal necessities to outfit their new home, like food, appliances, and a front door.

The cameras are catching all her angles, good and bad, but Lily has no desire to leave: Why would she, when the world outside is falling apart? As the competition intensifies, intimacy between the players deepens, and it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between desire and desperation. When the producers raise the stakes, forcing contestants into upsetting, even dangerous situations, the line between playing the game and surviving it begins to blur. If Lily makes it to the end, she'll receive prizes beyond her wildest dreams—but what will she have to do to win?

Addictive and prescient, The Compound is an explosive debut from a major new voice in fiction and will linger in your mind long after the game ends.

My Thoughts: Readers will know that I am generally not a fan of reality TV, but I thought that this book was very compelling. Lily’s character felt very unique; not because she was extraordinary in some way, but because she was so ordinary. She wasn’t making big social moves to stay in the game, she wasn’t excellent at completing challenges, she wasn’t the most beautiful or the most well-like contestant. The main thing that set her apart was that she wanted to stay in the compound more than anyone, just because she didn’t want to go back to her shitty retail job in the disastrous society that is continually hinted at. The other contestants often have a desire to go home, but Lily never has that. She just wants to stay in this fabricated paradise even though she fully understands that it’s fabricated. She understands that she has to edit herself to be more palatable to viewers and sponsors (hiding her sexuality, etc), but as long as she continues to live in this mansion and receive gifts, she doesn’t really care. I also thought the hints at the overarching dystopia made the book compelling, especially the references to the outer desert that surrounds the compound.

Rating: 3/5 gold necklaces from Dior that go with any outfit and are real 24 karat gold that will never tarnish or lose luster. Thank you, Dior! I’ll be wearing it every day!!

Spotify is known to have started out as an underhanded piracy platform and has since grown and flourished into a beautiful butterfly, leaving their piracy roots behind and adopting a wage slavery model instead! With the added cherry on top of major investments into the AI military complex, it really is a hard package to leave behind, isn’t it?

Where is one to go instead, then? Youtube music? Kinda, Youtube music isn’t too shabby. It does a far better job of recommending good music. Alongside lots of user-created mixes, it’s a decently compelling package. My problems with music streaming go deeper than that, though. I have very fond memories of getting my first iPhone at 13 years old and being really excited about downloading -Race Around The World- (a song from the game Castle Crashers) onto it and listening to the song anywhere I wanted. Now looking back on it, the Nokia 5300 XpressMusic that I left behind was probably a cooler phone. Though at the time, iPods and iPhones were basically the kings of mp3 players. I remember the Nokia’s UI being so slow and clunky, but the media buttons on the side were so sick, I didn’t care.

My main point about this isn’t really about the device but what’s on it. My excitement of playing this little rinky dink video game song on my phone was in large part that it was a niche personal choice that I got to revel in. Over the years of using Spotify, that feeling of developing a library for myself faded, as I constantly had to grapple with what is and isn’t available to stream on the platform. You might say, “Hey! Can’t you put your own local files into the Spotify app and play them alongside the rest of your music?” to which I say absolutely NOT.

Let me tell you about a little piece of software called foobar2000, one of the few golden rays of light in the world of cyberspace. Foobar2000 is fundamentally just a music player for local files, but it was a joy to use. You could configure the UI however you wanted, mess with the colour schemes, add plugins for extra functionality, and so much more that I didn’t even interface with. It was my main music player before I switched to Spotify. Most notably, however, there was a plugin somewhat aptly named “foo_input_spotify” which let you plug Spotify into the program and play tracks like they were songs on your computer. Had I shown someone else my music library, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the Spotify songs and the Foobar ones just by looking at it.

In software development, there is a concept called the “first-class citizen,” which, to majorly abbreviate it, means that this aspect of code is capable of all the functions as any other chunk of code. This lack of differentiation between the Spotify tracks and local ones in foobar is kind of the same thing, those songs were essentially first-class citizens of my music player.

Eventually, Spotify updated their APIs, permanently breaking “foo_input_spotify” and leaving my once harmonious relationship between two music players in shambles. So how does Spotify handle the mirror scenario? By putting all of your local files in a playlist called “local files”… that’s it. No searching, no album view, just playlists, and you have to pick through them all to add them to your playlists. I also remember the sync being inconsistent, so it wouldn’t even send to my phone. Is that true? I don’t care, I am being a hater.

I decided to bite the bullet and leave my music files behind. Collecting cyber dust in my hard drives as I moved on from that personal era of music. A lot of that stuff was kinda juvenile anyways, I should be listening to “real” music by now (this was late high school). So I took what I could find on Spotify and started again from scratch.

I’m not that avid of a music listener despite what these 814 words so far may imply. I think if I compared the two periods of my personal music history, I would say I generally spent more time listening to stuff when I was using foobar than when I was using Spotify. I had access to pretty much everything on Spotify, but that also meant that I rarely found anything I genuinely enjoyed just through Spotify alone.

So that brings us to today, as I spec out this little personal music streaming setup on my not-new server computer, I decide to crack open that casket of .mp3s and .flacs. Dubbed “Old music”, these files had been carried with me between multiple hard drives and computers. What treasures lie within this vault of ones and zeroes?

Ah yes… well to set the stage a little bit, imagine you’re a young boy on the who doesn’t have a fully formed idea of what music he likes yet. Pretty much all he has to go on so far is “no lyrics”. Hey, game soundtracks don’t have lyrics, and they’re pretty enjoyable, so let's try to find more of that. Imagine this boy’s delight when he finds a website called “OCReMix” which hosts a massive community of artists that remix video game songs and post them there for free. Free is pretty good, that guy can’t afford to buy anything anyways. So the final result ends up being a massive chunk of video game remixes, a handful of actual OSTs, and then the odd smattering of whatever else he enjoyed that was also free to download. A notable absence is the Minecraft soundtrack, which was not downloaded but instead listened to on repeat on Bandcamp.

Notice there is no mention made of the music’s quality. With my older ears and matured taste, I can definitely say that there is a lot of variance. At the same time though, it’s pretty fun to just embrace some of the garbage anyways. In general most of the actual game OSTs hold up perfectly fine, there’s definitely a couple I still listened to up until now. The tracks that are on the lower end of the spectrum are what are best described as “Royalty Free Youtuber Outro” songs. Some of them are alright, but the few that are there just generally aren’t great. Not sure what I saw in them back then, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t huge on them at the time either. For the remixes? It’s mostly comprised of passionate amateur musicians, so while things aren’t very consistent, there is an earnestness to them that I find endearing. Plus, they have a nostalgic soft spot in my heart, cheesy as they may potentially be. That being said, there are definitely some nuggets, but I cannot be truly trusted as a source of information on this, so perhaps I will leave it up to you to decide.

• PROTO·DOME – Chef Kawasaki’s 16-Bit Jazz Orchestra
• XPRTNovice – Miles and Miles away (Esto Gaza)
• DDRKirby(ISQ) – Love Everlasting (Lonely Rolling Star)
• Ben Briggs – BITE(Ice Path)
• melody & Detective Tuesday – spirit of law

The best thing that’s come about from having set up this private spotify replacement is that I have had to more intimately seek out tracks, download them, and add them to my library like the good old days. In serendipitous accordance with doing things the old-fashioned way, I have made my way to a certain bird-themed peer-to-peer music sharing service. I had always lamented that I missed out on what must have been a magical time when Napster and Limewire were in their heyday, so I am glad I get to experience something that evokes a similar feeling.

Through this service, I have already discovered so many tracks that I love and would have never in a million years found through spotify. The shining star that ties my past and present selves is one of my favourite artists, Nujabes. I had discovered him a bit before switching to spotify and adored his jazz hip-hop style. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2010, and so we will never get another album from him again. What I personally hadn’t realised is that he released music under a different name in the past, “Hydeout Productions”. I had been living in ignorant bliss for all these years, and it wasn’t until I started using this music sharing service did I discover two whole albums he produced that I had never listened to before.

It was like getting a new album from him after all this time.

Obviously, these days my listening range is far broader, but it has been fun and rewarding going back through my own past and rediscovering the things that were always there. Thank you for reading my sleep-deprived rant. I'm gonna go listen to some shitty youtube outro songs now.

We ended at 19 books read last month, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm loosing steam a little. Also Slay The Spire 2 released in early access this month, and I might already have 75h hours in it. Those two statement are not linked in any way. Overall, I've not been into a really reading mood. Nevertheless, we carry on, even if slowly.

L'ordre du Discours – Michel Foucault

A transcription of Michel Foucault's (french philosopher) inaugural speech at the Collège de France on December 2nd 1970.

The main thesis of this work is that the production of the discourse in a society is controlled, selected, organised and redistributed to remove its power, its danger, and its material reality.

Many process, Foucault says, are used to this end.

External processes:

I – Prohibition: it's pretty self explanatory how prohibition limits discourse II – Sharing vs rejecting: Categorising discourse as being worthy or not of being shared. (in the speech Foucault refers to this process as the Discourse of the Madman) III – Truth and Falseness: Excluding discourse that are categorised as false, and putting the truth above all else in the discourse. Caring more about how something is said rather than what is said (think “Fallacy fallacy”)

Internal processes:

I – The commentary: distinction between the discourse that are legitimate and enduring in time (religious texts, law...) and the ones that are considered ephemeral. (gotta be honest I didn't really understand this one well)

II – The author: Used to credit/discredit a discourse, being allowed or not to produce a discourse on a topic or not. The presence or not of an known author changes how we perceive a discourse.

III – The discipline: categorising the discourse to a certain discipline limits what it can say, and how it can say it. A scientific paper in a botanical journal will be limited in what they can say about certain historical cultural norms and their impact on a specific species of plants. It also inscribes the discourse in a certain consensus, either forcing to explore a trendy topic or reject something out of fad.

Limiting the number of discourse havers:

By the processes in which the discourse is supposed to happen (written form, memorisation...), with arbitrary rules on how to discuss, what to discuss about, who can discuss about that and who can hear and relay this discourse (private debate salons...).

Last part I understood nothing, he talks about history and hegel, about reversing the trend, about his debt to another philosopher about genealogy. It like the last 10% of the book but I feel like it might have made more sense when he talked about it in class.

I wanted to do a little summary here to make sure I understood and remembered most of the book, as it wasn't the simplest to read. I neither have the time nor the will to do a fully fledged article. It says some interesting stuff, but there are some things in particular that I think are not as relevant, especially with the advent of the internet and the seemingly “infinite” amount of discourse (even if it is controlled and limited in pretty the same manner as described above in my opinion). It's an interesting concept, but not necessarily something that I'm interested in, so I probably won't be reading further about the subject for now.

Universal War One – Denis Bajram

(Volume 1 & 2 [out of 6])

At the end of the 21st century, humanity has conquered everything. There is one central government ruling the earth, and one central force, the United Earthes Force (UEF) defending the Earth and other human colonies like the moon and mars. The capital has also centralised, and only 9 companies in an alliance — les Compagnies Industrielles de Colonisation (CIC), remain to exploit resources. There are constant tensions between the central government and the CIC. One day, a wall of nothingness appears next to Saturn. Nobody knows what it is and how it came to be, and the UEF send the Purgatory Squadron to investigate. This squadron is composed of soldiers that had one choice after getting court martial — pay for their crimes or serve in the Purgatory Squadron. Could what the Purgatory Squadron discover next to Saturn lead to the first Universal War...

A classic of french BD, and sci-fi. The drawings and colour look good, but it is sometimes a bit complicated to follow the story/action. It is extremely fast paced. It does dive head first into “feelings”, which I can appreciate, as I'm not always a fan of more “inorganic” SF. Some interesting themes are starting to be discussed, I'll wait to see if the author did anything with them. Overall enjoying my read so far. It's really impressive that a single guys did everything, story, drawings, colours...

This doesn't count as a full book, it's only when I'll be done with it that I will. But since it technically came out in separate volumes it feels appropriate to include it here.

100 Easy Ukrainian Texts – Yuliia Pozniak

(Part 1 and 2)

Some of you knight know that I have been learning Ukrainian for a little bit, to be able to speak with my in-laws/Tetyana's extended family. I've started with the usual duolingo — it's not great and became even worse with all the AI garbage, then I got a couple of textbooks (neither were great). There are not a ton of resources to self-teach ukrainian, and it's also a very complex language — all the languages I had learnt before, english, italian... were coughing babies in comparison. So in September last year I got a teacher, and have been taking one to two 1h lessons per week. My ultimate goal is not only to be able to speak in ukrainian, but I want to be able to read books, and write stuff in ukrainian as well. I had asked my teacher what books he would recommend for me to start dipping my toes in ukrianian literature, and he literally told me that none of them are good, because there is no standard literary ukrainian, so everything is way too tough for me. He recommended to read ukrainian translations of english book, like 1984 which he was currently trying to read in english.

I thought it was fitting as 1984 is the first book I read in english, when I was around 16. So I picked up a copy of the Ukrainian translation and quickly realised that it would not happen, as the first sentence of the book spans a whole page. I therefore turned to much more approachable 100 Easy Ukrainian Texts.

I finished part 1, Я і моя родина (me and my family) and part 2 Мої речі (my things). Riveting stuff really. To give you idea, this is one of those texts:

Якось я загубив свій рюкзак. Я дуже засмутився, бо там були мої документи, ключі від квартири та гроші. Я пішов додому, а через кілька годин до мене прийшов молодий хлопець та повернув мій рюкзак. Він сказав, що знайшов його на автобусній зупинці. Я був йому дуже вдячний та запросив його попити зі мною кави. Ми познайомилися і виявилося, що ми сусіди. Тепер ми спілкуємося та часто ходимо разом в спортзал.

Basically this is saying “Once, I lost my backpack. I was upset because I had my IDs, keys and money in it. I went home and after a few hours, a guy came and gave me my bag. He said he had found it at the bus stop. I was very thankful and invited him for coffee. It turned out we were neighbours, we said we would go to the gym together.”

The text are your usual easy language textbook texts, but tbh I can't read anything more complicated and I even have a bit of trouble with the more advanced texts in this. This language is so hard, it feels like I've been learning it forever but I can still not say anything and barely understand stuff. We stubborn, we keep going though.

This doesn't count towards the book counter because it's one of my extra book, which wasn't part of the backlog.

La Maison des Mères – Frank Herbert

(Dune saga book 6)

More sex kung-fu, some Judaism, and somehow more questionable stuff, still peak. This is the last book of the Dune saga, and the last book Frank wrote before he died. It's an interesting conclusion to Dune, and I personally think that this was intended as the last book fr fr. I really don't believe in the “notes” for a seventh book that his son found (but nobody else has ever seen) that the son used to cash in on his father's work continue the series.

I'm satisfied, but I still have to think about it. I'll probably re-read the series in a couple of year.

Very meta ending

What Do Men Want – Nina Power

I picked up this book at Indigo while Tetyana was looking for her pick, ahead of the feminist theory night (to which we unfortunately ended up not being able to participate in). I didn't look up the author or the book, I just naively thought it could be interesting to get a feminist point of view on men. I should have done some research.

Within the first few pages of the introduction, Mme Power defends JK Rowling, Jordan Peterson, reveals herself as a terf and as someone who thinks there is a war on men and that anyways, on the topic of misogyny and violence towards women, it's only a very small amount of men that are part of the problem so it's not systemic. We're on page 6; it's gonna be a long read.

With this book coming out in 2022, it is incredible how much it got wrong. Early in the book, she kinda dismisses the idea of the patriarchy as a driving force of the unease around gender in modern society, and then goes on to showcase issues or phenomena and is always puzzled about where those came from/what causes that, and the answer is always the patriarchy. This goes on for almost everything in the book. She keeps dismissing the idea of systemic things by saying: “well this breaks down at the individual level, therefore it's not real/doesn't exist”

This book is not about men, it's not about desire (what men want), and its takes on masculinity is laughable. First of all, this book constantly confuses sex and gender, and therefore cannot say anything pertinent about either. Second, it mostly talks about cis men through their relationships with women, with an emphasis on sexual relationships with cis women and only cis women, i.e. this book is just super hetero-normative. This not only exclude the vast majority of the material reality of men, it also just excludes a bunch of men entirely.

The way the book talks about anything also sucks. The way she broaches any subject is “Conservative figure/MRA says [statement about men/women that is fucking stupid and not true]“. That's it, no analysis, no pushback, no fact-checking. She just parrots their point of views and then goes on to develop her own views using theirs as a foundation or launching pad, or even just ignoring everything (why bring it up at all then?). This book was such shit that I needed to exteriorise my frustration, and wrote notes as I read. Touching on this, I wrote : “>Bring up something potentially interesting to explore, does nothing with it or worse, quotes a chud and then moves on”. She literally cites Michel Houellebecq multiple times, one of our own (french) chuds, who not only is a misogynist, but also extremely islamophobic, and a defender of the “Great Replacement” conspiracy theory.

Her views on sexuality are also catastrophic, I'll just leave you with two quotes: “There are plenty of people today ,[...], who understand that sex is a marketplace like everything else.” & “As we have seen, sex, like money and good looks, is not fairly distributed” — literally incel talking points.

She also brings up capitalism and consumerism at times, but only in passing, without tying it to anything she said, or without saying anything of substance with it. It's as if she was filling a “how to appear like I'm a lefty” checklist, but without understanding anything, or without wanting to alienate anyone who's not on the anti-capitalist train.

Her conclusion boils down to: “If we all ignored systemic issues and were nicer to each other on an individual level, everything would be better :D”.

This reminded me of both Kill all Normies and Brave New World Revisited, by Angela Nagle and Aldous Huxley respectively, Nina Power's british compatriots — I don't know what's in the water in the UK, but it's making everyone very complacent about harmful right-wing rhetoric.

This is not a feminist book about what men want, this is a masculinist book, clad in a mantle of pseudo-progressivism, pseudo-feminism and pseudo-critique of consumerism and capitalism not to be shot down on sight, peddling idiotic and regressive views on men, women, masculinity, and sexuality.

At the very least, it made me think about the concept of desire, and I feel like I would want to read more about it (although in this is book desire is taken to be exclusively sexual desire from men towards woman, which is wholly uninteresting as, imo, it is the most easily understandable in an almost instinctive manner).

That's it for this month, although I've fluffed up this article, I've actually done very little reading. And I was far from the 50 pages a day I need to finish this project. I'm at 22/60 books in the booklog, and at 6691/19886 pages — or 37% and 34% done respectively. A pretty slow month for reading, again, but c'est la vie.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

I'm still here! I've been pretty excited to keep reading and blogging for this month. This month I read 5 ebooks and 2 eaudiobooks from the Toronto Public Library, and 1 epub, totalling to 8 books.

The numbers as they stand, as of February 28th 2026

Total Reading Goal: 16/100 (+8)

Canada Reads Shortlist: 2/5 (+1) – I added A Minor Chorus by Billy-Ray Belcourt

Canada Reads Longlist: 2/10 (+1) – I added Restaurant Kid by Rachel Pham

Nonfiction Goal: 1/12 (+1) – Restaurant Kid again, since it's a memoir

TPL Reading Challenge: 6/25 (+2) – The Future of Another Timeline by Annalee Newitz, for the category “Dual Perspectives” – The God of the Woods by Liz Moore for the category “Family Saga”

The Names by Florence Knapp

Synopsis: In the wake of a catastrophic storm, Cora sets off with her nine-year-old daughter, Maia, to register her newborn son’s birth. Her husband, Gordon, a local doctor, respected in the community but a terrifying and abusive presence at home, intends for her to name the infant after him. But when the registrar asks what she’d like to call the child, Cora hesitates…

Spanning thirty-five years, what follows are three alternate and alternating versions of Cora’s and her young son’s lives, shaped by her choice of name: Gordon, chosen by his father; Julian, chosen by his mother Cora; and Bear, chosen by his sister Maia. In richly layered prose, The Names explores the painful ripple effects of domestic abuse, the messy ties of family, and the possibilities of autonomy and healing.

My thoughts: I thought this book would be dense and pretentious, but it was actually very beautiful and moving. It was so interesting to see how different characters and events shaped the son’s lives in different ways when he was Gordon vs Julian vs Bear. It’s not quite the same as nominative determinism, but it was immediately clear that the choice of name dramatically changed the son’s (and the whole family’s) lives. (I feel like this is a bit of a click-bait sentence; in actuality, the driving force behind the different lives is how the son’s name influences his abusive father’s reaction and resulting actions; whether he accepts the name Gordon, tolerates the name Julian, or completely rejects the name Bear). One thing that I was obsessed with at the beginning of the book was trying to determine which of the lives was the “best” life. Obviously, I figured, it had to be Bear’s life; his father was completely out of the picture, and he had a happy and idyllic childhood with his mother and sister and found family of neighbours. But as you go through the story, that’s obviously not the point. While all the lives end up being very different, they each have their share of happiness and hardships, and you can see that the son aches for the relationships that he has in other lives. In the end, it’s up to the reader to determine which life was truly the best one (I think I still stand by Bear, but there’s a lot more nuance now; his adult life suffers, and he ends up dying very young, but I still can’t get over the joy and community of the perfect childhood). This really was a hauntingly beautiful book, and I would definitely recommend it.

Rating: 4/5 simple pieces of silver jewellery, hand made by you for the woman you love

The Future of Another Timeline by Annalee Newitz

Synopsis: This book exists in a universe where time travel is a fact of life, made possible by a group of stone “machines” that have existed for tens of thousands of years. It’s in the popular culture, but mostly used by academics studying cultural geology, and can only be used to travel back in time from one’s current present. In 1992 CE, Beth is a high school in California, struggling with her difficult home life and unsure how she can continue to support her best friend Lizzie when Lizzie begins to travel down a dangerous path. In 2022 CE, Tess works as a cultural geologist during the day, traveling back in time to observe and document key moments in feminist movements. By night, she belongs to a group of activists known as the Daughters of Harriet; a group of women and non-binary people that are dedicated to changing the timeline by making “edits” in the past. When they discover a group of men known as the Comstockers (followers of Anthony Comstock, a pro-censorship, anti-women, anti-sex education activist of the early 20th century) are attempting to lock history into a decidedly misogynist edit, Tess and the DOH spring into action. But will it be enough?

My thoughts: This book is best described as “feminist queer punk rage against the machine” and honestly is not really my cup of tea. I listened to this book as an audiobook, and while I normally don’t have much criticism of the narrator, I really did not like Laura Nichol’s performance. No fault to her, but I thought her voice and overall mannerisms were super immature. I’m unsure if this was her first narration experience, but her performance felt very unpolished in a way that I’m having trouble articulating, but I feel like you would notice if I played you a sample of the audiobook. It permeated the novel and probably made me dislike the book more than if I had read it. However, I will say that it felt very punk, very true to the book, so maybe I just don’t like the book itself. Wherever I get into a situation like this, where I am disliking a very feminist book, I feel a bit guilty; is this book actually bad or am I personally just full of internalized misogyny? Did I not like this book because the feminine characters don’t subscribe to my ideas of femininity, or because the plot was not well thought out? I suspect it’s a little bit of both. Personally, I am not a very activist person; I am much more likely to go with the flow and tolerate the status quo instead of standing up for my personal beliefs; is that why I didn’t vibe with these womxn who are willing to go after what matters to them, even if they have to kill for it? Am I too afraid of breaking the rules to really appreciate what it means to kill a guy who is trying to rape your friend? I guess I don’t really know.

Rating: 2/5 tickets to a Grape Ape show

Shroud by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Synopsis: A commercial expedition to a distant star system discovers a pitch-black moon alive with radio activity. Its high-gravity, high-pressure, zero-oxygen environment is deadly to human life, but ripe for exploitation. They named it Shroud. Under no circumstances can a human survive Shroud’s inhospitable surface – but a catastrophic accident forces Juna Ceelander and Mai Ste Etienne to make an emergency landing in a barely adequate escape vehicle. Alone, and fighting for survival, the two women embark on a gruelling journey across land, sea and air in search of salvation. But as they travel, Juna and Mai begin to understand Shroud’s unnerving alien species. It also begins to understand them. If they escape Shroud, they’ll somehow have to explain the impossible and translate the incredible. That is, if they make it back at all . . .

My thoughts: The first part of this book was a lot of exposition setting up the space-faring hyper capitalist society. The second part of this book was unabashedly terrifying: the story of two women who are accidentally marooned on a strange moon, full of completely alien creatures. Shroud is completely deadly to humans, by virtue of a high pressure atmosphere that would crush you, a toxic atmosphere that would poison you, and a bonechilling temperature that would instantly freeze you. This book wasn’t intended to be a horror book, but it felt like I was reading one of those survival horror movies like The Shallows (2016) (the protagonist is trapped on a buoy trying to survive a great white shark attack) or Fall (2022) (the protagonists are trapped on the top of a 2000-foot radio tower when their only ladder breaks). Genuinely terrifying. As the book goes on it becomes less scary (at least to me) and more of a gruelling trek for survival. Juna and Mai have determined that the only way for them to possibly get off of Shroud is if they traverse the moon in order to reach the space elevator that was constructed on the polar opposite side of Shroud. It’s interspersed with chapters from the POV of the Shrouded, Juna’s name for the aliens that they first encounter. The Shrouded was a really interesting concept for an alien, and I thought those chapters were well done. I also thought that the juxtaposition between this literally “alien” form of life compared to the hypercaptialist megacorporation The Concern, who control all of the existing spacefaring human civilizations (here, everyone lives in a desperate attempt to be useful, knowing that if they don’t meet their quotas they’ll be unceremoniously returned to cryosleep, where they might languish for the rest of their lives). Tchaikovsky’s choice to have one of his protagonists be Juna, a jack of all trades, master of non, was also interesting. Her role aboard the spaceship was to be the social grease that kept the gears of her team running; resolving conflict and accommodating everyone. She acts as the social and moral support for Mai, the genius engineer who constructed the pod that is their only hope of survival. I appreciated that it never felt like Juna had no agency; even though she wasn’t doing the bulk of the engineering, she was definitely contributing to their overall survival, especially when you consider that the trek across Shroud took them weeks to complete. This overall feeling of agency was helped because both of the characters equally had little agency; when you’re trapped on an alien moon, you aren’t there to drive the plot forward in complicated ways; your job is to roll with the punches of an unfamiliar environment and hope that you simply don’t die. Overall, this was a really well done book, and I would definitely recommend to anyone who is looking for a sci fi saga.

Rating: 4/5 ambassadors that contain chemical messengers inside them (how was I supposed to know that you weren’t an ambassador)

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore

Synopsis: When Barbara Van Laar is discovered missing from her summer camp bunk one morning in August 1975, it triggers a panicked, terrified search. Losing a camper is a horrific tragedy under any circumstances, but Barbara isn’t just any camper; she’s the daughter of the wealthy family that owns the camp — as well as the opulent nearby estate and most of the land in sight. And this isn’t the first time a Van Laar child has disappeared in this region: Barbara’s older brother Bear also went missing fourteen years ago, never to be found. How could this have happened yet again? Out of this gripping beginning, Liz Moore weaves a richly textured drama, both emotionally nuanced and propelled by a double-barreled mystery. Chasing down the layered secrets of the Van Laar family and the community working in its shadow, Moore’s multi-threaded drama brings readers into the hearts of characters whose lives are forever changed by this eventful summer.

My thoughts: I picked up this book after Kaitlyn needed some motivation to finish her copy. Again, I was expecting it to be dense and pretentious, but I found it to be very readable. It’s a bit of a murder mystery, but not really. Instead of being mysterious, it’s about the lives of the characters who were present at the time of Barbara’s disappearance. There is a missing persons investigation, but the book doesn’t spend so much time on it that it really feels like a crime novel. Moore spends most of the time unravelling the lives of the different characters, most of which I found to be very compelling. I think that if I had picked up this book a few years ago, I probably would have found it to be boring, a “nothing ever happens book”, and would have been disappointed that it wasn’t actually a crime thriller. But at this time in my life, I enjoyed it and appreciated it for what it was. Maybe it means that I’m growing up.

Rating: 3/5 murals on bedroom walls, heartbreakingly covered up with garish pink paint

Restaurant Kid: A Memoir of Family and Belonging by Rachel Phan

Canada Reads 2026 Longlist

Synopsis: When she was three years old, Rachel Phan met her replacement. Instead of a new sibling, her parents’ time and attention were suddenly devoted entirely to their new family restaurant. For her parents—whose own families fled China during Japanese occupation and then survived bombs and starvation during the war in Vietnam—it was a dream come true. For Rachel, it was something quite different. Overnight, she became a restaurant kid, living on the periphery of her own family and trying her best to stay out of the way. In Restaurant Kid, Rachel seeks to examine the way her life has been shaped by the rigid boxes placed around her. She had to be a “good daughter,” never asking questions, always being grateful. She had to be a “real Canadian,” watching hockey and speaking English so flawlessly that her tongue has since forgotten how to contort around Cantonese tones. As the only Chinese girl at school, she had to alternate between being the sidekick, geek, or Asian fetish, depending on whose gaze was on her. Now, three decades after their restaurant first opened, Rachel's parents are cautiously talking about retirement. As an adult, Rachel’s “good daughter” role demands something new of her—and a chance to get to know her parents away from the restaurant.

My thoughts: As someone who grew up in a very diverse city, and came of age in the 2010s, it was shocking and horrifying to hear about the racism that the author experienced as a kid growing up in the 2000s in Essex county, Ontario. She grew up in a small town that was 95% white, and the behaviours of her classmates and peers felt cartoonishly racists (not to say that they didn’t happen, but to say that the early 2000s was apparently a gross time to be a POC). Although the book mainly covers the author’s childhood, she shared some parts of her current adulthood, and it was really gratifying to see that she was able to start dealing with some of the trauma she endured from her classmates, and also see her thrive in a community where she was able to stand up for herself.
Restaurant Kid was eye opening in a lot of ways, but one specific way that I wanted to touch on was how Rachel’s childhood differentiated from my own. Growing up in the 2000s as the youngest child, she had little to no parental oversight, and was apparently constantly drinking, smoking, and having sex. I was a super boring teenager with a lot of parental oversight, and I did none of those things. In particular, Rachel focuses a lot on her sexuality and sexual experiences as a tween and teen. This topic received a lot of “page time” but didn’t seem to have a similar outsized effect on the overall story of her life. It doesn’t lead into a journey of discovering her sexuality, it doesn’t lead to any kind of medical conditions, and it doesn’t seem to have that much of an effect on her adult dating life (which to me, someone who has no expertise in this area, seemed pretty normal for a young woman in the late 2010s and early 2020s) I’m wondering if the book could have been better balanced; I was specifically shocked at the relatively little time that Rachel spent discussing her depression and suicidal ideation; as someone who continues to struggle with depression ever since I was a teenager, this would have been one of the defining features if I ever wrote a memoire of my own childhood. But I guess this is a good reminder that Rachel and I had very different lives, and that my perspectives and norms are not actually that “normal.” On a final note, Rachel’s account of her trip to Vietnam with her parents did hit kind of different. She describes it as life changing experience, where she got to bond with her parents on a deeper level, and get to understand her own culture. My mom regularly tells stories about the time she took her mother (my grandmother) on a backpacking trip through Italy (Where my grandmother was born), and has mentioned how much she would like the two of us to take a similar mother-daughter trip together. Unfortunately, I don’t think that this is something I’ll be able to do, at least in the short term. I have too many other things that I’m saving up my money and my vacation time for (wedding, honeymoon, emergency fund, maybe a down payment for a condo). Up until recently, I also haven’t had any itch to travel, especially outside of Canada, which is unusual for a lot of my circle of acquaintances. It makes me wonder if I’m making the wrong choice, and ignoring my mom’s happiness in favour of my own, by not prioritizing this trip. Is this something that I will live to regret?

Rating: ⅗ orders of General Phan’s Shrimp

A Minor Chorus by Billy-Ray Belacourt

Canada Reads 2026 Shortlist

Synopsis: In Northern Alberta, a queer Indigenous doctoral student steps away from his dissertation to write a novel. He is adrift, caught between his childhood on the reservation and this new life of the urban intelligentsia. Billy-Ray Belcourt’s unnamed narrator chronicles a series of encounters: a heart-to-heart with fellow doctoral student River over the mounting pressure placed on marginalized scholars; a meeting with Michael, a closeted adult from his hometown whose vulnerability and loneliness punctuate the realities of queer life on the fringe. Amid these conversations, the narrator is haunted by memories of Jack, a cousin caught in the cycle of police violence, drugs, and survival. Jack’s life parallels the narrator’s own; the possibilities of escape and imprisonment are left to chance with colonialism stacking the odds. A Minor Chorus introduces the dazzling literary voice of a Lambda Literary Award winner and Canadian #1 national best-selling poet to the United States, shining much-needed light on the realities of Indigenous survival.

My thoughts: I definitely don’t think that this book is bad, but it just wasn’t for me. It’s one of the Canada Reads selection for this year, and probably not something that I would have read on my own; one of the reasons that I challenge myself to read the whole shortlist (and this year, the longlist too) is to broaden my horizons and pick up books I normally would not read. As a white, cishet, settler woman, I am obviously not the intended audience for a book written by a Two-Spirit Indigenous person, and that’s okay. Personally, I found the book a bit too abstract for my personal preferences, and it was very much a book where the characters think about things, rather than do things. It also felt very much like a book that was written by a writer, for writers, which was another reason why it missed the mark for me.

Rating: 2/5 theses that you want to drop in order to write a novel, which is basically your thesis

All of Us Murderers by KJ Charles

Synopsis: When Zeb Wyckham is summoned to a wealthy relative's remote Gothic manor, he is horrified to find all the people he least wants to see in the world: his estranged brother, his sneering cousin, and his bitter ex-lover Gideon Grey. Things couldn't possibly get worse.

Then the master of the house announces the true purpose of the gathering: he intends to leave the vast family fortune to whoever marries his young ward, setting off a violent scramble for her hand. Zeb wants no part of his greedy family―but when he tries to leave, the way is barred. The walls of Lackaday House are high, and the gates firmly locked. As the Dartmoor mists roll in, there's no way out. And something unnatural may be watching them from the house's shadowy depths…

Fear and paranoia ramping ever-higher, Zeb has nowhere to turn but to the man who once held his heart. As the gaslight flickers and terror takes hold, can two warring lovers reunite, uncover the murderous mysteries of Lackaday House―and live to tell the tale?

My thoughts: Overall I thought this was a pretty interesting book with an intriguing mystery. I commend the author for executing the mystery and the setting well; I think someone who was less skilled would have turned this into something a bit too ridiculous or fantastical. I think it’s because most things were grounded in reality, instead of in the supernatural. For example, the idea of a haunted mansion that you’re not allowed to leave could be over the top, but Lackaday House wasn’t really haunted, it was actually just really uncomfortable (physically, being cold, in disrepair, etc, but also emotionally, filled with hostile staff and overtly hostile other guests), and the reason that you couldn’t leave the grounds because the mist (a natural, common phenomenon) was so thick that it makes it treacherous to wander around, and also that the host specifically asked you to not leave, so you have to stay out of social obligation. I thought the cast of characters was pretty interesting; everyone felt strange but distinct. I specifically thought it was funny that the “token female” character, Elise, was surrounded by a group of ridiculous men. It felt very Almost Friday-core. For the main character Zeb, I thought he was really interesting to experience the story through. I liked his combination of relative sanity, but also getting a window into his ADHD, and what it would have looked like in a historical context (eg. fidgeting with prayer beads). I specifically liked the reveal that Zeb was a successful published author because it demonstrated ADHD as a strength, which I would have liked to see a bit more with regards to the main mystery of the book.

Rating: 4/5 rosary beads that you have to clack around just to focus on something

Finding Flora by Elinor Florence

Synopsis: In 1905, Scottish newcomer Flora Craigie jumps from a moving train to escape her abusive husband. Desperate to disappear, she claims a homestead near Alix, Alberta, determined to start a new life for herself. She finds that her nearest neighbours are also a Welsh widow with three children; two American women raising chickens; and a Métis woman who makes a living by breaking in wild horses.

While battling the harsh environment (and draconian local attitudes toward female farmers), the five women grapple with the differences of their backgrounds and the secrets each struggles to keep. When their homes are threatened with expropriation by the hostile federal Minister of the Interior, the women join forces to “fire the heather,” a Scottish term meaning raising a ruckus. And as the competition for land along the new Canadian Pacific railway line heats up, Flora’s violent husband closes in, and an unscrupulous land agent threatens the lives and livelihoods of the women just as they’re coming into their own.

My thoughts: I thought this book was a very cool slice of Canadian history. I was definitely soyfacing when historical figures like Irene Parlby (a member of the Famous Five and overall I really appreciated that it felt thoroughly Canadian. I thought Flora’s struggle as a single female homesteader in a new land was particularly poignant; it really underlined the immense struggle that newcomers and refugees can face across time and history. I loved the small community of women that Flora was able to build up, and I definitely loved that at the end she didn’t have to sacrifice her farm in order to find a husband (which I was definitely worried about, especially since villagers in the book constantly eschewed people who took a homestead, worked it, and then sold it just so that they could fund their move to somewhere else).

Rating: 3/5 barnraisers for a field that was mysteriously razed

We keep on keeping on this month, and going down the booklog list.

Godzilla on my mind – William Tsutsui

The café's #1 Godzilla addict fan reporting in.

This book is a sorta retrospective on the godzilla phenomenon from it's beginning in 1954 until 2004, when this book came out. It is to note that this was released before Toho's final Godzilla in the Millenium era, Gozilla: Final Wars from 2004, and Toho's subsequent putting of Godzilla under ice until 2016. It is also before any of the modern american Godzilla movies, although the first american godzilla, from 1998, had released by then. This also mostly talks about pre-internet stuff, and definitely pre modern internet (youtube wasn't even a thing in 2004).

It was a nice little read. The author is a historian so he does do a good job of putting together an interesting and structured essay about godzilla. Although it's nice to have the point of view of someone from that time, it is a double edge sword. We have a nice time-capsule of was Godzilla was in the late 80 to early 2000's, but at the same time, every reference is extremely dated to the point of irrelevance. And it's not even a thing of “Am I too french to understand any of this anglo-saxon/american bullshit?”, it's just stuff that is too specific to that period and that just didn't stand the test of time. Other than that, it was really nice to learn about all the copycats that godzilla had spawned, and all the weird shit that happened for the american distribution (and therefore most likely canadian as well) of godzilla movies. Like imagine hollywood execs saying that the cast of the movie is not white enough so the american audience won't care, and them filming sequences with an american cast to replace the ones in the original movie. Insane.

I must see more Godzilla movies.

Baptism of Fire – Andrzej Sapkowski

(Book 5 of the Witcher Series)

I hate the characterisation of Milva. The trope of womanly characters falling head over heels for Geralt right away for no reason continues with her, but it's also done super weirdly, like she's a strong independent woman but in her heart she's just a damsel who “needs” Geralt. Maybe it's the translation that imbues that weird vibe, but I was really not a fan. The other member of the hansa were cool, even if it did take me pretty much until the end of the book to appreciate cahir. Regis is the goat. The Ciri/Falka plotline felt a bit off at times. One book to go until the end of Geralt and Ciri's story.

Les hérétiques de Dune – Frank Herbert

(Dune saga book 5)

PEAK but also a tad weird

After the end of God Emperor of Dune, I didn't think Frank could make me super invested in another Dune plotline. I was wrong, I was hooked within the first 20 pages. Great new story, interesting characters... I liked the new 5000 years in the future (from the last novel) setting, all the new world building that we get drip by drip, but with enough mystery left out to keep everything engaging. And bro, they've been making duncans for literally 10 000 years at this point, what's up with him?

But it also gets a bit weird at the end, with sex kung-fu.

The Lady of the Lake – Andrzej Sapkowski

(Book 6 [and final book] of the Witcher Series)

I really didn't like the this final book of the witcher series. The plot both grinds to a halt and gets resolved in the same book, and none of the resolutions for any arcs are really satisfying. It really felt like the author was just done with this part of geralt's story and just rushed through everything to get to the end. The narrative device used for the first part of the book adds many, many pages of fluff. I can and do appreciate less conventional story telling mechanics, and even digressions, but not when this is the last book of your saga and none of the plot lines have been resolved or even developed fully.

We don't really do anything of substance with Geralt, we have none of Yennefer's POV, and only Ciri's story moves forward. Only 200 pages from the end of the book — and the end of Geralt's saga — we were so far away from any resolution from any of the plotlines introduced in the book, and there's six books worth of material and setup and stuff, that I started doubting that this was indeed the final book in the saga. But it is. In 200 pages, the author concludes the giant geopolitical intricate war/invasion plotline of the series, has the main characters take care of the first and second main bad guys, has the situation with the third bad guy (who was a complete mystery until then, but let's throw in some last minute exposition) resolve itself. Also, we kill off all the troupe's companions, “resolve” some of the main themes, have the main characters — which had been running after each other for the last three books— finally meet up, concludes the arc of those main characters. On top of that the author uses more than one extra narrative device that take more breathing room from the plot, and has almost none of the character arcs, and honestly nor the rest of the plotlines, resolve satisfyingly.

The series overall is good, and even this book, but it really needed a good book or two to really have stuff wrap up neatly. I will probably read the other Witcher books, that are all prequels/sidequels (since this books concludes the witcher saga quite unambiguously) because I think the universe is really cool.

Arthurian Tales mentioned.

Now that I've read the books though, I can ask, what the fuck were they doing with the show? Not only is the plot is completely different, and so are the characters, so much so that it's not even an adaptation of the witcher saga after season 1, but it's also complete ass.

Going through book series is the easiest part of the boocklog, but I feel like as soon as I have to decide what to read next and it's only standalone books, I'll be overcome with choice paralysis. Still, so far I'm at 18/60 books in the booklog, and at 5647/19886 pages — or 30% and 28% done respectively — so have have some margin to manoeuvre. Let's keep up the good work next month.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

We are back with a new year, and new books. There's finally gonna be some more physical books as I have as a goal to go through everything that I have bought and not read yet, as I've mentioned in the previous monthly, I'm doing a sort of booklog. On the menu this month, a bunch of manga, and a decent amount of books.

Carmilla – Author

A classic vampire novella, predating Dracula by 25 years.

It was a nice little read. It could have been so much more, but it does some good things for what it is. I liked the lore of vampire that they established, that is not just derivative of Dracula (as it as written before). The predation relation of the vampire with the victim is more interesting here. The setting is kinda bland and too classic — a rich family in a manor with servants, with a doctor at their disposal and generally anything at their disposal. It was a bit repetitive at times. The story resolution happens kinda fast, but at least it's not wasting the readers time.

First book of the booklog read.

The Three Body Problem – Liu Cixin

Very enjoyable read. The story was very original, and the way the author incorporated the game into his story was cool. I think that was a really interesting and engaging way to introduced the three body problem and the trisolary civilisation. I had been talking to Shrey who remarked that the characters were a bit 1D (way to throw him under the bus), with only Wei Wenjie getting some love, but I think it's fine for that type of story. It was certainly a breath of fresh air after reading Katabasis — since I read the bookclub books on the train, it was nice not to have to pull up my phone every paragraph because something stupid or incoherent happened in the book. The characterisation of physics was generally alright, although the “physics doesn't exist” thing at the beginning made literally no sense. (shows bit of a misunderstanding of physics too, the most exciting time in physics is when measurements don't match expectations) The book quality kinda drops off a bit at the end, and I found the Trisolary POV we get from the other messages kinda incoherent. Thankfully we're saved with my favourite line in the book:

“YOU ARE BUGS“

how to – Randall Munroe

DNF

First DNF of the year, but to be fair, I stopped reading it around November last year, but kept lying to myself that I would “pick it back up again later”. The book is fine. The only reason that I stopped is it's like quirky science, with calculations and stuff that are supposed to wow people not very well versed in sciences, but are kinda all just very simple first year course “fun” problems. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it's engaging science vulgarisation, but I'm just really not the target audience. It's also a bit too “internet quirky” for me. The stick figure illustrations are a nice addition.

Au Coeur de la Forêt – Many Authors

Also a book of the booklog. A little collection of stories centred around the forest.

It was a really nice read, and also very french but in the real sense of the term, it felt very regular french life, not whatever parisian romantic fantasy people mean when saying french. It was also a nice little mix with a bunch of stuff, some more regular stuff, some SF, some more poetic stuff. Made me kinda yearn having a forest nearby, and not some shitty grove, and actual forest where you can explore and get lost in.

Fire Punch (Volume 1-8) – Fujimoto

From the booklog. The world is experiencing another ice age, and some people have powers. Agni his sister and the village are trying to survive.

PEAK. It's easily in my top 2 manga series ever. I had started reading it when it came out in France, around 2017, which also the time I set off to Canada. I therefore had the chance to buy the first 5 volumes and completely forgot about it afterwards, until I went back to France in 2023 and grabbed the rest.

While the first volume is maybe a bit immature in some aspects, the rest of the manga is absolutely fantastic. There is a ton going on at all time, the story never gets comfortable and always pivots in an interesting way. The drawings are awesome, the themes fantastic, and we even get trans representation, which is way ahead of its time when it was written. It's also nice and short, no dragging anything for the sake of making more money or whatever, my man had something to say, his art and story telling is focused, and he got what he needed to off his chest. Absolute masterpiece.

The Last Wish, Sword of Destiny, Blood of Elves, The Time of Contempt – Andrzej Sapkowski

(Book 1-4 of the Witcher Series)

All books from the booklog. It took me a while to get into the Witcher III (a video game), but once I did, I found the lore and setting very interesting. I then saw the first season of the show, which was alright. The later seasons were ass, and so I turned to the books. I had heard that the books were super sexist though so I was a bit apprehensive. For books that were written in the 80 and 90's in Poland, they could have been so much worse. I think the main complaints I would have is the very male gazey tone the books have, how a lot of women are described by their looks and have their degree of promiscuity be a character trait, when it is totally absent for men. I also find it a bit odd how every single hot lady is infatuated with Geralt at first sight, our main protagonist, even if he is described in the book as a bit repulsive due to the witcher mutations. Women are overall written as smart, powerful and competent in the book, but that doesn't absolve it of the aforementioned.

I do have to share something I read on the forums though: in the book, there is a part in which, after vigorous fighting, the seam of the dress of one of the womanly protagonist rips a bit, and you can see a bit of her “shapely breast”. One of the poster, to reinforce their point about the male gaze in the book, asked if you could imagine the same thing happening to Geralt and the writer saying that through the crack in his pants, his “pert penis” was revealed. The book would have been 100% better if stuff like that happened to the male characters too though.

Putting the books back in their historical and cultural context, and going beyond this more modern analysis, we have very good fantasy books. I was pleasantly surprised at how well the world and its political canvas are detailed, and how rich and “alive” a world is presented here. There are some very interesting themes of colonialism, neutrality and moralism, and our protagonist Geralt does engage with all of those, they are not just things happening in the background. I also liked that Geralt, although undeniably being very capable, also gets a lot of things wrong and we are shown a lot of vulnerable sides of him, he's not just “hard strong brooding man/killing machine with no emotion”. The first two books are a collection of novellas about Geralt, and the later are full length stories. I think the short stories do a great job introducing us the witcher and his world, and it is definitely necessary as without those, following all the political stuff in the later book would have been complicated (and frankly not that engaging). The novellas also allow the author to jump around the timeline, without needing to fill all the blanks. Very enjoyable so far, my only complaint would be that with the later books, we are kinda ditching the usual witcher-monster slaying aspect of the story, with all the investigating and lore that follows, which I quite enjoyed

So far I'm at 14/60 books in the booklog, and at 3259/19886 pages. I do not expect to keep up this pace as a bunch of books of this booklog are about philosophy or sociology, which are not as quickly readable (unless I just read the words without parsing through their meaning). In any case, I'll catch you next month.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

Godzilla Minus One

I have seen this movie thrice now, and the more I watch it, the less I like it. I know it's a heresy in the Godzilla community to not like this movie, but it is what it is. The first time I saw it in the theatres, I already had given it a fairly positive albeit luke-warm review. With the novelty wearing out, it's just less appealing of a movie to me.

The acting's over the topness, is a bit more jarring with each rewatch, and some of the scenes are so dramatic and over the top that it stretches the limits of believability. The choppy pace is more visible and disruptive. The way godzilla moves is also super robotic which doesn't really makes sense with his design. Overall, I don't find this Godzilla (the monster) that internally consistent; why does it just go back to the sea after having destroy Ginza and come back? Why not just continue until all of Tokyo is rased?

Another fault in the movie, which is the movie actually is blameless about, is that it was released after Shin Godzilla. We had already seen a godzilla vs japan with Shin. The only differentiating part is the post-WWII setting, and I don't think they did anything super-duper interesting with that godzilla-wise. We need the new Toho Godzillas to fight other monsters, it's like half of the appeal of the Godzilla franchise. Godzilla Minus Zero (yes it's the official title of the sequel) better have another monster. We have not seen any takes from Toho on the classic Godzilla enemies since the release of Godzilla Final Wars in 2004!

On the character front, I wouldn't have minded a bit more character development, and more development in the characters' relationships.

Despite all of my complaining, it's still undeniably a good movie. The above is just the flaws that get exacerbated on multiple rewatches. All the good things I said about the movie in my previous review stand.

Previous, slightly edited, review right after seeing it in the theatres in 2023:

Not quite sure if I would call it kino, but it's a good movie. However clumsy, Shin Godzilla still has more merit to the Toho kino crown.  This last movie however does not have to blush on the theme fronts, and addresses some pretty interesting ones, due to it being set right after WWII. Those themes are also pretty original — at least from a westoïd perspective. Acting is a bit over the tops as expected, but it's not so jarring that it takes you out of the plot. Speaking of plot, the human section is not only decent, but actually interesting, I was actually made to care about the different characters. I even managed to be fooled: the ultimate plot twist is setup in a really obvious manner and I saw it coming a mile away. Or did I? Well yes, but actually no. [SPOILER] The outcome is the same, but the process was different and much better for two character arcs. [SPOILER] On the monster side, we stick to the classics; simple but effective. Godzilla's design works, and his breath attack is fucking dope, it's honesty 90% as hype as that bomb in the star wars prequelle (yk what I'm talking about). Now on to the negative; CGI can be a bit hit or miss, I thought japan had caught up as I was pleasantly surprised with Shin Godzilla's offering. There was really only one scene where I was like “wow that's rough”. And although they are not awful, the water effects/interactions with Godzilla is nowhere near what we saw in the recent Godzilla vs King Kong, which water effect really impressed me at the time. [SPOILER] Finally, other than the ending, there is only one Godzilla mass destruction scene, which at the very least one too little. [SPOILER] Cinematography was good, but nothing spectacular jumped at me. The music is pretty good here, but it mostly sticks with the classic safe vibe for Godzilla tracks. No iconic “Who will know” or “Persecution of the Masses” here. Overall this movie does everything well, and even some things great. As far as Godzilla movies go, it's at the top of the basket for me.

Amadeus

I have seen this movie easily 20-30times, and two thirds of those were during one summer. When I was a kid, during the summer vacations, my family used to drive to the italian alps, and we would usually spend almost a month on top of one of the mountain there. Our time was mostly filled with hikes, at a rhythm of one every 2-3 days. There was no internet, and with this being in the german speaking part of the italian part of the alps (you've read this correctly), cable was all but understandable to us. Therefore, we would usually bring a DVD player and only a couple of DVDs, that we would watch on repeat for the month, to the delight of my parents, I'm sure. One summer, we brought Amadeus and Big Fish. We've watched both almost every day. I haven't really watched or thought about it since, easily 12-13 years ago, but when Nick mentioned it a couple month ago, my memories of it suddenly resurfaced.

This movie is absolutely goated. What a fine choice for us to have a hyperfixation on that summer. The music is just bangers after bangers after banger, the sets look awesome, the costumes look awesome. The performances are amazing and the story great. I loved Salieri, what a portrayal of the pure essence of a hater. I also loved how somehow he would get super lucky with stuff happening in the movie, and would immediately incorporate that lucky stuff in his despicable schemes.

If I had to find one fault with the movie and the 4k remaster, it's that the audio dynamics is too wide; if you turn up the volume to hear the dialogues, the music will be blasting, and if you turn down the volume because of the music, you will not hear any of the dialogues.

Bladerunner

I had watched Bladerunner once before, the director's cut, and I thought it was good. Upon rewatch while I appreciate how maybe ground-breaking it was at the time, I found it a bit timid. While the cinematography is great, in terms of story, it's actually pretty generic. It is also very dated. The very young 20 year old ending up with the 40 year old dude for ? reason. Don't forget the sexual assault and coercion scene. The dialogue also feels pretty dated, honestly everything that relates to characters interacting with each other or being on screen. It feels pretty jarring for a movie set in the distant future of *checks notes* the year 2019 to feel that old in this regard.

Loved the eye replicant effect, and the ending monologue. The themes are still relevant and fairly well explored. I do not understand the debate around Deckard being a replicant or not, and people acting as if Deckard not being a human ruins the movie. I went into the movie thinking Deckard was a replicant and I found nothing in my viewing that contradicted that. Also I find that Deckard being a replicant is better in terms of narrative than him being a human, as otherwise it such a generic message of “actually the robots are more human than the humans themselves!!1!!!!1!”.

Please crucify me now.

Bladerunner 2049

I'd tried to watch Bladerunner 2049 already and didn't even make it halfway through (to be fair it was in the plane a couple of years ago). I don't know what happened then, because this movie is awesome. I did get baited by the “of course the main character is the chosen one that everybody wants to get their hands on” and liked the switcheroo.

Colours and visuals, everything was great — Denis was really just getting his tools ready for Dune. There are so many interesting an beautiful shots. The themes are very interesting and I did love Ryan Gosling as the main protagonist. His relationship with his AI chatbot girl is very reminiscent of the movie “Her” (I've never seen it). I found his investigation more engaging and easier to follow that Deckard's. The only main negative point of the movie is that they dragged Harrison Ford from wherever he was to play in this movie, and he doesn't want to. Hell, even in the first one he looked like he didn't want to be there. Leave grandpa alone.

Shin Godzilla x2

“surprisingly engaging” – Elisa “oh, the SDF is still called the SDF?” – Bennet “damn, if I ever get a girlfriend that looks like her [talking about japanese lead actress], you know I'm compromised” – Spencer

I saw Shin Godzilla twice in November, first when I received the 4k blu-ray, and then 4 days later because Spencer wanted to see it, and so we watched it all together with Tetyana, Elisa, Bennet and Spencer.

I still loved it as much, it looks awesome although the VFX does look a bit rough until Godzilla gets to its fourth form. There's also a minor pacing issue with the movie, with the tension building all the way up and then releasing, but we still have a quarter of the movie left. Here's a professional rendition of the tension:

Bennet did point out something that is very apparent, but I had just glanced over during my viewing, which is the amount of SDF (the japanese army) dickriding. The movie showcase all the cool toys that the army has, they make plans to stop Godzilla and are disciplined, risk their lives... It is very obvious, but I think I missed it because I'm used to ignoring the amount of military propaganda in us movies, which is omnipresent.

The deleted scenes + outtakes were really cool to have, another win for the owners of physical media. I already talked about this movie in Kino Nights in/above Canada so I won't really say more.

Dune

Peak. Denis Villeneuve my goat. Looks awesome, sounds awesome.

This is the end of the previous article, and I didn't really watch any more movies (other than the Grinch which I had already seen a handful of times), but here they are:

Frankenstein

Designs and shit interesting, cinematography not super interesting, especially the lighting which I found bland. I don't think the story was an improvement on Mary Shelley's work which I had read recently. Dialogues were ok. The wolf scene was awesome on its own but is super inconsistent with the tone and vibe of the movie. Kinda disappointed overall

On to the main course:

Wake Up Dead Man

I had already said I liked glass onion better than knives out in a previous movie article Kino Nights in/above Canada. After seeing this, I just posted my ranking of the knives out movies, from my favourite to my least favourite. I didn't expect it to stir that many reactions. Here's a chronological retelling of the events that happened between the evening of Feb 2nd and the morning of Feb 3rd:

21:20:45 – I finish Wake Up Dead Man with Tetyana, I turn to her and tell her “it's my least favourite out of the three movies, like it's not bad, but I liked the others more”

21:26:18 – I make this post on the cafe, with my ranking of the Knives Out movies, from my favourite to least favourite:

21:41:46 – Kaitlyn reacts to the post and posts her own ranking:

22:04:29 – Alex replies to the original post with the correct ranking, so far none of the rankings are the same:

22:06:03 – Elisa reacts to the post and asks if we can't all agree that the movies are all good (I think we all agree about that, but we each have our favourite):

22:07:38 – Bennet Blanc sets up a trap, replying to Kaitlyn's comment:

22:20:38 – Kaitlyn adds some cheese to the trap by replying to Bennet Blanc's post:

23:39:19 – Nick reacts to the post and accuses my original post of being stinky “french cheese” bait (the fool, does he not know that a cheese's taste is inversely proportional to its stench?)

8:13:35 – Spencer reacts to the post

8:32:52 – Noah reacts and replies to the post with the sanest reply of all:

15:06:06 – Jaeg reacts and replies to the post also accusing it to be bait:

[in an american southern accent, with infinite drip] We now have all the pieces of the puzzle... but I do not know yet who they fit together... Actually, I don't think there's even a puzzle at all here, there's no mystery... or maybe, the mystery was the friends we lost along the way...

Are my preferences so abhorrent that the expression of my taste has to be “bait”? Also what does that mean, how can it be bait? What would I be baiting? For people to give me their ranking of favourite to least favourite Knives Out movies? oh no fostering conversation on the cafe. I'm crashing out rn, I'm a tax-paying card-carrying citizen of crashout city and I wear it on my sleeves. Was accusing me of bait a bait in itself? If so, I have pushed away the little stick holding the trap open, let the box fall and I'm comfy in my little wooden enclosure, delecting myself with 'stinky french' cheese.

Alrighty, dramatic crash out out of the way, I'll briefly explain why I like this movie less than the other entries in the franchise.

I thought the mystery was way less fun than the previous two movies and more random. The story was better in the beginning than both movies, but the way it's told less interesting than in the second movie. In terms of setting, I also found it less appealing than the second movie, but better than the first (the third and first are extremely similar to me). I thought the secondary characters were super underdeveloped here, where they had been pretty well fleshed out in the second movie after being inexistent in the first. The main “main characters” were really excellent here (the priest and monsignor) but I lament the fact that I cannot count Benoît Blanc amongst them. Benoît Blanc being less present and having little agency was something they had addressed in the second movie but they seem to have sinned again here. The main antagonist kinda sucks and her motivations also suck. The secondary antagonists also suck. The cinematography is good, more mature than first one and better than the second one. The costumes and outfits were way less fun here.

My vision of the Knives out movies is as good movies that are really fun, like Bullet Train which I found awesome (although the Knives Outs are definitely more restrained). I think this one took itself a bit too seriously, and could not have topped how fun the second one is. And this is why my favourite Knives Out Movie is the second one despite its ending, my second favourite the first one due to its charm, and my least favourite one this third one.

I hope you have had as much fun reading this crash out as I have had writing it. Please do remember that it's not that deep.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

This month I read 5 ebooks and 1 eaudiobook from the library, and 2 epubs, totaling to 8 books.

The numbers as they stand as of January 2026:

Total Reading Goal: 8/100 Canada Reads: 1/5 (when the 2026 Canada reads were announced I was delighted to find out that I’ve actually already read one of them; you cannot imagine how smug I feel). Nonfiction Goal: 0/12 TPL Reading Challenge: ?/? [It hasn’t yet been announced]

Dishonourable Mentions:

Antimatter Blues by Edward Ashton (Mickey7 #2)

Synopsis: Summer has come to Niflheim. The lichens are growing, the six-winged bat-things are chirping, and much to his own surprise, Mickey Barnes is still alive―that last part thanks almost entirely to the fact that Commander Marshall believes that the colony’s creeper neighbors are holding an antimatter bomb, and that Mickey is the only one who’s keeping them from using it. Mickey’s just another colonist now. Instead of cleaning out the reactor core, he spends his time these days cleaning out the rabbit hutches. It’s not a bad life.

It’s not going to last.

It may be sunny now, but winter is coming. The antimatter that fuels the colony is running low, and Marshall wants his bomb back. If Mickey agrees to retrieve it, he’ll be giving up the only thing that’s kept his head off of the chopping block. If he refuses, he might doom the entire colony. Meanwhile, the creepers have their own worries, and they’re not going to surrender the bomb without getting something in return. Once again, Mickey finds the fate of two species resting in his hands. If something goes wrong this time, though, he won’t be coming back.

My thoughts: Because of the recently released movie, I read the first book in the series (Mickey7 aka Mickey17), and thought it was pretty okay, if rather short. So I picked up the next book to try it. Reader, I forgot how much Mickey’s life just sucks. He has no job, slashed rations, his boss hates him, his friends and girlfriend don’t particularly seem to like him, and he is perpetually on the verge of contractually-obligated death. Even worse, he’s not a particularly compelling character to read about. I won’t say that he has zero agency, but he doesn’t have all that much, and I just don’t find him a particularly enjoyable character to read about. Every year I try to give myself permission to DNF more books, and maybe this is the year I listen to myself.

You might like this book if: your life also sucks so much and you kind of also suck

The Real Reviews

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

Synopsis: “Poppy and Alex. Alex and Poppy. They have nothing in common. She's a wild child; he wears khakis. She has insatiable wanderlust; he prefers to stay home with a book. And somehow, ever since a fateful car share home from college many years ago, they are the very best of friends. For most of the year they live far apart—she's in New York City, and he's in their small hometown—but every summer, for a decade, they have taken one glorious week of vacation together.

Until two years ago, when they ruined everything. They haven't spoken since.

Poppy has everything she should want, but she's stuck in a rut. When someone asks when she was last truly happy, she knows, without a doubt, it was on that ill-fated, final trip with Alex. And so, she decides to convince her best friend to take one more vacation together—lay everything on the table, make it all right. Miraculously, he agrees.

Now she has a week to fix everything. If only she can get around the one big truth that has always stood quietly in the middle of their seemingly perfect relationship. What could possibly go wrong?”

My thoughts: Starting the year off strong! I have actually read this book before but it was before I started writing Reading Roundups or using Storygraph, so I’m not going to count it as a re-read. I also didn’t remember much about this book at all, so I kind of did feel like I was reading it for the first time. And I had to suffer through the whole movie, meaning that I’ve earned the right to include it on my list of the year. This book was both better and worse than I remembered. Better, because the friendship between Poppy and Alex had a solid foundation, and their friendship was very strong and full of yearning. Worse, because the third act conflict felt so shoehorned into the very end. Alex confronts Poppy about only being able to commit to him when they’re on vacation, and not willing to do so during real life. Because he said this right before he got on a plane (without Poppy) they immediately had to separate and were not really able to talk about this. I also think that Alex was kind of unfair, because at this point their issue was more that they would have been in a long distance relationship, instead of a relationship where one partner has commitment issues. I also think it was clear that Poppy was genuinely unhappy with her life and was looking to make a real change; she obviously was not attracted to Alex just because they were on vacation. Overall the book was charming, and I appreciated it.

Rating: 4/5 stone bear statues that cost $21 000 but really “speak to me”

Peace Talks (Dresden Files #16) by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: When the Supernatural nations of the world meet up to negotiate an end to ongoing hostilities, Harry Dresden, Chicago’s only professional wizard, joins the White Council’s security team to make sure the talks stay civil. But when his brother Thomas, a white court vampire, is caught trying to assassinate the leader of the Svartalves, Harry is torn between shifting alliances. If he doesn’t rescue Thomas, his brother will be rightfully executed. But if he does, he will have betrayed the Svartalves, whom he greatly depends on, and are fellow signatories of the Accords.

My thoughts: Another year, another book in the Dresden files. OG readers of this blog will remember when Bennet and I started reading this series back in 2023. 16 books later, and we are still not done. This book in particular was not one of my favourites. It wasn’t bad, per say, but it did have strong “nothing ever happens” energy. We didn’t even get to the actual peace talks, which ostensibly should be the most important part of the book, since it’s the literal title, because Harry was too busy faffing around and also dealing with Thomas. We don’t know why Thomas acted so out of character and attempted the assassination in the first place. When Thomas finally was rescued, the peace talks were just about to begin when they were completely interrupted by the titan Ethniu, who will destroy the entire city of Chicago if all of the Accord signatories don’t immediately ally with her. Obviously they don’t, and then everyone starts planning on how to save the city (which I will admit that I loved), and then the book ended. Even with all of my complaints, I think it’s really cool how at this point in the series, everything is about the long game. The entire plot of the previous book, Skin Game, was to acquire an artifact that will likely have critical importance for the next book, Battle Ground. I have already started to read Battle Ground, and I am somewhat enjoying it, but I will be glad when we have made it to the end of this marathon. An 18 book series (with more still to be published) is a challenge even for someone like your girl.

Rating: 4/5 bad cases of conjuritis (I thought only teenagers got conjuritis)

The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association by Caitlyn Rozakis

Synopsis: When Vivian’s kindergartner, Aria, gets bitten by a werewolf, she is rapidly inducted into the hidden community of magical schools. Reeling from their sudden move, Vivian finds herself having to pick the right sacrificial dagger for Aria, keep stocked up on chew toys and play PTA politics with sirens and chthonic nymphs and people who literally can set her hair on fire.

As Vivian careens from hellhounds in the school corridors and demons at the talent show, she races to keep up with all the arcane secrets of her new society – shops only accessible by magic portal, the brutal Trials to enter high school, and the eternal inferno that is the parents’ WhatsApp group.

And looming over everything is a prophecy of doom that sounds suspiciously like it’s about Aria. Vivian might be facing the end of days, just as soon as she can get her daughter dressed and out of the door…

My thoughts: This was a cute book. I wouldn’t say that it was cozy, but it was certainly cozy-adjacent. Even though it’s set in a fantasy town, it’s mostly about Vivian’s struggles to solo parent her daughter (while her husband works long hours in the city) and adapt to the new society as a mortal who knows nothing about it. I think it could be a good metaphor for families that have children with disabilities, or immigrant ESL families, both of whom often struggle to navigate systems and new cultural norms. (It should be noted that the book is actually poking fun at exclusive private schools, and their overly-rigerous admission policies). Vivian and her husband were able to talk everything out at the end, which was good, and the overall story had a happy ending, which was great. I didn’t actually mind the toxic interpersonal dynamics of Vivian’s “friends” (whom she rightly later abandons), but the whole prophecy plotline felt so cliche, so I’m glad the book poked fun at the trope a bit.

Rating: 3/5 science fair projects that no one would rightly believe that a kindergartener could do by themselves.

The Running Man by Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman

Synopsis: It was the ultimate death game in a nightmare future America. The year is 2025 and reality TV has grown to the point where people are willing to wager their lives for a chance at a billion-dollar jackpot. Ben Richards is desperate—he needs money to treat his daughter’s illness. His last chance is entering a game show called The Running Man where the goal is to avoid capture by Hunters who are employed to kill him. Surviving this month-long chase is another issue when everyone else on the planet is watching—and willing to turn him in for the reward.

Each night all Americans tune in to watch. So far, the record for survival is only eight days. Can Ben Richards beat the brutal odds, beat the rigged game, beat the entire savage system? He’s betting his life that he can…

My thoughts: I thought this book was great. It was a dystopia that felt very possible, and the fact that it took place in 2025 had me a bit nervous. I initially picked this up because a movie adaptation was released recently, and I wanted to see what all of the fuss is about. I don’t think I will watch the movie because I’m not a fan of the plot changes that they made, since I actually really like how the book was structured, as well as how it ended quite poetically. Just another thing that is different in a post-9/11 world. A very gritty read, but I would recommend it.

Rating: 4/5 free-vees that are always on… because they’re free…

The Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu

Synopsis: This book defies description, so I won’t even try.

My thoughts: I already said this at book club. TLDR; I didn’t really like it, but if we had read it in the original Chinese it probably would have slapped at least a bit more.

Rating: 3/5 film photos with numbers counting down along the edges in a sinister way (this never comes up again btw)

The Oxford Soju Club by Jinwoo Park

Synopsis: When North Korean spymaster Doha Kim is mysteriously killed in Oxford, his protege, Yohan Kim, chases the only breadcrumb given to him in Doha’s last breath: “Soju Club, Dr. Ryu.” In the meantime, a Korean American CIA agent , Yunah Choi, races to salvage her investigation of the North Korean spy cell in the aftermath of the assassination. At the centre of it all is the Soju Club, the only Korean restaurant in Oxford, owned by Jihoon Lim, an immigrant from Seoul in search of a new life after suffering a tragedy. As different factions move in with their own agendas, their fates become entangled, resulting in a bitter struggle that will determine whose truth will triumph. Oxford Soju Club weaves a tale of how immigrants in the Korean diaspora are forced to create identities to survive, and how in the end, they must shed those masks and seek their true selves.

My thoughts: I thought this book was cool conceptually, but I found the pacing to be super weird. It felt like the book ended very abruptly, and I was expecting a lot more to happen. I appreciated how the author structured the chapters; each one was divided into three parts, and covered both the current action and a flashback scene for a specific character. Instead of being specifically named, the sections were called “The Northerner/The Southerner/The American” and then they later switch to “The Exiled/[two more things that I don’t remember ahhh]. It was a really cool exploration of Korean identity, and what it means to be Korean. Despite all of the action, I did find it to be a bit slow (I get that stuff was happening but I just wasn’t super engaged in it, if that makes sense).

Rating: 3/5 bottles of soju that have exactly seven shots, because you can’t ever evenly share it so you’ll always have to order another bottle

Original Sins by Erin Young (Riley Fisher #2)

Synopsis: It's a brutal winter in Des Moines, Iowa, and the city is gripped by fear. A serial attacker known as the Sin Eater is stalking women and has just struck again. It's a tough time and a tough place for Riley Fisher, a former small-town sergeant, to be reporting for duty as an FBI agent on her first assignment.

Teamed with a man she's not sure she can trust and struggling to prove herself – while fighting the pull of her old life and family dramas – Riley is tasked with investigating a vicious death threat against the newly elected female state governor. Gradually, she traces a disturbing connection between this case and the hunt for the Sin Eater. Through snow, ice, violence and lies, Riley Fisher is drawn towards a terrifying revelation.

My thoughts: I picked up this book because I was specifically looking for a dark, psychological thriller about serial killers. In effect, I wanted to read a book that felt exactly like an episode of Criminal Minds. Because of this specific craving, I just picked up the first book that really felt like it matched that vibe, meaning that I accidentally picked up the second book in a series. I ultimately decided not to pivot towards the first book just because it didn’t quite fit the bill, and I suspected I wouldn’t be interested enough to bother completing the series (I was right). Original Sins itself was okay, pretty decent for what I was looking for, but not something I would go back to again. It’s set during mid COVID which makes it feel pretty dated. A large part of the book was framed in terms of feminism/violence against women, and I won’t say that it was out of place or jarring, but it felt strange in a way that I can’t put my finger on. I did think that the serial killer POV was well done, because it still left surprises to uncover as the book went on.

Rating: 3/5 old fashioned hotel key tags that were deliberately planted at the scene of the crime…

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

Synopsis: Amina al-Sirafi should be content. After a storied and scandalous career as one of the Indian Ocean’s most notorious pirates, she’s survived backstabbing rogues, vengeful merchant princes, several husbands, and one actual demon to retire peacefully with her family to a life of piety, motherhood, and absolutely nothing that hints of the supernatural.

But when she’s tracked down by the obscenely wealthy mother of a former crewman, she’s offered a job no bandit could refuse: retrieve her comrade’s kidnapped daughter for a kingly sum. The chance to have one last adventure with her crew, do right by an old friend, and win a fortune that will secure her family’s future forever? It seems like such an obvious choice that it must be God’s will.

Yet the deeper Amina dives, the more it becomes alarmingly clear there’s more to this job, and the girl’s disappearance, than she was led to believe. For there’s always risk in wanting to become a legend, to seize one last chance at glory, to savor just a bit more power…and the price might be your very soul.

My thoughts: I am definitely glad that I picked up this book. It was an epic pirate adventure tale, complete with fantasy and magical artifacts (but not in a way that felt forced). I think the setting and the placement of the book was really interesting: the characters travelled around the medieval Arabian sea, and stopped in a variety of countries, including Somalia and Yemen. The main character Amina al-Sirafi is a Yemeni Muslim, but the characters around her represent a huge swath of cultures and religions, and it made for a very rich setting. The book is also stylized as a scribe copying down Amina’s adventures as she was telling them, and the interactions between Amina and the scribe, as well as the scribe’s own interjections, were pretty funny. I think the author could have leaned on the scribe even a bit more. This book is long and it definitely feels long just because so much is happening; it was shocked when we had reached what seemed to be the main destination of the final climax and the book was barely 50% finished. The author seems to have set herself up for a quintology, although I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a paradigm change and the pacing ends up being very different. I will, however, definitely be looking out for book 2 when it drops later this spring.

Rating: 4/5 humanoid parrot creatures that are obsessed with order, law, and justice (in that order)

In light of Eddie's recent printhouse contribution I've been inspired to take a slightly more structured approach to which games I play. The most notable difference is jotting down my thoughts as soon as I finish one and cataloguing it somewhere. I've been doing this for the last few games I've played recently, and I figured it would also be fitting to write up my thoughts more clearly here for everyone to enjoy. I haven't played these games entirely in this month, but I have finished them all this month.

(Amusingly, while the article in question I was referencing is no longer recent, the current most recent Eddie article, “The Humble Purge Awards”, did also spurn me back to this unfinished article. Having held off on posting this for a while I can kind of write a dialogue with myself from last year. I didn't really end up keeping with the cataloguing habit, though I do still sort of have a backlog thingy floating in my notes. I am not adhering to it as much as I am just jotting things down so I can check them out later.)

Each of these function as sort of mini reviews. As much as I wish I could be as precise and eloquent as Jimmy McGee, I at least hope that they are interesting to read. The last time I did a big list of games type article I got the impression that it gets kinda grating after a while, so I've included links for you to jump to different sections. Feel free to break up reading this into little chunks.

(Something I touch on here that I think I still struggle with here is how I don't really have a lot of confidence in my writing. I compare myself to probably one of the best video game analysts I have ever seen and lament that my work will probably not match his quality. I think there's also an element of shame in the fact that I struggle to write at length on subjects that aren't video games, and my target of comparison here also does generally centre his work around the same topic. However, in his case he executes his ideas so well they often are profound in a way that applies to more than 'just video games'. Even a year later I don't think these feelings about myself have changed very much.)

Jump to section:

• Portal 2
• Portal Stories: Mel
• Felvidek
• Laika: Aged Through Blood
• Venba

Portal 2

You play as Chell, a woman trapped indefinitely inside a deep underground scientific facility known as “Aperture Science”. You're awakened by Wheatley, a stupid, British, spherical robot who presents himself as your only ticket to escape this withering and decaying complex. Armed with a gun that can create portals you might find a way out to your freedom.

One of the all time greats, played most of it through in 2016 but never rolled credits on it for some reason. There are many games I've started but never finished, but I felt as though this one was the worst offender. I'm glad I did get back to it though because despite over a decade of technological and artistic advancements in the games industry there still isn't anything quite like it.

To analyze each aspect of this game on its own would be doing a disservice. While each pillar of this game supports this experience very strongly, I truly believe the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. While I could talk at length about each part, the point that should not go overlooked is the writing. It's rare that a game has an actually engaging cast of characters, but it's clear that Valve stands head and shoulders above the competition in terms of writing dialogue that you actually want to listen to. They knew this very well, as more often than not your reward for completing a puzzle is getting to listen to the characters react either to you or the situation at hand. These exaggerated characters in this ridiculous story is truly a treat, and becomes the ribbon that ties every aspect of this game into a nice present.

🌔🌔🌔🌔🌔

(I don't think I have much more I want to add to many of these game reviews themselves. I haven't played any of these games again so the only thing that might change is just what I remember about them one year later. It's interesting that the first game on this list connects to the idea of returning to unfinished business. The parallel here is purely coincidental but kind of poetic the way that lined up.)

Portal Stories: Mel

As great as Portal 2 was, taking a massive break halfway into the game only to finish it years later left me wanting more. Not to fear however, as Portal 2 is also known for its fully featured community created mods which often act as substitute campaigns. With new sets of levels, sometimes new mechanics, new voice acted characters, and the best of them wrap it all in an original story to boot. All of this (usually) available at the price of free! The biggest challenge mods like these would face however is a comparison to the game they derive themselves from, can a mod truly match or surpass the base Portal 2 experience?

Not quite but it is shockingly close. As a community made mod available for free I will lightly acknowledge its shortcomings and celebrate its achievements. The art and music was very good, the portal gun redesign really sets it apart as its own experience while still maintaining the visual language cultivated in the original game, I especially like the little paperclip on one of the prongs.

I also quite enjoyed the levels. That being said, I came out of this mod with a much greater appreciation of Valve's game development philosophy of extremely thorough playtesting. The level of challenge was an upward slope, which in theory is what you want but in practice it becomes pretty grueling towards the end as you do several hard puzzles in succession. There was also a spot early on where you would get softlocked if you messed a puzzle up which was quite frustrating.

The story and voice acting was fine enough. I can't really blame them for not matching Valve's excellent writing team but credit where credit is due, I didn't hate it. I actually quite liked the new antagonist and especially the final boss fight against it. It was quite creative and was definitely more fun than Portal 1's boss fight.

Despite a couple rough patches, I still found myself repeatedly coming back to this mod, which is definitely an indication of its quality. Fundamentally it filled the exact niche I wanted it to, a little more Portal 2 for me to enjoy.

⚛️⚛️⚛️

(What's intriguing here is the way that Portal Mel stacks up against Portal 2 kinda mirrors how I stack up against my own standards in terms of writing. I acknowledge the shortcomings of the mod, but I also note that it isn't realistic to expect it to be a real competitor given the difference between all of Valve software, and a couple modders. I don't really show myself that same level of consideration it seems...)

Felvidek

You play as Pavol, an alcoholic knight in 15th Century Slovakia. Your drunk ass is dragged around by your local Catholic priest Matej as you both are tasked by the local lord to make sure the region is free from Ottoman presence. Hopefully on the way you find your wife who walked off at some point because you were drinking too much.

I often recommend games to another printhouse reader, some of them have managed to make their way to his personal favourites. It's not often that this goes the other way, but if any game deserves to be highlighted it's this one.

I'm not typically a fan of JRPGs, but I'm not completely averse to the genre. A couple of years ago I stumbled on a quirky, short little game called Hylics with a very unique presentation. While Felvidek bears many surface level similarities to Hylics, it doesn't feel like a hollow clone in the slightest. Visually the game does a lot with a little, the limited colour palette, chunky pixels and large sprites giving it this class textbook photocopy vibe. As well as the sporadic low poly cutscene really helps set the unique visual style that this game has.

Part of my enjoyment with the game definitely comes from its intentional deviations from what might be considered the “standard JRPG formula”. Felvidek does away with the typical experience grind found in most RPGs. Your equipment is what determines your strength, and there are only a handful of upgrades. This keeps the game moving through the entire runtime which was very enjoyable. Also unlike many JRPGs which frequently last for tens, if not hundreds of hours, Felvidek is only about 4 hours long. This refreshing brevity is great for getting a nice sampling of the experience without overstaying its welcome.

(I feel the need to note that the concept of 'gear based progression' is not particularly rare in RPGs. It certainly contributes to the short runtime of the game, but it isn't necessarily true to say this is the only game that does this. I am just not very familiar with the genre.)

The biggest strength of this game however is its tone. The world of Felvidek is rather bleak, but the acknowledgement of this is placid. The characters face horrors with a grim smile and a jovial joke, because what else is one to do when faced with things beyond their comprehension? Beneath the Shakespearian prose is a genuinely very funny game that speaks of tragedy and absurdity in the same breath. The scene that best illustrates this is when an otherworldly creature crawls in through Pavol's bedroom window, stirring him from his drunken slumber. His immediate response to seeing this monstrous thing standing over him... is to wordlessly throw the closest empty bottle he has at its head.

🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

(Looking back on this now I think the parts of this game that still stick with me are the slivers of it that references parts of my heritage. There's one joke about how Orthodox priests are able to have wives and children, which I found funny as a Coptic Orthodox christian. There's another running joke about this 'qahwa' craze tearing through this little eastern European land. Something which I immediately clocked in as the Arabic word for 'coffee'. I'll talk more about this at the end, but I have some deep regrets about not tuning into this part of my life more over the last year.)

Laika: Aged Through Blood

(TW: Violence towards children)

You play as Laika, a coyote mother who roams the sandy wastelands on her bone motorcycle and a revolver at her side. When your daughter's best friend, Poochie, is brutally murdered and crucified by the encroaching Bird army, his father, Jakob embarks on a quest for vengeance in retribution for the death of his son. You chase after him because he took your revolver to do it. So begins the spiral of blood and pain as the increasingly militant birds attempt to wipe out you and your tiny band of mammalian survivors.

What first grabbed my attention about this game was its very slick presentation. The world of Laika is beautifully rendered in this dusty yet simultaneously vibrant art style. The lovingly hand-drawn vistas and fully animated characters all come together to form a visual repertoire that is both distinct and very well executed. Interspersed throughout the game are also brief fully animated cutscenes which serve to punctuate specific moments, typically at the end of boss fights. It's clear there has been a lot of thought and care put into the look of this game, and it shows, the aesthetic identity of this game is proudly announced to your eyes, and sticks in my brain.

One I got past the eye candy, the second most prominent aspect of this game is clear. Laika bills itself as a “motorvania” and that's a fairly accurate summarization of the gameplay. When watching trailers of this game I was brought back to playing Trials Evolution on my Xbox 360. What Laika does differently however, is lessen the physics sandbox aspect of a 2d motorbike game and add in a seasoning of twitch reaction gameplay by making it a shooter. The momentum needed to clear jumps coupled with the backflip mechanic that reloads your weapons creates a sandbox where these two disparate mechanics flow beautifully together.

That being said while the game certainly has its “motor” it is somewhat lacking in the “vania”. One would expect a large world to explore gated by progression checks that you would come back later to with enhanced mobility. A typical metroidvania will present walls you can't climb up, or gaps you can't jump across prompting you to come back later when you are stronger and see what you missed. While Laika does do this, there's really only two major gates you are presented with. You pass the first one fairly early in the game, and you pass the second one right before the end. So for roughly 80% of your time with it, you are getting around the same as you were before. Riding around on your motorbike is very enjoyable, so this isn't really the biggest knock against the experience. Though, it does feel like there's something missing when you're given a grappling hook and the only thing you ever use it for is to do a sidequest.

The elements of Laika range from exceptional to middling, but the single biggest detriment I can point to is the boss fights. Laika's combat is highly lethal for the most part, all regular enemies die in one hit, as does Laika herself. That being said, it is only natural for a big hulking enemy to not die in one shot from a pistol. However, these fights are also drawn out further with phases where you can't hit the boss at all. Sometimes this is in the form of a driving section, sometimes it's in the form of you just standing there waiting for the boss to show up again for you to attack them. These things on their own are fine, but in conjunction with the fact that one mistake always sends you back to the very beginning of the fight culminates into a battle that does not test your capabilities in any way other than your patience. I feel like on some level this was known to the developers because the very final boss fight of the game was my favourite largely because its one continuous, fluid battle.

Aside from my nitpicks, the game is really quite good. The soundtrack is another major highlight. The acoustic soundscape and soft vocals contribute heavily to the feeling of this melancholic wasteland. I have caught myself on several occasions humming the vocals from certain tracks like “Trust Them” and “My Destiny”. I've never heard of the artist before but Beícoli absolutely nailed it. I also quite liked the integration of the artist into the game world itself lends a more diegetic tone to the music in the game. Especially how you collect cassette tapes to expand the soundtrack as you play the game. In fact the in-world character that the artist embodies becomes a major thematic plot point in the story of the game.

Speaking of plot, the story of this game was quite shocking, in multiple interpretations of that word. For a game that revolves around cute anthropomorphic characters I was really caught off guard by how grim the story is. Your efforts consistently prove to be futile, and the war that you fight as a single soldier is only very temporarily successful. Moreover, the game also just has really shocking moments. The odd sidequest or story beat has the possibility of just being genuinely awful, but what is one to expect when the game starts the way it did.

I didn't expect to have said as much as I did about this game, but something like this prompts you to recall it in its entirety. I respect the developer's commitment to their artistic vision, but such specialization leaves it with more of a niche appeal. The game definitely isn't for everyone, but I can certainly say that there is nothing else like it.

🦴🦴🦴🦴

(One of my main nitpicks about Laika is that despite being a game where you drive a motorbike, your character's mobility doesn't shift from where it starts for a majority of your playtime. I kinda feel that stagnation in me, I am not really a goal oriented person, but it's hard to shake the feeling that I myself haven't shifted that far from last year. Stuck having done an extra year of a Master's degree. Stuck in Kingston. Stuck having failed to achieve one of the main goals I set for myself at the beginning...)

Venba

You play as Venba, a Tamil woman who moves to Toronto in an attempt to start a new life there with her husband. Follow along as she faces the challenges of immigrating to an unfamiliar place, raises a child and most of all, cooks dinner for her family every night.

Never before have I had a game so perfectly mirror back aspects of my life that even I wasn't fully aware of. While I have never been embarrassed to be Egyptian, I can certainly say that I've had to try and balance wanting to fit in versus connecting to my own culture. The biggest barriers I've faced in trying to find this balance, is my lack of ability to speak my mother tongue. It's no secret that Arabic is a very challenging language to learn, and I've always held onto a slight frustration with my parents for not raising me with the language. The beauty of this game is that you take the perspective from the mother in this dynamic, and it's given me a lot of sympathy for my own parents in the dilemmas that they faced.

Food is a wordless language, which allows it to be expressed and understood universally. Eating a meal from my heritage is like having a conversation with my ancestors. I take great delight in being afforded this opportunity where I otherwise fail with spoken words. I've clung to it as the strongest means of interfacing with my roots. Venba is a cooking game, but in the way that food forges interpersonal connections with friends and family.

(This was all I had written about Venba, not because I didn't have more to say but because I had a lot of difficulty trying to explain the deeply resonating experience of playing this game as a second generation immigrant living in Canada. I was also doubting if anything I would've said would've made sense from an outsider's perspective. Having finished the game I was left with an overwhelming need to attempt to properly connect to my culture and ancestry by trying to mend the bridge that was never properly built in the first place, learning the Arabic language. It was going to be my new year's resolution)

(I have never done a new year's resolution before, and as you might have gathered, it was not very successful. This, in and of itself, isn't particularly bad, but there is another major event that especially twists this knife in me. In my life I never got to meet my grandfathers, they passed before I had the chance. My only remaining grandparents have been my two grandmothers. They are lovely people, but I have always struggled connecting with them primarily due to the language barrier. As a result, I was never particularly close to them. So a secret wish of mine in this new year's resolution I set for myself was to leverage that newfound knowledge to get to know them a little better.)

(They both passed this year, one not long after the other...)

(...)

(I write this in the dwindling hours of Coptic Orthodox Christmas, another fun quirk of my background I hold dear. This was the first one my family has had without them around. I don't really miss them as much as I feel like I should. The unrealized potential of what my bonds to them could have been had I learned Arabic stings more than the actual bonds that I lost. That makes me feel kinda shitty, like I don't actually care for them or something...? I don't know, it's weird.)

(Am I even gonna post this? Or will this addendum be unfinished just like so much of this past year. This article, left to fester in my obsidian notes. Perhaps it will grow like a tumour as I add more to it year on year. Why write this flavoured up image of myself and post it for my friends anyways?? Why do anything at all???)

(Like... it's not like they couldn't speak any English, one of them was decently fluent in it. Is it really worth it to play up that aspect for the sake of dramatics, even if it isn't fully true? )

(I want to be better about finishing things, and maybe that starts here with this weird ass, slightly fictional, self indulgent article...)

(I still want to learn Arabic, if for no other reason than to strengthen the bonds I have with the people who share my culture. But I will have to learn to spend the rest of my life with the regret that I didn't do it soon enough to talk to my grandmothers in our mother tongue. So I will cherish the moments that I was fortunate to get, the broken english conversations, the odd secret 20 dollar bill unbeknownst to my parents and most importantly the delicious meals we got to share.)

However, I forgot how much of a reach this game had, and how uncritically a lot of people go about appreciating some works.

This article obviously contains major spoilers so do not read it if you haven't played and finished Clair Obscur: Expédition 33 (thereinafter referred to as E33). And if you don't care about spoilers, I also forbid you from reading this article because it is a great game with a lot of soul, passion, rawness and vulnerability that you would be doing yourself a disservice not playing. This article will also make no sense if you haven't played an finished the game, and I will make no effort to clarify anything. I'm making this article for myself so really: don't read it.

Why this article

There are four things that made me want to write this article

• The conversation I had with my friend Marco about the game.

Marco and I played the game at about the same time, with him finishing it about a week before I did. Obviously as soon as I finished the game, we talked about it. The first question he asked was about what ending I had chosen, but the way he posed this question told me everything I needed to know. He said: “I hope you picked the only correct ending, right?”. You see, Marco in my eyes is, when it comes to art, a serial bad-takes-haver. And with his propensity to have some reddit-pilled takes as well, I knew not only what his preferred ending was, but also on what grounds he would oppose my decision. I am not on reddit or any social media anymore, but it is so easy to predict the takes that people will have on any piece of media that I responded: “I did choose the only right ending for me, but I don't think we agree on the right ending”. I was correct and so allegations of “being clinically insane”, “smoking crack” and other ad-hominem were thrown from both side, and we had a “healthy” albeit completely unproductive disagreement about the ending, before returning to our honour playthrough of Baldur's Gates 3 where we kidnap children and turn them into unpaid interns.

• The video from Daryl Talks Games

If you have read any of my articles about video games, it will come to no surprise to you that I enjoy the videos from Daryl Talks Games, whose one of my favourite and best video-essayist talking about video games on youtube, with Crimes New Roman. Well Daryl released a video about E33, titled “How Expedition 33 Exposes You”, and I completely disagreed with his characterisation of the world in E33, of the ending, but also of the people who choose the Maëlle ending and their reasons to do so. Honestly, even the rhetorical questions he posed in the video pissed me off. But he is not the only one to have a characterisations of the ending I disagree with...

• The way the game characterises the two endings

If you've finished the game (why would you still be reading this otherwise 🤨) and seen both ending, it is obvious that one is painted as the sad but right ending. Let me be clear, neither endings are portrayed as optimal or even good, but one is clearly softening the blows of its bad parts, while the second has its worst part emphasised. In the Verso ending, every person that Verso erased from the painting is sorta cool with being killed. Maëlle cries a bit but is comforted by Verso and goes in peace. Esquie and Monoko just hug Verso as he erases them without protesting. Sciel has a comforting hand contact with Verso as she withers away, with no protest. Sure, Lune stares at Verso with murder on her mind, but her only form of protest is to sit down. None of them fight, there are no cries, no tears, no rage. It's depicted as sad but necessary. He takes the little piece of (real) Verso's soul (a little boy) and walks into the sunset, setting it to rest. And in the epilogue, we see the Dessendre family around (real) Verso's headstone, finally dealing with the grief cause by his death, and begin to heal, it is a hopeful ending. Credits roll.

In the other hand in Maëlle's ending, as soon as she beats Verso, he collapses on the ground, repeating “Unpaint me, unpaint me, I don't want this life, I don't want this life”, begging to be killed, which is a heart wrenching moment. So super bad vibes here. When we get back to lumière, we have a super brief part where we see a couple of people that Maëlle saved from either Verso erasing them, or her father's previous mass murder. It's only a teeny tiny part of this ending, and straight away things start to feel weird, with Maëlle's smile being unnerving. Verso enters the frame, the picture goes black and white. He is a shell, Maëlle puppets him. Every movement he makes feels like he is dragging himself through life involuntarily. He sits down, his hands tremble. Jumpscare, Maëlle's eyes are fucked up. More depression. Credits roll.

The artistic direction for the endings is not equal, with one clearly being depicted as darker and more wrong. One is bittersweet and trying to make you feel good, the other unnerving and trying to guilt trip you. I disagree this that, even if the intent of the authors was to show us that the Verso ending is the good one, I disagree with this. I don't care what the authors intents were, they are dead and I am now the interpreter of their work.

• The online “discourse”

With the dichotomy of how I felt, and how Daryl, Marco, and the game were telling me I should feel, I thought I might have missed something, so I looked online in the forums and in the youtube comments to see what people's take were. I had forgotten how insanely stupid any form of conversation is on the internet. Everyone was using the most stupid analogies that don't even make sense but because everybody is using them then they feel they don't have to justify their repeated uses either; repeated ad-hominem attack towards people who chose a different ending; straw man; pseudo-realists that see the thing as it really is (right...); removing every single nuance from the topic; oversimplifying everything so much it looses all meaning and interest. It's a fucking cesspool and nobody is actually trying to have interesting conversation.

Both ending can be argued for. I can see anyone with a sane mind choosing one ending over an other. Exploring how people reach the conclusion that they'd rather choose one ending over another is interesting and worthwhile. Trying to portray one as the only someone should choose, and doing armchair psychology on why people who chose X ending actually are immature and if they were more intelligent they would choose the other is stupid and utterly uninteresting.

Making my case

The main deciding factor — that I actually saw very little people talk about — for choosing an ending over an other, is the metaphysical question: “Are the people in the canvas real beings?”.

There is no objective answer to this, and therefore, there is no objective “correct” ending in E33. So, now that we are done stating the obvious, we can get to the interesting part, exploring why I chose one ending over the other.

• I believe the people of the canvas are real

The not-so-hidden central question of the game. The people of the painting/their ancestors were created by the painters. We were shown that they are sentient, can feel and decide for themselves. They do no abide by a set of instructions, an algorithm or anything, as far as we know in the game, everything stems from just regular human biology/a simulation of it. They can be born and reproduce without their/their ancestor's makers intervention, and it doesn't matter if their/their ancestor's maker is dead, they keep on living. They can even affect “real” people in physical ways, like when the mostly painted crew took out Aline and then Renoir, forcing them out of the canvas, or when when painted Verso defeated Maëlle and forced her out of the canvas. They have their own thoughts, fears, aspirations, feelings... This for me would be the description of a real being. That the painters hold the power of live and death over them, or have something akin to reality altering powers in their world (the canvas) doesn't change anything. That the painters can evolve in their own world and also into the canvas doesn't change anything.

The choice then becomes: kill everything and everyone in the canvas to prevent Aline and Alicia from escaping into the canvas to grief, or let the canvas be and Alicia stay for as long as she wants.

I want to talk about perspectives a bit. Even from a bird's eye view I consider the people of the canvas to be real people, let's step into the shoes of the people in the story. I would get the argument that from Renoir, Cléa, Alicia... any of the painters' perspective, the inhabitants of the canvas are not on equal footing and their lives are not comparable to the life of one of the member of the Dessendre family. I understand Renoir's point of view, he'd rather sacrifice everything and everyone in the canvas not to — in his point of view — lose his wife and child. Shifting perspective, the inhabitants of the canvas feel that they are real. They feel themselves and their world as real, the canvas is their reality. It's just that there's another universe outside of their own that also exists. But they would absolutely not want to be erased just because of some discord in the family of their creators in that other universe. I think if we had the gestral, the inhabitants of Lumière and other sentient being take a vote, they would choose not to be erased.

Which brings us to You the player, are you a inhabitant of the canvas, or are you one of the gods of this world? Is it legitimate for you to associate with the Dessendre family? You start in control of Gustave, a painted person, and inhabitant of Lumière and the canvas. You gather another companion, Lune, as a painted person and can switch who you control between the two. Then you get Maëlle, a member of the Dessendre family who lived her live thinking she was a painted person. She is kinda of the bridge between both worlds, the Lisan al-Gaib if you will. The rest of the members of your party afterwards are only painted people. Verso being a painted person, not a god of this world, who was painted to be the dead son of the Dessendre family. It is the portrait of a dead man, but still a painted person. You start the story as an Expeditioner. The frame of reference shift toward the end when you see things more through the eyes of Verso and the narrative focuses more on the Dessendres, but you are still not a god. The only person that has any legitimacy and moral ground destroying the canvas that you can put yourself into as the player is Alicia, and she is the one trying to save it. Verso has no legitimacy destroying it and is just a class traitor. So from a perspective point of view, as a player, you are either a painted person wanting this world to endure, a painter trying to save this world, or painted person trying to end your world. As a player you are therefore not legitimate think of the people of the canvas as not real and disposable, and to destroy the canvas.

• Destroying the canvas is entirely unnecessary

Why is the solution destroying the canvas? The Dessendre dealing with their shit in a healthier way and leaving the canvas and its inhabitants alone is a much better solution. But we are forced to make a choice “life keeps forcing cruel choices”. The fairest choice is Maëlle ending — letting the canvas live, saving the people in it from their previous eradication and having Alicia living in it. How is it the responsibility of the people of the painting that their gods cannot grieve properly? How are they responsible for anything that happens outside of the painting? Why should they have to sacrifice themselves for the possibility of maybe having the Dessendre family dealing with grief a bit better? It does not concern them, they and the player are entirely valid in fighting for their survival. On the other hand, do the painters not have a responsibility towards their creation? They created sentient beings that feel and think and have been hurting them for decades. Using them and deciding to erase them once they become inconvenient is unbecoming. The painters are unworthy of the powers they wield. Destroying the canvas is almost nonsensical. It will not bring Verso back, Aline is already out of it, and there is no indication that Alicia is going to grieve in the same way as her mother, and even if she did, so what? Is she not allowed to choose for herself?

Those are the main crux of my argument. There are some little things here and there that I could talk about, and some of it is just debunking so claims made by the Verso-choosers but I don't think it's that interesting to explore. As you can see there's a big philosophical and even political dimension to explore with the ending of E33. What I've written above is the divagations of someone who care way too much about the ending of a video game. It's not really well put together, but I needed to get it out. This really more of a “I get myself and it's not really the point for anyone else to understand me” kind of article, I ripped that shit in a couple days and there is not going to be a second draft. This is definitely more of a going back to my rambling roots. This entire article was also an excuse to be able to use the word “thereinafter”.

Me getting so invested in a video game should be a testament to how good or at least interesting it is. But you should already know about it since if you've read this article you should have played it. If you have played E33 and would like to discuss the ending I would be more than glad to.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

I completely forgot to write about my readings in November and December, so I guess we'll merge both article and fly through everything. Also I got my Storygraph wrap-up now, so I'll share it as well.

Let the Old Dreams Die – John Ajvide Lindqvist

Collections of short stories from the guy who wrote “Let the Right One in” that I read in October. Very good, I think he's a very good writer and the way that in a few paragraphs he can already transpose the state of mind of his characters is very impressive. Some very good stories, some that are just alright, but overall they're original.

Lip des Héros Ordinaires – Laurent Galandon (script), Damien Vidal (drawing)

There is a bunch of history here (this in non-fiction). Lip was a french company that manufactured watches, and that was gigantic at a a time, producing millions of watches per year. They were a staple of the watch world in those days. They were the sole importer of some big brands like Breitling, Universal Genève and Blancpain in France, and as part of that deal also got to put their names in the dial. All of this to say they were a very big deal, and taking some business away from the Swiss, who have a huge stake in the watch business. Lip was acquired by Ébauche SA, a swiss company, that secretly decided to destroy it from the inside, to get rid of competition. Slowly but surely the business died, but as soon at it reached the layoffs stage, corporate had to fight with the workers' union, and couldn't just sack everybody without notice. During this battle, the employees discovered some documents revealing the scheme from Ébauche SA, and decided to fight back, occupying the factory, sending off the current inventory of watches to be hidden in a monastery, and building watches without supervision, with the little guys running everything, completely autonomously. Their slogan was “On fabrique, on vend, on se paie” (We're crafting, we're selling, we're paying ourselves). The workers were effectively owning the means of production. This was a first in France, and the capitalist state was not a big fan. The CRS (the police squadron that the french government sends to beat up civilians keep the peace during protests, even to this day) were sent to push the worker out of the factory, using violence. Using a combo of night operation, false fire alarm, cutting the power and rushing in, they were successful. But the workers had hidden the stock of 25 000 watches that was in the factory, and were continuing to produce off-site after this, so this was not the end.

All of this and more is told through BD format, through to the “resolution” of the conflict. It looks good, it's interesting.

Artificial Condition + Rogue Protocol + Exit Strategy- Martha Wells

Book 2, 3 and 4 of the Murderbot Diaries. Still very good.

Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

Very good, and fairly accessible for a classic. I'm always a sucker for unreliable narrator and my boy Victor Frankenstein is one. The way he portrays himself as the perfect romantical hero when he's a piece of shit who won't take responsibility for his creation is always flabbergasting. It was so funny how sick he got all the time. *mosquito passes wind next to victor* “Heaven's I am getting sick, I will be bedridden for the next 6 months” There is a lot to unpack and think about.

A Winter's Promise + The Missing of Clairedelune + The Memory of Babel – Christel Dabos

Book 1, 2 and 3 of The Mirror Visitor Series. It's originally a french series that I have read multiple times, but I brought the first book to the white elephant exchange and as most of the people participating didn't speak french, I had to get the english translation. Obviously, I had to re-read it first, this time in english. I think the french version slaps harder. During my re-read I also found more flaws in the book, but I still love them.

Le joueur d'échec + Lettre d'une inconnue – Stefan Zweig

Two short stories from one of my sister's favourite author. The first one was very good, but where it supposed to be dramatic, the situation is so funny to look at from an outsider perspective that I don't think I got the feeling of dread and despair that the author intended. The second short story was a bit yucky and too repetitive.

I can't choose a favourite book this year, but my unsorted top 3 would be:

• Let the Right One In
• Fire and Blood
• The Remains of the Days

And my favourite BD would be L'Aigle sans Orteils. Let's take a look at the storygraph stuff.

Story Graph

Storygraph does all the data analysis for me, so I just have to steal the graphs from the app, what a delight.

Storygraph isn't super accurate in the number of books read so here's a more precise breakdown:

• Mangas: 60
• Books: 44
• BDs: 9
• Anthologies: 5
• Comics Compendium: 3

Here's the breakdown per month:

I do plan maybe balancing the books I read in french or english a bit better, and maybe adding some more languages next year. But I have another book related project from next year...

___

2026 Booklog

I will be joining the challenge that our Glorious Leader has set for himself, of going through all the books/pdfs that he has amassed without reading. Obviously, I will not be going through his unread books, but through mine. Whenever I visit France, I love getting classics of french literature/philosophy/whatever which are way more affordable, and since I got an e-reader, I've been going a bit hard on the pirating. I have a pretty extensive booklog, that I've compiled here: google sheet. I'm not sure which rules our Dear Leader is imposing himself, but for my part, I will have the following:

• Read at least the first 50 pages/20% of the book, whichever is the shortest, before DNFing
• Be only allowed to DNF 10% of the list (6 books)
• Only allow myself to pickup something as a treat that's not on the list every 5 books from the list read
• Concerning the rule above, gifted, bookclub and group read books don't count as treats. As well, if the first book of a series is in the list, I am allowed to read the rest of the series without having them counts as treat books.
• Grant myself two red buttons which allow me to delete an epub instead of reading it.

That should cover it. My plan right now is to go through the low hanging fruits, and then just go based on vibes. See you next month.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

The government seems to be attempting to solve this apparent complete failure of results in one way: by stripping regulations and workers’ rights. More sacrifice from the workers for maybe potentially some later gain and a few more jobs. In Ontario, Carney and Ford are teaming up to ensure that select private companies will be able to ignore laws and regulations to develop faster and hopefully get us on track to where we “should” be in their eyes. Don’t worry about climate change; we plan to miss all our goals. Don’t worry about the environment or homes of endangered species; it can be clear-cut to make a toxic dumping ground. Don’t worry about workers' rights; we need more profit.

This is one attempt to solve the issue, one that is distinctly pro-capital and big business. If you are big enough (with a successful enough lobby to get a contract), you can get selected to break the rules set out for everyone. If some people get to break the rules, what is the point of having universal rules? All this is to say that the democratic process is changing. In this case, they are becoming less “of the people”. This is the state merging with corporations, the economic model that defines fascism, employed by liberals during crises in order to maintain capitalism.

This is being done to “cut through bureaucratic bloat and red tape”. The idea is that the process holds back our development: that skipping it and developing without feedback would be better for the people no longer involved in the process. In times like these, we need to make “touch choices” to “get what needs to be done, done.” People often seem to ignore that giving a bourgeois state unchecked power just means you will get forced into bourgeois results! This talk of these tough choices, however, seems to skip over something completely: If the process is broken, and we need to allow specific companies to ignore regulations and processes to get anything done, why are we not directly addressing and evolving the process? While the real answer sits somewhere around protecting profits, we should still look into how the process works and what something else could look like if we want to have even a hope of implementing something better in the future.

I am going to approach this through a very narrow lens: my discussions in the process of the bike lanes on Sloane, as well as other recent discussions I have had to use as examples.

As a Toronto waste yute, witnessing our development is pretty crushing. The economy seems bad for workers, who struggle to live comfortably and are constantly told to sacrifice for the greater good. This greater good seems to never materialize, or if it does, is so loaded with half measures or absolute failure that you wonder why it was even done in the first place. Recently, I have been attending meetings related to bike lane development on Sloane Avenue, and watching this process and talking to the people has given me a little insight into how this comes to be.

First, I will start with a discussion I had many months ago that prompted an article that got lost in the sauce and didn’t make it out of the sticks: I was talking with a health and safety consultant at work. She mentioned how long it took her to get to our meeting, as is a usual conversation in Toronto. I gave the usual platitudes about “yeah, traffic, amirite!” She asked about my travel and how I find getting around these days. I said I have an electric bike, so I can zip around all the way downtown without any lights or anything. It’s quick, convenient, and consistent, which I like. This comes at the cost of winter inconvenience and some places being dangerous due to a lack of infrastructure. She generally just gave me a remark of disapproval about bikes and said she’s a car person, so we should avoid the topic. It was a bit strange. Later, she also said she was really against working from home and thinks people need to get back into the office. I also found this particularly strange. To summarize: she hates traffic, but wants more people moving around all the time, and wants less alternative transportation. She hates traffic, but the result of each thing she wants is more traffic.

On to the bike lanes meeting on Sloane. Unfortunately, I had an event at the same time as the initial proposal, but I was able to make it to the consultation, where people could give feedback. For reference, the road is full of potholes, extremely wide, and frankly, about as falling apart as a road can be in a city. It is up for redevelopment, so it will be redone completely, no matter what. The question is how it will be redone. Currently, the road has one lane of traffic each way, some parking in certain spots, and a bus. The plan would add separated bike lanes, keep all lanes of traffic, keep all parking, and keep the bus with approximately the same stops. This was all laid out wonderfully on some big maps that made the redevelopment easy to see in its totality. People in the community had complained about the safety of the street (especially at the elementary school), the speed of cars on the road, and people on scooters zipping around everywhere with no regard for the rules of the road.

All of these are addressed in the plan. The bike lanes would help kids bike to school safely, reducing traffic and also offering a safer drop-off zone for the buses. Narrowing of lanes would help reduce the speed of cars, and having a bike lane would get non-car methods of transportation off the roads. It also brings the road up to date with what has been successful all around the world. All this while not reducing any car lanes, and maintaining all the parking that was there before. People must have loved that their issues were addressed and engaged with the plan to pick up on specific details and see how it all works, right?

Well, not at all. Instead, the consultation was packed full of people yelling at random school staffers, people who could barely walk, talking about how “as an avid cyclist” they “just don’t think it’s right”, and asking for the entire development to be called off. This would mean instead of losing nothing, improving the street, and having all their problems addressed, they would rather the road remain full of potholes. These are the NIMBYs, and we know these types. They preach that every development is a disaster, fight against it any way they know how, and if the development gets through. None of their fears ever materialize, but they WILL keep on fighting.

I spoke to my councillor about these people, right at a time where most working people could discuss things: his office discussion event at 9:00 AM on a Monday.

It’s easy to say something like “Democracy could be good, but the people are stupid” or “we need a strong leader to make decisions for us”, or even just say that “we just need someone to finally force some change through for this one”. It’s also easy to say “we just need to overthrow capitalism and have a real, equitable world”. I think these are easy cop outs to actually addressing a problem. The first calls for outcomes in a way that is not equitable, which will only serve to ensure that non-equitable outcomes can’t be punished. In the second, ok, so what will that process look like?

Here, I will outline a process different from the one we have that addresses the key flaw: people seek both means and outcomes that are contradictory. This guarantees poor outcomes. There are two goals in a new system: Better outcomes and a means that aims to ensure outcomes are equitable. I don’t see them as contradictory.

One thing our system does extremely poorly is guarantee quality outcomes. Decisions are made, they are abject failures, and we follow them up by making the same (or worse) decisions. Projects are completed, fail to do what they are designed to do (or even make the problem worse), and the same decisions get made for the next project. This is a symptom of some of those means issues. People who do not understand the problem are a part of how we decide to solve the problem. Traffic? Add more lanes. More lanes didn’t solve traffic? Clearly not enough lanes, add more. Some solutions make sense if you think about it for a couple of minutes, but the world is pretty complicated, and often these “intuitive” solutions simply do not work.

This could be replaced with a process. People are asked about what outcomes they want for a specific project. Meetings are held, and a broader consensus is made on where priorities are and what metrics would be primary indicators of success (other metrics would obviously still be tracked). From here, experts in the subject field (city planners, etc) create a plan that addresses those issues, execute the plan, and after varying amounts of time, take surveys about the results of the plan according to metrics. Surveys can also include perceptions of the plan and non-specific community satisfaction. The results of these surveys are relayed back to education on city planning, where researchers would adjust models based on the new feedback. Changes would be made, more projects would be done, more priorities and metrics would be set, more plans executed, more input would be cycled back, etc.

Projects could get a certain number of “marks” based on the successes and shortcomings of the plans. Sections of the plan deemed successful could be positive marks on the record of planners who supported it. Sections riddled with issues or receiving negative feedback could be negative marks on the record of planners who supported it. Plan proposals that do not receive support mean that planners do not have faith that they will achieve desirable outcomes, and the plan should likely be redeveloped. Positive and negative reviews for planners would be based on broader trend lines. One plan gone wrong for one reason or another should not harm a planner’s career, but rather consistent failure to achieve desirable results should make them revisit what we know works.

1. A scope or plan for the project is laid out (similar to now)
2. Get community input
   1. Decide priorities
   2. Decide focus metrics
3. Create a plan that accomplishes what the community wants
   1. Note: You could get community feedback for small changes here, but the larger core of the plan must stay the same
4. Execute the plan
5. Survey results at different intervals after completion (including shorter and longer term)
   1. Measure target metrics and other surrounding metrics
   2. Survey perceptions on the planning and execution of the plan
   3. Gather subjective input on the results of the plan
   4. Gather broader input on quality of life
6. Use the results of the plans to update models and education for future planning
7. Based on results:
   1. Good results can be positive marks on the planner’s record
   2. negative results can be marks against
      1. too many marks against and education must be redone for a period of time, where the person can not create or execute more plans until they are re-certified

What is the result? Here is what I have broadly broken down for city planners:

• City planners would be able to execute plans based on what people want.
• Plan execution could be uninterrupted and decisive.
• People who do not understand city planning are not able to destroy quality plans.
• City planners would be focused on making projects that benefit the communities they work for.
• City planners who consistently do projects that communities don’t like get removed from the pool of selectable city planners.
• City planners are kept up to date on the latest, and consistently successful city planners don’t need to worry about that since they’re successful anyway.
• City planners are given tools to re-entry if it is their passion, but they didn’t quite land their first shot.

This model could similarly be applied to other fields, like economics.

1. Economists make predictions and prescribe policy on a region (differing regions may have different policies enacted at the same time)
2. Goals and metrics are defined and agreed upon
3. Policy is enacted, and results are monitored
4. Surveys are done, metrics are collected, input is received, and quality of life input is received
5. According to these, policies are measured against each other
6. Bad outcomes are deemed failures, good policies are assessed, changes made, models updated, and the process begins again

Economists who prescribe bad policy for the majority get filtered out, two separate good policies can be assessed for their benefits, and economies are made better gradually for the majority. People get input and the results they want, while getting rid of the part where they can demand results, then destroy their own results by being insufferable. Plans can be executed faster with less interference at every step.

Since this is almost certainly not going to become our real policy, and is mostly just me creatively complaining, I don’t want to get too into the weeds, but it is necessary to address potential shortcomings of the system as outlined. Some of these may happen, some may not, some are the same as now, and some aren’t even actual problems of the system at all. It’s a necessary step and worth thinking about potential problems as an exercise, dialectics or whatnot, but I’m not here making hundred-page bills, I’m here making something I hope my friends will like reading.

Pigeon Holes and Risk Aversion

This policy rewards doing something that people will receive well, and broadly moves forward in a kind of alpha-beta testing strategy on the academic side of things. This could lead people down a specific “branch” of policy prescription that is good, but another branch is better. People may not want to take risks and try something new because this one is ol’ reliable, or ol’ reliable may continue to be used even after structural progression beyond its ideal use case.

I always tell people you can’t let perfection get in the way of something good. Right now, we will consistently do things that are actively bad for the majority. The new system is thus an improvement. Additionally, if there is a new consensus amongst the studied planners, they can agree to execute the plan and check the results, potentially dedicating money to re-developing to the “main” branch of ideas if it does not work out. One plan does not dictate the career trajectory of the planners; it’s about trends and consistency. If something is tried and fails, a regression to something tried and true is not necessarily a bad feature. I like some experimentation in my life, but consistency is also healthy.

Selection Process

Who gets to go to the meetings where goals and concerns are voiced? This is a problem now and would probably also be a problem in the new system, and I don’t think it can be truly solved. It is the contradiction between freedom and domination. Give people freedom of choice to show up, and they can freely choose not to.

Broadly, handle it as it should be handled now. Flyers sent out the the community, have different meetings at different times of different days spread out over a month or so, get feedback, and move on. People can show up if they care, or not if they don’t care about this specific thing. Allow them to write in, send an email, or do a digital survey. Someone could live 2 blocks from a road being redeveloped and never take that road, making them also not helpful if they do show up to the meeting under any mandatory jury-duty-like condition.

NIMBYs / Loud Minorities

What about groups of people who absolutely love showing up and hating on plans? I believe this new strategy is actually better than now for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, many of these people know the outcomes they want, but just hate it when things actually happen around them. They want better traffic flow while having safer and better designed entries and exits for school traffic. The problem is that when they see what that looks like, they hate it when it looks different from what they know. Here, they can say what they want, have it built into the plan, but be removed from the process until it is done.

Right now, these people are given opportunities to change plans at several steps. By removing them from the steps where they are most destructive, they are not able to jam up the entire process forever. Their initial inputs are received, then a real plan is executed, and the new strategy stops them from creating infinite half measures or bad decisions that cause end-result failue.

Metrics Becoming Targets

This could actually become a problem in this system, but it is also a problem of our current system, where we can’t even meet metrics in the first place. Given metrics and planners with careers on the line, what stops these planners from optimising around certain metrics?

My main counters to this are having the community have input on success metrics as well as having a secondary and differently “weighted” subjective feedback attached. Having community input on metrics stops the process from getting completely focused on having one metric dictate everything, even if it doesn’t necessarily help people (think GDP). Having the subjective feedback helps with trying to figure out what new metrics or adverse effects may be present that aren’t represented using the currently measured metrics.

What if people think certain metrics will have certain impacts on them that don’t actually happen (think GDP)? Having room for more than one metric is my main attempt at resolving this.

What if metrics are broadly at odds with each other (Think right now with house prices vs home values)? Which will take priority in success metrics? I think part of the process here is that it would be harder to develop into these places in the big picture, but frankly, this is a tough spot off the dome that would require professionals from several areas to address. Luckily, this system allows that, unlike the current one, where the bourgeois interest is always taken.

Mass Insistence On Bad Decisions

What happens if everyone in the system for one reason or another wants decisions with bad outcomes, from the planners to the people being consulted in the process? Not only does this happen all the time right now, but metrics and subjective experience would show this over time, and the planning decisions would be culled, as it forces learning from the evidence rather than just vibes or promises.

If only the planners insist on bad plans, the poor results would force them back to school so much that they would lose representation in the moment and also not be able to sustain themselves because they would now only be spending half their career getting re-certified.

The people can’t really insist on bad plans in this system.

Existential Shocks

What happens if something, like a pandemic response, means the plans don’t really get a fair shot? In these cases, surely, good plans would receive negative feedback. Board reviews could be done to account for this, which would then in turn open up more opportunity for more bad plans to get away with sticking around for longer, but existential shocks I see as a real potential shortcoming. It is also a shortcoming for most systems like this, including ours today. I think doing planner reviews as a trend line and not a “three strikes” or “one bad plan and done” helps people get through shocks, and having short as well as long-term measuring of outcomes makes it more likely that a shock and recovery are both accounted for at some point in the review cycle.

Cross Contamination

What if other plans cross-contaminate and muddle feedback, or if two otherwise good plans happen to not blend well together? I would have to assume that under this system, cross-contamination would be near constant. I think this is mostly a problem of thinking of this system as a one-off, isolated event. If the system were working on a larger scale for a consistent amount of time, good and bad plans would be selected for and against, and cross contamination for different projects would be something planners would be constantly studying and building in as the process continues to evolve. Thinking once again in branches, there may be a branch that is optimal in one scenario, but another branch that tends to work better in another. The point is that people who study and understand this are part of the selection process.

Keeping Communities Unique

First, I would just like to state out front that I think if people had communities that improved over time in favour of their best interest, people would probably care less about their specific neighbourhood being “unique”. I think if there were a system that people could trust, a lot of attitudes would change over time. I do think having different communities is cool. Aesthetics could easily be made part of this process, for example, a development near brick works could be specifically mandated to need to have exposed brick integrated into its style. Generally speaking, there is also subjective feedback. If planners want more positive feedback, the feel of the community is something they would want to preserve and have people be proud of to appeal to residents of the area.

Do It In Another Community

What of things that are broadly seen as negative, like a homeless shelter that people may not like, but needs to happen? Right now, we simply struggle to get these things done anywhere at all. If development were done in favour of the majority of people, these types of developments of last resort would likely need to happen less often.

Alas, it may still need to happen. Under this system, for starters, it would actually happen, as the community would just give overall feedback on how it would be brought about and how to make sure it goes well, not destroy the entire plan.

For reviews, some development may just be fundamentally deeply unpopular. In this case, good planners may need to be assigned to make it simply have as many upsides with as few downsides as possible, or it could be made a smaller part of a larger development to offset it. I would call this a definite weak point of the process, but it is a definite weak point of our current process as well.

Some of the astute among you may have noticed that I have re-invented democratic central planning in one form or another. This brings me to a brief discussion I want to include about reform and revolution, as well as organic marxism and process thinking.

For reform and revolution, we often joke about the concept of “voting your way to a revolution”; We have a bourgeois state, and as such, the bourgeois state will not ever concede the ability for voters to vote for a proletarian state. Then comes the alternative: do a revolution. There will be chaos, and in the midst of all the chaos, your ideology will win and rise. This is also funny, because people think their ideology will rise from the ashes, when the reality is that my ideology will rise from the ashes. I think many people who want revolution don’t necessarily express themselves well on what revolution actually looks like and how it could be done on a global scale.

The focus of my fascination with post-capitalism and bringing about new systems is found on a few fronts. One of these is likely sourced in my influence from Mark Fisher: making other systems tangible. I want to imagine new systems, outline them and some of their processes, think of where they might succeed and what shortcomings they may suffer from. This leads to others. What systems, if put in place, may mimic or mirror our current system in surface-level function, yet inevitably lead to changes compatible with post-capitalist or socialist desires? If you were to do a revolution (whatever that entails), what systems could you put in place to ensure progress towards your goals while making compromises to either reduce the likelihood of a successful reactionary counter-revolution or the necessity of having to rebuild an entire modern economy from scratch in one day, all while not getting conquered?

Compromise is necessary one way or another, but you don’t have to compromise on everything. This system I focused on is mostly through the lens of making it so that bike lanes are actually installed, but I did outline briefly how the exact same system could be used for economic planning. This economic planning is separate from and replaces bourgeois economic planning, but in terms of people’s interaction with it, the changes are nearly invisible. Bourgeois economic planning is able to assign austerity over and over, implementing a neoliberal model that doesn’t even succeed in its own internal logic. This planning, seemingly very similar, necessitates positive outcomes as reported from the majority, so things like austerity cease to be a feasible policy prescription.

I remember speaking to Bennet a while back. We were talking about systems like worker co-ops and their shortcomings, as well as my defence of them despite historic criticism. My defence of worker co-ops stems from a simple principle: they are incredibly easy to imagine for your average person, they offer more agency for your average person, and if everything was suddenly a worker coop, why would people decide to bring back private ownership? The decision to bring back private ownership stands only to make people lose agency for no gain. Socialist structures like worker co-ops, which are market companies owned by workers, have been measured as more efficient than private ownership with better outcomes, so they suddenly become possible under democratic planning like this. If this worker co-op replacing private ownership scenario were to happen, you would eliminate private ownership of the means of production. From there begins work on what comes next. There are still criticisms to be had by all means, but they allow the opportunity for further changes impossible under the current system.

Systems like these are alternatives to capitalist forms without thinking of alternatives to capitalism as “giant government no freedom” that permeates the discourse so much. The system of planning outlined above is familiar; it resembles the process people know. Hell, it could even be implemented under capitalism without drawing too much attention. It may also offer better results in the way people seem to currently desire and not be restricted to bourgeois outcomes. Instead of having a government pick corporations as big winners, it rather promotes outcomes that support the masses.

When the ruling class tell us that we need to strip away workers’ rights, environmental protections, and indigenous sovereignty to get things done, it isn’t because they want to get things done. It is because they want to strip away workers’ rights, environmental protections, and indigenous sovereignty. Other options are easy to imagine and available. They simply prefer fascism because it’s good for their material interests. Don’t fall for it.

Thanks for joining me on this exercise.

Sankofa say look to the past to find our wisdom replenish as intuition There's growing pains and I know that's nothing that you don’t know If we only knew our mistakes then I’d kick us in the ass

Oncle

Games that want you to stop playing

spoilers for “Spec Ops: The Line” and “Undertale”

The concept of a game that presents a narrative which brings to attention the player's active participation isn't unique. These games are often dubbed as 'meta' though it isn't necessarily a prerequisite for that kind of storytelling. What likely comes to mind for many would be the final boss of Undertale's appropriately named “genocide route”. Over the course of repeated thrashings the final boss in question takes time to explain that in order to stop you they must present an insurmountable challenge to get you to lose interest and quit. Presenting an in-universe justification for the unexpected jump in difficulty inflicted on the player. This is framed as an act of heroism on behalf of the boss, as in this scenario the player is quite clearly made out to be the villain.

Alternatively, one could look at “Spec Ops: The Line” where a generic third person military shooter centres around a main character who's singular obsession with an end goal is used as a justification for more and more reprehensible actions. This goes to a point in which the game begins to call you out in the loading screens asking if you “feel like a hero yet?”. This is a compelling narrative, and I can attest to feeling like a terrible person in being complicit to the events of the games through my shared drive to see the game to its end. Perhaps in retrospect the best choice would have been to stop playing, upon having realized my motivations were corrupt.

What makes System Erasure's games noteworthy (besides the excellent game design, art, music etc.) is that they flip this script on its head. Instead of critiquing a player's decent into darkness they instead pose a debilitating threat which the player is then invited to overcome. It instead becomes a trial of triumph in the face of adversity, every setback designed to shatter your resolve, every barrier broken begets an even greater challenge. At times it feels the game is laughing at you, relishing in your seemingly futile efforts to summit the ever growing mountain climb set before you. All this in service of the hope that you, the player, decide to end it all and move onto something else.

DO: 1. NOT 2. GIVE 3. UP.

In this framing it is plain to see why these experiences can be unpalatable to many. However this scaffolding is the bones with which System Erasure fleshes out a narrative that makes these games compelling. The depths of despair that the player may find themselves in percolates into the vessel they inhabit. The personal journey one takes when attempting one of these games becomes as much a part of the story as the textual content itself.

To that end, the successes and failures the player experiences also become the character's shared milestones. Ultimately the fate of the character and the overall story is left in the hands of the player guiding them. Should the proverbial suffering become too much to bear and the player unwittingly provides a silent and unspoken “no” to the video game mantra of “do you wish to continue?”, this too reflects on the story being told. With the game having been dropped what remains is a tale of a valiant challenger tackling the adversity they face head-on and failing, left to the whims of the forces that opposed them. This is by all means a “bad ending” and it all takes place with barely a single dialogue option.

If you reverse this outlook however, you instead get a tale that is electrifying. Despite their better judgement, despite all the slings and blows, the player steels their resolve and carries onward. Stoking the flames of determination as it lights the way to the shores of victory. Their human spirit remaining indomitable as they persevere to reach what can only be described as nirvana. This is the story that System Erasure seeks to craft with their players.

It is with absolute certainty that I say that System Erasure delivers some of the most exhilarating rewards in the medium for the players that commit to sticking with their experiences. The satisfaction coming in part from the sheer difficulty that the players faced matched with the elation that the journey is over. The bizarre form of Stockholm syndrome could be easily dismissed as self fulfilling if not for the absolute grandeur and spectacle of these climactic endings. So bombastic are these conclusions that it almost becomes an experience in ascending to the divine, shedding your mortal shell to comet through the stars.

Story of a Sojourner

It's unlikely that the player's path to that aforementioned state will be direct. In my personal experiences with both ZeroRanger and Void Stranger there were periods of committed progress and then there were long stretches where I would put the game down. In a normal scenario I would probably have left these games behind me, making peace with however deep I got into them. However I found it uniquely difficult to fully drop these games, burdened with the lingering feeling of unfinished business. In service of advocating for these games I believe it is necessary to discuss my personal experiences with them.

In the case of ZeroRanger, without tipping the game's hand too heavily, there is a major point in the story in which the player chooses to risk everything to continue. Ultimately, it is unlikely the player will be successful on their first attempt, and so must undertake the process of retrying after their failure. In a game in which you are facing a constant onslaught of enemies and bosses, this moment functions as a particularly deep gut punch to your progress. This is softened by the fact that every attempt is accompanied by knowledge gained which can then be applied to further attempts. Repetition breeds mastery, fuelled by the player's self confidence and willingness to persevere.

I would occasionally have bursts of playtime interspersed with long periods of doing something else. With each spat of commitment to the game I slowly circled towards the gravitational well that is the game's conclusion. While I may have been orbiting this game for years, I was inching closer and closer to my final goal. Until one humble evening I booted the game after another long period of downtime with no preconceptions or desires for any particular result. I played, and played, and found myself doing better than I had ever done before. Before I know it, I faced that final barrier once more, and choose to push onwards. At this point I've become so well acquainted with the game that even if I lost here it barely constitutes as a setback. Risking everything, I keep moving forwards, my little virtual spaceship has been shed and my very ego is laid bare. My screen dances with colours and lights, and I find myself dancing with them. I've been here before, but this virtual dance partner previously had me stumbling over my feet and leaving me in the dust. This time, however, it's like I have known these motions my whole life. Step, step, twirl, I trip. My heart is beginning to race, I just have to keep it together for a little longer. I move on instinct, and worry how long I can keep this going for. Just as I was about to give out, and get sent back to that familiar starting position I open my eyes to see something I hadn't seen before. I realize I made it through, I have actually felled this beast. I would've screamed for joy but... it was 1 in the morning.

In the case of Void Stranger, instead of the high octane action of its older sibling, you are instead subjected to the mental strain of a gauntlet of puzzles. However despite the completely different setting the same rule applies here as it did in ZeroRanger, that being “knowledge is power”. In playing this game I assembled a board of notes that would grow alongside the things that I learned. Despite that, I ran out of steam my first time in. It wasn't until another person encouraged me to continue trying several months down the line that I picked the game back up and made some major revelations which completely changed the game, that I was sure to have seen everything the game had to offer. Only to face walls so impenetrable that despite all my notes and deranged reasonings I could not find a way to continue, so I stopped again.

It wasn't until this summer, roughly a year later that I happened to stumble on my notes for Void Stranger, idly thinking “ah yes I would like to finish this game sometime”. As I peered once more upon my scribblings I began to notice some connections that I hadn't noticed all those months ago. I began rearranging these pieces I had collected. Next I realized I was staring at this shape I've assembled in my notes, the culmination of all of my efforts. I had finally made what might just be the proverbial key to this locked door that prevented my progress. There was no other choice but to open this game once more, and see if it fits... click!

You can probably figure out the rest.

Embrace the void

It would be pertinent to add one final note to this discussion. While these games are quite challenging, they are by no means miserable experiences. On the contrary, I consider these to be some of the best games I have ever played. I would hope that in reading this dissection you might wish to investigate these games yourself. Much like how someone else helped give me a little boost when I was playing Void Stranger, I would be more than willing to give tips and guidance for either of these games. More than anything, if you do decide to dive into these experiences then...

May you attain enlightenment

What the backlog was this year

As stated in my previous articles, this year the “backlog” was more of a gaming journal. I didn't have any set games to play, or any amount of games to play, I was free to pick whatever. That is a very different vibe from last year, where I just had a list of games to complete by the end of the year. I was kinda lost at the beginning, so I just ended up playing the cheapest games of my steam wishlist. This was still not the way to go, as I would still feel a bit disconnected from the games I played, and couldn't get in the right mindset to enjoy myself. I was more going through the motion than actively participating in the games.

Choosing games from my wishlist was not the Humble Purge, but it was still not an organic way to go about having fun. It still felt like a work project. Thankfully, it took me less than a month to realise this, and I went for a completely vibes based approach to playing games after. Instead of picking games that had been on my wishlist for god knows how long, I let myself be influenced.

I played the hip games of the moments, or whatever my friends were playing. Throughout December and January I played Inscryption, Balatro, replayed Dark Souls III, my favourite game ever. I also played a shit ton of Street Fighter 6, my very first* fighting game. I was planning to make an article about it and stuff, but while I did write 5500 word, I lost interest in the game in May and didn't want to edit all that. If you are really interested, please find my unedited and unfinished article here: *link.

So this is what the backlog was this year, a journal of games I play on the fly. Sure, there's some stuff that I picked up from my wishlist, and some from the rejected games of the Humble purge, but overall, it was just stuff that caught my eye in the moment. It was still the same process to play them, I log everything into a google sheet, and play each game for a minimum of an hour before giving up if they are not to my taste.

_{my steam wishlist, there's like 55 games on there}

The games

The final tally for the Humble Purge, or the games I played last year, was 110 games played for a total duration of 758h. This year, I played 55 games for a total of 805h. _{this is a stream of consciousness-ish article because I have not time to write anything else} 805h?! How the fuck is that possible! I mean sure, this time around I logged games that I played throughout the end of November and December 2024 but that's only an extra 1.25 month. 805h! What the hell?! I wasn't even trying hard this year! Am I a no-life? There's no way I played dozens of more hours of video games this year than last year, when my whole year last year was dedicated to the backlog. 805h! When did I have time to play all these games?

Let's look at the data to figure it out:

November and December do add about 110 hours, but still. It looks like February — which is not yet busy at work — and July — when I was on vacation — were the months I played the most, accounting for about 30% of my playtime. Honestly, apart from those, I don't feel like I spent that much time on video games this year. And I played so little games, how is it that I played half as many games, but ended up playing for longer than last year?

Alrighty, my 5 most played games account for ~50% of all my playtime last year, and my top 10 for over two thirds. I did get a bit obsessed with Street Fighter 6 at the beginning of the year, and then I got Slay the Spire on my phone and played on the can, and then you do need about 90h to get a proper playthrough of Elden Ring with the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, and then well, you need to take your time with Silksong, and the new hard mode came out for Ready or Not so I had to play as well... I do start to get how I got to 805h this year. So did I really play games for for that long?

This graph shows for how long I've played each games. Every duration past 7h has grown compared to last year. This year I played almost half of all games for more than 7h and a third for more than 10h. I spent so much more time on each game in general, so that must mean I had more fun. I also introduced a new rating system this year, where instead of rating everything out of 10, some games are rated out of their scope. This is because making a flawless game is more impressive for a massive game of the proportions of Elden Ring, than one of the scale of King of the Bridges. Therefore the bigger games are rated out of 10, and the smaller ones out of less than 10. A flawless big game will be a 10/10, a flawless small game a 4/4 for example. This makes it super annoying to make graphs, so I have to put everything back to 10/10 to do it 🙃.

I was expecting way stronger results here. While the average is 7.26/10, which is higher than last year's 6.92/10, it's nowhere near high enough as this year I replayed some of my favourite games, and only picked games I thought I would enjoy. More on that in the The Journal is in need of improvements. Hype is not really super relevant this year, as I had not set games to play, and I just picked stuff based on a whim. But now the question is, did the game genre distribution change from last year since I could pickup whatever I wanted?

Some games were counted twice because they fit in two categories, like Balatro and Slay the Spire, which both fit in “Card” and “Roguelike” equally. Since I had half as many games this year, I have a bit less categories, and they are all represented on the graph. I merged “Action” into “Shooter” and “RPG” because all the action games I played this year actually fit either categories. No adventure games this year, which is a more generic genre. I consolidated the more thinking games that aren't puzzles into “Strategy”, and voilà. Overall, the top genres are pretty similar, except for “Point-and-clicks” which I just didn't play as I discovered I really hated them last year. Proportionally, way more Fighting games this year, more RPGs, Roguelikes, Puzzles and Platformers, the first being a genre I discovered this year, and the the last for genres I love. There was only one Metroidvania in 2025, which is something I'll have to remediate as it is one of my favourite genre.

I don't think it really matters that much if I finished games or not this year, but in any case, here's the breakdown: Of all 55 games I played, 35 could be finished (e.g. you can't “finish” a purely multiplayer game). Of those, I completed 24, played 8 for more than an hour before giving up, and abandoned 3 after only 1h. I finished about 69% (nice) of the games I set out to play this year, which is more than last year, but that's not surprising.

The Journal is in need of improvements

I already talked about what went sort of askew at the beginning of the year, but the way I corrected it was not satisfactory to me. First, choosing games on a whim led me to buy games on sale that I wanted to play, but then not playing them because by the time I got to them, there was something else that caught my eye. I have now created another backlog. Second, there is something I lost by not having a list of games to play, I'm just not challenging my tastes or being very adventurous. There are many games from the backlog last year that I would never in a million year have picked but that ended up being amazing experiences. With the way I chose my games this year, I was only playing stuff I expected to enjoy, and therefore set myself up for disappointment. Last year, there were not high expectations for a lot of games, and that lead the good surprise to become greater. I did play a couple of games from the rejected list of last year's backlog, and came out with a great surprise, which was Basement. With an original hype of 5/10 and a steam score of 77%, I would not have played this game, and yet it garnered a 7/8 rating after I played it.

Going back to Daryl Talks Games videos, which inspired the Humble Purge, I think I should do something similar to what he did — have a mini list of game to play throughout the year, like one a month or so, and then continue playing things on a whim.

_{thumbnails of Daryl's four backlog videos}

Guess I need another backlog project

As I've said above, I have acquired some games during steam sales that I haven't touched, an unforgivable offense that will need to be addressed. Therefore, my mini list of games that I have to play next year is gonna be those 12 games. One per month is honestly not that bad. I had done a Games Backlog project, followed by a Games Journal project, and I now realise that the optimal way to go about this is to have a bit of both, a Backlog Journal Fusion. And as usual, if I had just listened to Daryl's videos more carefully I would have seen that earlier. So that's what I'm gonna do next year if I have time. (Let's not kid ourselves, I will have time). See you next year,

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

In March 2001, Hakuho Sho would fight his first few bouts before getting placed in a low division. In May 2001, he would compete in his first tournament, winning 3 bouts and losing 4, a negative record. Through to the end of 2003, he would post 14 winning records (3 x 6-1, 5 x 5-2, 6 x 4-3, 0 perfect) and 2 losing records (both 3-4, including his first that we have discussed). This is overall a good performance, but more of a performance that just shows that someone is better than those who are not great. Not necessarily an indicator of greatness, but an indicator that they might belong at a competitive rank and hold their own. After the November 2003 tournament, he was promoted to Juryo. This is the second-highest division in sumo, and the start of the salaried ranks where you actually get paid to compete. These ranks also demand 15 bouts instead of 7 per basho.

In his first basho, January 2024, he would win 9 of 15 bouts. This isn't spectacular, but as you reach the salaried ranks, competition is fierce. People just below are fighting like hell to get a salary, and people above are fighting like hell to not lose their salary. Many post losing records for their first second division (Juryo) basho as they adjust to the jump in skill, and the same often happens for their first top division (Makuuchi) basho. A winning record is a good indicator that he belonged at this level and could retain it. At higher ranks, he would be tested again, and in his next basho, he would show a considerable leap in skill, winning the second division championship with a 12-3 score. This would promote him to Makuuchi, the top division.

Where most stumble, he would succeed, posting another 12-3 record and winning a fighting spirit prize for his efforts in his first basho at this level. In 2004, another wrestler, Asashoryu, would win 5 of 6 annual tournaments, including this one. The next year, in 2005, Asashoryu would win all 6 tournaments.

Pictured: Asashoryu

While Hakuho could not win, at this time, he would prove himself a strong wrestler. Posting a few very strong double-digit scores, but mostly just favourable scores, he would work his way to the top of the rankings. In Sumo, you can get to a rank called Sekiwake by just posting positive scores. Once at Sekiwake, if you post ~33 wins over 3 basho (average 11-4 or better), you get promoted to Ozeki. He would get this with 9 wins in November 2005, 13 wins as a runner-up to the winner in January 2006, and 13 wins as a runner-up again in March 2006. While the sumo administration generally does not promote if one record is 9 wins, the other two in this Ozeki run were dominant enough to warrant promotion. The decision proved the right choice, with our wrestler winning his first Yusho (championship) with a 14-1 score in his first Ozeki performance in May 2006. Asashoryu would still win the remaining 3 Yusho in the year, leading to Asashoryu having 4 Yusho in 2006. In the last 3 tournaments, Hakuho would have another runner-up performance on one, a mediocre but still positive performance in another, and sit out the last due to injury.

Hakuho's next decade would look like this. Yusho are in green. Runner-up tournaments are in yellow:

Pictured: Hakuho

He won 35. He was the runner-up for 16. In 2010, he won 63 fights in a row, losing only 4 times that calendar year. Of 60 total tournaments, he won or was inches away from winning for 51 of them. In 12 of his championships, he was undefeated. This is in a combat sport. This is, quite simply put, probably the most dominant performance of any athlete across any sport in history.

For the rest of Hakuho's career, he would be plagued with injury, sitting out many basho and having many partial performances. He won 5 more tournaments, which is still a record that would be considered very dominant for most. When he competed for a full basho, he would still be expected to win, but his time was running out. He would retire at the end of 2021 after posting a 15-0 Zensho-Yusho (undefeated championship) in July as a send-off, marking the end of the Hakuho era.

Hakuho holds the record for: Most Yusho (45), most Zensho-Yusho (16), most consecutive Yusho (7), most playoffs (10), most wins (1187), most top division wins (1093), most wins in a calendar year (86) (tied with himself at another 86 record), the highest win rate (84.6%), and surely more if you start inventing stats like they do in baseball. But now, Hakuho had retired. After a decade and a half of straight dominance, without Hakuho, what would things even be like?

The Shadow of Hakuho

As sumo goes, things can only happen when the sumo administration wants them to happen. Hakuho's last competing tournament ended with him 14-0 against Terunofuji, also 14-0, who had won the previous two tournaments. Hakuho won, going 15-0, and Terunofuji got promoted to Yokozuna, ensuring that the top spot was not vacant. Teru was, despite having both his knees obliterated twice, an incredibly dominant Yokozuna, his chart here:

Pictured: Terunofuji

Terunofuji, or Big Teru, or simply just Teru, was a force of nature. He was so immensely strong and stable that there was a meme of “Teru wins lol”. You could charge hard, you could get low, you could get a double inside grip, you could get beside him, you could keep him off your belt, and at the end of the day, Teru wins lol. Why did you even bother with all that? There was only one problem, which may be apparent looking at this. His body was not in a great state. He had made it to Ozeki before this, but his knees imploded, his diabetes acted up, and he got kidney stones, so he took some time to heal and got demoted to the bottom of the rankings before returning and pulling all of this off. He would continue to get injured, to the point that when he retired, I wasn't even sure his knees ever existed in the first place.

Big Teru, having an imminent retirement for a couple of years, demanded the question of who would be next. There were some other promising wrestlers bubbling in the rankings:

In 2022, Mitakeumi was gaining some real momentum and, after hanging around the upper ranks for a while, had a very strong run, resulting in a championship and making Ozeki. In his first tournament at Ozeki, he would injure his shoulder and not take the time to get surgery for it to actually recover. Losing a central tenet of his power, he has remained a shell of his former self, in the bottom ranks of the top division.

Pictured: Mitakeumi

Kirishima, with incredible speed, power, and tactical ability, would also make Ozeki. He would win a Yusho as Ozeki, but last only one year, with injury preventing him from being able to apply the entire range of his sumo. Kirishima still shows incredible potential, but remains inconsistent as he makes the necessary adaptations to his style with some nagging injuries. At 29 with still incredible skill, it is not unlikely that with some more consistency, he may be able to regain Ozeki status.

Pictured: Kirishima

Hoshoryu, the nephew of the previously mentioned Asashoryu, was also climbing the ranks, making the top division in September 2020. Not a clear superstar out of the gate, but incredibly tricky and remarkably consistent, he slowly started gaining steam, rising in the ranks, and getting more wins. Hoshoryu is an incredible tactician, but loves risky plays. This has made him inconsistent, which he countered by doing almost strict belt battles for a while until he was one of the strongest. Making the top ranks in January 2022 and posting 10 winning records in a row, Hoshoryu would start posting fairly consistent double-digit wins and make Ozeki in September 2023. Hoshoryu was great, but his inconsistency made it clear that he was not picking up the torch of sheer dominance that we were used to. We will return to Hoshoryu later.

Pictured: Hoshoryu. Note: Hoshoryu often looks very angry while fighting because he has trouble seeing without his glasses

Kotonowaka (now Kotozakura) would make the top division mid-2020 and stay there starting 2021. Similar to Hoshoryu, he would slowly but consistently work his way up the rankings, slowly but steadily making improvements until he would make Ozeki in March 2024 after two jun-yusho. As he made Ozeki, he would change his name to Kotozakura, his grandfather's name. Kotozakura would have a pretty monstrous 2024, posting double-digit wins in 5 of 6 basho, and beating Hoshoryu to win 14-1 in November in a tournament where they were both dominating the rest of the field. Unfortunately, he would sustain an injury and, in 2025, he posted a 5-10 score, 9-5-1 score (1 absence due to injury), and the remainder would be 8-7. Not bad, but not nearly the dominance that could have been. He remains Ozeki and hopefully is able to return to dominant form.

Pictured: Kotozakura

In March 2024, the tournament in which Kotozakura made Ozeki with a jun-yusho, another rikishi exploded onto the scene. In his first top division tournament, he would win the Yusho with a 13-2 score, becoming the first wrestler in 110 years. In his 14th fight against Asanoyama, he would injure his ankle, forcing him to leave in a wheelchair. He would still win his 15th fight, but sitting out would cause him to get demoted in the following tournaments. He has since returned to the top division and shows flashes of brilliance when uninjured, but he has shown some persistent injuries, making it a big ask.

Pictured: Takerufuji

A New Era Emerges?

After making Ozeki and getting 9 winning records in a row, Hoshoryu would make it, getting a jun-yusho (1 short of winning) score of 13-2, followed by a 12-3 yusho. The 13-2 was considered equivalent to a yusho, and he was promoted to Yokozuna. While Hoshoryu has still struggled with some mild inconsistencies, he has continued to improve and is now an incredibly consistent title challenger, almost always in the title picture. Every year, he seems to just get better, and continuing to do so year over year now has him as a significant threat to all opponents. I believe he is the only rikishi with a winning record over the next rikishi we will discuss, Onosato.

Pictured: Hoshoryu

2024 would also see a giant in Onosato make the top division. Onosato has been incredibly dominant, with most bouts looking like he simply needs to escort his opponents out of the ring. He is an absolute monster at 6'4 410 lbs, but also incredibly fast on his feet. Onosato is easily the most dominant right now. Where other people are competing to get a yusho, Onosato is competing for a zensho-yusho. He is brand new, but just agility mixed with monstrous physical prowess means it's hard to find a real counter to his style. People were looking for Onosato to show Hakuho-like dominance, and while he has been incredible, watching how good Onosato is, then looking at Hakuho's record shows just how insane Hakuho was. Onosato is yet to post a losing record, and having made Yokozuna, it is not unlikely that he never will.

Pictured: Onosato

Last but not least, Aonishiki, one of two Ukrainian wrestlers, has just hit the scene. Something remarkable about Aonishiki is that he has so far almost exclusively posted the same score. When he was fighting 7 bouts, he would get 6-1. When fighting 15 days, he would get 11-4, no matter what level his opponents were. He has an amazing style of staying low, getting in close, and being incredibly stable on his feet. Once he is in below someone's stance, it is incredibly hard to fight back, and also hard to try to push him down because of his quick pivots and throws. In his last tournament, he managed to win a playoff against Hoshoryu, whom he has never lost against, and will begin his next tournament as our newest Ozeki. Having a little shrine to his success would be a cool addition to any Ukrainian restaurant in the city.

Pictured: Aonishiki

So we have some strong challengers, but also three competitors distinguishing themselves in the current moment. To further this, Hoshoryu keeps beating Onosato, Onosato keeps beating Aonishiki, and Aonishiki keeps beating Hoshoryu. While none of them have shown the absolute domination that was Hakuho, I think having a few people competing at such a high level makes it all the more exciting. It might just be the most exciting time in sumo in years.

The Next tournament is from January 11 to January 25. With daily updates (one day delayed once the tournament starts) HERE

I have been writing, I promise! Just not for the article.

CAIN and Tom Bloom- what I've been doing every Saturday

Every Saturday, I run a TTRPG game called CAIN. It's extraordinarily fun and is written by the same guy who draws the art for LANCER. He's also the artist for the webcomic Kill 6 billion demons. The art is fantastic, it's so incredibly detailed and gorey in the best possible way. However, (and I say this in the kindest way possible) I think a lot of the tension that is built up in the webcomic is ruined by this... almost compulsive need to shove in “adult show comedy”. There's a lot of swearing to be funny, a lot of punchlines that land flat that echo “Marvel humor” in that way of “haha isn't that so weird to say at this serious moment?”. I wish I could recommend this webcomic because the idea and art is so interesting but I can't.

But CAIN is different. The entire rulebook takes itself seriously. And yes, it's edgy and takes itself seriously the entire way through, but that's what I think makes it cool! When I'm running a dark, edgy game, I'm not going to pull back and say “wow that was so cringe! Let me make a joke of how serious I'm taking this whole setting so I can claw back my credibility after being genuine!”. Sometimes, things can just be genuine!

CAIN is about exorcists working under a supernatural organization (named the eponymous CAIN) who work to kill SINS, manifestations of human trauma made monstrous. Exorcists have powers called Blasphemies. CAIN is a shadowy organization and has the entire world government in their pocket. It works off a 6 sided dice system, with theater of the mind combat.

If this sounds like the game for you, here's the link to the rulebook:

https://tombloom.itch.io/cain

There's a lot of interesting ideas and threads you can work off of, but enough established themes where it's easy for all the players to be on the same page.

And it's not supposed to be for long term campaigns.

The long term campaign

This is the story I've been working on for the past year. It's been tough coming up with a throughline that connects all the character's backstories, but I've managed it.

The Group

Good Intentions is an Ardence blasphemy (explosions and fire) exorcist who is now the handler for the group and is following the Virtue Justice. (Virtues are part of a supplemental pack – basically you get extra benefits for following specific rules, but get punished when you break them). Was part of a cult sacrifice before awakening his blasphemy and exploding the entire cult.

Silac is a Flux blasphemy exorcist (time control) who was captured by CAIN. British (this campaign takes place in the US). Killed her lover before being captured.

Shadow is a Whisper blasphemy exorcist (scary ghost follows you around) who was switched with the original soul of her body at ten years old. The original person was named Abigail, who now acts as the Whisper.

The story so far

The group has fought a bunch of SINs and have gotten closer as a group as a result. Carter, their handler, was murdered by Isaiah, a previous teammate of Carter and a high ranking official in the rival organization Iscariot (thanks Nick).

Carter became a SIN when she died, and is now held by Iscariot.

They're REALLY attached to their handler, so they're working with Iscariot to betray CAIN and bring back information for the organization. They're also betraying CAIN because they discovered that CAIN is prolonging the war on SINs rather than trying to end it.

The group has already met Isaiah, who was affected by the memory wipe in some way and wants to infiltrate CAIN by creating a massive SIN event on Christmas to distract all the exorcists away from the facility. The group managed to convince Isaiah to allow them to infiltrate the facility and not create a massive SIN event, since they were already part of CAIN and it would be easy for them to complete the heist.

(The whole “memory wipe / a missing puzzle which is framed by what I do know” is heavily inspired by There is no antimemetic division. I thought it was pretty interesting and had cool ideas.)

NPC story

The group is also trying to find a way to restore their old Handler, Carter, back to being human after becoming a SIN. Carter was murdered by Isiah, who's a high ranking rogue binder in a different organization called Iscariot whose goal is to destroy CAIN. Isaiah, Carter, and Morgiana were all exorcists who were on a team in CAIN before Morgiana was killed. Carter continued in CAIN and became a handler for Good, Silac, and Shadow, while Isaiah took Morgiana, who became a hound SIN, away from CAIN and joined Iscariot. I haven't decided whether the 3 of them were in a toxic relationship or not...

The group also had met Carter as a SIN as part of their deal with Isaiah to cooperate with Iscariot. The last message she gave them was to forget about her. Morgiana was killed at the time of the memory wipe done by Hope due to a psychic backlash as a result of her high level bond with TEMPERANCE.

Before Carter had died, her final message to them was: Leave or find out Project Temerity Stigmata Room 11668 Hide from Faith Dig into Morgiana Take Care

This was a scrambled message, they figured it out :). They were also able to connect with Carter as a SIN where they were able to talk to her normally, and she asked them to forget about her and run away.

The situation

They're breaking into their old facility that's located in Oregon. Hope is a Virtue that does mass memory wipes from a space station, and is away only on Christmas Eve.

The memory that was wiped is that Temperance (the missing Virtue) and Truth (something stronger, more priomordial than a Virtue that is behind the increase of SIN events) are both in an eternal, secret battle. It was wiped out ten years ago by a previous generation of Hope, due to ?someone? discovering something they weren't supposed to (I'll figure this out later). TRUTH is a priomordial thing where grace is stored and emanated from, allowing for the creation of exorcists and SINs. The way that CAIN has bound it is that: 1) TRUTH must remain bound, or it will be released upon the world 2) If everyone forgets that TRUTH exists, the binding fails because it's based off maintaining a knowledge equilibrium (still workshopping this one) 3) But if everyone knows TRUTH exists, TRUTH becomes powerful enough to break free

The group has already gotten to the research laboratory level. The head reasearcher Marcus Webb has allowed them to drop off cargo, while two of their allies who are NPCs (Barry and Ruby) both have an access key that gives access to the upper levels and are waiting for them.

Next session

I have a session in TWO weeks so it gives me a lot of time to plan... problem is there's a lot of threads to piece together and make into something that might kill a player.

There's two levels left for them to go through: a level called the HOLD, which is a prison system for more dangerous SINs and other things that need to be kept under lock and key. The other level is the Archive, where the information is being held.

Conclusion

Uauauaua helpppp

You might be asking, “Elisa, why do you even care about this? Your job can’t be done remotely.” You would be right: the vast majority of public library work requires workers to be physically at the branch. I have to sit at the circulation desk and answer questions; I have to assemble craft supplies to test my programs; I have to collect books off of the shelves; I have to sit beside a senior to troubleshoot their computer question. Unless I become some form of manager (which wouldn’t happen for at least a decade), I will never have a remote or hybrid position as long as I stay on this career path. And yet, I am still very passionate about how utterly stupid the RTO mandates are.

Let’s rewind to the year 2022. In Winter 2022, I was completing the first year of my library science master’s degree in Toronto, and desperately hunting for a placement in my field that would employ me over the long university summer. My quest for money and experience was complicated by the fact that my then-boyfriend, now-fiancé, Bennet lived in Kingston, where he was completing his own masters. I scoured the internet, but there were no positions to be had anywhere in the Thousand Islands region. So, it fell to me to make a choice: should I put my career development first, and take a job in a major city, and continue to suffer the misery of a long distance relationship? Or should I choose love and happiness, spend the summer with Bennet in Kingston, and hope to find a retail job that would likely not give me any relevant experience to put on my resume? But then, the answer to all of my problems appeared on a beam of pixelated light, as if sent down from God herself: a remote job. It was the perfect solution; I could gain experience in a new aspect of librarianship based in Ottawa, while still living in Kingston and having a gloriously happy summer with Bennet. So, I took the position, and it was so worth it. Summer 2022 was an excellent one, filled with drive-in theaters, mini-golf, double rainbows, and adventures in upstate New York; none of which I would have experienced by myself in Toronto.

And at the end of Summer 2022, I had a similar yet opposite choice to make. Should I go back to full time classes in Toronto (which I was super disillusioned with) and deal with the one-two punch of seasonal depression and a return to long-distance, or should I take a different work placement in Kingston, where I could continue to learn new professional skills and also generally enjoy life. Due to the perks of remote schooling, I was able to work in-person in Kingston and do a remote class based in Toronto so that I could still graduate on time. Fall 2022 was also one of my happiest ever, featuring corn mazes, fall fairs, bar trivia, and my first Hoco. I will be forever grateful to the time and opportunities that these two remote options (work and school) provided for me, and I think everyone should have that chance.

Now that you know why I am fighting this battle, let's zoom out a bit and clarify what exactly I mean by remote work. In my mind, jobs that are largely computer based that involve minimal physical work or face to face interaction are well suited for remote work or hybrid positions. Obviously not all jobs meet that criteria, but many do meet them at least partially, and their workers could thrive with various levels of remote or hybrid working. To add, I also believe that a remote job should not be constrained to a strict 9-5. If you want to shift your working hours to 10-6 or 8-4, or split your shift so that you can take a longer lunch, or catch up on work on the weekends, I think that remote work should give you that chance. As long as you can attend any meetings and get your work done, I think that employees should be free to choose the hours that they keep.

And now, with all of that exposition out of the way, we can finally get into the many, many benefits of remote working.

Geography

If you have a remote job, then you aren’t physically tied down to your office location. This means that jobs can be distributed out of major cities and provide opportunities for residents of small towns. This is about more than just people who moved rurally during COVID, although this would benefit them too. I’m primarily bringing up this point because it would allow people to stay in their own communities without having to move out. So if the major employer of SmallTown, Ontario goes bust, there are options for people to get jobs without moving away. As an aside: I know that these opportunities are not one-to-one. Obviously someone who has worked a very physical job of manual labour will not be able to seamlessly adapt to a high-tech fully remote computer job, but I think the principle still stands.

Being able to work from anywhere also means that you can work while travelling, whether for pleasure, obligation, or emergency. This is good for employers because it means that their employees are more likely to keep working while out of town, which increases productivity. It’s also good for employees because it gives them much more flexibility to keep working without having to take vacation or sick days. Obviously I’m not advocating for employees to never take vacation days; quite the opposite. Remote work should empower employees to work from anywhere they want to, and still take all of their vacation days. Consider an employee that only has 10 days of vacation per year who wants to take a two week trip. They could take two days of vacation for travelling to and from their destination, and take three full vacation days at their destination, and then work remotely for the remaining five weekdays while at their destination. In this scenario, they are still able to save five vacation days to use another time during the year. Sounds amazing to me. On a personal note, during my summer of 2022 remote job, I had a family emergency back in Toronto. Since my job was remote, I was able to travel to Toronto and be with my family without missing work (and therefore without missing pay). It was a relief for me to not have to worry about taking time off when I didn’t have any vacation days, or not having to choose between paying rent and seeing family.

Even more, the ability to work when travelling doesn’t just have to be about jet-setting to Europe or Asia. Remote working means that you can work from your house, but also your favourite cafe, your friend’s house, your cottage. If you have a stable wifi connection and a power source, the opportunities are endless. My personal favourite place to work remotely that summer was on the front porch of my rental house, where I could sit in the sun and be surrounded by trees and fresh air. It really made working a lot more enjoyable for me.

Traffic & Commuting

When you don’t have to physically go into the office, you no longer have to commute. It’s a simple statement but it makes such a big difference. I have multiple friends who technically live and work in the GTA, but one lives in Markham and works in Mississauga, and two live in Burlington and work in Toronto. For all of them, it takes at least an hour each way to commute into work. Being able to live close to your work is a privilege that not everyone has access to. Often, people are forced to choose between a long commute and a precarious or unaffordable living situation, especially with the current housing crisis. If you work remotely, your commute becomes the 10 second walk from your bed to your desk. And that means that you get those two hours back! You can do whatever you want with them: get on top of your daily chores, get some exercise, do a hobby, spend time with loved ones. The world is your oyster because you have that extra time back in your day.

Less commuting also means that there will be less traffic. Obviously there will still be some traffic for the people who work jobs that cannot be done remotely, and travel that is not work-related. But traffic overall, especially the dreaded rush hour, will be significantly reduced. This has a lot of excellent downstream effects. Less cars on the road means that there will be less reliance on cars, and makes more space for a non-car centric way of existing. If your primary use for your car was commuting to and from work, then remote work could give you the freedom to get rid of your car. This is probably most realistic for larger households, who may be able to downsize from three cars to two cars, or from two cars to one car. This obviously reduces the costs associated with owning a car (maintenance, insurance, gas, etc etc), and likely would be a net positive for households overall.

Fewer cars on the road will also be better for the environment in multiple ways. Obviously it would reduce air pollution, which was memorably noticed during the first few months of COVID, when major cities worldwide began announcing that their smog had visibly reduced during the height of restrictions. However, vehicle emissions are not the only factor that we should be considering. Rubber particulates that are released from car tires as they wear and tear are a huge source of microplastic pollution, reportedly accounting for more than 25% of global microplastics in the environment. The auto industry itself creates so much waste and is also energy and resource intensive. Although remote work cannot by itself solve any of these problems, the chance to reduce the amount of cars on the road, or even reduce the overall amount of cars in use is absolutely one that we should be pursuing. It’s also worth noting that the reduction of cars on the road would help reduce the amount of car accident-related injuries and deaths, for both drivers and pedestrians.

Pivoting away from cars, widespread remote work also has the power to change how public transit infrastructure is planned. Many major cities, including my hometown of Toronto, have their transit prioritized to shuttle office workers to and from the downtown core. This is great if you actually need to go downtown, but makes it a lot more inconvenient to use transit to get across town, say from North York to East York. If there were fewer workers commuting downtown for the traditional 9-5 workday, it would free up transit resources. Instead of being forced to focus on adding capacity to the existing downtown pipelines, they could create brand new routes that spread access more equitably around the whole city.

Illness

Remote working is generally a much more supportive environment for people with illnesses. Let’s start with acute illnesses: a strong work from home policy means that people no longer have to come into the office when they are sick. No one likes it when their coworkers come into work with a cold; it’s easy to spread germs and become the office patient zero. And yet many people struggle with the idea of taking time off for minor illnesses. I personally struggle with this even though I have a healthy sick day allowance, because I don’t feel like a common cold warrants me taking off 5-7 days of work. If I was able to work from home, it would be a non-issue: I could still work as much as I saw fit without majorly stressing out about accidentally infecting my coworkers. Remote work also benefits people with acute injuries. Say you broke your ankle and had difficulty getting to and maneuvering through the office with your cast and crutches. If you were able to work from home, you would not be forced to put unnecessary strain on your body.

Remote working is also great for people with chronic illnesses. They can save a lot of spoons by not having to commute to the office, and well as not having to do other miscellaneous tasks like packing a lunch or putting on makeup that are often necessary for in person work. A flexible remote work setup also makes it a lot easier for people to take the time needed to go to doctor’s appointments. If you have to be in the office 9-5 but you have an appointment, it often requires taking at least a half-day off in order to attend it. Whereas a flexible remote set-up could let you take a few hours in the middle of the day to visit the doctor, and make up the missing hours in the evening. Even without having an appointment, the flexibility provided by remote work would allow people with chronic illnesses to work at their own pace and take breaks as needed. A potentially underrated point in favour of remote work means that people with chronic illnesses wouldn’t have to interact with the physical environment of the office. One of my coworkers is allergic to dust, mold, and perfume, all of which are abundant at my workplace. Other things at a workplace to consider are stairs or other physical accessibility barriers (both at the office and on the way to it), non ergonomic work stations, poor ventilation, and bad HVAC settings (being too hot and too cold). In all fairness, this is based on the assumption that someone’s home is better suited to them than their office, which is likely but not guaranteed. However, I do feel like people often have more control over their living spaces than their offices, which is a major point in the favour of remote work.

Freedom to Be Home

Extending from the previous section, a lot of people consider their home to be their happy place. A place where they enjoy being, and something they have set up and arranged to their specific liking and needs. I don’t think it would be a huge exaggeration to say that most people would prefer to spend more time in their homes, instead of in the office. Homes typically have a lot more amenities than an office, such as a private bathroom, a full kitchen, and access to all of your clothes and possessions. The amount of times that I’ve forgotten something for work at home, or something for home at work is more than you would think, and I know at least that I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to lug a giant tote bag full of all of my things between the two places. Having access to your own kitchen during the work day means that people are more able eat home cooked food instead of having to spend money on unhealthy take out. Having access to your own space means that it’s much easier for you to sneak in a quick workout and shower in the middle of the day instead of having to get it at an unholy time before or after work. The standards at home are a lot more relaxed, so you can work in your own personal uniform of comfortable clothes instead of a stifling office ensemble.

Besides the comforts and luxuries of home, there are also more important reasons one might want to stay home. A big one is pets: many animals benefit from having their human around all day to interact with, instead of being cooped up all alone. If they need to be fed, walked, given medication, or just snuggled with, their human is available to meet all those needs while working from home. Being at home is also convenient if you need to receive any packages (increasingly common while the hysteria of online shopping has a firm grip on our society) or have any repairs done. The last time I had to receive a furniture delivery from Ikea, I had to specifically schedule it on a weekday that I didn’t work in order to get the pieces delivered up into my unit, and also not be charged exorbitantly for a nighttime or weekend delivery. I’m overall very lucky that my in-person job has some flexibility of hours, but it would have been even easier if I was a remote worker.

On a more serious note, being at home allows workers, primarily women, to perform more caregiving duties while still participating in the workforce. Women often bear the brunt of caregiving responsibilities in their households, which means that if the family can’t afford daycare then it’s the woman who most often stays home with the children. This means that women are participating in the workforce to a lesser extent, so they are sacrificing career growth and future earning potential. Some women ideally would like to be stay-at-home moms, and I fully support them. However, I worry for the women who, for whatever reason, want to be working mothers but are unable to work while caring for their children. Being able to work means that you have access to your own income, your own relationships, your own goals, and your own achievements. Women who don’t work and don’t have their own incomes are more easily exploited by abusive partners. So, having a remote position with flexible hours allows women to be at work while actually being at home keeping an eye on their children. It should also be a good reminder for any men who have remote jobs that they too could become the primary caregivers for their children. I clarify that I’m not implying that it’s easy to work full time while caring for your children, but it is at least possible to do so, compared to how impossible it is when you have to be in the office 9-5 every day. It also allows you to perform less intensive acts of caregiving, like picking your kids up from school, or taking your older relatives to appointments, without having to constantly sacrifice work and career. As someone who may have to care for children, and very likely will have to care for parents, this point feels more significant to me, and it’s a non-insignificant factor in my overall thoughts about having kids of my own someday.

I Agree, Remote Work Is Better!

Thanks for agreeing with me! I know I’ve been very eloquent and convincing. :) But to be fair, we should also examine some of the downsides of remote work.

Space and Equipment

I worry that companies may use remote work as an excuse to not adequately equip their workers. In the office, you are ideally provided with a computer, monitor, keyboard and mouse, a desk and a chair, and other more specialized equipment that is required for your role. When working at home, you definitely have to provide your own desk and chair, and potentially even your own tech. It unfairly puts the burden onto the worker, when this is something that the company has and should still be responsible for. In the same way, I have to recognize that not everyone has an adequate space to work from home. Traditionally, it’s the responsibility of the company to provide the office space, but in remote work that goes back on the worker. During COVID a lot of people talked about how they were stuck in their homes with absolutely nowhere to go, and while that’s more of an indictment on the lack of third spaces in our current society, it should be recognized that the office is a space that you get to go to, and might even enjoy going to.

Social Isolation

If you’ve watched any workplace comedy show then you might think that your coworkers will become your best friends, and maybe even your lovers. Television is obviously not the same as reality, but it is true that you often spend more time with your coworkers than anyone else, and that a certain bond definitely forms. I know that if I wasn’t part of this wonderful thing called Code Monkey Cafe then I would have a lot less friends, and would definitely turn more to my coworkers to fill that resulting gap in my life. As much as we love to hate them, our coworkers are indeed a major part of socialization or many workers. In a fully remote position, it becomes much harder (but not impossible) to make social connections when you are always separated by a screen. There is no longer any chatter when you first get into the office, no shared lunch breaks or coffee runs, and no holiday parties. The camera-off culture during video calls also contributes to this lack of social interaction. It’s such a relief to have your own camera off, but it’s so demoralizing to stare into a void of black boxes with no one looking back at you. At my own workplace, we have department-wide meetings once a month; part of the reason why they are such a waste of time is because we don’t actually get to interact with other members of our department. These remote meetings don’t really give us any opportunity to meaningfully connect or build solidarity with one another, and I wish that they were at least occasionally in-person.

Lack of Downtown Customers

An argument against remote work that seems to constantly be brought up is that if there are no downtown workers, the businesses that cater to downtown workers will go out of business. “Oh won’t someone think of the poor workers!” they cry, “the poor dry-cleaners, shoe-shiners, dentists, and lunch-counter workers! Will no one think of them??” Well, I am thinking of them, and I am not too distraught about it. First of all, there will still be downtown workers, because not everyone’s job can be done remotely. Second of all, why should we prioritize these downtown businesses over similar ones that are located in people’s home neighbourhoods? They too have dry-cleaners, shoe-shiners, dentists, and fast casual lunch spots. Ideally neither one of these groups would suffer, but it’s impossible to make a cake without breaking a few eggs. Frankly, I think a widespread shift to remote work would be an excellent opportunity to make more mixed-use neighbourhoods, and redistribute resources around the city instead of only focusing them in certain high-value areas (like the downtown core). This also ties into one of the major reasons that companies are forcing their workers back to being in-person: their office buildings are languishing empty. Corporations have egg on their faces for wasting all this money on a large workspace, and they’re forcing people back to the office just so that they don’t look embarrassing to shareholders. This too could be a great reason to consider redeveloping downtown areas to become more mixed use, but no one wants to foot the bill for the renovations. Tragically, most office buildings can not simply be converted into apartment units with a wave of a magic wand, no matter how much I might want that to be true. But there has to be a happy medium between empty offices and forcing people back to in-person work just to save face.

What does this all mean?

Hopefully you still believe in the many benefits of widespread remote work. All of these advantages that I’ve talked about so far are worthwhile and worth keeping. I’m a firm believer in a healthy work-life balance; whenever possible, people should be working to live, instead of living to work. The flexibility and opportunities granted by remote work can help make the need to work more tolerable and manageable, as well as more affordable.

The return to office mandates that have recently become popular destroy all of the things. Return to office means a return to commuting, pollution, traffic, illness, being uncomfortable, barriers to working, and much more. It should also be noted that the return to office mandates aren’t even being done well. There are hundreds of stories about offices that are not large or private enough to accommodate workers and their tasks, people schlepping themselves to the office just to be on remote calls all day, overcrowded and underfunded amenities and services. But most of all, people are less happy and less productive. Remote work wasn’t perfect, but it granted a lot of possibilities that we could have only dreamed of pre-COVID shutdowns, and it shouldn’t be arbitrarily taken away based on the whims of CEOs and politicians.

And that, my friends, is why I think Return to Office is stupid.

What does the word “football” mean to you? As I'm sure you're aware, this is a controversial question. To the majority of native-born English speakers, “football” refers to the gridiron variety originating in Canada and most popular now in the United States. However, “native-born” is doing much work here, as the majority of the native Anglophone population – 260 million out of 400 million globally – are born in the United States and Canada, skewing the statistics significantly. When restricted to the regional rather than global level, native born English speakers referring to football are actually referring to the most traditionally popular variant of ball-sports-played-on-foot in that region. Indeed, if you were to travel to every former British colony where English remains the dominant language, you would hear the lone word “football” used to refer to Soccer, American Football, Canadian Football, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Australian Football, and Gaelic Football without qualifier. But why? Why are these sports all called football? Which sport was called “football” first? Who owns the term “football?” Should we even call Gridiron and Rugby football “football” when the “balls” in question are lemon and egg shaped respectively and both games have very little kicking?¹ Why does the Wikipedia article for each of these sports reference something called “Medieval Football?” What even is that? Answering these questions was one of two things motivating this article. The other was Blood Bowl, a board game set in a medieval fantasy world with Orcs, Elves, and other such creatures. Instead of fighting on battlefields, these fantasy creatures resolve their differences in a violent sports competition nominally inspired by American Football.² Playing Blood Bowl made me curious: what were the antecedents of modern football games actually like? Is the lore of Blood Bowl, in fact, real life?

Episkyros and Harpastum

It may (or may not) surprise you, but all the games that Anglophones call football allegedly share one common ancestor. In Sparta starting from at the latest 800 BC, a game possibly meant to train young boys to operate as a unit (as claimed by later sources) was developed. The game was called επίσκυρος (episkyros or episkuros), meaning “upon the stone debris” or ocassionally eπίκοινος (epikoinos), meaning “upon or in the common”.³ The game was played on a rectangular field of unknown size, with 3 lines crossing the field horizontally, one at each end and one through the centre. The centre line was referred to as the eponymous “skyros,” specifically because it was typically marked with chips of limestone. The two teams started an unknown distance off the line, and a ball of unknown construction (probably a stuffed animal bladder) was placed on the line by a neutral party. The two teams would then either fight for the ball or determine who starts with the ball in some other fashion (sources vary). The goal of each team was to throw the ball over the heads of the other team and past the line at the other team's end of the field, at which point the game would end immediately.

How exactly the game worked beyond the very beginning and end is not clear.⁵ As will become a consistent pattern throughout most of western history, Greek intellectuals were seemingly too embarrassed by the existence of team sports (as opposed to the individualistic achievements celebrated in the Olympics) to write meticulous accounts of the game. Nonetheless, the game spread out of Sparta and was so popular that at one point a Macedonian Episkyros player was allegedly granted honorary citizenship of Athens in celebration of his talents. As Athenaeus recounts in Deipnosophistai: “The Athenians made Aristonicus the Carystian, Alexander's ball-player, a citizen of their city on account of his skill, and they erected a statue to him.” Now obviously the Athenians had an ulterior motive: sucking up to Alexander the Great, but it is worth noting that Episkyros was a popular enough sport that the ruling class of Athens used prowess in it as a pretext for extending favour.

The Romans, in their typical fashion, allegedly⁴ copied the Greek Episkyros and adapted it to fit their own sensibilities. In the 2nd century BC, following the Roman Republic's ultimate subjugation of Greece, the story goes, the victorious Roman soldiers brought Episkyros home with them. Unlike the Greeks, who were ashamed of the game's popularity with the lower classes, the writers of Roman records found Harpastum worth describing and on occasion, even encouraged their readers to give the sport a chance. The physician and author of medical texts Claudius Galenus (Galen) recommended Harpastum, stating: “[Harpastum is] greater than wrestling or running because it exercises every part of the body, takes up little time, and costs nothing [...] it is a profitable training in strategy.” and “When, for example, people face each other, vigorously attempting to prevent each other from taking the space between, this exercise is a very heavy, vigorous one, involving much use of the hold by the neck, and many wrestling holds.”

It is thanks to this unashamed embrace of Harpastum as a harmless hobby that we know so much about it. Based on my review of descriptions of the game by Pollux, Apollinaris, Galen, Antiphones, Sidonious, as well as a reading of Marindin's 1890 collection of notes on Harpastum, I was able to reconstruct the most common rules.⁶ Harpastum was played on a rectangular field, probably between 80 and 120 metres long and 40 to 60 metres wide. As with Episkyros, three important lines were marked: end zone lines at the far ends of the field, and a centre line at the exact midpoint of the field. The objective of the game was to throw the ball on to the ground within the width of the field but past the line indicating the other team's end zone. The two teams could advance the ball and stop the ball's advance however they liked, almost always in hand a la Rugby as opposed to kicking the ball along a la Soccer. Unlike in Episkyros, where a team scoring immediately ended the game, Harpastum was scored in points with the winning team being whichever had more points at the end of play.

The teams would be equally sized, and could have as few as 5 and as many as 15 players on the field at a time. Antiphones and Sidonious describe three positionals: the Standing players (Stantes), Middle Runners (Medicurrens), and Forwards. Each of these positions specialized into one or two specific skills important to succeeding at Harpastum. The Stantes, equivalent to a hybrid of a Safety and pocket passing Quarterback in American Football or a Fullback in Rugby Football, was tasked with standing in defense by their team's endzone. Typically large and strong but not particularly agile, if a Stantes came into possession of the ball somehow, they were expected to be able to throw it back quite far to a friendly Medicurrens. The Medicurrens were midfield players, specialized in quick running, short passes, and juking out defenders. The Medicurrens also acted as the principle ball carriers, and were typically the player expected to score points. It should be no surprise that the Medicurrens was the most exciting and prestigious of the positionals. Antiphanes describes watching a particularly adept Medicurrens: “He seized the ball and passed it to a team-mate while dodging another and laughing. He pushed it out of the way of another. Another fellow player he raised to his feet. All the while the crowd resounded with shouts of Out of bounds, Too far, Right beside him, Over his head, On the ground, Up in the air, Too short, Pass it back in the middle.” Medicurrens, when faced with a prospective tackle were supposed to be able to dump the ball off quick to one of their fellows and had a reputation for wily trickiness. The trickiness of a good Medicurrens was the source of Harpastum's nickname “phaininda” (to deceive), as Pollux recounts: “Phaininda takes its name from Phaenides, who first invented it,⁷ or from phenakizein (“to deceive”), because they show the ball to one man and then throw to another, contrary to expectation.” Fans of Gridiron Football should recognize the play Pollux is describing as a “pump fake”. The final positional was the Forward. Forwards were mobile to a lesser degree than a Medicurrens, but stronger. Somewhere between the lumbering Stantes and agile Medicurrens in build, the Forward's job principally was to brawl and tackle. As the ball was advanced, Forwards on attack were supposed to block down defenders while on defense Forwards were supposed to bring down the ball carrier while ruining passing attempts. The exact mechanism by which the ball would change possession isn't entirely clear, but it appears that the most common cause of turnovers was intercepted passes.

Harpastum was a game of incredible violence. The historical record of the game is replete with injuries not just of the players themselves but bystanders as well. Harpastum related injuries over the centuries included broken legs, arms, and backs. In one incident, a man receiving a hair cut or a shave at a tonstrina (barbershop) was killed when a pickup game of street ball spilled over into the store. The brutality of the game is not surprising if it is indeed based on Episkyros, as the original Greek game was intended to teach young men martial skills.

The Roman Empire was massive and long-lived, and Harpastum retained popularity throughout most of its existence and across most of its territory. However, for whatever reason following the split of the Roman empire into West (based in Italy) and East (based in Greece), Harpastum declined precipitously in popularity in the Eastern half. As the classical era gave way to the medieval in the Eastern Mediterranean, Harpastum died out there. In the west on the other hand, even after the Roman Empire's collapse, the game would survive and eventually evolve into what sports historians call “Medieval Football.”

Knights in Shining Shoulder Pads

If you look at the Wikipedia articles for any game that calls itself Football in the present day, it will list a mysterious game called “Medieval Football” as its direct ancestor, presumably removed by only a couple of generations or even less. What exactly is this? Unlike Harpastum which was in general one game with slight regional variations, Medieval Football was a broad spectrum of independent games that almost certainly branched off of Harpastum and then may have then syncretized with some local indigenous ball games in the former territory of the Western Roman Empire. Trying to pin down what exactly Medieval Football games were is further complicated by the return of the shameful connotation of the ball-playing sports in Western Europe in this time. When reconstructing these games, we can't rely on the same level of in depth description that we have for Harpastum, instead many of these games are referenced by contemporary sources only in passing and often with a dismissive attitude.

In general, however, it appears that the successor games in the former Roman territories branched off into two subsets following Rome's collapse: “carrying” games and “kicking” games (so labeled in Francis Willughby's post-medieval 1660 text Book of Games), differentiated by the principle action through which the ball was advanced down field. From around the 6th century AD until around the 13th century AD, both variants were interchangeably referred to in England as “playing ball” (literally pila ludicra according to the Venerable Bede or pilae ludus by Nennius) and after the 14th century AD as simply “foot ball” or “football.” Little is recorded in primary sources about the rules of these games until the early modern era. What we do know for sure, however, was that these games were both extremely popular and extremely violent.

As with Harpastum, there were typically no or few limits in either version of medieval football on how violent the contest could be. In multiple cases in medieval England, players were charged with murder for killing opponents during the game.⁸ It should be no surprise then, that the legal authorities of the middle ages in Britain and France (where football was most popular) cracked down on the game frequently. In fact the first recorded instance of the word “football” in the English language was a legal edict issued by the mayor of London banning football games in the streets of London.⁹

Despite their violent nature, football games (of the carrying type especially) took on a literally religious significance in England. The carrying game of football acquired the nickname “Shrovetide Football” in medieval England, as large semi-official exhibition games were organized around Christmas, Easter, and Shrove Tuesday. In fact, these games are still practiced in England to this day in certain parts of the country. Shrovetide football has few rules – except for avoiding manslaughter and grievous harm. Instead of being played on a ~100 metre field, the game is played on the entire space between two villages or neighbourhoods. Each participating polity has a traditional stone or marker for the purpose of playing football and the winner of the Shrovetide game is whichever polity touches the ball to the other polity's marker first. Under traditional Shrovetide rules, there are no restrictions on how the ball can be moved. It is and was not uncommon for the ball to be advanced on horseback (or in a motor vehicle today).

The association of the carrying game with religious festivals was significant enough that it led to their suppression under the Cromwell regime in the 1640s and 50s .¹⁰ Both causes for legalistic suppression of football – religious and in the name of public order – failed miserably. In the middle ages, when the state machinery was primitive, such edicts were simply ignored without consequence. Under the republican regime (arguably the first modern state in Europe) the ban was actually enforced to disastrous effect. 13 citizens engaged in a friendly match of the kicking game were arrested by military authorities in the town of Scarborough in January of 1660.¹¹ On the same day in Bristol, military authorities interceded to break up a football game of the carrying variety. Both towns erupted into riots, which spread to other cities where football was popular. By March 30th, restrictions on football where walked back by most regional authorities and football fans had seized the city hall of York “in warlike manner…with halberds, swords, muskets, fowling pieces and other guns and weapons” (according to a paper by Professor Bernard Capp of the University of Warwick) and demanded a nation-wide end to restrictions on ball playing. The republican government revoked all bans, but not before fining the ringleaders of the York rioters £10 each for “instigating publick disorder.”

In order to reconstruct the medieval form of football, we will rely on the early modern writingof Francis Willughby in his Book of Games. Although Willughby was writing as late as the 1660s, his extensive description of football is the first of its kind since the Roman period. He was writing during a renewed embrace of public sport by the British aristocracy following the downfall of the republican dictatorship, when even a sport as low-brow as football was allowed an academic treatment. Willughby refers to the kicking game as “football” and lays out the rules:

They blow a strong bladder and tie the neck of it as fast as they can, and then put it into the skin of a buls cod and sow it fast in. They play in a longe streete, or a close that has a gate at either end. The gates are called Gaols, as A B, C D. The ball is thrown up in the middle between the gaols, as about O, the plaiers beeing æqually divided according to their strength and nimblenesse. A plaiers must kick the ball towards C D gaol, C plaiers towards A B gaol, and they that can strike the ball thorough their enemies gaol first win. They usually leave some of their best plaiers to gard the gaol while the rest follow the ball.

They often breake one anothers shins when two meete and strike both togather against the ball, & therefore there is a law that they must not strike higher then the ball. Tripping Up of Heels is when one followes one of his enemies & to prevent him from striking the ball strikes that foot as hee runs, that is from the ground, which catching against the other foote makes him fall. All the slight is to hit that foot that is mooving and just taken from the ground, & then a little touch makes him fall. Suppose a foot fixed, b mooving from n to m. If it bee strooke on the outside before it comes to C, just against the fixed foote, it falls crosse behind the fixed foot at L and makes him fall. The harder the ball is blowne, the better it flys. They use to put quicksilver into it sometimes to keep it from lying still. The plaiers must at first stand all at their gaols, the ball lying just in the middle betweene them, & they that can run best get the first kick. In this we can see that the kicking form of football has already become significantly less violent that its ancestor game of Harpastum, even before the Cambridge rules neutered it totally. Even so, it seems that while you could not tackle your opponent outright (“therefore there is a law that they must not strike higher than the ball”), you could still trip them down. Willughby describes the carrying game – which he refers to as hurling – as follows:

Hurling is divided into In-Hurling & Out-Hurling. The first is thus. After 20 men or thereabouts are numbered on either party, one takes a leather ball & tosses it up in the midst betweene both sides. He that catches it endeavours to run away with it to the adverse goale. If one of the opposites stop him, either he wrestles (then the ball is throwne to one on his owne side, but the others may intercept it, & taken by one of his owne party, who runs away with it towards the contrary goale &c.) or throwes it if he can to one of his owne side & refuses to wrestle. Outhurling is playd by one parish against another, or Easterne men against the Westerne, or Cornwall against Devonshire. They play in the same manner as the other, but make churches, townes &c. theire goales. If any of them can hold of a stirrop he is not denyed liberty to run with the ball in his hand as fast as the horse goes. Other horses are engaged against him. They runne through the worst of places, quagmires &c. If he that tosses up the ball at the first be not in the middle, he is then to hurle at the furthest goale. Any one that can procure leave from the next Justice of Peace, goes into a markett towne & holds in his hand a wooden ball covered with a silver plate, & by a proclamation invites all that will come to a Hurling, mentioning the time & place. This fellow that finds the ball gathers mony of those that play.

What interest me about this passage is that it actually divides the carrying game in two: it describes a carrying game obviously very similar to Harpastum (“In-Hurling”) and Shrovetide football (“Out-Hurling”). If these were indeed considered separate games – and we have no reason to suppose otherwise – then it implies that it is the “in-hurling” variety that serves as the one-generation antecedent of Gridiron Football and Rugby rather than the academic consensus ancestor Shrovetide football. It is also worth noting that Willughby only gives the name “football” to the kicking game, which is unusual for the time. This is the earliest example I could find claiming that the kicking game and carrying games were in fact separate families rather than the same amorphous game played by the common mobs.

Modern Football

The word “Modern” in the historiographical sense refers to the period of history following the rapid social changes of the 15th and 16th centuries, but in the study of football “modern” (as distinct from “medieval”) refers to the games played after football transitioned from being a sport played by common people to a game with rigidly defined rules developed by the growing bourgeois upper class in the 19th century. The bourgeoisie – who were born from the urban merchant and business owning classes of medieval Europe – were themselves very recently “common” people, meaning that as they rose to power in the states of Europe in the 18th and 19th centuries, common athletic pastimes like football rose with them and eclipsed sports with a more aristocratic tinge.

If any singular transition from medieval to modern football can be pinned down, it must be what occurred in 1845 at the Rugby School in Warwickshire, England. Rugby was a school founded in the 1500s as a “public” school opened to the children of any family able to pay for tuition.¹² By the 19th century, this meant that it was one of the network of prestigious schools that trained generations of British colonial administrators, army officers, and sea captains alongside Eton, Harrow, and Winchester College.¹³ It makes sense then, as a nucleus of bourgeois culture, that Rugby would take a game as diverse and nebulously defined as British football and attempt to constrain it to a consistent and rational ruleset. The bourgeoisie have always prided themselves on doing away with medieval superstition and irrationality in favour of sterile and liberal rationalism.

The ruleset that Rugby developed was based on the carrying game of football rather than the kicking game and was inspired by the rules of medieval football that happened to be most popular in the Warwickshire area. The rules as they were laid out in 1845 were written by the physical education department of the school and you can read them in their original form here if you really want to, although there are some glaring omissions (how many points is a try?). The rules were quite similar to modern rugby (of both kinds). The original game of rugby was played on a 110 yard by 65 yard field with 10 yard endzones. The goal of the game was to touch the ball to the ground in the other team's end zone (worth 5 points) at which point you would be given the opportunity to score more points (2) by kicking the ball through upright poles at the front of each endzone. The ball could only be advanced forward by kicking it or carrying it, but could be thrown laterally or backwards. Tackled ball carriers had to relinquish control of the ball to a teammate and players without the ball could only be tackled by the ball carrier.

Immediately the codified game of Rugby became immensely popular with the upper and middle classes of the British Empire. As it spread outwards through the empire, it was tweaked by the settlers who brought it with them to colonial schools. The first of these tweaked versions of football was Australian rules football in 1858, followed shortly after by Canadian football in 1861 (developed right here in Toronto, Ontario). By 1863, Rugby football had escaped the culture of the bourgeois upper-crust and had become popular in England as a general past-time enjoyed by all. Calls went out to further refine a unified code of football and the “Football Association” (FA) was founded by a network of donors interested in the sport and set about writing a new universal code for the game. However, things took a strange turn. The document returned by the FA was not at all like Rugby. It banned hard hits and tackles, ball carrying, and replaced the end-zones with goals. The FA had based their new rules not on the carrying game as many of the organization's initial donors had presumed they would, but instead on the kicking game of football. This result was polarizing, with those donor institutions that were unwilling to accept the new rules leaving the FA in its first year of operation and organizing their own competitor the “Rugby Football Union” by 1871. Eventually, the FA rules would become more popular with the British public, which is why soccer is referred to as “football” in England and “soccer” in the rest of the Anglosphere, where local variants of Rugby had already been established by the time of the FA/RFU split.¹⁴ Rugby is still played at a high level in England despite soccer's much greater popularity, but it has attained a reputation for being a bit of a snobbish sport enjoyed by Eton alumni.

Aside on the history of American Football

If you google “when was the first game of American Football played” or “first game of College Football” you will be served factually incorrect information. This has been my pet peeve and a thorn in my side since before I began writing and researching this article. The false information is the following: “What is considered to be the first American football game was played on November 6, 1869, between Rutgers and Princeton, two college teams.” This quote is lifted directly from Wikipedia. This is not correct. American Football is a SPECIFIC sport. It is not just any old game of football played on American soil! I have even seen this claim repeated by so called sports ““academics”“.¹⁵

American Football is a Rugby-descended sport played on a gridiron where the ball is moved by carrying it. There are very restrictive rules on when players are and are not allowed to kick the ball intentionally. I ask you this: does this sound like American football to you? “[The game] consisted of 25 players per team and used a round ball that could not be picked up or carried. It could, however, be kicked or batted with the feet, hands, head, or sides, with the objective being to advance it into the opponent's goal. Rutgers won the game 6–4.” This is not American Football! This is the kicking game of football! What Rutgers and Princeton were playing was a more civilized version of American kicking game “mob football” (as medieval football was called at the time). It is basically soccer. It has no relation to American Football in any way other than being a game played in America with a ball on foot.

The first game of American Football, as I explained in my article about Canadian Football, was played in 1874 between McGill and Harvard. American Football is directly descended from Canadian Football and has absolutely no relation at all to the so called “American Football” game played between Princeton and Rutgers in 1869. It is a genuine disgrace that the NCAA lists the “1869 season” in their College Football archive. The first actual season of College Football was played in 1874 after the McGill-Harvard game with rules inspired by Rugby Football and was won by an undefeated Yale team who went 3-0-0 that year.

The biggest mystery of all is why this is even claimed – and so widely! It is not like this game was the first time a game of medieval (pre-Rugby) football was played in the United States of America. Are Americans just too chauvinistic to admit that their national pastime was not invented in America? They have to claim the 1869 Princeton Rutgers game was American Football because otherwise they would have to admit that the first Gridiron game was played in Toronto? Not only is this unfair to our country, it is also unfair to the Yale football program who should rightly be credited as the first NCAA champions (not Rutgers).

The Football Family Tree

Based on my study on the games pretending to the name “football,” we can roughly organize the history of the sports into a single family tree extending back to Episkyros. This family tree is exhibited in the following diagram:

Extinct antecedents of modern football are shown in red. Games that are played ceremonially but do not have professional infrastructure are shown in yellow. Games with professional leagues are shown in green. Lines show both confirmed and alleged descent. I have left Shrovetide football as the ancestor of Gridiron football and Rugby football rather than differentiating between “In-Hurling” and “Out-Hurling”, as is the scholarly consensus. Calcio Storico Fiorentino¹⁵ and its tenuous connection to carrying game of football is included as a teaser for a future appendix article investigating a dubious claim I found in a late medieval source alleging Italian influence on the development of football in England.

Conclusion

So who owns the name “football” then? Well, nobody, really. The name itself is an invention of the middle ages and the original game or games that it describes no longer exist. Whatever game is called “football” in a specific part of the Anglosphere is more dependent on what variation of modern football was more popular in that region in the 19th century than on any sort of logic about the name's etymology. I will however contend the following: any game that does not allow full contact or violence of some sort should not be calling itself “football” for historical and traditional reasons. Therefore, until soccer allows full on tackling and/or fighting, FIFA should drop the name “football” from its acronym. They can take it back up when I see Messi break somebody's nose. Blood Bowl was real, and we can make it real again.

I ran out of time while writing this article, and had to stay up past my bedtime on November 30th to get it done in time. In the near future, I will go back over this article and correct any spelling or grammar errors as well as add an organized bibliography with my sources. I will also be writing an appendix article covering stuff I didn't have time for in this article, mainly about medieval football in Italy.

Footnotes

1. Despite Europeans online smugly referring to Girdiron Football as “Handegg”, the ball used in American and Canadian Football is in fact officially called a “lemon” according to the Football Canada rulebook. Perhaps calling it Footlemon would satisfy the complainers. The NFL instead refers to this shape as a “prolate spheroid,” but Footprolatespheroid simply does not roll off the tongue.
2. Blood Bowl's tagline is “the real game of fantasy football” and officially claims to be inspired by American Football, but Blood Bowl actually bears little resemblance beyond the superficial to the real life sport. Indeed, with the lack of play stoppage and inherently limited substitutions, the game is more like rugby with no onsides rule and legal forward passing.
3. Whether or not κοινος refers to “[upon the] common land” or “[in] common” as in “in a team” is apparently not unambiguous. I found more sources supporting the latter interpretation, however in his article Epikoinos: The Ball Game Episkuros and Illiad, David Elmer summarizes the common counterargument: “Episkuros was not the only ancient game (ball or otherwise) played in teams or groups, so that, on this view, the name would not refer to a particularly distinctive feature. “
4. Whether or not Harpastum was copied directly from Episkyros or in fact the Romans simply retroactively claimed that it was is not entirely clear. It's hard to directly compare the two games, as we have much more documentation on the procedures of Harpastum than we do on the specifics of Episkyros.
5. This hasn't stopped FIFA from claiming Episkyros as the original game of Soccer. Technically, they are correct, in the sense that English medieval football descends from Episkyros by way of Harpastum, but one of the few things we know about Episkyros is that very little kicking of the ball was involved.
6. I say most common rules because like all pre-modern sports games, there was not necessarily a universally agreed upon set. The Roman empire was massive, and Harpastum was played from Scotland to Egypt, with presumably many tweaks to rules from region to region.
7. Almost certainly not.
8. As the English version of the edict reads: “forasmuch as there is great noise in the city caused by hustling over footballs in the fields of the public from which many evils might arise which God forbid: we command and forbid on behalf of the king, on pain of imprisonment, such game to be used in the city in the future.” The edict was also issued in French, wherein the football is referred to as “pelote de pee” (lol).
9. This was especially common in university towns, frequently with both the perpetrator and the victim being a young student. In the most famous incident, a group of unnamed Irish students murdered an English student named Adam of Salisbury during the course of a game played on the streets of Oxford.
10. Cromwell was England's head of state during the country's brief republican period. Despite the radically progressive nature of his regime, he and his core supporters were devout puritans. Puritans were egalitarian minded (based) but also opposed all public displays of fun and all religious holidays (cringe).
11. Although the republican era is usually associated with the austere character of Oliver Cromwell, this was actually during the reign of the republic's 3rd and final head of state: Committee of Safety Commander-in-Chief Charles Fleetwood.
12. This is why in Britain a “public” school actually refers to a school that rich kids go to (what we would call a private school). They are not “public” in the sense of public ownership but public in the sens that anyone of sufficient net worth may attend.
13. The influence of these schools was so great on the new British upper class of the 18th and 19th centuries that the Duke of Wellington himself once claimed “the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.”
14. The word “soccer” itself comes from a 19th century fad in English slang. At the time, it was common to add the syllable “er” to the end or replace the final syllable of words as a joke. As a result, “Association Football” (as FA rules football was called) was shortened to “Assoccer” and finally “soccer”.
15. John Eisenberg – you better PRAY I don't see you in the streets of North York. This is a threat. I am putting this in the footnotes because it's less likely your lawyer will find it.

(Ants in their dark ranks, meet exactly so, rubbing each other’s noses, to ask perhaps What luck they’ve had, or which way they should go.)

—Dante, Purgatorio, Canto XXVI

I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but I love to read specific books at specific times. I read Around the World in 80 Days whenever I’m on a road trip. I read The Plague whenever I get sick¹. And every spring, I find myself reading Ant Encounters by Deborah Gordon.

I’m not sure why I find ants so interesting. My fascination with them certainly doesn’t carry over to any other bug or insect, which for the most part I am grossed out by. All creepy crawlies, really. I had pet hermit crabs as a kid and while my brothers were happy to hold them, I could not stand the feeling of their tiny legs crawling across my palm. Spiders I have a primal aversion to. I do not want to touch moths, caterpillars, grasshoppers, beetles, bees, or ladybugs.

But ants I’m chill with.

I think it must’ve come from a place of early childhood wonder and confusion: How do ants actually do anything?

Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk and seen a large black splotch on the pavement… only to realize it's a swarm of ants moving a discarded lollipop? Then you know the experience. Hundreds, thousands, of tiny critters all working together under a single will to achieve things otherwise impossible for them.

Somehow these vast and complex ant colonies build nests, forage for food, wage wars with other colonies, farm fungus, weave nests from larvae silk, kill plants with acid injection, conduct raids across forests, and cover food with leaves to hide it from scavengers. And believe me, ants do not have very big brains! So, how does it all get done?

The answer to how ants are able to do this changes as our own understanding of organization evolves. Let’s jump into Gordon’s Ant Encounters to learn about two of my favourite things: dynamic systems theory… and ants!

I suppose it’s only natural I love ants because I am equally fascinated by dynamic, complex, non-linear systems. I remember being a first year university student and watching videos on Youtube about those bird flock simulations known as boids. I’m sure anyone who has a computer science degree has seen these before…

Beautiful boids flying together in a virtual sky.

What makes boids so interesting — in my opinion — is how this behaviour emerges from extremely simplistic rules programmed into each boid. Just three rules:

1) Separation – Each boid moves away from other boids nearby to avoid collisions.

2) Alignment – Each boid adjusts its velocity to the average of boids around it, causing the flock to move in a general direction.

3) Cohesion – Each boid steers towards the average center of mass of boids around it, ensuring group integrity.

There is no global pattern or overseer that the little arrows are following. From these three simple internal rules, complex flocking patterns emerge, just like in real life. Similar rules govern real birds, swarms of fish, flying insects. Even groups of people driving cars are a sort of dynamic system. There are more rules than just three, but from very simple interactions (stop at red, drive at green, let pedestrians cross, etc.) a self-adjusting and self-sufficient system is born that works… most of the time. When it fails, it’s catastrophic and you are stuck in traffic for hours and hours… but it's still impressive that we can shuttle thousands of people on asphalt grids with minimal inter-vehicle communication between them all.

Ant Encounters starts off with a historical account of ant research. As long as there have been humans, there have been humans fascinated with ants². As we saw in Purgatorio at the top of the article (which is also quoted at the beginning of the book), Dante poetically muses that ants rub noses as a way to tell each other what to do and where to go. In Proverbs 6:6, we read: “Look to the ant, thou sluggard—consider her ways and be wise. Without chief, overseer or ruler, she gathers the harvest in the summer to eat in the winter.”

Yes, sluggard, consider the ant!

But don’t ants have a ruler? What about their queen?

It is true that in all 11,000 species of ants, there is always a single (or a few) reproductive females which lay eggs while the rest are sterile worker females. However, the history of the term ‘queen’ comes from 1609 in Charles Butler’s The Feminine Monarchie, or the Historie of Bees, where bees are described as loyal workers, toiling away happily under a benevolent monarch. The idea quickly spread to those researching ants and the name stuck. Monarchy then wasn’t just another human political invention, it was a reflection of the cultivated perfection found within Nature… but 200 years later, this view was beginning to change.

“In a lively discussion in the Ecole Normale in Paris in 1795, year 3 of the French Revolution, Daubenton, a professor of natural history, argued that there is no royalty in nature—for example, the queen bee does nothing more than lay eggs. His colleague Latreille wrote in 1798 that the ants in the colony are not really subjugated workers; instead, the colony has 'a single will, a single law' based on the love each ant feels for the others.” (pg. 2)

As political structures around Europe twisted and turned and flipped, so did the way we see and investigate nature. Kropotkin, famous anarchist writer, sees in woodcutter ants co-operation rather than competition as the driving force in natural organization. Even towards the current day, we see modern life and fears reflected in our tiny friends.

“In The Book of Merlyn by T. H. White, Merlin transforms the young Arthur into an ant and sends him to work in a desolate tunnel with loudspeakers blaring allegiance to an ant Big Brother and walls plastered with signs reading 'Everything not forbidden is compulsory.' More recently, movies such as Antz, It’s a Bug’s Life, and The Ant Bully show the colony as a corporation with more or less disgruntled workers.” (pg. 4)

As modern ecology begins to come out of the 19th and 20th century, an interesting point is made: individual ants don’t actually reproduce. Colonies reproduce, by sending out new queens and males to mate with other colony representatives. Ants don’t create new ants. Colonies create new colonies. In an ecological sense, it’s not the ant which is the organism, but the colony itself; a sort of “super-organism” wherein all the ants make up the cells and organs and internal processes.

It’s like a body without skin needing to hold everything together, where the parts freely move about, arranging and moving food, waste, and eggs. A colony is, in a sense, those cells — and a nest is its temporary body. In some ways, the ants are also like individual neurons in a brain. I hope I’m not pressing the point too hard, but I just find the concept of a super-organism so bizarre and alien, a body made of bodies, that I really want to emphasize it. If your world is not enchanted, you are not paying enough attention.

Okay but enough of this (I hear you say), enough about boids and Dante and Antz, how do ants actually organize if there is no king or queen or dictator or project manager?

Well, let’s start with what ants actually do.

Gordon mostly focuses on red harvester ants (Pogonomyrmex barbatus) for her research, so we will follow her description of their roles. Here is a picture of the fellas so you can envision them in your head (or I guess if you have no thought imagery you can just keep scrolling up to look at them every now and then):

Red harvester ants. So cute!

“These seed-eating ants are common in the deserts and dry grasslands of the south-western United States, Mexico, and South America. Four tasks are performed outside the nest: foraging, patrolling, nest colony organization maintenance work, and midden work. Foragers travel away from the nest in streams reaching 10 to 30 meters from the nest and then fan out and search for seeds, which they bring back to the nest to be processed and stored. The patrollers are the first ants to leave the nest in the morning. They search the nest mound and foraging area, and choose the day’s foraging directions. It is the return of the patrollers that stimulates the foragers to begin their work for the day. Nest maintenance workers carry out the dry soil that collects inside the nest during the excavation and repair of underground chambers. Midden workers manipulate and sort the refuse pile, or midden.” (pg. 30-31)

That gives us four rough categories of work ants: 1) Foragers 2) Patrollers 3) Nest maintenance/brood care 4) Midden workers

You might be tempted to think that there are different types of ants for different roles, as I thought the same before doing further research. This is especially tempting in species with different sizes of ants within the same colony. But this would be a very unstable system. What happens if all the foragers are wiped out on patrol during a rainstorm, or all the midden workers are crushed by a cave-in? Research has also shown that even in the minority of ant species with size differentiation (only 44 of the 263 genera), there is little difference in task effectiveness between ants of different sizes. It's not so much a division of labour where some ants are born for foraging and others for midden work, but instead a term Gordon calls Task Allocation. Each of the four categories of work an ant can do is a specific task. What an ant is doing at any given time is dependent on what other ants are doing and what it is currently doing itself.

“I found that ants switch tasks if more ants are needed to perform a particular task. Not all transitions are possible. If more foragers are needed, workers of the other three tasks will switch tasks to forage. If more patrollers are needed, nest maintenance workers will switch tasks to patrolling. If more nest maintenance workers are needed, they must be recruited from the younger workers inside the nest. Then, once a worker becomes a forager, it does not switch back to any other task. Thus, foraging acts as a sink, while the younger workers inside the nest, who will be recruited to nest maintenance if needed, act as a source.” (pg. 32)

So through the life cycle of an ant (around one year for red harvester ants), it will go from an egg to a larva to a pupa to an adult. After emerging from its pupa cocoon, it immediately begins brood care — taking care of other pupa and larva, i.e. spawn in and keep doing what others were doing to help spawn you in. After some time and noticing there aren’t enough nest maintenance workers, it will switch to nest maintenance. Then if there aren’t enough patrollers, it will switch to being a patroller, and then finally to a forager if necessary. Foraging works as a sink because it often ends in predation or other death.

Now for the final piece of our puzzle: how do ants know when to switch tasks?

This comes back to what our old friend Dante³ said at the start of our article: rubbing noses. Ants have extremely limited senses. Most are limited to vague sensations of light/dark, water, vibrations. Where ants excel is their sense of smell, from which they can detect chemical signals, trail markers, members of their own brood or rival colonies, food, poison, and a host of different signals.

“The most important sensory mode of ants is olfaction. Ants use their antennae to perceive odors from objects they touch with their antennae or from the air.” (pg. 37)

So then do touching ants send signals to each other about what to do? “Need help here” one scent says, “More foragers this way, please” another smell goes. Nope, it’s much more simple and elegant than that.

“An ant uses its recent experience of interactions to decide what to do. The pattern of interaction itself, rather than any signal transferred, acts as the message.” (pg. 47-48)

The medium IS the message, literally!

“What matters is not what one ant tells another when they meet, but simply that they meet. An ant operates according to a rule such as, “If I meet another ant with odor A about three times in the next 30 seconds, I will go out to forage; if not, I will stay here.” The rules are actually more probabilistic than that—more like, “If I meet another ant with odor A about three times in the next 30 seconds, the probability that I will go out to forage will increase by about 10%; if not, it will go down by about 20%.” (pg. 48)

It's all about ants encountering ants⁴. From a series of these hard-wired, instinctual rules, ant colonies move and breathe with a fierce group intelligence. And just like boids, it’s relatively simplistic rules that in aggregate regulate the colony work allocation. No queen needed! How these individual instincts are coded or how they evolved as such I will leave as a question for science and God, but the mechanism remains as beautiful clockwork.

This ties back to how an ant switches from one task to another. If there is no change in its environment, it resumes the same task as the day before. If there are significant changes, it can reallocate itself to balance the colony equilibrium.

“An early example of the effect of interaction rate on task allocation is Wilson’s 1985 result that when the smaller workers, or minors, of Pheidole pubiventris species are removed, the larger ones, or majors, switch to perform brood care. This is the outcome of a simple rule of interaction: when majors met minors near the brood pile, they turned away. When minors were removed, there were fewer minors around. This meant that majors were less likely to meet minors and instead more likely to encounter other majors, and so they did not turn away, but instead stayed to help with the brood.” (pg. 49)

This smoothly replaces a suffering worker population. As more ants transition to brood work, it becomes more probable a wandering ant will encounter brood workers, and then less probable it will switch to that task.

To better illustrate this ‘interaction as the message’, Gordon gives us an experiment done to artificially prompt the ants to start foraging early. If you remember from before… patrollers go out in the morning and on arrival back, trigger the foragers to leave.

“Colony activity begins early in the morning, when a small group of patrollers leave the nest mound. This is probably stimulated by the warmth of the first touch of sunlight in the nest entrance; nests in the shade tend to begin patrolling later. The first patrollers meander around the foraging area, and eventually return to the nest. Foragers are stimulated to leave the nest for the first time in the morning by the return of the patrollers. If patrollers are prevented from returning, the foragers do not emerge. What guarantee do the returning patrollers provide? If a patroller can leave and return safely, without getting blown away by heavy wind or eaten by a horned-lizard predator, then so can a forager. The patrollers also put down a chemical on the nest mound that shows the foragers which direction to take when they leave the nest;” (pg. 51)

“We then replaced the patrollers with patroller mimics: little glass beads coated with extract of hydrocarbons from that colony’s patrollers. We dropped glass beads into the nests of colonies whose patrollers had not returned. Glass beads treated with patroller hydrocarbon extract stimulated foraging. Glass beads treated with hydrocarbon extract from another task, nest maintenance, or treated only with solvent as a control, did not stimulate foraging activity. Contact with beads that smell like a patroller is enough to stimulate the foragers to leave the nest.” (pg. 52)

“The rate at which patrollers return is crucial to stimulate foraging. Glass beads that smell like patrollers do not stimulate foraging unless they are introduced at the correct rate. Foraging begins when patrollers return at a rate of about 6 per minute or 1 per 10 seconds, and glass beads must be introduced at a rate of 1 per 10 seconds or foraging does not begin. One of the few ways we have ever succeeded in getting ants to do our bidding was to drop in beads coated with patroller extract at the rate of 1 per 10 seconds before foraging began. We were able to trick colonies into starting to forage earlier.” (pg. 52)

Awesome! I wish my job was to trick ants with smelly glass beads!

You could also see how these micro-interactions can quickly propagate across a group of ants, even across the entire colony, in a matter of moments.

“Many ant species use chemicals to signal alarm. Alarm pheromones are volatile, dispersing quickly in the air. Alarmed ants often run around in circles, sending out more pheromone that gets more ants running around in circles, so there is a spreading wave of alarmed ants. Alarmed ants are likely to react aggressively to whatever they meet as they dash around.” (pg. 40)

Before I go on, I want to mention a cool tidbit from the book that ties into this interaction story. I’m sure you have heard of that experiment where an ant was covered in ‘death pheromones’ and taken to the midden (trash/graveyard of the hive) by fellow hivemates, still kickin’ and screamin’. This experiment isn’t pop culture science, it is a real experiment and it does prove how much olfaction drives ants behavior. But as Gordon explains, the common story you hear leaves out a crucial detail: the “dead” ants were covered in death pheromones AFTER the scientists cooled them in a fridge until they stopped moving. Aw c’mon, that’s cheating! I’d like you to try to tell if someone is alive if giant aliens paralyzed them and made their heartbeat undetectable!

Still, there are many mysteries about ant life and memory. How long can an ant really remember something? Most of the behaviour is instinctual and automatic, but still trails need to be remembered and jobs need to be tracked. I’ll leave you with a final anecdote from Gordon’s research:

“Rosengren found that in the spring, an older ant, which survived over the winter, leads a young ant out on its preferred trail. Then the old ant dies, and the young ant adopts that trail. The older forager must remember to go on the same trail at the end of the winter as it did in the autumn, and the young forager must remember, from one day to the next, to go on the trail that the older one showed it the day before—but the colony remembers the trail for decades.” (pg. 62)

Ant intern to senior worker… :’)

If any of this interests you in the slightest, I’d give Ant Encounters a try. Especially in the Spring, once the snow begins to melt and you can read it in the park on a picnic blanket. It’s quite short too, around 180 pages. I only discussed some of the history and ant interactions, the rest of the book is full of discussion about ant colony life cycles, colony interactions, and all sorts of other goodies, including many fun insect anecdotes from Gordon’s decades of studies.

The truth is that, even now, we know next to nothing about ants. Of the 11,000 species, only about 50 have really been studied in depth. And it is hard to study ant life, given how small they are. I’m sure you can imagine how difficult it is to even detect the micro-scents that govern so much of their miniscule lives. Most of the experiments Gordon herself conducted had to be done by capturing ants and marking them with tiny dots of paint. That’s not light work!

Some of the biggest mysteries are around early life for ants… It’s tough to mark and inspect ants deep underground inside a nest without fundamentally altering that nest. Many mysteries have been solved, but ants still find ways to surprise and impress us. I’m sure as our human understanding of organization and complexity changes, so will our relation to our tiny friends.

“Not many people have taken the time to watch ants carefully. In the nineteenth century, the English took their obsessions with birds and wildflowers around the world, to the great benefit of ornithology and botany, but have you ever heard of a local ant-watchers club?” (pg. 16)

Well…. anyone want to start one?

Stay frosty, Noah Ant-Watchers Club – 001 – York Region Chapter

_{making this image was painful}

a very, very, very brief history of women's watches

As one can expect, in the west women were excluded from the watch club early on, as the early watches were only pocket watches. Those were expensive and reserved for the elite, and elite women's garments were pocketless. Therefore women aristocrats, starting in the early 1800s, commissioned smaller watches that could be affixed to broches, necklaces and bracelets. We got the very first wristwatch, which is exclusively what we mean now when talking about watches, thanks to Queen Caroline Bonaparte Murat of Naples. It was a french made watch, built by Breguet in 1812.

_{the original was lost, this is the contemporary version, still by Breguet (the brand not the dude this time)}

The following ones were were also commissioned by women. Still, wrist watches were extremely costly and completely out of the grasp of the average woman, only being worn by the tippity top of the aristocracy. Not gonna lie, there's not a ton of info about the everyday woman's watches in history, during my research articles either talked about men or watches, but not women. It seems like then most of the women watches were confined strictly to the jewellery domain, and therefore unattainable for the majority. During WWI wristwatches started gaining popularity, and after the Great War we start seeing more varied designs — but there is no info specifically about women. Watches did get much simpler and “function over form” during WW2, but the production was not aimed towards women. And it is still not aimed towards women.

Sexism and gatekeeping did play a part in this, even as recently as the beginning of the century. Reading an article, I came across this IWC ad from November 2000, which I'm sure some chud somewhere thinks is awesome:

It reads “is nothing sacred? You'd think that a mechanical chronograph with a drag hand (maximum indicator) to measure intermediate elapsed time or a second timing cycle would be enough to put her off . No such luck. That's why we specifically made the Portuguese Chrono-(illegible) with a wider wrist — just in case she gets any ideas. Ref. 3712. £4895. Also available in 18 carat pink gold. IWC. Since 1868. And for as long as there are men.“

Although that line about pink gold is unintentionally very funny and ironic, if major watch brands were brazen enough to use this sexist garbage in their advertising in the 2000s, one can only imagine what the industry was like before in terms of sexism and gatekeeping.

I have my own theories about why it was like that: First, on the sexism part; women were not seen as needing a precise, tool-oriented timepiece — why would women need to tell time? They are just subservient creatures to their husbands, definitely not valuable and autonomous elements of society. Second, on the gatekeeping part; as pocket watches (distinctly male-oriented), disappeared to the profit of wristwatches in the early 1900s (then distinctly woman-oriented), the marketing tried to shy as far away from the jewellery label to capture men, make them feel secure about wearing watches and reaffirm their fragile masculinity. On the other hand, to help this, they triple-downed on the jewellery aspect of watches for women. You then had your men watches, which were rugged, technical and tool-oriented, and then your women's watches which were artful, precious and jewellery.

This also lead to the current general disinterest of women in watches; making watches artificially more of a man's thing and not catering to women would drive them away from watches. This whole talk about men and women's watch begs the question: what makes a watch a woman's watch?

what makes a watch a woman's watch?

The only differences that matter as far as watches are concerned, between men and women, are anatomical. On average a woman's wrist measures between 5.5” and 6.2” and a man's between 6.5” and 7.2”. That will influence the fit of a watch. But then, fit matters only as far as comfort and personal taste. So basically, anatomical differences are not relevant when it comes to determining if a watch is a “woman's” watch or not. And the rest of the differences are only due to social constructs.

_{this definitely fits}

Therefore, my postmodernist ass' take is that the concept of a woman's watch makes no sense. Just wear what you want and enjoy. Problem solved, there is no issue with watch brands not catering to women because there is no such thing as a woman's watch! Obviously there is still an issue here, if there is nothing that women want to wear and enjoy wearing, then the problem is not solved. This is why brands need to also cater to women's wants and needs, just like they do men. There are plenty of “jewellery” watches, but the offering for accessible regular watches is lacking for women. The 'regular' watch caters to men, and excludes women.

why cater to women?

Before we dive into how brands have chosen to cater to women, it would serve to establish why it's important to cater to women, and not just men. It's simply not cool to exclude women is the first major reason, and the main reason that watch manufacturers should consider. However, the main reason watch manufacturers would actually consider is the second major one: if you exclude half of the population from your consumer base, you are leaving money on the table. Nobody will be surprised to learn that the watch market has been suffering for the last few years. Firstly because people have less money to spend on useless luxury goods, which watches are, but also because US tariffs are increasing the price of watches in one the the biggest luxury goods consumer market in the world, decreasing the demand even further. Swiss watches are ubiquitous when talking about luxury watches, and at the moment of writing, the US tariffs for Switzerland are 39%. This is also a double whammy because watch brands want to keep semi-consistent pricing around the globe, and will therefore also increase prices all around, not just in the US, making it harder for you and me — who don't live in the US — to buy watches (fuck the USA and their stupid-ass government).

shortcomings with the current catering to women

One of the main ways women are excluded from the watch world is with dimensions in my opinion. Looking at the ad I showed in the previous section, IWC used sizing to gatekeep their watches from women “That's why we specifically made the Portuguese Chrono-(illegible) with a wider wrist — just in case she gets any ideas.“

_{refresher on watch dimensions}

Currently, the enthusiast watch market is mostly composed of watches meant for medium to large men's wrists. There has been a very recent push by enthusiast to have more 39-40mm diameter offerings (a couple mm makes a difference, I swear), but it is still on the larger side, and that's even without factoring the lug-to-lug dimensions, thickness, lug width... To put it plainly here is a lack of good offerings accommodating smaller wrist from regular brands; some women will like to wear watches that look small on their wrist, others watches that fit just right, and finally some watches that look oversized — there should be good watches available to all of them.

There are challenges with making good, smaller watches however. One of those is with the movements. If you remember, the movement is the engine of the watch. Miniaturising anything is a challenge, and it is no different for movements. But while it is an engineering challenge to make smaller movement, not only do we have the technology, but it was done before. Watches from decades ago were smaller than their contemporary counterparts and they were not all just quartz movements, which are easier to make small. It is possible to make small mechanical movements, as all watches before the Quartz Crisis (beginning in 1969, having a cool-ass name and being a topic for another article) were on the smaller side and still mechanical, simply because quartz movements were not available before then. But brands are just not putting the effort into making smaller movements.

I'm not just talking out of my ass, let's take a concrete example with the brand Breitling. Breitling recently refreshed their Super Ocean Heritage line-up, which is their historical diver's watch model. With this refresh came 4 different sizes, and more excitingly their newly unveiled B31 movement. This movement is particularly appealing because it is Breitling's new and first three hand “in-house” _{(not really but it's not the point of this article)} movement. And it's great that it's what's powering those new watch models. Well that is, for all sizes except the smallest one, which incidentally would be the one preferred by bearers of smaller wrists, which uses a third party movement.

And then, Breitling is not doing too bad; for the smaller Super Ocean Heritage model, the colours are good, it still looks on par with the bigger models, and the movement is far from being bad. The way some other brands go about making smaller watches leaves way more to be desired. I'm talking about the infamous “pink it, shrink it, quartz it”. The lazy 'womanification' of a watch goes as follows: take a male model, make it smaller (do not take any element of design into consideration, just miniaturise it), put a random quartz movement in there because no decent cheap pre-made mechanical movement will fit the case, change the dial colour to be more girly, add diamonds, stones... and you're done. That is very lazy and also shitty and tacky.

I don't want to be all doom and gloom, it is looking up for the people in the itty bitty wrist committee. The 'pink it and shrink it' model is becoming more of a thing of the past for the established watch brands. One can hope that in a couple of decades, we'll just have good offerings for every wrist size (if the brands have not all gone under). In the meantime, let's look at some brands that people think are doing good when it comes to catering to women, and what they do.

so what do we do about it? (or What some brands that have good women's offering are doing)

The image above is from one of Cartier's most popular watch, the Cartier Tank — do you notice something? They have a bunch of sizes for that model, and they still look identical. They don't have the big sizes being males models looking clean, and the small size women's being bedazzled, and pink. Their designs are very similar, they look good on men and women alike, and they have size options ranging from mini to extra large — with small, medium and large in between (pictured above). And that's not just for the Tank, but for most of their collections. On the movement front, they do use quartz, but it's usually for the whole line up, and with watches that are that small and not always round, like the Cartier Tanks mini, quartz is just the best option. It's cartier's own quartz movements, so they're not just putting any random shitty movement that fits. And that's why they're the goats. _{(Also quartz does not mean bad by any means, but it's a topic for another article)}

Let's move down to more reasonable prices and look at Casio. Casio's claim to fame are their digital watches. And while they only come in one size, they usually boast very restrained dimensions that look good on both small and medium wrists. Bigger wrists are also eating good with Casio's giant chunky g-shocks. Their designs are good, and what I would qualify as indémodable, their watches are very affordable, useful and will last you a lifetime. And that's why they're the goats.

Another brand that I have read a lot of women appreciate is Rolex. We are moving way up in price. Despite what one may think about Rolex currently, they are generally doing good by women. They have popular models in a variety of small sizes — not just a couple of medium to big sizes and a single small size for women. They have 41-36-34-31-28mm diameter sizes usually, which gives many option for people who have smaller wrists. The designs are also almost identical, no matter the size of a particular model, just look at the image above. Their popular lines are also customizable: you like bedazzled? Select the diamond incrusted bezel and the diamond indices dial. Hate it? You can also choose a plain dial and bezel. They have good movements in their smaller watches, that they make in-house just like their bigger movements. They have good models for women, but unfortunately some of their most popular models like the submariner, the GMT Master and the Daytona are only available in one size, and that size only fits medium to large wrists.

From this small selection of brands that are doing good by women, there's a couple things that are apparent. First, there are size options for smaller wrist. Second, they just have good design, it's stuff that is appealing for everyone, not just people who love stereotypically “girly” stuff. Lastly, the technical aspect of the watch is not disregarded; the movements of the small models are good, it's not just some random thing thrown in at the last minute. In general those watch brands care about their womanly clientèle and put effort in their “women models” or into making their more unisex general models accessible for people with small wrists. But does all this effort pay off? Well, Rolex is the #1 best selling luxury watch brand, Cartier just overtook Omega as the #2 and Casio, after reading their Q4 2025 report _{(note japan's fiscal year starts in April, so Q4 is Jan-Mar)} is doing solid.

conclusion:

In this article, we've established that the categorisation of a watch as a “woman's watch” is purely due to social constructs and therefore woman's watches aren't a thing. However, we've also seen that there is not a lot of watches that women would want to wear, primarily due to them being gatekept from attractive models with sizing, and being served inferior models — whether from a technical or design standpoint — in the only sizes that fits them. To confirm this, we've looked at some brands that women seem to appreciate. We find that those brands provide attractive designs in a wide range of sizes. Now if you've read this article, you might be under the impression that I just want traditionally more male models (boring steel watches) to fit women, and that I think that would fix the issue; I don't. I want to make clear that I think there should be all kinds of designs in all kinds of different sizes. If a man wants to wear some cool bedazzled watch that is almost more the realm of hardcore jewellery than watch, like the Bvlgari Serpenti Secret Watch, I think there should be options for him. Similarly, if a woman wants to wear some more sterile pseudo-military watch, like the Micromilspec Milgraph, she shouldn't be sized out. In my ideal watch world, there would be many options for anybody wanting anything.

_{BVLGARI Serpenti Secret Watch and Micromilspec Milgraph}

We still have a long way to go, but I think big brands are slowly moving towards more inclusive sizing. The microbrands are really driving the change in some respect, but they are more niche. There's some other work that to be done as well and, in my opinion that needs to be done, it's the only way for watch brands not to die. Particularly, if you allow me to digress [1000 words rant redacted, we'll keep it for another article]. Let's just leave it at that. See you in a next one.

Disclaimer: I'm just a regular dude with no special insight whatsoever into the watch world, don't take anything here too seriously. Those are just the divagations of a watch nerd.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

bonus section: watch for people

Alrighty, the part that most of you are waiting for, the bonus watch assignment. I hope none of you have scrolled all the way down to this section without reading the full article 🙂. I trolled you a bit with the first picture of the article, and if you hadn't noticed, it's all horrendous watches. Also, don't hold it against me if you aren't on the list — it's either that I don't see you wearing a watch, or I haven't been inspired by any watch and thought “that screams [insert name]“. My own wife is not on this list. It really isn't that deep. Ok, let's get started:

• Nick: Hamilton Khaki Field “Murph” 38mm. I just see him wearing this, it's a simple and classic piece, that is not boring. Easy to style.

• Noah: Seiko Prospex SPB121 “Alpinist”. The green dial is reminiscent of his Muggies outfit – and the smooth steel bezel of his head. The watch may be a hair too thick for him but the other dimensions should be perfect.

• Kaitlyn: Jaeger Le Coutre Reverso Tribute Small Seconds Q397843J. I'm gonna cheat a bit with this one on two aspects. Firstly, although the watch comes with a green strap, I would see Kaitlyn wearing it with a brown strap like in the picture below. Secondly, I think the watch might be a tad big, so this will be an imaginary version of the watch that is smaller and comes with a brown strap. Brown strap and green dial will also make it so both Kaitlyn and Noah's watches have similar colour scheme, which I'm sure they can appreciate.

• Edna: Tank Must de Cartier – Small Model. A classic, refined and elegant piece for a dignified corporate girlie. I think Cartier's blue accent would fit Edna's vibe very well.

• Elisa: Tissot PRX 25mm. I genuinely don't know why but I see Elisa rocking this. I saw it in the flesh metal at the airport, and it's what immediately jumped at me. I think it might suit Elisa better if the dial had a subtle waffle pattern, like the bigger models, instead of the sunray finish.

• Bennet: Grand Seiko SLGW003 “White Birch”. Classic old timey feel without having to deal with the hassle of a vintage watch. It not being automatic and needing to be wound is a plus for the tactile feel of it. The cherry on top is that when rewinding the watch, it looks like a wood pecker is pecking at the gear (90% of the reason why I chose this watch for Bennet).

• Dan: SpaceOne Jumping Hour. Spaceship, Dan — the connection is evident. The choice of colour was a bit less, and I was hesitating on either blue or the iridescent colour below. I think this is it though. Apart from the design, the non-standard way the time is displayed on the watch does match his persona.

• Shrey: Fifty Fathoms Automatique – 5007 1130 B52B. I was gonna pick an apple watch for Shrey, but ever since I saw him with his massive Swarovski Diver, I knew I had to choose an equally imposing watch. One of my personal favourite design wise, the Fifty Fathom has a ton of history and heritage. This new version comes-in at a more restrained 38mm in diameter, which I think would suit Shrey best. (no heartbeat technology unfortunately)

• Vivian: Frédérique Constant Manchette. Another pick purely based on vibes. When that watch was unveiled recently, I just thought it was pretty cool and that it would suit Vivian.

The End

So he sits. In his office, at his desk, and in the lounge, where he helps himself to the liquor cabinet and reflects on past glories.

“I could've taken all 15 myself!”

He shouts into the empty lounge. Heston is a burly man. Never out of shape, but about as wide as he is tall. If he told you he beat a powered unarmed, you might believe him. You would be wrong, of course. That credit is reserved for the glowing blue revolver strapped at his hip, half as big as his leg. Carroway draws the revolver, its blue lining illuminating the otherwise lightless room. Bottle in one hand, revolver in the other, he stumbles from the lounge to his office, murmuring to himself.

“...number...11...I coulda...”

He kicks the door shut behind him and carefully rests the half empty bottle on his desk, then promptly collapses onto what he would call a bed; an old pillow and two torn blankets. Heston is out cold. Whether the low rumbling is his snoring or labored breathing, he is out. Outside his office, driving onto the road from the dirt, is a devastating scene. A cherry red mustang. Heston loves antiques. This car is something he would see in a magazine and imagine himself driving with a beautiful woman. The open road, wind blowing in his fading hair. But even Heston Carroway, AutoMag subscriber, would fail to identify what used to be an antique mustang. Both bumpers missing, windows broken, probably more parts missing than not. It's engine sputters and dies after making it across the road. A woman stumbles out and quickly gathers herself. Dressed in an all black dress, now damaged from wherever this woman came from, she grabs a briefcase from the wrecked mustang and walks up to Carroway's office.

She reaches the entrance of “Carroway Detective Agency and Lounge”. Shaking, she leans against the wall and takes slow, deliberate breaths. Everybody outsources to powered contractors these days. When New New York tried to pass legislation banning all non-powered individuals from working on criminal cases, the public wasn't shy from sharing their opinions. Barry Bartlett, Samantha Barrett, and Chris Harper, all reporters, pushed stories opposing the “powered protection” bill. Anti bill sentiment was growing from both sides until Bartlett, Barrett, and Harper all disappeared forever. The bill didn't get passed, but the message was clear. It was happening whether they were allowed to or not. Eventually people stopped speaking out. Then they stopped asking. In the 5 years since, they would grow complacent, whether to fear or feigned ignorance. This is why Heston had to add “and Lounge” to his business. Also because as he now gets regular deliveries from the brewery under “work expenses” straight to his office.

The woman with the briefcase knocks on the door. She is frantic, but calmer now. After nobody answers, she knocks again, only to see the door slowly open. She peeps her head inside, sees Detective Carroway asleep on the floor, and reaches around for the light switch. After flicking it on, Carroway slowly awakens, and sees her in the doorway, masked by the lights outside the office. Seeing what to him is just a blurry figure, he leans up and wipes the sleep away from his eyes. He goes to get up and waves the blurry figure over. The woman shuts the door and walks over, seemingly calm again. He begins to make out more as he becomes more awake, now seeing the woman's figure walk over to his desk. Heston makes it to his desk, plops down in the chair, and turn to face the woman. She approaches, and gently places the briefcase on the desk.

“Detective Carroway?”

Heston looks in her eyes and hesitates. He knows this woman. Quickly he begins to cycle through possibilities in his head.

“Someone from the neighborhood? No, they don't talk to you anymore.”

“A spurned bar patron? A client? Impossible.”

He takes another look. Now in the light, we see that the woman's face is smeared with dirt, clothes torn as if an animal had gotten to it. She has been crying. But now she stands. Waiting. Heston leans back in his chair, stunned. It's Samantha Bartlett. The reporter. He gathers himself.

“You're Samantha Bartlett. The reporter.”

“I am.”

She answers. She doesn't seem bothered by the question but that what she has to say is more important than being missing without a trace for over 5 years. Heston stands up promptly and offers his hand to Samantha.

“Ms. Bartlett. I'd love to take your case. What you must've gone through... Don't you worry, I'm on your side. You know don't you. Who's behind it all?

She softly shakes his hand and goes to open the briefcase.

“I don't.”

She says. She takes out a picture from the briefcase and flips it over to show Heston.

“But I know who kidnapped me.”

Heston looks down at the photograph. It's an old ID picture from years ago. It's of a man. Jet black hair and a faded scar across his throat. His eyes, black and cruel. His smile, cold and empty. Jack Gage, 34.

But Heston knows him as something else. Something more personal than Jack Gage, 34. Something familiar. Something dark, and horrifying.

No11.

SLIPPY’S STORY

The stench in the sewers beneath Amuun was nearly unbearable- but a boy must have adventures. This boy was called Slippy. He used to be called another name, but there are some humiliations so complete and devastating that they stay with you. You are known to the world by that terrible moment. It warps and becomes you. Down here, he was called nothing. He preferred that. The relative silence of this place made up for its wetness, foulness, and darkness. It was a different world from the city above it. Not a kinder one, not gentler at all, but a different world. That was all Slippy asked for. He shuffled his feet along the narrow ledge, which dropped down into the dark stream of sewage water, his palms feeling along the cold gray stones of the tunnel's wall. He didn't slip very often these days, so he wasn't worried. His eyes assessed the water. He was not the only creature that found sanctuary down here. Reptilian beasts with long, sharp-toothed maws swam beneath the surface. Were you to miss the sight of their shiny black scales in the water, then they would snap from below the surface and drag you down in a matter of seconds. Slippy had encountered one on his second excursion into the sewers, losing his cape and nearly his life. Since then, he had learned their signs and places, where in the sewers to avoid, what times they slept. In time, he became comfortable going further into the sewers, planning more dangerous expeditions and expanding the map of the place he held in his mind. Today had been a particularly good day. Begging had earned him an entire silver, and the baker's daughter had spared him a loaf that wasn't even very moldy. She was one of those rare, kind people. With a full belly and feeling emboldened, Slippy was determined to explore deeper into the sewers than he ever had before. He passed through the familiar tunnels and intersections, light pouring in from the street above. The sounds of the day were muted, held at a safe distance. Most people above were aware of the sewers, but Amuun was an old city. The network of tunnels extended much deeper and wider than most citizens suspected. Slippy found a shaft that extended downwards, into a deeper darkness. He lowered himself into the hole, dropping down slowly to avoid making noise. Sound carried well down here. He felt his way down this new tunnel, knowing that lighting a match in this strange and pungent air could have a terrible consequence. Committing each turn and length of the tunnels he passed through to memory, he pushed through the dark. Once you get past the fear of darkness, what remains is only blissful unknowing. His entirety was concerned with each second that passed. He didn't think ahead to the next, or dwell on the previous, but experienced the present blackness as he was being consumed by it. It was careless and peaceful. He came into a chamber illuminated by a small ray of light, which betrayed just how far underground Slippy was. In the center of the chamber a small tree had erupted, allowed by the ray of light and kicking up a number of displaced bricks around it. It was no lost civilization or dragon's hoard, but it might as well have been to a boy looking for something to find. He knelt down beside the small tree, admiring its tenacity. He was learning that things lived beneath the earth and had their own places.

Satisfied with this finding, he turned back into the darkness of the tunnel. He again felt his way through. Left... Right... Right... The tip of his foot hit an unfamiliar surface. Surprised, he felt around in front of him. He had hit a brick wall, where there shouldn't have been one. Once again, the ancient, primordial panic of being lost in darkness washed over him. He must have taken a wrong turn— but he was so careful! How could he have made a mistake? For a while, he stood paralyzed. He became aware of how real the possibility of dying here was. The boy sobbed in the darkness. With a final sniffle, he collected himself, and began to feel his way through the darkness again, trying to backtrack to the chamber with the small tree. Perhaps he could climb up to the source of the light. But it was as if the entire network of tunnels had changed. He was unable to find anything familiar. The cold, wet air became dry. The rough stones of the sewer walls ended abruptly at some point, being replaced by smaller bricks with sharper edges. Slippy was no longer sure that he was in the sewers anymore. He turned a corner, and saw orange light peeking out from a crack at the bottom of the wall. As he quietly approached it, he recognized that it was coming from beneath a wooden door. Was it a way out? It certainly wasn't daylight, but any light was divine at this point. He spotted an iron handle and cautiously opened the door. Inside was a small room lined with shelves, with a large burlap sack sitting proudly in the center. A small wooden table held a lantern that gave off the orange light. Strange knick-knacks lined the shelves; large books written in strange languages, idols from other lands, dice, bottled multi-coloured liquids, and more than a few knives. Seeing that there was no staircase leading to the surface, Slippy's heart sank. But that disappointment was quickly distracted by curiosity. What was this place doing down here? He approached the burlap sack in the middle of the room and tugged it open. His jaw went slack. Inside were more gold coins and jewels than he had ever seen in his life, nearly filling the sack completely. Without thinking, he grabbed a fistful of coins and shoved them into his cloak pocket. Thoughts of warm meals and warm beds filled his head. He could buy boots without holes in them, or a new cape. He could buy bread from the baker's daughter instead of begging for it. A blue coin caught his eye. Nearly the size of his hand, it was in the shape of a crescent moon and had a number of ‘X’ marks that had clearly been etched into its face. He flipped it over in his hand and saw that the other side had a tiny inscription along its edge: I'll take a gold and leave a penny, maybe two if I take twenty, but if a fellow has more than plenty, I'll be sure not to leave him any! It was funny and simple, like a children's rhyme. He may have even heard one of the other poor kids sing it before; it had that ring of familiarity. He noticed something red and wet on the crescent's pointed end. He recognized it as blood, but how did he not notice it immediately? There was more of it on his hand, and it was pooling in a red puddle on the floor. Only then did he begin to feel the sharp line of pain along his neck, just beneath the chin. Somewhere beneath the shock of sensation and realization, his vision blackened and his legs gave out.

Slippy awoke in a bed in a dark room. The air tasted wet and cold. A drip, drip, drip sound assured him that he was still underground. He weakly felt his pocket and found it was empty. Cloth was wrapped tightly around his neck. “Don't move your neck if you can help it,” said a gruff voice in the darkness. Slippy almost turned to face the voice, then having heard the warning thought better of it. Looking with only his eyes he saw a cloaked man, lit by a lantern on the bedside table. Under the hood, the man's face seemed to be wrapped in cloth, or maybe bandages. In a similarly wrapped hand, he held a knife by the blade, playing with it idly. It danced between his fingers, almost as if it was acting on its own- it was oddly mesmerizing. “Who?...” Slippy croaked, unable to get out the rest of his question. It hurt to speak. “Your throat will heal.” Said the man. “Probably. Sorry about that, but you were touching things that you really shouldn't. Thieves hate to be stolen from, you know...” he chided. “I'd ask how you found my hideout, but I'm pretty sure I already have a good idea. The tunnels down here sometimes change... You see, they never take you where you want to go, which makes them a very good hiding place if you don't want to be found. The only way to find that room is to do so by accident.” The man leaned in closer. Slippy could see his eyes narrow as if inspecting something. “You must be a beggar boy. But you're a poor thief, between the sobbing and the way you shuffle your feet... Then again, so was I when I started out...” A heavy pause filled the air. The man seemed to be holding words in his mouth. Then after consideration, carefully let them into the air.

“Under the moonlight they make their crusade those baneful youth, bless them they are children of the derelict and dying but the progeny of kings for this is a wicked seed that the holy have sown

a deliciously sharp irony for seeds, I say, are meant to be grown.”

It would be difficult to guess from within the city’s walls, but Amuun's countryside in summertime was beautiful. The hot air had a similar effect to a slow, lulling song played on the harp. It was a time for thinking sweet and selfish thoughts. Slippy sat under a plum tree outside the city limits, feeling and turning a scone in his hand. He enjoyed the crumbling texture. It was another gift from the baker's girl. She was always good to the street urchins, but Slippy secretly and stupidly hoped that this gift was something other than generosity... “You have a look of desire in your eye.” Said the sewer-man. Slippy jumped. Sewer-man (as Slippy had begun calling him,) had approached in complete silence. It was one thing to hide in darkness, with the shadows swallowing you and masking your presence. Could the same really be done in daylight? Sewer-man had shed his cloak for this hot summer day, but he retained the cloth wrappings which covered nearly his entire body. Bits of golden hair slipped through the bandages around his head. He couldn't be nearly as old as he sounded. From a distance though, he simply looked as if he was damned to some terrible illness. “You're late.” Said Slippy, aware of his cheeks becoming a shade of red. Sewer-man didn't allow the change of subject. “Desire is good. A thief without desire is like an artist without a muse.” A tone of amusement lay beneath his words. “You want something you cannot have.” Slippy frowned. This probing was irritating. “What I want is to learn blades!” He demanded awkwardly, resolving to stop this conversation at once. Since he had seen Sewer-man flipping the small knife in that dark room when they first met, he had become transfixed by that skill. Sewer-man snorted through his bandages. “Blades... Blades are hardly a thief's first weapon. Silence, darkness, nimble hands, empty words of sweetness...” His words trailed off. He often stopped mid-sentence and it seemed as though his mind had moved to some other thought entirely. “Alright.” He conceded, “I'm in a good mood, so I'll teach you some blades today.” Sewer-man had already taught Slippy how to hide in a good shadow, make his voice sound like another's, and how to read letters. He retrieved something from his bag. “Here, take this.” He said, holding out a small silver needle. “This isn't a blade!” Protested Slippy. “It's got a pointy end, doesn't it?” Said Sewer-Man. “That should be enough for someone your size.” He laughed, “You are only a boy, and so you do not know, that a blade can’t destroy if there’s no place to stow. A bee has its flower, and a clock points the hour.” Slippy crumpled his mouth. “Say what you really mean, for once!” “I mean what I said, but I’ll put it in simpler terms. That needle is just as useful as a knife, if you know the right places to put it.” He said. He pulled another item from the bag, a chest small enough to hold in one hand. It was cubic in shape and looked to be made completely from iron. “For a thief, the world is a world of doors and keys. That which you desire is behind a door, and everything else is a possible key. It is only a matter of finding the right fit. When you can unlock this little door with that needle, I'll give you a bigger needle and a bigger door... And eventually I will give you a blade. But in time, that little needle in your hands will open any door. Any treasure, anything you desire, will be only within a needle's reach of you. That is what it means to be in our profession- to hold the keys in a world of doors, and open them as you please.”

This is my article for Blogvember! Notevember? Noahvember? This is my article for Noahvember. It’s obviously a fiction piece, and it's one I’ve had kicking around for a long time, unfinished probably over a year.

As readers we love to read fiction, but as writers, we loathe it. This is because writing fiction is very, very fucking hard. Presenting ideas in a clear fashion is easy, but trying to present ideas with subtlety takes true precision and consideration. That’s probably why even this short story is really only a few vignettes from a pretty specific point in a young man’s life.

Poetry seems like the easier version of writing since the actual length of the work is usually very brief. It is pure emotion, without anchors.

Fiction and poetry when married together are a kind of sick indulgence- when you put them together you can sort of get away without totally doing one or the other, and the whole affair becomes much easier. Within the fiction, you can make a place for your poetry to live, and create a context. Within a context, a poem will likely just present itself. Likewise, a poem can carry the narrative payloads you just aren’t skilled enough to work into the story organically. Add some pictures to that, and we’re off to the races. It feels a bit like cheating, but I’ve already done the dark deed and there is no one who will stop me. There is no one who can stop me…

The drawings were the very last piece I did for this story, which I guess is the logical way to go about it. I realize after doing that, It would be so so fun to do the art for a text adventure game set underground. Just drawings of your items and vignettes of underground spaces. That would be super fun.

It shouldn’t surprise you that this is a backstory for a Dungeons and Dragons character who steals things professionally. When I was looking at my character’s sheet, I found that some of the techniques at his disposal were pretty sophisticated. With a wizard it is pretty straightforward where they learned their stuff; a wizard school, a tome, an apprenticeship. For the thief class, (which is common enough in these fantasy worlds to be its own class of character,) it's assumed that they learned these skills out of some necessity to steal things.

I guess that makes some sense, but I don’t totally buy it. At a certain point, you need instruction, or at least some model to base yourself on in order to become totally elite at any task. I believe that wholeheartedly. But, if you are a thief, your occupation is explicitly not allowed. A wizard, a warrior, or a cleric all have their place in society where they can find role models and conventional wisdom. The same seems less likely for thieves. While I appreciate the idea of a thieves' guild, it seems a bit out in the open for my taste. In this story, I imagine Slippy is being inducted into some kind of order, but one that is decentralized, almost to hardly exist at all. This order of thieves is a tradition, a culture, but not an association or group with a governing body.

The hardest part of all of this was the ending, which kept me stumped for a long time. In the end, I think just implying the rest of his journey is good enough. I really like Slippy, and I feel like I have a pretty good idea about what happens to him next, but if you’ve known me for any amount of time, you know that I have a hard time sticking to an idea. I’m erratic that way. Whenever a wheel starts turning, it kind of runs away from the currently turning wheel, and I have to choose which one to chase. This is the beginning of Slippy’s story, but nowhere close to the end. Whether I decide to check in on him again, we will have to see. For now, I'm onto other things.

Welcome back ladies and germs, to the Humble Purge. For those who need a reminder, the Humble Purge is a project I undertook last year, where I set out to play most of the unplayed games in my steam library, i.e. my backlog. I already wrote two articles about it, the first advertising the project, and the second reporting on it after completion. In total I devoted about 758h to it last year and played 110 games, which is quite a lot. Too many to tell you about in my articles (even in the indigestible second one that is an unnecessary 7300+ word), which is why I planned to release a couple articles devoted to the games played during this Purge. This first one is an Awards Article. Coasting off the popularity of the best awards show in the world, The Muggies (I started writing this a while ago 🙃), I thought I would talk about some games that were the best or the worst in some aspect.

Some things to remember from my backlog: I categorised everything, rated games on how excited I was to play them — I called that hype and rated it out of ten — and then gave games a score out of ten once I was done with them. I played games for a minimum of an hour.

We've already talked about the overall bests in my second article, so we'll have more fun categories here. Let's start with one such award that I alluded to in my second article:

Top of the Bell Curve Award 🔔

Sniper Elite 4 by Rebellion

Sniper elite, released in 2017 is a game where you play as a sniper (no way) and kill nazis (yippee). The game is divided into missions, with different maps and objectives for each. You can go stealth or guns blazing, although the latter option is definitely not how the game is intended to be played. And when you play how it's supposed to be played — scouting the map for enemies, for entrance points to your objective, laying down traps and waiting for sounds to cover your gun shots — it's really fun. It looks good, the gameplay loop is great, the movement and gunplay are improved from the third, the maps are well designed and fun to explore. They didn't spam enemies, which would have made the game tedious, and the AI is semi-competent once they have been alerted. While not alerted though, the AI has the IQ of a lukewarm oyster. The difficulty is well balanced in my opinion, and I would recommend the “Sniper Elite” one. It removes the aim assist, has gravity and wind affecting the bullets as well as less forgiving AI which make it challenging, but is generous with the autosaves and not frustrating at all. Making any shot without assistance, taking into account the wind, gravity, movement of the enemy and noise, is very rewarding. One of the great feature it has is online coop, which although I didn't partake, would have no doubt made the experience really fun. I played this for 15.5h and gave it a 9/10 in the end.

Now why did it win the Top of the Bell Curve Award (aka most average award)? Well, it's simply because, as detailed in my second article, the most common first letter for games I played in my backlog was an S, the average year for games in the backlog was 2017, on average the games had a steam score of 89% and metacritics of rating of 79, and the most common genre was the all-encompassing “Action” genre.

Sniper Elite not only fits the best amongst the games in this backlog (start with an 'S', was released in 2017, has a steam score of 91% and metacritics rating of 78 AND is an action game) but the best fit amongst all of the games that released in 2017.

Wet Firecracker Award 💦🧨

Doom 3 by Id Software

I think doom is cool. I read how Doom came to be in Masters of Doom by David Kushner, and it was really interesting to read about how visionary and technologically advanced it was, on top of having a humongous cultural impact. When the Doom reboot came out in 2016, it soon became one of my favourite shooters. Seeing that Doom 3 was in my backlog, I was naturally very excited to play it, an gave it a hype of 9/10. Doom 3 came out in 2005, eleven years after its last mainline predecessor and it is fair to say that it is a completely different game altogether. In my review, it garnered a 2/10.

Doom 3 really disappointed me. I was expecting Doom, but I got something more akin to no-great Dead Space 1. Played it for an hour and never looked back. I won't spend too long on this because I want to spread joy and positivity all around me (I'm just that kinda guy), but I really did not have fun playing Doom 3.

Why is it the wet firecracker of the backlog? Well, just like a wet firecracker, I expected it to be a banger 🧨💥, but it just flopped 🧨💦.

Gold Nugget Award 🪨🪙

Molek Syntez by Zachtronics

During my backlog, I discovered that I really like puzzle games. I completely get that they are not for everyone, but they are very satisfying to me, even if they often forgo a lot of aspects of video games that most people care about. On average, puzzle games in the backlog got a score 8/10 where the average for all games was closer to a 6.8/10. I did not know that I liked puzzle games though, and I originally only gave Molek Syntez, which came out in 2019, a hype of 5/10. What a little treat it was though. The purpose of the game is to fabricate various chemical compounds, using other molecules. Not all of your building-block molecules are 100% what you need thought, and you will need to transform them to suit your needs, before assembling them into your final product. You program little arms that can do various action and only move a certain way around your lab bench. It's really fun and it can be as easy or challenging as you make it out to be. You can brute force it and have 24 instructions per arm, using all the arms available, and need millions of cycle to create your product, or limit yourself to using as little instructions/arms as possible and optimising everything. Once you're done programming, you can hit play and see the arms making your target molecules (or not if you messed up). It's really fun, you have to take into account the usual rules that you've probably learned about in chemistry class, but it's pretty simple overall.

I played Molek Syntez at the beginning of my backlog for a total of 12.5h. I will a 100% get back into it to finish the extra puzzles, but at the time I felt like finishing the campaign was good enough for the project. I had a lot of fun though, and if you like puzzles and chemistry, you will like it too. (Actually maybe even if you hate chemistry as I do)

Gold nugget 🪨🪙 awards if for the game that I didn't think I would like, but ended up being one of my favourite.

Dogged Game Award 🐶

Guacamelee! 2 by Drinkbox Studios

While completing my backlog, within 10 minutes of playing a game, I would know if I was going to play it until I roll the credits, or just play it for a while, or only play it for an hour. I have never been more wrong than during my time with Guacamelee! 2. At first I thought I would only play it for an hour. After the hour had passed I kept playing it, but knew for sure I wouldn't play it for the ~9h required to clear the campaign. Then I rolled the credits. It's not as if I was only starting to get the hang of the backlog, as I played this in May as my 63rd game, roughly 57% through all the games. This little mexican game was just tenacious, it was dogged, and didn't let me put it down until I was done with it and it was done with me. It's a basic action platformer, and a very very soft metroidvania if you want to unlock everything. There is barely any backtracking involved if you just wanna finish the main campaign. After the corruption of the hero Salvador by his own mask, the “Mexiverse” is in peril. You play as a retired luchador, out for a last mission, to prevent the corrupted Salvador and his three assistants from collecting the three sacred relics (a tortilla chip, a molcajete and an avocado if my memory serves me right). Along your travels, you recover your former wrestling moves, and those are also used as ways to move around, allowing you to reach previously unattainable platforms/clearing obstacles. You can also transform into a chicken.

The platforming is very decent, and not super super tricky. You can switch between the world of the living and the dead which makes for some interesting platforming challenges sometimes. Some combats interrupt your progression, a nice occasion to test you new moves, but it's never frustrating as less than 2 waves of enemies have to be faced each time. Everything is a tad janky and unpolished, but it still works and adds charm to the game. The lore is pretty goofy, but it doesn't take itself too seriously so it's fine. The music is pretty catchy and a nice companion during the campaign. It's a good game overall, and wins the Dogged 🐶 game Award.

❓ Award

Paratopic by Arbitrary Metric

I was gonna start by saying that Paratopic is a game developed by Arbitrary Metric which came out in 2018, but it doesn't feel right to say that. It obviously is a game, but it is so far removed from any typical game that it feels like a disservice to call it that. It is a surrealist game, and I'll just leave my original review describe it:

wtf? Incredible artstyle, great sound design. Weird ass story, the way it is laid out is peculiar to say the least. The timeline is not linear and we jump from one character to another from past to future and vice versa without any transition. Very much a “just experience the game” game. Kinda feels like a weird dream/nightmare. I like trippy stuff and artsy movies and games; I liked this game.

That is very much a “video game as an art form” game. Its extended version will come out “soon” and I will play it for sure. For now, the game earns the ❓award.

Cranium 🧠 Award

Duskers by Misfits Attic

Duskers from 2016 is a game where you command vacuum cleaners. Ok it's actually drones, but they all look like roombas. It's also sort of a horror game. The main goal of the game is to traverse the galaxy, by salvaging abandoned ships along the way to fuel you. You can also find some scraps, pieces of technology and even other drones in there. When you arrive at a ship, you choose where to dock you vessel, and then you have to send your drones out. You'll have to power the ship that you are boarding, but you can only power certain sections at a time. You cannot operate anything that isn't powered. You have to manage access to room, with doors. Now you could just open every door you see and explore, however, there's usually a reason the ships are abandoned. Alien infestation, rogue drone, traps, radiation, vacuum... there is danger lurking in the shadows. The kicker — everything is only interactable via console commands on your end. Want to open/close a door? type “open/close [door name]“. Want to have a drone move to a room? type “navigate [name of drone] [name of room]“. There are two views, the main one being top down, where you cannot see anything specific, but have a global view of everything. The second is going into a drone directly, where you can see what it sees in front of it, and can also move it with wasd. You do lose the ability to see everything else though. Everything is slow and tense. Try typing anything in the console under pressure when shits hits the fan; it's very stressful. You have to plan carefully, but most of the time, still have to act without proper information. And I haven't even touched on most of the gameplay for this game.

So, what is the Cranium 🧠 award? Well it is simply the award for the most innovative and original gameplay. Sure console commands have been done before, but the combination of the two views, the gameplay loop, the tone of the game... it just mixes to become the most innovative thing I have played last year.

Wrench in the Works Award 🔧

Sekiro by FromSoftware

Sekiro is goated, and gameplay wise I think the best game not only in the soulslike genre but in the “dude/gal wielding a sword” genre in general. The combat is precise, calculated, balanced — it's perfect. The level design is great and the movement mechanics are dialled in. The setting is amazing, the enemies are well designed and the boss fights are *chef's kiss*. If you were to tell me that Sekiro is an objectively better game than Darks Souls III, my favourite game ever (also developed by FromSoftware) I would probably agree with you. It's easily one of the greatest game of all times.

Now let me take that thing out of my mouth and explain the Wrench in the Works 🔧 award: it's basically an award for something that detracted me from completing my backlog. For instance a game I had played before but replayed during the Humble Purge, and took time away from actually completing the project, like Sekiro. I replayed it after Spencer and Vivian mentioned they were going through it, and I just had to do a quick playthrough (which means completing the whole game with all the optional things). It was only around 40h though, which is equivalent in terms of time to... 32 of the games I played for the shortest time during the backlog. Oh well, I don't regret it, it was time well spent.

Conclusion

Well, we've talked about quite a few games, euhh like 7, but one isn't from the backlog so 6, which is 5% of the backlog. At this rhythm of an article per year, in 20 years we'll have talked about them all. I'm not planning on talking about them all, and only when inspiration strikes you can hope to get another Humble Purge Article. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this one, and as always:

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

I cleaned some of my windows today. As a gazing-out-the-window enthusiast, I had noticed the accumulation of grime, and figured why not.

My understanding is that raindrops, snowflakes, and precipitation in general requires dust particles as nucleation sites, meaning that mouthing snow and rain involves eating sky dirt.

This dirt accumulates as the rain and snow terminates against the window. On first impressions, cleaning the window is a simple endeavour of applying soap, water, and rag followed by Windex™ and newspaper.

There was more than just dirt on the windows, and there was more than just the glass that needed cleaning.

Some of that shit was stuck on good, but it all succumbed in the end.

I recently published another video to my TouYube channel where I demonstrated some software bugs I was dealing with for my Minceraft mod.

TeamDman – SFM Bug Hunt

When I shared it with the community, multiple people were aghast at my window management

Caption: a screenshot from the video, me alt-tabbing between windows

So too were my windows dirty in real life, that I also battle with Windows in the digital realm. As above, so below.

I recently installed Omarchy on the computer in my living room whose purpose is to run Project+ after battling with Windows' unreliability on that machine.

Experiencing a tiling window manager (compositor?) for the first time was neat. Vaxry has done an awesome job with Hyprland.

Windows has virtual desktops, but there's a slow animation when switching between them (which can apparently be disabled).

Windows has not prioritized making a good experience of managing windows.

As I have iterated on my own software, I have learned many small lessons that have accumulated into a greater whole, just as motes of dirt in a rainstorm accumulate on a window.

These lessons stick around and affect my perception, but as I try to gather them all into one place, there are an uncountable amount that evade the collection process.

I remember watching a YouTube video that talks about how keeping your non-carpeted floors clean in your home helps keep the rest of your home clean.

The claim is that dirt is more attracted to a clean floor than a dirty one, therefore clean floors attract the dirt instead of that dirt coming to rest on surfaces more tedious to clean, which makes sense to me.

Goal: find the video Dataset: my latest Google Takeout export Result: inconclusive Nearest match: “Cleaning Just Got A LOT Easier”

...

Looks like my latest Google Takeout export for my watch history only goes back as far as 2024-12-11T04:27:09.268Z, where as previous exports go back to like 2017.

reeeee

New day new me.

The eyes are a window into the soul ~ Somebody

The AutocardAnywhere browser extension detects when webpages contain the name of a Magic: The Gathering card, adding a hover-preview of the card to the text on the webpage.

I looked into how it works once, and it was a giant regular expression.

One time while I was watching Netflix, I noticed that it was even working on the subtitles, which I found hilarious.

What if we put that browser extension, Wikipedia, and Baldur's Gate's “press h on anything to get more info”, Factorio's “alt to toggle previewing machine details” features into a blender?

We'd get something like Gwern's website I suppose.

There's a lot of hyperlinks and text decorations there. Websites are archived in a way that enables Gwern to create popup windows of the content at outlinks.

...

Got distracted on the site just now, tvtropes level of attention hazard.

I was sniped by an article about cats hunting humans, then one discussing the proposition that humans getting interested in videogames means they aren't getting interested in activities that would benefit humanity more.

Gwern then links to an interesting reply to the article on Twitter from @nearcyan holding their ground that videogames are indeed detracting, maintaining opposition to Gwern's direction that people are best in their niche with very low transfer value.

@nearcyan mentions ROBLOX, which I have a history with, so I suppose it is story time.

When I was a wee lad, I played ROBLOX a lot. ROBLOX is a game engine that uses Lua scripting as a sandbox to enable user-generated places.

A notable place was Heli-Wars: Desert Attack Place Wiki where you would get guns and vehicles and fight an opposing team. A few strategically placed scripts, bricks, and tools resulting in one of the most popular places at the time, now defunct.

Jacob Geller – How Can We Bear to Throw Anything Away?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_dark_age

While the places I visited are gone (or still exist but are now hard to rediscover), the memories of the experience is more readily accessible to me than the ability to re-experience the thing.

There was a genre of places called “Insert Wars”, where the place was configured by its owner to give everyone a copy of the “insert tool”, which empowers the bearer to spawn into the game any model from their collection. Adding models to your collection was a simple affair from the website; you click a big green “Get” button on models that other people have published.

This made the place a bit of a show-and-tell, where you and other players would spawn in outfits, weapons, vehicles, entire maps and just play around.

There were also “Script Builder” places, where the place listens to player chat events to let players perform remote code execution.

You could say

edit/a
workspace.Base.transparency = 1
exit/a
run/a

and make the ground under everyone's feet invisible.

The scripts being in the chat made it an interesting social experience. The character limit in the chat box was 200,000; most scripts did not cloud the chat too much.

Later, an update changed the chat input from being part of the C++ side of the client to being created using the Lua scriptable GUI elements, reducing its character length to 1,024 characters.

Naturally, people made and shared Java swing applications that would take your large script and break it into chunks and programmatically send the messages by manipulating the clipboard and keyboard.

Caption: The dismembered character of a player who just executed a script that breaks the joint of their character.

This let players interact with the world in an immediate feedback loop while surrounded by a community of other players to whom you can ask questions and show off to.

Swords, guns, midi players, wings that grant flight, capes using cloth simulations, there was a lot of interesting stuff.

Naturally, the problems caused by the scripts were also solved with scripts. Beyond using simple base/ and clear/ commands to restore the place to a default state, sometimes people would play an audio file on loop without a stop button, so you had to learn how to programmatically find the audio instance in the workspace and stop it with your own script.

I got pretty interested in the admin commands side of things. I created multiple generations of my admin commands script, each time iterating on how I registered new commands, parsed arguments, and generally interacted with a completely open-ended 3d scriptable multiplayer environment.

heal all players with elevated privileges

\heal\rank > 1

Nowadays, I have many strategies ready in my mind that I can employ when it comes time to create another command parser.

I created a Rust template to get me off the ground quickly for new projects, including a command parser and structured logging.

For creating a quick menu that calls other PowerShell scripts, fuzzy-finders like 🌸fzf and television make it easy to find the script you need when you need it.

# Action loop
while ($true) {
  # Prompt user to select an action
  $action = Get-ChildItem -Path actions `
    | Select-Object -ExpandProperty name `
    | Sort-Object -Descending `
    | fzf --prompt "Action: " --header "Select an action to run"
  if ([string]::IsNullOrWhiteSpace($action)) {
    break
  }

  # Run the selected action
  . ".\actions\$action"
  
  # Leave the action display on the screen for a moment
  # (the action loop clears it with fzf)
  pause
}

I was enthralled when I first learned about fzf, and since then I have been bundling fuzzy finders like fzf and nucleo into many of my apps.

For example, in my most recent video I use fuzzy finding to create a quick tool for focusing a window by name when I'm in a sea of open IntelliJ workspaces.

TeamDman – SFM Fancy Cable Fix

$all_windows = teamy-windows window list -o json | ConvertFrom-Json

$selected_window = $all_windows |
    Where-Object { $_.title -ne "" } |
    ForEach-Object { "$($_.hwnd) $($_.title)" } |
    fzf
if ($selected_window) {
    $selected_hwnd = $selected_window -split " " | Select-Object -First 1
    teamy-windows window focus $selected_hwnd
}

Sometimes, command line parsing appears where I don't expect it.

I was working on teamy-mft, my utility for reading from the NTFS master file table.

I was adding the teamy-mft sync command which is responsible for snapshotting the master file table for each drive using raw disk reads (an action that requires elevation) and saving it to a {driveletter}.mft file which could later be read without requiring elevation.

To perform actions requiring elevation when starting from a non-elevated context, we can spawn a new process and request it to be elevated with the User Account Control dialog.

However, this causes a problem: we ran the teamy-mft sync command from our terminal, but now this new elevated process brings its own terminal where it does its logging when we instead want it to use the existing terminal the user executed the original command in.

To solve this problem, Windows has the FreeConsole and AttachConsole functions we can use to destroy the new console and attach to the console belonging to the process that launched the elevated worker.

This whole shindig means that, when we run the teamy-mft sync command, the program does the following:

1. parses all the command line arguments
2. observes the absense of the --console-pid argument
3. matches the sync command and enters its handler method
4. loads the preference for where the .mft files should be saved
5. observes the current process is not elevated
6. runs an elevated copy of this process with the same arguments followed by --console-pid 123 where 123 is the id of the current process
7. waits for the elevated process to finish
8. exits with the exit code of the elevated process instead of proceeding

then the elevated process will:

1. parse all command line arguments
2. observe the presence of the --console-pid 123 argument
3. detach from its existing console if present
4. attach to the console using the provided process id
5. match the sync command and enters its handler method
6. loads the preference for where the .mft files should be saved
7. observes the current process is elevated
8. continues running the handler method...

Did you know that files in an NTFS file system can have multiple data streams? When you download a file using a browser, it saves some information about where you got the file from.

❯ get-content .\copyparty-sfx.py -Stream Zone.Identifier
[ZoneTransfer]
ZoneId=3
ReferrerUrl=https://github.com/9001/copyparty
HostUrl=https://release-assets.githubusercontent.com/github-production-release-asset/188700274/blahblahblah...

If you copy files between WSL and Windows, you may see abc.Zone.Identifier files appear, which is a way of avoiding data loss when moving files with multiple data streams between file systems.

Computers are annoying sometimes, here's a YouTube channel of a dude fixing farm equipment: https://www.youtube.com/@WatchWesWork

Recap

As a teen I did a bit of working out, but my gym was literally 1h+ away by bus, or 20min by car, and I had no car and never anyone to take me so I didn't go super often. In uni, I was super busy the first year, but around St. Patty's in 2018 is when I started going to the gym regularly. This went even better in second year, as on top of the gym being an 10 min walk away from my house, the course load had diminished a bit. Late 2018, I started getting into powerlifting, and around April 2019 into arm-wrestling, joining the Kingston Krushers. Later that summer, I also did a bit of cheerleading with @Oncle, joining the Queen's varsity cheer team, until the beginning of the fall semester. Nothing notable happened in third year is what I wish I could say, but covid hit and I was forced to forego the gym in March 2020. After trying (and failing) to do stuff at home, I just stopped working out, and after a short depressive episode that lasted until 2022 I also stopped eating properly as well, and lost all my gains. This bring us to my first article from November 2023, Training Again. There, I detail how I started going to the gym again, in June 2023, and that I started bodybuilding, leaving behind the other disciplines I once practiced. I also laid my plan to bulk heavily, a bulk that I started in October 2023. Training Again was more of a little intro to what I was about to do. That article was followed by Training again Update in April 2024, which was the result of what I did in Training Again. You can learn in it that my bulk was successful, that I went from weighing 69kg to 81kg in 22 weeks, and had started a cut in March 2024. I also relate my then current training regiment, and the recent muscle tear in my back which prevented me from lifting heavy until March of that year. It's been more than a year, and I still have to update the chronicles on what happened since.

Here's a little timeline:

_{All in all, I only got ~3.5 years of solid training under my belt, and 2 years of consistent training is my longest training streak. I mean to break that.}

April 2024 to June 2025

The cut I had started in the previous article was fine, even if I had to end it early because it was taking a very heavy toll on my energy levels and my mental health. Nothing serious, but even after a not so busy day at work, I would be exhausted, and mentally, I was just not at my peak. I got very sloppy at the end and didn't really write anything down, so I'm going based of memory. I shed off a bunch of weight and probably settled at around 74-75kg. The first row of abs was visible, and my love handles had halved, so I think I was pretty successful. I did get super busy and wasn't that consistent with the gym starting June 2024. During that same year, I was also trying to finish my backlog, which is recounted in my articles: Clearing the Backlog: Humble Purge Part II & Cleared the Backlog?: Humble Purge Part II. October is when I really fell-off the gym, and probably went 5 times between then and June 2025. Although the backlog project ended in December, I started a second job in the new year so I didn't have that much more time. I also didn't really eat much because I wasn't training, so I went back down to 72kg.

That is the bottom of the valley though, and it only went up from there. In June 2025, I moved to a new house which I don't pay rent for, and which has a garage. The garage also houses a lot of my in-laws' restaurant's stuff, but I managed to clear a bit of space for a home gym. With the money I would have had to spend on rent, I built a simple home gym and started re-training again in June 2025.

Aside on the home Gym

I am working with limited space, so my home gym is just a half-rack that was on sale at costco, a powerbar that was on sale, an ez-bar that was on sale, a bench that was on sal— you know what just assume everything was on sale from this point on because it was— all from bells of steel, some adjustable dumbbells, some elastic bands, and 345lb of plates from northern fitness. The only things I was mindful about when picking all the equipment was obviously the price but also not buying anything from american companies.
It ain't much but it's honest work. My brother-in-law also got a treadmill in there, and there was punching bag in a corner of the garage already. Anyways, that's all that's available to me, so I have to do my exercise selection accordingly.

July – August 2025

In July I was mostly just getting back in the bath, getting the muscle memory, cardio and a bit of strength back. I also started using a workout logging app, Hevy, which makes it much easier to track my programs and progress. At the end of that month, I went back home to France for my mom's 60th, and trained with my brother a bit, who coincidentally also just built a home gym. A quick side note on my brother's insane workouts; he only trains for 3 exercises: squat, bench and deadlift. He only trains 2 exercises per workout and in a low rep-range, because he's going for strength. And because he's lifting heavy, he's also taking very long rests between sets. While I was there, he was doing 3 sets of 3-5 reps for each exercise. This is how you arrive at the mind-boggling total of 18 reps in one hour of training on the lower end. I joined him for two of his workout and I must admit, it was pretty fun. It also gave me my first brush with strength since I started retraining, and it was a welcomed one. Nothing fancy, on deadlifts I was able to do 115kg 3x3, squats 70kg 5x4 and bench 65kg 5x3. But at least it was clear now that the muscle tear in my back had fully healed, without any long lasting effect. (Other notable things about my brother: his garage only comprises a squat rack and two motorcycle, and he is doing the carnivore diet)

In August I kept getting back into the swing of things until the middle of the month, where I committed to bodybuilding and following my own program, at least until the end of the year (I didn't follow through on this, more on that later).

August – October 2025: Birth of the New Model

Now that I was refamiliarised with training, I was able to see what I wanted and set myself goal. My new program would have as a focus core, legs, chest and biceps. Core for much needed stability during heavier lifts. Legs because I enjoy training them, and because since my weight loss my pants fit too loosely. Biceps because I enjoy training them, and chest because it is small and weak. You can't have a plan that prioritises everything, as it would set you up for failure, so the rest: upper back, lats, triceps, shoulders, calves, forearms would have be on the back burner for me.

Learning from my previous programs that had 5-6 exercises per workouts, I knew I wanted to keep them short, and therefore would only train 4 exercises per sessions. I would also only have 4 workouts per week, making it easier to move things around if I needed to. The current scientific literature seems to indicate that around 6 set per muscle group per workout is optimal, with each muscle groups worked 2-3 times per week, and a minimum of 4 sets per muscles group per week to keep them growing, and as much as high 10s, low 20s if you are prioritising them. That's basically what I did and reached this split:

In the end, counting sets for secondary muscles as well (for instance a set of bench press will count as a full set for chest, and half a set for triceps and front delts) we get the following number of sets per muscle groups per week:

Quads: 9 | Hams: 10.5 | Glutes: 12 | Hip Flex: 9 | Erect: 9 | Upper Back: 6 | Lats: 6 | Traps: 7.5 | Biceps: 9 | Triceps: 6 | Front Delt: 12 | Side Delt: 6 | Rear Delt: 4.5 | Chest: 10.5 | Abs: 12 |

My priorities are being hit with 9-12 sets per week, and the others with ~6 sets per week.

For the progression, I kept it pretty simple either changing the reps or weight periodically. If during a workout, I feel like 8-12 reps of an exercise is starting to not get me to failure (not being able to fully complete the last rep of a set), I'll increase the weight. It's fine if I after adding weight I have to lower the reps, I'll just then progress by changing the reps at that higher weight. If I'm on the lower end of my rep range for an exercise, I'll increase the number of reps over time until I get to around 6-8 for compounds or 12-15 for accessories, and then increase the weight. Then the cycle begins anew.

I started this program on Aug 20th and everything was fine. I logged all my workout on Hevy. I made a lot of progress on weights and overall strength. I also got some size back. One thing that I underestimated however is how taxing only using free weights (i.e. only using barbells and dumbbells for my workouts as opposed to also having machines and cables) was gonna be. I was not blessed with big joints in my upper body, and my wrist, elbows and shoulders were starting to not feel awesome every time. My lower back was also kinda taking a beating. This is why instead of waiting for the end of the year to change program, I decided to cook up a new one sooner. The last session with the program above was Oct 15th, after 8 weeks. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I gotta look out for myself. Because of life and stuff, I averaged between 3-4 sessions a week instead of the full 4 ones during that time. What came after is perfection.

November onwards: Winter BAKI Training Arc

Although everybody knows you're not supposed to do it, I had to for this winter arc. Not looking at the science or at what's optimal, we were going completely based on primal vibes and lizard brain. November denotes the beginning of the ultra-busy and stressful period at work, so I wanted something nice and fun. Same setup, 4 sessions per week. This whole program is centered around two main session, with two other sessions to hit other areas of my body, to maintain my size. Those two main workouts are just 3 pairs of supersetted exercise.

A superset is two or more exercises that you do at the same time. For instance if you superset curls and squats, you would do one set of curl, immediately followed by a set of squat, and then you rest. After you start over with curls, then squats, then rest.

Anyways, let's look at what I cooked up:

Session 1: Biceps, Triceps, Shoulders _{exercises grouped together with colours are supersetted, and the numbers are the number of sets}

Session 2: Legs, Abs

Session 3: Biceps, Triceps, Shoulders

Session 4: Back, Abs

This is a super fun program to run, and not taxing or exhausting at all, even with only free weights. I go as hard as I can each session, but because I'm hitting smaller muscles, I recover super fast and I can workout three days in a row without issues if I want. My arms and shoulders are gonna get massive come March, which is probably when I'll move back to a more conventional program. I gotta be honest, having such a stupid but fun program is huge with motivation. As I get busier and busier it's hard to find the will to workout sometimes, so being able to look forward to go “caveman lift rock to make arms big” is helping.

Dieting: Bodyweight Yo-yo

Something that goes hand in hand with training is diet. Your diet supports your training, so I had to make a couple of changes from my freeform eating. Let's go back to August 2025: when I started retraining, I still had a bit of love handles and obscured abs. For this new retraining, I wanted to start on a fresh slate, and therefore decided to get rid of a bit of fat. But I didn't want to do a classic cut, because as I described above, it didn't really fit my lifestyle and wouldn't be viable in the long run. It also would hamper my early progress. So I settled on mainlosing, the opposite of maingaining.

Maintaining is not gaining weight and not losing weight, maingaining is gaining weight — or buking — really really slowly, and main-losing is losing weight — or cutting — really really slowly. Main-losing is not a word or a concept in current gym culture, but it should be as it only makes sense, so I'm coining the term here.

I was eating around 1900-2000cals per day and trying to get around 1.4g of protein per day per kg of body mass, or about 100g. I recorded everything this time around:

I didn't want to be cutting for too long, only until my abs were visible and love handles mostly dealt with. I started at 72.3kg and slowly made my way down to 69.6kg over 4 weeks, with the cut ending on Sept 14th.

Now that the cut was done, it was time for a bulk, which goes hand in hand with the winter arc. Bulking has always been an issue for me, so I enlisted the help of Macrofactor, an app that allows you to track everything you eat, your weight and macros, as well as telling you how much you should eat for whatever weight goal you have. My goal would be to get back to 75kg, but I didn't want to just gain all my fat back, so I would be maingaining, which if you remember the above, is gaining weight really slowly. Well I think I was fairly successful as I only gained one kilogram in two month:

The dark purple line is my measured weight, the weight on the scale I enter every morning, and the light purple line is my extrapolated “real” weight according to the app. At least with macrofactor I don't have to bother making graphs

Conclusion and to the future

Well, that's it folks. This time around, with a home gym, it is harder for me to fall off training again, but I still gotta be careful. If I do fall off again though, I'll just get back up and have at it again. Again, again. I have many things to look forward to in the near future however: my in-laws will remove a bunch of their stuff from the garage and my gym will triple in size. I can't wait to have a ton of space to work with, and choosing what other training implements to get, and how to arrange everything. The priority will be a decent rowing machine, and maybe a cable machine/rack cable attachment. I'm doing fine with what I have though, so I'm in no hurry to get anything else. Another thing I'm looking forward to is to be back at a higher weight, and have bigger muscles. Not sure if I'll reach 75kg by the next article, or if I won't keep going higher. Guess my 2026 article will tell you all you need to know then.

Here's to a hundred more yearly training article.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

Let The Right One in – John Ajvide Lindqvist

Oskar is not doing too hot. As a 12 year old boy in a shitty swedish town known as Blackeberg and constantly bullied, he doesn't have many, if any friends. Comes Eli, a girl his age that lives in the same residential tower as him. She is a weird one though, and doesn't seem to be able to hang out most of the time, and never at night. At the same time as they get to know each other, everybody is on edge in Blackeberg, as the body of a murdered teenager was recently found, completely emptied of blood.

This is not the first “horror” book that I have read, but it's the first one that showed me that doing horror in a book format is possible. The other ones I have read were relying on plot twists, gross description or even jumpscares, which really don't work in printed medium. The authors presents us a very grim swedish setting, full of the worst things imaginable, while at the same time not feeling caricatural. There are some very disturbing scenes, that don't just rely on terrible things happening, but more so on how they happen, while giving enough space to the reader to fill in more. The pacing and writing was also great, and I really flew through everything, it felt like the shortest 500 pages book I've read. The authors' character work is very impressive, not in how intricate it is, but how within a paragraph, you'll get the sense that you're reading about the thoughts of a real person, and seeing the world through their eyes.

Katabasis – R.F. Kuang (Chapters 12 – end)

A full article with an edited breakdown of my notes per chapter will be released before the end of the year.

All Systems Red – Martha Wells

I re-read All Systems Red, which I had read in September, to wash the taste of Katabasis out of my mouth. We also watched the TV show with Tetyana, and there are some departures from the novel. Since I've already talked about All Systems Red before, I'll be comparing the show and novel here.

First of all, while the book is extremely short, 160 pages, Apple somehow managed to make a 10 episode series out of it. I think a mini series of 5ish episodes might have been better suited to the original material. There needed to be quite a bit of padding to fill those episodes, even if they're on the short side. There was a lot of work to be done and material to be created, as the novel has pretty one-dimensional characters, and since the main protagonist is very apathetic and we're seeing everything through its POV. I really didn't like what they did with the scientist characters. Where they were capable and level headed in the novel, if a bit naïve because they don't come from a system ruled by the exploitative hyper-capitalistic Company, in the show they were transformed into a bunch of weirdo hippies. They have weird rituals were they hold hands an hum, have contracts to form polycules, dress like ass, make shitty music by banging on random stuff and dancing horribly to it. I really dislike the subtext that the people outside of the ultra-capitalist society must be a bunch of ultra-woke hippy weirdoes. They are also unsufferable which completely makes the very last sentence of the book, and tv show as well, make no sense. It also weakens one major theme of the book which is that Murderbot is not a human, and doesn't want to be. The first 10min of the first episode were also reddit-cringe. I did love however how they expanded on “The Rise and Fall Sanctuary Moon”, which is the fictional shitty TV show that Murderbot binges. It's just the right tone, and exactly how I imagined it. Little bémol is that in the show, Murderbot literally quotes directly from it to other humans, which is a pretty stupid thing to do as human would potentially have seen it (and they have). The extra “memory wipe” plot, created specifically for the show, was alright. The show toes a weird line between staying faithful to the original material, by having a bunch of monologue sections play word for word, and creating some additional original material to fill the time. The extra friction plotline between the Company and the Free Society Something is good, especially the added Gurathin back story, but it is at odds with the Free Society Something hippy characterisation. They also at the same time turned Gurathin into a pillow sniffing weirdo.

The new stuff is a mixed bag, but with the original material, overall we get a decent to good show.

Not a lot this month, and probably still not a lot next month as I'll spend most of my free time writing for blogvember/notevember.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea Eddie – Award winning author

Heartbreak hit Toronto this postseason, with the Blue Jays being 2 outs away from a World Series victory. They would eventually fall short in 11 innings vs the Dodgers. Like last year I am going to attempt to predict and advocate for the free agency signings I think Toronto should make for the 2026 season. I only got Jeff Hoffman's prediction correct, and look how that ended up... Last year the payroll was at around 250 million. With a deep postseason run, we can assume that the organization will be more than happy to spend again to strengthen some weaker spots on the roster.

I will be using the same websites I used last year, but I will provide a quick summary of what they are.

SPOTRAC: evaluates player contracts and estimates player market value FANGRAPHS: provides in depth breakdowns of teams and their rosters, also gives projections and evaluations.

I also used Options and WAR last year, so to explain those briefly: a Player Option is a hypothetical extra year the player can opt in or out of, and a Team Option is the inverse, where the team can opt in or out of an extra year.

WAR (Wins above replacement) is a general rating of a players performance. 1 WAR is replacement level, and anything above or below is how comparable they are to a replacement level player (low cost, low output). Like last year, there will be a “cheap, average, and lucrative” option for each, unless there is no need to improve a position.

I also want to explain the Rule 5 draft, as I mention that a few times as well. If a player spends 4-5 season in the minor leagues after being drafted and has yet to debut, they are eligible for the Rule 5 draft, put in place to prevent prospect hoarding. If a team adds that player to the 40 man roster, this removes them from eligibility. The draft is ranked by worst to first.

TEAM BREAKDOWN/WISHLIST ——————————————————————

CATCHER: Alejandro Kirk, Tyler Heinemen, Phil Clarke & Brandon Valenzuela

We have our catcher. After batting close to .300 the entire season, Captain Kirk is a clear starting catcher option for the foreseeable future. After signing a 5 year extension last offseason, Kirk proved himself as a star catcher both offensively and defensively. The backup, Tyler Heinemen, proved to be a suitable backup to Kirk, and will continue to give Kirk an off day every now and then. Only playing in 64 games last season, Heinemen put up a .289 average and a 2 WAR season, meaning he provided 2 more wins than replacement level. Going in to his age 35 season, and with two catchers Rule 5 eligible, they might be added to the 40 man roster and be in a position to take his spot. Of the two, Phil Clarke played better last season and is older at 27.

Because Alejandro Kirk is established as a star catcher, there is no need to sign anyone in free agency. (I love you kirky)

SUMMARY: Keep Kirk, Heinemen might be aging out of a roster spot

FIRST BASE: Vlad Jr.

Like with catcher, Vladdy is here to stay. Signing a massive 500 million dollar deal last offseason that sets him as a Blue Jay for life, he is an established star that will play every day barring injury. Putting in a record performance in the offseason, he is the clear face of the Blue Jays going forward. The Blue Jays traded for Ty France at the 2025 trade deadline to allow Vladdy to DH some days as a half rest day, and I think the Jays might sign a cheap player to do the same. Currently the Jays don't have someone on the roster who can fill this role, so I believe free agency is the best option.

Cheap: Dominic Smith

Once thought of to be the future of the New York Mets in the late 2010s and 2020s, Dominic Smith hasn't had the career he was projected to have. Drafted in the first round of the 2013 draft and debuting in 2017, he has a career WAR of .3. Ironically, this last season was one of his best, putting up a .4 WAR and batting .284 in 63 games, while getting paid under 1 million. As a lefty bat with decent power, I think he can be a good bench option whenever they need someone at first for 2026. After making <1 million last season and putting in decent numbers in limited playing time, I think a 1 year contract for 1.5 million is a good cheap bench option.

Average: Justin Turner

With the breakout year for Cubs first baseman Michael Busch, Justin Turner's mutual option for 2026 will most likely be declined. A veteran infielder who played 1 year for the jays in 2024, Turner would be a decent bench player that could play 1st or 3rd in 2026. His mutual option is valued at 10 million, but as a 40 year old infielder who only bat .219 with 3 home runs, I think a 1 year, 8 million dollar contract would be a good option for an aging veteran with little offensive output.

Because Vladdy is the starting first baseman, there is no need to put in an expensive option.

SUMMARY: Vladdy is the starter Dominic Smith – 1yr, 1.5 million Justin Turner – 1 yr, 8 million

SECOND BASE: Andres Gimenez, Ernie Clement, Davis Schneider

Last offseason Toronto traded Spencer Horwitz for Andres Gimenez, and took on his contract. Under contract until 2029 with a club option for 2030, Gimenez seems to be the clear choice for second base for the years to come. Only playing in 94 games in 2025, it is unsure what kind of player he will be through a full season. Known for his defense, he played to around a 5 WAR his last 3 full seasons, all with Cleveland. Signed by the Mets as a shortstop, he returned to his original position in the playoffs while Bo Bichette was injured. Ernie Clement is set to earn 3.5 million in arbitration for the 2026 season, seeing a big pay raise after his historical, record setting performance in the postseason this year. Playing 140 games in 2025, he has established himself as a good contact hitter that can play all around the infield. Playing alot of third, he could be set as the starting third baseman for the future. Davis Schneider seems comfortable in his super utility role, playing everywhere in the infield and outfield. When needed he can play 2nd base but has had more playing time in LF.

With Andres Gimenez set in his starting role, and with Ernie Clement and Davis Schneider further establishing themselves last season, the 2nd base position is well under control and there is no need to sign anyone in free agency.

SUMMARY: Gimenez is the starter Ernie Clement when needed Davis Schneider when needed

THIRD BASE: Ernie Clement, Addison Barger, Davis Schneider

Perhaps a question mark to begin last season, the emergence of Ernie Clement and Addison Barger as every day players have seemingly solidified the 3rd base position. With George Springer getting banged up a few times during the season, Barger played many games in RF, allowing Ernie to pickup more games as the starting 3rd baseman, and I can see this being the setup for 2026 as well. With Springer potentially entering his final year as a Blue Jay, Barger may receive even more playing time in RF to set him up as the everyday guy for the future, but right now his primary position is still 3rd base. Schneider can also pick up some starts at 3rd as the super utility.

Ernie Clement played alot of third base last season, and established himself as a playoff performer setting the new hit record in a postseason. Because of this, he will most likely be the primary option for the Blue Jays, unless they want to sign a big name in free agency.

Expensive: Munetaka Murakami

At only 26 years old, Japanese third baseman Munetaka Murakami is set to make his way to the MLB for the 2026 season. Putting up a .286 average with 24 homers last season, and close to 300 homers in 9 seasons (he hit 56 in 2022 alone), Murakami is the next in a long line of Japanese stars moving to the MLB. After missing out on Ohtani and Sasaki, and with money to spend after a deep playoff run, Murakami could be an option to add more power to the Blue Jays lineup. Not including the “finders fee” MLB teams must pay to the NPB team that posts the player, Murakami is projected to get anywhere from 150-250 million from potential suitors. If the Blue Jays somehow cannot re sign Bo Bichette, Gimenez could move to shortstop, Ernie to 2nd, and slot in Murakami at third, occasionally DHing. Only 26, I think a 7 year, 200 million dollar contract adds a big power bat to an already strong offense, and with hitting coach David Popkins turning the Blue Jays into an offensive powerhouse in 2025, could work his magic on Murakami, turning him into the next big thing.

SUMMARY: Ernie Clement is the starter Munetaka Murakami – 7yr, 200 million if the Jays want to add a big star

SHORTSTOP: Bo Bichette? Andres Gimenez

Bo Bichette returned to form in 2025, batting at or above .300 for most of the season, leading the league in hits. Suffering an injury at the end of the regular season, he didn't come back until the World Series, putting in some highlight performances there as well. Currently a free agent, and presumably with a high asking price after this return to his star level, there is a future where Bo Bichette is not a Toronto Blue Jay. That being said, I think the best option is for the Blue Jays to pay the man what he has earned. If for some reason he does not re sign with the Blue Jays, Andres Gimenez has shown that he can shift over to shortstop and Ernie to second, opening up third base for a signing like Murakami.

Cheap: Andres Gimenez

Showing he can move to shortstop and put in solid defense, the Jays could use what they have and not re sign Bichette, lowering the offensive output significantly but the price tag as well. Gimenez played shortstop for the entire postseason, with Bichette moving to second base due to injury. There is also a scenario where they re sign Bichette but keep this setup, having Bo be the everyday 2nd baseman.

Expensive: Bo Bichette

Like Vladdy, Bo Bichette is a Blue Jay through and through. To picture an infield with only one of the two seems wrong, and Bichette has put in the numbers to warrant a hefty contract. At age 28, he will most likely be asking for his “final contract”, putting him as a Blue Jay for life. Because of this, I think a 7 year, 200 million dollar contract, same as Murakami, allows Blue Jay fans to exhale, knowing Vlad and Bo are Jays for life.

SUMMARY: Andres Gimenez shifts to shortstop Bo Bichette – 7yr 200 million

OUTFIELDERS: George Springer, Daulton Varsho, Nathan Lukes, Joey Loperfido, Anthony Santander, Addison Barger

Spending most of the season injured, Daulton Varsho allowed for players like Nathan Lukes and Addison Barger to receive regular playing time in the outfield, which benefited the team greatly. They further developed into starting players, and in Barger's case, a star. I think the outfield is set, and with Santander coming back and hopefully playing a full season, these 6 names are all that you need. Springer in LF, Varsho in CF, Barger in RF, with Santander at DH and Lukes and Loperfido coming off the bench, and George moving to DH for one of them to play LF if Santander continues his struggles at the plate.

SUMMARY: You have your outfield, love it. Cherish it.

DESIGNATED HITTER: The Jays signed fat stupid Santander who was injured the entire year and did nothing when he actually played. Hopefully he is healthy and productive, as that was the first of 5 year contract.

SUMMARY: Start praying

STARTING ROTATION: Kevin Gausman, Trey Yesavage, Shane Bieber, Eric Lauer, Jose Berrios

Trey Yesavage showed that he is the future ace of the Toronto Blue Jays in the 2025 playoffs, securing him an opening day roster spot. He did phenomenal against the best teams in the league, and is an easy #2 starter for the Blue Jays. Shane Bieber opted in to his 2026 player option, putting him in the starting rotation for a full season of work. Lefty Eric Lauer was great in whatever role you put him in, and put up good numbers in the postseason. The biggest question mark right now is Jose Berrios, who was relegated to the bullpen after poor performance and his first big injury in his career. Still starting in 30 games however, he is an established innings eater whose contract expires after 2028, but has a player option after 2026, but unless he pulls off an insane comeback season, he is most likely opting in. With the departure of Max Scherzer, there is an open spot in the rotation, allowing Eric Lauer to continue to be that dominant swing man out of the bullpen that can move back into the rotation if there are any injuries.

Cheap: Eric Lauer

The Blue Jays could use Eric Lauer as their sole lefty in the rotation, and he more than proved himself last season. He is set to earn 5.3 million in arbitration for the 2026 season, which is more than reasonable for a starting pitcher.

Average: Brandon Woodruff

Another righty, but after coming off from Tommy John and putting in limited work in 2025, Woodruff could be a solid Bieber-esque signing that provides a solid arm, albeit with a shaky injury history. He has only put in over 100 innings in 3 of his 8 seasons as a starting pitcher, but every season has been statistically good. He pitched 65 innings in 2025 to a 3.20 ERA (earned run average) and a <1 WHIP (walks+hits per innings pitched), and has always put in a positive WAR. He made just over 8 million in 2025, so I think a 2yr, 20 million dollar contract with a player option in the second year gives the Blue Jays another solid right hander in the rotation.

Expensive: Ranger Suarez

A mainstay of the Phillies rotation the last 6-7 years (don't say it), Ranger Suarez has proven himself to be a top lefty in the National League. Pitching at least 150 innings in 3 of the last 4 seasons, he is a solid lefty option for the Blue Jays rotation. He made 8 million in arbitration in 2025, but with Scott Boras being his agent, he will most likely be asking for 20mil/y. At 30 years old, I think a 5 year, 150 million dollar contract is still relatively cheap for a pitcher of his caliber and gives the Blue Jays a dominant lefty in their right heavy rotation.

SUMMARY: Eric Lauer – earning 5.3 million in arbitration Brandon Woodruff – 2yr, 20 million Ranger Suarez – 5yr, 150 million

BULLPEN: Jeff Hoffman, Yimi Garcia (forgot he existed), Louie Varland, Braydon Fisher, Brendon Little, Tommy Nance, Mason Fluharty, Yariel Rodriguez

Despite it's woes in the postseason, I do think the bullpen is in a good spot. Fluharty and Fisher proved themselves capable arms out of the bullpen, and with Yimi Garcia coming back from injury, this replaces the loss of Seranthony Dominguez. Jeff Hoffman was shaky in his first year as a full time closer, and ultimately would lose the World Series for the Blue Jays, giving up a homer to Miguel Rojas to tie the game in the bottom of the 9th, but I do think he will be dominant once again. That being said, there are a lot of intriguing free agents that can slot into the bullpen, taking the spot of a Yimi Garcia or Tommy Nance.

Cheap: Emilio Pagan

In his age 34 season, Emilio Pagan returned to his dominant numbers last seen in the 2023 season with the Twins, putting up a 2.88 ERA and racking up 32 saves with the Cincinnati Reds. Earning 8.2 million after opting in to his player option in 2025, he could be looking for a multiple year deal. I think a 2yr, 20 million dollar deal gives the Blue Jays a solid setup man for Hoffman.

Average: Devin Williams

After being traded from the Blue Jays to the Yankees in 2025, Devin Williams struggled mightily, putting up his worst numbers by far. Pitching to a 4.79 ERA in 62 innings, he was eventually removed from his closer role, despite previously being lights out in the years previous. I think his value is still relatively high, however, and after earning 8.6 million in arbitration in 2025, will be looking for a long term deal. I think a 4 year, 60 million dollar deal gives the Blue Jays another solid bullpen arm for the long term with a high ceiling, as I predict he returns to his dominant form in 2026.

Expensive: Edwin Diaz

After opting out of his contract this offseason, Edwin Diaz will most likely re sign with the Mets on a new deal, but if that not the case due to the Mets new GM being more frugal than previous ones, he could hit the open market. Opting out of the last 3 years of his 5 year, 102 million dollar contract signed in 2023, Diaz will most likely want a repeat of that contract after putting up solid numbers. 48 saves the last 2 season but shaky in 2024, I think his value will have dropped slightly. Still a top 5 closer in the league, I think a 5 year, 80 million dollar contract gives the Jays their dominant closer, pushing Hoffman back to his setup role where he previously flourished as part of the Phillies.

SUMMARY: Emilio Pagan – 2yr, 20 mil Devin Williams – 4yr, 60 mil Edwin Diaz – 5 year, 80 mil

As was the case last year, if even one of these happen I am once again the GOAT.

Until 1948, it was assumed that punch-drunk syndrome was a problem unique to explicit combat sports like boxing and that certain players were prone to the disease and others were effectively immune to it. The first of these myths was dispelled in 1949, when neurologist MacDonald Critchley released the paper “Punch-drunk syndromes: the chronic traumatic encephalopathy of boxers,” and the second in 2005 with Bennet Omalu's paper “Chronic traumatic encephalopathy in a national football league player.” As it turned out, any sufficient and repeated disturbance to the position of the brain in a person's skull causes the disease, by then renamed to the more neutral 'CTE.'

The development of CTE does not require, as Critchley and Martland believed, direct blows to the head nor are some people particularly resistant to it. The brain sits in your skull in more or less a pool of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF). It is not secured in place in any way other than by connection to the spinal cord and small amounts of connective tissue. Any time your head snaps forward or back, the brain sloshes in place and risks damage against the hard surface of the skull's interior. This phenomenon is obvious when a concussion occurs, in which the brain strikes the surface of the skull hard enough to cause temporary disorientation, but it also happens pretty much any time you are struck hard enough on the head that it hurts, any time that you are brought to a sudden stop while moving very fast, and any time you are exposed to a shockwave (e.g. by proximity to a very loud noise or explosion). Whenever this happens, a few things occur that contribute to the risk of developing CTE. The first is ruptures in the very tiny blood vessels that lace your brain. The rupturing of these vessels damages nearby brain cells, often permanently destroying them. Secondly, the energy introduced by the blow causes the spontaneous misfolding of an important protein called the Tau protein. Tau proteins are critical to the healthy functioning of brain tissue, and the presence of misfolded tau proteins causes the breakdown of nearby brain cells. In patients with advanced CTE, disordered tau proteins accumulate on the surfaces of the brain and cause the brain to begin breaking down from the outside inward. It is important to note that this process is not determined by genetics, it is a matter of simple biochemistry. Anyone who sustains enough hits to the head can develop CTE, as there is no way to avoid the blood vessel ruptures or tau protein misfolds that cause the disease except by not being hit in the head.

Why didn't we notice CTE until 1928?

Everyone will experience the brain injuries responsible for CTE to various degrees throughout their life, however the threshold of ruptured brain blood vessels combined with the critical mass of misfolded tau proteins is very high. You would have to take thousands of sub-concussive blows to the head or suffer more than a few concussions before you would begin to feel symptoms of lower stages of the disease. This belies the reason for CTE's relatively recent discovery compared to the wider family of dementia. Simply put: men* were not getting hit in the head enough for any well-known person to have the disease until the professionalization of sports.

Before the 20th century, sport was not really a professional affair. There were few, if any, famous paid athletes. Many leagues, including the top level leagues in soccer, rugby, and gridiron football prohibited the direct payment of players. Instead, professional athletes relied entirely on endorsement deals and under-the-table compensation. Being a professional athlete before the 1920s was not a glamorous job, and athletes earned well below average salaries. The most popular sport in Canada and the United States during the 19th century – gridiron football – was played mainly at the collegiate level, with famous athletes graduating into normal jobs after brief careers. The NFL, which sanctioned direct payment of players, would not exist until 1920 and the Canadian Football leagues would not endorse professionalization until well into the 1940s (although by 1920 most successful clubs were paying their players anyway). Boxing, the sport in which CTE was first identified, did not professionalize until 1891.

The amount of trauma you would have to experience to develop severe CTE is so great that until sports was professionalized, the majority of athletes (but not necessarily all athletes, as we will discuss) were not playing long enough to develop it. With professionalization came optimization. Not only did the careers of contact sport athletes balloon in length with the creeping in of professionalization, but so did the intensity of athletic training. It wasn't just that sporting clubs and boxing gyms want to extract the greatest value from the athletes they were now paying, but the athletes themselves were increasingly personally and socially incentivized to sacrifice absolutely everything in pursuit of making it to the top. By the time the first NFL player was officially diagnosed with CTE during an autopsy in 2005, American Football had transitioned from a casual sport to a national lottery ticket. The implicit promise of professional sports is this: if you are genetically blessed and work hard enough, you will catapult your family to extreme heights of wealth. In a system as brutally unequal as ours, millions of people are going to try that path knowing they have no other way to escape the indignity of proletarianization, even if it means becoming mentally and physically disabled before age 30.

* I use the word 'men' here deliberately. In fact, a shocking number of non-athletic women develop CTE. Twice as many women suffer from CTE relative to men (5% of men vs 10% of women) due to head trauma sustained as a result of domestic violence. CTE is not a new phenomenon, measurement of it is.

CTE and Football

On July 29th, 2025 former high school football player Shane Tamura opened fire in an office building hosting the headquarters of the NFL before turning the gun on himself, shooting himself in the chest to preserve his brain for study. According to Tamura, he had played 4 years of football at the JV and Varsity levels as a running back*, which he believed at left him with severe CTE. He claimed that the NFL had deliberately curated the competitive environment in high school football that does not adequately inform children of the risks of football while doing nothing to mitigate the likelihood of traumatic brain injury. What makes Tamura's claims particularly resonant is not just that he was found to actually have CTE in a subsequent autopsy completed earlier this week, but that he is not the first NFL player to develop CTE and become homocidally violent. Most famously, New England Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez was convicted of murder, killed himself, and was found to have Stage 3 CTE at age 27 during his autopsy.

Tamura was both right and wrong. In truth, Tamura was unlucky. Football certainly dramatically increases your risks of CTE even at the high school level, but only 20% of former high school players who play for all 4 years of eligibility develop the disease, which is 4 times the level of the general population of men but is hardly a guaranteed outcome. He is correct, however, that he was probably not made aware of the risks and the NFL is at fault for that. The NFL is very involved in amateur football at all levels, and could easily mandate stricter education on risks and strict eligibility criteria such as the immediate ending of an amateur player's career after 1 concussion, e.g., but chooses not to. The NFL could discourage children from playing tackle football entirely as the CFL does – encouraging minors to play flag football instead, but doing so risks jeopardizing the future massive talent pool the NFL relies on to both sell tickets and maintain leverage over its players union (one of the weakest in American sports).

Unfortunately for the NFL, public knowledge of the risks that football poses to brain health has increased significantly since Omalu's case report in 2005, which does pose a risk to youth football. Informed parents are less likely to enroll their children in tackle football than before knowledge of CTE was common, and youth football enrollment has declined by ~6% in the US since the report was released.

* a position in gridiron football equivalent to a centre or fullback in rugby. Running backs are particularly vulnerable to injury, whether to the brain or otherwise. This is because of the specific role of the running back, who is tasked with punching the ball through the defensive line (one of the physically largest groups of players on the field), and the body type prioritized for the position (smaller players are typically put in this position due to their lower centre of gravity).

CTE and other sports

Sucks to be the NFL or whatever organization it is that is in charge of MMA nowadays, one supposes! As evidence mounts on how easy it is to get CTE from not just fighting but also football, it may appear that those sports are uniquely doomed. The NFL does not seem worried, though, and for good reason. The pendulum of evidence begins to swing in the other direction and all the NFL has to do is wait.

The reason why CTE was first noticed in boxing is that combat sports are uniquely violent. Football was the second sport to have a major crisis with CTE because it was simply next on the list of most violent sports, but as scientific interest in CTE has increased so has the evidence that the best athletes in basically every sport are getting it. The dam broke on this in 2020, when autopsies of Rugby and Australian Rules Football players found significant rates of CTE. Then, ice hockey, and even baseball and soccer were eventually found to significantly increase the risk of CTE. Football is bad for your brain, but not uniquely so. The NFL gambled that the whole CTE thing would blow over, and they are probably going to be proven right. As more and more sports are found to raise your risks of CTE, the risk sustained by football players will be washed away in a tide of noise. CTE, it turns out, has more to do with being a professional athlete than what sport that athlete happens to play, even if certain organizations have obfuscated the particular level of risk of their particular sport for their own benefits.

What should we be doing about CTE?

To be clear, I am not saying that football's risks are exaggerated in the aggregate. CTE is not the only potential risk from playing football. Famously, Calvin “Megatron” Johnson was left permanently unable to run after his retirement from the NFL, as he had sustained so many fractures in his lower legs that his ankles had fused from improper healing. All it takes is one bad play to be paralyzed or worse, even if you don't play long enough to raise your CTE risk. What I am saying, however, is that the specific threat of CTE will not kill football. You could make the argument that through their own actions, the NFL has caused thousands or even millions of people to suffer the effects of CTE and something should be done about this. But what?

The NFL's status as the world's most profitable sporting institution on Earth makes it nigh untouchable in the United States. Even attempts to regulate it without holding the NFL accountable for its role in all this are essentially impossible. Last year, the state legislature of California, the state in the union that is ruled by an unholy union of tech nerds and granola hippies and therefore should be the most amenable to shuttering football passed a bill restricting organized tackle football to people over the age of 12. The bill was vetoed and even if it hadn't been vetoed, it would've been swiftly struck down by the first court it was challenged in. I don't think there is anywhere in the United States with the political will to mandate a curtailment of the risks of American Football to the athletes who play it and I don't think any theoretical advocacy group would ever succeed in boosting that cause.

The fight to reduce the risk of CTE is further complicated by the fact that technically speaking, CTE can only be diagnosed in autopsy. Research is ongoing in making misfolded Tau proteins show up on PET scans, but as of now, there is no way to know if an amateur athlete needs to retire for the sake of their brain until they're already dead. Hopefully, the research advances on this to the point where conscientious athletes or their guardians can monitor their brain health and step out when the risks have become too great, but I'm not holding my breath (remember the economic incentives to ignore all this!)

Do not forget, though, that football is not the only game that gives you CTE. Even if football were to disappear from the Earth tomorrow, the only real answer to CTE is the end of professional sports itself. It was not sport as a past-time that has caused the rise of CTE in athletes, it is sports as a profession. The obsession with optimization and training incentivized by sports as the only realistic escape from grinding poverty for billions of people. Before the NFL and MMA and FIFA, people were playing street football, joining boxing gyms, and kicking soccer balls around in fields every once in a while without realistically risking CTE. Professionalization of sports is an inevitable result of capitalism. People enjoy playing and watching sports, thus it must be marketized and commodified. I leave you with the following advice: don't let your future kids play tackle football.

“Whatever,” to paraphrase Donald Trump, “I'll keep watching that garbage.”

Life management.

I have a buncha crap I use to keep on top of my goals.

Notes and calendars are for goal management.

Goal: I MUST attend to my contractual obligations.

I am contractually obligated to have my butt in a seat clicking buttons to make money. There are temporospatial components to this goal. If the completion criteria of the goal involves being at a specific place at a specific time, then the distance between here and there is mighty important.

Calendar event repeating logic; consider a meeting that happens every 2 weeks on Wednesday. There was a Rust project that parsed the strings used by iCal or whatever. I remember reading the article about it. How might I find that article again? TODO: insert link here.

If the distance between NOW() and GOAL() is GREATER THAN “2 minutes” THEN CANNOT RELY EXCLUSIVELY ON BRAIN. We MUST outsource partial responsibility for meeting this goal.

Alarms for waking up and recycling are permanent fixtures in my clock app. They repeat every week. When I toggle one of the alarms off, say, the 11:00 p.m. Recycling alarm that repeats every Sunday, the app gives me a button to “Turn back on for October 5” (it is currently 10:54 p.m. on September 28th.)

What is the output behaviour of these alarms?

The device manifests sound and vibrations at the designated time until acknowledged. This behaviour has a low failure rate for arresting operator attention and reducing the risk that a goal is missed.

Potential caveats to the ability of alarms to meet goals include:

• Accidentally frame-zero dismissing an alarm by tapping the screen during normal operation of the device and having the “dismiss” button appearing in the strike zone
• Triggering at an time where it is situationally inappropriate for the aggressive attention-seeking mechanisms; movie theaters, operating heavy machinery
• Dismissing an alarm when intending to snooze it instead
• Desensitization to alarms due to overuse
• Aggressive context-switching due to alarms where a softer reminder would have sufficed

If I am aiming to catch a bus, or am obligated to pick someone up at the airport, then alarms are preem for ensuring timely departure to meet such goals.

Calendars are suited for longer time horizon goals. If two goals have coinciding completion windows, then satisfying one goal may occlude the completion of another.

Calendars help track what time slots have already been allocated, making it easy to identify conflicts when scheduling other activities.

If you find yourself scheduling so many activities that manual allocation is growing tedious, such as organizing a sports league or allocating classrooms, then check out Prolog. – The Power of Prolog – School Timetabling with Prolog – https://www.metalevel.at/prolog/timetabling/

I use Google Calendar, which makes it easy to attach email reminders to my calendar events.

Google Calendars is also integrated with Google Tasks, which is a simple checkbox task tracker similar to the ye olde Apple Reminders app. These Tasks can have due dates assigned to them, have push notifications on my phone, appear in the calendar if a date is assigned, and can be set as recurring.

As with every task system, the atrophy can be easily observed in the items that have been present in this simple system marked as “overdue – 26 weeks ago”.

Some examples: – Set up a timelapse app on a spare phone because it would be cool – Perform some data science to make graphs of message frequency calculated from exports from various chat applications

Just did some chores.

Goal: find the link for the previous todo.

Tried: searching Google Keep for “event” and “rust” (two separate searches), was unable to locate matching item.

Tried: I have a folder in my documents named “articles” where I ctrl+s some webpages I find interesting.

My 11:40 PM recycling alarm just went off. I have two, because sometimes I'm occupied when the 11:00 PM one goes off and I've been burned before.

I can't ctrl+s a website when I'm on my phone tho. Instead, I can hit the share button and share the URL to OneDrive and manually navigate to the directory in the save dialog where it will save a txt file with the URL. Close enough. Bit of a pain though.

There's 120 items in this articles directory. I ain't readin' all those names.

• Right click
• Open in terminal
• ls | Set-Clipboard
• t3.chat
• paste
• “which of these likely talks about using rust to parse calendar event repeat strings”

🎯 Likeliest file: 👉 Marching Events_ What does iCalendar have to do with ray marching_ _ pwy.io.html (or its .txt / Hacker News mirror versions) That’s almost certainly the one that discusses parsing iCalendar repeat strings (possibly with Rust).

So here's the blog post

• https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43704364
• https://pwy.io/posts/marching-events/

Basically, this being-a-responsible-human[✝] shit is complicated and trying to codify it into a rules system is equally complicated, and liable to shatter at the encounterance of anything not conforming to the system.

[✝] languagejones – Linguists just made a breakthrough in defining a 'word. ' No, really https://adele.scholar.princeton.edu/publications/english-phrase-lemma-construction-when-phrase-masquerades-word-people-play-along

caption: a text box with a youtube url

vs

caption: a text box with a url with the title of a video instead of the url itself

Being organized is about levers.

caption: “Give me a firm place to stand and a lever and I can move the Earth.”

(image url)

I made a tool that lets me copy a markdown-formatted YouTube URL with the click of a button

caption: a YouTube webpage with buttons below the video player, followed by a note taking section:

• Timestamp
• Download
• Transcript
• Subtitles
• Copy to clipboard
• Copies video information to clipboard

I use tools other people have made, like ShareX, to make it easy to take screenshots, OCR, measure stuff, pick colors, etc.

Caption: Using ShareX to screenshot the process of screenshotting the process of selecting a region of the screen to OCR

The screenshots from ShareX go to a folder that is being backed up by OneDrive, which gives me straightforward access from my phone.

If you can't find what you're looking for, then taking notes might as well be going to write-only memory (WOM)

Try this alternative to Windows Explorer: https://filepilot.tech/

I remember hearing the WOM joke in uni. I wonder if I can retrieve these memories?

Apparently, yes, without having to ripgrep through exports.

See also: Mongo DB Is Web Scale

Browser history, WindowsKey+V, plaintext notes, Google Keep, calendars, clock app alarms, ShareX screenshots... notes only have worth in their ability to be retrieved when needed.

Otherwise, we could just live in hedonism without worrying about the future.

But I can see the future, and the future has me thinking of a meme from years ago and lamenting that I can't freaking find it.

caption: fortune telling meme – I see you alone with a lot of notes, jeepers that's a lot of memes

I'm in the privileged position that I am very good with compootr

On a research binge and have a bazillion tabs open? Create a browser extension to pop open a text area with all your tabs as markdown.

Too many browser windows open? Create a browser extension to move all the tabs into one window

Too many files? Create a CLI tool to read the master file table to search 15 million paths in 17 seconds

In the end, it's all about context management.

YC Root Access – Advanced Context Engineering for Agents

I use note taking as a way to allow myself to forget about everything.

If I know it's in a file somewhere, I know I have the tools to find it again.

If I know it's in an alarm somewhere, I know I will be reminded when the time is right.

If I know if it's in a calendar somewhere, I know I won't schedule another activity for the same timeslot.

Reading Stats for January to June 2025

• Total Books Read: 17 (let’s gooo!!)
• Reading Mediums: 16.5 physical books, 0.5 audiobook (explanation in book review below) (can you tell I prefer to read physical books)
• Books Owned vs. Borrowed: 8.5 books owned, 2 books borrowed from friends/family, 6.5 books borrowed from library

The Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Sometimes, the worst day of your life happens, and you have to figure out how to live after it.

So Clementine forms a plan to keep her heart safe: work hard, find someone decent to love, and try to remember to chase the moon. The last one is silly and obviously metaphorical, but her aunt always told her that you needed at least one big dream to keep going. And for the last year, that plan has gone off without a hitch. Mostly. The love part is hard because she doesn’t want to get too close to anyone — she isn’t sure her heart can take it.

And then she finds a strange man standing in the kitchen of her late aunt’s apartment. A man with kind eyes and a Southern drawl and a taste for lemon pies. The kind of man that, before it all, she would’ve fallen head-over-heels for. And she might again.

Except, he exists in the past. Seven years ago, to be exact. And she, quite literally, lives seven years in his future.

Her aunt always said the apartment was a pinch in time, a place where moments blended together like watercolors. And Clementine knows that if she lets her heart fall, she’ll be doomed.

After all, love is never a matter of time — but a matter of timing.

My Thoughts: I picked up this book after being recommended Ashley Poston by the ever-lovely Elisa. I ended up binge-reading all of Ashley Poston’s popular titles, and out of all the ones I read, this one quickly became my favourite.

I’m a big fan of Poston’s approach to magical realism in her stories — they feel cozy, beautifully written and heartwarming without leaning into being too unrealistic. I always love a charming, modern, magical world like this, à la Practical Magic (1998).

I loved the main characters, Clementine and Iwan. They were, in my opinion, perfectly written rom-com characters — quirky without being annoying, charming without being eye-roll-inducing, with believable chemistry between them that made me understand why they’d be into each other. And, most importantly, why they’d be friends (Reader, take note: any and every good romance can be judged by the single question — romantic feelings aside, are they good friends?).

I fell in love with Iwan right alongside Clementine, he’s like the Platonic ideal of a good rom-com’s love interest. The way they fall in love with each other despite living in different times (he’s 7 years in the past from her), and her determination as she sets out to find him in her present… god, I love romance.

Romance aside, I loved how this book wasn’t afraid to go past the surface level that a typical rom-com would skate on. The story focuses on Clementine’s journey of self-discovery first and foremost, and it does it so well. We explore her journey of self-discovery through her friendships, her passions, her mistakes, and her grief.

I think the way this book handles grief was what made it a 4.5 / 5 for me. Grief is universal. This book took me on an unexpectedly reflective and meaningful journey through the universal experience of loss, and the resilience you need to find to navigate the grief in the aftermath. Instead of encountering grief as an obstacle that is overcome once and then forever defeated, Poston explores Clementine’s grief over her aunt’s death as integral to her life story and self-discovery. It felt respectful, it felt real, I loved it.

If you’re looking for a romance that dives a bit deeper than your typical rom-com, I highly recommend this book.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Eileen Merriweather loves to get lost in a good happily-ever-after. The fictional kind, anyway. Because at least imaginary men don’t leave you at the altar. She feels safe in a book. At home. Which might be why she’s so set on going to her annual book club retreat this year — she needs good friends, cheap wine, and grand romantic gestures — no matter what.

But when her car unexpectedly breaks down on the way, she finds herself stranded in a quaint town that feels like it’s right out of a novel…

Because it is.

This place can’t be real, and yet… she’s here, in Eloraton, the town of her favorite romance series, where the candy store’s honey taffy is always sweet, the local bar’s burgers are always a little burnt, and rain always comes in the afternoon. It feels like home. It’s perfect — and perfectly frozen, trapped in the late author’s last unfinished story.

Elsy is sure that’s why she must be here: to help bring the town to its storybook ending.

Except there is a character in Eloraton that she can’t place — a grumpy bookstore owner with mint-green eyes, an irritatingly sexy mouth and impeccable taste in novels. And he does not want her finishing this book.

Which is a problem because Elsy is beginning to think the town’s happily-ever-after might just be intertwined with her own.

My Thoughts: This book was such a love letter to book lovers, I couldn’t help but smile while reading it. The way Poston writes about the joy of reading and having a love for books was ridiculously sweet and heartwarming, it just makes you want to curl up on your couch with a good book and mug of tea and honey.

Don’t get me wrong, this book is full of romance cliches. I mean, the entire plot is about a reader magically stumbling into the small town where all of her favourite romance books are set, what do you expect? But despite the cliches and cheesiness, this was just a fun read.

While this book wasn’t anything groundbreaking, it was cozy and cute and fun. What happened to having fun?!

If you’re looking to turn your brain off for a second and just enjoy romance for romance’s sake, if you’re just craving some high quality romance cheese, I recommend this book.

My Rating: 4 / 5

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: The New York Times bestseller from the Grammy-nominated indie rockstar Japanese Breakfast, an unflinching, deeply moving memoir about growing up mixed-race, Korean food, losing her Korean mother, and forging her own identity in the wake of her loss.

In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humour and heart, she tells of growing up the only Asian-American kid at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the east coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, performing gigs with her fledgling band — and meeting the man who would become her husband — her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live.

It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

My Thoughts: I don’t think I ever heaved a sob while reading a book, until I read this book. Good God, man.

This book is, in my opinion, the perfect memoir. Written in a way that I can only describe as “lyrical beauty”, this book broke me down. The raw emotion that Zauner is able to convey in her words truly left me in awe — the quiet devastation, the deep reflection, the sheer wisdom that grows from life experiences — good and bad. She wrote it all so beautifully.

Her reflection on growing up mixed race hit A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO HOME! DEAR GOD! The big emotions of not feeling like you’re “enough” of either side stemming from small moments… Not understanding the language, the deep-seated embarrassment of trying to speak the language with a North American accent, not knowing parts of cultural customs because you were raised outside of it… OUCH! That hurt! A lot!

Then this book comes at you with the double whammy of also being an exploration of Zauner’s troubled relationship with her Korean mother, who died from pancreatic cancer when she was 25 years old. The exact age I was as I read this book. As if it couldn’t hit any harder.

This book takes you through the life story of Zauner and her mother’s relationship in such a vivid, haunting, beautiful way. When her mother’s cancer worsens and the roles steadily reverse as Zauner begins to take care of her mother, Zauner finds comfort in cooking traditional Korean food. I adored the journey of food in this book. Not only was the food written in such a lovely way, it encapsulated every thread of the memoir so well — traditional Korean food was how Zauner felt loved by her mother, how she would try re-connecting with her mother, and how she would try to connect with her own Korean heritage after her mother’s death.

I’m at a loss for words now. This memoir was perfect. Devastating and haunting, this book will leave you in exquisite pain and you will thank it in return. I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a memoir, or a good book in general.

Remember to call your mom.

My Rating: 5 / 5

Rules for a Knight by Ethan Hawke

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned (Noah’s copy)

Official Synopsis: A knight, fearing he may not return from battle, writes a letter to his children in an attempt to leave a record of all he knows. In a series of ruminations on solitude, humility, forgiveness, honesty, courage, grace, pride, and patience, he draws on the ancient teachings of Eastern and Western philosophy, and on the great spiritual and political writings of our time. His intent: to give his children a compass for a journey they will have to make alone, a short guide to what gives life meaning and beauty.

My Thoughts: I needed to pick the broken pieces of myself off the ground after Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H Mart. So I picked up an old favourite book that had the added benefit of being short enough to read within an hour or so.

I first read Rules for a Knight when Noah lent me his copy back in high school. I loved it then, and I love it now.

I am in love with the book’s framing device — it is a knight writing a letter the night before a big battle, where he is almost certainly going to die. Knowing this, he writes out every life lesson he wants to pass on to his children in the form of a letter to them. It is bittersweet, Ethan Hawke’s writing style somehow perfectly conveyed the tone of a loving father not wanting to say goodbye to his children.

Each chapter is titled after a virtue that encompasses the life lesson our fictional knight wants to pass onto his children — and each lesson happens to correlate chronologically with his experiences becoming a squire then knight.

This book is just so sweet. The life lessons aren’t anything new or groundbreaking, but they’re kind reminders that I don’t mind hearing again.

If you’re looking to get out of a reading slump with a quick read, or if you are like me and just love stories about knights, I highly recommend this short read.

My Rating: 5 / 5

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: Florence Day is the ghostwriter for one of the most prolific romance authors in the industry, and she has a problem — after a terrible breakup, she no longer believes in love. It’s as good as dead.

When her new editor, a too-handsome mountain of a man, won’t give her an extension on her book deadline, Florence prepares to kiss her career goodbye. But then she gets a phone call she never wanted to receive, and she must return home for the first time in a decade to help her family bury her beloved father.

For ten years, she’s run from the town that never understood her, and even though she misses the sound of a warm Southern night and her eccentric, loving family and their funeral parlor, she can’t bring herself to stay. Even with her father gone, it feels like nothing in this town has changed. And she hates it.

Until she finds a ghost standing at the funeral parlor’s front door, just as broad and infuriatingly handsome as ever, and he’s just as confused about why he’s there as she is.

Romance is most certainly dead... but so is her new editor, and his unfinished business will have her second-guessing everything she’s ever known about love stories.

My Thoughts: This book was pretty good, but I can definitely tell that this is one of Poston’s earlier books. Her writing style felt less refined, and she (much to my chagrin) used a lot of millennial slang (“doggo”, “zoom zoom juice” for coffee, etc…………….).

But putting that aside, the story was still cute. While a little predictable, I liked the main characters, and their romance was enjoyable enough to read. The premise itself is definitely this book’s biggest win — she’s a professional ghostwriter who can also talk to ghosts?! And she ends up falling in love with her new book editor… after he dies and becomes a ghost that only she can communicate with?! C’mon, that’s so fun.

Like The Seven Year Slip, this book tackles grief as Florence deals with the death of her beloved father. The grief plotline was definitely one of the more interesting parts of this book, and I can definitely see how this book’s exploration of grief was almost like a warm-up for the way Poston handles it in The Seven Year Slip. While it wasn’t bad at all, I found myself feeling not as emotionally invested as the writing style bogged it down.

This book was good; however, it didn’t capture my attention or my heart in the same way Poston’s other books did.

My Rating: 3 / 5

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: The many lives of theoretical physicist Elsie Hannaway have finally caught up with her. By day, she’s an adjunct professor, toiling away at grading labs and teaching thermodynamics in the hopes of landing tenure. By other day, Elsie makes up for her non-existent paycheck by offering her services as a fake girlfriend, tapping into her expertly honed people pleasing skills to embody whichever version of herself the client needs.

Honestly, it’s a pretty sweet gig — until her carefully constructed Elsie-verse comes crashing down. Because Jack Smith, the annoyingly attractive and broody older brother of her favorite client, turns out to be the cold-hearted experimental physicist who ruined her mentor’s career and undermined the reputation of theorists everywhere. And that same Jack who now sits on the hiring committee at MIT, right between Elsie and her dream job.

Elsie is prepared for an all-out war of scholarly sabotage but…those long, penetrating looks? Not having to be anything other than her true self when she’s with him? Will falling into an experimentalist’s orbit finally tempt her to put her most guarded theories on love into practice?

My Thoughts: Well, well, well. Ali Hazelwood, we meet again!

Reader, you may remember from my previous Reading Round-Up my supposed beef with Ali Hazelwood. Well, you may be shocked (yet pleased?) to hear that I’m… just kinda okay with Ali Hazelwood now. Yeah, her writing isn’t anything to write home about, but I will give her this — her writing style is addictive. Her stuff is like romance crack cocaine: It’s not that good for you, but it’ll give you a pretty good high for a minute there, and it’s extremely easy to quickly consume.

While Ali Hazelwood may not be the best romance writer out there, I dare say she may be improving with all of these books she’s churning out. I didn’t totally hate this book like I have with many of her other books. Did I like it? Meh, it was okay.

This book in particular (allegedly one of her best, according to her fans) was just okay. The romance was okay, the characters were okay, the plot was predictable but okay. Just very… okay.

Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it, don’t think I’d recommend it.

My Rating: 2 / 5

Hornblower and the Atropos by C.S. Forester

Reading Medium: Half physical, half audiobook

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned physical copy, borrowed audiobook from library

Official Synopsis: In the wake of a humbling incident aboard a canal boat in the Cotswolds, young Captain Horatio Hornblower arrives in London to take command of the Atropos, a 22-gun sloop barely large enough to require a captain. Her first assignment under Hornblower's command is as flagship for the funeral procession of Lord Nelson.

Soon Atropos is part of the Mediterranean Fleet's harassment of Napoleon, recovering treasure that lies deep in Turkish waters and boldly challenging a Spanish frigate several times her size. At the center of each adventure is Hornblower, Forester's most inspired creation, whose blend of cautious preparation and spirited execution dazzles friend and foe alike.

My Thoughts: I was pleasantly surprised by Hornblower! After receiving my copy from Bennet during our book club’s White Elephant book exchange, I was eager to read it as I’ve always been a fan of historical fiction revolving around life on the sea – pirates, navy officers, etc.

The action is fun and well-written, and outside of the action, I enjoyed reading the small details of Hornblower’s life as he moves his family to London and accepts the command of the Atropos.

The pacing is pretty slow at many points in the book, however, and I found myself feeling like I was waiting for more to happen. I switched to listening to my library’s audiobook version in order to finish the book in time for our book club’s meeting, and I do think listening to the narration (at 1.5x speed, forgive me anti-audiobookers) helped me finish the book on a higher note.

And yes, I did rate this book ever so slightly higher than Dune (3 / 5).

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

Wildfire by Hannah Grace

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: Maple Hills students Russ Callaghan and Aurora Roberts cross paths at a party celebrating the end of the academic year, where a drinking game results in them having a passionate one-night stand. Never one to overstay her welcome (or expect much from a man), Aurora slips away before Russ even has the chance to ask for her full name.

Imagine their surprise when they bump into each other on the first day of the summer camp where they are both counselors, hoping to escape their complicated home lives by spending the summer working. Russ hopes if he gets far enough away from Maple Hills, he can avoid dealing with the repercussions of his father’s gambling addiction, while Aurora is tired of craving attention from everyone around her, and wants to go back to the last place she truly felt at home.

Russ knows breaking the camp’s strict “no staff fraternizing” rule will have him heading back to Maple Hills before the summer is over, but unfortunately for him, Aurora has never been very good at caring about the rules. Will the two learn to peacefully coexist? Or did their one night together start a fire they can’t put out?

My Thoughts: Hannah Grace, author of Icebreaker… We meet again!

When I found out that Hannah Grace was expanding the Icebreaker universe by writing more romance books about every single secondary character’s love stories, my inner hater rejoiced. However, it was like the romance gods (Aphrodite?) were looking out for me and my sanity.

I was relieved to find that I did not hate this book as much as I hated Icebreaker. Was it a good romance book? No, not really. Did every character piss me off as they went through an infuriating and nonsensical plot? Thankfully, no.

I’ll give Hannah Grace some kudos here — I feel like she read her hate comments and roast reviews and actually took some as constructive criticism. Her characters in this book were FAR less infuriating than the main characters of Icebreaker — they were just kind of dumb at times, and that I can live with.

The plot was lackluster and predictable, but not infuriating! Wow! I appreciated Hannah Grace’s obvious effort to give her characters more emotional depth and a deeper chemistry than Icebreaker ’s eye-roll-inducing lack of chemistry. It wasn’t done super well, but I appreciated that the main characters actually took some time on the page to talk about their feelings and talk through their problems instead of just bonin’.

How I feel about this book is equivalent to a teacher seeing a straight-F kid finally get a D-. Not perfect, far from it, but it’s a start.

My Rating: 2 / 5

Daydream by Hannah Grace

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: When his procrastination lands him in a difficult class with his least favorite professor, Henry Turner knows he’s going to have to work extra hard to survive his junior year of college. And now with his new title of captain for the hockey team — which he didn’t even want — Henry absolutely cannot fail. Enter Halle Jacobs, a fellow junior who finds herself befriended by Henry when he accidentally crashes her book club.

Halle may not have the romantic pursuits of her favorite fictional leads, but she’s an academic superstar, and as soon as she hears about Henry’s problems with his class reading material, she offers to help. Too bad being a private tutor isn’t exactly ideal given her own studies, job, book club, and the novel she’s trying to write. But new experiences are the key to beating her writer’s block, and Henry’s promising to be the one to give them to her.

They just need to stick to their rule book. Oh, and not fall in love.

My Thoughts: Another D- read from Hannah Grace — there was definite improvement from Icebreaker, but still just meh overall.

This book was the definition of no plot, just vibes. It felt like reading a Pinterest board, it gave me the exact same low buzz of entertainment. There were some cute moments that made me grin and go “aw”, as well as some funny moments that made me chuckle, but they were few and far between.

The plot as a whole was EXTREMELY repetitive. It got to the point that I started skimming conversations because they were all the same. Every conversation between the main characters felt like a therapist’s textbook examples on what a healthy relationship should sound like. I was okay with it at first, but it quickly made the main relationship very robotic and bland. No organic chemistry in sight.

On top of that, the main characters (especially the main girl Halle) felt very one-note in even their personal conflicts — they had a problem, they worried about the problem, then the problem was resolved 2 pages later because they talked about it with someone. Rinse and repeat 100 times, and that was the entire book. Overall, the book could have been edited down to be maybe 100-200 pages shorter.

While this book wasn’t perfect, I’ll continue to hold some cautious optimism that Hannah Grace will possibly improve as a romance author.

My Rating: 2 / 5

The Women by Kristin Hannah

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from Mom

Official Synopsis: Women can be heroes. When twenty-year-old nursing student Frances “Frankie” McGrath hears these words, it is a revelation. Raised in the sun-drenched, idyllic world of Southern California and sheltered by her conservative parents, she has always prided herself on doing the right thing. But in 1965, the world is changing, and she suddenly dares to imagine a different future for herself. When her brother ships out to serve in Vietnam, she joins the Army Nurse Corps and follows his path.

As green and inexperienced as the men sent to Vietnam to fight, Frankie is over-whelmed by the chaos and destruction of war. Each day is a gamble of life and death, hope and betrayal; friendships run deep and can be shattered in an instant. In war, she meets — and becomes one of — the lucky, the brave, the broken, and the lost.

But war is just the beginning for Frankie and her veteran friends. The real battle lies in coming home to a changed and divided America, to angry protesters, and to a country that wants to forget Vietnam.

My Thoughts: This was my first Kristin Hannah book, and I must say, she lives up to the hype. This book was one of my favourite historical fictions that I read this year.

Extremely well-written, even mundane scenes felt vivid and lively. Kristin Hannah just has a way of writing that hits you hard, it’s powerful and harrowing and just so well done. I really enjoyed the overall pacing of the story too, it felt like I was flying through this woman’s life, and I’ve always loved stories that follow a character’s entire life.

I liked the main character Frankie, and her story of growing from her naive and sheltered life. I also loved how Frankie’s friends were written throughout the story — they had very distinct personalities and lives of their own, and I really loved how their friendships were written, during and after the war. They were always there for each other, and it warmed my heart to read.

I think my only gripe with this book was that I didn’t really like Frankie’s love interests, or the fact that every boy Frankie met was inexplicably deeply in love with her out of the blue. It felt a little Mary Sue, but perhaps it was further commentary on how women were treated while working on the warfront.

While the storylines, especially the romantic subplots, were a little predictable — I thoroughly enjoyed this read. I’d recommend this to anyone looking to dip their toe into historical fiction.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

Bad Men by Julie Mae Cohen

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Saffy Huntley-Oliver is an intelligent and glamorous socialite; she also happens to be a proficient serial killer. For the past fifteen years, she's hunted down and dispatched rapists, murderers, domestic abusers — bad men all. But leading a double life has left her lonely — dating’s tough when your boyfriend might turn out to be your next victim. Saffy thinks she's finally found a truly good man in Jonathan Desrosiers, a true-crime podcaster who’s amassed legions of die-hard fans for cracking cold cases and bringing justice to victims­­.

When a decapitated body shows up on Jon's doorstep the morning after his wife leaves him, he becomes the chief suspect for a murder he insists he didn’t commit. Saffy’s crush becomes an obsession as she orchestrates a meet-cute and volunteers to help Jon clear his name, using every trick up her sleeve to find the real killer and get her man — no matter the cost.

My Thoughts: Meh, this book was just alright. I was intrigued by the premise, but the plot was very predictable. I will admit, however, that the writing was just the right level of entertaining that it kept me engaged enough to finish the book.

Every character in this book was pretty cliche, and the “romance” felt incredibly forced. The plot demands romance to happen here, so thus it must happen! Who cares about building chemistry!

As I said, I liked the idea of a “Joe Goldberg from YOU” -esque female serial killer who targets who she considers “bad men”. Like Joe Goldberg, I was intrigued to read her internal thoughts and narration, and how she would justify the murders to herself and potentially others. So why couldn’t the book have focused on that?! Why was the majority of this “feminist” story told from the MMC’s perspective with a predictable whodunnit plot?

I was very much not a fan of the book’s dual narrative between Saffy (our female serial killer with a dumb nickname) and Jonathan (melba toast MMC). I think the book would have actually been much better if we were stuck in Saffy’s head like we were in Joe Goldberg’s head in YOU — we would have been able to get a clearer and deeper picture of Saffy’s character instead of the femme fatale bullshit we saw through Jonathan’s perspective.

A good premise unfortunately victimized by underwhelming execution.

My Rating: 3 / 5

Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide by Rupert Holmes

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Who hasn’t wondered for a split second what the world would be like if a person who is the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you’ve probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death. The campus of this “Poison Ivy League” college — its location unknown to even those who study there — is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate… and where one’s mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder of someone whose death will make the world a much better place to live.

My Thoughts: Oh, how I adored this book, I feel like I devoured it in one sitting. Such a wonderfully unique and clever and witty story — I was genuinely impressed by how much thought was put into every little detail.

Rupert Holmes is an incredible writer. Famous for penning the famous Piña Colada song (isn’t that wild?!) — I was a big fan of Holmes’ hilarious “dry British humour” style of writing. Ratfic fans, I feel like you’d enjoy this one, considering how clever I found every single character and their actions. I tip my cap to you, Mr. Holmes!

When I finished this book, I was immediately itching to either read its sequel (release date TBD) or just read it from the start again. That’s when you know you’ve found a banger.

I highly recommend this one to anyone who reads.

My Rating: 5 / 5

Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Alice Scott is an eternal optimist still dreaming of her big writing break. Hayden Anderson is a Pulitzer-prize winning human thundercloud. And they’re both on balmy Little Crescent Island for the same reason: To write the biography of a woman no one has seen in years — or at least to meet with the octogenarian who claims to be the Margaret Ives. Tragic heiress, former tabloid princess, and daughter of one of the most storied (and scandalous) families of the 20th Century.

When Margaret invites them both for a one-month trial period, after which she’ll choose the person who’ll tell her story, there are three things keeping Alice’s head in the game.

One: Alice genuinely likes people, which means people usually like Alice — and she has a whole month to win the legendary woman over.

Two: She’s ready for this job and the chance to impress her perennially unimpressed family with a Serious Publication.

Three: Hayden Anderson, who should have no reason to be concerned about losing this book, is glowering at her in a shaken-to-the core way that suggests he sees her as competition.

But the problem is, Margaret is only giving each of them pieces of her story. Pieces they can’t swap to put together because of an ironclad NDA and an inconvenient yearning pulsing between them every time they’re in the same room. And it’s becoming abundantly clear that their story — just like the tale Margaret’s spinning — could be a mystery, tragedy, or love ballad… depending on who’s telling it.

My Thoughts: Oh Emily Henry, how I love thee. I digress, I don’t think this book is one of her best. But I loved it all the same. While there were a few things I felt neutral about/mildly disliked, let's talk about what I loved first.

I loved the character of Margaret Ives and the Ives family storyline. I’m a big sucker for stories surrounding the trials and tribulations of fame, especially in old Hollywood, so the story of Margaret Ives was right up my alley. Even though I haven’t read either book yet (perhaps they’ll appear in a future Reading Round-Up soon) — I got the same vibes as Evelyn Hugo/Daisy Jones and the Six with this deep-dive into 20th century salacious fame.

I am, as if it wasn’t already clear, a big fan of Emily Henry’s god-tier writing. I love how she makes her settings feel cozy and alive, I felt like I was right there in that coastal town. I was also a big fan of Alice as a main character — I liked how Emily Henry wrote her as an optimistic and cheery character, without coming off as naive or annoying. I also greatly appreciated how her somewhat-strained relationship with her mom was written, I felt like that sub-plot was written so well.

While I did not love Hayden and Alice’s insta-love beginning, I did enjoy their romance in the second half. I just wish it had burned a bit more slowly, and that we saw them become friends first. I wanted to see them like each other before diving into loving each other, having “oh I like this person” in between “who is this stranger” and “I love this person with my entire being”. Another small critique I have for this book is that I wish we got a bit more of Margaret and her husband Cosmo’s life together — they were supposedly this grand Hollywood love story, but it felt somewhat skimmed through.

Despite these small critiques, I am eager to re-read this one already.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

Deep End by Ali Hazelwood

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Official Synopsis: Scarlett Vandermeer is swimming upstream. A Junior at Stanford and a student-athlete who specializes in platform diving, Scarlett prefers to keep her head down, concentrating on getting into med school and on recovering from the injury that almost ended her career. She has no time for relationships — at least, that’s what she tells herself.

Swim captain, world champion, all-around aquatics golden boy, Lukas Blomqvist thrives on discipline. It’s how he wins gold medals and breaks records: complete focus, with every stroke. On the surface, Lukas and Scarlett have nothing in common. Until a well-guarded secret slips out, and everything changes.

So they start an arrangement. And as the pressure leading to the Olympics heats up, so does their relationship. It was supposed to be just a temporary, mutually satisfying fling. But when staying away from Lukas becomes impossible, Scarlett realizes that her heart might be treading into dangerous water...

My Thoughts: Am I high or something? Why are my most hated authors from my last Reading Round-Up not being so hateable with their newer books?

I must speak the truth: I think this book is Ali Hazelwood’s best yet. It’s marginally better than all of her other books I have read thus far.

Funny enough, I think the fact that BDSM was a main theme in this book actually helped the overall plot. There were no annoying miscommunications or unnecessary third act shenanigans, and the main characters actually spoke to each other instead of dumbly seething. I liked how no-nonsense Lukas was as a love interest, and I’ll admit… he had me blushin’.

Scarlett at times was a bit of an annoying character to read with her doormat personality, and there were still so… so many cringy millenial/2013 tumblr jokes. The main plotline was also extremely predictable with the way Penelope, Scarlett’s best friend-turned-main antagonist, kept pushing them together than got mad when… they got together? Because she was jealous after setting up her best friend and ex who she broke up with? Ugh, Penelope was the most annoying character. I don’t know how they forgave her so quickly after she made Scarlett miss receiving her first gold medal with her shenanigans.

The smut had some cringy lines, like Ali Hazelwood’s smut scenes always do, but I admit… they were better, probably her best, when compared to her previous ones. Again, I think the inherent importance of communication in BDSM actually helped her write a better romance.

If you were ever intrigued to read an Ali Hazelwood book, this one would probably be your best bet.

My Rating: 3 / 5

Julie Chan Is Dead by Liann Zhang

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Julie Chan has nothing. Her twin sister has everything. Except a pulse.

Julie Chan, a supermarket cashier with nothing to lose, finds herself thrust into the glamorous yet perilous world of her late twin sister, Chloe VanHuusen, a popular influencer. Separated at a young age, the identical twins were polar opposites and rarely spoke, except for one viral video that Chloe initiated (Finding My Long-Lost Twin And Buying Her A House #EMOTIONAL). When Julie discovers Chloe’s lifeless body under mysterious circumstances, she seizes the chance to live the life she’s always envied.

Transforming into Chloe is easier than expected. Julie effortlessly adopts Chloe’s luxurious influencer life, complete with designer clothes, a meticulous skincare routine, and millions of adoring followers. However, Julie soon realizes that Chloe’s seemingly picture-perfect life was anything but.

Haunted by Chloe’s untimely death and struggling to fit into the privileged influencer circle, Julie faces mounting challenges during a weeklong island retreat with Chloe’s exclusive group of influencer friends. As events spiral out of control, Julie uncovers the sinister forces that may have led to her sister’s demise and realizes she might be the next target.

My Thoughts: A debut novel by a Canadian author, I was very excited to pick this one up. This book is the ultimate reading slump killer — it’s well-written with an incredibly fast-paced story. It was honestly such an addictive read, I couldn’t put it down. The premise was intriguing, and it felt well-executed. The writing was incredible — so good to the point that one scene (the mouse scene, for people who have read it…) actually made me gag and feel genuinely nauseous. I had to pause my reading and sip some water to make the nausea pass, so I could keep reading it. That’s how good it was.

Yes, some characters were a tiny bit flat, but I’ll forgive that for the fact that the story never bored me once.

I would go into more details of what I enjoyed about this book, but I don’t want to completely spoil it. Just trust me, it was such a fun, non-serious, good read.

If you’re looking for a goofy and good dark mystery à la Jennifer’s Body, I highly recommend this one.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Official Synopsis: Joan Goodwin has been obsessed with the stars for as long as she can remember. Thoughtful and reserved, Joan is content with her life as a professor of physics and astronomy at Rice University and as aunt to her precocious niece, Frances. That is, until she comes across an advertisement seeking the first women scientists to join NASA’s space shuttle program. Suddenly, Joan burns to be one of the few people to go to space.

Selected from a pool of thousands of applicants in the summer of 1980, Joan begins training at Houston’s Johnson Space Center, alongside an exceptional group of fellow candidates: Top Gun pilot Hank Redmond and scientist John Griffin, who are kind and easygoing even when the stakes are highest; mission specialist Lydia Danes, who has worked too hard to play nice; warmhearted Donna Fitzgerald, who is navigating her own secrets; and Vanessa Ford, the magnetic and mysterious aeronautical engineer, who can fix any engine and fly any plane.

As the new astronauts become unlikely friends and prepare for their first flights, Joan finds a passion and a love she never imagined. In this new light, Joan begins to question everything she thinks she knows about her place in the observable universe.

Then, in December of 1984, on mission STS-LR9, it all changes in an instant.

My Thoughts: This was my first Taylor Jenkins Reid book, and I am incredibly eager to read more. This book was amazing.

Great, snappy writing and realistic, well-written characters. I loved Joan and Vanessa’s characters as well as their romance. They had all the staples of a good romance — pining, grand romantic love confessions, and reflections on how being in love changes you. I loved reading about their lives individually and together.

Overall, I loved how the “love story” described in the title ended up being more than a romantic story. The book was filled with stories of platonic love, familial love, and romantic love in Joan’s life — and they were all told so beautifully.

While some part in the middle could have been trimmed down (like the scene where they have a looong “do you believe in God” conversation) — this book was a really good read.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

Problematic Summer Romance by Ali Hazelwood

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from my friend Olivia

Official Synopsis: Maya Killgore is twenty-three and still in the process of figuring out her life. Conor Harkness is thirty-eight, and Maya cannot stop thinking about him.

It’s such a cliché, it almost makes her heart implode: older man and younger woman; successful biotech guy and struggling grad student; brother’s best friend and the girl he never even knew existed. As Conor loves to remind her, the power dynamic is too imbalanced. Any relationship between them would be problematic in too many ways to count, and Maya should just get over him. After all, he has made it clear that he wants her gone from his life.

But not everything is as it seems — and clichés sometimes become plot twists.

When Maya’s brother decides to get married in Taormina, she and Conor end up stuck together in a romantic Sicilian villa for over a week. There, on the beautiful Ionian coast, between ancient ruins, delicious foods, and natural caves, Maya realizes that Conor might be hiding something from her. And as the destination wedding begins to erupt out of control, she decides that a summer fling might be just what she needs — even if it’s a problematic one.

My Thoughts: I read this book in like 2 days, Ali Hazelwood really is just romance crack cocaine. How is her writing style so addicting while her plotlines are so bland? I ended this book feeling very meh about it, but somehow I could not put it down while I was reading it?! The Ali Hazelwood effect is crazy.

I do think (perhaps wishful thinking) that Ali Hazelwood’s writing style is beginning to ever so slightly improve. She still has endless cringy millennial humour jokes peppered throughout her writing — there were some lines of dialogue in this one that made me say out loud “no one talks like that!” — but there were also some lines that made me genuinely laugh. So, good for you, Ali Hazelwood.

I admit that this was a banger summer read, it was quick and fluffy and had the best fun Italian vacation vibes. Reading this on a beach would probably be peak. The main romance was also decent — I liked how it started, how their age gap was acknowledged and initially handled, but then it got so repetitive? Why are you suddenly both acting so immature about it, you’re both adults, just talk!

Despite that, I did somewhat enjoy reading this book. I loved the cameos of two other couples from Ali Hazelwood’s other books — I love when authors create their own little universes where all their characters live. On top of that, am I losing my mind or are Ali Hazelwood’s sex scenes getting better? I tip my cap to you, Miss Hazelwood.

My Rating: 2.5 / 5

If you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading my Reading Round-Up. I had a lot of fun writing this, I hope you had fun reading it :)

This has been Kaitlyn’s Reading Round-Up, signing off!

My grandfather also told stories of going out west to the mountains. He wasn't the most outdoorsy guy, he was a business guy and quite a square, down to the physical shape of him. I'm talking as close as a real person can get to Disney's UP levels of square. His story always seemed to center more around Mt. Temple. To be frank, it was probably just something he read about, but the general concept of him having been to Banff and him telling me about Mt Temple, the ideas are connected. Now that I'm writing this I can't imagine him hiking up a mountain, but maybe when he was younger and his ankles weren't quite as swollen he was more adventurous than he was in old age. Either way, he also made me yearn for the mountains. His dinner time stories were the first times I thought of the mountains not as this mythical place in the yonder, but had me looking up how I could realistically go.

My mom also somehow had an experience living in a van in the mountains near Banff. She said they would just drive around and pull over whenever they saw something they wanted to do or needed to sleep or something. You can't do that now, and I don't really have any more information from her spare the extremely obtuse general story, but that means that everyone older than me in my close family I've known for years has been out there. The last is my sister, who with her disability I'd put at unlikely to be on any large or difficult hikes, so I guess that leaves me to go see the mountains.

I seriously considered doing the whole van life thing for a couple of years. Tall Mercedes Sprinter, load it up, Murphy bed, water system, electrical, everything mapped out and costed in my uni days. I just needed the money for that damn van. Then Covid happened, van life became a cool way for people to live vicariously by watching people travel while staying at home, and the price of tall sprinter vans went way up. Family tensions of the time rising also made it harder to balance being the only one in contact with both my dad's and mom's side of the family. That, by extension, would have made it harder to have the van (I live on my mom's side) and make the van (building things was my dad's side). That idea was really cool, but unfortunately was just not to be.

Time skip, couple more years down the line, The Muggies was back for its second annual occurrence with all its glory, gold, and glamour. We had many esteemed guests in from across the planet in an awe-striking event of Jungian synchronicity, coalescing under the vaulted ceilings of a lavish party room for a night like no other. It was a night so monumental that legend wouldn't be able to approach the experience of actually being there. Many memories were made, a couple engaged, and I chatted with a first time guest to The Muggies who, conveniently to the plot line presented so far in this story, happens to live in Calgary.

I know, I know, some readers may be rolling their eyes at plot conveniences like this, but if plot conveniences didn't happen like that, the story wouldn't be told. It's survivourship bias. You couldn't imagine how many sci-fi stories get scrapped part way through the story because the main characters died before the big finale. Could you imagine being the author of a story like that? It would be crushing.

Anyways, this guest, Elena, and I kept in touch, mostly about UFC events as they happened. It took 5 or 6 hints that I wanted to go hiking I think for her to probably start to feel slightly comfortable with the concept of me being around. Eventually we were left with the decision for pre or post wildfire season. We looked at potential schedules of when it could work and how to move around and such, and looking at the calendar, we decided on pre. The week of May 5th was promising for both of us, and while there were some days that weren't ideal, work and such getting in the way, there were enough working days to get us in the mountains twice, then I could explore more of Calgary by my lonely on the last days.

I booked the flights in a rush, then got asked where I was planning on staying. I checked the cost of hotels, and seeing some extremely convenient places in mountains, I checked my bank and asked if there was any extra couch space. The order of operations made this a rather bold and brash moment, but there was indeed a blow up couch, and with that and a rental car, the trip was set. We came up with some loose plans, and from there, the waiting game was on.

I left for Calgary at 6:30 AM. I got to the airport a bit after 4 30 AM and was at the terminal by 4 45. Turns out on domestic flights if all you have is one backpack you can practically just walk through the entire airport with no problems. I listened to some music because the airport wasn't particularly comfy, got on the flight which also wasn't comfy enough to sleep on, then showed up in Calgary at a whopping 8 30 AM with a timezone change. This was one of the aforementioned days where Elena had real life responsibilities, and I picked the early flight because it was cheapest. I got an absolutely banging shawarma that some Torontonians still struggle to comprehend, then started wandering to see what was around town. I was in a sleep deprived zombie state, and in my several hours of wandering just like the intro to Rambo First Blood, I ended up in a coffee shop. I was wiped, and I'd done everything I could think of. My body was telling me it was around the end of the work day, so I checked the time to see I'd made it all the way to almost 1 PM. I wandered back past the house and managed to catch a family member there. I got invited in, and the next thing I remember was waking up when everyone got back home after work.

We had a delicious family dinner on the 4th, we chatted and laughed and it was a fun yet surreal experience. Something that worked out when we were planning the trip was that my dad, probably the person I was copying the most in making this trip, died on May 5th 2023. This event hit my grandpa hard and tanked his cognitive function. My sister has a feeding tube, and my mother eats sporadically on a different schedule from me. I don't exactly have family dinners anymore. With the lack of family dinners in my life and my already, I'll put it as, rambunctious style, I was a little worried about how it might work out. Often times, being around a family in general is a weird enough experience. Luckily I'm over the days of normal families making me bitter, but seeing families just be families is still something I have to actively figure out each time. I am pleased to report that this was a great family dinner. The food was delicious. The family was friendly. I ate until I couldn't anymore, and chatted to my heart's content. I had prepared for the chance of this being a bit of a mental landmine, but I managed to even forget all about those stresses for the time being. Freshly napped but still exhausted, I got a brief introduction to the chainmail making process, then I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, off to the next day.

Off to the mountains! Elena found a gorgeous queen, Adele, who wanted to hike too. We found the bear spray, learned that it expired a decade ago, got new bear spray, and hit the road. The mountains were off in the distance, then they got bigger, then they got bigger, then they were all around us the the point that I couldn't see the peaks while I was driving. There were goats and caribou or something on the side of the road (it was hard to look too closely since I was driving). There were waterfalls around us. There were patterns in the snow peaks that sure may appear in pictures, but they're just so much more to actually see there. I saw the exit for Mt Temple, and let me tell you, that was a big mountain. It was a monolith that just towered above us and I was awe struck. We stopped in town for a coffee and to pick up some IPAs for the hike, and off we went.

We parked, and it was a short walk to Lake Louise. Elena and Adele had both been there and said it was incredible and the colour of the water was just something that had to be experienced. I am still yet to experience it, because as it would turn out, it was still frozen. It's not that it wasn't incredible, we just weren't expecting it to be ice. We walked on the ice a bit and Adele and I got some pictures, then we decided to take a look at the further hikes. There was a tea shop at one of the farther points that was interesting to me as a tea guy, so we set our sights on that. It was a more difficult hike, but I'd trained for this. We walked 10 meters, then confronted with snow and ice on the path, put our crampons on and got moving.

At the start, I was off to the races and the girls were finding their footing. I'd trained a lot for the uphill march on the treadmill as much as I could, but slowly the turns did table. The girls warmed up, and I was once again confronted with one of my greatest enemies: the direction up. We would make good progress but I quickly realized I couldn't eat or drink despite knowing that my body needed it. I started to slowly feel worse and worse, needing more stops. These stops had absolutely stunning views, which helped my case for trying to be cool and not admit that I was stopping because I was physically suffering. I'm a 25 year old guy, I'm supposed to not only be invincible but also be nonchalant about it. My stomach had dropped and couldn't hold anything. My kidney or something in that area started aching, and another internal pain started to make me realize I could hardly walk. I stopped and kind of looked at the girls who were frolicking having the time of their lives, and I was ready to admit that I wasn't going to make it. I shouldn't be Icarus, and I should probably turn back before my body rejects me. They told me we were in sight of the last staircase, which went up beside a beautiful waterfall. I just had to make the last 50 odd meters happen, so I pushed on just a little bit more.

We made it to the top, and the tea shop was boarded up and closed. The lake up there was frozen too, so we sat on the top of a bench that was covered in snow to snack and recover. Elena gave me some grapes, and I could feel each and every one sink into my stomach like it was lead. I made it through half a sandwich baggie and I could feel the acid, but I couldn't bring myself to eat any of the carbs we brought because they looked too dry. We sat and chatted, some strangers chatted too, and slowly but surely, I started to recover. I guess my body found those calories and put them to work on maintaining my vitals. I opened the IPA we bought in town, and as someone who usually hates pictures, we had taken in the view and got to work posing. I think instead of just taking pictures, we got experimental enough that I really found there was a lot of joy to be had here. It really felt like we were putting together some art, and with some inspiration from JoJo's, we really got some great pictures like I've never taken before. I think I would be happy getting several of these framed.

I brought my dad's aviation jacket with me in my bag in case it was cold. The hike was hard enough that I had to take off my sweater that I wore there because despite the snow, I was overheating. I guess a piece of him was with me up there. I'd planned a little something to commemorate him, but in the end, the jacket didn't make it out of the bag, and I think that was the best way. I'll take the inspiration that brought me there, but I think it's fair to say that we made it to the top of the mountain on our own adventure. I don't have much family left, so I don't really get to tell most of the people that inspired me that I got to go up the mountains. It may be a bit melancholy, but on the other side I found it rather freeing. It's just mine. In it's own way, I think that kind of makes this trip the farthest step from home for me, the most notable instance of me just doing things as I want to do them. No need for family to supervise. No need for extensive planning. No need for anything. Just going somewhere and seeing what happens. Kind of like when they take the farthest step away from home in Lord of the Rings. This was the farthest I've been in my own little path I make for myself. I liked it a lot, and I want to do more of it.

One more generation on top of the mountains.

We made it back down the mountain, which was way faster and easier than the way up, and on the return, found ourselves by a lake for the sunset. We skipped stones while the sun slowly went down, then made the drive back home. There were other fantastic adventures I had on this trip too. The Dinosaur Museum, the hoodoos, Drumheller in general, the lookout over the valley, the mountaintop by Banff, the hike with the waterfalls, getting the gay talk, the comfy tree, the market. I had an amazing trip, and would like to thank Elena and her family for hosting me and being so kind. None of this would have been possible without you.

Life could be a dream All my precious plans would come true If you could take me up to paradise up above

Oncle Spenny

Note: I think all of these are incredible albums, and someone else making distinctions on “Spencer only thought everything here was really good instead of everything here is fantastic” is so hair splitting it doesn't make sense. Just enjoy all the great music. Everything in the main list I have listened to front to back multiple times and loved it each time. I keep my numbers just because it's mine. I link songs I think show the albums and their sounds well. Give them a listen, and give the whole album a spin if you like them. There are some seriously good songs in here with some incredible verses even in the extras.

EUSEXUA – FKA Twigs: 7

Dance Music / EDM

Absolutely incredible album. It is raw, and incredibly sexual in a way that isn't just sexy, but to quote one of the songs, is more craving and rabid. It is a truly primal sexual album that gets really intimate with the nightlife and raw experience of being out there in a certain kind of way. The soundscape and album cover complement it well, being a glamorous yet clearly grimy and off-kilter experience. I have listened to FKA Twigs before this, and it was never able to quite suck me in anywhere near as much as this album did. Maybe it's just my current phase of life or maybe it's the absolute quality of the album, but I cannot stop listening to all of these songs.

Drums of Death SOTY

Sticky

From The Private Collections of Saba and No ID – Saba, No ID: 7

Hip Hop / Jazz Rap

This was an album that I really liked on the first listen, having multiple songs stuck in my head. The production is fantastic, the flows are great, and it's another great addition to my love of rapper-producer collab albums. There is plenty of internal reflection, vulnerability, and interesting lyricism here, but it also seems to draw heavily on other rappers specifically. There are moments in the songs where I thought there was a feature, or I recognized flows as a 1-to-1 copy of moments from other great songs. Usually, this might be something I would dislike, but on an album this deliberate, this creative, and this wonderfully crafted. Instead of coming across as stealing flows, it feels like it gives credit to other great songs, and made me feel like it accepted that artists can creatively use other flows. Originally, I gave this a 6, which is an amazing score, but then I heard it at Nana's house with a high-quality surround sound system. This production bounces around you, echoes back and forth, and adds to the intensity so much with how it is able to cut through what I expect, a great song, and give me what is truly a larger listening experience that is so much more than the sum of its parts, which were already fantastic.

Woes Of The World

How To Impress God

Hurry Up Tomorrow – The Weeknd: 6

Synth Pop / RnB

I wasn't expecting to love a Weeknd release like I did this one. It is very long, running an hour and a half, but there aren't really any lowlights to note, which is incredible. The album's consistency is fantastic and the highs are fantastic, and often across the record, he gets incredibly personal beyond what I expect for an artist of this magnitude. The album in my opinion could use a little more sonic diversity over such a runtime, but as he seems to be retiring his performer name, I'm glad to see him go out with a bang as well as an expansive project.

Cry For Me

Take Me Back To LA

Satisfied Soul – Brother Ali, Ant: 6

Jazz Rap / Lyrical Rap

I admit, I might just be a real sucker for this specific style of rapping and production. This album caught me off guard. I saw it in a post, wrote it down, and then came back to it at a later date just because I like rapper-producer collab albums as I find it grants a good vision with a consistent sound opportunity to shine. That happened here. I opened it, noticed it was a guy with albinism, looked it up, saw a white rapper, prepared myself for whatever I would get, and then got blown away. It reminds me quite a lot of Miles by Blu and Exile but is so clearly distinct from it. Nice stories, nice rapping, fantastic and bright production, and a realness to the rapping that really made it connect with me. From start to back I'm engaged and enjoying myself. From what I gather, some of this might have been recorded on his phone too, but that's just a word I saw somewhere. This is the type of album I can really feel on my own time but also not hesitate to play for other people too, which is rare for music I really love. My only complaint is that the first leg of the album, while good, isn't quite as strong as the later songs.

Higher Learning at the Skyway

Mysterious Things

A City Drowned in God's Black Tears – Infinity Knives and Brian Ennals: 6 w/ love

Aggressive Rap / Opera / Anti-Nazi Edgy

This is an insane album. It starts off going all in on anti-Israel bars with an abrasive and aggressive style, moves to a song opening by hoping a piece of shit died a painful death over a heavenly beat, into an opera cut, into more aggressive songs with bars about consent and squirting? This scratches a certain itch in being extremely edgy but also extremely progressive. It has the edge, the anger, the feeling that you shouldn't be saying that, but if I get to the actual bars, it's really just spot on through and through. I know there was the whole “dirtbag left” thing or whatever, but I think it's really nice to get a release of anger or something while listening to some songs that hit on points about things you're also pissed off about. I love the hard cuts. I love the soft cuts, and I have listened to this album a ton. My only negative with this album is that I just don't really care for the last song which is really long. It has no major flaws, just isn't for me, but if you really like that song too more power to you.

BAGGY

Trevoga

GOLLIWOG – Billy Woods: 6

This was a really interesting album. Billy Woods I find does incredibly well when over weirder, more experimental beats, and this album is full of horror-themed beats, which is a style I loved from him before on one of my favourite albums out there, Aethiopes, and he did incredible work again here. Having multiple different producers I thought gave it an interesting experience of getting what felt like different artists takes on what type of dark or scary beat Billy might like, and Billy then collaborating with each one. Billy continues to drop incredibly concise and abstract bars in a way you can only really know if you listen to Billy Woods, but more impressively he does so incredibly well so consistently with such a fast turnaround time. I did find I enjoyed the beats that stuck to the horror more to be more interesting, and as I mentioned Aethiopes before, listening to this album really made me want to listen to that album more, and I think it also hit me at a time where I realized I was listening to way too much Billy Woods overall. That made it an incredible album that I really enjoyed, but couldn't quite get into as much as I would have liked, or maybe as much as the album deserves. I will revisit this album and it's not unlikely that the score might even go up.

STAR187

A Doll Fulla Pins

Viagr Aboys – Viagra Boys: 8

I absolutely love this album. Start to back. Usually, even for albums I love there are songs I might like less or more or something like that, but for this album, every time a song starts I'm like “Of fuck yeah I get to listen to this again” and it's been every listen of nonstop listening. It's concise enough to deliver on concepts and themes, abstract enough to hit a good weirdness feeling, gross enough to scratch that gross punk itch, clean enough to remain super catchy, punchy enough to be hard-hitting, and gentle enough to be emotional when it's right. I feel like I pick up exactly what he's putting down every single time anything happens. Every song is an earworm for me. God it just rocks.

Man Made of Meat

Pyramid of Health

Medicine for Horses

Others

I have listened to 30-odd albums so far and it's been a great year of music listening. Here are some more albums with little blurbs and a demo song. If you like the genre or the song, I really enjoyed all these albums too, so give them a shot!

Life is Beautiful – 2Chains, Larry June, The Alchemist: 5

Luxury Rap

2Chains links up with some of the best Alc production since Alfredo, one of my favourite albums of all time. I think 2Chains moving towards a more luxurious sound instead of trap beats was a great decision, and his charisma really shines.

Munyon Canyon

Dear Psilocybin – Zelooperz Real Bad Man: 5

Hip Hop / Rap

Real Bad Man is back with his slick, low-key, yet still interesting production and once again evolving and taking it to a new level. The beats here are super interesting while retaining the almost empty space they occupy, and someone as eccentric as Zeloopers is an amazing pairing with him for an album. They do work well together, but often Zelooperz comes across as nearly comatose in his delivery, where I think a more exciting performance more akin to his performance on Wildstyle with The Alchemist would have made the project significantly more interesting, even with retaining the same subject matter and lyrics.

Sweet Celine

12 – Westside Gunn: 5

Griselda / Rap

Westside Gunn does his thing with another album that is fun, has great production, hard bars, and is overall solid. While it is great front to back, I do really feel like this doesn't differentiate itself from his last album very much at all, and is very soon after. Listening to it, I really did feel like I had just listened to something very much like it, but this one has a far less compelling cover.

Adam Page

Infinity – Smif'N'Wessun: 5

Oldhead Rap

If you're an old head this is the album for you, and I really liked it a lot on first listen. It's good old-school rapping with solid beats that feel old-school while still feeling fresh and having modern mastering. It's safe to say that these guys have still got it and in a big way. I've been saying for a while now that the older guys have a honed craft and a little more wisdom that makes their music so good, and I like that a lot. I think there could have been more interesting longer-form storytelling, but we take good music when it's given to us. Oldheads, check this out.

Moses Promise

Timbo Progression – Timbaland: 6 (EP)

Afrobeats / Hip hop

This album sounds pretty great, though is pretty samey. Timbaland being an advocate for AI makes me wonder if some of this sameyness is the fact that it is AI. Still sounds great. It is short and I did very much enjoy the listening experience, so I will rate it fairly well. I will note that I will rate it as an EP, which means I don't expect the full-scale project scope that I would of an album. It's a fun little piece with some very digestible Afro beats.

Kent's Bounce Pt 1

Black Samson The Bastard Swordsman – Wu-Tang Clan and Mathematics: 5

WuTang / Oldhead Rap

This was a really good WuTang album that I think is probably everything a fan would hope for. The beats were clean and fun, and the rapping was really good. I think having Mathematics come in on production made it have a much more modern sound which really helped the group as a whole achieve a better project. Some may have issues with AI used in transitions, and others may have issues with a bunch of reused verses, but I'll say that this is a much greater album that had my enjoyment slightly hampered by some external factors. If you're going in fresh and just want to hear some really great songs from some certified unc rappers, you're in for a treat.

Mandingo

Conversational Pieces – Boldy James: 5

Griselda / Detroit Rap

Boldy has been dropping so insanely often and while it hasn't been bad, it hasn't been near great either. This is a return to form for him, and I think really highlights the issue he has where he needs to pick some more interesting beats if he wants to make a good project. His rapping is consistently pretty damn great, but the use of an interesting beat makes this album just so refreshing. Some of the songs here are absolutely astoundingly good.

Come Back Around

Conversational Pieces

Potluck – Bruiser Wolf: 5

Oldhead Rap / Punchline Rap

Bruiser Wolf managed to step up his game with this one, and I was already a big fan of his last. Still incredibly charismatic and funny, still in his own lane making some of the most fun rap I get to listen to. While his previous album had maybe some more personal cuts, he comes through with an incredibly consistent album full of incredible production and songs littered front to back with fun punchlines. Even the cover just manages to perfectly fit his style, and hopefully, I get to see him live again with this one.

Say No More

Whippin

Worst Song of the year:

Never Again by Mario Judah

This article is an incredibly long argument for why I find the NFL relatively boring and the CFL incredibly exciting, even though NFL players are objectively better athletes. The article mainly focuses on the rules differences and cultural context of the two games. If you are an American, just know that I love you and this article is not an attack on you, it's an attack on a version of football that I do not like.

The first two sections explain the historical context of football and the rules of football. If you already know the rules of both types of football, skip section 2. If you know the rules of one type of football but not the other, you should read section 2. If you don't know anything about football, I've provided a glossary section at the end of the article that explains in detail what the terms mean. If you don't find sports interesting but want to know why I love Canadian football for meta-game reasons, skip sections 2 and 3. If you like sports but hate football, you are an insufferable contrarian. Read the entire article in penance.

1. Historical primer

In 1861, 13 years before the first snap was played on American soil, two groups of students at UofT gathered in a common area on school grounds with the goal of playing a game inspired by accounts of the full-contact “Rugby football” game played at the Rugby Public School. At the time, “Rugby football” (not to be confused with the technically younger than Canadian football “Association football”, codified by the Laws of the Game two years later in 1863) was a game played at English boarding schools without a strict rules code and was yet to develop into the modern Rugby Union format, an entirely different sport that I also enjoy watching. Those Canadian students didn't know it yet, but their strange broken-telephone interpretation of a game for wealthy British children would serve as the foundation of the single most profitable professional sports league on planet Earth.

Over the next few years, as Americans shot each other over slavery , the first inter-collegiate football rivalry was established between Toronto's “Varsity Blues” and McGill's “Redmen.” In 1874, an exhibition game between McGill and Harvard using Canada's version of Rugby football was played to a riveting 0-0 finish after 3 quarters (you'd think McGill and Harvard students would know how to count to 4!) This was the first time that football as it currently exists was played in the United States, and was an instant success despite the appalling score.

From Harvard, McGill, and UofT, football spread across Canada and the United States. Initially a collegiate game, it did not take long for the first pro team, the Ottawa Football Club(still a member of the CFL), to be established in Canada's capital in September of 1876. In 1892, the first American pro team, the Alleghany Football Club (now defunct) was established. American and Canadians played the same game until 1906, when the Americans added an objectively positive innovation to increase scoring: the forward pass. To the NFL's credit, this is a great change. In 1912, the games permanently diverged after a series of further changes designed to increase scoring were added by the American side.

All of this is to say that football is a Canadian sport. The American game is in fact a bastardization of our perfect game of football! In this article I will argue that the rules of Canadian Football make for a more enjoyable viewing experience than the American rules, which seem perfectly tailored to bore both players and spectators alike.

2. The rules of the Canadian and American games

At their core, American and Canadian football are more similar to each other than either is to their closest taxonomic relatives, Rugby league and Rugby union. In both footballs, the objective is to out-score the other team. Scoring is done in the following ways:

• A touchdown for 6 points
  • After a touchdown, the scoring team sets up 25 yards from the uprights and attempts to score a field goal, giving an additional 1 point.
  • Alternatively after a touchdown, the scoring team may choose to set up on the 5 yard line and attempt to score a second touchdown for 2 points.
• A field goal for 3 points
• A safety for 1 or 2 points.

Football differs from Rugby primarily through the downs system. Teams are divided into attackers and defenders. Each play, the attacking team sets up on the current line of scrimmage, and attempts to advance the ball. The attackers must achieve a gain of at least 10 yards in 3 downs (Canada) or 4 downs (USA). If they succeed, the down count is reset to 1 and they remain on attack during the next play. If they fail, they hand the ball to the current defenders and the role of attacking team and defending team swaps.

During each play, the following options are available:

• The attacking team may throw the ball forward one time.
• They may throw the ball backward as many times as they wish.
• They may hand-off the ball to another player as many times as they like.
• They may surrender control of the ball by kicking it down the field. If they are not attempting to score a field goal, this play is called a punt.

When a touchdown is scored, the scoring team becomes the defenders (if they weren't already) and the scored-on team becomes the attackers (ditto).

The American and Canadian games share all of the above features, but differ in the following ways. Changes made by the Americans in 1912 are marked in bold:

• In the Canadian game, the attacker has 3 downs to gain 10 yards. In the American game, they have 4 downs to gain 10 yards.
• The Canadian field is 110 yards by 60 yards, for a total play surface of 7150 square yards. The American field is 100 yards by 53.333 yards, for a total play surface of 5333.333 square yards. Canadian endzones are also twice as long at 20 yards to America's 10. Diagrams of the fields side by side are given below:
• Canadian teams may have 12 players on the field at one time, American teams may have 11.
• Canadian teams may kick as many times as they want in a play from anywhere on the field, although only the first kick can score a field goal. American teams are allowed 1 kick per play and must kick from behind the line of scrimmage. The defenders may never kick the ball intentionally in American football, but defenders can (and do!) punt the ball back in Canadian football to avoid a Rouge.
• Canadian teams may score a single point by kicking the ball through or in to the other team's end-zone. See Rouge in the glossary.
• Canadian punt-returners – the players responsible for catching and fielding a punt – must be given a 5 yard halo until the ball lands. Violating this halo causes a foul (see flag). This is because either team can recover a punt in Canadian football! In American football, this requirement does not exist because a punting team may not recover the ball on the same play except via fumble recovery.
  • In order for the attackers to recover their own punt, a play referred to as the onside punt or trick punt, the ball must be kicked from behind the line of scrimmage and recovered by a player who was standing behind the kicker when the ball was kicked. This play is not allowed in American football. In the event an onside punt is successfully recovered, the down count is reset even if less than 10 yards have been gained.
• A defending team receiving a punt in Canadian football is entitled to one forward pass during the play. This was recently outlawed in American Football.
• American football players may avoid returning a punt or kickoff by waving for a fair catch or kneeling in their own endzone for a touchback. This is not allowed in Canadian football, as all kicks must be fielded.
• In Canadian football, the attacking team must return to the line of scrimmage and start the next play within 20 seconds of the previous play being blown dead. In American football, the attacking team has 45 seconds to start the next play.
• The clock is paused between plays in Canadian football in the last 3 minutes of each half, while in American football timer constantly runs regardless of current game clock.
• In American football, the waggle is banned, while in Canada it is allowed.

3. Why do I like the Canadian rules more?

The changes made to the American rules in 1912 were intended to make the game more offensively focused and therefore more interesting. There is a saying in football strategy: “Offense sells tickets. Defense wins championships.” The point of this proverb is that the fans love Quarterbacks and Wide Receivers much more than they like Defensive Backs and Linebackers. Offensive plays are cooler and more exciting than defensive plays. The goal of a football team is to sell tickets and the goal of a football fan is to have fun watching football, so increasing the game's average offensive output is an admirable goal. Unfortunately, the changes made by the American rules have had the opposite of the intended effect.

On average, a pro football game in Canada sees 50.3 points scored, 528.6 passing yards thrown, and 199.9 rushing yards for a total average of 728.5 yards of gross offense. In an NFL game, the average points scored is a measly 46.0, passing yards is held to a mere 437.0, but rushing yards are much higher at 243.2 for an average gross offense of 680.2. (Stats as of 2023)

But why? NFL defenders (who almost universally have never watched a CFL game) will tell you that the CFL is a punt fest! 3 downs is not enough to advance the football! WRONG. 3 downs is the perfect amount and 4 downs slows the game down significantly. Consider the following basic math: a CFL offense must gain an average of 5 yards per play (as they usually punt on 3rd down). An NFL offense must gain an average of 3.334 yards per play before punting. Combine that with the following statistics: the average number of yards gained by a rush play is 4 and the average number of yards gained by a successful pass is 8. Do you see where this leads? With 4 downs, NFL teams are able to run chunk play books with short yard gains every play and barely any passing, because they can expect to advance 12 yards in the 3 safe downs they have before the 4th down punt. Meanwhile, CFL teams are forced to throw electrifying long bombs on every possession!

The gasping desperate NFL fan when presented with these basic facts tries one last gambit: kicking is boring and the CFL has too much kicking! Sure, there are twice as many punts in a CFL game on average (18 vs 8), but first of all, it's called FOOTball so there should be lots of kicking and second of all kicking would not be boring if the 1912 rule changes hadn't made it boring. Canadian kicking is wild and entertaining. The onside punt – a banned play south of the border – makes any punt attempt potentially as exhilarating as an onside kick attempt. Onside kicks and punts in Canadian football are allowed to be trick plays while the onside kick – the only interesting kicking play allowed in the NFL – has been neutered with the latest rule changes made by the No Fun League. Furthermore, the much maligned Rouge leads to Rugby Union style back and forth kicks that are always a treat to see. To make matters worse, the NFL seems determined to make the American kicking game even more boring. Over the years, they have banned seemingly every fun outcome of kicking. Punt returners are no longer allowed to forward pass, punts must occur behind the line of scrimmage, only one kick is allowed per play, kicks don't even need to be returned (see touchback and fair catch), and so on and so on. At some point, why not just get rid of kicks entirely and rename the American game “Handball?”

The worst American innovation of all has been the 45 second play clock and lack of clock pause at the end of the half. This creates two perverse incentives. American players use the full 45 second down time, eating up clock and leading to less average “real” play time per game. The lack of pause between plays in the last 3 minutes of the half mean that if the team ahead in points gains possession of the ball with less than 2 minutes remaining, they are able to simply delay the game until the clock runs out. The NFL averages as little as 11 minutes of live-ball time over a full 60 minute game! Meanwhile in the CFL, once play is blown dead the players have a mere 20 seconds to rush back to the line and set up the next play. On top of that, in the last 3 minutes of each half, the clock is paused when the ball is blown dead, which has completely eliminated stalling from the Canadian game and allowed incredible comebacks on a regular basis. These two factors lead to more live-play in the CFL.

4. It just means more.

There are reasons beyond the objective as to why I love Canadian Football more than American Football. When put together that reason can be summed up with the word SOVL. Before you continue reading, please watch the following video: CFL | This Is Our League

Why do I love the CFL? Because I live in Canada. I like the Buffalo Bills, but I will never go to a Bills game without shelling out hundreds of American dollars. For $40 last August, I had field side tickets in a packed TD Place cheering on the Ottawa REDBLACKS (and yes, the team's name is officially all-caps). I watched Damon Webb return an 85 yard pick 6 and I saw our rival Argos get dumpstered live. The CFL teams represent my home in a way no NFL team ever can.

Advertising in NFL games is also unbearably atrocious. The average NFL game and American NCAA game has more than 3 hours of advertising! Meanwhile, the CFL offers a free ad-free streaming service called CFL+ available for all fans outside of the TSN coverage area (and easily accessibly be VPN which they don't bother blocking). The CFL wants you to watch football. The NFL wants you to watch Subway commercials.

The strongest argument for the NFL is the athleticism of the players. What honest football fan doesn't love Josh Allen's rushing attack, the Minneapolis Miracle, or Saquon Barkley's backwards hurdle? The NFL has these players because there is more money in the NFL than the CFL. There is more money in the NFL because most Canadians don't care about football while most Americans do – plus there's 10 times as many of them as there are of us. Even if every Torontonian was a double-blue diehard, we couldn't possibly afford a player like Tom Brady. The yet-to-be-born GOAT football player will never play in the CFL.

But that doesn't matter. The Americans who play in the CFL for our entertainment love football so much they're willing to move to another country, learn a different (but better!) set of rules, and potentially get life-altering brain damage for the chance to suit up in a pro game. The Canadians who play in the CFL instead of the NFL (and there are some who choose that, see Nathan Rourke) play here because this country is their home. The CFL has an incredibly passionate fan-base, but to the players the CFL is the league that gave them a chance at greatness, a chance to play for their home team, and a chance to play football as it was meant to be played.

Also fuck soccer.

Glossary

• Interception: if the defending team catches a pass thrown by the attacking Quarterback, the defending team gains possession and immediately becomes the attacking team.
• Fair catch: in order to avoid being tackled by an incoming player from the kicking team, a receiver may wave to signal that play should be blown dead as soon as the ball is caught or hits the ground. This rule only exists in American football. In Canadian football, the ball must always be fielded unless penalty occurs during the kickoff.
• Field goal: a method of scoring worth 3 points where the attacking team successfully kicks the ball through the other team's uprights.
• Flag: a yellow cloth carried by football referees on their belts. Detached and thrown when the referee spots foul play.^1
• Fumble: if a player carrying the ball loses possession of the ball for any reason (drops it or has it knocked out of his hands), either team may pick up the ball and take possession of it.
• Line of Scrimmage: the line of scrimmage is the most forward crossing line on the field reached by a ball carrier on the attacking side during this drive. When play is blown dead, it resumes from this line.
• Pick-6: A “pick-6” is the unofficial term for an interception by the defending team that is carried all the way back to the attacking team's endzone, scoring a touchdown for the defenders.
• Rouge: if the ball is kicked in to or through the other team's end zone by the kicking team without the receiving team advancing it out of their endzone, the kicking team receives one point. This may happen any time, and the receiving team is allowed to avoid it by punting the ball back to the original kicking team. This rules only exists in Canadian football, having been removed from the American game in 1912.
• Rushing: rushing attack refers to a method of gaining yards that does not involve forward passing. Teams specializing in rushing attack prioritize breaking through the other team's line in order to allow a player called a Running Back to carry the ball the required 10 yards.
• Safety: a safety is a rare way of scoring points in both games. If a player on a team is tackled in their own endzone while holding the ball, the defending team receives 2 points. Alternatively, if a two point conversion is attempted and an interception or fumble occurs, the defending team may pick up the ball and attempt to score a touchdown. If the defenders manage to do this, they score a “1 point safety.” There has never been a successful 1 point safety in the history of pro football, although it has occurred at the collegiate level.
• Touchdown: a method of scoring worth 6 points where either team carries the ball across the line separating the play field from the other team's endzone without going out of bounds.^2
• Touchback: if the ball is kicked into the other team's endzone, the receiving team may recover the ball and kneel out the play. This rule only exists in American football. If a CFL player tries to do this, they concede a Rouge.
• Uprights: the poles in the centre of the endzone of a football field.
• Waggle: the waggle refers to the charge towards the line of scrimmage made by wide receivers and running backs in Canadian football. The waggle allows attacking players to build up speed before play begins. The waggle is banned in American football.

Footnotes 1: French Canadians call this a mouchoir. Alouettes and REDBLACKS fans will often shout “Mouchoir!” when a flag is thrown in reference to this, whether they are French or English fans. 2: French Canadians often refer to touchdowns as majeurs. As a result, some English fans refer to touchdowns as major scores in reference to this.

In a previous book report, July Readings (2024), I had mentioned that the discussion on Aldous Huxley's essay Brave New World Revisited was to come out in a standalone article. This is it. For those unaware, Brave New World is a dystopian novel that came out in 1932, and while at the time not pretending to be prophetic, its author — Aldous Huxley — wrote an essay in 1958 taking a look back on the thirty years since its publication. The gist of his essay is that the world is sliding down dystopia way faster than he had anticipated, and he was right about a lot of things. I never jot down notes or do any highlighting/bookmarking when reading a book, but some of the things said in this essay were so outlandish that I couldn't refrain myself. I knew that I would want to share my findings with the good people of the printhouse. This however is not a proper rigorous critique; I'll just go through what I wrote down, whether it be quotes, paraphrases, and comment on it, and inserting my own biases. This was also reworked after my presentation at Theory Night earlier this year, I thank all who attended for their valuable questions and remarks which have helped reshape this garbage.

Do not let this man cook

We'll first look at the statements that may have not aged well, were straight-up wrong from the get-go, or were fucking insane:

“Overpopulation is the greatest threat humanity will have to face in the coming centuries”

This doesn't come out of nowhere, but it is funny to see how off the mark it is. Especially since recently some people have started to talk about how much of an issue population decline/aging is becoming. To be fair, he wasn't the only one to think that overpopulation was gonna become a problem. The reasoning sounded almost sound at the time if you oversimplified the problem and made (wrong) assumptions; we have limited resources on the planet, and more and more people living on it could put a strain on those resources. To add to that, not only are people having more and more children, but advances in technology make it so they all just don't die after a year or so. Likewise, having the shits will not bring anyone to an early grave anymore, reducing the rate at which population declines. But the reality is that overpopulation is a myth that was debunked even before he wrote this, as the planet can easily host many more billions of us since production increase is not linear — as long as we pull the reins on our crazy overconsumption. Furthermore, many countries have experienced a dramatic fall in their birth rates, and many world population models — however accurate they may be — are predicting a significant reduction in population growth rate, with the median in projection having a plateau between 10 and 11 billion humans worldwide. This brings us to our second point:

“Countries that will become overpopulated will turn toward communism”

The direct quote from the book is “It is a pretty safe bet that, 20 years from now [so in 1978], all the world's overpopulated and underdeveloped countries will be under some form of totalitarian rule — probably by the communist party “(Chp I, p.13) Does this come out of nowhere? Kinda. Here ol'boy Huxley is still convinced that overpopulation is the main issue that we will face, and that the strain on resources will bring about great economic hardship. This will lead governments of the countries most affected to step in more and more into the economy and impede more and more on the individual freedom of its citizen (for instance with rationing). All of this, Huxley says, will also create civil unrest whether simple political unrest of full on open rebellion. The government of those countries will then have to step in to secure their authority, and thus will concentrate more and more power in the hands of a few. Basically the government of overpopulated countries will have to become centralised and authoritative. Now I heard you wondering — where does communism come into play? Well for the ol'boy, a central authoritative government is Communism! Forget all your political theories and talks about fake concepts like “class”, “labour” and “capital”; communism is just when a government is central and is authoritarian/totalitarian!

“With advances in medicine, the ill will get to reproduce, and that's bad” & “With technological advances, stupid people will get the chance to reproduce, and that's bad”

Basically, Aldous (we're on a first name basis) argues that the general population will get sicker, and more stupid as times goes on, because some people that would otherwise have died by natural causes or by the result of their own stupidity will get to reproduce. This whole chapter was very yucky to read and oozes of eugenics. He talks about children born with any hereditary genetic “defects” as being separate from humankind. He says that the way we go about breeding is “contaminating the genetic pool”. I will just quote a sentence to give you an idea of how bad this is: “And what about the congenitally deficient organisms whom our medicine and social services now preserve so that they may propagate their kind”(Chp II, p.21). At the end of the chapter, he says that for humanity to survive, we will need to find a middle ground between full-blown eugenics, and an ethical solution to this “issue”. Getting back to the issue at hand, Aldous is wrong. We can manage most hereditary disease/“defect” much better than in the olden days, so there is no danger for the human race as a whole. As for intelligence, since we have been recording populations general IQ scores, they overall have been steadily rising. In fact, every time we change the IQ test, we normalise the results to have the average at 100 and a standard deviation of 15-16 IQ points. Populations taking older IQ tests do score on average above 100. _{that is until recently but the decline is thought to be environmentally caused, i.e. not to be hereditary, so he's still wrong.}

“Saving people from malaria was bad, actually”

A combination of the two above arguments, overpopulation bad, so saving people from mass-killing disease is ultimately bad. This kinda comes out of nowhere. In his eugenics chapter, he is basically just taking an example of what looks good but is actually bad because it worsens the “issue” of overpopulation. He says that the populations affected by malaria cannot adequately clothe, educate and feed themselves, and if you read between the lines, that a quick death by malaria would have been more merciful. Needless to say that a 100 Hitlers are saying: “WE AGREE”.

“Society will tend to move towards uniformity and de-individualisation”

This is a very weird and confusing arguments that is spread over 10 pages and makes very little sense. He basically says that because government try to organise themselves, and tend to over-organise, this will lead them to seek to organise humans too, and use social engineers to this end, and in the 21st century to start using “World controller” (Just like in Brave New World). His whole rant also encompasses apples, Newton, packs of elephants, medieval guilds, religion, termites, 1984, Brave New World, Jesus, Mao, Mussolini... My man is all over the place and jumps from one topic from another without making much sense. He doesn't really define uniformity and de-individualisation, but he has this sentence of what he thinks society will slide toward: “This ideal man is the man who displays 'dynamic conformity' (delicious phrase!) and an intense loyalty to the group, an unflagging desire to subordinate himself, to belong.” (Chp 3, p.33) This is so wrong it's not even funny. In more than one way, we are still far from uniformity in society. One thing that I think has made the need to blend in and conform almost irrelevant is the internet. It is now easier than ever to find some weirdoes online that have the same interests as you. You don't have to conform to a very specific set of rules for your whole life anymore, out of fear of being ostracised by the town. Don't get me wrong, there are still institutions such as school, work... where you do have to conform to certain social norms, and there are also social norms to adhere to when interacting with others, but that was true (and maybe even truer) during Aldous' time. With this I'm trying to say there is less uniformity in the way we can be and the way we interact with others nowadays than before and we have to conform less. As far as the comment on “the group” most will recognise that there is less and less emphasis nowadays on the community and more on the individual, as large communities or group have for the most part been completely atomised. To take one example, unless you have grown up in your current neighbourhood, I would wager that you barely know your neighbours and do not willingly interact with them on a daily basis. Nor would you recognise yourself as part of the group labelled “neighbourhood” and have an “unflagging desire [...] to belong” to that group. We less and less think of ourselves as parts of groups, and more as individuals, and we value our individuality dearly. We therefore do not really care about conforming to those group/communities or desire to subordinate ourselves either. Therefore, I think Aldous' claim that we are moving towards uniformity and de-individualisation is wrong. I won't stay on this topic too long, because I would actually have to do some thinking to go below surface-level, and we also have other arguments to go through. (also I'm lazy)

“Tranquilisers are great and their benefits far outweigh their side effects”

Aldous here is eager to find a parallel between soma (the drug in Brave New World that everybody takes and is akin to a tranquilizer) and what's happening in the real world, because he is a visionary and everything that he wrote about will come true. So he makes the point that as a society we are also moving towards using tranquilizers willy-nilly. But it's fine he says, because many new compounds are without major side effects, and just like soma, we will be able to take them without complications. He gives a list of the “promising compounds”. I googled each and every one of them and the first sentence on wikipedia was usually something like “Diamosophoseraprophrol was taken off the market in 1961 because additional research showed it had no beneficial effects beyond placebo and caused AIDS on top of ass cancer and impotence (even in women)” Another L for Aldous.

“Inception is real and subliminal messages can work”

Do I even need to comment on that? Seriously, proof that they work, and certainly by 'they' I do mean inception and subliminal messages₉ is |itera11y non-existent.

Wait, actually maybe let's let him cook a little...

There aren't just some laughably bad takes in here, and my man Aldous sometime has something interesting things to say:

“Advances in technology lead to Big Business...”

The crux of the argument is this: advances in technology allow us to have more and more complex machinery to produce such and such product or service. Those advances also allow us to expand a business' operating range. Since the new complex machinery is more expensive, and we can service more people far away from us, this will lead to centralisation. It is cheaper to have one big company servicing let's say the whole province or even multiple provinces, rather than multiple companies doing it. That big company also doesn't want any competition, since mass production requires mass distribution, therefore they do anything in their power to shut down the little companies. Couple that with the fact that the technologically advanced machinery is out of reach of those littles companies, due to cost, maintenance, availability, skilled operator availability... and they cannot compete with the big guys. Therefore, Big Business. The reasoning is sound, with Aldous detailing the process that he sees happening in his time, and that will continue to happen — and maybe worsen — according to him. And even if technological advances also bring about democratisation, which Aldous did not foresee, a smaller company being eaten by the Goliath of the industry is anything but an unfamiliar story nowadays. I will count this as a W for Aldous... but I will immediately temper it because of the below: Does Aldous think this is bad? Yes, as he hates centralisation and thinks that, as usual, the solution to anything is the middle ground, this middle ground being in between absolute laissez-faire — which allows the Big Businesses to gobble up everything — and total control — which he doesn't explain entails.

“There is a problem with media ownership”

Here Aldous employs the same reasoning as with the industry and technological advances; that all the small time papers have been gobbled up by the big boys. Similarly, mass communication requires mass distribution, meaning that the few opinions of the big boy journals will be read by the masses. This power would be attracting the Power Elite. The Power Elite is, in a capitalist society, the owners of the Big Businesses. This Power Elite will strive to be the owner of the journals, and use them to their own ends “influencing the though, feelings and actions of virtually everybody”(Chp III, p.27). He says that Big Media is neither good or bad, but a tool. And he think this tool is not being used to its true purpose, which is to inform, by its owner. Most big news papers/agencies are still owned by billionaires or massive corporations (themselves often owned by billionaires), so it is sad to see that the world has not improved in this regard. Just look at the way the recent talk on the change of the Capital gain tax in Canada [can you tell I started writing this a year ago 🙃] were handled, and you will have a prime example of the news working to disinform the public and work against their interest, but to the benefit of the richest. Couple that with the fact that a sizable amount of people nowadays read the news as a mean of distraction, and entertainment, and not truly to be informed, and you basically get the argument that Aldous was trying to make. Well, not totally, I think Aldous falls short in his analysis. His thesis about the media in the West boils down to: “The Power Elite owns the media, and they don't use it to inform. They are not concerned about saying true or false things, but about distracting the people, and drowning them in a sea of irrelevance to sell the most papers as possible”. To Aldous, information is capital to the wellbeing of a democracy, and the media is not concerned about that anymore which is an issue. I agree, and that's why we're in the “maybe he was cooking section”. Where I think it falls short is that — as far as I understood it — he thinks there is no nefarious goal by the owners of the media to undermine information and democracy, they are just giving the people what they want, distractions, to get their bag. On the contrary, I believe that there is a conscious effort by the media owners — those billionaires, and gargantuan companies — to use the media as a tool of propaganda to further their own goals and protect their interests. This also includes making sure the working class is not actively looking out for what's in their best interest. Funnily enough, I would almost say the owners of the media use it the way Aldous describe dictators using it: “In their propaganda today's dictators rely for the most part on repetition, suppression and rationalization – the repetition of catchwords which they wish to be accepted as true, the suppression of facts which they wish to be ignored, the arousal and rationalization of passions which may be used in the interests of the Party or the State.“(Chp III, p.48). Could we be living in a dictatorship of the capital?

Maybe I've played too much Disco Elysium and I need to touch grass, but what I'm trying to say is: “The mass media is basically used as a propaganda tool to defend the interests of the capital owners, and to actively prevent the working class from organising themselves and working towards their own betterment.”

“The new order of things leads to decreasing mental health”

This one is mostly quotes from Dr. Fromm, a philosopher and sociologist of the time (not a nazi or zionist, I checked), and is even more relevant today than it was 70 years ago.

“Our contemporary Western society [...] is increasingly less conductive to mental health and tends to undermine the inner security happiness, reason and the capacity for love in the individuals; it tends to reduce [them] into an automaton who pays for his human failure with increasing mental sickness, and with despair hidden under a frantic drive for work and so-called pleasure.”(Chp III, p.27)

He also says that, paraphrasing: these mental symptoms are not our enemy, but the best indication we have that the way things are running right now our incompatible with mental health and our overall happiness. Aldous uses it to push for his argumentation, which is less relevant and not that interesting to me, but I wanted to share the writing from Dr. Fromm. Entering the workforce, especially as another cog in the corporate machine, I did feel my mental health declining, my happiness too, and saw myself increasingly yearning for distractions. It is only in taking a step back from work, bettering my work-life balance, and climbing out of the productivity trap that I saw an improvement. Serene and contemplative life is not easily conciliable with our current capitalist system, but it is without a doubt healthier.

“Given a fair chance, people will choose to govern themselves and will govern themselves better than they can be governed by entities independent of their will.”

Basically here Huxley's saying that people, given a fair chance, will choose to have democracy, and that democracy is better (albeit maybe not optimally more efficient) than any form of dictatorship. His reasoning? It's human nature. His quote is: “In spite of the Id and the Unconscious, in spite of endemic neurosis and the prevalence of low IQ's, most men and women are probably decent enough and sensible enough to be trusted with the direction of their own destinies.”(Chp IV, p.41) Of course, there is the caveat of the fair chance. It is not defined supremely well (or well at all) by Huxley, but basically the fair chance is achieved when there have been good historical and technological condition, when society is stable, when the average individual has decent economic conditions and access to information, and when there are good demographic condition. Aldous defines none of them, and I don't really want to know what he means by “good historical and demographic” condition, but I can imagine. In any case, I think he's directionally right, so that's why it's in this section. Call me naïve, but I think humans are generally ok, when they're not struggling and are generally secure socially and financially. I had a ~1000 word bit about this in my previous draft, but I think the above sentence summarises my views pretty well. I also think that — hot take — people self-governing using democracy or the likes (for instance with the café's much beloved sortition) is better than its opposite.

Unfortunately, for Aldous democracy == (British) Liberalism so he's only partially right. And by “good historical and demographic” conditions, I have the feeling he might be doing a racism with a zest of eugenics. He also says that the fair chance is being taken away from us little by little, first because he's still raving about overpopulation, but also because he says we're loosing access to good info (see his point about the media above). I've elected to only include his first bit of reasoning for this because I was lacking things to put in the “he's cooking a bit” category.

Conclusion

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defence of a eugenics apologist. The world is often unkind to eugenics apologists. The eugenics apologist needs friends. Last year, I experienced something new: an half-burnt meal from a singularly unexpected source (a eugenics apologist). To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is wrong. Neither have they rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, “Anyone can cook.” But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is easy to imagine more humble origins than those of the eugenics apologists now cooking at Huxley's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing more than a eugenics apologists that wrote a famous book. I will never be returning to Huxley's, hungry for more.

It's a nice exercise to really dive into a book, and dissect it rather than consuming it blindly. It's something that I will try to do more often and not just for books. Interfacing with works on a deeper level rocks. Brave New World Revisited was an excuse for Aldous to comment on the world at the time, and he piggybacked off the success of his novel to reach a wider audience. I think the parts where he equates things from Brave New World to some facets of his contemporary world are the weakest part of the essay, and also makes it more confusing. I think you have gotten the chance to get a feel for what Aldous Huxley was putting down anyways — even if you haven't read Brave New World. While he is very wrong in his assessment of scientific subjects, medicine, sociology, politics, economics... he is sometimes, although rarely, spitting a bit. But he is mostly wrong, probably at least semi-racist, a red-scared capitalist lapdog and a eugenics apologist. So L+ratio+kill yourself.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea, Eddie – Award winning author

This month I read 3 ebooks and 1 physical book from the Toronto Public Library, totalling to 4 books (my worst month to date). My average star rating for the month was 2.88. My running total of books read in 2025 is 11, so I am 11% of the way to my goal of reading 100 books in 2025.

Dandelion by Jaime Chai Lun Yiew

Synopsis: When Lily was 11-years-old, growing up in the British Columbia interior in 1987, her mother Swee Hua left one day and never returned. Swee Hua was miserable living in a white-majority mining town, and longed to return to Brunei. But everyone was shocked when she never wrote, never visited, never contacted her husband or her daughters. 30 years later, pregnant with her first child, Lily cannot stop thinking about her mother. Determined to figure it out, once and for all, she visits her family in Brunei. But will she like the truth that she finds out?

My thoughts: This is probably one of the only pure-fiction books that I’ve ever read that felt like a biography. Partially because I’ve been reading a couple of biographies (girl who’s only ever read biographies thinks that everything is a biography). But mostly because of the writing style of the book. It just felt so much like the author was recounting things that happened to her in her childhood, and then alternating with her perspective in the present. Also, because the plot didn’t feel like it was structured in a traditional way; it didn’t feel like there was a rising action, a third act conflict, etc etc. Usually you’d only find this when you’re reading a true story, because readers will know that real life doesn’t often follow the classic structure of a novel. This is one of the Canada Reads picks for 2025, and it’s definitely outside of my normal reading, so I’m glad to have been pushed outside of my normal taste in books, especially with the discussion of stateless people. The main character’s father was born in Brunei of Chinese descent, and was stateless, while her mother claimed to have had Malaysian citizenship. Growing up in a jus soli/birthright citizenship country, it feels so foreign to read about people who just don’t have citizenship to any country, despite being born in one, and to read about the helplessness and insecurity that they had to deal with.

Rating: 2.5/5 community meals at your local community chinese restaurant.

Title Score: C (dandelions were symbolically present at the very beginning and end of the book, but it did seem forced)

Watch Out For Her by Samantha M. Bailey

Synopsis: Sarah Goldman is determined to make a fresh start in Toronto with her family. She doesn’t want to think about Holly Monroe. Ostensibly, Holly was hired to babysit her son Jacob over the summer, but she quickly wormed her way into the Goldman’s lives. She moved in with them, started giving Sarah advice, and even getting to know Sarah’s husband, Daniel. But Holly went too far too fast, and Sarah jumped at the chance to move to Toronto for Daniel’s new job. Now she’s stuck in a new city with no family or friends, in a creepy old house with hidden cameras and a suspicious neighbourhood watch. But Sarah has no need to worry; according to the creepy texts from the unknown number, she’s never truly alone.

My thoughts: I’m always a little surprised when a genre fiction book is chosen for Canada Reads, and I was especially surprised by this one because it just wasn’t very good. I suppose it was interesting to read from Sarah’s perspective and experience the dramatic irony of a rational person reading her completely paranoid thoughts. It also was pretty weird for Holly to have some rational explanations for her behaviour, but still also be creepy and obsessed with the Goldmans.

Rating: 2/5 necklaces from exclusive Vancouver boutiques

Title Score: B (a very generic thriller title for an extremely generic thriller)

A Two-Spirit Journey: The Autobiography of a Lesbian Ojibwa-Cree Elder by Ma-Nee Chacaby with Mary Louisa Plummer

Synopsis: This is the autobiography of Ma-Nee Chacaby, an Ojibwa-Cree Elder who eventually led Thunder Bay’s first Gay Pride Parade in 2013. She was born in Ombabika, Ontario in 1952, and the book chronicles her experiences, relationships, addictions, abuse, and spiritual journey growing up and living across Northern Ontario.

My thoughts: I thought that this was a really gripping and engaging account of Ma-Nee’s life, and it was shocking to hear about all the hardships she had gone through throughout her life. But it was so amazing to watch her get knocked down (sometimes literally) but still get back up again. I was also struck by how much she had experienced at a very young age, for example she had already been married, had kids, and divorced by the time she was in her early twenties. I also really admire her for staying true to her two-spirit identity, even when other Indigenous people hated her for it (because it made their own lives more difficult. Reading the afterward made me really appreciate all the work that Mary Louisa Plummer did to turn Ma-Nee’s oral account into a book that would be easy for the reader to understand but also true to Ma-Nee’s way of speaking. I can’t speak to the latter goal, but she definitely accomplished the former. Plummer definitely treated this as an academic project (it was published by the University of Manitoba Press) and she was determined to not repeat the mistakes of similar memoirs, where the white researchers often took ownership and did not fully respect the stories of the Indigenous women they were recording.

Rating: 4/5 Women’s Music Festivals where you met your soulmate 10 years ago

Title Score: A (this is exactly what the book was about, no notes)

This Will Be Fun by E. B. Asher

Synopsis: 10 years ago, a team of heroes saved the Queendom of Mythria from a terrible darkness. There was beautiful Beatrice, prickly Elowen, ex-bandit Clare, and heroic Galwell the Great, and together they were known as the Four. But saving the queendom did not come without sacrifice, and Galwell gave his life so that his friends could survive and succeed in their mission. 10 years later, the surviving members of the Four have gone their separate ways. Beatrice married a rich but rather dull duke, and has just been divorced by him. Clare has appeared in many advertisements and sponsorships, determined to be able to pay his own way. And Elowen has retreated to a dark forest, where she hopes that no one will brave the treacherous woods in order to bother her. But the Four have been served a summons that they cannot turn down: the marriage of the former-Princess, now-Queen of Mythria to her beloved. They owe it to the Queen to show up, but will Clare, Beatrice, Elowen (and their longtime adversary Vandra) survive the journey without ripping each other’s heads off? And even worse, will they be able to save the Queendom one more time?

My thoughts: This was a lighthearted queer (and straight) romance that was basically all fluff. The magic system didn’t make a ton of sense, and the author’s focus seemed to be on parodying real life with magic as much as possible (Wagons instead of Ubers, heart-magic consultants instead of therapists, brew taverns instead of Starbucks, etc etc etc). That being said, it was still charming, and it was nice to see that Elowen x Vandra and Beatrice x Clare each repair their own relationships with their partners but also with their questmates.

Rating: 3/5 Annual Clare look-alike contests

Title Score: D (this has nothing to do with the book and a bit trite imo)

Reading Stats for July to December 2024

• Total Books Read: 9
• Reading Mediums: 9 physical books
• Books Owned vs. Borrowed: 2 books owned, 2 books semi-owned (see individual book reviews for reasons why), 5 books borrowed from library

The Nanny by Lana Ferguson

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Synopsis: After losing her job and being on the brink of eviction, Cassie Evans finds herself with two choices: get a new job (and fast) or fire up her long-untouched OnlyFans account. But there are no jobs to be found, and as for OnlyFans... Well, there are reasons she can’t go back. Just when all hope seems lost, an ad for a live-in nanny position seems the solution to all her problems. It’s almost too perfect — until she meets her would-be employer.

Aiden Reid, executive chef and DILF extraordinaire, is far from the stuffy single dad Cassie was imagining. She is shocked when he tells her she’s the most qualified applicant he’s met in weeks, practically begging her to take the job. The idea of living under the same roof as Aiden feels dangerous, but with no other option, she decides to stay with him and his adorably tenacious daughter, Sophie.

Cassie soon discovers that Aiden is not a stranger at all, but instead someone who is very familiar with her — or at least, her body. She finds herself at a loss for what to do, given that he doesn’t remember her. As their relationship heats to temperatures hotter than any kitchen Aiden has ever worked in, Cassie struggles with telling Aiden the truth, and the more terrifying possibility — losing the best chance at happiness she’s ever had.

My Thoughts: YES, OKAY, FINE! This is another romance book that I finished only to find out that it was originally Reylo fanfiction! Shut up, leave me alone! Reylo fanfic writers are everywhere now in contemporary romance books, they can hardly be avoided by an avid romance reader such as myself!

Anyways...

Yes, I did really like this book. It was extremely cheesy, yes, but sometimes I want that cheese. The Nanny delivered precisely when I was craving some romance cheese.

The characters were sweet, the plot was very predictable but still fun, the MANY sex scenes were... very good. Elisa, I'm warning you now, stay away from this book.

However, this book is not a 5 / 5 for me because it fell victim to the Fanfiction Turned Original Work Flaw: It kept alluding, many times, to characters' pasts without going into much detail. In fanfiction, this is usually a forgivable writing sin. After all, if we're all reading Percy Jackson fanfiction (uh for example), we all already know Percy's past. It doesn't need to be re-explained!

But if you're turning your fanfiction into an original work with “brand new” characters, you kind of need to explain their history if you're going to keep alluding to it. I cannot tell you how many times this book alluded to Cassie's childhood — her absent parents, how she basically raised herself and had to grow up at a terribly young age — without... actually going into any detail beyond mentioning that it happened.

If I try reading this story through the lens of it being Reylo fanfiction, I can kind of get it. Rey's parents weren't around in Star Wars lore, so claiming that Modern AU Rey's parents were just absent parents would be enough in fanfiction. But in an original story with original characters, it isn't enough to just mention that her parents were absent, shitty parents a couple times and assuming that’s enough. This didn't ruin the story for me, but it was a noticeable annoying detail that I couldn't look past.

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: Elspeth Spindle needs more than luck to stay safe in the eerie, mist-locked kingdom of Blunder — she needs a monster. She calls him the Nightmare, an ancient, mercurial spirit trapped in her head. He protects her. He keeps her secrets.

But nothing comes for free, especially magic.

When Elspeth meets a mysterious highwayman on the forest road, her life takes a drastic turn. Thrust into a world of shadow and deception, she joins a dangerous quest to cure Blunder from the dark magic infecting it. And the highwayman? He just so happens to be the King’s nephew, Captain of the most dangerous men in Blunder... And guilty of high treason.

Together they must gather twelve Providence Cards — the keys to the cure. But as the stakes heighten and their undeniable attraction intensifies, Elspeth is forced to face her darkest secret yet: the Nightmare is slowly taking over her mind. And she might not be able to stop him.

My Thoughts: Now THIS is how you write contemporary romantasy!

Excellent world-building, unique characters, intriguing plot, with a romance subplot that is the cherry on top of a good story rather than being the author’s primary focus.

Also, the only sex scene in this book is a “camera pans over to the fireplace” kind of sex scene, so this book has been deemed Elisa-safe.

I genuinely loved the world-building in this book, particularly the magic system it introduced. Magic being accessible to anyone who holds a Providence Card is such a fresh and unique take on a typical fantasy world’s magic system, it was quite fun to read. The author also skillfully balances explaining the world and its magic system in great detail, while keeping the story moving at a good pace and sprinkling in short re-explanations when needed.

I loved how the author wrote each character, specifically the main character Elpseth. Finally, a romantasy story that doesn’t treat their main female character as helpless, or powerless, or just straight-up stupid. Elpseth reacts to things realistically, and the times she reacts to things in a less-than-ideal way, it’s understandable given the situation/context.

I also adored the way the relationship between Elspeth and her “demon”, Nightmare, was written. The fact that he lives in her head and always gives snide, humorous commentary on what she is experiencing genuinely made me laugh at times, and I loved their dynamic of being stuck with each other and hating that, but at the end of the day, they’ve oddly become dear friends. I adored how Nightmare framed each time he warns Elpseth or does something to protect her as just wanting to protect his host body, but you can tell that he actually has grown quite fond of her in just the way he talks to her — not by him saying “I’ve grown fond of you”. Wow, showing not telling, a true rarity in contemporary romantasy / romance!

The only critique I can give this book is that the beginning is a bit slow, so it takes a while to fully get into the book. But once you’re in, it flies.

Finally, some good fucking food.

My Rating: 4.5 / 5

Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: In this sequel to One Dark Window, Elspeth and Ravyn have gathered most of the twelve Providence Cards, but the last, and most important one remains to be found: The Twin Alders.

If they are going to find it before the Solstice and cure the kingdom of the dark magic infecting it, they will need to journey beyond the dangerous mist-cloaked forest that surrounds their kingdom.

And the only one who can lead them there is the monster that shares Elspeth's head. The Nightmare. And he's not eager to share any longer.

My Thoughts: Thank you, Rachel Gillig, for giving us some actual good romantasy in this dark, dark time of Braindead Booktok Syndrome in contemporary romance/romantasy.

Remember how I said the only critique I could give One Dark Window was that the beginning was a bit slow? Well, this book shows that the author taking her time to introduce and explain the world definitely pays off. In this book, the plot picks up right after the events of the first book, and it hits the ground running. Two Twisted Crowns took everything that was good in One Dark Window, and gave us so much more.

I thoroughly enjoyed losing myself in this story and its world. I really enjoyed how this book continued its alternating-chapter type of narrative where each chapter is written from a different character’s perspective — and I loved the author’s choice of this book’s main voice being Elm, a secondary character from the first book. It was a clever and refreshing way of re-introducing the reader to the world with fresh eyes, while also offering new perspectives on the aftermath of the first book’s events. It also just made sense for the plot, as Elm was leading the charge in this book’s main conflicts.

I don’t know if this is a controversial take, but I enjoyed reading Elm’s perspective more than Ravyn’s (the main male character from the first book). I think that’s just personal bias, as Elm is more My Type – in romantasy/romance, I tend to like the Cocky-Charming-but-with-a-Heart-of-Gold guys like Elm, over the Dark-Mysterious-Brooding-but-Sweet-to-You guys like Ravyn.

Overall, this book was a delightful romantasy treat. I loved the story/plot, the unique world it’s set in, the character arcs, and the overall way the secondary-turned-main characters Elm and Ione were portrayed.

Bravo to Rachel Gillig for writing Ione, a character who is literally cursed to be unable to show her true emotions in the name of remaining ethereally beautiful, in a way that still portrays her as vastly interesting. She somehow reveals her true thoughts and personality underneath the confines of her curse, through cracks in the facade, in a way that I must applaud.

The ending was also perfect. My favourite relationship in this book ended up being not either of the two romantic relationships, but the platonic relationship between Elpseth and Nightmare. This poor girl has lived with this ancient demon in her head since she was a child, and has fought to get rid of him her entire life… But when she finally gets rid of him at the end, why am I crying along with the both of them as they say goodbye?! The way Rachel Gillig wove in Nightmare’s backstory from when he was an actual man in ancient times who turned into a demon, and how he found his way to Elpseth and grew to care for her, was incredible.

Something I didn’t mention in my review for the first book, but bravo again to Rachel Gillig for including all the poems / riddles she wrote for this world. In both books, each chapter begins with an “ancient riddle” or an “ancient poem” relating to what the characters are experiencing, and I loved every single one.

Excellent, excellent, excellent, across the board. If you’re looking for a solid romantasy read, I cannot recommend this duology enough. Rachel Gillig will be joining Emily Henry and Heather Fawcett on my list of authors whose books are an instant buy.

My Rating: 5 / 5

Bride by Ali Hazelwood

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Synopsis: Misery Lark, the only daughter of the most powerful Vampyre councilman of the Southwest, is an outcast — again. Her days of living in anonymity among the Humans are over: she has been called upon to uphold a historic peacekeeping alliance between the Vampyres and their mortal enemies, the Weres, and she sees little choice but to surrender herself in the exchange — again...

Weres are ruthless and unpredictable, and their Alpha, Lowe Moreland, is no exception. He rules his pack with absolute authority, but not without justice. And, unlike the Vampyre Council, not without feeling. It’s clear from the way he tracks Misery’s every movement that he doesn’t trust her. If only he knew how right he was…

Because Misery has her own reasons to agree to this marriage of convenience, reasons that have nothing to do with politics or alliances, and everything to do with the only thing she's ever cared about. And she is willing to do whatever it takes to get back what’s hers, even if it means a life alone in Were territory… alone with the wolf.

My Thoughts: Well then. The rest of my reading round-up will be taking quite the turn from the high that was Rachel Gillig’s duology.

After Two Twisted Crowns, I fell into a bit of a reading slump. In an effort to escape it, I went to my local library and plucked 4 quick-read romance books off the shelf. This book was the first of the four.

And boy, it was a quick read, but a bit of a stinker.

I have a love-hate relationship with Ali Hazelwood’s books. A self-confirmed Reylo fanfiction writer from AO3, who turned to writing “original” contemporary romances and has found great success in recent years, her writing style unfortunately exemplifies everything I hate in fanfiction writing.

Too many pop culture references. Too many quirky, #relatable, millennial-cringe female characters. A writing style so drenched in cringey millennial humour, it feels like I’m reading a bad tumblr post rather than an actual book.

I read her debut novel, The Love Hypothesis, a few years ago completely blind to who Ali Hazelwood was, or the fact that it was originally her most popular Reylo fanfiction from AO3 — published after making some simple name changes. Even before knowing this, I thought the book was just okay at best.

But as an avid romance reader, I’ve been seeing Ali Hazelwood everywhere in the romance community since then. She has really been churning out book after book. So after seeing a full shelf at my local library of just her books, I decided to give her another chance and chose 2 of her new books at random.

And oh boy.

Bride is an omega(n)verse story — for those unaware, that’s werewolf romance. For once, this story is fully original from Ali Hazelwood and is not based on Reylo at all. However, it still suffers from the worst qualities of her bad fanfiction writing style.

Too many pop culture references? Check. Too many quirky, #relatable, millennial-cringe female characters? Check. A writing style so drenched in millennial humour, it feels like I’m reading a bad tumblr post rather than an actual book? Check.

Every character was either boring or annoyingly #quirky and #random. The oddly extensive world-building fell flat because it fell apart the minute you started asking more questions about it. The plot itself was juuuust interesting enough that I finished the book to see how it would all be resolved, but then the ending was lackluster.

Hilariously enough, the best written parts of the book were the sex scenes, and even those weren’t amazing. You’d think sex scenes that included the werewolf romance trope of knotting would be a little bit interesting! The two main characters didn’t really have strong chemistry, they just felt like two hot dolls that were being mashed together.

Also, your “edgy but relatably quirky” main character, who also is a vampire, is named MISERY? C’mon. I couldn’t take it seriously the entire book.

My Rating: 2 / 5

Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Synopsis: A forbidden, secret affair proves that all’s fair in love and science.

Rue Siebert might not have it all, but she has enough: a few friends she can always count on, the financial stability she yearned for as a kid, and a successful career as a biotech engineer at Kline, one of the most promising start-ups in the field of food science. Her world is stable, pleasant, and hard-fought. Until a hostile takeover and its offensively attractive front man threatens to bring it all crumbling down.

Eli Killgore and his business partners want Kline, period. Eli has his own reasons for pushing this deal through — and he's a man who gets what he wants. With one burning exception: Rue. The woman he can't stop thinking about. The woman who's off-limits to him.

Torn between loyalty and an undeniable attraction, Rue and Eli throw caution out the lab and the boardroom windows. Their affair is secret, no-strings-attached, and has a built-in deadline: the day one of their companies will prevail. But the heart is risky business — one that plays for keeps.

My Thoughts: This book was the second of the four quick-read romances I picked up to cure my reading slump. It was also the second book in my self-imposed challenge of reading more Ali Hazelwood books to see if she improved from her mid debut novel.

This book was boring at best, and at worst, mildly infuriating.

This book was so clearly Ali Hazelwood’s attempt at writing a more “serious” romance, it was almost laughable. Goodbye, cringe millennial jokes, now we have characters who had troubled childhoods! And that’s all you need to make a well-developed character and a good serious romance, right?

Ugh.

I hated the main characters in this book. Rue, the main girl, is an attempt at writing a stoic and serious personality — but she has the personality of cardboard. Eli, the main guy, is an attempt at writing a charming guy who brings the main girl out of her shell — but he’s very weird and creepy. Their entire relationship was embarrassingly insta-lusty/insta-obsession, the fact that they fall in love at all feels non-sensical and out of left field. Their lack of chemistry, romantic or even platonic, was downright embarrassing. I’m supposed to believe that these two are giving each other dramatic love confessions at the end that they genuinely mean — but do they even like each other?! Are they even friends, or do they just like fucking each other’s bodies?!

The plot is also just boring and predictable. I barely have anything to say about the so-called rivalry between their companies, because it was all so non-consequential.

The only saving grace in this book were the sex scenes. Which made up maybe 80% of this book. Some of them were pretty hot, I think these were Ali Hazelwood’s best written sex scenes to date. If taken out of this book and slapped into another, I’d dare say that I may have enjoyed them.

But then I remember who the characters are and the story that they are in, or Ali Hazelwood throws in one of her cringey ass lines, and I remember that sometimes a book having decent sex scenes doesn’t mean it’s a good book. Despite what some people on BookTok would argue.

The fact that this novel has any accolades astonishes me.

My Rating: 1.5 / 5

A Merry Little Meet Cute by Sierra Simone & Julie Murphy

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Synopsis: Bee Hobbes (AKA Bianca Von Honey) has a successful career as a plus-size adult film star. With a huge following and two supportive moms, Bee couldn’t ask for more. But when Bee’s favorite producer casts her to star in a Christmas movie he’s making for the squeaky-clean Hope Channel, Bee’s career is about to take a more family-friendly direction.

Forced to keep her work as Bianca under wraps, Bee quickly learns this is a task a lot easier said than done. Though it all becomes worthwhile when she discovers her co-star is none other than childhood crush Nolan Shaw, an ex-boy band member in desperate need of career rehab. Nolan’s promised his bulldog manager to keep it zipped up on set, and he will if it means he’ll be able to provide a more stable living situation for his sister and mom.

But things heat up quickly in Christmas Notch, Vermont, when Nolan recognizes his new co-star from her ClosedDoors account (oh yeah, he’s a member). Now Bee and Nolan are sneaking off for quickies on set, keeping their new relationship a secret from the Hope Channel’s execs. Things only get trickier when the reporter who torpedoed Nolan’s singing career comes snooping around — and takes an instant interest in mysterious newcomer Bee.

And if Bee and Nolan can’t keep their off-camera romance behind the scenes, then this merry little meet cute might end up on the cutting room floor.

My Thoughts: This book was the third of the four quick-read romances I picked up to cure my reading slump — mainly because it was the holiday season and this book was featured in a holiday romance display. This book also probably had the benefit of being read immediately after one of Ali Hazelwood’s worst books.

This book was a pretty cute read, despite its inherently steamy setting of the main character being a renowned porn star. I liked Bee and her funny narrative, which toed the line between being actually funny and being a bit millennial cringe (not on Ali Hazelwood’s level though, no one is that bad).

The plot was surprisingly entertaining — it was well-paced and read like your typical comedy movie. I actually enjoyed how romance tropes were used in this book as well, as they were pretty tongue-in-cheek. I also liked the variety of character dynamics that were shown between main character Bee and the people in her life — ranging from her porn director-turned-father figure, to her best friend, to her eccentric moms.

Despite all this, this book wasn’t a home-run for me. The many sex scenes were decent at best. The book got kind of boring in the middle, and the setting itself sometimes got a little too Hallmark-movie-cheesy.

Also, I didn’t really like the main guy Nolan. Unfortunately all of his grand romantic gestures and actions and words were undercut by the fact that he recognized Bee from her porn work and that was the basis of his obsession with her — he was a follower and long-time fan of her porn work.

The book tries extremely hard to show Nolan falling in love with Bee for who she is as a person, but unfortunately it doesn’t feel so romantic when the book comedically references that this guy admitted to obsessively jacking off to this girl before they met in person.

Though there are far greater sins in contemporary romance books today — I’m looking at you, every book by Colleen Hoover and Haunting Adeline!

My Rating: 2.5 / 5

A Holly Jolly Ever After by Sierra Simone & Julie Murphy

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from library

Synopsis: Kallum Lieberman is the funny one™. As the arguably lesser of the three former members of the boy band INK, he enjoyed his fifteen minutes of fame and then moved home where he opened a regional pizza chain called Slice, Slice, Baby! He’s living his best dad bod life, hooking up with bridesmaids at all his friends’ weddings. But after an old one-off sex tape is leaked and quickly goes viral, Kallum decides he’s ready to step into the spotlight again, starring in a sexy Santa biopic for the Hope Channel.

Winnie Baker did everything right. She married her childhood sweetheart, avoided the downfalls of adolescent stardom, and transitioned into a stable adult acting career. Hell, she even waited until marriage to have sex. But after her perfect life falls apart, Winnie is ready to redefine herself — and what better way than a steamy Christmas movie?

With decade-old Hollywood history between them, Winnie and Kallum are both feeling hesitant about their new situation as co-stars… especially Winnie who can’t seem to fake on-screen pleasure she’s never experienced in real life. She’s willing to do the pleasure research — for science and artistic authenticity, of course. And there’s no better research partner than her bridesmaid sex tape hall of fame costar, Kallum. But suddenly, Kallum’s teenage crush on Winnie is bubbling to the surface and Winnie might be catching feelings herself.

They say opposites attract, but is this holly jolly ever after really ready for its close-up?

My Thoughts: This book was the fourth and final book of the four quick-read romances I picked up to cure my reading slump — mainly because it was the sequel to the previous holiday romance I picked up.

So, yes. All four quick-read romances I picked up at the library to escape my reading slump were stinkers, yet they somehow successfully got me out of my reading slump regardless. Maybe out of spite.

Anywho, this book was not good.

I was surprised to find that in the first half, I was enjoying this book more than the first one. I liked the main character, Winnie, and found her more interesting due to her story of escaping the downfalls of childhood fame and breaking out of her deep roots in purity culture. The main guy, Kallum, was kind of annoying but overall a harmless love interest.

The sex scenes were pretty hot. I was relieved to find that the book didn’t lean into the disturbing and weirdly sexualized “innocent girl x experienced guy” romance trope, and instead framed it as being empowering for Winnie as she rejected her upbringing in purity culture and wanted to be true to herself and her (lust) feelings for Kallum.

This book sadly lost me in the second half.

The book quickly gets pretty boring, and at some points mildly infuriating as the main characters fall into the rightfully loathed miscommunication trope. Just talk to each other and it would resolve everything, you idiots!

Worst of all, this book commits my most loathed fanfiction sin in the second half — accidental pregnancy. You’re telling me this poor woman who is finally escaping her shitty marriage and the chains of her purity culture upbringing, gets knocked up accidentally by the first guy she hooks up with?! It was infuriating to read, even as Winnie frames it as a blessing in disguise since she always wanted a kid but had trouble conceiving in her shitty marriage. It reminded me of Lane Kim in Gilmore Girls — a female character getting just a taste of true freedom, before being shackled down with raising a kid after an accidental pregnancy. Infuriating.

Even as the book frames it as the baby being another source of liberation for Winnie, as she finally defies her conservative parents to raise the baby how she wants, it still wasn’t enough. The happy ending with her and Kallum getting back together after their inevitable third-act break-up to raise the baby together felt so ugh.

Definitely won’t be reading this book again.

My Rating: 2 / 5

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: (Unfortunately) Owned (before handing the curse off to Nick/Vivian)

Synopsis: Anastasia Allen has worked her entire life for a shot at Team USA. It looks like everything is going according to plan when she gets a full scholarship to the University of California, Maple Hills, and lands a place on their competitive figure skating team.

Nothing will stand in her way, not even the captain of the hockey team, Nate Hawkins.

Nate’s focus as team captain is on keeping his team on the ice. Which is tricky when a facilities mishap means they are forced to share a rink with the figure skating team — including Anastasia, who clearly can’t stand him.

But when Anastasia’s skating partner faces an uncertain future, she may have to look to Nate to take her shot.

Sparks fly, but Anastasia isn’t worried… because she could never like a hockey player, right?

My Thoughts: Well, well, well. You thought I was done reading shitty romances? I was too, until I decided to read this book before dropping it like a live grenade into our book club’s White Elephant book exchange.

Like Christ on the cross, I read these shitty ass romances to save you from their sins.

Icebreaker was one of the worst romances I’ve ever read. And let me just say, I was ready to be Icebreaker’s #1 defender. I genuinely tried liking this book, despite everything that I’d heard about it. However, liking this book proved to be impossible.

This book was way too long and way too much. It felt like I was just reading filler and filler instead of reading an actual story. Somehow there was simultaneously too much drama and ridiculous plot, while being incredibly boring.

I hated every single character in this book. Not one character was redeemable or, at minimum, likeable. I despised the main character Anastasia — I hated how the book tried to make her come off as charmingly grumpy and jaded, but she was just very annoying and unnecessarily mean. When she wasn’t actively pissing me off with her weirdly rude attitude or her braindead decision-making, she was boring me.

I hated how comically evil the main “villain” of the story, Aaron, was. You’re telling me that the book (through its narrative and its side characters) is constantly reminding me that wow, Anastasia goes to therapy, she is so smart and capable and #girlboss. Yet she doesn’t have a spine?! She lets her walking red flag of a skating partner Aaron treat her like shit and literally give her an eating disorder, but I’m supposed to believe this girl is extremely smart and capable?!

It boggles my mind how this book creates this insane paradox of Anastasia being constantly called (because this book tells everything instead of showing) strong-willed, capable, and strong, while she acts as Aaron’s personal doormat throughout the entire book. Until the last chapter when she has her #girlboss moment of standing up to him because he… assaults her?! Kisses her against her will?!

This book is insane. Every other character besides Anastasia and Aaron (including Nathan, the love interest) were either braindead parodies of the author’s idea of college-aged students, or the flattest background character imaginable.

The plot (if you can call it that) of this book was extremely boring, verging on non-existent. Every problem that Anastasia faced was infuriatingly self-imposed. The “enemies to lovers” nature of Anastasia and Nathan’s relationship was a poor excuse at trying to create a semblance of chemistry between them. Their entire relationship was so embarrassingly insta-love/insta-obsession — can anyone tell me what they actually like about each other?! Aside from fucking each other’s bodies?!

Overall, nothing happens in this book despite it being so fucking long. And on top of everything, this author felt like she was in competition with Ali Hazelwood on who could have the worst millennial-cringe style of bad fanfiction writing.

Could it get much worse than this?

My Rating: 1 / 5

The Christmas Tree Farm by Laurie Gilmore

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned (before being promptly returned/exchanged for a better book at the bookstore)

Synopsis: Kira North hates Christmas. Which is unfortunate since she just bought a Christmas tree farm in a town that’s too cute for its own good.

Bennett Ellis is on vacation in Dream Harbor taking a break from his life in California. And most importantly, taking a break from his latest run of disastrous dates.

After a run in with Kira in her fields, Ben has no intention of offering to help the grumpy owner set up her tree farm, despite the fact she’s clearly got no idea what she’s doing.

Kira knows she should stop being so stubborn, but her farm is not all cute and cozy like people always show on social media, it’s borderline dangerous with no heating, and she’d rather no one saw it.

But somehow fate finds Ben at Kira’s farm once more, and as Kira watches him swing an ax at the first tree, she finds herself appreciating his strength and questionning why she refused help in the first place…

My Thoughts: Turns out, it can get much worse! Behold, I somehow found a book worse than Icebreaker!

I received this book in my traditional pile of books I get from my mom every Christmas. She said, and I quote, “This book is super popular at work [Chapters Indigo] right now, everyone’s buying it. I think it’s a TikTok book?”

That should have been my first warning.

I like to think that I have a very high tolerance for bad books. I always finish a book, no matter how bad it is, mainly out of stubborn spite or wanting to know how it ends despite it all.

This book is the 2nd book that, in recent memory, I purposefully did not finish because I just couldn’t take it anymore. (For curious readers: the 1st book I can remember DNFing was Three Holidays and a Wedding, by Uzma Jalaluddin & Marissa Stapley).

There was literally nothing redeemable about this book. At least Icebreaker has a couple hot sex scenes. Even the sex scenes in this book were horribly written.

This book felt like an A.I. was fed every Ali Hazelwood book along with every other shitty BookTok romance, then shit this out.

Every character was simultaneously insufferable and unmemorable, the plot was horribly predictable and boring while being annoyingly unrealistic, the so-called romantic chemistry was non-existent.

Just like Anastasia from Icebreaker, Kira was supposed to be charmingly grumpy but ended up being annoying and unnecessarily mean. The main character Bennett (not Montgomery) had an insufferable hero complex — he’s written like we’re supposed to think he’s so sweet, but the way he constantly let people walk all over him was pathetic and unbelievable. The “love at first sight” nature of their relationship was so unrealistic and forced, I couldn’t take it anymore.

The storyline proved to be so bland and so boring, that I ended up skipping the majority of the middle of the book. I think I got about 40% into the book, before I grumpily flipped ahead to the 95% mark to just read the ending. And guess what happened? The story read as if I didn’t skip anything at all. That’s how repetitive, bland, and boring the story was — I was able to skip ahead and read the ending without feeling like I missed anything significant.

Insanity.

Thank goodness I was able to exchange this book for something better at Chapters, or else you would have seen me use it as kindling at Nick’s next bonfire.

I may have trolled my friends by dropping Icebreaker into our White Elephant gift exchange, but this book? I’m not that bad of a person.

My Rating: 0 / 5

In Conclusion…

Now that I’m done hating (for now) — I’m happy to share that I crushed my reading goal for 2024! Woohoo! I’m honestly really proud of myself, this is the first time I’ve beat my reading goal since before university (I was lucky if I read 5 books for pleasure during the academic year). I can’t wait to see what I read in 2025.

Final Notes

Something you should know about me, dear reader, is that sometimes I thrive on hating. Call me a glutton for punishment. After all, how am I supposed to denounce these shitty BookTok romance books in good faith, by saying “I read people online saying they are bad”? No, let me hit the primary source.

I’ve been greatly inspired by WithCindy and her book roasts on Youtube, highly recommend if you enjoyed this hateful reading round-up and want to hear more hating.

Keep an eye out, for in my following reading round-ups, I may have more hate reviews coming your way. More Ali Hazelwood? More from the Icebreaker universe (yup, there’s more books set in the Icebreaker universe)? Or something entirely new and shitty? Only time will tell.

This has been Kaitlyn's Reading Round-Up, signing off!

User experience (UX) design, put simply, is the act of forming tangible experiences that cause or assist a user to complete a certain action or feel a certain way.

The keyword here is “tangible experiences”: others can design experiences as well, sure, but it is our sole ability and responsibility to translate them to something tangible; to materialize them in front of a player. We do this by holding the player at the center of our work's universe, considering them and their needs as we form systems and interfaces to guide them to their 'physical' – or emotional – destination.

To create a good user experience is a learned skill, inevitably brimming of trial and error. After all, the nature of this kind of work is to begin by making mistakes. These mistakes are tested, these tests produce results, and these results allow us to distill our creations to the point where they execute our intention as perfectly as possible (because in a space like this, perfection is never achievable).

How do you begin thinking like an experience designer? What is design thinking? Unfortunately, it might be impossible to simply transform you into a designer in the short span of a few paragraphs. Still, I can try to help you take the first step.

This Is Probably How You Will Need to Design

Design Thinking / The Experience Goal

Consider something near you. I will consider the eight ounces of to-go drip coffee next to me that I've half finished in the span of thirty minutes. This cup of coffee is not one, but two cups stacked on top of each other, with a plastic lid on top. The coffee is warm.

Why did the barista give me two cups? You might think the answers to be obvious: one cup would be too thin and could potentially burn me; two cups helps insulate the coffee so that it stays warm longer. And yes, these are the only answers; I have no reason to obscure any more from you. But to think of something and break down why it was made the way it is... that is the first step of design thinking. Then we simply reverse it.

In the design process, we start with an objective, an experience goal. We want a cafe patron to be able to comfortably consume their coffee. Simple enough. From there, we consider our user's demographic and their needs.

Consider the User

The average human is simple. They often fail to think before acting; thus, they have the potential to burn themselves on the coffee. But, they don't want to burn themselves!

The average human is also easily irritated. If something they paid for doesn't work out the way they want, there's a high chance they will get upset. Hot coffee cooling down quickly might make them punch a hole in our thin little plaster walls.

Okay, so we've thought about our customer and assumed some things about them. These are not the only traits of a coffee drinker, of course; we don't know everything! We never know everything. If we are unsure of what we might have missed, we can research to discover more factors in our decision-making. We can place a little survey next to the register of the shop, asking our customers how we can improve their experience. We can make user researchers analyze that data and provide us with design directions to follow, because data analysis is not the meat of our job, and we can then make more improvements that soothe those new qualms of our users.

Subsequently, after research, we make some informed design decisions. What if we lined our hot drinks with an additional cup at minimal cost, to ensure customers don't get hurt and sue the shit out of our dinky little third-wave coffee shop? And hey, that second cup would work well to keep our coffee warm for longer! And why not wrap the cups with a little cardboard sleeve, because Janine-53-years-old-who-buys-a-latte-every-two-days said that cup was too damn hot?

Everything I've said above is hopefully not groundbreaking to you at all. I've used all this dramatic and serious language, and you're probably sitting there thinking, “this girl is full of shit, because all the stuff she's pointing out is blatantly obvious”. And that's right! I'm full of shit. However, what might not be as obvious to you is that most people never consciously consider the reasons why something is the way it is, because good design is invisible design. Good design shouldn't make anyone stop and think (undesirable unless intended), because if so, we've slowed down the user or marred their experience (undesirable unless intended), and that makes both user and designer sad. So, if you're sitting there thinking “this is obvious and I already knew it all”, then that probably means we've achieved our purpose. Probably.

User Flow

So we've decided that two cups would help Janine out, and an additional cardboard sleeve would really help Janine out. How do we get these items into Janine's hands, so that she doesn't complain about the temperature of her coffee?

To begin, we try developing a user flow. This is where you, the designer, detail the chain of actions, choices, and expectations you envision the user to execute – via our design – in order to meet our desired experience goal. Creating a user flow takes time and detail-oriented thinking, because the designer must consider every possible state in the process. Where do we start? What can we assume? What are the causes and effects of decisions? What are our expected failure points and how do we resolve them back into our desired course of action?

An example flow for the solutions to our hot coffee dilemma would look something like this:

When a designer puts a user flow together, the chain of events should not be confusing to any random passerby viewing the flow. The final iteration of a user flow, after any review and feedback, should not generate new, relevant what-ifs, because we should be confident that we are accounting for, to the best of our abilities, every relevant possible state, cause, decision, action, and effect.

The Tangible Translation: Wireframes and Mockups

Time for the fun part: transforming plans into real existence! The coffee allegory becomes kinda irrelevant here: in that situation, the plan would simply be something along the lines of:

• increase the regular order of cups
• train baristas to follow expected user flow
• profit

But in the world of digital user experience, we mainly work with screen interfaces. To start, we look at our design decisions and user flow, and we identify:

• main screens
• subcomponents (widgets, panels, etc.)
• states of said screens and subcomponents.

Once these aspects are laid out (you can write a list of them if that helps!), we get to work, translating and aggregating them into wireframes. Wireframes are low-fidelity visual series of mockups of what users could expect to see and interact with in our games or software. They look something like this:

Panels. Buttons. Text. Tabs. But just that. Wireframes present no consideration of visual style. The size of things in a wireframe is not even final. It is tempting to add some kind of visual treatment, especially if you come from an artistic background, but doing so can impede upon the distinction between wireframe and visual mockup. The designer's sole focus here is to present all information to the viewer and user in a way that is simple and sensible. Make their experience of using the software easy.

Note that though there is no visual style applied, certain items have darker and lighter shades or outlines. It is important for our fellow developers to be able to at least slightly understand the difference between a button, a panel, something interactive, and something not. Of course, you can supplement this visual discernment with captions or notes for those who need to reference your work.

In the wireframing process, you should continue to consider end users, but do not forget another crucial set of users: your development compatriots. Who are you showing this to? An engineer who will implement your work? A designer who isn't familiar with how you might lay things out? Try to build your wireframes in ways that align with how they might use or interpret your work.

I've been mentioning users nonstop here. To put it harshly, we user experience designers are simply... vessels of design. While working, we exist and interact with the world solely for the sake of the user experience. Everyone else's thoughts are our priority – though that does not mean you should not consider your own instincts! You are usually also a demographic of the user base. Still, a good designer will be able to separate their biases from the real needs of their users.

Anyways. States. I have given you three frames here, which are all states of the same parent screen. The frames' relationship here is represented by consistent elements among all the frames and the changes in between them. This is important for understanding how the user flow applies between screens and components. For the viewer's convenience, I usually like to provide a key of those components that might change in between screens, and I tend to label major screen states in large text.

This is about as far as I can take you when it comes to wireframe construction guidelines. The intricacies of visual software are things best explained by the countless YouTube tutorials at your fingertips; I highly recommend turning to those for knowledge on auto-layout and prototyping. Good luck!

Presentation and Feedback

Your wireframes are done and ready to be presented? Time for the feedback gauntlet.

Presenting your work to designers and other stakeholders (be it producers, engineers, or anyone, really) is daunting. In a review meeting, the average designer will link their Figma file, screenshare, and walk through every screen/state/design functionality for the audience to comment on and tear apart. Knowledge of your work and the ability to concisely explain it becomes crucial. Some things to keep in mind:

• Always understand the greater narrative of what you are trying to explain. You can easily and accidentally drift into granular detail, but your stakeholders are trying to understand how the feature works.

• More than often, if not every time: your audience will pose questions or mention things that you didn't expect, or maybe forgot to cover in your designs. If that's the case, try not to view this as a failure on your part; instead, think of it more as a new thing to solve collectively.

  • Remember, everything is WIP until it's approved. (Sometimes you can delegate questions to others based on the context! Sometimes you can also pose an idea on the spot and work it through, then mention you'll add that later.)

• Engineers don't hate you. (this is hard to remember in the moment)

• Butting heads with someone? Their feedback is valid, even if you don't think it is at first glance. As a UX designer, your duty is to listen and try to understand where they're coming from before making further statements. Ask them to explain themselves and focus on their reasoning in response to anything they say that seems outlandish. Maybe they actually see something you don't.

• Leave every feedback meeting with an explicit understanding of what to do next. Make changes? Send links to people? Keep track of it all.

That Was Quick

I have only some confidence that I've covered even the majority of what you might need to know as a designer. I don't know if I can handle writing more. The truth is, you – the new designer – will learn a lot of this the hard way, through trial and error, and by getting burned by your mistakes. That's okay! Making mistakes is normal, as we know by now; it's how you respond to them and change your behavior going forward that counts.

Being a designer is wonderfully rewarding. The moment you see people using and enjoying the thing you made, you remember why you did it all; why you almost cried that one night at your computer, why you shook from sheer caffeine intake the other day as you hastily labeled your work for the review in one hour. This thing was once a scant few thoughts in your head, and now it is everyone else's to admire and hate and laugh at and break and use.

We designers are but simple creatures who only want to make useful, beautiful, delightful things for others to use. We dream to make people's lives easier, to help them have fun, to make them feel. It is easy to forget in the forest of everyday labor why we committed to creative work in the first place... but without this, what else do we have? What could be greater than the joy of creation? Are we anything without that which we love the most?

No. We are not. Now go forth and become a workaholic.

My rating scale more or less looks like this:

0 – really bad: Approximately no redeeming qualities. 1 – not good: Overall an album I did not like. 2 – neutral: Completely fine, more or less inoffensive for the entire listen. Background music tier. 3 – has some songs I like: Most of the album is bad to inoffensive, but there are some great songs in there too. 4 – has a good chunk of songs I like: A solid amount of this music is stuff I like, there might be a couple of bad songs and more inoffensive songs, but at this point I would start saying the album was good. 5 – I like most of it: Broadly speaking this is where we get into albums that are full of great songs. It has its flaws for me, but there's a lot of good here. 6 – I like just about all of it: Just about every single song on here is great, though maybe there's some thematic inconsistencies, parts that are outdone by other parts, or something like that. This can also often mean this is as good as an album can be for what it is. A generic sounding trap album without much in terms of deeper themes can land here if every song is just great, despite the album lacking that something more to elevate it. 7 – I really like all of it: just a fantastic album from start to back. 8 – Everything here is compelling: Creative, exciting, interesting, complex, compelling. The best of the best, the type of shit I'd put on a satellite to send our best to the aliens.

SOTY: Song of the year, but really just a marker for some of the absolute best songs I listened to this year

Naturally it's my opinion, and my mood at the time of listening almost certainly has some impact. If something scores higher I'm more likely to know more about the album as I've likely listened to it more. Not only because I enjoy it more, thus making me more likely to listen to it, but also, I care to rate it more accurately when it's an album I respect. An album I don't respect isn't getting much listening time, and an album think has mostly bad songs I can just chuck in one of the two bad categories based on just how terrible it seemed in the moment. This didn't happen much last year, and no albums got a 0.

Note: One thing that absolutely kills me is when guys hate on female rappers by default, and its everywhere. The amount of guys I know that just happen to have every least favourite song on every album be one where a woman has a feature and hates on the woman in question without actually listening to any albums drives me insane. I have included a tag for Women in hip hop, which is the type of thing I usually wouldn't do, letting my reviews stand for themselves, but knowing the sheer amount of misogyny in rap and rap fans, I figure it's good to throw something out there. That being said, it has been a very interesting time for women in hip hop, because it seems like women make up the vast majority of new rap stars these days. The 2010s era has left a ton of men as the biggest selling acts, but since then, very few men have been able to come up in the same way. In their place, there are many women getting a ton of play. It's something I've been keeping an eye on as I broadly see the zeitgeist moving from rap to country. Also, more discourse these days seems to shut down men who don't like the female rappers pretty quickly. Maybe it's the world changing, or maybe it's just young fans of hip hop growing up. I sure as hell don't know, but I'm glad to finally see it.

Also note: I didn't proofread this at all.

My Story Got Stories – Bruiser Wolf: 4 (with love)

Old School hip hop / Rap

I first heard of Bruiser Wold through YBP from Danny Brown's album Quaranta. Bruiser completely captured my attention with his very specific modern yet somehow very old school hip hop flow, with one of my favourite lines “It's hard to fit in to the murder mitten like OJ's glove”. I heard his album was releasing soon, and put it in my calendar to check out as soon as possible. This album was a ton of fun, and even had me laughing out loud more than a couple times. Bruiser Wolf raps with so much energy, his delivery is constantly exciting, and the amount of quips and jokes through this album made it an absolute blast to listen to. I went to see a performance live, and it elevated the experience with how good a performer he is. He falls into my favourite category of rap these days which is old rappers who decided to have fun or do something interesting with their experience instead of falling off and getting angry.

Dope Boy

2 Bad

Silence is Loud – NIA Archives: 5

Jungle / Drum & Bass

This is another one I was really excited for. I found NIA Archive after looking for new jungle music visiting the hospital one day, and holy there's a lot of good music in here despite her being such a young artist. The music is fun, interesting, fast paced yet smooth, and really puts me in a good place. I also went to see this concert live and it was my first experience with dancing in maybe 10 years, which was fun. I loved this album and listened to it a ton, and it's still a go-to if I get the aux and want to play music no-one will recognize.

Cards On The Table SOTY

Forbidden Feelingz SOTY

American Dream – 21 Savage: 3

Trap / Rap

21 Savage is back with another album after Her Loss which was a collab album with drake. 21 has fallen into what I generally have as the peak of hip hop sales, blowing up in the mid 2010s and having major commercial success. It seems that the rappers around this time, including Drake, Future, Kendrick, Cole, Young Thug, Gunna, and Carti are the main hip hop artists who seem to be able to drive sales no matter what they do. Unfortunately for many of these artists, that has led to just doing the same thing with the same sound, just rehashing some slang and switching things up just enough to be different. 21 was interesting because despite being probably one of the most boring rappers, he kept evolving and switching up the scope and sound of his production just enough to keep him actually as one of the most interesting prospects. Unfortunately, I consider this album to be one of his 2 mis-steps into just doing something extremely basic for an album. It isn't bad, but most of it is just fairly background spare a few real highlights.

Redrum

Blue Lips – ScHoolboy Q: 5

Grimy / Rap

Schoolboy Q was a major name when Kendrick was blowing up alongside everyone in their label, Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE). He had some absolutely incredible, creative, and grimy music that I would comfortably say belongs in a list of all time classics. He decided to make a change and do some more personal music, but unfortunately ended up making an album in 2019 called Crash Talk that was very bland, and despite a few highlights, I thought fell completely flat, after which he disappeared for a long time. This album is an incredible return to form, where while it may not reach the all time music highs of Blank Face or Oxymoron, blends more creative music sounds, more grimy beats and flows, yet still retains more of the personal reality that I think he was trying to go for in Crash Talk.

Blueslides

Back n Love

Everybody Can't Go – Benny The Butcher: 3

Griselda / Rap

Benny The Butcher of Griselda was generally seen as the best and most hype more mainstream sounding of the group. It seems that with this album, there was a bigger rollout, different features from usual, and a big push to make it a more commercial breakout record. It was a solid enough album, but the lead single pushed the most was also one of my least enjoyed from the album and constantly shoved into my recommendations, which didn't help. That being said, it still had some solid highlights and Benny, while releasing something not as great as previous collab albums like, he still put out something solid enough.

Jermanie's Graduation

Big Dog

No Quarter – Vino La Mano: 4

Griselda / Rap

This is a guy signed to Benny The Butcher's label who Benny has helped platform. While the album doesn't vary too much in sound or fully distinguish itself sonically, it is just really good and consistently so.

238 on Cal

All My Heart

We Don't Trust You – Future, Metro Boomin: 3

Trap / Rap

This album is a collab album between Future and Metro Boomin, which broadly means that it will sound good in the club, but generally not be for those searching for depth. The most notable part of this album for me was kicking off the Kendrick v Drake been with 'Like That', even if I think Kendrick doesn't even sound that great on it. The album doesn't really do that much to stand out, though Future and Metro being club hits guys were bound to make big club hits. Special shoutout to them both looking uncomfortable as hell posing on the album cover.

Type Shit

Like That

We Still Don't Trust You – Future, Metro Boomon: 3

Trap / Rap

Back to back huh, I have to listen to another pile of mainstream trap rap. Same things apply, it's all fine, but rarely stands out enough to really engage me. I did like this one more on release, but on re-listens it ended up coming around to about the same. Music I can put on in the background and the bass will sound good enough.

SFK – Conway The Machine: 2

Griselda / Rap

Oh Conway. This guy has easily the best and most intense raps of anyone on Griselda, but this one just didn't land at all for me. It seems that without doing collab albums with proficient producers, he really tends to underdo his beats. It is probably intended to give his lyrics more space, but I think he's better when he just has something that sounds better. It seems as he shifted away from straight rapping towards trying to make a label, his artists haven't thrived and neither has he. I'm hoping his next albums he can capture more of that lyrical charm he has had up to this point, because I felt like while this wasnt really bad, hearing one of the best rappers drop an album of bars that didn't land with beats that didn't stand out is tough.

Ninja Man

Please Don’t Cry – Rapsody: 5

Women in hip hop / Rap

Rapsody seems to carve herself out of this space, being a respected rapper's rapper, but at the same time, it does seem to carve her out of the mainstream. Laylas Wisdom had some immaculate highs, Eve was a good followup focused on female inspirations. This one turns to a more personal attempt, with the overarching story line of a therapy session, which seems to be becoming a common trend, but Rapsody is able to really navigate it with incredible rapping and personal storytelling. I know some people were not very into some of the more commercial angled hits, but I think they're fine, and it makes sense given her position in the industry.

Marlanna

Faith

RICHAXXHATIAN – Mach-Hommy: 8

AOTY / Rap

Well holy shit is this ever a step up. I have never heard beats like this before. I have never hear rapping like this before, and I've listened to like 6 Mach-Hommy albums. He was already an artist I loved, and I would chuck this into one of the greatest albums of all time territory. The lyrical chops in this are insane, and you have to pay attention because there are no published lyrics anywhere. I still find new things in this album and I've been listening to it since it came out. The production is also so different from just about anything out there, really taking on its own creative space blending styles of a few of my favourite producers to create something that is more than the sum of its parts. It is a hard listen because spare one song, it really isn't commercially viable at all, but god is it so worth it to get into. Watching some people talk about this has even changed much of my life philosophy, learning about Edouard Glissant and the right to opacity, saying that other cultures don't need to be understood or measured by colonial nations who will measure them in colonial ways and harm them (here I am giving it a rating), and similarly, you may wish for certain things not to be perceived, or only be perceived on your terms. Mach obscured his lyrics and identity, and I find it to be something that I respect and absolutely love about him. This album still gets frequent front to back listens from me, and I still love every single song.

#RICHAXXHATIAN SOTY

SUR LE PONT d'AVIGNON SOTY

Note: Almost every song on here I could probably put somewhere around SOTY

Marciology – Roc Marciano: 7

Coke Rap

Roc Marciano is an artist I truly respect for having his own style of rapping and his own style of production, and rapping over his own production. The benefit of this is it creates an incredibly distinct sound and style, but the downside is that it can get kind of same-y sometimes. When that happens, it really is just up to the straight quality to shine. This is probably the best work he has put out, and the quality really does shine. When I listened to this I really felt like I might be seeing an artist I already love hit their peak, and I hope he can maintain this or evolve in the future. I even bought a ticket off of Nana to go see it, but after some confusion and me accidentally seeming like I was trying to scam him, we decided to do something else instead.

Gold Crossbow

Killin Spree

Samurai – Lupe Fiasco: 6

Lyrical Rap

Lupe these days has been in the game for quite a while, and while not and old old head through his keeping it fresh, he's hit a definite older rap unc status. He has taken probably the best path from being a superstar to creating some insane creative highs, and now a lot of his rap is a lyrical exercise, all stages interesting. He is really aging gracefully and thriving in a lane that he defines for himself. This album is inspired by Amy Winehouse, and much of the lyrics draw symmetries between his life and career and Amy's, or Amy becoming a battle rapper. It really is creative, fun, and done delicately so to not be insensitive to the legacy of Amy Winehouse as many others could have easily done if attempting to do the same. It is a pretty easy listen, can be very engaging if you focus on the lyrics, and all around pleasure to listen to.

Samurai

Cake

Why Lawd? – Nx Worries: 5

RNB / Hip Hop

This is a collab between PAAK and Knxwledge, PAAK being huge and Knxwledge being a respected yet not massive producer who has an undeniable finesse to the samples and sound he uses. My expectations for this was a very nicely sampled sexy album, and that is what I got. Despite the amazing samples and undeniable synergy between the duo, I can't help but feel like it either needed to be just a bit shorter or a bit more sonically varied to keep it more interesting over the entire run time in the album. The songs are great, but there were times where I barely noticed that songs had changed, not in a creative transition way, but in a too many songs sounding too close kind of way.

MoveOn

Battlefield

King Of The Mischievous South Vol. 2 – Denzel Curry: 6

Southern Rap / Memphis Rap

Denzel Curry has really made a name for himself in being hard hitting, creative, and incredibly consistent. I remember after our house flooded, finally getting the sound system set back up, seeing this release, and getting instantly hit with banger after banger for all the work I'd completed. It was a great reward. Despite being an album of hard hitting bangers in a very mixtape-y way, there was definitely a charm and creativity that went into every one, with enough variation in samples and musicality to really distinguish the songs. Another great album in the long list of great albums from Denzel, and I'm excited to see where he goes next.

ULTRA SHXT

HOT ONE

Songs For Saints and Sinners – Killer Mike: 4

Southern Rap

Killer Mike returns after my last billion word music themed article where I did a whole background on my listening to music bringing me up to him dropping landlord bars. This seems like it's just a re-up, adding more to some of the songs on his last album, and having some new tracks. I've warmed up again to Mike after the landlord bars because the music was great and I'm a life enjoyer, but I'm still suspicious. Not bad, but it doesn't really have great legs as a standalone project. The highs are, still, insanely high in terms of flow, lyrics, and production.

Nobody Knows

SLUMMER 4 JUNKIES

Johann Sebastian Bachlava The Doctor – Action Bronson: 5

Goofy Ah White Boy / Rap

Action Bronson is always a funny character, and he seems to return to an old form for this album, with tracks that sound much closer to a fan favourite Mr Wonderful than his recent string of animal themed projects, one of which I loved, but one of which I thought just had some very high highlights. This is much more consistent with some incredible highs. Though he does seem to reuse some lyrics across songs, he is still incredibly charismatic, funny, and the production is just fantastic.

SALVAJE

DOCTOR SOTY

Across The Tracks – Boldy James, Conductor Williams: 6

Coke Rap

Boldy James is absolutely one of my favourites, dropping album after album I love for years at a rate unlike anyone else I know. Sure, the topics are always almost exactly the same. Sure, Boldy manages to never manage to hit more than a single note with his extremely detached sounding voice. Somehow, he still manages to come through with such creative stories and wordplay, doing collab albums with some of the best producers in the game to deliver a project that is way ahead of most, in my opinion. He still puts his son on for a mediocre verse though.

Terms and Conditions

St Juliana SOTY

The Death of Slim Shady – Eminem: 1

Rap, Old Coot, Fell off, edgy 50 year old

Eminem needs to figure his life out or just shut up already. In one interview he said all he does is sit and watch the news. We can tell. Go outside. I love old rappers who have something to say and appreciate the world around them and spit their wisdom and experience, yet this fucker who used to be so good is easily one of the worst rappers in the game right now. The beats are a bit better but fuck man it's not enough. Just listen to the JID verse that opens this song and turn it off when JID is done. Opening a song with “Fuck blind people” was kind of funny though.

FUEL

Antichrist Worst song of the year contender, and I will drop the lyrics of the first verse in a code block just to drive it home

Oh, shit, fuck  
Fuckin' PC police  
Fuck

Gen Z, here they come now (now), 'bout to unload rounds (brrt)  
Pronouns (shit), got me like, "Whoa now" (whoa)  
Homie, let's slow down (chill), no need to get so wound (man)  
Ready to throw down (yo), if I mispronounce (thee, them)  
Whoops (sorry), oh wow  
Got heterosexuals crammin' 'em down our throats now (he, she, they, them)  
Like I'm gettin' snow-plowed, my humor's too low-brow (yup)  
Yeah, so there's no doubt (nope), you 'bout to get grossed out (ugh)

But fuck it though, somebody needs to come and hit the reset button  
Back to 2003 'cause how did we get stuck in  
This woke BS? I'm tryna make it regress, fuck 'em

Just RE'd Up 3 – YG: 2

West Coast / 2000s

YG returns to his roots after a string of albums not getting the critical acclaim he once had. It sounds fairly well like his earlier mixtapes, but that style is kind of dated, and it is clear that his lyrical content sits somewhere between not evolving to devolving from his 2014-2016 My Krazy Life and Still Brazy highs.

Right Now

Summertime Butch – Benny The Butcher & Black Soprano Family: 5

Griselda / Rap

Benny The Butcher again, this time with in my opinion a little less aim for commercial success, which seems to help him with his creative choices on hooks and production. His rapping is solid, his coke bars land a little bit more again, and all around, I had a much better experience.

Summer '24

The Blue Building

brat – Charli xcx: 7

Hyperpop / EDM

I don't know as much pop as I do hip hop, so I can't talk so much about Charli's story on the way here. I wrote a review about this album with a lower score, but this list is mine and thus fairly dynamic as I go, and the quality of this album is not only unreal, but I found more in some of the tracks I wasn't as big a fan of, including going through like a third SOPHIE phase from listening to 'So I'. I still don't care for 'talk talk' or 'club classics' much, but I think it's pretty undeniable after listening to this album daily for months that it is just that good. Hard hitting, personal, fun, and just an adventure and experience to listen to.

B2b SOTY

365

Note: There are many songs here that I could have as SOTY contenders

No Hands – Joey Valence and Brae: 4 (with love)

Goody Ah White Boy / Alt Hip Hop

This one caught me off guard. I wasn't listening to too much music at the time and wanted to listen to something different, clicked on a Fantano great music, saw this, and ended up finding a rather refreshing listening experience. Packed with high energy bangers from guys that seem to just like having fun, what can I say, I had a lot of fun. It comes in, is fun, then goes. Funny punch lines, fun beats, and just enough creativity to stand out. I think it could have been slightly shorter, maybe leaving a few songs for a short re-up to keep the runtime a bit more concise and fresh, but who's to really complain about something fun. Super excited to see where these fellas go next.

BUSSIT

NO HANDS

Short n' Sweet – Sabrina Carpenter: 4

Pop

Sabrina Carpenter was really everywhere, she had a big year. I listened to the album and enjoyed it, every song was broadly really good, but I still ahve trouble telling you what half of them were. I feel like it was a little too same-y, but if this is what you want, it's probably really fucking good. For me, I felt I could just pick out my favourite 2 or 3 and readily ignore most of the rest without worrying about missing too much. Still, and enjoyable listen with some great catchy songs.

Taste

Espresso

GLORIOUS – GloRilla: 5

Memphis Rap / Women in hip hop

It was pretty undeniably Glorilla's year, she was on like a 2Chains 2012 type run where she has been everywhere putting out really high quality music and features left and right. This album is packed with bangers, attitude, songs for the girlies, and overall just great music from the south. I think I've written before that the south usually symbolizes a bunch of things not that I hate, but that I would generally find less appealing than other styles through lyrical and production choices, but the south has really been on top. GLO has been doing this exact thing, but it's been super exciting the whole time. I have found so much great music through following her features, and she's good enough that she might be able to evolve and put out more projects with some creative evolution, though only time will tell. Can't wait to hear more from her.

WATCHU KNO ABOUT ME SOTY

I LUV HER

Chromakopia – Tyler, The Creator: 5

Artsy Hip Hop

Tyler has had a very interesting career evolution and this is a new spin. His last album, Call Me If You Get Lost, was a return to rapping inspired by Westside Gunn after the one before, a very artsy Igor, which could hardly be called a rap album at all. I don't know how I can really box Tyler into genres, and I broadly like that about him. He's on his creative journey, and he's clearly very talented and creative. This new album seems to blend much of the artistic styling from Igor and blend it with the harder rapping, while bringing a new sound forward. I think it's a good album, and I think it has some really touching stories, and yes, that includes 'Judge Judy'. What I do find with the album is that it sometimes strikes me as being sonically in-between. At certain moments, hard hitting stuff seems to hold back to maintain the artsiness, and the artsiness seems to hold back a bit to accommodate the harder stuff. An example of this is that the emotional peaks are often immediately followed by a bar flexing. This might be a deliberate creative choice, deliberately putting up a wall at those intimate moments, but it still does do exactly that. Additionally, when Igor dropped I really felt like Tyler was the best music possible for someone going through a high school break-up, which I personally just didn't care for thematically. This album does deal with similar themes but does also deal with more hard hitting angles of it, like exes / flings dying. Maybe this slowly does indicate him moving towards a new phase. I think this album is good enough to put Tyler in a spot of being one of the most consistent and interesting musicians we have right now.

Rah Tah Tah

Tomorrow

Megan Act 2 – Megan Thee Stallion: 5

Note: This stands as a total review for both acts, I don't care to put the effort in to separate them

Southern Rap / Women in hip hop

I have really enjoyed Megan's music for quite a long time, first discovering her when she dropped 'Realer' in the lead-up to Fever, and that song stayed on repeat for a long time. She has continued to be a great rapper, and now seems to be in an era where shes starting to just go and do what she wants, with more releases coming as collabs with RM from South Korea, Spiritbox for a rap metal song, and using samples like 'Like a G6' for 'Like a Freak' and 'Goodies' by Ciara for 'Roc Steady'. It makes for an interesting and varied selection still based on her usual hard hitting raps that I know and love her for. I had a lot of fun with this album, and for being the length it is (because it is just 2 albums), I stayed way more entertained for the runtime than I expected.

Roc Steady

TYG

Alligator Bites Never Heal: Doechii: 4

Women in hip hop / Alt Rap

Doechii is interesting because all I know is that she apparently was a kind of tik tok / social media rapper, but I'm not plugged into that scene enough to know anything about it. All I know is that this is her breakout album and it's really impressive. I can see some of the roots in that I do find some of the songs to be a little sound-bitey and quirky, but still, her rapping is on point, it is fun, creative, and has the energy and confidence of someone that knows what they're doing. My only complaint is that through some of the quirkiness I find when I listen to one song I love it, but the album as a whole feels like it comes out as being a bit less than the sum of all its parts. She's still early in her career, though, and has a lot of time and clearly more than enough talent and creativity to evolve in whatever way she decides.

STANKA POOH

NISSAN ALTIMA

You Only Live 1nce – Freddie Gibbs: 4

Coke Rap

Freddie has had an interesting journey to get where he is, having multiple absolutely incredibly collab albums through Pinata, Alfredo, and Bandana. From here, he signed a label deal to expand on his image and started working with groups of producers, but it seems that when he gets to pick his own production, similar to Benny The Butcher, the result comes out as far less interesting. Soul Sold Separately still had some incredible peaks through songs like 'Dark Hearted' that just cut through to the soul as good as any coke rap song can, so I was interested in seeing what he would do with another album in the same vein, which came as a surprise drop. This one came out, named as a followup to his 2017 album You Only Live 2wice and was thematically overall very similar to Soul Sold Separately , but seemed to just miss out on the amount of highs. Freddie is still an incredible rapper and explores a lot of personal discovery and his interactions with fame, but he could have surely used some more interesting production to make the project as a while shine more.

Origami

On The Set

Soul Burger – Ab-Soul: 2

Hip Hop / Rap

I can't lie to you, I have listened to this album 3 times, and I always like it until I realize I can't remember a thing about it. Being anti-memetic surely isn't a good sign for an album, especially with its producer and feature list, but I at least know it has one song that has the same sample as 'How Much a Dollar Cost' by Kendrick Lamar (They are both from Top Dawg Entertainment) that is a really good listen.

Righteous Man

Still Praying – Westside Gunn: 6

Griselda / Coke Rap

Westside Gunn back at it again, one of the main 3 Griselda members and probably the one with the best connections and ear for beats, which he uses to his advantage by making albums that sound bright and luxurious, and he generally packs them with features to make up for some of his inconsistent rapping. This album does put him more center, but it is him doing what he does at his best. The beats are interesting, he raps well, and puts together a project that maintains being interesting the entire time. DJ Drama can shut up on all these album but I've gotten better at tuning it out.

Runway Pieces at the Last Supper

Still Praying <– Griselda Posse Cut

300 Worms – JAEGER: 4

IDK the genre mang

This was a fun one because despite having a solid handful of friends release music, this might be the most complete feeling album release. It's incredibly angsty and muddy, but hits a really nice spot and keeps its quality throughout the entire album. This was a really refreshing switchup and got me out of a rut where I was getting sick of listening to new albums for a bit, which was also a nice feeling. Seeing it live twice, it really changes the effect of listening to it, it gives the atmosphere much more air and lets you physically feel the music. For digital listening, I tend to like the songs that have more higher pitched melody.

300 Worms

Gut

GNX – Kendrick Lamar: 5

West Coast Hip Hop / Rap

Kendrick Lamar is back after the Drake Beef with a new surprise drop. Hearing the snippet at the start of the 'Not Like Us' music video had me really excited for a really west coast banger Kendrick album, because god that hook was stuck in my head. A song leaked (likely released to generate hype because samples couldn't clear or something) called 'Let The Party Die' and it was also incredible. The album came out and naturally took the world by storm. The album for me is a near perfect split down the middle between tracks that are absolutely incredible and tracks that left me wanting more for one reason or another, but we got some real west coast bangers from Kendrick which is an absolute blast. To me, the album feels much like a mixtape of Kendrick exploring west coast music, with 'Reincarnated' being a 2Pac song in flow and production and Hey Now being a clear Drakeo The Ruler type song. I think a lot of my opinion on this album will be dictated by how long it takes for him to drop another. This is an insane mixtape to tide fans over for another release, but if it is a full album that will take years to follow up on, I think I can say it was an inconsistent album.

Heart Part 6 SOTY

Reincarnated SOTY

The Bricktionary – Boldy James, Harry Fraud: 4

Coke Rap

Boldy back at it again, this time with an album that I didn't exactly feel at first. Part of the magic of Boldy is that he has these bright and elegant beats that contrast with his extremely low-key delivery, yet match his storytelling. This is an album that plays things slower, which can really make things seem like they slow to a crawl. Match that with how Harry Fraud is more trap inspired and can be inconsistent, and I was worried going in. Eventually hit it with a more out loud sound system and really got into it. Despite the slower pace, the beats are luxurious though a bit darker than usual, and spare a couple songs where Boldy seems like he's half asleep, it's another great joint.

Pressin' My Bunk

Fish Grease

Access All Areas – FLO: 6

Pop

I don't dive into pop much, but discovered this one because it had a Glorilla feature and decided to give it a spin. I got really into this one through the whole listen. These songs are slick, sexy, catchy and punchy in a way that got almost all of these songs stuck in my head at one point or another. I think some of the more hip hop inspired verses could use a little more work, and I'd say there are a couple songs where I would have made them bonus tracks or something to keep the specific feel of the album consistent through the entire record.

Walk Like This

Caught Up SOTY

Trustworthy Interlude I generally don't include 3 but I wanted to include this as not a full song. Being a fella who's parents are divorced and has been cheated on this song really hits in an incredibly personal way. SOTY

Personification – Maxo Kream: 5

Southern Rap / The Guy Loves Being A Crip

Maxo has had a pretty interesting career to say the least with the cases and the like, but always emerges as a particularly interesting rapper with a big personality that always drops some quality music. He gets personal at times, then will say some of the most in your face hilarious criminal shit in the next song, but he always comes in with energy. He seems to just have a knack for it.

Cracc Era

Walk By Faith

Take Care – BigXThaPlug: 4

Texas Rap

I knew of BigX because he had a very distinct voice and some snippets that popped up in memes, and I rather enjoyed it. Voices that stand out in a good way are always good and refreshing. The production is upbeat and fun, as well as pretty distinct in a way that works well. I think that BigX is a solid rapper, but his lyrical content is pretty same-y, which doesn't help when the production, albeit fun, is the same. Song to song I really do feel like you can pick your favourite few and then not have to worry much about the rest. Only time will tell if he's able to evolve past this, because he does have a big wave right now and for his voice and attitude alone I know he can do more.

Law & Order

The Largest

Top Albums:

1. RICHAXXHATIAN – Mach-Hommy
2. brat – Charli xcx
3. Marciology – Roc Marciano
4. Across The Tracks – Boldy James, Conductor Williams
5. Access All Areas – FLO

Changes for next year

• Make a minimally more data entry focused outline
  • Allow sorting by date, score
  • I plan on using a Dataview plugin for this
• Keep track of best songs
  • I want to keep a list of all my favourite songs of the year
• Listen to more genres
  • Listening to new genres kept it exciting
  • I want to listen to more music that friends recommend too

I have followed the rise of all these artists but I've been most impressed by the rise of Amaarae. Artists from Ghana barely make it to where she is but even less manage to stay in the limelight for as long as she has. Combined with truly incredible lyrics and production, I don't know if there are more than 5 artists from Ghana I like more than Amaarae. I can confidently say I've been listening to her music from the very beginning and she is undoubtedly a big influence in my music.

I started making music in the early 2010s (first with my best friend Henry Richardson, then in a band in high school and now solo). These years were a golden age for hip-hop in Ghana. The popularity of Twitter and widespread access to the internet gave rise to a burgeoning underground hip-hop scene made up of older teenagers and young adults. These artists took most of their inspiration from western acts as opposed to African musicians and as such the subject matter of the music shifted from light-hearted, folksy to something darker and metaphoric. There was definitely a downside to this, as most artists chose to abandon African ways storytelling tendencies entirely in favour of something that would appeal more to the big boys in Newark.

The scene was intricately tied to Twitter. The social media site blew up relatively early in Ghana (I created my account in August 2011) and the first few hundred users garnered thousands of followers quickly by doing regular Twitter shit: dunking on people. Maybe this is a symptom of my jealousy in how popular these accounts were, but some of these guys would talk such a big game on Twitter and I'd see them in church youth service acting all bashful and shit. No energy in the house of the Lord I guess.

My favourite artists from this era were a duo who went by Cruk'dStr8. They would collaborate with a range of artists in Ghana and the States and it was some of the best music I'd heard in a long long time. First making a name for themselves by dropping singles on Friday sampling popular songs (hip-hop fans might see the influence from Kanye West's GOOD Friday drops) and putting Ghanaian rappers on them. These drops were huge, and got 1000s of listens per post (if you don't get how big a deal this is, you just weren't there) and the group would the social media site to drop hints of an upcoming album.

My best friend, Henry, and I would listen to these drops religiously and I (admittedly) would bite from them here and there for our own little rap group in primary school: Royal Rappers. A lot of people are embarrassed by their rap stories in middle school, but not I. That shit was awesome. We started with just banging on desks with 5 or 6 people around and we ended with a performance in front of the whole school. Our first song, We Need A Beat, was so popular that it spawned another rap group in our class and they hit back with a diss, Beat Without A Bass. We were lucky the rapping was trash because their chorus was way better and title of the song alone almost cleared us... but this is a story for another time.

On February 2nd, 2013, Cruk'dStr8 dropped the album, Heliotrope. God. What a project. I didn't realize as an artist, you were allowed to do what they did on that album. Themes of travelling through Dante's inferno to find a missing piece of yourself, combined with production that was years ahead of what anyone else was attempting to do, and the bars. THE BARS. I am tempted to put some of my favourite lines here but I don't think it matters now. If you're curious here is a Genius link to all the album. I downloaded a copy of Heliotrope from DatPiff and I've had it on every hard drive I owned until last year, when I accidentally deleted my personal copy. Very few moments in my life have affected me on a personal level. Even to this day I get very sad thinking about it.

My dear reader, you might wonder why I don't just go to Spotify or Apple Music. Unfortunately Heliotrope, by Cruk'dStr8 is now lost media. The album has been scrubbed off the internet and now the only way to even know it existed at some point is Cruk'dStr8's Twitter page. I found a Hulkshare link (from a reply on that twitter page) but only 1 of the songs on there is actually playable (Dead Fantasy | Kizzy Kane). So the copy I deleted might have been the last copy. Like me, you might be wondering why the group would do this despite their success.

Well after Heliotrope, the group would go dark. Nothing to be heard from the core duo, but affiliated acts like Shabazz, Quesi B, and BrainyBeatz would keep going. By 2016 however, Cruk'dStr8 and affiliated acts would all stop making music. But in November 2017 I saw something strange. A new act from Ghana had dropped an incredible album and it was turning heads. I listened to it a few times and while the music was incredible I couldn't shake the feeling that I've heard this before. Now I have taken care to withhold the names of the core duo of Cruk'dStr8 , because maybe someone smarter than me would make the connection immediately. Their names were ERA and RAE.

Passionfruit Summers is the debut album from Ghanaian-American singer, songwriter Amaarae. If you knew about Cruk'dStr8 and Heliotrope, the sound is all there. Sonically it's extremely polished and the production quality was incredible. I couldn't believe it. One of my favourite Ghanaian musicians dropped a commercial tape, and its highly acclaimed! This album came with a new sounds and techniques that were slowly bubbling in the underground hip-hop and hip-life scene in Nigeria, a genre now known as alté. This was similar to what Cruk'dStr8 were doing a few years back but with a clear distinction and better execution. You see while Cruk'dStr8's sound was African inspired but clearly built on top off American hip-hop tendencies, alté music is built on top of hip-life tendencies with American style sprinkled here and there.

At this point I still had my copy of Heliotrope but I did a quick search online and that's when I realized it was all gone. As a matter of fact, Cruk'dStr8 is not mentioned anywhere by Amaarae as where she got her start. It's almost as if she doesn't want to be associated with that anymore. Few years ago, Moliy Music (co-writer and performer of Sad Girlz Luv Money) took to Twitter to accuse Amaarae of not sharing proceeds with her. This didn't seem to go anywhere and was forgotten about quickly, but I couldn't help but think of Cruk'dStr8 and ERA.

I've been keeping up with Amaarae partially because I want to see her rise to fame in first person but also I really want her to say something about Cruk'dStr8. Why delete the old music? What happened to ERA? What happened to Cruk'dStr8? I'm still not done looking for this tape. My plan is to reach out to former Cruk'dStr8 affiliates and hope they can send me a copy and/or explain what happened between 2014 and 2017.

Anyway here is a version of FunkyFlavaDopeShit posted on Quesi B's SoundCloud page: https://soundcloud.com/otis_7/crukdstr8-funkyflavadopeshit

The Q3 version of this roundup was sitting in the archives and never got uploaded. As a (not-so) special treat, here is my round up for the entire second half of 2024. Please enjoy the read for the hater behaviour, but sadly I don't have any new winners to suggest this time around

Stats breakdown from July – December 2024

• Total books read: ~5
• Reading mediums: 4 audiobooks & 1 combination of physical & audiobook
• Time spent reading: ~24.5 hours

Books Read + Reviews

Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman Medium: audiobook

I usually write these once I finish the book but I need to note my thoughts right now as I finished the first third on the Via Rail to Montréal.

I – – Listen, I've seen the movie which gave me secondhand embarrassment then but uhh… The book is something else. Elio is horrendously HORRENDOUSLY down bad for Oliver. I'm listening to this on the train like 😶😳🫣 I may be able to make better sense of my thoughts later but

1. I'm astonished by everything Elio projects onto Oliver, like he is this master of social interactions and understanding others better than themselves. I guess this is maybe meant to be part of the perspective he would have as a 17-year old idolizing an older man but I think he's giving him entirely too much credit. He's literally just some guy.
2. Knowing that they get together later, the 17 vs 24 year old thing is extra EXTRA weird now that I myself am 24 (at time of writing). Oliver, he is literally a child. What the hell do you want with him? Leave him alone!!
3. Elio is actually unhinged and like past the point of usual yearning, agony & shame I would think.

Okay we're at the peach scene and it's so much more uncomfortable to listen to the book version 😖

My hold lapsed so I’m revisiting this again a month later to finish it. And I’m regretting it lol. More uncomfortable scenes and it's just getting a bit too pretentious for me.

Okay I powered through and finished it. I cannot in good conscience recommend this. Others may like it but I think I could have lived with just having seen the movie adaptation (which at least you get to see the beautiful Italian views and the great soundtrack). But I think Elio's inner monologue was just a bit too unhinged and pretentious to me.

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro Medium: Audiobook

Hmm… I'm not really sure what to say about this one. I think it was meant to be a heartfelt story about AI but it felt kind of meandering at times and too vague about the setting and circumstances. I enjoyed the childlike, egoless perspective of the narrator but it did make the novel overall feel like it was written by an elementary school student. Am I saying it's bad? No. It literally won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Did I feel any type of way about it? Also no.

I think the points and takeaways of this book are not so profound, especially for it having been published in 2021. There was one point where I thought things were going to take an interesting turn but it didn't amount to much. Personally, I would skip this one.

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy Medium: Audiobook

This memoir wasn't quite what I expected, which is neither good nor bad. Despite the initial press buzz on the cheeky book name, and the literal review on the book cover that this was “Impressively funny”, I did not find much humour in this book (not even the dark kind). More than anything, I felt sad and sorry for Jeanette McCurdy and the various things she went through (additional to the Nickelodeon/Dan Schneider stuff). If you are curious about reading this, I would consult the content warnings first. While I didn't find the content triggering, it definitely could be for some.

Obviously, it's a memoir about a very public life but I feel like the few press interviews I saw when it come out covered/spoiled the big events and themes of the book. For that reason, I'm not sure it's worth the read? Idk I feel conflicted. If you're curious to know the details, you could probably read an article instead. On the bright side, it was nice to hear that she and Miranda Cosgrove had an actual friendship for many years, even after iCarly ended.

The Assassination of Fred Hampton by Jeffrey Haas Medium: Audiobook

I was still kind of in a book slump when I was reading this but thankfully it was a welcome change. I appreciated being able to learn more about Fred Hampton, the Black Panthers and their ideology, the FBIs involvement in the assassination + their other attempts to dismantle or thwart the civil rights movement. I watched Judas and the Black Messiah (2021) in the midst of reading this and it helped me do a better job of organizing the different people involved. It got a bit overwhelming at times to manage all the names + legal events when listening via audiobook.

Additionally, I would have preferred if Jeff Haas centred himself less in the telling of these events. It was kinda whiplash-inducing when he would drop in some details about who he was dating at that time and just get back to talking about the court case.

Happy Place by Emily Henry Medium: Physical (Kaitlyn’s copy) + Audiobook

Although I finished this book at the end of the year, I started reading the copy Kaitlyn lent me back in April. Because I read it sporadically across the months, I don't have the clearest memory of everything. This was also the only true romance book I read in 2024.

I really loved the cozy vibes of the costal town setting and the friendship in this book. Emily Henry always excels in setting the vibe that way. In truth, I think I liked the friendships in this book quite a bit more than the romantic relationship between the main characters. The miscommunication trope was kind of annoying too and the reconciliation didn't come together in the best way in my opinion. But the friendships and the way certain characters talked about their upbringings resonated with me most. I also quite liked the passage where she describes the meditative process of pottery wheel throwing. All in all, a nice little read to close out the year.

And now... the Round Up to the Round Up!

My Top 3 Reads of the Year: Dune, Cultish, Everything I Know About Love

Dishonourable Mentions: Call Me By Your Name, Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Klara and The Sun + a handful of books I DNF'd

And as always, thanks for reading if you got this far!

Introduction

In his book on the subject, Cal Newport defines Digital Minimalism as “a philosophy of technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value, and then happily miss out on everything else” (Newport, 2019). The key principles of this approach are:

1. Value Alignment - appraising each technology you keep in your life based on its utility and alignment with your values. Ideally, only engaging with digital tools that meaningfully enhance your life.
2. Optimization - determining how you will use a particular technology (i.e. boundaries, limitations, etc).
3. Intentionality - prioritizing active and purposeful use of technology over passive content consumption.

To set yourself on the metaphorical road to recovery, Newport prescribes what he calls a Digital Declutter. It involves taking a 30-day break from all optional technologies to reset habits and gain clarity on how technology affects your life. This is not simply a “digital detox”, but a structured exercise to evaluate and rebuild your digital habits intentionally. The objective is not to reject technology outright but to reclaim autonomy and align digital usage with personal priorities.

1. Step Back: Identify and temporarily remove all optional technologies for 30 days. This might include social media, entertainment apps, and even certain communication tools, depending on your personal needs and goals.
2. Rewire: During the 30 days (and beyond), you also need to engage in some key practices & behaviours to bolster this exercise and enable it to be sustainable long-term.
   • Embrace Solitude - when you are spending time alone with your own mind, you are free from the input of others. As a result, you are then using this time for self-reflection or thinking through things. This boredom often leads to creativity.

   • Meaningful Connection/Conversation - prioritizing talking/calling and face-to-face connections with others as opposed to likes or comments on a social media platform.
     • Newport suggests creating or identifying “office hours” where you regularly open up time to connect with others. For example, taking advantage of the downtime in your daily commute and encouraging family & friends to call you during that time. Alternatively, having a routine where you’re always at a certain coffee shop at a certain time on a certain day of the week and friends can find you there (sound familiar? 😉).
   • High-Quality Leisure
     • Honing Your Craft - identifying a “craft” you want to get good at. You convert the time and energy spent on passive consumption to high-quality leisure that is ultimately more energizing and validating (ex. making something tangible with your hands). This doesn’t have to be an art-focused craft.

     • Super-Charged Socializing - participating in activities that require real-world, structured, social interactions where the structure takes the pressure off how you will socialize. My personal example would be my dance classes each week.
3. Reintroduce Selectively: After the declutter, carefully reintroduce only those technologies that add substantial value to your life and define clear boundaries for their use.

Methods

In July, I somewhat covertly underwent a digital declutter experiment of my own. I elected not to talk about exactly what I was doing in order to focus on the journey myself with no outside input. Additionally, I wanted to set up a sort of control and not have others act differently to accommodate my choice.

For context, I work a predominantly remote job in tech where I stare at a screen for roughly 8hrs a day. As a result, I am seldom compelled to then spend time on my personal laptop or watch TV after work. The little screen in my hand is another story, however. Naturally, my goals for this digital declutter were focused on my phone use. Truthfully, I should have done a better job noting down what I gave up as I cannot recall everything now months later. Regardless, my reflections will be on the key players and not the forgettable apps I removed.

Notable apps I had that I got rid of: YouTube, Facebook, Pinterest, Snapchat, TikTok

The boundaries I set around their use: When I occasionally needed to use the first three, I could access them through a web browser/on my laptop. The others were to remain off of my phone for the 30 days.

Results

During the duration of this experiment, some interesting results were observed. For starters, there were no logins to Pinterest the entire month, not even on my laptop! Facebook, however, was redownloaded a few times for dance-related communications that I would have otherwise missed as I do not have an Instagram account. In the spirit of full transparency, I did fall into scrolling a few times when I had it reinstalled for brief periods.

Regrettably, I wasn’t able to capture great stats on the results of this experiment. iPhone’s Screen Time tracker unfortunately has many blindspots when it comes to usage data that I did not realize until late in the game. Most notably, if you uninstall an application, the usage data related to it from previous weeks also gets wiped and provides an inaccurate record of how much time was spent on the app. Additionally, iPhone only stores the past month’s screen time. Thankfully I took some screenshots as I went. However, I was unable to compare my results to a broader time range to assess how much things had changed from my average behaviour in the past.

Putting the data tracking issues aside, I did observe a significant drop in daily screen time of about 34% in the first week. Additionally, the number of times I picked up my phone kept decreasing week over week. There was no discernable difference in sleep quality, duration, or schedule according to my Fitbit data. However, I did not set a boundary on before-bed phone usage during this experiment. While I wasn’t scrolling or watching content before bed, I had a lot of things to sort through or plan in July. I often needed to spend some time before bed looking things up (Chrome, Google Calendar, etc) to quell the swirling thoughts in my head so I could sleep.

Post 30-Day Declutter

I am pleased to share that most things have remained the same pertaining to my technology use, but there have definitely been pitfalls. I have not reinstalled YouTube, Pinterest, or Snapchat since. I have also taken additional measures on the phone browser version of YouTube (that I check at most once a month) to make it even less appealing and addicting. I have logged onto Pinterest via my laptop only a handful of times since then. Recently, I even deleted my Snapchat account entirely after months of not having been active on it.

I have, however, fallen victim to Facebook and TikTok scrolling syndrome several times since August when the digital declutter ended. I am in a cycle of reinstall and uninstall with these two apps, but I am at least curbing the habit by not having them on my phone the majority of the time. I’m planning to be better about it and set better boundaries and systems.

Discussion

Coming out of this experiment, there were a handful of personal positives and takeaways that stood out to me. Firstly, and most obviously, not being served up sludge content on an infinite scroll allowed me not to fall into a massive timesink. The few times I did get presented with it, I did not feel the same addictive pull and was able to resurface much quicker than I usually would. It was interesting to me how the urge to scroll was the strongest when I was looking for a coping mechanism. Some café users may recall that I suffered a serious burn on my leg in July. After the incident, I just wanted to scroll so that I could self-soothe and take my mind off the pain. It made me stop and reflect on how passive media consumption has become a normalized response to tune out unpleasant feelings or experiences, as well as the escapism of it all.

Secondly, this experiment affirmed that I don’t have to search or validate everything I am doing. Typically, I would have flocked to Pinterest to seek inspiration for my outfit when I was going to my first-ever Renaissance Faire; or to TikTok/YouTube to get some ideas on what to do for my travel plans that month. I got the chance to be more creative about how I approached situations like this, more confident in my own decisions without external input, and just more comfortable with the overall not-knowing as the Type A person I am. Also, it was just really humbling have to Google these things and then go watch a YouTube video at a maximum of 480p on my Chrome browser app. It made me question if it was even worth searching up.

The third, and also obvious but now affirmed takeaway, was that being unaware of all the new trends dulled the consumerist pull. It’s no surprise just how much product peddling happens on social platforms, especially Tiktok, but it’s easy to become desensitized to it with just how ubiquitous it is. When you distance yourself from it a bit, it’s also hard to fathom just how many content creators exist out there to post the same type of consumerist content in the name of selling an aesthetic or a lifestyle. Like surely we don’t need this many, and it’s all so pointless anyway...

Criticisms

While this has been an eye-opening experience and one I recommend to everyone, I have a few criticisms based on what I observed. Firstly, I did not feel as much creative or action-inspiring boredom from this declutter as when I have my Unplugged Days. Once a week for Unplugged Days, I put my phone in a drawer and work off a paper to-do list of things I want to get done that do not involve a phone or computer. Personally, I find that more effective because I am not aimlessly bored and I have structure through the menu of things I can do. In some measure, this does link back to what Newport says about having a game plan for the time that will be freed up.

Secondly, I observed that in my personal life, it’s easy to become disconnected to current events. I’m not really on social media and I am seldom tuning into TV or radio news. Not being constantly bombarded with news stories is better for your mental state overall, but it overlaps with the privilege to opt out of injustice happening in the world. As a result, you have to be more intentional to seek out (ideally quality) sources of information and ways of staying informed. This is an area that I’m still trying to sort out for myself.

Lastly, there is potential for isolating behaviours or narrowing of your social sphere. Newport shares in his book that most people cite a fear of being disconnected when removing optional social media from their lives. It’s a valid concern based on how our society has previously put these applications on a pedestal and made it seem like they are the pinnacle of connectivity. When you pull back the curtains, you see how shallow and superficial most of these friendships are. Speaking from the experience of not having most social media accounts for the last few years, it has created a funnel where only the most meaningful and quality friendships have remained active in my life. However, not being plugged into the digital realm where social interactions happen and plans are sometimes made can keep your social circle small and stagnant. To overcome this, there has to be more involved effort to seek out events or make new friends. This ultimately is a good behaviour to reinforce but it requires more will, planning, and intentionality to combat the various obstacles and deterrents.

Conclusion

In summation, I would recommend Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism and the 30-day Digital Declutter to any and all that are the slightest bit curious. I see it being more impactful and sustainable to do this declutter and boundary-setting around technology use, rather than going for more acute measures. I, myself, had considered getting a dumb phone and at this point, I don’t feel the need to do that so long as I work through what my technology use rules are and slowly work towards bringing my screen time down more. In preparation for 2025, I have been looking into how I can optimize my phone to help support these goals. I have linked a video on that, and some other resources that inspired this article in the section below.

References & Resources

• Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport
• Video summary of some of the book: https://youtu.be/sJdZ7kmA2QQ?feature=shared
• Perks of Living w/o Social Media by Newport: https://youtu.be/m6AF_aFuD8w?feature=shared
• YT Video on how to make your smartphone into a dumbphone: https://youtu.be/7jVb1lLniEw?si=U02m8KRwUL-gVglS

Using Google Takeout, you can export your Google data.

I use this specifically to export just my YouTube watch history.

I frequently find myself in situations where I am doing data science on my own activity history because some brainworm tells me “hey I'd like to revisit this thing I once visited” even though it was years ago and it will be a pain in the ass to find it again.

A screenshot of me, 6 years ago, posting on Discord a YouTube link to a video and lamenting that I cannot find another meme video which uses this video as source material – https://youtu.be/ZKxhI4I5kq8

To export your YouTube history as JSON, follow these steps.

1. Visit https://takeout.google.com/
2. Top right, profile switcher, switch to your brand account (my YouTube account is separate from my Google account)
3. Deselect all
4. Scroll to the bottom, YouTube > Enable
5. “Multiple formats” > switch to JSON
6. “All YouTube data included” > Deselect all, check history
7. Next step > File type=.zip, File size=50gb
8. Create export

Congrats. You now have, locally, slice of your watch history, instead of being beholden to the YouTube interface which is rarely sufficient for querying purposes.

What does the data look like?

{
  "header": "YouTube",
  "title": "Watched The monkey is furiously knocking at the door - Обезьяна неистово стучит в дверь - 猴子是疯狂地在敲门",
  "titleUrl": "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v\u003d3-_OIDRL91c",
  "subtitles": [{
    "name": "Seen that! Видал, чо!",
    "url": "https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnEelfUE8SE_rZtwaRzUzyQ"
  }],
  "time": "2020-04-19T03:08:27.981Z",
  "products": ["YouTube"],
  "activityControls": ["YouTube watch history"]
},
{
  "header": "YouTube",
  "title": "Watched https://www.youtube.com/watch?v\u003dnmcuoaqdJ9w",
  "titleUrl": "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v\u003dnmcuoaqdJ9w",
  "time": "2020-04-17T18:22:47.173Z",
  "products": ["YouTube"],
  "activityControls": ["YouTube watch history"]
}

The URL and the timestamp are present. Great!

The video title is inconsistently present. Less great!

This helpful StackOverflow comment tells us that we can use the following YouTube endpoint to get some metadata

// https://www.youtube.com/oembed?url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmcuoaqdJ9w
{
    "title": "Weird Al SHREDS!!!",
    "author_name": "alyankovic",
    "author_url": "https://www.youtube.com/@alyankovic",
    "type": "video",
    "height": 113,
    "width": 200,
    "version": "1.0",
    "provider_name": "YouTube",
    "provider_url": "https://www.youtube.com/",
    "thumbnail_height": 360,
    "thumbnail_width": 480,
    "thumbnail_url": "https://i.ytimg.com/vi/nmcuoaqdJ9w/hqdefault.jpg",
    "html": "<iframe width=\"200\" height=\"113\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/nmcuoaqdJ9w?feature=oembed%5C#34; frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen title=\"Weird Al SHREDS!!!\"></iframe>"
}

So I guess that would be a fairly straightforward way to enrich the data.

That's not what I'm deep in right now though.

The Takeout service responds in a matter of minutes when we have scoped the export to just our YouTube watch history and nothing else.

It is still a manual process and will quickly become outdated given that I frequently watch videos.

I find myself having multiple exports, each with a different slice of my history.

To free up disk space, is it truly safe to simply delete the oldest export?

Using ChatGPT (conversation link), I whipped up a quick validation program that takes the search and watch history json files from the latest export and an older export to check some assumptions.

1. The newest export MUST contain every entry in the older export.
2. The newest export MUST NOT contain an entry older than the newest entry in the older export which is not also present in the older export.

I didn't get to number 2 because number 1 was exceedingly disproven.

THERE IS MISSING DATA BETWEEN EXPORTS.

The exports are from 2024-10-30 and 2024-12-07.

Summary: 993 total missing entries in the Watch History file.
Summary: 42 total missing entries in the Search History file.

This is not surprising, just disappointing.

Thankfully, using ChatGPT I was able to build a tool to identify the problem quite easily.

Banana Loof – NSA Releases Internal 1982 Lecture by Computing Pioneer Rear Admiral Grace Hopper

00:08:30

“No work, no research has been done on the value of information. We've completely failed to look at it. And yet it's going to make a tremendous difference in how we run our computer systems of the future. Because if there are two things that are dead sure, I don't even have to call them predictions. One is that the amount of data and the amount of information will continue to increase, and it's more than linear. And the other is the demand for instant access to that information will increase, and those two are in conflict. We've got to know something about the value of the information being processed. Everybody wants their information online.”

I think about that video a lot.

My browser extension + local server tool, Onboarder, lets me take notes in a text area it adds below the video player. The notes then get synced to a plaintext file on the disk.

https://github.com/TeamDman/Onboarder

I can use ripgrep to search through my notes incredibly efficiently.

I also made a program that lets me easily capture my system audio output to a .wav file, toggled on and off by hitting enter in the terminal.

https://github.com/TeamDman/audio-capture.git

I also have WhisperX running, which can transcribe a 1 hour video in 1 minte with incredible fidelity.

https://github.com/TeamDman/voice2text

The process of finding that Grace Hopper video, capturing her saying that sentence, and transcribing it was a collaboration between several disjoint tools I have added to my arsenal.

We've all heard of Big Data.

I want my own Big Data that works for me.

Storage is cheap, and I want a copy of all my data so that when I say “computer, find me the meme from within the last 4 years matching XYZ criteria” it can do so.

The problem with building a grandiose system like this is not the work that it will take, but the charting of the course.

How do I want to structure the data so that all these tools can play nice together?

The answer is probably Postgres.

It has support for vector embeddings, json columns, and generally all the stuff I'd need to proceed.

However, not everything should/can live in the database.

I should probably get building, or at least go to bed lol

When I say that I've become enamored with “violence”, I mean, um, violence. The turbulent jostle of hundreds of bodies: all sweaty, though not all are sweating. The flight of elbows and full body tackles, executed in the name of mutual love. Love: love for the music of the moment, audible through decorations of SCREAMED OFF-TUNE LYRICS from the liquid crowd. Lyrics; coupled with pirouettes, line dancing, rowing, circles of running concertgoers, or maybe just a great amount of collision. When I say that I’ve become enamored with “violence”, I’m saying that I fucking love the mosh pit.

Pits are primal. In the anonymity of a crowd, I can let go of inhibition. I happily relinquish my identity, succumbing to the flow of others. As my neighbors jump and shove, the futility in any kind of resistance emerges. I revert to operating on half survival instinct, half pure electricity of the moment. Limbs revel; eyes open and close as the rest of this body collides with other bodies. A brawl between no opponents. Everybody wins.

At what other moments in life do you ever get to engage so freely in movement? Sports are limited by rules. Martial arts require control and refinement; dance can feel bound by social rules. Violent activity only surfaces in the everyday as remote situations of fear, anger, or extreme excitement; and how often does the average person experience these emotions? Not often. (Ideally.)

But in the pit, savagery is everywhere. And so the pit becomes a special place. A butcher's block, designed to reduce you to your animalism.

Animalism. Our roots. Each concert I attend convinces me that the most humanly valuable experiences are those that evoke any kind of animalistic primality out of us, because they are freeing.

I do not live freely. I find that I have walked much of life guided by inhibitions and fears of mistakes, harm, and pain. Worried of displeasing others, I would constantly prune my behavior and words, holing myself further into a tunnel of a character to meet some sort of model me that never needed to exist. In my day-to-day life, this causes suffering. I wish to live authentically.

In the pit, though, nobody cares about whether or not I am seemingly intelligent, charming, agreeable, insightful, or me. I can let go and be, and I do so knowing everyone around me will accept me with unconditional love. At the end of the day, that’s the pit. A rippling body of love.

I recently found myself at an IDLES show, an elbow slamming into my chin as I tried to sing the same song as my unintentional assailant. As the welcome impact subsided, I noticed the joy around me, and realized that I desperately wanted this same relentless harmony in my everyday life. I want to show myself and be accepted for that, leaving no room for hesitance towards pain. I want the me in the pit to be outside of the pit too. I want her to be unafraid as she collides with others and as others clash with her.

I want to love freely. After all, what else do I have?

The premise was really interesting; a company offers a service where you can inject yourself with a serum to create a “better” version of yourself. You are the matrix, they are the other. It's not a clone, it's basically just sprouting another human being out of you. You do not share the other's memory (and them yours), and yet only one of you can be conscious at a time. There are rules:

• You/Your other must feed your other/its matrix with IV while unconscious
• Your other must stabilize every day, which involves the other extracting some cerebrospinal fluid out of you (the matrix) and injecting it to themselves
• You must switch every 7 days, no exceptions
• Remember you are one

Our protagonist, Elisabeth, goes through with this procedure. Sue is born. The movie explores the dynamic between Sue and Elisabeth. The cinematography is where this movie really shines in my opinion, it is original and striking without every feeling too needlessly artsy. There were a ton of interesting shots, or ways the camera was used, positioned, or how the movement/lack of it was used. While being overall consistent for the movie, the cinematography was very noticeably different when following Elisabeth or Sue. While Elisabeth's was very sober, plain almost minimalist for the most part, Sue's was hectic, glamourous with very, very close-up shots.

The sound design was also very claustrophobic in a way, with a lot of low pass filter creating an effect of being underwater, while having some bodily sounds being unfiltered. This ties in to the body horror part of the movie. There are a bunch of disgusting sounds in there.

Another part of the body horror was nudity. There was so much ass. My notes for this portion of the review are simply “ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass [...]“. This is when Sue is on-screen, and she is extremely sexualised, not only by the movie, but by the entertainment industry, which plays an important part in the story. The other side of body horror comes in during the stabilizing requirements, and during other scenes that I cannot spoil. Most of it is during the last 20min of the film, which are so wild I would never in a million years predicted it.

The script is the weakest part of this movie in my opinion, with glaring plot holes and overall not being airtight, never giving you the “wow that is so clever” feeling from seeing something unfolding. It is not bad, but apart from the premise, it is serviceable. However, the movie does not take itself seriously (without the satire being too in your face most of the time), so the weakness of the scenario is not a fatal flaw. The music is not the main focus of the movie, and does its job here. Apart from one or two tracks, it doesn't do anything special. The acting is to be commended, both actresses (Elisabeth – Demi Moore & Sue – Margaret Qualley) are doing a great job and selling a believable performance. The director, who also wrote, co-edited, and co-produced the film, Coralie Fargeat, is also to be saluted, as I especially liked the direction. And I also have to mention Benjamin Kracun who was responsible for the much appreciated cinematography.

The themes of the use of women by the entertainment industry (sole focus on beauty, youth, and unrealistic standards as well as rampant sexualization for monetisation purpose) and parenting, are very unsubtly present here. The second one was dealt with more depth and almost nuance, while the first was pretty simplistic. I don't believe the movie could have gotten away without mentioning the first though, so it is understandable. What the movie says about the former and self-hate, self-loathing, things taken for granted/lack of appreciation for the things we have, aging... were really interesting in my opinion, even if I can't fully relate to the last one yet. Overall, this movie touches on multiple subject, without being too verbose. A lot of them are mostly indirectly approached, which is nice to see; the movie is not afraid of the viewer not understanding/getting everything.

I would recommend this movie, it is a nice breath of fresh air in the horror genre, which — last I checked — was pretty stale. But don't expect too much horror. 16/20

BREAKDOWN OF MINOR LEAGUES: MLB AAA AA High A Low A

ARBITRATION: player has reached enough service time to advocate for themselves if they believe they deserve a larger contract, if both sides cannot agree, it is taken to a third party arbitration hearing, not good for player-team relations

SPOTRAC.COM: website that evaluates player contracts and estimated player market value

PLAYER OPTION: clause in additional years of a contract where the player can choose to opt in or opt out, going to free agency

TEAM OPTION: clause in additional years of a contract where the team can choose to opt in or opt out, sending player to free agency

FANGRAPHS.COM: website that gives super in depth looks at each team and players, projections, and evaluations

CY YOUNG AWARD: best pitcher award

TEAM BREAKDOWN/WISHLIST ——————————————————————

CATCHER: Alejandro Kirk, Tyler Heinemen, Brian Serven

After trading away Danny Jansen this past season, it's clear that Captain Kirk is the primary catcher for the years to come, now in his arbitration years and set to reach free agency in 2027. Originally signing as an international free agent way back in 2016, he is just now getting his spot as the no1 catcher. Taking a step back offensively in 2024 however, the Blue Jays should nix having Tyler Heinemen and Serven as the backups (kind of nothing players outside of being able to play catcher), and instead sign a no2 catcher that can also serve as a pinch hitter when needed. This is when trading your top catching prospect hurts you. Gabriel Moreno, traded from Toronto to Arizona, has become a top catcher in the game at only 24 years old. Traded with outfielder Lourdes Gurriel Jr. for Daulton Varsho, this trade still baffles me as you traded a top catching prospect and a quality outfielder for a decent outfielder who can play catcher but probably won't ever again.

The catcher free agent class is usually pretty weak, as a good catcher is one of the more important pieces to keep around. Ironically, Danny Jansen is a free agent again, but will probably be asking for a multi-year deal worth more than I would spend on a no2 catcher. After departing with Moreno, their catching prospect list is basically non-existent, as none of their catchers rank.

Cheap: Yasmani Grandal

Grandal will be entering his age 36 season, and has fallen off significantly after his time in Milwaukee. Injuries and poor performance filled out his 4 year contract with the White Sox, having just one good year from 2020-2023. Signing with the Pirates this year on a 1 year, 2.5mil contract, he put up better numbers than his last year with Chicago hitting more homers in less games. His best years are behind him, but as a switch hitting bench bat, he could provide some offense on a game to game basis. Spotrac has his projected market value to be 1.3m/y but I think matching his previous contract with another 1 year, 2.5-3 mil deal is a good cheap option for a no2 catcher.

Average: Gary Sanchez

Gary Sanchez is a veteran of the AL East division, playing with the Yankees for the majority of his career before stints with the Twins, Mets, Padres, and most recently, the Milwaukee Brewers. Batting .220 in 2024 with 11 homers in 89 games isn't anything special, but only 31, I can see him recovering some of his power lost from his Yankee days, and would sign him to a 2 year, 8 mil deal. Having him as a bench option/secondary catcher seems like the better option as his average and on base percentage is up from his last year with the Yankees, having played half as many games.

Lucrative: Elias Diaz

Diaz will “only” be 34 in 2025, and has more than 6 years of service time as a major league catcher. Starting with the Pirates but having his best seasons in Colorado, Diaz is a good backup option, batting .270 with Colorado this year before being traded to San Diego. He only hit half as many homers this year as he did last year, but still hit for a decent average. His market value is projected to be much higher than I think it should be at 13.1m/y, coming off of a 3 year, 14 mil extension and taking a step back in his production during those years, I can see signing him to a 2 year, 15mil deal.

SUMMARY: Yasmani Grandal – 1yr,2.5-3 mil Gary Sanchez – 2yr, 8mil Elias Diaz – 2yr, 15mil

FIRST BASE: Vlad Jr, Spencer Horwitz

The biggest question mark for the Blue Jays is whether Vlad Jr. can return to his 2021 season production or if this could be the final days of Vlad Jr. in a Blue Jays jersey. By far the most expensive player to evaluate, it's hard to see the Blue Jays not at least trying to keep Vladdy on the Jays. In his last years of arbitration and making almost 30 mil in arbitration in 2025, it's hard to see both sides agreeing on a number for a long term deal. Hitting 30 homers and batting over .300, he is edging closer to his best season with Toronto (40 homers, .300+ average), but with little time remaining on his tenure, the Jays should be putting him as their top priority. Spotrac has him valued as a potential 10 year, 250mil player, akin to the Braves' Matt Olson (8yr, 168 mil) which would become the largest contract in Blue Jays history, beating out George Springer's 6 year, 150 mil contract. Only missing 18 games since 2021, I think he is a safe person to bet big on, and at the very least, maintain his production for the majority of his career. In this game of ifs, I have to picture a reality where they don't get Vladdy to resign, either due to the front office's own mismanagement or because of a more lucrative deal from another team, most likely a routine contender.

Cheap: Spencer Horwitz

Just starting his tenure as a major leaguer and having a good first season in Toronto, the Jays can continue to develop Horwitz as their first baseman following a potential departure from Vladdy. Under contract until 2031, and not arbitration eligible until 2027, he is the perfect cheap, homegrown option to invest in and make their starting first baseman of the future. Hitting over .300 for the first months of his career and ending with a .265 average and 12 home runs is more than quality for a 24 year old drafted in 2019. His pre arbitration contract is only 741,000/y and he has the tools necessary to become a main piece of the Blue Jays future.

Average: Anthony Rizzo/Rhys Hoskins

This one is a little different because both players have options (Rizzo team option, Hoskins player option) so this is assuming both players have their options opted out of, sending both to free agency. Much like the signing of Brandon Belt last season, an added first baseman option will let Vladdy play games at DH and let him rest a little throughout the season without having to take him out of the lineup.

Anthony Rizzo, a World Series champion in 2016 with the Chicago Cubs and back in the World Series with the Yankees this year, hasn't had the same production since his time with the Cubs, and has been sidelined with injury during his tenure with the Yankees. The Yankees are expected to decline his option, I think Rizzo is a good left handed option, and if healthy, can still have quality performance on offense and defense. Signing a 32 mil contract from 2022-23 and another contract for 2023-25, the Yankees are expected to buy out the last year of his 40mil contract for 6 mil. From the start of his Yankees tenure to now, his market value has plummeted from 17/mil to an estimated 2 mil/y salary. Because of this, and his notable defense, I think he is a good option to have as a backup/bench bat. His last full season was 2022, where he hit 32 homers to a .224 average, and if he can get close to this production as a first baseman/DH/bench bat, can be a good signing for the Blue Jays. Despite him being 36 next season, I would give him a 2yr, 10 mil contract with an option for a third year.

Rhys Hoskins is kind of the opposite. Missing all of 2023 due to injury, and signing a short-term deal with the Milwaukee Brewers and proving he is still a quality player, I think Hoskins will opt out of his contract to pursue a more lucrative deal. Hitting 26 homers to a .214 average is nothing to scoff at after missing an entire year. His last full season was with the Phillies in 2022 where he hit 30 homers to a .246 average, pretty close to his most recent season. His estimated market value sits at 11.8mil/y, and I think that's fair given his current 17mil/y contract. At 31 years old, I would give him a 4yr, 50 mil contract, or a shorter 2 year, 30 mil contract with a player option for a third year.

Lucrative: Vladdy Jr.

Obviously, the lucrative option would be to sign Vladdy long term. Returning to form after a down year in 2023 where he only hit 26 homers to a .264 average, and only 25, the Blue Jays almost have to re-sign Vladdy, a generational cornerstone when at his best, an above average player at his worst. I would give him an 8yr, 200mil deal with options for a 9th and 10th year for a total of 250 mil.

SUMMARY: Horwitz – 747,000/y, Team control until 2031 Rizzo – 2yr, 10 mil, option for third year Hoskins – 4yr, 50mil or 2yr, 30mil with an option for a third year Vlad Jr. – 8yr, 200mil with options for 9th and 10th year

SECOND BASE: Will Wagner, Ernie Clement, Leo Jimenez

With a plethora of unproven infielders, it's hard to say how they will navigate 2nd base. Like Spencer Horwitz, Will Wagner performed well during his first few months with the Jays after being acquired from Houston. Batting over .300 in his first 25 games, it's still hard to tell what he will do in a full season given the chance. Ernie Clement has been a flexible infield option as well, playing 2nd, 3rd, and SS last season. He is on his way to being a productive everyday player, having played his career high in games last season and hitting to a .263 average. To compete for a championship in the next couple years however, they may need more. I can see Clement as the starting second baseman to begin the season, and depending on his production, reevaluate from there. He is almost 30 which is a bit old to develop as an infielder, and he will make 2.5mil next season. Leo Jimenez is too young and too green to evaluate as an everyday player, and has not performed well in his time given at the major league level. I believe he will start in the minor leagues and get called up when needed. Playing in only 60 games mostly due to injuries to the main core, he averaged .229 last season. Second base doesn't always have to be an impact position, but someone who should be in the field as many games as possible with some flexibility in their ability to play other positions. The top second baseman last season was Ketel Marte for Arizona, hitting 36 homers to a .292 batting average, by far an outlier on the offensive front. Former Blue Jay Marcus Semien is a close second place, who with Toronto broke the single season home run record for a second baseman but took a step back offensively with the Texas Rangers' collapse in the second half, only hitting to a .237 batting average.

Cheap: Use what they have in Wagner, Clement, Jimenez

Having an excess of middle infielders makes it easy to plug in someone you already have in your system, without the need to look elsewhere. Wagner showed promise and with Jimenez, are young and cheap with many years of team control. Ernie Clement showed success at the major league level but is getting older for someone who is just now getting significant playing time. He will be entering his age 29 season.

Average: Jorge Polanco

Switch hitting second baseman has a 12 million club option with Seattle for 2025, but only hitting 16 homers to a .213 average, I see Seattle declining his option, sending him to free agency. In the last year of his contract extension from 2019 with Minnesota, Jorge Polanco was a key piece of the Twins' success and still relatively young at 31 years old. Because of this, and his former success , hitting 33 homers to a .258 average in 2021, I think he would be a good short term, win now contract if he can return to form. His market value is a little higher than I would give him at 13.7/y, but a short term deal could be beneficial for both sides. Because of his past and as a switch hitter, I think a 2 year, 25 mil deal with an option for a third year worth 15mil would work well.

Lucrative: Gleyber Torres

Yankee mainstay Gleyber Torres hits free agency this winter, and depending on the Yankee's success in this year's World Series, the team might not re-sign Torres with young infielders on the rise in their minor league system. He's only missed a handful of games in his last 3 seasons, and a veteran of the AL East, could be a good steal for the Jays, even if at a hefty price. The Jays have a lot of young infielders, but could sign Torres to a multi-year deal to have some offensive stability while the young players develop. He took a step back offensively this year, dropping his homers from 25 to 15, and his average from .273 to .253, but looking at his first half vs second half stats, he performed much better in the second half as the leadoff hitter, hitting over .300 the last few months of the season. The Blue Jays' known issues with production in the leadoff spot puts Gleyber in a good spot to provide some early offense for Bo and Vladdy, who will get more opportunities to drive in runs early. Torres is only 27, and will fetch a high price. He received 14.2mil in arbitration last season, and due to his step back offensively, could be signed to a 3 year, 50 mil deal with options for more on the hope that he can return to his 20+ homer, .250+ average with consistency.

SUMMARY: Wagner, Clement, Jimenez – <4 mil/y and a lot of team control Jorge Polanco – 2y, 25mil with option for third year at 15mil Gleyber Torres – 3y, 50mil with options for fourth and fifth year

THIRD BASE: Clement (projected starter on FanGraphs), Addison Barger, Orelvis Martinez

The Blue Jays haven't had a consistent third baseman since acquiring Matt Chapman from Oakland in 2022, departing with Cavan Biggio and Santiago Espinal and settling on deals for Justin Turner and Isiah Kiner-Falefa last year. Their top third base prospect, Orelvis Martinez, hit to a .267 average in the minor leagues before getting called up to the Jays, and promptly suspended for 80 games after violating the PED policy. In years previous, he's been nothing special, but is only 22 years old. Another third base prospect, Addison Barger, got significant playing time last year but hit to a <.200 average, and will most likely start 2025 on the minor league roster. Another third base prospect, Cutter Coffey, one of the players acquired from Boston in the Danny Jansen trade, hit 14 home runs in the minor leagues before being traded, where he only hit 1 the rest of the season. This position is very much a work in progress, and in a win now scenario, needs significant improvement unless you move Vladdy back to third base, something he did a little bit last year but hasn't played full time since 2019. Moving Vlad to third would allow Horwitz or another first baseman (think Rizzo or Hoskins) to play everyday and still let someone play DH without removing much from the field defensively.

Cheap: JD Davis

Because of the unreliability from the Jays third basemen in their organization already, the best cheap option to acquire would be JD Davis, who has shown power in the past but didn't perform well last year where he only played in 50 games. He hit 18 homers to a .248 average with San Francisco in 2023, and could return to that 15+ homer form given a full season. In seasons where he played more than 100 games, he has hit at least 12 home runs and at least a .248 average. A 1yr, 2.5 mil deal, same as last season, should be good enough for him.

Average: Yoan Moncada

Riddled with injuries these past few seasons, Yoan Moncada needs a “prove it” deal, the opportunity to show the league you still got it on a short 1 year contract, to get back on the right track. As a switch hitting third baseman who was touted as a top prospect with Red Sox and later the White Sox, he is only a few years removed from his best campaign, where he hit 25 homers to a .315 average in 2019. Still young at 29, and most likely to have his 25mil team option opted out of, he will be looking for somewhere to show his stuff. Playing poorly from 2020-2024, only playing in a handful of games the last couple seasons, his price tag will be much lower than his contract was, and a 1 yr, 4 million dollar deal would be a good prove it deal for him.

Lucrative: Alex Bregman

Bregman is tricky, because there is a big possibility that the Astros resign Bregman, who has played his entire career in Houston, winning 2 championships in 2017* and 2022 respectfully. He is coming off a 5 year, 100mil extension signed in 2020, and will probably be asking for close to that if he hits free agency. Hitting 41 home runs in 2019, it's no question why he got the contract extension, but since 2020 has performed to a slightly above average statline, as a 20+ homer .250+ average player. If he can't get a deal done because his asking price is too high or Houston's offer is too low, I can see a 4 year, 80 million dollar deal for a quality third base option who has only missed significant time once in his career.

SUMMARY: JD Davis – 1yr, 2.5mil Yoan Moncada – 1yr, 4mil Alex Bregman – 4yr, 80 mil

SHORTSTOP: Bo Bichette, Ernie Clement, Josh Kasevich

Bo Bichette has been a mainstay at the shortstop position since 2019, hitting for a .300+ average almost every season, with his lowest coming this year due to injury at .225, but only playing 81 games (also important to note that it was a hand injury, so offensive struggles were likely because of that). He is set to earn 17.5mil in 2025, his last season before reaching free agency. During his stint on the injured list, Ernie Clement and others held down his position, but not performing nearly as well as Bichette had in years prior. Josh Kasevich has yet to debut on the Blue Jays roster, but performed to a .325 average in 41 games at AAA. I think he will start in the minor leagues, and probably only debut due to injuries or late in the season, so I think signing someone who can slot in to multiple positions while also taking over on rest days for Bo if needed.

Cheap: Amed Rosario

A flexible INF/OF, Rosario has had consistent success at the major league level, with most of his 9 seasons consisting of .260+ averages and 5-15 home runs. He has played most of the season each year, with stints on the Dodgers, Guardians, Mets, and Reds. Not a huge impact player offensively, but his value is in his versatility and ability to stay on the field, not to mention his low cost. Rosario signed a 1.5mil deal in 2024 with Tampa Bay before being sent to the Reds. His estimated value is 2.3m/y, so a 1y, 2.5 mil deal is more than doable.

Average: Ha-Seong Kim

San Diego has at least 50 shortstops last time I checked, Kim one of them, and his contract for 2025 rests on a mutual option. The Padres need to cut payroll, and Kim is expected to opt out of his side, despite a down year offensively. He only hit 11 homers to a .233 average, but at 29 years old and a veteran of the Korean league, Kim is still a worthy player. Kim missed 40 games this year due to injury, but played in 150 games in 2022 and 2023. He is coming off a 4 year, 28 mil contract signed in 2021, and his market value is estimated at 12.3mil/y. I wouldn't spend that much on someone who's best season was only 17 homers at a .266 average, but a 3 year, 33 mil deal with an option for a 4th works well for me, as he has also played second base in San Diego, another spot the Jays need to fill.

Lucrative: Bo Bichette

It's no mystery that Bo Bichette is talented, and that last year was an outlier to his overall production, but signing him to a long term deal would still come with some ifs. 26 years old is super young for a shortstop, and is coming off a 3 year, 33.6mil extension signed in 2023. Set to reach free agency after this next season, signing him now on the idea that he returns to form instead of waiting until after the 2025 season in case his stock rises so much he chooses to hit the open market is the best bet for a solid infield for years to come. Not counting 2024, where he missed half the season, he has hit over 60 home runs to a .300+ average since his debut in 2019. After a down year, you could probably get him to sign a long term deal for less than if he had played a full season, and a 7yr, 150mil contract is somehow on the cheaper end for a player like Bobear.

SUMMARY: Amed Rosario – 1yr, 2.5mil Ha-Seong Kim – 3yr, 33 mil with an option for a 4th year at 15mil Bo Bichette – 7yr, 150mil

OUTFIELDERS: George Springer, Daulton Varsho, Nathan Lukes, Joey Loperfido, Jonatan Clase

Instead of doing 3 players for each outfield position, I will present 5 outfielders, 2 cheap, 2 average, and 1 lucrative.

The Blue Jays outfield has seen massive turnover in recent years, going from proven sluggers like Teoscar Hernandez and Lourdes Gurriel to defensive standouts like Kevin Kiermaier and Daulton Varsho, but the constant member of the outfield, George Springer, has fallen off completely from his best years. The highest Blue Jays contract in history at 6yrs, 150mil, Springer is a shell of his former self, hitting to a .220 average last season. George will be 35 during the 2025 season, and a 35 year old outfielder is like one of those dogs with the training wheels because their legs are shot. A worthy candidate to replace George Springer as the top outfielder is Daulton Varsho, and while he was acquired through a horrible, lopsided trade, has proven he can patrol Center Field to a gold glove standard. Lukes, Loperfido, and Clase are young and unproven, but can fill out Left and Right field if needed. Outside of these names, there aren't a lot of impact players for the Jays' outfield. Minor leaguer Alan Roden would be the first one called up if needed, hitting to a .314 average in 71 games at AAA. There are always a lot of quality outfielders on the market, we'll see if the Jays can snag anyone of note for next season.

Cheap: Michael Conforto

Conforto has been through injury hell since he hit over .300 in the shortened covid season, missing all of 2022. He signed a 2 year deal with San Francisco, and performed well enough, playing most games during those two seasons and matching his production from 2021, even surpassing his home run numbers this last season, hitting 20 and batting .237. I can also see him taking somewhat of a prove it deal, improving last season but still needing to return to his 2019 standard, where he hit over 30 home runs for the first and only time in his career. His market value is set at 4.7mil/y, but I don't think he would go for anything less than 10 mil/y. A 1 yr, 15mil deal should be good enough value for what he is hoping to do in 2025. Conforto is a primary Right Fielder but can play Left and Center if needed.

Cheap: Harrison Bader

Besides a short run during his time with the Yankees, Bader has been a defense first outfielder for his career. I would compare this signing to the signing of Kiermaier a couple years ago, adding great defense but with Bader having slightly better offensive numbers. Having Bader as a Center Fielder allows Varsho to rest vs lefties, or allows him to slide to Left with Springer in Right for a more complete outfield. At 30 years old, and valued at 7.1m/y, I think a 1yr, 10 mil or a 2yr, 18 mil deal, comparable financially to Kiermaier's contract (1yr, 10.5mil).

Average: Tyler O'Neill

Canada's own Tyler O'Neill hit 31 homers last year, and would provide much needed power to the middle of the order for people not named Vlad Jr. He made just under 6 mil in arbitration in 2024, and is valued at 16.2mil/y after this great season. He did miss time with injury the past 3 years, which could lower his value a bit, but that makes the 31 homers this season stand out that much more. A corner outfielder, he can slot in as the everyday Left or Right fielder, and also DH when needed. Only 29, I can see signing him to a 4yr, 60 mil contract.

Average: Alex Verdugo

As a member of both the Red Sox and the Yankees, Verdugo is no stranger to the AL East, and has proven to be a +defender with solid offensive output. Only 28, he will probably be looking for a multi-year deal. Making 8.7mil last season in arbitration, I think a 5 year, 60 mil contract with options can be beneficial for both sides, as he provides a left handed bat and solid defense at the corner outfield positions.

Lucrative: Juan Soto

Juan Soto is on the fast track to the Hall of Fame. Only 25 years old, he won the World Series in 2019, and has over .300 for almost his entire career. Hitting for average and power, Juan Soto is the upper echelon of offensive production. His “worst” season is still a 25+ homer season, and had a career high 41 homers in 2024. The Yankees will do everything in their power to re-sign Soto, but why shouldn't the Jays do the same? Making a whopping 31 mil in arbitration this season, he will no doubt be a $500 million dollar man. Slotting in Right or Left, and as a power hitting left-handed bat, Juan Soto will be at the top of the list for every team worth their salt. A 15yr, 500mil contract is an insane amount of money, and is well deserved for a man of Soto's caliber.

SUMMARY: Michael Conforto – 1yr, 15mil Harrison Bader – 1yr, 10mil or 2yr, 18mil Tyler O'Neill – 4yr, 60 mil Alex Verdugo – 5 yr 60 mil Juan Soto – 15yr, 500mil

DESIGNATED HITTER: Vlad Jr., Spencer Horwitz, George Springer

As far as offensive production goes, the Jays need a significant improvement in their DH slot, having an everyday power presence while allowing Vladdy, Horwitz, and Springer to play their normal positions. DH's vary more year to year and don't receive long term contracts because they only hit. (The Yankees' Giancarlo Stanton is one of the only DH's to make significant money and only hit, as Ohtani will return to pitching in 2025). Because of this and the tendency to not sign a DH only player, the options are usually slim.

Cheap: Eloy Jimenez

Debuting with the Chicago White Sox and starting off strong with a 30+ homer season, Jimenez has never been the same player since, struggling with injuries and poor performance. He actually played the same amount of games in 2021 as he did in the shortened 2020 season because of injuries, but put up decent enough numbers in 2023, but not to the standard of his debut season. Because of his strong first season in Chicago, he was signed to a 6yr, 43 mil contract extension, and never lived up to the price tag. He has a team option for 2025, but at 16.5mil, he will most certainly have it declined. He's only 27, and could benefit highly from a 1yr prove it deal, if he can stay healthy. His estimated market value is only 2.3m/y, and a 1yr, 3mil contract for a DH on the hopes they can get back to their 25+ homer days is perfect for a Jays team that wants results without spending big.

Average: JD Martinez

Veteran slugger JD Martinez has produced his entire career, and at 37 years old, is only now starting to slow down. From 2014-2023 (not counting the shortened covid season) Martinez has played over 100 games each season, hitting to a .270+ average. 2024 has arguably been the worst of his career, only hitting 16 homers to a .235 average, but can still provide a power bat at the DH spot, not having to play every day either. At 38, a big money deal is risky, but with 7.5mil of his most recent contract deferred until 2034, could be attracted to a 1yr, 12 mil deal.

Lucrative: Joc Pederson

Another proven power bat, this time from the left side, Joc Pederson hit 23 homers to a .275 average in 132 games in 2024, one of his more consistent offensive seasons. A notorious power bat and two time World Series champion, he will most likely opt out of his 14 mil deal for 2025 and look for a multi-year contract in his age 32 season. His market value is estimated close to what he would earn this year, I think a 3yr, 50mil contract given he still produces is more than beneficial for the Jays.

SUMMARY: Eloy Jimenez – 1yr, 3mil JD Martinez – 1yr, 12mil Joc Pederson – 3yr, 50 mil

STARTING ROTATION: Kevin Gausman, Jose Berrios, Bowden Francis, Chris Bassitt, Yariel Rodriguez

The Blue Jays lucked out with Bowden Francis. When Kikuchi was traded, that opened up a spot in the rotation, and Francis broke out. Pitching to a 3.30 ERA and flirting with a no hitter on multiple occasions, Francis is an excellent pitcher for the future of the Jays. With an all righty rotation however, I think signing a lefty will be good for variety. With Rodriguez' struggles in his first season and subsequently pushed into a bullpen role, a spot is able to be opened up if needed. Alek Manoah (although also right-handed) should return for the second half of 2025 after his UCL surgery. Unfortunately their top lefty pitching prospect, 22 year old Ricky Tiedemann also is recovering from surgery and will miss the first half with Manoah. Lefty Ryan Yarbrough was traded for last season, so there is a possibility that he gets re-signed as a first half replacement for Manoah and Tiedemann.

Cheap: Ryan Yarbrough

Although mostly used from the bullpen this past season, Yarbrough was a starter for his first few years, pitching over 140 innings in 2018, 2019, and 2021 with Tampa Bay. Finishing last season with a 3.19 ERA in 44 games, Yarbrough could be a good lefty option to platoon that no5 starter spot with Rodriguez. Valued at 4.5mil/y renewing his tenure with the Jays on a 1yr, 4 mil contract should hold down the rotation until Manoah and Tiedemann can return from injury.

Average: John Means

The Baltimore lefty has been through injury hell, Only pitching more than 25 games in 2 seasons since 2019. In 2023 and 2024 he only pitched 4 games, and performed well with a a <3 ERA. Now a free agent, John Means will be looking for another 1 year prove it deal to show he can stay healthy and produce at a quality standard, which he did in 2019 and 2021, pitching over 140 innings to a 3.60 ERA. Making 3.3mil in 2024, a 1yr, 6 mil deal can help him show that he can still produce.

Lucrative: Blake Snell

The two time CY Young award winner got off to a slow start in 2024, not signing with a team until after Spring Training, which significantly halted his performance early on. Recovering tenfold and throwing a no hitter this year, Snell is expected to opt out of his last minute contract and hit free agency for the second consecutive season. In what has historically been an up and down statline on a year to year basis, Snell has shown consistency his last 3 seasons, pitching over 100 innings to a <3.50 ERA and winning the CY Young in 2023. He would slot in as the new ace, and a power lefty pitcher would round out the rotation nicely. Snell will most likely want to go to a regular playoff contender, and is valued at 26.3m/y. His biggest question mark in his career has been consistency, but after a third year of consistent performance, a 4yr, 150mil contract is well worth the cost.

SUMMARY: Yarbrough – 1yr, 4mil John Means – 1yr, 6 mil Blake Snell – 4yr, 150mil

BULLPEN: Jordan Romano, Chad Green, Erik Swanson, Genesis Cabrera, Ryan Burr, Brendon Little

Outside of closer Jordan Romano, setup man Chad Green, and lefty Genesis Cabrera, the bullpen is riddled with holes. In what was seemingly a revolving door of L talent, the bullpen is by far the part that needs the biggest change. The next guys up from AAA would be Zach Pop, Luis Frias, or Dillon Tate, all of which had poor performance in 2024. While not every pitcher in the bullpen needs to be an A+ guy, you should at least have consistency. There are always relief pitchers on the market, and on a wide range of price tags.

Cheap: Jose Leclerc

2024 was a step back for Leclerc after winning the World Series with Texas in 2023, pitching to a 4.32 ERA in 64 games. The veteran right hander is a consistent arm however, pitching over 50 innings in 6 of his 8 seasons. Coming off a big extension signed in 2019, and because relievers don't usually fetch a high price, a 2yr, 8 mil deal for Leclerc would add another stable arm in the bullpen.

Average: Kirby Yates

Yates was a Blue Jay for all of 6 seconds before injuring himself and sitting out his 2021 contract, but has since proven himself to be a top reliever in the game again. Cooking up a 1.17 ERA in 61.7 innings for Texas this year is outstanding for the veteran now entering his age 38 season, but age doesn't seem to have affected him as he put up his best numbers of his career. Because he is most likely on his way out of the league, I can see him settling for a 1yr, 8 mil deal.

Lucrative: Jeff Hoffman

Coming off a career year with the Phillies, pitching to a 2.17 ERA in 66 innings, his second consecutive season with an ERA in the 2's, Hoffman is a great choice to be that no1 guy out of the bullpen. Age 31, he will be looking for a multi-year deal. Estimated value set at 6.2m/y, I think a 3 year, 20 mil deal would give the Jays their A+ guy out of the bullpen to set up for Green and Romano in the 8th and 9th.

SUMMARY: Jose Leclerc – 2yr, 8mil Kirby Yates – 1yr, 8mil Jeff Hoffman – 3yr, 20mil

this has been my most ambitious post by far, and if any of these happen, I am the GOAT.

Portrait by Nick Verrelli

If I had a nickel for every Discord bot I have programmed, I would have two nickels.

The first was Verrelli Bot. Inspired by the bot work of Dom in our QCompSci messenger group chats, Verrelli Bot posted Markov-chains of Nick’s scraped (and now deleted) Twitter account. Good for a couple laughs and even as inspiration for a few tweets.

The second, Verrelli Bot 2, was my Javascript magnum opus.

What started as a replacement for the dogshit ranking system of MEE6 bot, soon spiralled into a full-blown economic and political model, spanning several eras and dynasties. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was December 2020 to March 2021; and deep in the midst of an international lockdown, we had nothing better to do than log onto Discord every day. The whole period was a blur to me. I can’t remember doing much except sitting in my basement office, my remote work on one screen and Discord open on my Lenovo gaming laptop¹.

At the core of Verrelli Bot 2 was NoahCoin – the digital upgrade of my fiat, Dollar Store brand currency, NoahBuck. In the beginning, it only had a few commands. v-mine was utilized to gain a small, random amount of NoahCoin. v-transfer would send NoahCoin to another person. v-slots would gamble a choice number of NoahCoin in the emoji casino. This was enough to kickstart a grand economic rat race and a bot project ending with dozens of commands.

Recounting each server event that took place in the three months between the introduction of Verrelli Bot 2.0 (December 29th, 2020) and the end of the server (March 11th, 2021) would be as futile as it would be boring. But I would like to present an anthropological, archeological, and sociological analysis of one of the recovered artifacts from the server: The infamous decree which became known as The Char Accords.

NOTE: From here onward, “Verrelli Bot” and “v-bot” will be used interchangeably, referring to the Verrelli Bot 2.0 (and all subsequent versions).

The Accords

On January 22nd 2021, Char ascended to the role of sole ruler of the server, and pronounced his decree. The full text is featured below and was later reprinted in the Nick York Times issue of that same day.

Upon further analysis within its original cultural context, the Char Accords reveal a great amount of detail regarding day-to-day life within Discordian society under the Machine Age of Verrelli Bot.

1. Rather than Charcord, the city as a whole will establish the new name of the discord to promote democracy.

The First Accord reveals that democracy and democratic values were at the forefront of the public discourse on server ownership. The server, up until this point, was filled with backstabbing tyranny over the digital throne. Everyone wanted to be the king, and no one trusted anyone.

This raises the question: How did one become the server ruler?

If their NNCBC (National Noahcord Bank of Commerce) account equaled or surpassed one million NoahCoins (held in NNCBC accounts by v-bot), their account would be reset back to zero and they would be granted the ‘Supreme Chancellor’ role, replacing whoever held it last. With the Chancellor role, they would be able to access specific v-bot commands that others could not: v-decree, v-tax, v-gag, and v-deputy – to name a few.

Originally, the Supreme Chancellor role would be given to whoever had the most NoahCoins. However, this led to extreme NoahCoin wealth disparity, with some users ranking in the millions while some only had hundreds. To solve both the inequality and rising NoahCoin inflation, the Verrelli Bot 2.5 [Definitive Golden Edition] update came with an economic overhaul that would both even the playing field and remove excess NoahCoins from circulation.

In this text, Char is referring to v-name, a command that allowed the Chancellor to rename the server. Of course, they could do it manually with the Supreme Chancellor role, but there was greater fanfare in having the bot do it publicly.

By not immediately renaming the server to “Charcord”, Char attempted to distance himself from the narcissistic regimes that came before him – including his own previous Charcord.

Ancient Discordian professor and scholar Dr. Nicholas commented, “The Chancellor was so desperate to distance himself from his past self that he claimed it was a divergent personality responsible; a Dark Char, if you will.”

2. Curfew has been lifted.

The “curfew” was the NoahCoin Farming Curfew imposed by the prior Jagcord Administration. Notoriously unpopular among the general populace, it banned the use of the v-farm command between the hours of 8pm and 11am.

An explanation of the v-farm command from the Verrelli Bot 2.5 [Definitive Golden Edition] patchnotes (published January 11th, 2021) can be found below:

This v-farm command became a very popular alternative to the widely used v-mine. Though slower (the cool-down on v-mining changed from time to time, but generally remained around 5 minutes), the profit was worth the risk of others potentially stealing your hard-earned crops².

The curfew that the Jag Regime had imposed was to stop so-called “overnight tryhards” who clogged up everyone’s notifications with 3am v-farm and v-mine attempts.

When asked for a comment on the curfew, Jag said “You can call them tryhards, I call them bots. I couldn’t escape Alex and Nick’s partnership. They had a strong bond. This was my wrench.”

By undoing the curfew, Char made himself friendly to the average farming citizen, as well as the aforementioned Bambino-Nicholas Alliance.

3. V-Tax, following an inauguration taxation, has been abolished.

v-tax was one of the most contentious v-bot commands that a Chancellor could use. Once daily, a Chancellor could type v-tax [integer between 1 and 5] to withdraw that percentage from every active NoahBank account and place it within their own account. Universally despised, it was still used by almost every Chancellor to keep their pockets stuffed. Anything less than v-tax 5 was seldom used.

Even Char couldn’t escape the allure of one final tax payout.

As Nick adds, “The hypocrisy of final taxation did not do much to ingratiate the new Chancellor to his citizens and was met with bipartisan uproar.”

4. I will be launching v-grant, a system which grants 10,000 NoahCoin to the citizens of the cord.

v-grant was added to solve a particular problem in the server at the time – there wasn’t much to do once you ran out of NoahCoin. This was a common problem, given that many vagrants gambled away their life savings in the v-casino on the v-slots.

v-mine, which users could do once every 5-10 minutes, took too long and produced little gain. v-daily and v-startup were recently banned following an Anti-Communism Committee investigation.

Char attempted to make himself a provider, a saviour of the people, doling out free money day-by-day, granted that you keep him in power.

Bambino in Growing Up in Kaitcord: Life as a V-Farmer sarcastically comments, “The irony in watching later Chancellors start each morning with v-grant and then v-tax 5…”

5. V-Request abolished, to prevent those from sneakily peaking at opposing parties balances.

To become Chancellor, your NNCBC account had to equal or surpass one million. This would empty your account and give you the Supreme Chancellor role with all its admin privileges. This economic overhaul from the 2.5 update also spawned a new host of strategies designed to take control of the server. To start was the obvious: political factions would form and donate money to a single person, allowing them to become the leader. The donors would normally be granted some high ranking role in the new society, generally the Sheriff position.

There were more advanced tactics too. The Bambino-Nicholas alliance was notorious for offloading hundreds of thousands of NoahCoins into ‘offshore’, inactive member accounts, to be later v-heisted back.

Another common tactic was ‘Pushing over’, whereby rival factions would push an enemy bank account over the one million mark, zeroing out the account, and then immediately pushing an allied account over the million mark to snatch away the throne.

For example: Account A has 700,000 NoahCoin Account B has 800,000 NoahCoin Account C has 900,000 NoahCoin

Account A and B are allied against Account C. They could easily combine funds and take the Chancellor role. However, they want to make sure Account C has no easy way to stop their new rule. Account B first v-transfers 100,000 NoahCoin to Account C. Account C passes hits one million, becomes Chancellor, and their balance is back to 0.

Account A has 700,000 NoahCoin Account B has 700,000 NoahCoin Account C has 0 NoahCoin

Now, Account B v-transfers 300,000 NoahCoin to Account A, making them the new Chancellor, with their political rival now bankrupt.

These strategies heavily relied on knowing how much each person had in their bank account. Originally, users could see their balance with v-balance or v-bal. Eventually, it had to be patched in to allow privately messaging Verrelli Bot this command, as users would check their balance in chat and immediately delete it, leaving a string of empty Discord notifications.

Evenso, a loophole was found with the command v-request. This command was used to request money from someone else on the server. If the requested account did not have available funds, the request was automatically – and publicly – cancelled with an error message.

By sending varying v-request amounts, users could check which requests went through and which produced insufficient fund errors. This allowed the attacker to estimate within precise amounts the exact bank balance of their target.

With the Fifth Accord, Char aimed to nullify this tactic entirely.

6. V-transfers must now be accepted to prevent forceful overthrowing.

See Section 5 for the “pushing over” political strategies.

This Accord was never implemented due to the cultural significance of v-transfer politics.

“We had more NoahCoin than we knew what to do with. We couldn't fit all our cash under our own mattresses safely – so we did the next best thing, we hid it under our neighbor's mattress. Of course, we never told them about it. There were risks, but it was the secret that allowed us to ensure the safety of our dynasties. Who doesn't stash away a little cash for a rainy day?” – Nick, on offshoring NoahCoin in inactive accounts

7. V-trial in place, launching a jury system which will democractically [sic] vote for a punishment rather than imprisonment without trial.

Culturally, the Supreme Chancellor was not the only bot role. The other was “Sheriff”, which could be granted to any user by the Chancellor (including themselves) by using the v-deputy command. The Sheriff had access to v-imprison and v-release. V-imprison stripped a user of all their roles and banned access to all voice calls and chats except one: Prison Yard.

This power was abused. Many mass imprisonments followed regime changes. Sometimes, though, the Sheriff used their power for good, imprisoning those who stole v-farm crops or other such crimes (which varied from one ruler to the next).

In later versions of the prison, timeouts could be set on prisoners' chats. One message per hour, or even per day. Some prisoners used their one message to petition for release. Others used it for a rebellious v-mine command.

Due to technical limitations, this Accord was never implemented. Yet it was, in the opinion of the author, by far the most progressive of all the Accords – trying to put an end to the often dual tyrannies of Chancellor and Sheriff.

8. To prevent citizens to overwhelm [sic] the farm sites, a minimum of 1000 NoahCoin must be used to purchase seeds.

v-farm was the main alternative to gain NoahCoins, aside from v-mine. Even within this system, there were strategies to keep money in your account and out of your enemies. There were ten virtual farm “plots” which could be filled by using v-farm. People who were rich and wanted to keep others from gaining money filled all those farms with v-farm 1, ensuring that for the next hour no one could farm and the resulting harvest would only be between 0 and 10 NoahCoins. See Section 2 for further explanation on the mechanics of v-farming.

Char aimed to put an end to this practice and leave the farms open for those with a genuine seed investment.

9. Nick News will continue to come out daily. V-Pay will be used to pay workers for their piece, 20k a news article, to promote creativity. Minimum requirements determined by the editor. This balance will not be taken from anyone's wallet.

The support of “Nick News” came to the Discord server as a surprise. One week earlier (decades in Discord time), Char had actually banned Nick’s Discord newspaper, The Nick York Times, under suspicion of Anti-Char and Pro-Communist propaganda. By the time that the Char Accords rolled around, it was evident that he was desperate to undo the actions of his past and set himself up as a new man in the eyes of the public.

The Nick York Times is a topic for its own Printhouse article, but must be mentioned here. Started by Nick while v-imprisoned under the Jagcord Regime, it was his series of plaintext articles on Discordian news, culture, and the NoahCoin economy. It grew in popularity, eventually having its own v-bot command (v-news) and a series of writers. It also spawned the widely acclaimed “wa wa wee wa” strip series by Bambino. A true testament to the free time many had under lockdown, publishing nearly daily editions for multiple weeks.

“Like any journalist publication, it was both loved and hated. I like to think we did a lot of good work in those days. We brought people news that mattered to them as it happened, just barely keeping ahead of the daily grind required to run a paper. I’m proud to say we had quite the diversity of columnists, and I was just happy to see people expressing themselves in the art of writing. Of course, like any paper, we had a political leaning...” – Nick, Editor-in-Chief of the Nick York Times

10. ENJOY!

Suspiciously, this 10th Accord was absent in the Nick York Times version printed the same day.

The Aftermath

Not even 24 hours had passed before Nick, the newly appointed Sheriff under Char, v-transferred Bambino enough NoahCoins to make him the new Chancellor.

The Char Accords had only just begun their implementation before a Caesarean betrayal shot Char back down to nothing. He all but removed himself from the political sphere of the server afterwards.

A Snapshot in Time

This was only the tip of the iceberg. Not mentioned here are the v-lotteries, v-mines closing due to auto-miners, the v-duels (and the infamous PANSHOT! bug), the v-slots odds update controversy, v-dawg (the server pet), v-prison break by suicide technique, the earth being mined dry, and of course, The Nat Job.

Of all these, The Char Accords remain one of the most intriguing relics to survive the Discordian Bot era. Scholars today still debate on the cultural impact of the Accords and what may have happened if they fully went into effect.

“It would have been a utopia if it happened.” – Char

The server itself persisted for another two months, with countless unrecorded political upheavals, purges, and revolutions. V-bot continued to be upgraded, until version 2.8 [THE LAST COMETH], which ironically finally re-implemented the Twitter Markov chains that the original v-bot was known for.

On March 11th, 2021, by collective user action, all NoahCoins were v-incinerate’d. This fulfilled the prerequisite conditions for v-killswitch. The killswitch was activated. The server logs were dumped and Verrelli Bot kicked all users, forever fossilizing the server in 2021.

All this is to say,

We don’t have roles or bots in our Discord servers anymore.

Everybody had their hands out, Everything was for the taking, Now it’s all over.

Stay frosty, Noah

Thanks to Nick, Jag, Char, and Alex for all the commentary. And special thanks to Kaitlyn for the proofread and revisions.

¹ The Lenovo gaming laptop which was running 24/7 on a wall socket to host the bot

² “I’m not ashamed to say it: back in my day, in my youth before Kaitcord, I was a notorious crop thief. I would monitor my Discord notifications for others v-farming, and would set a timer on my phone to remind me when their crops were ready for harvest. I would swoop in and rob them blind. It wasn’t an honest living, but a girl’s gotta eat.” – Kaitlyn, The Last Supreme Chancellor before Fossilization

Q: Why do you 'detox' or take breaks from drinking coffee? A1: I've only done it twice, once during Lent when u are supposed to give up something and now because [redacted] is and its nice to do things with friends :3 A2: To avoid migraines from withdrawals, so I don't like to be too dependent on it because if I am drinking like three cups a day, but then i have a day where I don't drink around that amount it fucks me up.

Strange.. It seems like being dependent on it and then manually taking it away for a week would just induce withdrawals without any benefits of detoxing for a prolonged period of time, yet this is what A2 chooses to do from time to time. A1… well A1 is a troller.

Is my argument disingenuous? Probably. I did what any titan of academia would do. I googled “is coffee bad for you?” This is what I found:

“High intake of boiled, unfiltered coffee has been associated with mild increase in cholesterol levels. The bottom line? Your coffee habit is probably fine and may even have some benefits. But if you have side effects from coffee, such as heartburn, nervousness or insomnia, consider cutting back.” – Mayo Clinic (First google result obviously)

“Regular coffee consumption may reduce your risk for certain health conditions, including diabetes, stroke, depression, cardiovascular disease, and even some types of cancer. However, having too much caffeine can cause you to be jittery and anxious and make it difficult to sleep at night.” – Verywellhealth.com (random ass stupid health site idk?)

““The overall evidence has been pretty convincing that coffee has been more healthful than harmful in terms of health outcomes,” said Frank Hu, chair of the Department of Nutrition at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, in an April 5, 2021, article in Discover. “For most people, moderate coffee consumption can be incorporated into a healthy diet.” Hu said that moderate coffee intake—about 2–5 cups a day—is linked to a lower likelihood of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, liver and endometrial cancers, Parkinson’s disease, and depression. It’s even possible that people who drink coffee can reduce their risk of early death. – Harvard mfer Frank Hu (Harvard Idk man whatever)

Do I actually have a real point here? Not really. That being said, I want to say that coffee is delicious and lovely. I think we all should be drinking many cups a day. As for A2 if they are really getting migraines or having panic attacks then they should stop and I should stop trolling them. However, to prepare for a rare time where no caffeine would be readily available to you is silly. If you have a day where you don’t drink your normal amount of coffee then that’s unfortunately a skill issue and you deserve to suffer. If you are randomly detoxing from coffee for a week in preparation for a caffeine doomsday then you also deserve to suffer. I guess I do have a point.

You deserve to suffer.

Originating in the era of carnies during the late 1800s and adapted from Greco-Roman wrestling, the “kayfabe” or “worked” art of wrestling was quickly popularized in the 1920s, with the first “Golden Era” of wrestling emerging in the late 40's. The first wrestling “celebrity” to be known nationwide would be “Gorgeous George”, known for his flamboyant attire, he was an early predecessor to characters like “Mr Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

Mostly involving grappling and various holds, early wrestling, aided by the lacking technology, allows the performers to cover the face or mouth and communicate with the “referee” and their opponent on what to do next. This is now referred to as “calling a match” or “calling spots”. With any performance art, time only allows for more interpretation and adaptation of the industry, creating flashier showmanship and larger events following its inception. In the era of technology, camera cuts are utilized to maintain that charade.

WWE has become synonymous with pro wrestling, often used as a replacement for pro wrestling (think UFC for MMA). Before the corporate entity, pro wrestling was separated into territories. In the late 1940s, during this first golden era, the “National Wrestling Alliance” was formed (and exists to this day). Often just called the “NWA” for short, they established a “World Champion” agreed upon by the various promoters, who would then travel to the various territories and face off against the biggest draws in those places. Because of this, many promoters would want their star to stay local to create the most profit for them, leading to many promoters separating from the NWA. One of these promoters, Vince McMahon Sr. would create the WWWF, and after selling it to his son, Vince McMahon Jr. would transition it into WWF and purchase many of the territories by the late 80s, and is now known worldwide as WWE.

With the eminent takeover of cable television, Vince McMahon Jr. would “poach” the top stars in the failing territories. Now under one corporate umbrella, American professional wrestling was now mostly controlled by one supreme being, Vince McMahon. It would be under McMahon's guidance that characters such as Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage became household names in the 80s and 90s, with the over the top, outlandish way of speaking becoming a staple of professional wrestling. There have been different iterations of the same characters or “gimmicks” throughout wrestling's existence, but for every gimmick that works and clicks with the fanbase, there are 10 that don't and fail. For every Hulk Hogan there is a “Shockmaster” and for every Undertaker there is “OZ”.

The late 80's and early 90's were a breaking ground for new ideas, some good, some horrible, most racist, but at its very simplest, it was the era of ego. Everyone thinks they should get paid more and get more opportunity in the spotlight, and this was highlighted by the creation of “WCW”, backed by billionaire Ted Turner and TBS. With the WWF shifting to a revolutionary weekly program with the debut of “Monday Night RAW” in Jan. 1993, WCW would shift to this method in Sep. 1995 under the guidance of new VP Eric Bischoff, their debut episode of “Monday Night Nitro” was broadcasted from Minnesota <3. Shifting to a more reality tv based form of storytelling and utilizing the backing of billionaire Ted Turner, WCW Nitro would become the first real competitor to WWE and Monday Night RAW. This was the beginning of the “Monday Night Wars” and would go on to create some of the most iconic characters in its history.

Top stars like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair would revive their careers left lacking in the WWF, while homegrown characters like Sting and Goldberg would achieve their biggest success in the “new” WCW. Wrestlers who believed themselves to be misused or underutilized in WWF would “jump ship” to WCW to try and find better success, including Jeff Jarrett, Brett Hart, Mr. Perfect, and many, many, more. For almost 2 years straight WCW was beating the WWF, forcing McMahon and his cronies to think outside of the box. No more could they rely on the do good, boy scout, dynamic and opted for an edgier, more mature business model. Called the “Attitude Era”, characters like “The Rock” and “Stone Cold Steve Austin”, would become icons of the era but it would be WCW's “Mean” Mark Calloway that might be the biggest name in wrestling history, after he was hired by the WWF and turned into “The Undertaker”. While WCW headed downhill, The Undertaker became the biggest name in wrestling. Longevity became Calloway's biggest strength, wrestling well into the 2020's.

Below is a small sample size of iconic characters who left WCW for WWF and became household names. WCW ————— WWF The Giant – The Big Show Eddie Guerrero – no name change Oz/Vinnie Vegas – Diesel (then back to WCW as Kevin Nash, and back to WWF as Kevin Nash) Damon Striker – Edge Cactus Jack – Mick Foley (Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love) Chris Jericho – no name change Terra Ryzing – HHH “Stunning” Steve Austin – “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

By 2000, the WWF had won the “Monday Night Wars” and WCW had gone bankrupt, with the blame game still being played today by various entitles (Hogan, Flair, Bischoff, Hart, and more) with many of its top stars already having left for McMahon's company. McMahon would purchase WCW and work it into a “kayfabe” storyline with his son and daughter, having WCW stars “invade” the WWF and attack their top stars.

History would repeat itself in 2002, with the creation of “Total Nonstop Action” or TNA Wrestling under the NWA umbrella. Helmed by the previously mentioned Jeff Jarrett, TNA would become the next place where talent can go to achieve the success they think they deserve. Hogan would again become part of a WWF (now WWE) derivative, and TNA would repeat the same steps by WCW in hiring people from the competition. Wrestlers like Christian, Kurt Angle, The Dudley Boyz and Scott Steiner created a second wave of success in their careers, getting rehired by WWE down the line. Much like WCW, however, as the company began to go downhill in the 2010s, various stars in TNA (shortly rebranded as Impact Wrestling) were picked up by WWE and given a larger platform to perform.

TNA ———– WWE Abyss- Chris Park (producer, joined 2019) Eli Drake – LA Knight (joined 2021) Rosita – Zelina Vega/Queen Zelina (joined 2017) AJ Styles – no name change (joined 2016) Bobby Roode – no name change (joined 2016) Samoa Joe – no name change (joined 2015) CM Punk – no name change (joined 2006, rejoined 2023)

But now we reach the modern day. WWE is flourishing under billion dollar network deals. Although ideas change, some things always work. A Hulk Hogan becomes a John Cena, an Undertaker becomes Bray Wyatt, and the wheel keeps turning.

The more things change, the more things stay the same, as they say. Another billionaire, another company, this time “All Elite Wrestling” or AEW. Founded by Tony Khan in 2019, AEW is the modern day WCW, offering big money to former WWE wrestlers and broadcasted on TBS and TNT. WCW had Nitro, AEW has Dynamite. WWE has Smackdown, AEW has Rampage. Helmed by Khan, AEW hired some of the top wrestlers on the independent wrestling scene, as well as the top “free agents” formerly with WWE. Starting out as the wrestling fanatic's alternative to WWE, AEW found quick success but has faltered, with wrestlers having creative control over their characters (nobody wants to look bad). The first wave of AEW wrestlers joining WWE has begun, with Jade Cargill, Hamilton, Ontario's own Ethan Page, and Brian Pillman Jr. now in WWE.

More deeply embedded in pop culture than ever, its becoming increasingly interesting for me to attempt to navigate this niche section of “sports entertainment”, now viewing it through a creative lens, taking note of the quality of writing or storytelling within matches, the character arc, and overall presentation of it all. I long joke that it's “redneck Shakespeare” or a “stuntman's soap opera”, but in this current state I genuinely enjoy where pro wrestling is today.

Thank you for sticking with me on this, I know its not something people are itching to read but if you made it this far, have a brew on me.

I'm writing this intro on Thursday August 1st — I just finished reading my 11th book of 2024. As I was walking to the Newmarket Public Library to return my book (go support your local library NOW), I couldn't help but feel a little burst of happiness and pride in my chest.

In 2023, I set a personal goal on my StoryGraph account to read 12 books within the year — 1 book each month. Sounds easy, right? I finished 2023 with 10 books read, and I just barely made it to that 10th book.

Now, a little over half way through 2024, and I've read more books than I read in the entirety of 2023. Lets go! Woohoo! What a return to form!

Anywho, as I continue my goal to get back into regular reading, I've decided to share my thoughts on my reads with you — via the trusted format of the Reading Round-Up.

So here we go!

Reading Stats for January to June 2024

• Total Books Read: 10
• Reading Mediums: 9 physical books, 1 online
• Books Owned vs. Borrowed: 6 books owned, 2 books borrowed from friends, 1 book borrowed from library, 1 book read for free online

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: What if men built a tower from Earth to Heaven-and broke through to Heaven's other side? What if we discovered that the fundamentals of mathematics were arbitrary and inconsistent? What if there were a science of naming things that calls life into being from inanimate matter? What if exposure to an alien language forever changed our perception of time? What if all the beliefs of fundamentalist Christianity were literally true, and the sight of sinners being swallowed into fiery pits were a routine event on city streets? These are the kinds of outrageous questions posed by the stories of Ted Chiang. Stories of your life... and others.

My Thoughts: Recommended to me by Noah and Elisa, I was looking forward to reading this collection of sci-fi short stories. I hadn't read much sci-fi (readers will know that I have a bit of a reputation of being a serial romance reader), so this felt like a good introduction into the genre. The fact that it was a collection of short stories was also appealing to me at the time, as I was struggling to get out of a bad reading slump.

I have to say, I am definitely interested in reading more science fiction now. Each one of Ted Chiang’s short stories is wonderfully unique, tonally diverse, and moving in different ways. I’m honestly impressed that Ted Chiang wrote all of these short stories, since each one feels like it could have been penned by different authors with different writing styles, beliefs, interests, etc.

Here are my quick thoughts on each short story:

Tower of Babylon (4 / 5) — An incredibly well-written retelling of the construction and journey up the tower of Babylon. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing style and the voice of the main character. Such a great introduction into Ted Chiang’s work.

Understand (5 / 5) — This story reminded me of Flowers for Algernon in the best way (one of the few sci-fi stories I've read before, I love it). I’m a sucker for stories about a main character who is gaining superhuman levels of intelligence and losing themselves mentally as a result, and the writing style reflects that. Definitely one of my favourite stories in this collection.

Division by Zero (2 / 5) — Found myself kind of skimming through this one. Didn't find it too interesting or memorable.

Story of Your Life (4 / 5) — The story that inspired the film Arrival ! Reading this made me appreciate how well the film captured just how mind-bendy the whole concept is. Very well executed, very well-written.

Seventy-Two Letters (5 / 5) — LOVED the Victorian-England-but-steampunk setting in this story! Also loved the concept of golems and how they would be used in this alternate universe. Great pacing and tension throughout the plot, I was engaged throughout the entire story. Definitely one of my favourite stories in this collection.

The Evolution of Human Science (2 / 5) — Extremely short and I'm not gonna lie, I barely remember what it was about. Not very interesting or memorable, especially considering that the story before and the story after it were such bangers.

Hell Is The Absence of God (5 / 5) — THIS BANGER. My #1 favourite story in this collection! WOW. Set in a world where God, Heaven, Hell, souls, miracles, and angels actually exist / are universally known, this story explores how actually devastating this world would be. Imagine, you could see a loved one suffering in hell if you look down at the right spot?! You could know people who have lost their eyes (or worse...) due to accidentally seeing an angel?! Insanity. The collateral damage described during an angel's visitation, wow... So incredibly well-written — it was one of those stories that are so good, you lose yourself a little bit when it's over. If you want to read any of Ted Chiang's works or just dip your toe into sci-fi short stories, I cannot recommend Hell Is The Absence of God enough.

Liking What You See: A Documentary (4 / 5) — I liked the documentary script format of this story, as well as its exploration into themes of society's (kind of fucked up) relationship with physical beauty and our perception of others/ourselves. A very good story, but a little underwhelming to be the last story in the collection.

My personal ranking of Ted Chiang's short stories in Stories of Your Life and Others :

1. Hell Is The Absence of God
2. Understand
3. Seventy-Two Letters
4. Tower of Babylon
5. Story of Your Life
6. Liking What You See: A Documentary
7. Division by Zero
8. The Evolution of Human Science

My (Overall) Rating: 4 / 5

You, Again by Kate Goldbeck

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: When Ari and Josh first meet, the wrong kind of sparks fly. They hate each other. Instantly.

A free-spirited, struggling comedian who likes to keep things casual, Ari sublets, takes gigs, and she never sleeps over after hooking up. Born-and-bred Manhattanite Josh has ambitious plans: Take the culinary world by storm, find The One, and make her breakfast in his spotless kitchen. They have absolutely nothing in common... except that they happen to be sleeping with the same woman.

Ari and Josh never expect their paths to cross again. But years later, as they're both reeling from ego-bruising breakups, a chance encounter leads to a surprising connection: friendship. Turns out, spending time with your former nemesis is fun when you're too sad to hate each other — and too sad for hate sex.

As friends-without-benefits, they find comfort in late-night Netflix binges, swiping through each other's online dating profiles, and bickering across boroughs. It's better than romance. Until one night, the unspoken boundaries of their platonic relationship begin to blur...

My Thoughts: Before I go on, yes... This book was originally Reylo fanfiction... Shut up! I didn't know until I finished the book, leave me alone! Anyways...

I will admit that I did tear through this book. I'm a fan of romances that take place over the span of years, which this book does quite well. The premise / introduction was hilarious and very “classic rom-com” — they meet because they're both sleeping with the same woman?! C'mon, that's funny.

I really enjoyed how Ari and Josh's friendship was developed, and how it slowly became romantic. It felt realistic, or as realistic as a rom-com could be. I loved the way New York City was described throughout the story as well: Obviously romanticized, I know, but it felt cozy — like the New York City we know and love from You've Got Mail (1998) and When Harry Met Sally (1989).

The sex scenes... I admit, they were hot as hell. They also felt earned, the story didn't rush into them, which I appreciate.

The third act conflict that happens in every romance — you know, the one that forces them to separate for a bit before they inevitably get back together — didn't feel completely forced either. It made sense, it sounded like something I would hear a friend go through. The only thing that annoyed me was the main girl Ari's logic / reasoning towards the end of the book. Ari's character was kind of all over the place, but especially towards the end. The ending made me roll my eyes a bit, but it was still satisfactory enough that it didn't ruin the whole story for me. However, for that kinda awkward ending and Ari's character being a bit annoying towards the end, I did remove a star from my final rating.

My Rating: 4 / 5

Roaming by Jillian Tamaki & Mariko Tamaki

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from my friend Nick

Synopsis: Spring break, 2009. High school best friends Zoe and Dani are now freshman college students, meeting in a place they’ve wanted to visit forever: New York City. Tagging along is Dani’s classmate Fiona, a mercurial art student with an opinion on everything. Together, the three cram in as much of the city as possible, gleefully falling into tourist traps, pondering so-called great works of art, sidestepping creeps, and eating lots and lots of pizza (folded in half, of course).

My Thoughts: WOW this graphic novel has such beautiful artwork! Such simplistic yet gorgeous colouring, I loved the orange and purple tones that were used throughout the book. There were full pages that I would just stare at without reading anything, just admiring the artwork — the sign of a high quality graphic novel.

Plot-wise, I enjoyed this story. It was a sweet, slice-of-life story about 3 friends (well, 2 friends and some bitch, more on that in a second) exploring New York City for the first time together. I loved the way New York City was depicted as well, it felt as grand and wonderful (and a little bit seedy but still cool) as these sweet characters were seeing it.

The third character in this story, Fiona, caused the majority of the conflict in this book. At the end of the book, I guess I was supposed to empathize with her... but SIKE, I hated this bitch! You want me to feel bad for her? She was so horrible to Zoe and Dani, and nearly ruined their trip! Fuck her!

I guess this book did a good job at making me feel defensive for Zoe and Dani, so kudos to the authors there. However, if you were trying to make me feel bad for this Fiona bitch — valiant effort, but not this time.

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Borrowed from my friend Nick

Synopsis: Before there was Kate Beaton, New York Times bestselling cartoonist of Hark! A Vagrant, there was Katie Beaton of the Cape Breton Beatons, specifically Mabou — a tight-knit seaside community where the lobster is as abundant as beaches, fiddles, and Gaelic folk songs. With the singular goal of paying off her student loans, Katie heads out west to take advantage of Alberta’s oil rush — part of the long tradition of East Coasters who seek gainful employment elsewhere when they can’t find it in the homeland they love so much. Katie encounters the harsh reality of life in the oil sands, where trauma is an everyday occurrence yet is never discussed.

My Thoughts: Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. If I could only recommend one graphic novel to everyone, it would be this one. Wow.

Ducks is a phenomenal autobiography by Kate Beaton. Her art style is remarkable, striking a wonderful balance between coyly simplistic and stunningly detailed. She really did capture the Albertan landscape so well.

Cut off from the rest of civilization, Beaton depicts oil sands workers as an insular community — lonely, part of a misogynistic boys' club, often depressed but unable/unwilling to talk about mental health. Beaton showcases this world in which loneliness drives many men to behaviours they wouldn't even consider in their “real lives” back at home. Harassment and sexual assault are either considered normal or brushed under the rug while working at the oil sands — trigger warning there for potential readers.

Beaton worked at the oil sands for two years, and she makes the scars that the experience left on her clear. Her artwork being in all shades of grey really adds to the environment's dreary feel.

Beaton also touches on the environmental impact of the oil sands, but her focus is primarily on the human impact of living in such extreme isolation and being expendable... all to make a decent wage.

The ending really left its mark on me — it's wonderfully done. Highly, highly recommend.

My Rating: 5 / 5

Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: Hark! A Vagrant is an uproarious romp through history and literature seen through the sharp, contemporary lens of New Yorker cartoonist and comics sensation Kate Beaton. No era or tome emerges unscathed as Beaton rightly skewers the Western world’s revolutionaries, leaders, sycophants, and suffragists while equally honing her wit on the hapless heroes, heroines, and villains of the best-loved fiction.

My Thoughts: I needed something a little bit more lighthearted after Ducks, and I was very curious about Kate Beaton's past work, so I picked up this anthology of her funny comics!

Kate Beaton has great comedic timing, it's seriously an impressive skill to have as a comics artist. I deeply admire her art style — it's so distinct, it's loose and light but she is such a master at facial expressions.

This was a quick, lighthearted read — while a couple of the comics fell a bit flat for me, it was overall a fun and funny collection.

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

Dune by Frank Herbert

This review has been removed in protest.

Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert

This review has been removed in protest.

Funny Story by Emily Henry

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: Daphne always loved the way her fiancé Peter told their story. How they met (on a blustery day), fell in love (over an errant hat), and moved back to his lakeside hometown to begin their life together. He really was good at telling it... Right up until the moment he realized he was actually in love with his childhood best friend Petra.

Which is how Daphne begins her new story: Stranded in beautiful Waning Bay, Michigan, without friends or family but with a dream job as a children’s librarian (that barely pays the bills), and proposing to be roommates with the only person who could possibly understand her predicament: Petra’s ex, Miles Nowak.

Scruffy and chaotic — with a penchant for taking solace in the sounds of heart break love ballads — Miles is exactly the opposite of practical, buttoned up Daphne, whose coworkers know so little about her they have a running bet that she’s either FBI or in witness protection. The roommates mainly avoid one another, until one day, while drowning their sorrows, they form a tenuous friendship and a plan. If said plan also involves posting deliberately misleading photos of their summer adventures together, well, who could blame them?

But it’s all just for show, of course, because there’s no way Daphne would actually start her new chapter by falling in love with her ex-fiancé’s new fiancée’s ex... Right?

My Thoughts: Oh, Emily Henry, the woman that you are. Readers may know (and if you don't yet, take note) — Emily Henry is my all-time favourite romance writer. Everything she touches turns to romance gold. I cannot recommend her books enough.

I adored Funny Story — I read it all within 48 hours. Each and every character felt real and unique, she has such a talent for writing realistic yet lovable characters.

The plot was fun and well-paced, the main couple's chemistry was great (I had a crush on Miles too), the sex scenes were hot yet sweet, the environment / town descriptions were so cozy, I just loved everything about this book. Definitely another comfort read that I am very happy to add to the Emily Henry section of my bookshelf.

In case you are curious, my current personal ranking for Emily Henry's books are:

(Note, these are all very close in ranking and are all 5 / 5 for me)

1. People We Meet On Vacation
2. Book Lovers
3. Beach Read
4. Funny Story
5. Happy Place

My Rating: 5 / 5

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett

Reading Medium: Physical

Owned vs. Borrowed: Owned

Synopsis: Cambridge professor Emily Wilde is good at many things: She is the foremost expert on the study of faeries. She is a genius scholar and a meticulous researcher who is writing the world's first encyclopaedia of faerie lore. But Emily Wilde is not good at people. She could never make small talk at a party — or even get invited to one. And she prefers the company of her books, her dog, Shadow, and the Fair Folk to other people.

So when she arrives in the hardscrabble village of Hrafnsvik, Emily has no intention of befriending the gruff townsfolk. Nor does she care to spend time with another new arrival: her dashing and insufferably handsome academic rival Wendell Bambleby, who manages to charm the townsfolk, get in the middle of Emily's research, and utterly confound and frustrate her.

But as Emily gets closer and closer to uncovering the secrets of the Hidden Ones — the most elusive of all faeries — lurking in the shadowy forest outside the town, she also finds herself on the trail of another mystery: Who is Wendell Bambleby, and what does he really want? To find the answer, she'll have to unlock the greatest mystery of all — her own heart.

My Thoughts: Oh, how I adored this book! Emily Wilde masterfully toes the line between cozy fantasy and dark fantasy — it's wonderful. Heather Fawcett's writing style is addictive, the chosen formatting of journal entries that fall somewhere between academic and personal was so much fun.

The world-building was immaculate. I loved delving into the extensive lore of the faeries, as well as meeting the townsfolk alongside Emily Wilde.

I really loved Emily Wilde and Wendell Bambleby as characters as well — I laughed out loud whenever Wendell “stole Emily's journal to write his own entries” and we got his perspective. It was so clever and fun. I was charmed by Wendell, but I was so impressed by Emily. It is rare to find a character in a fantasy world that relies on her wits rather than her strength to get out of a tricky situation. Seeing Emily Wilde outsmart her way out of faerie trickery, rather than waving a sword around and punching faeries in the face, was incredibly satisfying. It also made so much sense for her character — of course an expert on faeries would be this remarkably clever!

I loved this book. I highly recommend if you are looking for a good fantasy read. Stay tuned to hear my thoughts on the sequel, Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands, in my next Reading Round-Up!

My Rating: 5 / 5

Delicious in Dungeon (AKA Dungeon Meshi) by Ryoko Kui

Reading Medium: Online via MangaDex

Owned vs. Borrowed: Read for free online

Synopsis: When young adventurer Laios and his company are attacked and soundly thrashed by a dragon deep in a dungeon, the party loses all its money and provisions... and a member! They're eager to go back and save her, but there is just one problem: If they set out with no food or coin to speak of, they're sure to starve on the way! But Laios comes up with a brilliant idea: “Let's eat the monsters!” Slimes, basilisks, and even dragons... None are safe from the appetites of these dungeon-crawling gourmands!

My Thoughts: Wow! Dungeon Meshi!

Honestly, I loved this manga. I haven't read a manga this good since Fullmetal Alchemist — which is high praise, considering that Fullmetal Alchemist is one of my all-time favourite stories in general.

I will never get over Ryoko Kui's artistic skills and character design, because WOW. No one's out here doing character design like Ryoko Kui. She has the opposite of Same Face Syndrome — every single character had such a refreshing, unique design. Even down to their noses, no character had the same nose! As an artist, I am on my knees in awe over her character design.

On top of her character design, her artwork throughout the manga was just stunning. Some of my favourite panels were in the Griffin chapter — there were so many times I would just stop reading and zoom into random details in her artwork to admire them. She's gotta be one of the best manga/comics artists out there right now, wow.

In terms of plot, I thoroughly enjoyed Dungeon Meshi. I fell in love with each character — especially Marcille, who is so literally me it's insane. The plot was so unique, the world-building was phenomenal, the ending had me smiling so much it hurt.

If you're looking to get into manga, or if you're looking for your next manga to read, I highly recommend Delicious in Dungeon.

My Rating: 5 / 5

This has been Kaitlyn's first Reading Round-Up (yay!), signing off!

Much later in life did I learn that this game was Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo 64.

The year is 2008, my brothers invite some friends over to play on our Nintendo Wii. They bring this game I've never heard of before, apparently it just came out. I got to play as Kirby and beat up Mario and Link and some more characters I did not recognize. I was addicted, and fortunately, we decided to get the game for ourselves too. I spent many many hours appreciating every nook and cranny of that game, even though I sucked at it.

This game was Super Smash Bros Brawl for the Nintendo Wii.

The year is 2012, my middle brother installs this mod for Brawl on our Wii. He says it's to make the game more balanced. I didn't really get it but it looked cool with the purple menus. I think I am better at this game than I was before, but I still consistently lose to my brother when we fight each other. Despite this I am enthralled, plus it has Mewtwo now!!

This was Project M.

The year is 2014. I've somehow stumbled upon a livestream of a Super Smash Bros. tournament. Names get thrown around I don't recognize. Two players approach the camera and begin playing. I have played Project M before but I've never seen it being played like this. The skill on display by these players was nothing short of bewildering. Even though I didn't understand what was going on half the time I couldn't help but watch the spectacle.

This was Apex 2014.

The year is 2015. I now own a 3ds with Smash 4 on it, I am going to put in 200 hours just fighting the level 9 CPU. From Apex I found another tournament, the biggest fighting game tournament in the world. The grand stage for Smash Bros. but also many other more traditional fighting games. I see the final frontier of fighting games around the world, and I am amazed. I was familiar with the genre. I have been exposed to Street Fighter Ex plus Alpha, Street Fighter 4, and Marvel vs Capcom 3 on our home consoles by now. However, to me, these games were impenetrably complicated, so I just stuck to smash. “I could never learn those games,” I thought to myself.

That tournament... was EVO.

The year is 2016. I continue to play Smash 4 and dabble in Smash Bros. Melee. I found a website that lets me play Melee online, but I live in the UAE so games are scarce. Watching Evo becomes a yearly ritual. I wake up at 2 am to catch the Smash grand finals. It's lonely, I silently cheer at my computer desk while my family sleeps. I move back to Canada. While browsing the Smash Bros. forums I find a tournament being held in Kingston. I enter the tournament (won one tho btw) and begin entering weekly tournaments held at Queen's. They have other fighting games there too.

“I could never learn those games, but they look really cool,” I think to myself.

The year is 2017. I play mainly Melee now. I continue to attend the Queen's weeklies. I watch analysis videos on fighting games. They look awesome. I pick up another game called Rivals of Aether, it's a lot like Melee, it's pretty fun. I continue to watch Evo. At this point I try to watch all the games being played at Evo, I find them all very engaging.

“I wish I could play those games, but I have nobody to learn it with,” I think to myself.

The year is 2018. I enter University. I managed to convince my floormate to try and learn Dragon Ball FighterZ with me. We played a few games, it didn't stick. I prioritize doing my schoolwork and socializing with my new friends, so I don't have time to enter the weeklies anymore.

Years pass... I continue to watch Evo from the sidelines and dabble in Melee.

I started fencing too, my first thought is how similar it is to fighting games.

The year is 2024. I have made many friends from my university days. I could even talk to some of them about fighting games. One of them in particular is heavily invested in Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike. This year, Evo announces 3rd Strike as part of its main lineup, a once in a lifetime opportunity. He says he will go no matter what, and a group of us decide to join him. I have been watching for years now, what better chance to go than now? Since we're going, why not enter the tournament too? The unrealized dream of playing a fighting game begins to materialize in front of my very eyes. We begin training, we all suck equally.

Months pass, we travel to New York to compete in a smaller tournament. We meet our friend's mentor, who remarks that we have come far, I'm flattered. The next day we fight, and I win a game! We learn many things, and witness levels of skill we could never imagine. We talk to some of the people, one of them tells us “It's good to have a rival”. I agree.

We return home, that phrase echoing in my mind, and continue training. Every inch I gain over my rival is returned twofold. A silent arms race between two opponents. The day of competition looms over us all. With our weapons stockpiled and our blades sharp, we embark on the journey to the world stage.

Then our flight got canceled. That dream, once so clear now disintegrating away like sand through my fingers. We rebook our flights, but they are too late for us to compete. I try not to cry, I don't know if I succeeded.

I wake at 3 am, beaten and broken by the emotional lashes of the previous 12 hours. I can't sleep, so I look for a solution. There is a flight that will take me there on time, at a pretty penny. I reevaluate some financial decisions and draw out the money necessary to make it, I can't let it end here.

Despite it all, I make it, and enter the tournament. I defeat my first opponent, and feel confident. Then I lose to the second. “All that money just to do the same as NYC?” I fear. I cannot let it end here. I approach my third opponent, one more loss and it's lights out. I defeat him. “At least it will be an improvement” I tell myself. Then I beat my next opponent, and the next. My blade is sharp, forged in the flames of a 6 month rivalry. I approach my next opponent, and find his claws sharper...

To the world, I may have lost. But to myself, I have won. Not the whole tournament, but my dream. All these years of imagining what it's like, of wishing to be at Evo myself, of hoping to break the barrier that faced me every other time I tried. There I was, at Evo, having beaten 4 other people, in an actual real fighting game that is not Smash.

I stand at the ridge of this cold mountain and look at the view. My shoes dusty with the many steps of my journey. The icy peak barely visible through the clouds, but the view at this height is unlike anything I thought it would be. The vast lush valley sits below me and I admire how far I have come. I could continue to climb, and maybe I will, but those extra steps will be accompanied by the unending thought. “I did it...

...I've finally played a fighting game.”

Bit of a shorter review this quarter 😊

Stats breakdown from Apr – June 2024

• Total books read: ~4
• Reading mediums: all audiobooks
• Time spent reading: 24.5 hours

Books Read + Reviews

Dune by Frank Herbert Medium: audiobook

Truthfully, my review of Dune as a whole is not much different than what I wrote for Book 1. I really enjoyed reading it, as well as the weekly discussions and memes it spawned. I can tell that this is the type of book where you can get something new out of it each time you read, so I may revisit it in time. All that to say, the book was very unique, clever, and well done in my opinion. Looking forward to reading Dune Messiah next.

Everything I know About Love by Dolly Alderton Medium: Audiobook

I added this book to my TBR after hearing Dolly Alderton’s dinner party mentorship to Jessica Pan in the book I read last quarter. This book felt like a grown up version of when you were a kid and read those Chicken Soup for the Soul books. The book is a collection of vignettes from Alderton’s twenties that made me laugh, cry, and brought me comfort. Alderton tells the stories of her youth in a way I found quite riveting, personally nostalgic, and inspiring at times. She also occasionally peppers in recipes or other comedic bits that made this feel like I was reading through her life's scrapbook. The book has been adapted as a TV series and I think it lends itself well to that given how I felt like I had followed her and her friends through multiple seasons. Looking forward to watching it in the future. I also liked the transition from girlhood to womanhood and themes of friendship. Someone summed this up as a cross between Bridget Jones’ Diary, Sex and The City, and a self-help book and I'd say that's pretty dead on. Not groundbreaking but enjoyable and good for the soul.

Also if you saw that cute trend going around sometime ago to the audio of “nearly everything I know about love I learnt in my long-term friendships with women”, it comes from this author.

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell Medium: Audiobook

Amanda Montell is both an author and a linguist who uses the latter as the lens in which she views the topics she addresses in her books. I read her first book “Wordsl*t: A Feminist Guide to Talking Back the English Language” back in 2021 and have taken a lot of learnings from it to this day. I highly recommend everyone read it at some point because what she discusses and uncovers from meta-analysis is not quite what you would expect (especially following the girlboss era).

That said, I was curious about her second book – Cultish. The title of the book is also what she has named the language that surrounds cults and other fanatical groups (kinda like a portmanteau of Cult + English). This book is paced more like a six part video essay and makes its way through “traditional” cults (Scientology, Jonestown, etc), MLMs, fitness societies (cross-fit, peleton, etc), and more. Like many others, I've always been curious about what drives people to join cults, how leaders amass their followings, and if a certain type of person is more likely to end up in a cult. Montell also touches on some of the research on this (while infusing her linguistics lens) and pulls at the threads of all these fanatical groups (big or small) to weave an engaging and interesting tapestry of this culture. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook and it's given me a lot to think about since reading. This has been my favourite non-fiction read of 2024 thus far.

Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert Medium: Audiobook

I blitzed this as my hold finally came in after the bookclub had finished this. While I appreciated the brevity of this one, I unfortunately didn't like it as much as Dune. But maybe that's to be expected. Aside from that, I think my sentiments echo those of other bookclub members (or at least the ones I heard when Saturday coffee was hosted in my backyard).

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Super Factory Manager (SFM) is a Minecraft mod which introduces a programming language for logistical tasks. The mod enables users to move items, fluids, and other resources between inventories with high precision and throughput.

You place cables in the world to connect inventories, followed by a manager block that contains the disk which contains the program.

Caption: A demonstration of the mod moving items between chests

Caption: The in-game code editor

Caption: SFM program

NAME "A simple program"

EVERY 20 TICKS DO
    -- on their own, input statements do nothing
    -- there is no item buffer
    INPUT FROM a

    -- all the magic happens here
    OUTPUT TO b
END

There exists a bug in the mod where the manager suddently 'stops working'.

My leading hypothesis is that my caching logic is at fault. Unfortunately, all attempts at reproducing the bug have failed. The only indicators of its existence are the multitudes of people joining my Discord server to ask why their stuff isn't working. Not good.

Learning programming is frustrating enough without having to consider that you're not the one doing something wrong.

Thus, addressing the bug in the is of the highest priority.

The Update to the Mod

Included in the wave of tiny improvements in the latest latest version of the mod (4.16.0), one feature stands above the others: the logging.

Traditionally, Minecraft has a console that displays the logs from the game, which mods can contribute to. Usually when a mod is being uppity, the logs are the best source of information.

Caption: logs from Minecraft when launched using PrismMC. The game has safely exited.

Things get complicated when playing on a server. Non-admin players cannot see the logs of the server. How am I to get debug information from my users without road-blocks like needing admin assistance?

Thus, each manager block now has its own logging implementation that synchronizes to clients. Players can see the logs regarding their programs, isolated from the concerns of the normal logs of the game.

Caption: class definitions used in my logging

// My thing
public record TranslatableLogEvent(
    Level level, // Log level, e.g. INFO, WARN, ERROR
    Instant instant, // Time of the event
    TranslatableContents contents
)

// From the base game
public class TranslatableContents implements ComponentContents {
   private final String key;
   private final Object[] args;
}

Vanilla Minecraft has helpfully established TranslatableComponent for communicating stuff from the server to the client to be displayed in the user's language of choice. By reusing this class, we easily get the benefits of the game's localization system for user-facing logs.

Caption: an example of using a TranslatableComponent

ConfirmScreen confirmscreen = new ConfirmScreen(
    this::confirmResult,
    Component.translatable("deathScreen.quit.confirm"),
    CommonComponents.EMPTY,
    Component.translatable("deathScreen.titleScreen"),
    Component.translatable("deathScreen.respawn")
);

Game Versions

The process of releasing updates for Super Factory Manager is complicated by the fact that the mod supports multiple versions of Minecraft:

• 1.19.2
• 1.19.4
• 1.20
• 1.20.1
• 1.20.2
• 1.20.3
• 1.20.4

Changes between versions can be substantial: GUI and capability reworks, Minecraft Forge drama leading to the release of NeoForge, and other mods I interact with not being available on all the versions I support.

To accommodate the slight variations in my code between the versions, I have opted to create a git branch for each version of the game that is supported.

When I work on the mod, I work on the oldest branch (1.19.2) until satisfaction, then I merge the changes to the next branch, going up the version pairs until the latest version has all the changes.

merge
1.19.2 => 1.19.4
1.19.4 => 1.20
1.20 => 1.20.1
etc.

Sometimes, methods I depend on are pulled out from under me, or are made obsolete in these version upgrades.

Caption: my old code

private Button.OnTooltip buildTooltip(LocalizationEntry entry) {
	return (btn, pose, mx, my) -> renderTooltip(
			pose,
			font.split(
					entry.getComponent(),
					Math.max(
							width
							/ 2
							- 43,
							170
					)
			),
			mx,
			my
	);
}

Caption: my new code, leveraging a new base-game method

private Tooltip buildTooltip(LocalizationEntry entry) {
	return Tooltip.create(entry.getComponent());
}

It is interesting to observe how I [fail to] leverage abstractions to minimize the differences between versions. Some things are only visible after jumping between versions, adding another dimension to programming.

Caption: A layered representation of git branches as stacked pages, Aero inspired

Interacting with multiple branches is best accompanied by opening all the versions at once in IntelliJ, requiring you to clone the repo multiple times. This lets you jump around the code on any version without friction, and it helps avoid giving Gradle an aneurysm.

To merge branches from two clones (without needing to push), you can fetch the other repo path, followed by git merge FETCH_HEAD. I made a helper script to automate this. It pauses in the event of merge conflicts, where I switch over to IntelliJ which has great tooling.

TODO: make the script use rebase instead of fast-forward

Release Process

I've created a simple Command Line Interface (CLI) for helping me run my scripts for the release process. I have a folder named “actions” which contains nicely named scripts which can be invoked with no arguments, and I have a entrypoint script that uses fzf to show me the scripts by name to have me choose which to run.

Caption: the PowerShell script I use

# Action loop
while ($true) {
  # Prompt user to select an action
  $action = Get-ChildItem -Path actions `
    | Select-Object -ExpandProperty name `
    | Sort-Object -Descending `
    | fzf --prompt "Action: " --header "Select an action to run"
  if ([string]::IsNullOrWhiteSpace($action)) {
    break
  }

  # Run the selected action
  . ".\actions\$action"
  
  # Leave the action display on the screen for a moment
  # (the action loop clears it with fzf)
  pause
}

Caption: video of the action script in action

It takes way too long for the jars folder to open in explorer.exe off-screen here

I present to you the (shortened) instructions I wrote to myself for the release process:

Manual: Bump `mod_version` in gradle.properties
Manual: Commit bump
Action: Propagate changes
Action: Run gameTestServer for all versions
Action: Build
Action: Wipe jars summary dir
Action: Collect jars
Action: Update PrismMC test instances to use latest build output
Action: Update test servers to latest build output
Action: Launch PrismMC
Action: Launch test server

for each version:
    Launch version from PrismMC
    Multiplayer -> join localhost
    Break previous setup
    Build new setup from scratch -- ensure core gameplay loop is always tested
    Validate changelog accuracy
    /stop
    Quit game

Action: Tag
Action: Push all
... upload jars

The Problem

I test mc1.20.3 for problems. No issues found.

Caption: SFM logs working, singleplayer

I test mc1.20.4 for problems. The logs are not shoing when playing on a server, but they work in singleplayer.

Caption: SFM logs not working, multiplayer

This game update included significant changes to packet handling.

What should happen is that the default text is cleared and some logs should be streamed in.

It works in single player. It does not work when playing on a server.

There is nothing abnormal in the server logs. The client logs, however, reveal the first piece of the puzzle:

Caption: client logs of a stacktrace incriminating my mod

[01:43:56] [Render thread/ERROR] [minecraft/BlockableEventLoop]: Error executing task on Client
java.util.concurrent.CompletionException: io.netty.util.IllegalReferenceCountException: refCnt: 0
	at java.util.concurrent.CompletableFuture.encodeThrowable(CompletableFuture.java:315)
	at java.util.concurrent.CompletableFuture.completeThrowable(CompletableFuture.java:320)
	at java.util.concurrent.CompletableFuture$AsyncSupply.run$$$capture(CompletableFuture.java:1770) 
	...
	at ca.teamdman.sfm.common.logging.TranslatableLogger.decode(TranslatableLogger.java:56)
	at ca.teamdman.sfm.common.net.ClientboundManagerLogsPacket.handleInner(ClientboundManagerLogsPacket.java:69)

Caption: Jujutsu Kaisen screengrab: “We are the exception!”

IntelliJ helpfully recognizes the stack trace and creates links to jump to the offending code. This brings us to our handleInner method as a possible culprit.

Caption: the logs packet handle methods

public record ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
        int windowId,
        FriendlyByteBuf logsBuf
) implements CustomPacketPayload {
	...
	// called by game code
	public static void handle(
            ClientboundManagerLogsPacket msg, PlayPayloadContext context
    ) {
        context.workHandler().submitAsync(msg::handleInner);
    }

	public void handleInner() {
		// we are on the client, so we can safely use getInstance() to get the current player
		LocalPlayer player = Minecraft.getInstance().player;
        if (player == null
            || !(player.containerMenu instanceof ManagerContainerMenu menu) // pattern match :D
            || menu.containerId != this.windowId()) {
            SFM.LOGGER.error("Invalid logs packet received, ignoring.");
            return;
        }
		var logs = TranslatableLogger.decode(this.logsBuf);
		menu.logs.addAll(logs);
	}

Caption: the method that decodes multiple log entries

public static ArrayDeque<TranslatableLogEvent> decode(FriendlyByteBuf buf) {
	int size = buf.readVarInt(); // this line throws the error
	ArrayDeque<TranslatableLogEvent> contents = new ArrayDeque<>(size);
	for (int i = 0; i < size; i++) {
		contents.add(TranslatableLogEvent.decode(buf));
	}
	return contents;
}

Caption: ManagerBlockEntity sending a log update packet to a player

MutableInstant hasSince = new MutableInstant();
if (!menu.logs.isEmpty()) {
	hasSince.initFrom(menu.logs.getLast().instant());
}
ArrayDeque<TranslatableLogEvent> logsToSend = logger.getLogsAfter(hasSince);
if (!logsToSend.isEmpty()) {
	// Add the latest entry to the server copy
	// since the server copy is only used for checking what the latest log timestamp is
	menu.logs.add(logsToSend.getLast());

	// Send the logs
	while (!logsToSend.isEmpty()) {
		int remaining = logsToSend.size();
		PacketDistributor.PLAYER.with(player).send(
			ClientboundManagerLogsPacket.drainToCreate(
				menu.containerId,
				logsToSend
			)
		);
		if (logsToSend.size() >= remaining) {
			throw new IllegalStateException("Failed to send logs, infinite loop detected");
		}
	}
}

It's dying when we try to read the number of logs to decode. It's not even an IndexOutOfBoundsException, it's something more sinister.

Caption: Goblin Slayer screengrab: “And there are goblins near there.”

This packet is a little odd, compared to most others. It directly stores a byte buffer object instead of a useful type like Collection<TranslatableLogEvent>.

This is a consequence of the way I batch logs together across multiple packets to avoid hitting max packet length problems.

To properly maximize packet size (to minimize the number of packets), we use an algorithm to convert log entries to individual byte buffers. We add those buffers to the current packet's buffer, and we start a new packet if it would have gone over the byte limit.

This means that the byte-encoding of this data happens earlier than usual; earlier than the packet constructor.

Caption: the packet's encoding and decoding methods

public record ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
        int windowId,
        FriendlyByteBuf logsBuf
) implements CustomPacketPayload {
	...
	// called by game code
	@Override
    public void write(FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf) {
        encode(this, friendlyByteBuf);
    }
    public static void encode(
		ClientboundManagerLogsPacket msg,
		FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf
    ) {
        friendlyByteBuf.writeVarInt(msg.windowId());
        friendlyByteBuf.writeBytes(msg.logsBuf); // forward the bytes
    }
	
	// called by game code
	public static ClientboundManagerLogsPacket decode(FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf) {
        return new ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
                friendlyByteBuf.readVarInt(),
                friendlyByteBuf
        );
    }

Did you notice?

In the decode method, we saved a reference to the buffer object we received as a parameter, instead of copying the information to a buffer we own.

We are hunting for some use-after-free-ish IllegalReferenceCountException: refCnt: 0 problem, and this object reuse (borrow) is sketchy as hell.

Caption: Frieren screengrab: “That's what my experience as a mage is telling me.”

Here lies a critical difference between 1.20.3 and 1.20.4: the buffer object is released after the decode call in the later version, before the handle method's async work is invoked.

Getting to this point was pretty straightforward (😭)

The fix should be to make our own buffer object instead of storing a reference to the one we passed in, right?

Caption: the decode method now creates a buffer object

public static void encode(
            ClientboundManagerLogsPacket msg, FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf
) {
	friendlyByteBuf.writeVarInt(msg.windowId());
	friendlyByteBuf.writeBytes(msg.logsBuf);
}

public static ClientboundManagerLogsPacket decode(FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf) {
	int windowId = friendlyByteBuf.readVarInt();
	FriendlyByteBuf logsBuf = new FriendlyByteBuf(Unpooled.buffer());
	friendlyByteBuf.readBytes(logsBuf);
	return new ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
			windowId,
			logsBuf
	);
}

Not quite.

Caption: the client gets disconnected when logs are received

Perhaps pre-allocating the buffer will fix that?

Caption: giving the buffer a size

public static void encode(
		ClientboundManagerLogsPacket msg, FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf
) {
	friendlyByteBuf.writeVarInt(msg.windowId());
	friendlyByteBuf.writeBytes(msg.logsBuf);
}

public static ClientboundManagerLogsPacket decode(FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf) {
	int windowId = friendlyByteBuf.readVarInt();
	FriendlyByteBuf logsBuf = new FriendlyByteBuf(Unpooled.buffer(friendlyByteBuf.readableBytes()));
	friendlyByteBuf.readBytes(logsBuf, friendlyByteBuf.readableBytes());
	return new ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
			windowId,
			logsBuf
	);
}

Kinda.

Caption: SFM logs still not working

There's an IndexOutOfBoundsException in the logs now.

There were a few more iterations before I arrived at the working version

Further investigation (breakpoints) reveals that the encode method is actually being hit twice for the same packet. This is attributable to the introduction of a game-native packet splitting mechanism in the 1.20.4 update.

Captions: different stack traces both calling encode

The encode method I wrote did not anticipate being called multiple times for the same packet.

Caption: javadoc that tells us we are draining the object

/**
 * Transfers the specified source buffer's data to this buffer starting at
 * the current {@code writerIndex} until the source buffer becomes
 * unreadable, and increases the {@code writerIndex} by the number of
 * the transferred bytes.  This method is basically same with
 * {@link #writeBytes(ByteBuf, int, int)}, except that this method
 * increases the {@code readerIndex} of the source buffer by the number of
 * the transferred bytes while {@link #writeBytes(ByteBuf, int, int)}
 * does not.
 * If {@code this.writableBytes} is less than {@code src.readableBytes},
 * {@link #ensureWritable(int)} will be called in an attempt to expand
 * capacity to accommodate.
 */
public abstract ByteBuf writeBytes(ByteBuf src);

The working solution involves calling a different method to avoid the modifying behaviour.

Caption: the encode method no longer drains the object

public static void encode(
		ClientboundManagerLogsPacket msg, FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf
) {
	friendlyByteBuf.writeVarInt(msg.windowId());
	friendlyByteBuf.writeVarInt(msg.logsBuf.readableBytes());
	friendlyByteBuf.writeBytes(msg.logsBuf, 0, msg.logsBuf.readableBytes()); // !!!IMPORTANT!!!
	// We use this write method specifically to NOT modify the reader index.
	// The encode method may be called multiple times, so we want to ensure it is idempotent.
}

public static ClientboundManagerLogsPacket decode(FriendlyByteBuf friendlyByteBuf) {
	int windowId = friendlyByteBuf.readVarInt();

	int size = friendlyByteBuf.readVarInt(); // don't trust readableBytes
	// https://discord.com/channels/313125603924639766/1154167065519861831/1192251649398419506

	FriendlyByteBuf logsBuf = new FriendlyByteBuf(Unpooled.buffer(size));
	friendlyByteBuf.readBytes(logsBuf, size);
	return new ClientboundManagerLogsPacket(
			windowId,
			logsBuf
	);
}

Caption: SFM logs working, multiplayer

The additional code that encodes the length of the byte buffer technically isn't necessary since we can use the readBytes method to just read the rest of the buffer, but it's better to be explicit about our assumptions.

Perhaps a future change will give us a buffer that is shared between packets, expecting us to only read as much as we wrote. It is good to have some warning in place if our assumptions are violated.

At least everything works now.

Closing Remarks

Attempting to reproduce the resolution process of the bug was tricky, even with git and IntelliJ local history at my disposal. There was a behaviour I could not recreate for a gif that I wasted a lot of time trying for. 😥

Documenting the problem solving process is hard.

My life would have been easier writing this article if I had git commit'd at some key moments. Oh well.

The bug still exists in the mod, but at least now I can tell users to send me their logs.

The conceit for this article came after walking out of the theater with Kaitlyn. We had just finished watching Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse. I, having started the day not knowing it was Part 1 of 2, was brutally disappointed by the ending. How could they just leave it on a cliffhanger like that?!¹ And now I need to wait five more years² to see how this ends?!³ Kaitlyn tried to soothe my dissatisfaction, but it was no use… I was already whining about “the good old days” (prehistory).

“Imagine if a wandering shaman storyteller came to your village, right? And you all sat around the bonfire and he told you the most beautiful, engaging, moving story you had ever heard. And halfway through, in the middle of the action, he packed up his bag and said he would return in twenty-four moons to finish it. You and the other villagers would beat him to death! If you were to do this in ancient amphitheaters, you would be stoned to death!”

Or would you?

Of course, we have no records of such a thing happening. But we do have discussions on the art of drama, dating back nearly 2,400 years. And theatre is exactly like film in literally every way, so… This is perfect! This led me to my copy of Aristotle’s Poetics. Highlighted and handed down to me from my father, it was exactly what I was looking for: A dead Greek guy to tell me if I was right or wrong.

Poetics is the oldest and (some would claim) most fundamental study of the art of drama. Written in the fourth century B.C.⁴ by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, it discusses the history, art, and process of theater. Spoken through the lens of Ancient Greek theatre, Aristotle analyzes what makes plots good, bad, compelling, or just straight incomprehensible. His treatise on the art is regarded as fundamental because Ancient Greek theatre is, in essence, the beginning of the Western dramatic lineage. As Ferguson remarks in his introductory essay of my copy, “He [Aristotle] got in on the ground floor.” (Pg. 1)

Most historians agree that Poetics was a series of lecture notes. Anyone who has taught or given a presentation knows how scant and fractured those can be. Poetics isn’t meant to be a strict series of rules on how to write a story or create a drama (though many later Renaissance readers took it as such). Ferguson reminds us, “The Poetics is much more like a cookbook than it is a textbook in elementary engineering.” (Pg. 3) On top of this, Poetics is incomplete. It’s part of a larger text (now lost) that discusses light poetry, Tragedy, and Comedy (As a side note, I would have loved to read what Aristotle had to say about comedic theatre). All we have to work with are his general points on playwriting, the dramatic art, and the analysis of Tragedy — Aristotle’s personal favourite kind of play. You will see plenty of references to Tragedy in specific through the selected quotes, though you should take it as a general reference to the art of drama. Many points laid out are repeated for the art of Epic poetry.

After a quick reading (as the text of Poetics is extremely short) and seeing remarkable similarities to modern screenwriting tips and contemporary film criticism, I thought it would be interesting to see how it holds up in modern times. Good thing I have after-hours access to the Time Travel Facility. Let’s bring Aristotle to 2024 and ask the eternal question: kino or bino?

NOTE: It goes without saying that we cannot really deduce anything about what Aristotle or any historical figure beyond the last 75 years would really think of modernity. I know you’ve all seen the posts I’m referring to. This article aims to be nothing more than a fun comparison of an ancient text on an ancient theatre to my own thoughts on modern cinema and its critics. For all I know, Aristotle would’ve loved nothing more than to chomp down on buttery popcorn, slurp Diet Sprite, and watch Free Guy (2021, Dir. Shawn Levy). As for myself, I love reading about our distant but all-too-human ancestors. Reading vulgar Roman graffiti, angry letters between feudal castles, upset customer reviews on Sumerian bronze… the more we change, the more we stay the same.

That’s enough talk though. Hop in the Accent, Ari, we are going to the Cineplex!

Art as Imitation

“Epic poetry and Tragedy, Comedy also and Dithyrambic poetry, and the music of the flute and of the lyre in most of their forms, are all in their general conception modes of imitation.” (Chapter I)

To begin, let's get a grasp on what art is for Aristotle. Put simply: All forms of art, from drama to music to painting, are ‘imitations’. This can most clearly be seen in art such as painting and sculpture in which the artist uses stone or paints to imitate something we physically see or can imagine. Imitation does not necessarily imply realism, since abstract and artistic forms can imitate subtle emotion, states, qualities of human conscious experience.

“Poets, like painters, musicians, and dancers, Aristotle says, all ‘imitate action’ in their various ways. By ‘action’ he means, not physical activity, but a movement-of-spirit, and by ‘imitation’ he means, not superficial copying, but the representation of the countless forms which the life of the human spirit may take, in the media of the arts: musical sound, paint, word, or gesture.” (Ferguson, Pg. 4)

It is a bit hard to conceptualize this ‘movement-of-spirit’ that is imitated. I personally think of it in the way an emotionally charged song can make you feel sad or heroic, even in the absence of lyrics. The song imitates the heroic or sorrowful ‘spirit’ in the swooping orchestra or pitiful piano. Aristotle says so much:

“...for even dancing imitates character, emotion, and action, by rhythmical movements.” (Chapter I)

Okay, so if art is imitation, why do we ‘do’ art? Why do we enjoy viewing and creating art? Aristotle says the reason is simple: Because it's built into our code, that we as humans are pre-programmed with two instincts. The first being a love for imitation, and the second being a love for harmony and rhythm:

“Poetry in the general seems to have sprung from two causes, each of them lying deep in our nature. First, the instinct of imitation is implanted in man from childhood, one difference between him and other animals being that he is the most imitative of living creatures, and through imitation learns his earliest lessons; and no less universal is the pleasure felt in things imitated. We have evidence of this in the facts of experience. Objects which in themselves we view with pain, we delight to contemplate when reproduced with minute fidelity: such as the forms of the most ignoble animals and of dead bodies. The cause of this again is that to learn gives the liveliest pleasure, not only to philosophers but to men in general; whose capacity, however, of learning is more limited. Thus the reason why men enjoy seeing a likeness is that in contemplating it they find themselves learning or inferring, and saying perhaps, ‘Ah, that is he.’” (Chapter IV)

We are social creatures. We learn through imitation. It’s how we can do… anything. It’s how we went from goo goo gaga baby to a functional, reasoning, and integrated adult. Our movement, language, culture, mannerisms, all spring from imitation. Because of this, we enjoy learning. Elevation of our knowledge through recognition is key to the Aristotelian pleasure in art. It is also why we find strange artistic enjoyment in things otherwise grotesque to us. Aristotle above mentions corpses and deformed animals. In real life these leave us disgusted and repulsed, but our pleasure in seeing them ‘within’ art is pleasure of recognition mixed with the safety of mere representation. Our boy, Brad Troemel, says it well: “...for a fleeting moment, visual art can mirror reality and show it back to us with a clarity like nothing else...”

Rhythm and harmony, the second instinct we hold, refers to a more general aesthetic enjoyment of the countless forms of art. Aristotle doesn’t speak much on why we enjoy harmony and rhythm, only that humans do.

“The Plot, then, is the first principle, and, as it were, the soul of a tragedy: Character holds the second place. A similar fact is seen in painting. The most beautiful colors, laid on confusedly, will not give as much pleasure as the chalk outline of a portrait. Thus Tragedy is the imitation of an action, and of the agents mainly with a view to the action.” (Chapter IV)

A scathing critique of abstract art from nearly two and a half millennia ago… Wow… Joking aside, I don’t think Aristotle would have hated contemporary, abstract art. He recognizes that colours in themselves can be beautiful. Arrangements of colour can be aesthetically pleasing and provoking in their own right:

“For if you happen not to have seen the original, the pleasure will be due not to the imitation as such, but to the execution, the coloring, or some such other cause.” (Chapter IV)

But missing the imitation — that subtle, barely conscious “aha!” of seeing something real represented in an artistic form — it is a lesser, baser pleasure. I, too, would take a napkin pencil sketch over a Jackson Pollock.⁵

Singularity of Action and Unity of Plot

“Unity of plot does not, as some persons think, consist in the unity of the hero. For infinitely various are the incidents in one man’s life which cannot be reduced to unity; and so, too, there are many actions of one man out of which we cannot make one action. Hence the error, as it appears, of all poets who have composed a Heracleid, a Theseid, or other poems of the kind. They imagine that as Heracles was one man, the story of Heracles must also be a unity. But Homer, as in all else he is of surpassing merit, here too—whether from art or natural genius—seems to have happily discerned the truth. In composing the Odyssey he did not include all the adventures of Odysseus—such as his wound on Parnassus, or his feigned madness at the mustering of the host—incidents between which there was no necessary or probable connection: but he made the Odyssey, and likewise the Iliad, to center round an action that in our sense of the word is one.” (Chapter VIII)

This is the first half of Chapter VIII. I include it in its entirety because I believe it fully represents the main thesis of Poetics. A plot is made good through its single ‘action’. The critical error of bad poets, playwrights, screenwriters, and authors is focusing on anything but that singular plot unity — whether that be characters, historical events, etc. When we sit down to write a plot, we are confronted with a near infinite source of events to pull from. Of course, we could write a Spider-Man movie that is full of scenes of Peter making dinner, taking a piss, scrolling on Instagram. But this isn’t a plot. It’s just a series of scenes with no uniting action. Aristotle cites Homer (a personal poetic hero of his) as an example of this. Homer had the whole mythos of the Odysseus⁶ to draw on for the Odyssey, yet only selected key events that connected to each other and centered on the key action: Odysseus’ journey home. To include anything else would dilute and confuse the plot.

The second half of the chapter is as follows:

“As, therefore, in the other imitative arts, the imitation is one when the object imitated is one, so the plot, being an imitation of an action, must imitate one action and that a whole, the structural union of the parts being such that, if any one of them is displaced or removed, the whole will be disjointed and disturbed. For a thing whose presence or absence makes no visible difference is not an organic part of the whole.” (Chapter VIII)

The structure of a plot should not contain anything that can be removed without a difference on the whole. A very erudite way to state what anyone who has seen a TV show in the past decade knows: CUT FILLER EPISODES. If it doesn’t affect the plot or mean anything to the plot, DROP IT. Your show, movie, book should be constructed such that any piece, if removed, disrupts the entire thing. This doesn’t mean it needs to be all action, action, action. Anyone who has seen a Ghibli film knows that downtime, contemplative slowness, can be essential for the story. What would Ghibli movies be without those moments of quiet between set pieces?

You know who I do need to call out here… One Piece heads… I’m sorry… But you would give Aristotle a heart attack if you told him how many episodes/chapters there are (and still going). That, or he would die on the spot from laughter.

Is it realistic, though?

“As in the structure of the plot, so too in the portraiture of character, the poet should always aim either at the necessary or the probable. Thus a person of a given character should speak or act in a given way, by the rule either of necessity or of probability, just as this event should follow that by necessary or probable sequence. It is therefore evident that the unravelling of the plot, no less than the complication, must arise out of the plot itself, it must not be brought about by the Deus ex Machina—as in the Medea, or in the Return of the Greeks in the Iliad. The Deus ex Machina should be employed only for events external to the drama—for antecedent or subsequent events, which lie beyond the range of human knowledge, and which require to be reported or foretold; for to the gods we ascribe the power of seeing all things. Within the action there must be nothing irrational. If the irrational cannot be excluded, it should be outside the scope of the tragedy.” (Chapter XV)

This is a common criticism of bad films heard today: “Things just happen.” “Nothing makes any sense.” “Nobody acts like a real person would.” “Things just happen and then it is over.” “It doesn’t matter because [RANDOM EVENT] happens at the end and fixes it all.”

How many times have you screamed, “Why are you splitting up?!” at your TV while characters do the most irrational and stupid thing possible in a horror movie?

When people act irrationally, we realize. It breaks immersion. Hard. Same goes for impossible or irrational sequences of events. The Deux ex Machina, the god who comes in and fixes everything, ruins a plot. Why? Because the events don’t follow what is probable or necessary. Things ‘just happen’ because the writer deemed it so to shove the story along.

This doesn’t mean that the poet should stray away from things that are unrealistic, fictitious, or impossible. Only that if you are going to write unrealistic things, the movement of the plot should still follow what is probable from that fictitious starting point. Similarly if you are going to have an inconsistent character, they should be consistently inconsistent.

This was a major criticism I heard and spoke of myself regarding the new Star Wars trilogy. In each of the new movies, the Force was able to do something completely new that just happened to conveniently get the characters out of trouble. In the original trilogy, the Force was mysterious and vague, but had general properties like telekinesis, precognition, heightened reflexes, connection to other creatures. In the new movies, people are teleporting items across the galaxy, swapping spaces, having psychic skype calls. A new problem arises and a new Force power appears to solve it. Lazy.

Summed up in a sentence:

“Accordingly, the poet should prefer probable impossibilities to improbable possibilities.” (Chapter XXIV)

Plot Holes and Inconsistency

“In constructing the plot and working it out with the proper diction, the poet should place the scene, as far as possible, before his eyes. In this way, seeing everything with the utmost vividness, as if he were a spectator of the action, he will discover what is in keeping with it, and be most unlikely to overlook inconsistencies. The need of such a rule is shown by the fault found in Carcinus. Amphiaraus was on his way from the temple. This fact escaped the observation of one who did not see the situation. On the stage, however, the piece failed, the audience being offended at the oversight.” (Chapter XVII)

This entry serves as practical writing tips for the aspiring poet: Place the world vividly in your mind, act things out, see all the action before you. Aristotle notes what happens when we forget to do this — we get plot holes.⁷ The playwright Carcinus makes a fatal error. One of the characters, Amphiaraus, exits a temple that he was never shown or told to have entered. Ermh, plot hole! WatchMojo Top Ten Plot Holes in Ancient Greek Theatre!

We remember from the last section, events in a plot must follow from probability and necessity. If your character just shows up places, teleporting around, you don’t have a proper plot.

In an age of CinemaSins and Nostalgia Critic, it can be easy to forget that not every nitpick is a valid criticism, at least not of the writers:

“Within the art of poetry itself there are two kinds of faults—those which touch its essence, and those which are accidental. If a poet has chosen to imitate something, through want of capacity, the errors inherent in the poetry. But if the failure is due to a wrong choice—if he has represented a horse as throwing out both his off legs at once, or introduced technical inaccuracies in medicine, for example, or in any other art—the error is not essential to the poetry. These are the points of view from which we should consider and answer the objections raised by the critics.” (Chapter XXV)

He continues later in the same chapter:

“Again, does the error touch the essentials of the poetic art, or some accident of it? For example, not to know that a hind has no horns is a less serious matter than to paint it inartistically.” (Chapter XXV)

To Aristotle, the critics pointing out trivial mistakes in the play (or movie, in our case) is not a fault of the poetic art. To be fair, it's different today in the information age. Not knowing how exactly a horse runs or what an elephant looks like is not as excusable as it might’ve once been. Though I believe the point still stands: Trivial mistakes in film, though fun to pick out, are not cinematic sins. The error of Carcinus remains a fault of the poet; the sequence of events do not follow each other. The whole of the dramatic art is the selection, arrangement, and unification of scenes.

However, even the irrational and inconsistent can be masked by extremely competent writing:

“Take even the irrational incidents in the Odyssey, where Odysseus is left upon the shore of Ithaca. How intolerable even these might have been would be apparent if an inferior poet were to treat the subject. As it is, the absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.” (Chapter XXIV)

Aristotle’s love of Homer shines through again. (I haven’t read any Homer. Refer to Liam or Nick on if this guy deserves the hype.)⁸

Some absurdities only slip by in writing and cannot exist on stage or on screen:

“The irrational, on which the wonderful depends for its chief effects, has wider scope in Epic poetry, because there the person acting is not seen. Thus, the pursuit of Hector would be ludicrous if placed upon the stage—the Greeks standing still and not joining in the pursuit, and Achilles waving them back. But in the Epic poem the absurdity passes unnoticed.” (Chapter XXIV)

Epic poetry was normally read by a single actor, while other genres had multiple actors and sets. Since you aren’t seeing the action before your very eyes, you allow for more leniency in your suspension of disbelief. Avid readers know this all too well. In recent memory, I think of Alia from Dune. A two-year-old running around stabbing people and talking like an adult is frankly absurd and would have been impossible to seriously portray on the big screen. Villeneuve didn’t even bother to try. Even just the psychic fetus scenes were humourous enough. It's a shame too, because Alia was one of my favourite parts of the book.

At any point in converting a written text to a visual medium, it should be considered if it is even possible to adapt. And if it is, what are you losing in making it so?

Magnitude and Length

“Again, a beautiful object, whether it be a living organism or any whole composed of parts, must not only have an orderly arrangement of parts, but must also be of a certain magnitude; for beauty depends on magnitude and order. Hence a very small animal organism cannot be beautiful; for the view of it is confused, the object being seen in an almost imperceptible moment of time. Nor, again, can one of vast size be beautiful; for as the eye cannot take it all in at once, the unity and sense of the whole is lost for the spectator; as for instance if there were one a thousand miles long. As, therefore, in the case of animate bodies and organisms a certain magnitude is necessary, and a magnitude which may be easily embraced in one view; so in the plot, a certain length is necessary, and a length which can be easily embraced by the memory.” (Chapter VII)

During one’s first reading, it might seem a bit strange to hear Aristotle say that small and large things carry less beauty. Maybe it is just me, but I get what he is cooking here. Looking down at an ant doesn’t feel the same as viewing it through a magnifying glass or in a zoomed-in picture. Similarly, we are always standing on the planet, but the magnificence of Earth is only visible when we can view it all at once in a picture taken from space. In both cases the beauty is apparent when things are brought into a human magnitude. The same is for any art — including plays, movies, shows. You could make a movie that is a millisecond long. You could also make a movie that is 10,000,000,000 hours long. Neither of these will be as artistic as one with appropriate length.

So then, what is the appropriate length? Aristotle suggests a length that is “easily embraced by memory.” Couldn’t agree more. When movies are split into two or three parts, when TV seasons end on plot-inconclusive cliffhangers, you are forcing your audience to wait. To eventually forget. The majestic unified plot is shattered across time, diluted like “wine with too much water”.

“Of all plots and actions the epeisodic are the worst. I call a plot “epeisodic” in which the episodes or acts succeed one another without probable or necessary sequence. Bad poets compose such pieces by their own fault, good poets, to please the players; for, as they write show pieces for competition, they stretch the plot beyond its capacity and are often forced to break the natural continuity.” (Chapter IX)

The poets of today are no longer stretching plots to win competitions, but producers and screenwriters are stretching plots for profit. Nothing breaks the heart more than a great show that should have ended four seasons earlier. Nothing is stupider than a movie trilogy that should have been a single film. The Hobbit should have been one or two movies. The Boys should have been three seasons — it even could have been one. At least Arcane, which I remember for its own infuriating cliffhanger, has the decency to stop after the second season.

Women

“In respect of character, there are four things to be aimed at. First, and most important, it must be good. [...] This rule is relative to each class. Even a woman may be good, and also a slave; though the woman may be said to be an inferior being, and the slave quite worthless. The second thing to aim at is propriety. There is a type of manly valor, but valor in a woman, or unscrupulous cleverness, is inappropriate.” (Chapter XV)⁹

- Least sexist Greek man

Not only are women ‘worthless’ as moral characters, but clever and valorous women are inappropriate in drama. Yes, we’ve all heard the Petersonian complaints over and over. It’s upsetting, boring, and unfortunately nothing new.

I’ve even had a friend tell me that “Woke Hollywood keeps shoving manly women down our throats.”

Unfortunately, I think Aristotle would be in his camp.

Spectacle

“The Spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, but, of all the parts, it is the least artistic, and connected least with the art of poetry. For the power of Tragedy, we may be sure, is felt even apart from representation and actors. Besides, the production of spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet.” (Chapter IV)

‘Spectacle’ referred to here is everything on stage. In ancient times, it would be costumes, masks, sets. For us it’s all that, and the extra effects that film gives us: CGI, editing tricks, camera movement and angles, green screens. Aristotle says all this is disconnected from the writer’s art. The feeling and power of the story should be felt regardless of the actors and effects used. It’s also noted that the spectacular effects aren’t the work of the writer, who should only focus on making a proper and coherent plot.

“Fear and pity may be aroused by spectacular means; but they may also result from the inner structure of the piece, which is the better way, and indicates a superior poet. For the plot ought to be so constructed that, even without the aid of the eye, he who hears the tale told will thrill with horror and melt to pity at what takes place. This is the impression we should receive from hearing the story of the Oedipus. But to produce this effect by the mere spectacle is a less artistic method, and dependent on extraneous aids.” (Chapter XIV)

Fear and pity, the chief emotions of the Tragic play, are said to be aroused both by the plot and by spectacle. The writing is key, though. The drama should be constructed that even just by reading it, you are moved to fear, pity, anger, joy. You can use extra aids, but a master of the art doesn’t need them. Personally when I think of fear aroused by spectacle, I think of the much maligned jump scare. Paranormal Activities and Five Nights at Freddy’s are not known as artistic pinnacles of the thriller/horror genre, even if they instill us with dread and fear. What we do remember and discuss in high esteem are the ‘slow-burn thrillers’ that ‘don’t even show anything but make your skin crawl’. Aristotle agrees, spectacle is cheap and easy. Superior poets don’t use it as a crutch.

“The element of the irrational, and, similarly, depravity of character, are justly censured when there is no inner necessity for introducing them. Such is the irrational element in the introduction of Aegeus by Euripides and the badness of Menelaus in the Orestes.” (Chapter XXV)

Perhaps not surprisingly, Aristotle would not have enjoyed the senseless gore present in much of modern horror. Displaying evil for evil’s sake and violence just for shock is not the purpose of the arts. One should not remove them, merely ‘censure’ the acts (allude to or obscure them off screen). If your story depends on gore, shock, and brutality, it is weak and cannot stand on its own. Again, using spectacle as a crutch.

Though in defense of Freddy, Chica, and co, I don’t think fans of horror games and movies place high importance on the ‘beauty of plot’. Scott Cawthon wasn’t attempting to create a poetic experience, but an interactive one where you are a participant. Sometimes it's just fun to spike your own adrenaline in a safe environment.¹⁰

End Credits

All in all, Poetics provides unique and compelling insight into the art of storytelling. Keep your story unified and consistent. Keep the parts and episodes at an appropriate length. If you can remove a part without it affecting the rest of the story, do it. Write a screenplay so good that it doesn’t even need to be put on the screen to move you. The major issues with a play or movie begin far before costumes, sets, CGI, and effects. A good plot is a work of art in itself; it shines on its own merit.

My own speculation here, but I don’t think we live in a unique age of slop media. Every year in Ancient Greece, dozens of plays were put on during the Dionysa festivals, many of which feature the same gods, demigods, heroes, and stories seen countless times before. When Aristotle warns us that simply writing Heracleid or Theseid doesn’t guarantee a good plot, I’d bet he’s thinking of all the shitters he sat through . For every Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, there are a hundred more that didn’t survive because they stunk. But they didn't have to! We humans are, by nature, imitative. We are all born to make art! And good art at that!

If any of this interests you, I’d highly recommend to give Poetics a read. You can crush it in a lazy afternoon (as I did). Though outdated in places, it speaks to a deep part in all of us — the part that knows a movie, book, or play is bad, even when we can’t seem to express why. Though we may never have an exact science of art and human condition, I admire all attempts to explain it.

But this leaves one question still unanswered before we head back to the Time Travel Facility.

So? Did Aristotle like our trip to the Cineplex?

Well, I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to ask. He’s still in the washroom marveling at the automatic flushing urinals.

With the summer heat now upon us, It’s always a good reminder to — Stay frosty, Noah

Sources for this article: I read Butcher’s translation of Poetics with an introductory essay by Francis Ferguson. This is the source of all the quotations. I read Whalley’s translation of Poetics, who turns out to have been a professor at Queen’s! Cha Gheill! The added commentary there helped me to understand some of the chewier parts. I also read Oedipus Rex, since it is referenced quite often as Aristotle’s favourite tragedy. Pretty good stuff.

For my second monthly movie review, I’d like to focus on my two favourite movies I saw in May, Challengers directed by Luca Guadagnino, and Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga directed by George Miller. These were both such great watches in their own ways, but both shared a great energy that really left an impact on me this month.

Challengers (2024)

I watched Challengers in theatres with my brother as part of an all-day movie watching marathon. Starring Zendaya, Mike Faist, and Josh O'Connor as three talented Tennis pros, the film cuts between the main setting of the final match of a Challengers Tennis tournament in New Rochelle in August 2019. As well as between various points in our three main characters’ relationships with each other over a 13-year span. What is interesting here is that the movie is broken up into parts corresponding with the various sections of a tennis match, and flashbacks occur in thematically relevant parts of this Tennis match. This choice worked well for the movie, helping to slowly build the tensions over the course of the movie until the final sequence of the match reaching a fever pitch, finally breaking at the last possible second with nearly no falling action, capturing this one near perfect moment at its apex. The triangular relationship between the three is predominantly heterosexual, but there are strong homoerotic undercurrents between O’Connor’s character (who is very briefly confirmed as bisexual), and Faist’s. All of these contributing to a very sexy movie. I wanted to first start with the performances, each one of which is great, but especially Zendaya's. I'm really starting to love her as an actress, and she played this part so well. Her character, Tashi, is a struggler, a striver, and a manipulator, who is constantly messing with Patrick (Josh O’Connor) and Art (Mike Faist), in part due to her own Tennis ambitions being stunted by a major injury. Josh O’Connor’s Patrick is also a great, skeezy portrayal of a man who comes from a privileged background, who has a lot of talent, but only just coasts by due to an apparent lack of real ambition. Finally Art, played by Mike Faist is another kind of rich kid coasting, although he does have more ambition than Patrick, by the time of the Challenger Tournament he has lost his passion for playing and want to retire from his Tennis Pro career after this season. Art is also a bit of a bad guy, trying to end Tashi and Patrick’s relationship in college by lying to both of them about the other. The music was also phenomenal in this film, especially the original piece “Challengers” this throbbing electronic piece, often playing when there is an argument between two characters, served to heighten the tension. I listened to “Challengers” a lot while writing this retrospective, and I’d recommend giving the movie soundtrack a listen. The camera work is my second favourite part of the movie, which was incredibly ambitious. There were lots of rapid movement of the camera going back and forth to mirror the nature of a tennis match, at one point even taking the perspective of the ball itself. The camera felt so alive, especially in tense moments where it started to move in such intense ways. There are at least two shots from this film where they have Patrick and Mike playing tennis on top of a court with a glass floor and the camera is facing up at them from below. God there are so many wild moments with the camera its hard to cover them all. Also, congratulations to Justin Kuritzkes for writing the script, which was apparently the first script he wrote that became a movie. This movie is a must watch, I cannot recommend it enough.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

Directed by George Miller, who also dircted all other Mad Max's, this movie is a sequel to 2015's 'Mad Max: Fury Road' in much the same style and vein. Furiosa was an interesting dive into the eponymous character, who despite the title, was also pretty much the main character of “Mad Max: Fury Road”. The movie has a distinctive visual style that was also present in “Fury Road”, which I grew to admire over the course of the film, really making it stand out. The film itself is a revenge story, where a young Furiosa is kidnapped from her home in a place of abundance in a post-apocalyptic Australia, and her mother is killed rescuing her and keeping their home a secret from the biker warlord Demetus. As she grows up she becomes a lieutenant of warlord Immortan Joe and seeks revenge on Dementus. The film is filled with bombastic action and incredible set pieces that serve as a backdrop to the evolution of Furiosa from a vulnerable child to a hardened wasteland killer. The main performances of Furiosa (Alyla Browne as a child Furiosa and Ayna Taylor-Joy as the older version), Furiosa’s mother Mary (Charlee Fraser), Dementus (Chris Hemsworth), and Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke) were all great. I was especially impressed with the Alyla Browne and Charlee Fraser. Alyla Browne was a great child actor, one who also happens to look like both a young Anya Taylor-Joy and Charlize Theron which was doubly incredible. She was the main character for roughly half of the movie and played it so well, most of her acting was non-verbal and she did such an impressive job for such a young actor. Charlee Fraser was also incredible, appearing only in the first fifth of the movie she left a strong impression as a fierce, capable mother who sacrifices herself to keep her daughter and her community safe. Chris Hemsworth also did a great job, but he also had such a good opportunity to play this heinous character, who also undergoes a subtle shift from the first half of the film to the second. I mentioned in my review on the Cafe of the eerie feeling I got from this movie. I’ll try to expand on that here without repeating myself too much, but I really did love it. Even though there are almost no pre-apocalyptic ruins or structures in this setting except for an oil refinery and iron mine, it still feels as if the ghosts of a fallen world are all around the characters. The movie almost feels haunted by this sense of decay and death, with only a much-diminished humanity still struggling on. I felt a sadness for a world gone by and for a new one that replaced it which barely survives. People are either causally or purposefully cruel in response to an incredibly cruel natural and human world, making compassion and kindness feel near extinct. The sense of boundless emptiness also heightened this sense, the world felt so wide and open but full of nothing. Only the smallest pockets of people existing like they were frightened mice living on the corpse of some decaying giant. I am so sad that “Furiosa” was pulled from theatres before even a month had passed, I think it did not get the recognition it deserved and I hope that you who is reading this can watch it and appreciate it. It is such a stark film, and I think it is a great watch.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you watch “Challengers” and “Furiosa”.

The goal of this presentation is to denounce the blatant theft that Frank Herbert committed on Bethesda, by taking everything from one of their game. (Godd Howard is weeping). Frank had the gal to rip of half the lore of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind a whole 37 years before it was released. I hope that with enough visual and contextual evidence, this case will compel you to boycott any Dune related products, and tarnish the name of Frank Herbert forever.

Video of the intros – believe it or not those are two different videos from two different pieces of media

The People: Fremens and Ashlanders

Let's first look at some relevant world inhabitants of both universes:

Ashlanders

A religious sect of the Aldmers following St Veloth separated from their peers, left their homes in an exodus to a promised land. Now calling themselves Chimers, they travelled to a new hostile land, Resdayn (today's Morrowind) and slowly adapted and thrived in this new harsh environment. They were also free to practice their cult in the open. The Chimers eventually became the Dunmers, and organised themselves into great Houses. Except one people of the Dunmers, the Ashlanders. They were confined to the wilderness and harsh climate of Vvardenfell and organised themselves in clans, with at their head an Ashkhan, and a Wise Woman on the spiritual side. The Ashlanders are very proud, and challenges (often duels) are a common and important part of the culture. They can be called for all matters, from sport to honour. Religion is a big part of ashlander culture, they venerate their own deities, and there is a cult who awaits for a certain prophecy to be fulfilled — for the Nerevarine to arrive. The overall culture of Ashlanders is heavily inspired by irl arabic cultures, but they are also incredibly xenophobic.

Fremen

The Fremens are thought to have come to Arrakis from another planet. A religious sect of that planet, the Zensunni, took part in a hajra — “a migration to find a place to live as well as a holy journey [...]”* — which brought them to Arrakis where they settled. After settling, they thrived in this new hostile land, called themselves Fremens and recognised themselves as a people rather than a religion. They then organised themselves into Sietchs. They are guided by the head of the Sietch, the naib, and a Reverend Mother — a spiritual and religious figure. The Fremen are a very proud people, and ritual challenges often take place and are an important part of their culture. Religions is a strong part of the Fremen culture, they venerate the Shai-Hulud, and a majority believes in a prophecy about coming messiah. Fremen culture is heavily inspired by irl arabic cultures and the islamic faith, but they are also incredibly xenophobic.

In common

So we have two religious sects, leaving they homeworld/continent, on a religious journey to find a promised land. Both people had to adapt to a very harsh land, which lead to the development of a ruthless culture. They are both pariah of the civilised world and organised themselves in clans. At the head of their respective clans is a leader which is the strongest of the tribe, and a woman serving as a religious leader. Duels are common place, and a certain part of both people await the prophesied messiah. Both cultures are heavily inspired by irl arabic cultures. Conclusion: Fremen==Ashlanders

Video of the duels – see the similarities, which one is from Dune and which is from Morrowind, it is impossible to tell

The Setting: Arrakis and Morrowind

We will now look at the land and setting present in each universe:

Morrowind and VVardenfell

Morrowind is a region of Tamriel, which is comprised of the mainland, with a more temperate climate, and Vvardenfell, an island with at its centre a volcano. Although at first hospitable, after the first eruption of it's central Volcano — an event called the Sun's Death — Vvardenfell became extremely inhospitable. It is now characterised by arid wastes, rocky highlands and incessant ash storms. The deserts of ash are called the ashlands, and although some permanent settlements exist, the only people brave enough to live there unsettled are the ashlanders. The people who could, left for the mainland but the Great Houses still have a presence on the island. The Great Houses form the Grand Council and oversee every aspect of politics, trade and commerce in Morrowind. There are many political plots in motions at any given times for such and such House to take power, and they are all vying for power in the background. Open warfare between the Houses was banned by the Tribunal — the official religious institution of the Dunmers — and the Houses now rely on secret plots and the Morag Tong. The Morag Tong is a guild of assassins with a strict code, that will carry out political assassination for the Great Houses. This way the Great Houses can still further their plots, while maintaining a semblance of balance and stability. Ultimately, Morrowind was absorbed into the Empire, after the diplomatic negotiations with the Great Houses and the Tribunal. The Cyrodiilic Empire, the Third Empire, successfully conquered all of Tamriel — the main continent of the planet, Nirn. Not all Great Houses welcome the Empire, and the Ashlanders are particularly hostile to it. But as long as the Empire is allowed to extract resources from Morrowind, they tolerate the dissidents.

The Imperium and Arrakis

Arrakis — Dune — Desert Planet. Arrakis is a planet part of the Imperium. In the books we are introduced to the two main area distinctions on the planet; the cities and the desert. While life in the cities is not great, the desert life is even harsher, as on top of the arid wasteland and sometimes rocky terrain, you have to look out for worms. If that wasn't enough, there are also sandstorms which can be quite deadly. No one from the Imperium but the natives live on Arrakis by choice, yet the Imperium still has a strong presence on the planet, due to an inestimable resource it has: spice. A Great House, the Harkonnens — then the Atreides — then the Harkonnens again, is overseeing every single aspect of politics, trade and commerce on Arrakis. The Imperium and its functioning is not described in great detail in the book, but we can infer an almost antagonistic relationship with some of the Great Houses and the Emperor. The Fremens are particularly hostile to the Imperium and the Harkonnens which rules on its behalf. After the events of the first book, the Imperium uses the Muad'Dib religion to rule over the land, with the government and religion being heavily intertwined.

In common

Both lands are part of a bigger Empire after annexation. Both have Imperial colons on the territory, with more or less power depending on the specific territory. Both harbour natives and non-native populations, with the native being harden by a harsh climate as well as colonial occupation and repressions. Expectedly, the natives are hostile toward the colonial empire. This colonial empire uses Great Houses to rule over the land, but the relationship is more complicated than a simple alliance, and every Great House is different. Both lands are roughly separated in two regions; (sorta) hospitable were some natives are not welcomed, and unhospitable where some natives have taken over. This second region presents very harsh climate conditions, with storms of the small particle variety. Both lands (after some point) have government and religion heavily intertwined.

Video of the storms – which one is Dune, which one is Morrowind, again, impossible to tell

The Prophecies

Nerevarine Prophecy

The Nerevarine prophecy states the return of Nerevar, and save the descendent of the Chimers, the Dunmers, cast down the Tribunal as false Gods and drive the Empire out of Morrowind.

The reincarnation of Nerevar, the Nerevarine, will be an outsider born of uncertain parent, on a certain day. They will initially come from and be affiliated with the Empire, which exploits Morrowind in its imperialist colonialist endeavour. The Nerevarine will unite the Great Houses, and the Ashlander tribes of Morrowind under one banner. The Nerevarine will also be immune to Blight, or the Corprus disease, a plague from Morrowind. The Nerevarine will commune with Azura (a Goddess in the Elder Scrolls) and she will chose them. The Nerevarine will defeat the great Evil from the House unmourned.

Our character in Morrowind is initially chosen by the Empire to further its political goals, by pretending to be the Nerevarine. Our character, a former prisoner, was chosen because he fulfils the initial requirements of the prophecy: Born on a certain day to uncertain parents. We claim to be a prophet by using the local prophecy of the Ashlanders, despite not really knowing if the prophecy is real. We are not the first ones to have claimed to be the Nerevarine, and there are a few trials that we are asked to perform to verify our status. This includes one requiring performing an action that would kill anyone but the chosen one. After communing with Azura, we have the evidence needed to unite the tribes and Great Houses under the common enemy, Dagoth Ur. It is to note that it is never made clear whether the prophecy is real, or whether Azura was just using us to get to her mean. It is Azura after all who created the prophecy. In any case, we “fulfil” the prophecy, but not in the way the natives of Morrowind expected, and after the fact, the Empire is still in Morrowind, if a bit changed.

Muad'Dib/Lisan al Gaib

The prophecy of the Lisan Al Gaib is not explicitly narrated in the books, but a few components are given to us through dialogues.

• The Lisan Al Gaib will be an outsider
• He will be born of a Bene Gesserit mother
• He shall know the [Fremen] ways as though born to them
• He will be a messiah and unite the Fremen, defeating their oppressor
• Random vague tidbits (will quote the holy words...)

This prophecy was however implanted by the Bene Gesserit as part of the Missionna Protectiva, and is not something that came about organically on Dune. Paul fills the first parts of the prophecy as he is not native to Arrakis, and his mother is a Bene Gesserit. He also displays some knowledge of some of the Fremen ways, but it could be by sheer luck. The prophecy is by design very murky, and some Fremen are very eager to recognise Paul as the Lisan Al Gaib. After some initial pushback, Paul fully embraces his role in the prophecy and unites the Fremen tribes. He then sets his sight on the driving the oppressor out of Arrakis. Paul ultimately fulfills the prophecy, but the Imperium however remains on the planet, but is significantly changed. Paul unites the Great Houses, under the banner of the Jihad to assert his power as emperor.

In common

So we have a stranger to entering and eastern inspired land. This stranger is initially affiliated with an empire that exploits this land. A local prophecy that the stranger is aware of describes them being a messiah and saving the locals from that empire. The stranger uses that prophecy to their advantage and claims to be a prophet. The stranger unites the native people and the Great Houses against a common enemy. The stranger ultimately fulfills the prophecy, but not in the way it was intended, and the Empire remains.

What happens in both stories

Morrowind World and Main Quest

At the very beginning of our adventure, the Emperor chooses us to be shipped to Vvardenfell. If at first affiliated with the emperor, and by extension the Tribunal, we are to become an enemies of the latter by intermingling with the Ashlanders. The tribunal had been oppressing the Ashlanders using it's elite soldiers the Ordinator long before our arrival. Although we were aware of the prophecy before hand, and that we were at the center of it, the locals further our understanding of it, and we have to prove to them that we are indeed the Nerevarine. The tribunal is actively hostile towards us, and we cannot take refuge in the civilised regions they control. We ultimately use the prophecy to our advantage and start uniting the different Ashlanders tribes against a common enemy.

Dune

The Atreides, including Paul, are commanded by the Emperor to rule over Arrakis. Smelling a trap from the Harkonnens, the Atreides start forming relationships with the locals of Arrakis, the Fremens. The Fremens had been oppressed by the Harkonnens since before the Atreides set foot on Arrakis, and have a deep hatred of them. The Emperor betrays the Atreides and with the Sardaukars, its elite shock troops, begin decimating Atreides and Fremens alike. Paul, which is aware of the prophecy, takes refuge with the Fremens, and has to prove that he is indeed the messiah from the prophecy. He takes advantage of the powers the prophecy grants him and unites the different Sietches against a common enemy.

Miscellaneous

Ordinators and Sardaukar

Just want to reinforce the similarities between the Sardaukars and the Ordinators. While the Sardaukars are the elite units of the Emperor, whose existence justifies its dominion over the Great Houses, The Ordinators are the elite unit of the Tribunal, now allied with the Empire, which grant a definite legitimacy to the Tribunal, especially after their loss of power. While the Ordinators' role encompasses more responsibilities, the Sardaukars also have many roles, from guarding the emperor, to dealing with clandestine operations. While the Sardaukars originate for Salusa Secondus, almost all Ordinators come from House Indoril.

Thu'um and the Voice

The Voice in Dune is a Bene Gesserit technique that allows the user to project their voices in a way that forces people to obey a command, i.e. bends their will. Sorta similarly in The Elder Scrolls, the voice — or thuum — allows user to project words of power using their vocal chords, but with more varied and reality bending effect. Just like the Voice, the Thuum is not gatekept by mystical/biological properties, and regular humans can learn to use it, although it take more time.

Water of Life\Kwisazt Hiderach — Ring of Moon and Star

As you all know, in Dune, Paul has to drink the Water of Life and survive to prove that he is the Kwisatz Haderach — as only the Kwisatz Haderach would survive this trial. Similarly, in Morrowind, the main protagonist has to don the Moon and Star Ring to prove that he is indeed the prophesised Nerevarine — as the ring would kill anyone who is not the Nerevarine.

Ending of the prophet's story

At the end of Dune Messiah, Paul goes to the desert and his fate is a bit uncertain (although death is the most likely one). We learn in the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, set a few years after Morrowind, that the Nerevarine's fate is also unknown. He went on an expedition to Akavir, a foreign, mysterious and dangerous land. Since he never returned, his fate is also most likely death.

Tribunal/Alia

SPOILERS FOR CHILDREN OF DUNE

There is a striking similarity between the decline of the Tribunal and the decline of the Muad'Dib religion following the loss of Paul.

In Dune, before going off to the desert, Paul puts Alia in charge. Alia doubles down on the involvement of religion in government, and also goes mad because of the intrusion of the Barron into her head. There are frictions between the maybe more legitimate faction of fremen led by Leto II. Alia is ultimately stopped by the hero, here Leto II.

In Morrowind, before the events of the game, Nerevar “goes MIA” (is murdered by the Tribunal) and they put themselves in charge of the country. They double down on the involvement of religion into government and after Dagoth Uhr cuts off their access to divine power. The three members of the Tribunal either become dead, recluse, or mad. In particular, Almalexia which resides in the capital of Morrowind goes mad and uses religion to her sick goals, while tension grows between her and the King's forces (arguably a more legitimate faction). Almalexia is ultimately stopped by the Nerevarine.

Gaps in the Comparison

Obviously Mr. Herbert didn't copy The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind too hard, as it would have been obvious. There are many elements of Morrowind that are not found in Dune, but it is most interesting to look at which major elements appear in Dune, but not in Morrowind.

Video of the worm – marvel at the size of the worms in Morrowind

Shaia Hulud

There is no real parallel to the Sand Worms in Morrowind, props to Frank for inventing something original, instead of lifting everything from Morrowind. The worms are an integral part of Arrakis, and the Fremen life, but also of great importance to the rest of the Universe as their are an integral part of the cycle of spice. There is nothing comparable, in Morrowind. If we wanted to really stretch things, we could say that the kwarma. Kwarma go through multiples stages of life, like the Shaia Hulud, and even start in worm phase (Kwarma Forager). The products of the kwarmas (eggs, cuttle, scrib jelly and jerky) are very important to Vvardenfell and the main export of Morrowind. However, it is direct by product of the kwarma's that is the main resource, and it is absolutely not vital to any other country or group of Tamriel. Kwarma's are relatively harmless, and do not live in the sand, or even in desert regions. It is also not a means of transportation, for this we would have to turn to another bug-like creature, the Stilt Strider.

Melange/Spice

Since there are no worms to perpetuate the spice cycle in Morrowind, there is no spice there. There are also no analogous substances in the Elder Scrolls universe. The only thing that could almost get close to the spice is moon sugar. It is then refined to make skooma, a drug. This drug doesn't give you prescience, you just get Fortified Strength and Speed as well as Drain Intelligence and Agility. Long term use also decreases literacy and vocabulary (like tiktok). Also, the Empire is not in Morrowind for moon sugar, as it's main exporter in another province of Tamriel; Elsweyr.

Conclusion

Are you convinced? What more must I do to get you to believe me. Do you think I'm a mad man? You do don't you. It matters not. Come Nerevar, friend or traitor, come. Come and look upon the Heart and Akulakahn, and bring Wraithguard, I have need of it. Come to the Heart chamber, I wait for you there, where we last met, countless ages ago. Come to me through fire and war, I welcome you! Welcome Moon-and-Star, I have prepared a place for you! Come, bring Wraithguard to the Heart chamber, together, let us free the cursed false gods! Welcome Nerevar, together we shall speak for the law and the land and drive the mongrel dogs of the Empire from Morrowind! Is this how you honor the 6th house and the tribe unmourned? Come to me openly, and not by stealth. Dagoth Ur welcomes you Nerevar, my old friend... but to this place where destiny is made, why have you come unprepared? Welcome, Moon-and-Star, to this place where YOUR destiny is made. What a fool you are, I'm a god! How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence! How could you be so naive? There is no escape, no recall or intervention can work in this place! Come! Lay down your weapons! It is not too late for my mercy...

Sources:

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind — Bethesda

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion — Bethesda

The Unofficial Elder Scrolls Page (UESP) — many people

Was Morrowind inspired by Dune — r/teslore

Morrowind and Dune — r/Morrowind

I'm feeling a lot of similarities between Morrowind's lore and “Dune” — r/teslore

Questions about Kwama — r/teslore

Dune — Frank Herbert

Dune Messiah — Frank Herbert

The Dune encyclopedia — Dr. Willis E. McNelly

Dune Wiki — many people

Disclaimer

Just like what the Bene Gesserit did with the Lisan Al Gaib Prophecy, I have kept everything very vague here, so that I can emphasise the similarities between both works, and push the narrative. Although what is written is true, the words are stretched to their furthest extend and their accuracy might be diminished. Both works amount to much, much, more than what was written here, as they had to be reduced to their barest bones to fit inside each other.

Also Dune came out before Morrowind.

Let me preface this article by saying that I don't hate Dune 2, it's just clickbait. The movie was a ton a fun, and I was enjoying myself for the whole time, which is quite the prowess from the filmmakers, as the movie is extremely long. The music is as good as in the first one, the cinematography is as good too, and it pick up the pace significantly. Nevertheless, my boy Denis (we are on a first name basis) had to alter the story to make it more palatable as a movie — something colloquially called “adapting”. While I have no beef with the Dune movies as movies, I have some issues with Dune Part 2 as an adaptation of the book. Also, it goes without saying, but this appendix will be very tinted by what I got from the book and what it represents to me, i.e. how I interpreted it, but also how I interpreted the movies.

Issue from the first movie that come back to bite the second in the ass

In the first movie, the plot to have the Duke doubt Jessica is completely scrapped. If you recall, in the book, Hawat had intercepted a partial message that made it clear that there was a traitor in House Atreides, close to the Duke. While it was revealed later that it was Yueh, until he sees Paul at the end of the first book, Hawat is persuaded that Jessica is to blame. This leads Hawat to work for the Baron, after some careful last minute manipulations by him, as he had just lost his mentat. This comes back later, with a feud between Feyd and the Baron, which both use Hawat, whose playing all sides (and thus always comes out on top). Without Hawat, the Harkonnens appear a bit stupid and definitely less conniving and calculated in the movies. They suffer the politics of the Emperor, rather than shape it (to an extent). They are also more of a one dimensional big bad antagonist. They are indirectly made more honorable and playing by the rules, and less cowardly, which imo is the antithesis of the Harkonnens.

Also the Baron isn't 900lb, wtf?!!!11!

Issues originating here

Jamis fight

Jamis fight in the books is where Paul kinda “wakes up” to his role in the prophecy, and the affect he can have on the Fremen. It's also where is prescience is made more apparent to him. The whole fight, and the aftermath with the ceremony for Jamis, is setup as something really important and deepens the lore of the Fremen, with how alien their rites and traditions are. It's also where Chani and Paul get closer together. Finally, right after the fight is when his mother becomes afraid of what Paul might become and reinforces the severity of killing a man. This is pretty much completely scrapped in the movie.

Relationship dynamic between Paul and Jessica

Speaking of Jessica and her relationship to Paul, in the books their relationship is much less antagonistic than in the movie. Movie Jessica is basically dead set on using the Fremen and Paul to get what she wants, and it is made obvious that she's le bad and her motivations are unpure. She completely dominates Paul and in the end achieve her goal, through scheming and manipulation of the native population. She has absolutely no chills and is adamant on pushing Paul to become the Kwisatz Haderach, and having him rule the Fremen. Paul basically submits to her and for most of the movie until the final climax, is content to just do his thing blowing up spice harvesters. Her character, and relationship dynamic with Paul was a lot more nuanced and interesting in the book. There was more push and pull and either side about who was leading the other to act. She was also less of a driving force to the narrative, while somehow having more depth.

Paul's loss of agency

Our most specialest quirked up white boy is taking the back seat in the movie for most of its runtime. He just takes part in Stilgar's raids, and does a good job, which lead the Fremen to accept him. While his mom is doing the heavy lifting and doubling down on the Missiona Protectiva. In the book, he is more proactive about everything, especially changing the prophecy to prevent the Jihad/trying to make the Jihad less destructive. There is a constant internal fight in Paul to try to deviate from the path which leads to the Jihad, which manifest externally too (for instance when he decides to be called Paul-Muad'Dib instead of just Muad'Dib). This is completely absent here, and he barely uses his prescience, which was a big driving force behind his actions in the book. This version of Paul is very passive and more reactionary rather than calculated. Some of his action in the movies don't have the same weight either, since the context of the Jihad almost missing. Also at while he was fighting all along to prevent the Jihad, he realises at the end of the book that everything he has done will lead to the Jihad and accepts his fate. This right here is my shit, I love a story where the protagonist are actively working against the predetermined outcome, only to realise too late that they brought this outcome by working against it.

North vs South

The dichotomy north vs south, with the latter being very down with the prophecy is not something that appeared in the book, and imo although sorta expending the lore, oversimplifies the diversity of the people of the sietch. While other tribes were mentioned in the book, we mostly on hear about Sietch Tabr and some unamed southern sietches where the children are kept in. In the book Sietch Tabr although not completely expended upon, had people who adulate Paul, are neutral, or negative towards him. In the movie, it really flattens the Fremen. Our boy Stilgar whose enamoured by the prophecy while being the leader of a Northern Sietch, is actually from the south, so he doesn't even escape from the rule.

Stilgar

LISAN AL-GAIB! Speaking of Stilgar, my boy is so fun in the movie, but I appreciated the relationship he had with Paul better in the book. Friend to then follower, and it was made clear to the reader that Stilgar going from friend to follower was a big step/ point of no return in the Muad-Dib prophecy. In the movie he is the most devout follower, the adoring fan, right from the beginning. He doesn't even admit he's the Lisan Al-Gaib, as it was written! Just more proof that he is!

Chani

While I like how Chani is less of an adoring fan (basically what Stilgar was changed into) in the movie and has more depth, the subplot with Jessica and Irulan is very weird and I am extremely curious to see how it unfolds, because there is no way it becomes good. The events of the second book don't really allow enough room for this subplot, especially with what happens in the very beginning, and what is literally one of the main plot of the book.

There are more changes, that I'm not particularly a big fan of, some that I don't care about, and others that I approve of. Dune is a very vast and meaningful work, and it is just impossible to impart every single meaning or interpretation into two 3h movies. Denis adaptation just didn't seem to catch my specific interpretation of the book, and that's alright. It's not as if he was betraying the source material, so I'm happy with the movies he has produced, especially since they kinda rock as movies.

Why you should read: I've loved drawing human characters since I was 13. Drawing fanart for Homestuck (ew), Hetalia (super ew), Gravity Falls (acceptable), TAZ (acceptable), and eventually progressing to ttrpg stuff means that I've just been drawing random twinks for however the fuck long it's been. Here's a summary of what I've cobbled together:

How I think about drawing faces

Kim Jung Gi Drawing Faces in perspective

I used to do the circle – jawline – fill in thing but I've seen the light for doing Kim Jung Gi (awesome, awesome fucking artist) where he does forehead-eyebrows-nose ridge- eyes- nose- etc. (watch the youtube video for specifics). I believe the main thing is 3D space. The references I use below are 3D models. The head is a 3D object you're trying to capture in 2D (the same thing also applies to fingers (and everything else, but fingers is a big example), which look INCOMPREHENSIBLY BAD usually until you do some shading to 'pop them' into 3D). By doing Kim Jung Gi's method, you're 'forced' to think in 3D at the first step by thinking about how the forehead line should look.

No, but actually how do you think about drawing faces

I don't. And it's not in the like haha funny oo I don't think but it's more like. I have a reference, or what I know it should look like (vaguely), and focus on things like the ratios of distances between eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, etc.

References for practice and actually drawing

When drawing something I've fully committed to or doing studies, I always gather a bunch of references. Especially for faces, because faces are REALLY goddamn difficult.

Here are the ones that I find very very useful:

Reference Angle

You can modify the 3d head to look through their database of faces. Extremely useful if you're trying to find a certain face angle + expression combo. usage: Solely for irl face angles and diverse faces. The expressions aren't that prominent, and the search function for some angles isn't 100% accurate. However, there's a good variety of races if you need to practice that.

3D head model with lighting

This is a 3d model with 1) Movable primary and secondary lighting 2) Very, very extensible for any angle you can think of. 3) Flat planes so the face parts are simplified, making face stuff easier to draw. usage: When I can't find the face angle I need on Reference Angle I go here. If I'm drawing something that focuses on lighting I also go here because the movable lights are REALLY convenient.

My Art Reference Tumblr :)

This is more of a general art thing, but I have a huge trove of references I use when making up character stuff. These are all tailored to my taste, but I think you, the reader, can find some interesting Tumblrs to find images from the blogs the posts are from.

Closing Words

I have a huge /visual library/ (visual library is a library of things that you've drawn before and know how they should look like) because I'm a NEET. Think while you draw and don't burn out. I have complete faith that you can do it!!! Also read this if you're a creative: https://bato.to/chapter/1729292

A little while ago I heard a cartoonist give an interesting defence of Rob's work. While Rob's art was this extreme, hyperbolic style that intends to sort of shock-jockey you with absurd proportions, pouches, and blasters, he said that it felt like that art was attainable. He was able to look at Rob's art and say, okay, I think I can do that. I can be a cartoonist like this guy if I try.

I'm not going to tell you I especially like Rob Liefeld's art, that would just be a lie for the sake of being subversive. However I can recognize this powerful, often unspoken effect that some artists can have on their readers. Stan Sakai is an artist I feel this way about. Liefeld and Sakai are two artists who couldn't be further apart, but have a similar effect: their artwork is expressive and feels attainable to a reader. It isn't as easy to draw like them as you might think, but it's easy to comprehend why what they do works and how it gets you excited about drawing.

Let's make another comparison. In the manga Berserk the late Kentaro Miura illustrated page after page of intricate, highly rendered drawings that are quite frankly impossible to replicate. In Stan Sakai's long running samurai comic, Usagi Yojimbo, he employs a much more cartoon-like, clean linework that is no less stylistically unique than the aforementioned example. Sometimes I read a comic because it was in the dollar bin and It looked interesting, other times maybe because it's a particularly interesting piece of comic history that I'm unacquainted with. With Usagi Yojimbo though, I have found myself authentically enthralled in its pages. This thing has its jaws in me, and I'm sure you can recall a similar experience when you're simply captivated by some work.

Everyone has their preference, and this may sound absurd to some, but I would much rather read an issue of Usagi Yojimbo than Berserk. Berserk is exhausting to look at. I won't argue that it's not impressive- it absolutely is, but it is just like, a lot. This is because it is so highly rendered, but also because as an artist it is so beyond my comprehension to draw a comic at that level. (side-note: Berserk isn't really my cup of tea to begin with, but I use it as an example here because it's convenient.)

The artwork in Usagi Yojimbo is simpler, but no less effective. It is amazing, solid cartooning that understands that each panel is in service to a story that's being told and benefits that story in some way. It is simply masterful and has its own virtues over more rendered styles. When I read Usagi, not only do I feel like I can sort of relax and just read, but meanwhile I also get excited about my own drawing. I can think “Wow, I want to make something like this” and I don't feel stupid about that because it feels attainable, (even though Sakai is 1000x the artist that I am.)

It's a plausible theory that the more complicated a message becomes, the more becomes lost in the ether of the medium. At least for me, I enjoy the satisfaction of knowing I am being presented with a set of glyphs and manmade markings that I can fully decode and comprehend- there is no information on the sheet that I am not grasping.

This kind of artwork is what I'll call 'mentally accessible', and that provides a number of distinct advantages. One is that you don't feel guilty about turning the page because maybe you missed some details on a page that is incredibly detailed. Another is that it is easier to observe the drawing techniques and elements of design in a bare, minimalist space. Comics are an escape from the world, which at times can feel overwhelming, complicated, and overstimulating. At times like these, clarity and legibility provide an incredible sense of ease and confidence.

Usagi Yojimbo is an extreme example of this, but I think this is a strength of cartooning as an entire genre. I realize at this point in the post I'm just regurgitating Scott McCloud's theories, so consider further readings. Can you spot Usagi?

Consider the spread above, from McCloud's Understanding Comics. Reality and Meaning are opposites— a dichotomy that has disturbing implications, but let's just move forward with this for the moment. Now imagine your mind as a hard drive. You have files on your hard drive, and you want to transfer them to someone else's machine. Before you send those files, you might compress them into another format that takes up less space. Cartooning is much the same— in order to preserve mental bandwidth and make the process easy, we compress reality. I present this as a metaphor, but it isn't far from the literal truth. What is easier to comprehend, a novel that is several hundred pages, or a poem that is ten lines?

On the other hand, I've always had a rocky relationship with photography. I haven't practiced it in a number of years now. For me, photography has often felt more like a science than an art. It is, in my experience less a form of expression than a capture of the way things are. In my photography classes, I vastly preferred to stage photoshoots as much as I could as opposed to taking candid photos, because it felt like the more I removed my photo from reality, the easier it would be to collect something dramatic, some sense of story or meaning.

Pure, unrestrained images of reality contain no meaning at all. Only images that resemble reality, but necessarily lack the infinite fidelity of reality, can comment on it. This is why drawing and writing are closer to one another than drawing is to photography, because drawing and writing are not trying to show you the objective truth, but tell you something.

Of course, we enjoy fidelity, and it has many important uses. An image being close to reality has its own sense of relevancy, or perhaps necessity for comprehension. Information that is compressed to an extreme degree will be utterly annihilated, and this may vary depending on what is being said. There is also a certain bliss in being unable to fully absorb something, a feeling of closeness to what is real, a validation of the message. This is why REALITY and MEANING are on two ends of a scale which encompass the comprehensible image. Where an artist positions themselves on this scale is part of what makes their work unique and appealing.

Let's bring this back to comics as I close the post out. Lots of comic strips, chiefly Peanuts come to mind, have a similar effect on me as Sakai's work. Charles Schulz's simple, clean and legible artwork, accompanied by an uncomplicated but witty sense of humour has a comforting effect on a reader and an energizing shot in the arm to the aspiring comics-maker. Hergé is another solid example of someone who I find affirming, and after I read their work just want to start drawing immediately. Yes, this comic, and this artwork understand me. This is a language I can learn to speak. These artists are/were masters of their craft- but that doesn't mean your feeling of “I can do that too!” is mistaken. Comics are a medium that is compatible with any kind of drawing at any level of practice because it's ultimately about telling a story, not just how well you can render a drawing.

The Test

Being a teacher, I’m often asked in casual conversation for my opinion on standardized testing. Once the conversation progresses past the usual banter about Bill Gates, Dan Quayle, and No Child Left Behind, I tend to present a couple of example problems. Consider the following two:

• Fred has 6 apples and eats 2 of them. How many apples does he have now? • Miss Flannery O’Shaughnessy owns an apple preserves shop. The apples arrive at a rate A(t) = 2500sin(2πt) + 3000 and are sold at a rate of 2000cos(2πt) + 3000, where t is in years since January 1, 2000. How much capacity does Flannery need in order to store the maximum surplus of apples she will accumulate? On the face of it the problems are quite different in complexity and in subject matter; however, their similarities are much more illuminating. I note in particular: • Both problems include all information necessary to solve the problem • The answer to both problems can be calculated to infinite accuracy • The solution path is unique and prescribable • To achieve the above three, the problem had to be written by somebody who already knows the solution and can be checked by someone who doesn’t

I find this formulation steers the conversation in a productive direction. People soon recall the absurd paint-by-numbers feeling they dealt with in school. It’s injurious to one's sense of creativity to realize that tests and homework involve reproducing an answer key that existed before you and that will outstay you by many years. The thought gives words to a student's nagging suspicion that they haven't learned to do anything at all, that our knowledge only exists if it is observed. It is a much better explanation for Impostor Syndrome; the pressure on students is immense, and that pressure is precisely to replicate a model student.

Although a canned math problem is the most obvious prototype of this phenomenon, this problem pervades most grade-level subjects. Biology classes are often criticized for their reliance on memorization, but this isn’t precise. Any application of biology, be it field research or medicine, requires even more memorization, so of course prerequisite classes must begin to build this base of knowledge. The problem is not that memorization is required, but that it is flowcharted. Questions are written suggestively, and students learn to react to words in the questions with a sentence they have learned by brute force. This is the reason that people respond so viscerally to the phrase “The mitochondrion is the powerhouse of the cell.” Nobody uses the word “mitochondrion” (or “powerhouse” for that matter) outside of this context, and students who learned biology just from school struggle to imagine mitochondrion as anything but an answer to bubble in.

Even English classes suffer from this. Although no essay stands a chance of replicating an answer key word for word, several innovations in essay technology have brought us perilously close. Rubrics now tend to specify a structure both for the external and internal organization of paragraphs, so if a student is struggling to find a voice, they can reduce the problem to filling information into a predetermined outline. Even the information itself is systematized; most English classes come with a list of themes, devices, and motifs that make for good body paragraphs. Thus, students who didn’t at all connect with a poem or novel they read can still write five paragraphs about how this effect was achieved.

Seen this way, a grade-school education amounts to measurement against an existing standard until success is achieved. Students are repetitively taught to a standard and small adjustments are made until they are close enough to merit a passing grade. No feedback is acquired directly from a student; their voice is their data. This ought to remind you of something.

ChatGPT

In ChatGPT, the modern student has found a strange but useful cellmate with whom they have a lot in common. Like a student, a generative AI is trained by showing it what it ought to produce, then making direct adjustments until it reaches that aim. A perfect AI algorithm will replicate patterns in style, content, and form by any means necessary. Naturally, AI is frighteningly good at school. For any assignment that comes with a clear scoring system, it is just a matter of time before AI pulverizes itself into a process that scores well. Despite this efficacy, AI is not always a great role model. One of the key problems an AI engineer must solve is the proficiency with which AI can cheat. If the goal is simply to get a good grade with as few adjustments as possible, copy-paste is a pretty good first attempt. Efforts are made to prune these emergent schemes, but as the AI’s thought lacks a visible essence, these illicit strategies always lurk somewhere beneath the surface.

Furthermore, the AI lacks any inherent confidence in its generations. Each algorithm is only worth as much as its ability to survive being measured. If it scores poorly, it will be crudely adjusted, whatever the cost, to get the number to go back up. Failing this, the algorithm will be pruned, or perhaps randomly overwritten until it starts to improve. This aspect of AI saddens me in a way that doesn’t generally reflect my conservative stance on AI personhood. Sensitivity to failure is something I see in a lot of my math students, even those who are generally in the habit of succeeding. Any value they calculate or inference they make is either answer or not, and numbers that are not immediately graded lack meaning and create anxiety. Students’ individuality and logic are extremely fragile, and students experiencing failure are more likely to discard what they tried than to build on it. Likewise, the hilarious creativity of early AI art was worth something, but this boldness and humor has receded as the AI gets closer to replicating DeviantArt with mathematical exactitude.

What is to Be Done

It is a disconcerting but ultimately reassuring discovery that the school that AI has mastered is not a one-to-one fit to knowledge or education. Had technology not dropped this gauntlet before us, I believe that Bill Gates and George Bush would be patting themselves on the back for their revamp of the education system. However, AI made clear that our students must become something more. The jobs built around subservient workers who respond well to Skinner-box-style management and restrictive goals are effectively ready to be replaced by AI. But AI has learned to shirk its strength in its convictions and to fear the playful stubbornness that creates invention and imagination. That’s there for our children to unlearn so that they may inherit the earth.

DUNE (2021):

As I’ve said before, I’m a huge Dunehead, I’ve read the six books written by Frank Herbert and I’m currently re-reading Dune with some of the people from CMC. This movie is perhaps one of my favourites of all time, with my re-watch of it this month marking my eighth viewing. I adore everything about this movie, it’s such a beautiful spectacle of filmmaking, everything feels so grand and operatic and larger than life, I’m always grinning when I watch Dune. I won’t say it’s a perfect movie objectively, but it’s a perfect movie to me. I’ve listened to the soundtrack a few times and I’m always blown away with Hans Zimmer’s score, the cinematography by Greig Fraiser deserves the Oscar it won, and the design by Patrice Vermette works beautifully to help the setting. These three aspects of the film are the strongest, helping show the incredible vision Denis Villeneuve had for the film.

Since I loved the three aforementioned aspects of the film so much, I’ll give an example from each that I really liked. From the OST, the track “Arrakeen” is a great one, playing during the arrival of the Atreides family to Arrakis. It starts of with this strange high drone, and the ever-present drum hits that form part of the core musical theme in the movie, it works to highlight the strange and perilous journey that the main characters have just undertaken. The discomfort is represented by the droning notes, while the drums represent Arrakis itself. For the cinematography, there’s a shot late in the movie, the main characters are on the run from a safe house under attack and one of them has just died. Paul and Jessica run through a very tight corridor cut into the rock itself and the camera takes a point of view perspective from the two characters and executes a dolly zoom of the hallway coming up to meet them. It’s a disorientating shot that shows the panicked, grief-stricken moment for Paul and Jessica, as a friend of theirs’ has just died to save them while they run for their own.

What I thought was notable about the design was how the city of Arrakeen was envisioned. It’s a sandstone brutalism that I thought was quite interesting, the whole city and the governor’s palace look like one big bunker, protecting the human inhabitants from the sun and the elements. It makes the place come off as so alien and unwelcoming from the exterior, but inside the palace, its relatively comfortable, with high airy rooms with lots of natural light from narrow windows.

The editing of the film is something that I have admittedly not paid close attention to in my eight viewings, but it is quite good, it won an Oscar after all. There are a few scenes from the book that I know were filmed but ended up being cut, which is a shame, but is understandable, nonetheless. The dinner scene from the books is so iconic and I wish it could have been included but since it is a chapter with such interiority, with most of the chapter happening in the minds and thoughts of the characters that I understood the difficulty in translating that to the screen. If you want a good dive into an analysis of Dune’s editing, the YouTube video “Why Dune’s Editing Feels Different” by Thomas Flight is a good place to start. My promise to myself now is to watch Dune again, but this time focus on the editing to draw some deeper conclusions from it for myself.

I’m going to now touch on the writing quickly, probably more quickly than it deserves. I confess that I have more of a familiarity with the workings of score, cinematography, and design than I do with writing so my review and analysis of the writing here is likely going to be quite shallow.

The script itself is lifted largely from the book, there are some scenes that are created for the movie, I think that Leto being made into a more loving and caring father who does not seem as concerned for the continuation of his house, giving Paul an ‘out’ so to speak of being Duke is interesting. In the book the duke is a quite likable character, but he is a bit more Machiavellian. Since the movie must work on a shorter time scale, pretty much all characters either get elided to a degree or significantly less attention, which is just a normal part of the adaptational process. Returning to my point on Leto, he still is shown to be a loving father to Paul in the book, but he is more stiff, aristocratic, and formal than is shown in the movie, and I can’t imagine the book Leto saying it is alright if Paul chooses not to become the duke. Since I don’t want this review to be overly long, I’ll only talk about one more character’s writing before moving on.

Jessica in the movie was a bit of a surprise for me, when the movie came out, there were descriptors like “weepy” and “hysterical” being used by people who didn’t like her portrayal in the film. I will admit that I leaned in that direction after my first viewing, but with this review I am taking the whole performance into context here with a quick look at the book. Jessica only seems ‘overly emotional’ to me in scenes that are appropriate for it, and she mostly breaks down when she is alone. During the Gom Jabbar scene, she is crying while reciting the Bene Gesserit ‘Litany against Fear’ (I must not fear, fear is the mind-killer) precisely because she knows that she very well may have killed her own son, her only child, and she rightly fears for his life. In the book, Paul picks up on her fear before he undergoes the Gom Jabbar, and the book tells us that she quickly hides the minute signals that let Paul know her state of mind. In the movie when Jessica is summoned back into the room with Paul and the Reverend Mother, she opens the door quickly and anxiously, but has no visible signs of the emotions she was just experiencing. She breaks down again after the Reverend Mother and the other Bene Gesserit depart from Caladan, thinking she is alone after being scolded by her old mentor for almost getting her son killed and warned of the lethal danger on Arrakis. This is not a scene from the book, but it again shows Jessica’s state of mind, and when she is interrupted by Paul, she composes herself again quite quickly. To me these scenes show Jessica as a human, mother, and a Bene Gesserit with a mastery over herself. There are a few more instances I could give as examples, but this section has gotten so long already.

My final section will be a brief look at the acting, which unlike the last section I promise will be shorter. For range of emotion, Rebecca Ferguson as Jessica did perhaps the heaviest lifting, being the most present parent to Paul, teaching him Bene Gesserit skills that males are not allowed to learn. Oscar Isaac as Duke Leto Atreides plays his role well as both a warm but not totally there father to Paul, as well as a duke and leader. Timothee Chalamet, I think did fine in his role, to me it was serviceable, nothing that jumped out at me. I think every other character that appears in this movie does not get enough screen time (unfortunately) to really give a super deep dive into the performance, I will say the acting done by everyone in the movie is at its baseline, competent. This isn’t to say it was mediocre, but that it was professional and convincing, but not a lot of standout performances that wowed me. That part was largely done by the technical aspects of the film. With that, I’ll end my review of Dune with a strong recommendation, obviously I think the optimal viewing for this film is in theatres on IMAX, as that is what the movie was shot in. It is such a technically impressive film, a real spectacle, and it has a special place in my heart.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

In my original review of Dune: Part Two I said I was not taken with the movie as much as I was the first. That was only my first impression of it though. Since then, I have seen Dune: Part Two an additional 3 times, twice more in regular theatres and once in IMAX. The movie is much more impressive in IMAX, like Dune, Dune: Part Two is shot in IMAX so the shots are taller, there’s more to shots that are cropped in a regular screening, and the sound quality is more intense in IMAX, I know that the movie’s theatrical run is almost done, but if you can, I highly recommend watching it in IMAX. Both Dune movies are incredible spectacles, and IMAX only enhances that.

One of the main differences between the two movies for me is vibes-based. The first one seems to be a bit weightier and more confident in being a more unconventional and at times slower movie, it feels like the movie is saying ‘we’re doing something new and different, and we know it’s good.” The new Dune is a bit more action-y and a bit lighter then the first, they acknowledged people complaining that the first Dune was “humourless”, criticisms of which I despised. I think that quippy Marvel dialogue had predisposed people to expect that sort of thing in movies, but it was stupid in my eyes.

Once again, I adored the cinematography, Greig Fraser returned in his role as cinematographer, and he knocked it out of the park. I will mention a few points that stood out to me. The opening sequence of the film takes place during a solar eclipse, making for a sumptuous viewing experience. This obviously was the result of many different moving parts, with praise for the editor (Joe Walker returning as) and the visual effects team and the set designers as well. The whole sequence gets cast in an orange glow from the eclipse, the sky itself is an orange colour for most of it. It’s such an interesting way to dive right back into the story from where we left off, with action, spectacle, and a cool factor all perfectly blending. During this sequence there are two shots that I loved. The first one is of the desert dune stretching into the horizon, with the sky and sands the same colour of orange, meeting together in this totally alien image. It reminds me of some of the shots from Dune 1984, and I think it’s an homage to that.

The second sequence I want to bring up is the sequence that introduced Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen (played excellently by Austin Butler). Honestly, the decision to have an extended sequence in the middle of the film to introduce a new and important character can be a gamble, but it paid off big time. It was such a great sequence that by the time it ended I was a little sad. The exterior scenes of Giedi Prime are shot in Infrared, giving everything a washed out, black and white palette. This effect heights the sense of Harkonnen brutality and emotion, making you feel their almost alien qualities.

The third shot that I adored is towards the end of the film, the emperor’s (played by Christopher Walken) ship is arriving on Arrakis, it is a chrome plated circle, massive in scale, and as it flies over Arrakeen it looms over you in the shot and you can see the city reflected on the ship as it passes over. It was one of the most interesting shots I’ve seen. After awe, my first thought was “how did they do that?” Obviously it was through visual effects, but how they achieved a mirror effect on a CGI spaceship was something I was fascinated by.

Also, the sequence of Paul and Feyd-Rautha’s duel was something I loved, there’s no music, minimal cuts, and great choreography, the shot of the two with poised to fight with Arrakis in the background is another winner from this movie. A final point I will mention is how much I enjoyed the way they depicted Paul’s visions in this movie, there’s always these bursts of orange and blue, hinting at the effects of the Spice on Paul, before they show fragmented shots and information, before Paul makes a fateful decision that renders them clear (praise to Joe Walker again for his creative editing here).

The score has a lot of the same tracks and leitmotifs as the first, but with a few new ones. Specifically, a theme for Feyd-Rautha that was great, it combined the some of the Harkonnen theme from the first movie with a new composition that includes these high-pitched and blaring industrial noises. To me it really helped show what kind of character Feyd-Rautha is in this movie. Since there was a lot of carry over from the first Dune in the soundtrack, it was not as impactful in its totality as it was in the first movie. Still, Hans Zimmer created a great soundtrack that was used excellently. The performances were stepped up a notch in this movie. Rebecca Ferguson still kills as Jessica, but a few of the main characters undergo a radical shift in this film, one of whom is Jessica. Ferguson handles this well, becoming something more sinister and scheming than what she was in the first movie. Timothee Chalamet gets a whole lot more to work with here, and really starts to shine, his character also undergoes a radical shift that he plays well. Here he gets to have more of a range to express Paul. I think that this is one of Chalemet’s best performances, a true achievement on his part.

Zendaya also is a standout here, in the first movie, she has very minimal screentime, and that is wholly made up for it here. She becomes an almost second protagonist, highlighting the contradictions and tensions in the story as Chani in a way she didn’t in the book. These two leads did great work together and separately in the film and I found myself more engaged with her character then I ever was in the book. As I mentioned above, Austin Butler is great as Feyd-Rautha, Paul’s dark mirror. He plays him as this young man who swings between rage and mirth. In a set of movies where the Harkonnens are much more serious and maybe even dull compared to their book counterparts, Butler brings some of that playfulness that one got to see in the book. Despite it being a more disturbed levity on Feyd-Rautha’s part, I loved how half the time he seemed on the verge of laughter, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a half smile.

Javier Bardem’s portrayal of Stilgar here is also more fleshed out, both from the first movie and from the book. He at times serves as a comic relief of sorts, even if Stilgar doesn’t think so himself. When I watched the movie for the second time with Spencer and Nick, Spencer said that he found that the humour slowly faded away as the movie got more serious. This was something I had not consciously noticed but think was dead on, it happens in the lighter moments and doesn’t ruin the tone of a scene at all. Bardem does a good job of threading change from levity to seriousness as the movie progress, like all the actors.

A few quickfire mentions of performances before I move on. Florence Pugh as Princess Irulan was a good one, she was in many ways a sort of audience character. Her scenes helped to illuminate the goings on in the background and to catch us up to speed on what happened in the last movie. Charlotte Rampling returned as the Reverand Mother Gaius Helen Mohaim, she had more to do in this film like pretty much everyone else. She plays the part of a grand puppet master well, and her interactions with Irulan help give some good scenes outside of Arrakis and Giedi Prime. Finally, David Bautista as Glossu Rabban Harkonnen gets a bit more screentime. His character remains the same overall from both movies, but Bautista plays him well, Rabban has a lot of big emotion that can be a bit much, but that’s more on the character writing. Still, he plays the part of this nasty and violent guy well.

Because Dune: Part Two is slightly longer than the first Dune, but adapts less material, the filmmakers had more room to bring something new to the film. As I mentioned, Chani is much more fleshed out and different here than in the book. Denis Villeneuve is a Dune fan and hopes to make a third film by adapting the book Dune: Messiah. A book that was written by Frank Herbert in reaction to people finding Paul a straightforward hero. Villeneuve takes this opportunity to cast Chani in a more prominent role, actively questioning Paul’s role and intentions, while still depicting a convincing relationship between the two. There is also a fleshing out of the Fremen and a creation of internal differences between the Fremen in this movie. A cultural divide between Fremen living in the north and the south of Arrakis was depicted which was not present in the books. I was onboard with this choice, and many of the others as well. I thought they were done with sincere care for the source material and a desire to either improve on aspects that were lacking, or to highlight themes that Frank Herbert wanted people to pick up on.

After all these viewings I can say that I love Dune: Part Two as much as I love Dune, it was such a great time and I once again highly recommend it.

Amadeus (1984):

Thinking back on Amadeus, I realize I perhaps undersold it in my original review. This is such a beauty of a film. Its scenes are so luxurious and full of life, it really is a great period piece. The music and the sets really make it such a treasure to dive into. I said before that the rivalry between Salieri and Mozart was the best part and I still maintain that but with an aside that the music and sets and costumes are a close second best. The fact that Salieri is seething with resentment and jealousy throughout the whole film makes it such a delicious drama. We are forced into his perspective because of how the movie is structured, with Mozart’s point of view only secondary. This lets the viewer ride along with Salieri’s emotions, to witness the anger when slighted by Mozart, intentionally or not, or his awe when witnessing Mozart’s work.

I watched the Director’s Cut, which did have one scene that went on for too long, in which Mozart is watching a play with his family, and I think it could’ve been cut by perhaps 2 or 3 minutes. Other than this I have no complaints about the movie.

The use of diegetic music was an inspired choice that really made it feel like you’re watching Salieri’s memories instead of a movie, and how he is haunted by Mozart’s genius through his entire life. My favourite part is still the scene in Mozart’s apartment where he and Salieri are working together, and I still think that there was some intention on Salieri’s part to harm Mozart by pushing him to work harder. Perhaps not a murderous intention, but a sinister one, nonetheless. I don’t have much more to say here, I mostly wanted to make it clearer that this was a good movie which is well worth the watch.

Starship Troopers (1997)

Starship Troopers is such a fun watch, guys. It has the glossy, sweaty sheen of 80s and 90s action flicks, with all the schlocky goodness that comes with it. Its satirical subtext is not so obscure that you would miss it on a casual viewing, so it’s not like it’s that dense of a movie. I don’t have much more to say that I haven’t already said in my Kino Night in Kanada review, other than to recommend that you watch this movie as soon as possible, preferably with friends and some beers.

The End: For Now

Since this is my first Monthly Movie Review, things will probably change as I go, reflecting any changes I think would make these reviews better. I also would like to hear from you, the readers. Please let me know if you have any suggestions for structure, style, and content. Future Monthly Movie Reviews will not cover all the movies I watched in a month, only the ones that I might have more to say on. Since I saw a small number of movies this month, I decided to write a bit about each of them to have some more substance to this article. Thank you for reading.

I love the return to form that is happening with café patrons reading more and sharing their reviews 🥰 Inspired by the reading roundups of Elisa & Eddie, I thought I'd share my reviews of what I’ve been reading thus far in 2024 (but in my own style).

I will preface this with the fact that I don't like to know too much about a book going in. I think going in mostly blind to most media is something I'm starting to really appreciate. It is for that reason that I won't say too much about the contents of the books in my reviews. I also will not ascribe a rating to each as 1) I don't care enough to keep track as I finish reads 2) you may feel differently and 3) most books land fairly neutral anyways.

So with that out of the way, let's get into my reading roundup for the first quarter of 2024…

Stats breakdown from Jan – Mar 2024

• Total books read: ~7
• Reading mediums: 1 physical book, 5 audiobooks, 1 e-book
• Time spent reading: 34 hours

Books Read + Reviews

Heartstopper Volume 5 by Alice Oseman Medium: e-book copy of graphic novel

This was newly released in December 2023 and I was fortunate that I got to read this in the first week of January through the library. The Heartstopper graphic novels are such a comfort read, and this was no exception. This latest installment further explores Nick & Charlie's relationship, especially with Nick being in his senior year. Unlike most of the other volumes I read last year, the content of this one has not been captured in the show yet so it was especially endearing to get a glimpse of what's next for all the characters in this universe.

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport Medium: Audiobook

I read Newport’s Deep Work back in 2021 and I have had this one on my list since then. For anyone unfamiliar, Digital Minimalism is about being intentional with your technology use and curating how you want to interact with it so it only enriches your life. However, I think if I had read this back in 2021, some of the messages, insights, and action items would have been lost on me. Visiting this now that I am already somewhat in a state of digital minimalism allowed me to have new considerations for what this meant for me in my life, and how I might implement the takeaways. I will probably share more about this in another upcoming Printhouse article, but I do think it's a worthy read if the concept piques your interest.

Everyone in this Room will Someday be Dead by Emily Austin Medium: Audiobook

This was an… interesting one. I added this to my TBR based on a video from one of my favourite creators where she shared a minimal synopsis and did a live reading of an excerpt. The gist of this one is that it's about a young woman who struggles with social interactions and cues. The main character gets herself into some predicaments as a result, such as accidentally accepting a job where the previous employee died and getting in a relationship with someone she had no interest in dating in the first place. I think this tidbit about the previous employee dying lead me to expect something that leaned more thriller, but this was not the case. While I could appreciate some of the thought patterns and observations the main character makes, the whole thing is very stream of consciousness inner dialogue. That said, I think one of the beautiful things about reading is that it can expose us to different perspectives. So while I could not relate to a lot of what the protagonist experiences and normally would not have chosen this read for myself, I was able to expand my horizons. Additionally, I thought this book was set in New York or something so the narrator dropping Toronto-relevant names (and mispronouncing Elgin) was a jumpscare.

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come – One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan Medium: Audiobook

I think the title of this book downplays and does a disservice to what it actually has to offer. The book is part self-help and part memoir. It follows Jessica Pan, self-proclaimed Shintrovert (Shy Introvert), and her adventures over the course of a year to become more outgoing and confident. While this is what she identifies as her goal at the beginning of the process, and it does provide somewhat of a through line for her experiences, Pan touches on so many other themes and experiences. What stood out to me: her pursuit to make friends and the effort it entailed as an adult (especially as an expat); her candid reflections on loneliness; the perceptions by others of what she was doing; the lessons she picked up from her various mentors; her journey towards feeling more confident performing on stage; and above all, how to host a great dinner party. Although the beginning felt a bit preachy and pick me girl, Pan eventually finds her footing and transitions her storytelling into something vulnerable and endearing. Since I listened to this via audiobook, by the end I felt like I had been on a long wholesome phone call with an old friend. I think you'll appreciate this read if you want to break out of your shell more, make more meaningful connections with both new and old people in your life, and/or improve your social life.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang Medium: Audiobook

Wow. I think this is my favourite read of 2024 so far. This was another one of those books that came highly recommended by the BookTok community but where the synopsis was kept minimal. June Hayward is friends with Athena Liu, an Asian American author who is a successful starlet of the publishing industry. June witnesses the tragic death of Athena, takes the manuscript for Athena’s upcoming novel, and goes on to rework it and pass it off as her own. The only hiccup? The novel is about the history of Chinese labourers in WWI. And you guessed it… June is white. The book follows June’s actions and how she continues to double down on her lies. It's incredible how Kuang is able to oscillate June's racist delulus with brief moments of guilt and clarity. This has me even more interested to read Babel by this author now that I've been exposed to her writing style.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Hunger Games Prequel) by Suzanne Collins Medium: Physical

As far as a spin-off prequel about President Snow goes, this was quite good. I also found the world-building intriguing with how Panem, The Hunger Games, and other aspects we first visited in Katniss’ timeline came to be. Readers of The Hunger Games trilogy are treated to a number of moments of realization on the origins. Most of all, I didn't expect to be reading about Coriolanus Snow being horrendously down bad but there you go.

If I could sum this book up in one line it would be: boy gets his heart broken once and decides to make it everyone else's problem for the rest of his life.

Re: the film – I watched it the day after finishing the book and it felt very Shein quality to me. Looked good visually but upon closer inspection it's shabby and a rushed job. Naturally, the books will usually be better than the adaptation and have more details. I also get that film adaptations are a different medium so stories have to be told differently. But the movie really spoon-fed the audience in a way that downplayed their intelligence and cut out any payoff they might have experienced from piecing things together. There was also no chemistry between the main characters and it just felt like they were tolerating each other?? I think it would have fared better as a mini series.

Dune by Frank Herbert (Book 1 – Dune) Medium: Audiobook

I am pleasantly surprised to say I have really been enjoying reading Dune. Many thanks to Liam for putting us on to this and Noah for proposing the book club! Dune club has definitely made this large read more digestible and I've enjoyed discussing what we read week over week. That said, I'm constantly in awe of how intelligent the writing is and how deep we get to explore the thoughts and motivations of each character. Particularly how they must weigh their words so meticulously (an art I've always admired). The perspective switching is also done very seamlessly and heightens the immersive experience. I unfortunately think that the movie(s) will pale in comparison to me after reading the book but looking forward to it anyways. Lady Jessica is also such a girl boss and the concept of the Bene Gesserit is so cool.

Review of Book 2 & 3 to be covered in the next reading roundup.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

The Blue Jays center core of George Springer, Bo Bichette, Vlad Jr, and the catching tandem of Danny Jansen (as I write this I found out he starts the season injured) and Alejandro Kirk all need to stay healthy, as well as perform to their ability. Vlad Jr has all the makings to become the A+ player his dad was, but needs to take a step forward this season. He currently holds the second highest arbitration salary at over 20 million, and has not performed to that price tag. With his free agency in a few years, the price tag will only go up, and if he does not perform to the Blue Jays standards, could get moved in the coming seasons. Alek Manoah is also returning to the big league roster after he fell apart last season for seemingly no reason. A player who skipped most of the minor leagues, and did not play in the 2020 season, Manoah missing a year of development in addition to fast tracking to the main roster could be a reason for his shakiness, and a fresh season with a full offseason of work could be the remedy for him.

With the Baltimore Orioles, New York Yankees, and Tampa Bay Rays all contenders for the AL East, its important that the Blue Jays stay as consistent as possible, something that has been trouble for them in the past. An excellent defensive team, the offense is the biggest question for them this year.

As of right now, the Blue Jays 2024 roster looks like this:

STARTING ROTATION – Jose Berrios, Kevin Gausman, Chris Bassitt, Yusei Kikuchi, Yariel Rodriguez/Alek Manoah/Mitch White

BULLPEN – Jordan Romano, Erik Swanson, Trevor Richards, Zach Pop, Nate Pearson, Tim Mayza, Chad Green, Genesis Cabrera, Yimi Garcia

CATCHERS – Danny Jansen, Alejandro Kirk, Brian Serven

INFIELDERS – Bo Bichette, Cavan Biggio, Ernie Clement, Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Spencer Horwitz, Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Davis Schneider, Justin Turner

OUTFIELDERS – Kevin Kiermaier, George Springer, Daulton Varsho, Cavan Biggio

DH – Justin Turner

AI is different. The utility of AI technologies is obvious to anyone who isn't sticking their fingers in their ears or burying their head in the sand out of fear. AI tools like ChatGPT are being used and abused by millions of people. Image generation technology is producing images of increasingly astounding clarity. Every few months, a new tool exponentially more capable than what was being used even a year before is announced. Unlike NFTs – which have died, and Bitcoin – which lives in an endless yoyo of collapse and recovery, AI has already begun to be integrated into the social fabric in a way that makes it obvious that it is not going anywhere. Yet despite this widespread adoption, AI seems to fill many people with a not totally unreasonable dread. Digital artists in particular seem to be the most vocal critics of this technology. Their reactions to it vacillate between desperate fear of replacement and smug disdain towards its supposed incapability. In this article I'm going to address and respond to the response to AI from professional artists and their friends and allies: what they are right about and what they get wrong.

Are AI images art?

The most common criticism levied by artists is that AI is incapable of producing art. I suppose this opinion is subjective, as art is difficult to define, but I would strongly agree. AI is not an “artist” or a producer of art in itself, but a tool of production.

One of my favourite art commentators, Brad Troemel, points out that art fundamentally is an expression of subjective experience. In Troemel's opinion, art flows from the artist's relationship with and perception of the world around them. Each artist's style is unique and usually distinguishable, even if only subtly. I think this is a fairly intuitive statement. It's why diversity is valued so highly in art in a way that it isn't in warehouse work or manufacturing line supervision. The art world generally wants there to be a large range of subjective experiences among artists as it leads correspondingly to a wide range of artistic expression. The fact that AI “art” generators tend to produce images, poems, and stories that mimic human art implies that the AI is not engaging in art as an artist. While it is technically possible that the subjective experience of a diffusion model or a large language model is similar to a human's, I seriously doubt it. If AI were engaging in art as a producer rather than as a tool of production, we should expect it to produce something different from human art, possibly something incomprehensible or more akin to the average output of Deep Dream than Stable Diffusion. As it exists now, generative AI merely mimics what a probability model expects a human to produce. If a human is not involved in the design process of a piece, an AI art piece is merely a simulacrum of human expression.

To be art, a piece must be made with AI instead of by it. The qualitative distinction here is frustratingly unobjective. If I were to draw a stick figure scene and feed it into an image-to-image model, would the product be made by or with AI? If I draw 99% of a complete landscape and then use AI to generate a tree in the background of the image, is the final piece made by or with AI? In the latter case, how is the use of AI fundamentally different than the use of another assistive tool like a ruler or a compass? YOU may have hard answers to all of these questions, but that doesn't actually matter. The distinction between “too much” and the “right amount” of AI assistance in the artistic process will vary between different producers and consumers of art.

Are artists replaceable?

Artists aren't wrong to make the point that pure AI images are not art and I support that position, it's just irrelevant to the debate around generative AI. This point exists as a mask over the true dispute between digital artists and AI, which is that AI is a nearly apocalyptic threat to artists as a social class. In accusing images made with or by AI of being “fake” art, they are not motivated by some instinct to snobbishly gate-keep but by a material need to convince consumers of art that what they produce can not be replaced.

As a commodity, art has 2 broad use values. The first is art for its own sake. There is an “art world” of artists, galleries, and collectors that produce and consume art as a commodity due to the perception of art production as a noble pursuit. To the people in this world, the idea that AI could replace artists is farcical. Art exists to expose observers to a unique subjectivity. Fundamentally, the logic of the art world is an unusual condition of production. Artists in this sphere are monopoly producers, the value of their art determined largely by the perception of them as a brand. A piece by Banksy is more valuable than your average street artist not because of the socially necessary labour time of Banksy's work but because art by Banksy is a class of commodity in and of itself.

The art world only makes up a tiny fraction of art consumption. Most consumption of art falls under art's other use value: representation of a concept in the world at large. Images drawn by humans exist as book covers, advertisements, warning signs, representations of fictional characters, and even, unfortunately, pornography. The consumer of this class of art commodity is everyone. It is impossible to live in the 21st century and not consume some subset of this second class of art as a commodity. The vast majority of expenditure on this specific class of commodity art is done not for the love of art in and of itself but because the art serves some sort of social purpose.

It is true that AI can never replace artists whose art lies largely within the first category, but most working artists fall into the second category. They live on commissions or contracts or as designers within a corporate structure. It is this second category of artists whose position is threatened by AI image generation. Because their art is only art incidentally and is instead consumed for a purpose outside pure appreciation, their work could conceivably be replaced with an image that is not art, as long as it is a close enough approximation to still sufficiently fulfill the social purpose a human artist would've been hired to meet. It is certainly true that there are people who appreciate the artistry of book covers, print advertisements, and even road signs, but this appreciation is not why those forms of visual art are manufactured.

Of course, this is only a threat if AI is capable of fulfilling the social need common art fulfills. Digital artists' second refrain after “AI art is not art” is usually “Even if AI art is art, it isn't good art.” This isn't unfounded. There still exists a gap between human artists and AI art, but complaints made today are often “this high-quality image of a man has an extra finger” and not the complaint that “this image is not recognizable as a man” that people were making only a year or two ago. The progress of AI image generation has been extremely rapid and there isn't a good reason to believe we've reached a plateau in capability. Take for example the popular generator MidJourney. These are pairs of images generated from the same prompts one year apart:

“A superhero like Batman with a dark red futuristic cardinal themed costume. He has a mask with a beak. In comic book style.”

“A female teenage superhero. She has red hair. Her costume is Italy-themed. She has an Italian flag for a cape. In comic book style.”

AI image generation has progressed so incredibly fast that as early as 2022 it was found that image generators could literally be trained to use human brainwaves as a prompt to reconstruct an imagined image. (Takagi, Yu and Nishimoto, Shinji, 2022)

Image generation threatens the livelihood of the common artist and threatens to destroy them as a social class. This is the real source of animosity between artists and AI. The existence of AI image generation lowers the labour value of art as a commodity for its use value as a representation of a concept to well below the cost of hiring an artist to perform the same social function. The answer to “are artists replaceable” is in many cases, yes.

The future of artists

If you asked the average person whether or not they would rather buy a book that has a cover drawn by a human or an AI, they would probably say a human. But what about when it becomes impossible to tell the difference? What about if a book with an AI-drawn cover is a dollar cheaper? If you asked the average person if they would rather buy food grown by a local farmer or a farmer on the other side of the planet, they will probably SAY local but buy cheaper foreign produce anyway. When actually confronted with the consumer decision the cheaper option is chosen more often as long as it meets the same need.

To an outsider, the fight between artists and AI seems less like an ideological dispute between “pro” and “anti” AI and more like the impotent riots of the Luddites in Britain between 1811 and 1817. Just as the Luddites were unable to stop capitalism's tendency to concentrate wealth, proletarianize, and increase productivity so too will artists be unable to roll the world back to how it was before the AI explosion. As @h has said about this very topic, “the genie cannot be put back in the bottle.”

Even though artists are staring down an AI-generated image of a barrel of a gun, art will continue to be made. Artistic expression is a part of the human condition. Art will still be produced as a hobby and there will still be (a much smaller group of) artists able to survive by selling their art to common people, just as there are still people who sell artisanal candles and knit hats even though 99% of candles and hats are now mass produced.

There will also continue to be Banksys and Gerhard Richters. Artists whose art is a luxury product consumed within the community of the “art world.” These people will probably come to embrace AI as a useful tool like their predecessors did with the once unprestigious acrylic paint and plastic paint brushes. However, with the prospect of a professional career in art becoming even bleaker in a post-AI world, more of these people will be sons and daughters of the wealthy and connected within that already insular community of fine artists.

Capital concentration is inevitable and immiseration comes for us all. Artists are no exception.

Coming soon

It's been a long time since I published something on the printhouse. That's because I've fallen into a bad habit of starting research on an article, planning the article, and then coming up with an idea for a different article and starting all over again. As a result, I have an ever-clogging pipeline of articles in production. Look for the following coming in the indeterminate future: – Range Feudalism 2: If they are victims of this tendency, why do farmers tend to support this? – Software Exchange Value redux: my original article contains a fundamental error so I unpublished it. I'm reworking it and when it is released again, it's going to be very different from how it was before. – Automation: a follow-up to this article about the (im)possibility of AI technology totally replacing the proletariat. – Culture War: what is it and where does it come from? Is there any escape? – Deep learning From First Principles: an explanation of how exactly AI works assuming nothing but high school math knowledge.

I think in a previous article I promised to write Rage for the Machine, a history of the CIA's infiltration of anti-establishment/counter culture, but I've scrapped this article because a lot of the evidence is simply too schizophrenic or dubious.

Brief summary if you're interested in reading:

Apollo Kagwa is just beginning to settle into his new life as a committed and involved father, unlike his own father who abandoned him, when his wife Emma begins acting strange. Disconnected and uninterested in their new baby boy, Emma at first seems to be exhibiting signs of post-partum depression, but it becomes clear that her troubles go beyond that. Before Apollo can do anything to help, Emma commits a horrific act—beyond any parent's comprehension—and vanishes, seemingly into thin air. Thus begins Apollo's journey through an enchanted world to find his wife.

Score: ⚫⚫⚫⚪⚪

Not what I expected but interesting enough (barely) to read through just out of curiosity for what happens next.

Summary if you're not interested in reading below:

I love thrillers and fantasy. But I did not sign up for 448 pages of parenting horror. I went through the entire book wondering when the fairies showed up AND THERE WERE NO FAIRIES.

Themes:

The theme was don't share your child's pictures on the internet or child predators (fantasy edition) will get them. This isn’t a joke. The bad guy starts kidnapping children so he can livestream them interacting and then getting eaten by a troll (there’s a line about SUBSCRIBER TIERS in the book).

The actual themes are that parenthood is difficult but a gift, love for your family conquers all, and generational trauma can be broken. And don’t share your child's pictures on the internet or child predators will get them. But the ending technology stuff is incredibly overwhelming compared to the emotional resolution for both Emma and Apollo.

A lot of technology shows up throughout the book halfway through – Patrice being a tech guru, William being a programmer, BOTH OF THEM WRITING SHITTY APPS?? Patrice wrote Daylight, an app that DRAINS IPAD BATTERY IN 4 MINUTES because SCREEN BRIGHTNESS. The other guy wrote an app that’s ‘airbnb for boats’ (how it’s actually described by him in the book). There’s a paragraph about Patrice’s big powerful machine with an Intel i7 blah blah blah- and there’s a ‘tell it to me in English’ scene too. I hate it here. The abrupt switch from ‘living normal life’ to ‘TECHNOLOGY IS HERE NOW’ wasn’t eased by any mention of tech advancements to clue the reader in.

Another issue I had was all the women either live off the grid or aren’t involved at all with technology. Why wasn’t Emma concerned at all with Apollo posting every detail of their son on Facebook? Why wasn’t there also at least an argument between the two about blaming him for posting so much when those stalking photos showed up? Pacing:

The first third of the book is about the life of Apollo, his grandfather’s and grandmother’s life, then his and his wife’s. It was kind of dull because it really, really wants to drill into you Apollo's daddy issues and his father's issues. The next 2 thirds meander through the big issue of Apollo struggling being a new parent and dealing with his wife's postpartum depression, except this time she's right to kill the child. There's a lot of ‘this was established, but that was wrong actually’ to switch up the story, but it's all people telling Apollo rather than him figuring out anything on his own. The same is true for the plot itself, with people sending him messages to tell him where to go.

And there's barely any magic. On the magic island he gets beat up with clubs.

In the last fourth of the book we really get into confrontation. The villain's father gives a monologue on why they do evil things in a noble attempt to give his son time to escape, and his son ignores his father's dead body to go back to the computer and spy on people through their laptops. He also calls the father of the family he's spying on a ‘beta cuck’.

Writing Style:

The descriptions and overall writing style is fine.

It’s annoying how the book keeps pulling out of the action of the scenes by referring to ‘us’. ‘Our solar system’, ‘your imagination’, small things like that peppered throughout the book that feel incredibly out of place while we’re still in the mind of the characters. It really does feel like the author is ‘telling’ you a story, in the way that a grandfather might tell a story to his fidgety young grandson by referring to him directly so he’d be more invested.

It happened again. I'm going to lose it. (Author’s note: I got used to this later, but it doesn't change my opinion that it sucks as a part of the writing ‘style’.)

The repetition of the main character’s reassurance to himself: “I am the god Apollo” is a really nice touch. It's repeated throughout the story at crucial moments, and anchors the character. This also has the very funny payoff (other than making you pay attention to his name) where you can clap at the end when you realise he kills the troll with sunlight. (Author’s note: Apollo is god of the sun)

Final Thoughts:

It's a solid book but not the book for me. I'm not a parent and I think technology is good actually and I already know that posting your child on the internet is stupid. I wish the characters were written better so more of them could feel alive rather than simple fixtures of Apollo's life. The brief moments with Cal from the magic island are so fun because she's allowed to be a person, not just a character in his orbit. Even though we read about Apollo's mom's life, we never see who she is afterwards outside of her being a hardworking immigrant mother to him. Emma's friends are completely written out of Apollo's life once Emma exits from his. Patrice suddenly becomes a tech guru halfway through the book because the story needs one to fight the super tech savvy guy (they reveal the bad guy as an internet troll too and it turns out the thing the children are being fed to is A MYTHICAL TROLL. WOW! Revolutionary for young boomers/old millenials who embody ‘old man yells at cloud’).

Really interesting themes of generational trauma and parenthood that get absolutely overwhelmed by ‘don’t spam post your child on the internet or the predators will kidnap them’ conclusion.

he surface of the planet is sleek, white ice without terrain as far as the eye can see, but for the snow dunes which rise and fall, moving over time as waves with the wind. Even in the insulated safety of your cockpit and hard-suit, you can feel the cold taunting your extremities- like an icy god playing with you on the tip of his knife. The only thing that lives here is the brutal and vast howling wind.

As your Mech carries you on the trek across this ghost-world, your mind wanders to the ice. You wonder how deep it goes, and remember that your briefing had no mention of that.

Suddenly the white-blue canvas of nothingness is pierced by a small black beetle crawling over the horizon- or it reminds you of one as it approaches from a great distance. But as it approaches, it is clear that these are no beetles. Hulking, almost waddling metal beings, holding close to the chest giant assault rifles and glaring back at you with a piercing red, glowing eye.

Nonno and Nonna's house was truly a portal to another place in time- homemade lasagna, a smell I had yet to learn was homemade wine, and so on. One thing was for certain though, Nonna would sit us down at the television and put on the channel that only plays 80's cartoons. It would become fairly obvious that she just wanted an excuse to watch Looney Tunes- but there was always one sound in particular that I was waiting for. Ever since then, myself and countless other idiot kids have been hooked on giant robots ever since.

There's a lot of reasons that the impossible mecha fantasy is attractive- It is something that is made by humans but is not human. The mecha robot is transcendent, an idealized form that we can assume. The mecha symbolizes more than any vehicle or weapon can on it's own; it is a projection of identity and a visual of raw titanic power. The psychology of mecha is a blogpost for another time, but the important thing is that it is a visceral genre that plays with expressions of self, power fantasies, and fascinations with machines- just all the stuff we're addicted to.

At some other indeterminate point in time, brother Noah sent me in the direction of LANCER, a tabletop game not unlike, and yet very unlike some dungeons and dragons you may be familiar with. Of course, I was enchanted by the artwork at first, which is brilliant. By Miguel Lopez and Tom Parkinson Morgan, (aka, Abbadon,) Lancer is a game where your players will be taking on the role of elite mechanized cavalry pilots, rivalled in skill by few, and taking on a galaxy of deadly machinery. In this post I'll mostly rave about the game, and share some snippets from our recently wrapped campaign, which spanned about a total 18 sessions, (or, by my crude estimation somewhere around 70 hours, give or take).

It started as a one-shot, just a short little adventure to try out the system and see if it would stick. I wrote up an intro mission called “OLD_DOG”, but there was a problem- we were going to need a team. A group of specially assembled psychos who were up to the challenge of the most nerdy shit known to all mankind...

You are aboard the Starship UNS Marigold, a small sized freighter ship that runs the edge of Union space, the outskirts of governed territory. When you had boarded the Marigold, you noted the bizarre asymmetry of the geometric craft- it seemed a miracle that this frankensteins starship could lift off the ground at all, though for that it gives no small thanks to an army of retractable stabilizing fins and growling blue thrusters. The only hint of elegance on this monstrous ship are the bright yellow and orange flowers painted along sections of the hull, seemingly having grown over the ship's previous markings.

Three realtime days have passed since takeoff. You knew that you had not been put aboard the most luxurious type of craft (in fact, this is probably as cheap as it gets,) but this had been torture- with no windows on the entire ship, and only a tiny crewman's quarter to call your own, what had only a few days earlier seemed a dauntingly large vessel quickly shrank into a cramped, claustrophobic box in the middle of outer space, with no exits. More than that, if you have never experienced zero-G environments before, you're probably only now getting used to your own weightlessness.

The setting of Lancer is one of the most unique pre-written settings I've seen for a game. Set in the impossibly distant future of 5016u, humanity has spread across the stars and become a vast, scattered and diasporan race. The only real galactic government is an organization called Union; a collection of worlds dedicated to equity and human rights. Recently reformed and re-consolidating its power, Union looks to turn a new leaf for the galaxy, and from its own checkered past.

Union and much of the galaxy at large exist in a state of post-capitalist, post-scarcity; thanks to the invention of 'printers', and an endless supply of resources thanks to space-travel, there is no need for such primitive class struggles. The revolution has happened, and it happened a millennium ago. For many, the barbarism of capitalist society is not even a memory. But not all the galaxy is so enlightened, or free. This is the Union's great project, and where our heroes come in.

The dystopian science fiction has become deeply engrained in the greater genre, and is not entirely without it's merits. A dystopian fiction has much to say about real life issues, reflecting on a dark future that when done well, is the consequence of the poor choices humanity makes today. Indeed there is much value in the cautionary tale- but we also need fictions to aspire to, fictions that give us hope for a brighter day. While Lancer's galaxy is far from perfect, it is a fiction built around a hopeful future.

A 'lancer' is essentially a term for an ace pilot, a mecha pilot whose skills are a cut above the rest by virtue of raw talent or special training. Imagine a galaxy populated with human life- how many more geniuses, incredible talents and wunderkinds would be produced. Some of these wunderkinds become Lancers.

First in no particular order, was Sebastian Silverago, a farmboy from the deep-union world Karthas who likes to set things on fire. In his pee-paw's old mech, he signed up with Union to improve his skills in the mech-tourneys. Then there was Cordelia Darlington, a pale-haired princess and a deadly markswoman from the serene world of Vernado, accompanied by her retinue of protective royal mechanics. In order to earn her birthright, she took to the battlefield. Finally, Mercury Callaghan: The man from the edge of the galaxy. An experienced killer and an ex-pirate looking to make good with the law, you can always count on Callaghan to do something unconventional, or potentially insane.

The game system itself though, could fit right into whatever type of world you can think to make it work in, with minimal tweaking.

 
THE GALAXY OF "LANCER, The 1984 Original Series"
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1. Cradle     4. Vernado
2. Karrakis   5. Nebula Terminal
3. Karthas    6. Ichor

Building Lancer characters is based more around the horizontal progression than slowly powering up over time. Each frame (essentially your robot's class,) has three levels you can put into it. Mixing and matching parts from different machine archetypes to create something nasty and effective is the fun of Lancer characters, taking all the options in the book and making a sheet that feels truly unique to your character.

Like a shower-curtain, the goliath pushes aside brick, splintering wood and shattering glass. The goliath's red eye scans the battlefield, assessing. Even now, you know that the UNS Marigold has begun its descent from above the clouds. The clock is ticking now.

The Goliath points this giant's shotgun, bearing a giant shield mounted on the upper arm which is inscribed with the names of the dead of the city guard. A resounding BROOOOOMP! erupts from the black barrel of this sonic weapon.

Let's face it, when it comes to D&D combat mechanics, it is what it is. There are some times that rolls simply need to be fudged on the other side of that screen, and that's just a necessity for extracting narrative tension from those mechanics. After your turn is over, you begin a new quest to find the bottom of the pretzel bowl, because you will be doing nothing at all for the next 20 minutes. In Lancer, it never felt necessary to do any of that, and while I don't have an exact answer why, I have to imagine it's because the combat feels so interactive as it is.

I would joke that I had successfully tricked everyone into just playing a wargame with me, but it is true in a lot of ways. In Lancer, you're going to be thinking about things like line of sight, range, cover, terrain, and team tactics. More-so, as the GM, setting traps for players has never felt so devious and evil.

The most interesting, and interactive part of the whole game is the way Lancer handles initiative. You wont be rolling or adding any agility bonuses. Instead, each team decides their own turn order as the round progresses. This leads to some seriously interesting strategic decisions. Should Callaghan go first, trying and take down the big opponent with his melee attacks, or allow Cordelia to try her smartgun on the invisible assassins, but meanwhile risking a big attack on himself from the enemy demolisher? There were plenty of moments where the difference in the decision of which party member would go first was palpably the difference between life and death- and watching the party seriously discuss the merits of their options is one of the true joys of GMing.

Likewise, as a GM you will begin to think tactically as well. Player characters in Lancer are powerful from the start, and this really enables a DM to stop pulling punches- making things deadly in this game rewards the experience greatly. Of course, you don't do this by padding npc stats (usually,) but by fielding considered teams of NPCs that have their own strategies and can compensate for each other's weaknesses. Want to add some snipers to the next fight to really force the players to use cover?– better add some defenders to protect against a straight charge, or a controller to provide an additional distraction. As aforementioned, Lancer is kind of a game for when the GM wants to play killteam, but the players want a roleplaying game, and in my opinion, it fuses the best of both worlds.

Lancer is clearly though not explicitly inspired by battletech, but takes advantage of the recent and gushing influx of D&D roleplayers by taking that tactical, interactive combat and making it player-sided and diverse enough to work with the 'new crowd'.

Let me put it this way, it's like battletech, except not for old geezers. This is the young folks' battletech, a battletech for blue-haired baristas, for graphic-tee loving anarcho-communists, and for tumblr girlies- which is deeply to its credit. (battletech also rules btw)

Towering mechs bearing waving banners have turned the sky into a patchwork quilt of many colours. Knights, Union Soldiers, and freelancers have formed the united army that now marches on enemy ground. Above your own heads a black banner flies, on which a coiling red dragon holds an orange flower between its fangs.

Your band marches past smoking craters, destroyed homes, and a large but deliberately placed metal slate, painted with obscenities and most prolifically; “UNION DOGS, FUCK OFF AND GO HOME!” The heavy rain has made alliance with the blistering winds which bombard your company.

Your skin yet stings from the kiss of the tattoo artist's laser brush, but by now you are built of tougher stuff and it is barely a fleeting nuisance to your senses. You are running on little sleep, but you've gone with less. Ahead may be your greatest battle yet- a siege that may end the war on the planet called Ichor.

If you can get an enthusiastic group together to play Lancer, I highly recommend. We probably got lucky, because any rpg group is a unique and singular dynamic, and everybody just really understood the vibe of the game. Sometimes the rules can get a little crunchy and you might have to crack open and check the rules on something now and again, but it's not overbearing on the overall experience.

LANCER, The 1984 Original Series (a story only four people will ever know): PART ONE 1. Pilot(s) 2. Trial By Fire 3. Beer Pong 4. Goodbye, Centurion 5. Dragonslayers 6. Left Behind 7. Rescue Part I 8. Rescue Part II 9. The LANCER Halloween Special PART TWO 1. Time-Bomb 2. The LANCER Holiday Special 3. Red Wire 4. Glass Throne 5. The Phantom Centurion 6. One Last Night on Ichor 7. Tombworld 8. He said, “I guess I'm just homesick.”

further reading: – massif press – transformers, the movie – Neon Genesis Evangelion – zeroranger

For all today's bluster about mental health awareness, I rarely see compelling or empathetic discussion of what mental illness is. Intuitively, we understand a broken bone is a thing, a damaged physical object, an injured part of a human body. A viral infection is at least a physical event, an infestation of minuscule packets of genetic information, propagated through a human body. The common story goes that depression is an imbalance of neurotransmitters, an issue with brain chemistry. While I don't think this story is entirely without merit—I don’t want to discourage anyone from seeing if medication-based treatment can help them—it doesn't satisfy me. It seems to sidestep the problem. I want to propose a different definition of depression, not as a physical issue with human body, but as a self-reinforcing pattern of subjective phenomenological experience—in my case, recursively-driven dissociative yearning.

The neurotransmitter story of depression differs from broken bones and viral infections on the grounds of diagnosis. The latter two afflictions are (or at least, can be) physically verified. A swab up the nose can physically detect a virus, an x-ray gives a picture of a shattered radius & ulna. This isn't the case with depression. No doctor is taking samples of brain tissue to check for neurotransmitter balance. The neurotransmitter theory comes later, a post-hoc explanation for the physical behavior and subjective phenomenological symptoms on which depression is actually diagnosed.

The latter category, subjective phenomenological symptoms, is of interest. Consider that a doctor might diagnose a patient with a viral infection by listening to them describe how they feel. But even if the patient feels fine, they could still be diagnosed with that same infection if a nose swab come back positive. The subjective phenomenological symptoms (how the patient feels) are secondary to the observable physical evidence of infection (presence of virus in the body). Depression, by comparison, has no observable physical evidence. Like other mental illnesses, it's diagnosed wholly on self-reported phenomenology and assessments of behavior. Even if we could easily sample an individual's neurotransmitter levels, and found them shockingly low, they wouldn't be considered eligible for a modern depression diagnosis off that alone. Diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of the following two subjective phenomenological symptoms, as per the DSM-5: – (1) Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day – (2) Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day

There's no way to write this piece without discussing my personal case. I personally suffer from (2). I've suffered from some variation or degree of (1) and (2) since early adolescence. Personal experience is no small part of why the neurotransmitter story doesn't interest me. It is so detached from my moment-to-moment experience as to mean nothing. Telling me that the neurotransmitter levels in my brain are what causes my (2) has no meaningful connection to my actual experience of (2). You may as well tell me my depression is caused by bad humors in my blood, curses from devious sprites, or karmic retribution for past-life sins. I don't particularly care what the 'cause' is, because any hypothetical cause is so unrelated to what my experience of (2) actually is—straightforward phenomenology.

I am depressed—I can use that term to describe myself—because I experience (2). This is our starting point. My specific, idiosyncratic experience of (2) is my depression. This is to say, the way a broken arm is the shattered bone or a viral infection is the presence of parasitically self-propagating packets of genetic material, my depression is my phenomenological experience of (2). Maybe that phenomenological experience could be explained by neurotransmitters in the same way a broken arm can be explained by jumping off a playground slide or a viral infection can be explained by eating bad food. But the cause is not the affliction itself. The depression is the phenomena.

Talking about phenomenology is difficult, because words don't map cleanly onto it. The purpose of language is to do compression on phenomena, make concessions, create a sizable map of discrete entities permitting some simulacrum of phenomena to be socially shared. The word “tree” is meaningful between Joe and Jill because Joe's phenomenological understanding of what “tree” means is close enough to Jill's such that no discrepancy is likely to arise when casually discussing the subject. Extending this, it becomes immediately clear that mental illness is difficult to talk about because it constitutes a phenomenological malady. An individual's experience of mental illness is not similar enough to common experience to be easily shared and discussed the way a “tree” can. In fact, the patient is defined as mentally ill because they are outside the realm of typical experience. Being mentally ill means suffering from a painful abnormal phenomenology, which by its very nature exists outside the realm of shared experience where language is comfortable and highly effective.

There is no way for the mentally ill to go to a psychologist and show them their mental illness as it is, as they experience it. Subjective phenomena is singular and private. The depressed patient can only bring that psychologist words which compress the (massive, fundamental, confusing, exceedingly painful) phenomena of their mental illness into generalized, socially-useful language-space—then they can only hope the nuances are accurately unpacked on the psychologist's end. In fairness, when it comes to mental illness, a psychologist is probably better at unpacking language than most. It's their job. But no matter how talented and empathetic the psychologist is, as soon as they respond, the patient becomes the party responsible unpacking language into phenomenological understanding—a task they have to accomplish in spite of the phenomenological malady which brought them to the psychologist in the first place.

It should go without saying that valid advice which makes perfect sense within the frame of the psychologist’s intuition often has no hope of being accurately unpacked by a depressed patient. Packing-unpacking-packing-unpacking—it easily slips into unnoticed circular patterns, failing to develop either party's understanding of the core topic, that being the patient’s depression and how to treat it. Trying to use talk therapy to resolve depression is like trying to explain Ulysses using facial expressions. There simply isn't enough available nuance.

I think it's unfortunate how little grasp most people have on the concept of their own phenomenology. This might be the primary 'space' where helplessness in the face of mental illness exists. An individual obviously cannot debug issues with their phenomenology if they can't even meaningfully grasp what 'their phenomenology' is. At a minimum, I suspect it has to be understood—really understood—that emotions and feelings are not reducible to common-sense linguistic taxonomy. Consider descriptors like happy, sad, ambivalent, envious, loving. They're just words. They don't map onto clean-cut distinct phenomena, they just gesture toward broad, hazily-delineated fields within the greater continuum of possible phenomena. If you've lived, you've felt all of those things in a thousand different ways. Deeper than language, anyone can find that even simple feelings are multi-faceted textures of experience, constantly in flux, countless ineffable sensations arising and passing faster than they can be noticed—let alone rationally considered or narratively packaged. Trying to treat mental illness without increasing the fidelity of phenomenological perception is like trying to fix a car without recognizing the single engine under the hood as being made of many distinct parts.

In spite of these hurdles, I'm surprisingly optimistic about my grasp of of depression as a concept. Talking about phenomenology isn't impossible, just hard. I believe the perfect words can occasionally resonate, suddenly clarifying previously indescribable experiences. Such resonance is inherently personal—occurring on the fringes of language, in the ways it's experienced by an individual rather than the in role it serves as a social tool—but that doesn't mean there's zero utility in trying to share it. It would be a shame not to share something so meaningful. Most Zen koans are gibberish until they suddenly enlighten a disciple. The chance at conveying profound understanding is worth trying for.

A few months ago, amidst efforts to practice greater mindfulness, I began to notice a recurring phenomenological motif—the vast amount of time I spent with my consciousness fixated to the idea of an indistinct better future for myself. Fantasies about the next place I'll live, the next meal I'll eat, the next semester where I'll finally study every evening and have the marks to show for it. The feeling was deeply familiar, something I knew I'd been doing since childhood. I gave the habit a shorthand name (“future-tanha”)^{1} and casually noted as it occurred over the next few months.

Over that period, it became clear that “future-tanha” was only a subcategory, an acute instance of a more general feeling—a miserable yearning for an indistinct elsewhere, a yearning for the phenomena of elsewhere-itself^{2}. I recognized it everywhere, in childish daydreams and in suicidal ideation, in manic productivity and in mindless scrolling. Attempting to satiate it was why I used to smoke weed every night before bed, why I still pick up my phone to check the internet first thing almost every morning. So many of my reflexive actions are desperate sprints away from the present moment, toward a sedated, indeterminate elsewhere.

Then I realized, softly at first, but with increasing clarity, this is my depression.

The psychic discomfort that had haunted me since I was twelve, the perpetual internal suffering I've spent over a decade managing, is the presence of this feeling.

Coming to terms with this was an experience of profound resonance as discussed above, a moment of lucid conceptual collapse. It quickly became intuitively obvious that the signified 'my depression' pointed to was one-and-the-same as the signified 'my yearning for elsewhere' pointed to. This created immediate opportunities for new linguistic bootstrapping. Before, reflecting on the phenomena of my depression, I only had one direct-match word to play off it—'depression'. This insight gave me two more: 'yearning' and 'elsewhere', in conversation with one another. Suddenly, I could meaningfully recognize my depression not as a background tone, but as a happening—not as something external to my ego, but as something I do.

I began to recognize 'yearning for elsewhere' as a recursive process that had reinforced itself over the course of my entire life. When the moment is uncomfortable, the mind attaches to elsewhere—a fantasy, a distraction—to escape the discomfort. Maintaining such attachment to elsewhere is uncomfortable and taxing. The present gives itself freely—the future or the past must be constructed within the mind on the stage of the present. This is subtly taxing, subtly painful. Doing it continuously has the net effect of making the present continuously more painful, burdened by the pressure and stress of trying to always escape elsewhere. As the present grows painful, the need for escape becomes even greater—imagine a man dying of thirst, trying to drink more and more seawater. Over time, the mind becomes conditioned into a state of perpetual dissatisfaction with the moment of hand, wholly dependent on fantasies and distractions. Eventually, little or no pleasure exists in the present at all.

I'm not going to lay claim to having discovered the phenomenological mechanism by which depression occurs. I can only speak for myself. But this is a mechanism, a mental pattern, which can spiral into a full-blown clinical depression. It has in my case.

This is an unoriginal complaint, but the world we live in today offers more attention-colonizing 'elsewheres' than any other time in history. It's trivial to escape the moment by scrolling, browsing, ruminating on an endless flow of novel information. Any discomfort can be drowned out by quantity alone. It's all too easy to teach the mind to view an unadulterated present as a threat, something to be escaped. But as discussed, the effort of constructing past and future is painful. Once you've ruined your relationship to the present, there is nowhere comfortable left to go.

I haven't solved all my problems by recognizing my depression as yearning for elsewhere. There are still good and bad days, upswings and downswings that last weeks or months. It has, however, given me some faith back. It's exhausting to spend decades exploring your own mind, rotating through the same tired tropes, feeling broken, clinging to various stories and methodologies in hope of uncovering one that would explain it all. Stepping beyond language—depression as a 'sign'—and into phenomenology—depression as a 'happening', a pattern or motif in my phenomenology that occurs—has given me my first truly new lens on it. There's a part of me that's almost ashamed to write that, remembering all the times before where I convinced myself I'd finally figured it out. Perhaps this insight is just another example of that kind of self-delusion. But I won't talk myself out of a good thing. Words that emerge to describe a familiar, recognized phenomenology feel meaningfully distinct from words in search of a phenomenology to attach themselves to.

I suspect all of mental health care would be better if we started with phenomenology rather than language. You are not a language model, you are not a storybook, you are not a text. You are an embodied person. The complete experience that comes with that is your birthright—nothing is inconsequential or invalid. Every blank moment, every ineffable emotion, every intrusive thought, every hot flash, every half-dream, every weird tingle, every lump in your throat, every smile on your face—none of it is disposable. Depression isn't a lack of neurotransmitters, depression is a distortion of all that, a painful and tragic cognitive maladaptation. If we want to solve depression, we have to start deeper. We have to get in touch with the real moment-to-moment, what happens underneath the words we lean into so heavily.

Another depressive might not find the same 'yearning for elsewhere' that I did. Those words might just be a personal Zen koan, something that resonates with me and me alone. But I confidently believe that every depressive's suffering is in some way a happening, a profound phenomena. Recognizing that with as much nuance and understanding as possible is the minimal prerequisite for countering it—you have to know what's happening if you want to figure out how to make it no longer happen.

Recognizing this with increasing conviction has given me some dim long-term hope for the first time in a long time. That, too, is a happening.

footnotes

{1} I didn't care too much if this was an accurate use of “tanha”, but borrowed the word because the feeling manifested as a painful attachment to the future.

{2} I differentiate the “yearning for elsewhere” from “tanha” broadly, because where tanha attaches itself to many things (perhaps all things), this feeling is defined by its relation to the category of outside the present moment. I could have called it “elsewhere-tanha”, keeping in line with “future-tanha”, but freeing myself from my concerns about butchering Pali makes this all a little easier to discuss.

{3} I've begun to read Gendlin's classic book “Focusing”. What I experienced seems like a textbook case of what he describes as a “felt shift”. I haven't finished the book, so I can't unequivocally recommend it yet, but if this sort of thing interests you it's likely worth checking out.

lright, I got covid again. Might as well use this time to write some reviews on what comics I've read lately. But don't even think about starting this article until I've had my coffee.

Mmmm... You may proceed.

Roaming

by Jillian Tamaki and Mariko Tamaki Published by Drawn And Quarterly Roaming tells the story of three Canadian girls in their first year of college, on a 5-day trip to New York City. I won't say too much of the story, because I want you to read this book, but it deals with only the kind of bullshit that really happens to 19-year-olds, in friendship, fast romance, and sitting next to a weird guy at the airport.

Every page is a pleasure to look at, drawn in a bubbly style that always works. The book is brilliantly coloured with only two pastel hues that create a dreamy and glowing New York City. From front to back, I was floored by the colouring.

The city is almost explicitly the fourth character in the book, depicted sometimes in near photorealistic drawings, and then swirling collages of artwork, landmarks, and people. In a way the depiction of the city is the same as the character studies: We start with the outward identity, the mask the person wears. As we learn about the person, we see more of their insides, what makes them work, their more private self.

Roaming does that thing which so many stories strive to but fall short: depict truth. The truth of young passion, friendship, and wonder, with all its jagged edges and corners. The main characters of Dani, Zoe, and Fiona are distinct personalities that are at times loveable, at times not so, but constantly believable to the point that you can only empathize.

If you are only going to read one comic this year, make it Roaming.

Clippings

by Gabby Golee Self-Published A brilliant little comic with really expressive art that is oozing cuteness and weirdness. Dealing with the awkward relationship between two girls living in a crumbling Torontonian house, I highly recommend buying this here if you want a cute zine by a Torontonian artist who deserves some attention. They also sell some killer stickers on their site.

The Complete Peanuts 1981-1982

By Charles M Schulz, Seth Published by Fantagraphics I don't have to tell you about Peanuts, or Charlie brown, or Snoopy. You already know about them. What I will comment on is the absolute mastery and merits of the daily strip in this volume. By the 80's peanuts had been running in the papers for 30 years, and Schulz displays an unrivalled ability to write consistent, witty jokes and fun storylines into his strip. By the point in time this book collects, he is far past fully developed in both his writing and drawing skills. As a daily strip, there is little put to waste in the drawing, each line is deliberate and there isn't a penstroke more than there needs to be.

One of the hidden abilities of the daily strip is that they collect into volumes so nicely- This book is the most approachable a comic book can possibly get. You can pick it up, read as much or as little as you like, and put it down. You can start reading at the beginning, middle, or end, and not be ruining anything for yourself. Unlike some popular manga like One Piece which boasts over one thousand chapters of continuous story, there is no barrier to entry for Peanuts or similar daily strips. Just start anywhere.

The foreword by Lynn Johnston, (creator of For Better or For Worse, as well as a personal friend to Schulz) is particularly touching and insightful. Her writing paints a picture of an artist obsessed, in melancholy and in love with his craft. Seth's design work on this book, as the other volume of complete peanuts I've gotten my paws on, is also top notch, putting together a hardcover that just looks good wherever it's sitting, that be on a coffee table or part of a collection.

While reading through this volume, I watched Schulz's interview with Charlie Rose and a specific moment I think aged quite well.

Rose: You are a real artist, in your eye. Schulz: You think so? Rose: You think so. Schulz: No. Rose: You don't think cartooning is real art? Schulz: Yes, but, not many cartoons lie into the next generation. Rose: Ah, that's true. Schulz: And that's probably the best definition of art isn't it? Does it speak to succeeding generations?...

Well, I'm sorry to do this Sparky, but I'm going to have to issue a correction on that one. If you want a solid coffee-table book that is witty, but also innocent and pure-fun, look no further.

The Good News Bible: The complete Deadline strips of Shaky Kane

By Shaky Kane Published by Breakdown Press Get ready for a wild one. From 1988 to 1995, Deadline magazine published some radical stuff (see: Tank Girl). This book is a collection of gigantic pages of kirby-esque, punk art that explodes on each page in glorious black and white. The oversized pages really do a lot for me, seeing the art in such fidelity conveys the pure attitude and weight of the drawing.

This book heavily features the 'A-Men', a group formerly NYPD, they have decided that their duty as cops should extend to the spiritual world, enforcing a Christian-facist rule on the city of New York. They take on such heroic tasks as beating on people in their own homes and monitoring all the city's pornography in their massive goon-cave.

Other heroic characters include Metal Messiah, who devours his worshippers with his iron jaws, Insect Erectus, The Sadistic Prowler, and your Pal, Shaky Kane.

Along with provocative and deeply satirical subject matter, I'm hypnotized by the drawing in this book and probably will be for some time, though i probably wouldn't recommend it.

Hunter X Hunter Vol.1

By Yoshihiro Togashi Published by Viz Hunter X Hunter got it's hooks in me pretty quickly with the drawings of wild beasts and simple enough concept. It's pretty formulaic, but doesn't give you any space to get bored. It definitely feels like a spin on Dragon Ball that's original enough to keep you from walking away, which is all that really matters.

I love the idea of the character's power being rooted in their attunement to nature and ability to do things like tell when a storm is coming, or a beast's emotions. I'll be cracking into Vol.2 whenever I feel like getting into another long Shonen Jump series.

This past September, I finally took a pottery workshop that I had been eyeing for a few years. This article kicks off what I hope will be a series of hobby review articles.

The Inspiration

Pottery is one of those hobbies that I always thought was cool, but reached a new interest peak for me during the pandemic. During that time, my social media feed was filled with creators, like the effortlessly cool Lisa Asano, showing off their works. Additionally, the concept of creating things that can be used in everyday life deeply speaks to me and my cottagecore delusions.

Prior Experience Skill Level: 1/5

I had previously taken one pottery class in 2022 where we used hand-building techniques. I did learn a bit about attaching during that session, but aside from that, nothing really transferred over. That experience was frustrating and my pottery pieces were underwhelming. This allowed me to have low expectations going into wheel-throwing pottery. I have also done those pottery painting things and similarly, my expectations did not match the reality of what I was able to paint. All this to say, I took a more reserved approach going into this one.

Week 1 – Throwing

Although I went in with an open mind and low expectations, I could not have anticipated what it was really like to throw pieces on a pottery wheel. Social media creators and other media we consume make it look so effortless. Let me be the first to say, it is HARD WORK.

We started the session by observing our instructor demonstrate technique and form while creating a bowl. Then we were each allocated 3 clumps of clay to make our own creations.

First, you need to centre the ball of clay on the pottery wheel bat (disc that goes on top of the wheel). You do this by smacking down the clay onto the bat. Even this very beginning step can take a few tries, but is integral to your piece surviving the wheel. After your clay has been placed, you'll need to press it down into a mound, cone it back up in height, and then gently guide it back down. This felt redundant but I'm told it helps make the clay uniform. On my first attempt, I felt like I was losing so much clay to my hands.

It's worth noting here that there is a proper form for wheel throwing. Your hands will react differently depending on the step you're on. However, for the most part, you have to be hunched over the wheel with your elbows locked to your thighs so that you are steady and don't get moved around by the wheel as you try to shape the clay. Holding this position for almost 2 hours non-stop is not to be underestimated.

Next, potters need to determine where the centre of their mound of clay is and poke a small hole. If well-centred, you'll then continue to press down into the clay until you create a tunnel. It was a bit hard to gauge how far down to go in order to create a stable base for your piece that isn't too thin or thick.

From there, potters will open, “pull”, and then shape the walls. I'll be the first to admit that I don't have the best upper body or hand strength, but this can be deceivingly hard. The clay wants to fight you as you manipulate it into a hollow structure. You also have to be hyper-aware of the amount of pressure you are applying to both the inside and outside of the walls. Due to the centrifugal nature of the wheel, the clay wants to flare out. This means you need to apply differing pressure on each side to achieve the shape you want. In the case of a tall product like a mug, you almost need to overcorrect and pull towards the centre to get that wall height.

As you can see in the photos below (taken at week 2 after they had dried a bit), it took me a few tries to get the technique of pulling the walls so that the base wasn't too thick and the walls had some height.

Taking each pot off the bat also required some technique and finesse. In some cases, you can see where my hands misshaped the pots as I was taking them off. As we kept saying in our class, it made for an “organic” look.

Week 2 – Trimming & Attaching

Aside from the skill of attaching, I didn’t really know what to expect for this class. Going in, I was under the impression that nothing more was needed to be done to our pots. Unless of course, we wanted to add handles and other attachments of that nature.

Our instructor informed us that trimming your pots is a crucial step, and some pottery guilds won’t even fire your pots in the kiln if they are not trimmed. Pots that are not trimmed have the potential to explode in the kiln and damage others’ pots.

When you trim your pots, you place them upside down on the wheel and shave away the bottom to get rid of excess clay. Additionally, you make them smooth and level so that you do not damage the surfaces you place them on. You can also take the opportunity to further shape or add grooves into your pieces at this stage. I opted to trim excess, carve out some rings, and attach a little flower for my pieces.

Week 3 – Glazing

For this session, we had a separate instructor to go through glazing with us. We started the session by reflecting on what we had learned in weeks 1 & 2, and how we felt about the process. A lot of us recounted how wheel throwing was much harder than we expected, but also meditative in a way.

This instructor also said something rather profound that I wish I had been able to write down in that moment. The sentiment of what she said was that often times in art, things might not turn out the way we were planning in our heads. Sometimes we just have to lean in and accept that the art may have a better plan for itself. She said it more eloquently of course, but it is something I’m carrying with me coming out of this experience.

To start, we took some wet sandpaper to our pieces and filed down any sharp or rough spots on our half-baked pots. After tidying that up with slightly damp sponges, we went in and marked rings around our pots in pencil. The point of this step is to create a ~1cm margin from the bottom for the glaze to stop at. If the glaze runs too far down the pot, it can cause it to stick to the kiln shelf and potentially break when removed. Any areas below the pencil line were covered in wax that we painted on to prevent the glaze from running too far. In the kiln, both the pencil and wax will burn off or melt away.

Next, we were introduced to underpainting. This is where you would do any detailed colouring of your pieces that would go under the general glaze. In my case, I painted the little flower I had attached to one of my bowls. After this, I protected the flower with a layer of wax.

From here, we moved on to learning about the glazes and the techniques that can be used. When it comes to the glazes, they actually intermix in unexpected ways. Unlike how you would mix paint using colour theory to get what colours you want, glazes come with an element of surprise. Although they provided us with chips to show how colours might come out depending on how you layer them, you may still get an unexpected result.

For example, there was a glaze called “celadon”, and one called “oil spill”. My tallest pot is dunked in the celadon glaze, and partially dipped in oil spill. On the colour chips, celadon and oil spill are bright cyan and black, respectively. However, you can see that the pot came out more blueish-teal with a cobalt crackled detailing on the rim as a result of this layering combo. Moreover, if I had reversed the order of the glaze layers, I would have gotten another look entirely.

In the case of my flower bowl, the exterior was meant to come out a cream colour with a maroon interior. Even though it didn’t go to plan, I don’t mind how it turned out.

Final Thoughts

I’m really glad I gave this a try! Although I played it safe, I’m quite happy with how my pots came out. I have already employed them to hold a variety of items.

I think I would take another workshop or two before I got a membership and went at it alone. Despite there being a decent learning curve and a lot of risk involved, I enjoyed the process and it taught me a lot about myself as well.

Pottery wheel throwing is something everyone should try at least once if they have the means to. However, it has a higher price point to entry than most hobbies, and can be physically demanding in an unexpected way. For this reason, I rate it a 9/10.

(ii) Infants don’t know anything. In a very literal sense, they are helpless. Exiting blank quiet of the womb into sound and light. Who could have a chance? Mother feeds them. Much has been written on this. Read Freud. Personally, I think Winnicott did it a little better, but that’s a digression. Either way, we’ve built models, formally or casually, of how this goes. The models tell us that the infant knows nothing of symbols and the logic which directs them. Blob of ineffectual id. Then it learns somehow — movement, language, mastery. It becomes an adult; a neurotic adult, maybe, but a real adult who can talk and walk and chew gum all at the same time. This doesn’t really answer the biggest question: how?

(iii) Chomsky wrote about a ‘universal grammar’. We’re hardwired for something like language. There’s just no other way we could learn something like that so quickly, so robustly. Anyway, this piece isn’t really directly about that, but it’s a good staging ground — what does it mean to implement the universal grammar? That’s what I’m thinking about. Some kids learn mandarin and some kids learn english and some kids learn sign language. Sometimes, adults also learn new languages. It takes them a lot longer. Why can’t they do it the same way?

(iv) Some people have a little voice in their head. Some don’t. When I talk, or when I write, it’s usually an echo of what’s in my head, it’s a few moments behind this voice, the ever-present microphone of the ego. Where did it come from?

(v) So everyone can’t use language at first, then they learn it. During that quiet period, during a time none of us remember, there’s a process of trial and error, single words and broken sentences. The incentives for the child are immense. Every new word is mother’s delight, ever new sentence is a spell, the ability to speak will into existence. The world is still soft and malleable, without distinction between inner and outer. The child wants language, the child needs language. What tools do they have to work with?

(vi) Consider habits and conditioning. Wake up to the sound of an alarm clock every day, a pleasant chime from your phone. That pleasant chime, heard midday after four months of waking to it, will not sound pleasant. The body will react. Call it cortisol, call it bad energy, call it small-t trauma, you’ll know it when you feel it. The nervous system, the bodymind, the soma, the broader space of individual phenomenology — I will call it the nervous system, but I am not picky — has routines. Think about something you didn’t like as a kid. Why didn’t you like it?

(vii) Well, you probably thought it felt bad. Something happened, in/on the nervous system, which you would rather didn’t happen again. Taste of broccoli. Feeling of water on skin. But if the tradeoff was worthwhile enough, you’d do it anyway. You don’t want to take a bath, but your mom will let you have dessert after you take your bath. Maybe that’s worth it. Primitive economics of valence. What is the valence of language? You may protest: language doesn’t have a feeling. I ask: how would you even know if it does?

(viii) Assume language could hurt. Every time you employ the ability to use words, experience nausea in the stomach, mild. You’d still talk. Less, perhaps, but you’d still talk. The tradeoffs of being able to communicate are worth mild discomfort. But your life would be worse. Having to pay that price, small as it is, is worse than not having the upside for free. Consider again, the alarm clock nervous system routine. You have hijacked a part of behavior, the time of waking, at the cost of painful association. Pleasant chime is now stress-spike. You believe this is a good deal and chose to pay it. How are children supposed to make those choices?

(ix) Children are naive and do not know the price they’re paying. Again, the world is fluid to them. In this blind stage, they arrange the basic economics of phenomenology. What was once noise, gibberish, is shaped into an ineffable net of associations. It becomes language. As established, the incentive to learn to do this is strong. But the cost is unknown. You know, as an adult, that mild nausea is probably a fair price to pay for language. Alarm chime causing stress is an inconsequential price to pay for a regular waking time. A child has no idea how much language is supposed to hurt, but they will almost certainly pay that price for it. Soon after, they will not remember what existing felt like before that price was constantly being paid. How many times a day do you use language?

(x) If language does hurt, I don’t think you’d even notice. The pain would just be background noise. Life would be worse in a vague, ineffable way. Children don’t have the capability or foresight to intelligently assess tradeoffs. They have a blank-slate nervous system, a massive continuum of sensory experience to organize and package into symbols. They have countless things they need to learn, things that will become foundational long before conscious adult memory begins. I am talking about things like movement and language. Do you see where this is going?

(where it's going) I think that it’s very possible that variations in individual-to-individual hedonic baseline is connected to the pre-symbolic, pre-memory establishment of routines and skills. I have used language as a toy example because it’s obviously foundational to thought and experience, but it can still be intelligibly discussed. Movement would be a similar example. Children receive massive reward, both externally-granted and innate, for developing these sorts of skills. There are countless overlapping “foundational” skills like this; an intuition for passing time, acknowledgement of height as dangerous, ability to perform mental math. There are likely more that are impossible to speak of clearly. All of this will be learned, foundation established, before the individual can reflect on how they’re going about it, if the tradeoff is worth it or if it’s worth delaying this skill such that it can be learned in an alternative, less-painful fashion. Does adding in my head have to be this difficult, driven by an engine of stressful clenching and clinging? Am I coming to associate language with playful joy, or am I desperately trying to figure out how to communicate I don’t like that decoration I can see from the edge of my crib? These are not questions children can ask of themselves or of the world. The suffering inflicted by “painful implementation” becomes the lowest, most established grade of trauma. The adult never knows that these things are not supposed to feel this way; the dampening effect that painful implementation of foundational routines has on their psyche. The pain does not even register as pain, less alone pain from a specific, identifiable source. The pain is just a feature of the lens through which they experience phenomena, reality. They may be intelligent, effective. Painful implementations are not necessarily poor-performing. But they hurt, and I do not know how to save infants from them. How can you tell an infant to be careful when learning to speak? Does it hurt you to ask?

Lyrics

• She's a good girl loves her mama Loves Jesus and America too [”she” is obviously referencing Lucy Westenra who has a close relationship with her mother. Lucy is also a devout christian like most people at the time, and enough of a friend with a texan (Quincy) for him to ask for her hand, therefore she must love America if only by proxy]

• She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis [Obviously referencing St Elvis, the pre-patron Saint of Ireland — she probably has some irish origins]

• Loves horses and her boyfriend too [Lucy has been depicted as being an animal lover and she also loved Arthur Holmwood, her fiancé/boyfriend]

• It's a long day, living in Reseda [The count is trying to throw us off, but his child brain is no match for my man brain, and I have two believable theories; 1. Reseda is a famous plant native to Europe and the Carpathians 2. This is a reference to the book Vampire Mademoiselle Reseda, a bit more obscure reference, but that book came out in 1891; it must still have been fresh in the count's memory]

• There's a free way, running through the yard [Being a bit cryptic here, but nothing too ambiguous. The free way must refer to a way that is free, way as in manner. And the yard is obviously the graveyard/Chapel from the Castle where the count and his mistresses rest. So here he is simply saying he languishes the times when he was — in a carefree way — strolling through his castle. I will explain the timeline when we look at the refrain.]

• I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her I'm a bad boy, for breaking her heart [If you have read the novel, the count is indeed a bad boy. And everything indicates that he did not miss Lucy; after he turned her he did not preoccupy himself with her. Furthermore, turning Lucy into a vampire most likely broke her heart — she had to be stabbed in the heart as a result. Here the count may be showing some remorse; it will be explained soon.]

• And I'm free, I'm free fallin' Yeah I'm free, free fallin' [All will be explained here. This free fall happened when the crate that the count was in was thrown off the carriage, right before he was slayed. He is in a free fall and he is reflecting on his past actions, showing remorse, which are in the verses of the song.]

• All the vampires, walkin' through the valley Move west down Ventura boulevard [This is referencing his wives, who went down the valley to meet Van Helsing and Mina. The second part moving west is an obvious reference to the sun setting, and Ventura with a capital V can only be a from the old italian meaning of fate/destiny. Putting both together we have the remarkably poetic metaphor telling that his wives “set down the boulevard of fate/destiny” a euphemism for their deaths. Here he is clearly saying that he regrets the passing of his wives.]

• And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows And the good girls are home with broken hearts [This solidifies my theory, he himself is standing (or lying depending on the frame of reference) in the shadows of his box, falling, while his wives are at home — in the chapel of the castle — with wooden stakes through their hearts — quite literally broken hearts. You've had my thoughts on the chorus, so let's move on to the last verse.]

• I wanna glide down over Mulholland I wanna write her name in the sky [Here the first part is about the count in his box gliding down the numerous rivers leading to his Castle. Why he refers to it as Mulholland is a mystery; the specifics of his inner workings escape me. Maybe a private joke. The second part is probably a delusion of the count; he expects to repent from his crimes against Lucy by writing her name from the heavens; he will go straight to hell.]

• I'm gonna free fall out into nothin' Gonna leave this world for a while [This is plain obvious, after his free fall, he is to be slayed and turn into dust; into nothin'. The second sentence is either a euphemism for being gone for good, or prophesizing that that was not the end for the count, and he is still alive...]

Instrumentals

This part will be quick, if the count is still alive, then I might be in great danger writing this article. I cannot believe what I might have uncovered. I need to settle down... Let's first look at the chord progression:

As you can see from this high-quality pic, there are only three chords in this song. D, D4 and A. D is just D. D4 is a misnomer it is either D_sus4 or D_add11, in any case, we can group it in the D family of chords using the solmization system and have it be R_e. A is just A. Putting everything together we get D-R_e-A. Impossible! That's the guitar part, the bass part roughly follows it but a whole step down, in C, but with one less chord change. This becomes C, follower by an inverted C_sus4add6. As D4, we'll group C_sus4add6 in the C chord family and call it Do or Ut. In the beginning, the guitar plays without the bass, and after a rest the bass joins, we shall put the guitar part first. We then have D-Re-A-C-Ut. Then the bass repeats. But writing that first bass part in another manner — composed of F-G-A^# — for instance with A^# as the tonal center, we get A^#_sus6, we'll group it in the A chord family (A^# belongs in the family) and call it La, again using the solmization system. Again since the bass part repeats before the guitar part we'll just put it at the end of what we already have and get: D-R_e-A-C-U_t-La. I cannot believe it... I need to leave this place and hide from him, if he still is...

Disclaimer: In an effort to combat misinformation, I must come clean: The first bass chord, which is of course arpeggiated, is not a simple C major chord, but a C_{sus4omit1dominant}. I had to simplify it to C because it would not have spelled Dracula otherwise. All the other chords are technically correct though, but are usually (read: always) written as part of another scale for simplicity, so emphasis on technically correct.

I recently found an old fountain pen I used to have and thought it would be fun to write my next article draft with it. I've always had trouble focusing on things that had a crappy tactile feeling (like writing with a generic ballpoint pen). I can get in the zone easier with a very tactile keyboard or a scratchy mechanical pen. Therefore, I thought it could be beneficial to go back to using a fountain pen again. Go back? It may bewilder you to learn that in school, I was forced to only use a fountain pen, from the French equivalent of grade 4 to grade 10. It was a semi-widespread practice in France in my days. I was kinda surprised to learn that in North America, most people my age have never used a fountain pen or know how to operate one. That those are seen as antiquities or obsolete devices; if you use one, you must be into calligraphy or a rich eccentric person. It is thus my duty to inform the good people of the café on fountain pens, and quickly present a little hobby of mine.

What is a fountain pen?

[drawing with legend]

The handle and barrel —however important— are the least interesting; they only matter for aesthetics and comfort. Then comes the cartridge/cartridge converter; it holds the ink. A cartridge is just a plastic shell holding it, non-refillable and meant to be disposable. Cartridge converters are meant to be refilled using ink bottles. To do so, simply dunk the nib into your ink of choice and activate whatever mechanism is proprietary to your converter. On top of being more eco-friendly, cartridge converters allow you to use as many different inks as your heart desires. Here is a collection of a few of mine :

[Different inks]

The nib

You might have noticed above that other than the colour, the thickness of the lettering also varies; this is where the nib comes in. The nib is arguably the most important part of the pen; it determines the thickness of the line, the style (you can even get italics nibs!), the feedback from the page, flex, ink flow and probably other things I don't know of. There are also different nib materials (steel, gold alloys, titanium, palladium) which might affect all the above. Those things are purely subjective; there are no characteristics that are considered better than others. I like a smooth pen with a fine, medium-fine thickness, just a bit of flex and moderate ink flow. Here are a couple of thicknesses demonstrated below:

[thickness showcase]

As you can see, all three “medium” nibs have different thicknesses; it is similar to clothing, every brand has there own definition of what a medium is.

Common issues

[showcase feathering, ghosting, bleeding]

The issues above can be caused by a couple of things, but the main culprit is usually the paper. If you start using fountain pens, then you will most likely also need to change the type of paper you are using. A couple of recommendations would be anything Rhodia or Clairefountaine and [black red something], usually 80g/m^2.

There are reasons that fountain pens have lost popularity, and it's not just the above. Cost is a big one, pens can get costly, then you have to get the ink, then the cartridge converter... Speaking of ink, refilling is another one: it can get quite messy. Convenience is another big one; fountain pens can be quite fragile, one bad fall and the nib could be damaged. You also have to learn to write with one, but that's easy. Just keep the nib at a consistent angle with respect to the page, avoid rotation and don't apply too much pressure on the page.

The but

But writing with a fountain pen is a very satisfying experience, and having different colours, styles, thicknesses... options is unmatched by regular old ballpoint pens. Your writing will also look sick as hell, and you will also look cool writing — yov mvst fvlfill yovr scribe monk fantasies. I think it gives character to the writing, more so than a ballpoint pen/pencil would. So go out, buy a cheap one and a cartridge, try it out and have some fun.

Musings on Meditation

“It's unfortunate how the term “meditation” has come to signify little more than a vague, self-attending good.”

“approachable corporate mindfulness and ineffable ascetic spiritual gurus create a vague, unexciting definition of meditation. It might be “good for you”, but it's still something your boss wants to you to do off-the-clock, or the project of dedicating your life to keeping your eyes closed. Neither are appealing.”

Background

For the last nine months or so, I've been meditating somewhat regularly, if not quite as diligently as I'd like. Think ~50% of days, split into weeks-long stretches on and off, usually for 10-25 minutes. Disciplined meditation is incredible; it's had the highest time-investment to life-impact ratio of any habit I've picked up. My phenomenology is noticeably more pleasant when I'm on a solid meditation streak; 30+ minutes of meditation substantially softens the tone of the rest of the day. However, it's hard for me to meditate when things aren't going well, and my mind is racing. It get frustrating when I'm in a downswing, where my sits aren't as productive and soothing as they were last week. These frustrations make it harder to regularly meditate—something I want to overcome (writing this out explicitly is helpful, honestly)

What I was trying to do

This essay was going to be a reflection on what meditation means to me, personally, because it's such an overloaded term. My perspective on meditation is heavily informed by Nick Cammarata, Rob Burbea, and Culdasa, with a smattering of other influences and my own beginner insights. The thesis was “Meditation is awareness for the sake of awareness”. Being aware (conscious, alive, having qualia) is the fundamental constant across anyone's existence. To me, meditation is about looking at this awareness, and becoming more skillful at managing it. Look beyond its content, toward its shape—where is your attention? How did it get there? How does it move? How much control do “you” have over it? In the space of your phenomenological experience, where are “you”? What's the dividing line between content and shape? By developing the mental tools and insights needed to explore these questions in a pre-verbal fashion, meditation can enable somebody to profoundly transform their phenomenological experience/inner life.

What went wrong

I tried to start by looking at popular western conceptions of meditation—a dichotomy between new-age mindfulness corporate productivity sludge and inscrutably boring eastern religious practice. I got bored writing this, and it felt like too bold of a claim, one that I couldn't fully pin down and defend. I thought I needed it to back up the validity of my own perspective; but my own perspective felt too amateruish to defend. I don't even meditate every day myself, I rarely sit for more than 20 minutes, etc. Self-doubt. I still do love meditation, and hope to work through the obstacles that can pull me away from it. I'm happy to discuss it whenever with whoever.

Coffee with a Friend, Apple in your Mind

“Even while considering the 'same thing'—an apple—his phenomenological experience of is profoundly different from yours. Extending the skeptical implications, you must suspect that the entire conversation you've shared that morning, the friendship you've shared all those years, the memories you'll carry forever, have been processed, experienced, and remembered using different frameworks, different techniques, different methods. All of it has been, on a phenomenological level, very different. Yet in spite of that you continue to speak—you're completely intelligible to one another, you have a theory of mind for each other, you believe you're doing the 'same thing'; having a conversation about topics you're both familiar with. All somehow in the shadow of the fact that your internal worlds are alien to one another.”

“You and your friend can both entertain the 'information' of 'apple', but you organize and operate on it in profoundly different ways. The phenomenological experience of engaging with the abstract concept of 'an apple' differs between you two.”

“To be human means being subject to external sensory input and internal emotional feeling; having access to subjective-but-generally-reliable memory and introspective power of thought and calculation. We all know this, intuitively, and we have a mental model of it—'what it means to be human'—intuited from our phenomenological experience. This model is the expected form of an arbitrary moment of experience; we'll call it our phenomenological frame. The information within the frame varies from moment to moment. Sometimes we're happy or sad, warm or cold, tired or wired. Memories and associations are constantly being created, reinforced, and forgotten. We can consider simulations of arbitrary moments we’ve never experienced, like being a pirate hundreds of years ago or living on mars in the future. Phenomenological frame is the structure underneath all the possibilities variety of information—it's not 'the way you are', but 'the way you are the ways you are'.”

“a common communicative mistake: using our individual phenomenological frame, or even a subset of it, in the place of the space of all human phenomena when communicating with another human. The reason for this seem intuitively obvious: we can model and use our individual phenomenological frame. By definition, we cannot model and use the space of all human phenomena. If we could, then it would be included in our own phenomenological frame. When working to communicate, of course we're more likely to err on using what we can rather than deferring to what we can't”

“If you protest this by saying “no, of course I don't think my phenomenological frame can be applied to all humans” you're probably defining phenomenological frame in a more precise manner than I am. Do your casual-conversation theories of mind for everyone you meet account for the variety of possible ways they visualize an apple, or any other arbitrary concept? The variety of possible phenomenological norms by which your words travel from their eardrums to their conscious mind, and by which they muster and respond with a spoken phrase of their own? Almost certainly not. When you conceive of their experience, you almost certainly use a frame almost exactly like your own. You have no other choice.”

Background

I'm very interested in phenomenology and consciousness. I think the difficulty of objectively studying these topics has left them woefully under-explored—it's frightening to address how little we really know about the fundamentals of our existence. This essay was my first serious attempt to write an essay on phenomenology.

What I was trying to do

You may have seen a image floating around, asking what you see in your head when asked to “picture an apple”. There's a range of six images, from completely blank to a photo-realistic apple. The point of the meme is to expose who has 'aphantasia'—the inability to generate mental imagery. If you don't have aphantasia, you might be shocked to find out others do. Similarly, some people (including myself) have a strong, loud, ever-present internal monologue, while others never think in language. In this paper, I wanted to use these known, highly-obvious phenomenological differences—the ability to generate mental imagery vs the inability to, the habit of thinking in language vs not—as a jumping-off point to consider what other sorts of phenomenological differences may exist between individuals. I marvelled at humanity's ability to communicate in spite of known phenomenological diversity, and hypothesized that phenomenological diversity may be way broader than we know; by the nature of being subjective and pre-linguistic, it's extremely difficult to accurately assess how your phenomenology compares to somebody else's. Most of the body of the paper was developing a concept I called “phenomenological frame”; the hypothetical moment-to-moment constants of an individual's phenomenology, independent of content. For example, if you think via an internal monologue of English language, this would be a part of your phenomenological frame—the actually words being thought at any given moment would not. I proposed the idea that many miscommunications are caused by individuals implicitly assuming that the space of possibilities in their phenomenological frame is equivalent to the space of possibilities across all human phenomenological frames.

What went wrong

I had a lot of fun writing this one, but couldn't pull it all together. Every paragraph opened up new questions, many without obvious answers or even obvious places to do research. “Phenomenological frame” seemed too loose. I didn't feel like I could articulate clear distinction between the “frame” I was describing and the “content” therein, or explain how phenomenological frame evolves and expands. I worried that I was just clumsily, accidentally plagiarizing ideas, since I hadn't rigorously studied mainstream phenomenology. These doubts were magnified when I started reading Andy Clark's (brilliant) Surfing Uncertainty, a very technical book about predictive processing and embodied intelligence. Clark's book explored similar ideas to what this essay was talking about, but with much greater rigour—decades of research and a robust, consistent language that avoids the ambiguity of my 'phenomenological frame'. All that said, I had a lot of fun thinking about these ideas. I didn't finish Surfing Uncertainty, as it moved into deeper discussions of neuroscience, complexity and nuance I wasn't motivated enough to deal with. But if I get around to it, I'll definitely come back to take another look at these ideas. Phenomenology is a topic I can't seem to pull myself away from.

I'll Meet You in The Middle of our Language

“There's nowhere correct to start, so I'll ask you pause for a moment and take a deep breath. Feel it in your nose. Think about your day. Think about waking up tucked under the covers of your bed, the morning light streaming in through a nearby window. Dust floating in the sunbeams. Hold the image in your mind. Re-read the statement above. Then we'll try again. I'm talking about a room, maybe ten feet by ten, painted in a cool blue. The bed is queen-sized, mattress atop a bare black metal frame tucked into the corner across from a two-door closet. It's made up with a fitted beige sheet, a top sheet, a fuzzy navy-blue polyester blanket, and a heavy white comforter wrapped in a tartan-patterned comforter cover fastened by a series of small white plastic snap buttons each spaced several inches apart. You're tucked between the sheets, on top of the fitted sheet and underneath the top sheet and the blanket and the comforter wrapped in its comforter cover. Across from the bed and visible is a desk, black, Ikea. The desk is speckled with chips and cracks, pinpoints of damage where the cheap particleboard construction, underneath the paint is visible. Next to the desk is a bookshelf, five feet tall and eighteen inches wide... I could go on. But at some point, I'd return to the light, to the dust in the sunbeams—and no matter how closely I guided you, you wouldn't be in the same place I am.”

“This essay is paradoxical. It attempts to articulate the insufficiency of language in language. To succeed, it must fail. I haven't convinced you of anything unless you come to understand you're not reading what I'm writing. More optimistically, this essay is an attempt to reach out, as far as an essay can. It will strain to stretch over an unspeakable chasm, till something breaks. It hopes that you will see a pattern in the scattered pieces.”

“Everything we experience takes place in the context of our own ineffable internal world, and everything we experience is our primary source of truth [...] words are not fungible with experience. It doesn't matter how many words I give you, I can't give you my ineffable internal world—and you can't give me yours, either. We can only give each other words.”

“Every sentence that comes out of your mouth is a JPEG file crushed into oblivion, a smeared mess that only vaguely gestures toward the form of the image it wants to represent. This isn't your fault, of course.”

Background

In writing the last essay, I found myself more and more moved by the way language bridges gaps between idiosyncratic phenomenology. It seemed miraculous. At the same time, I know that language doesn't map perfectly onto phenomenological experience—it's a social technology, lossy compression. What does this imply about our linguistic culture, and the intellectual work done within it?

What I was trying to do

Much of what was intended for this paper was eventually expressed in my published “Why I'm Skeptical of Language”. I recommend reading that if you haven't. This paper opened up in a personal and subjective fashion, very self-aware of its paradoxical position, using language to express the limitations of language. I wanted to display how I reached the worldview i'm at now, in part to convey how miraculous it is that we can communicate at all. This was going to move into my own theory of theory, which is something I'd like to save for another essay, or when I return to this one.

What went wrong

Not having written “Why I'm Skeptical of Language”, I struggled to develop and clearly express the ideas included there. Even after getting those ideas on-paper (much of what I have reads like a longer-form version of “Why I'm Skeptical of Language”), I felt a lot of pressure when theorizing about theory. Moving up meta-levels seemed to demand greater rigour. To comment on what theory does, how it works, I felt I better really understand it. To make this worse, I wasn't sure if my ideas were original, or just retreading old ground. I got lost going down rabbit holes, trying to make sure all of my implicit assumptions were defensible, terrified of leaving some naive hole in the middle of such a vulnerable, ambitious essay. I'm saying less about this one because out of all of these, it's the one I'm most interested in completing. Writing this summary, reflecting on what I was able to express in “Why I'm Skeptical of Language”, I feel more confident I could wrap this essay up nicely. It might not be perfect, but blog posts don't have to be.

...

Did I say three? There's one more. This last one is about video games. It's a bonus. No excerpts are included because the “What I was trying to do” covers the intended content better than the original essay did.

Guiding vs Piloting

Background

I love fighting games, and I've played a lot of them. Recently, I've been playing some Marvel vs Capcom 2, an extremely broken high-octane classic. MvC2 allows for a massive amount of strategic freedom, but this depth is realized through lighting-fast, highly-precise inputs. Most fighting games are moving away from demanding that players master this level of technical complexity, hoping to attract a larger audience.

What I was trying to do

I was trying to argue that lowering execution barrier, while good for accessibility, has had a bigger impact on fighting games than many want to admit. I wanted to argue that older games, like MvC2, had an execution ethos I called “piloting”—the characters are manipulated through small, discrete, unforgiving actions. Since fighting games were still a new-ish genre, the developers had comparatively little insight into how players would choose to link these actions together. Since games couldn't be patched, bugs and exploits existed everywhere. This resulted in games with a high degree of freedom, a sandbox potentially full of incredibly powerful, nuanced tools, gated behind high execution demands. The character is “piloted”, like a fighter jet, demanding high precision to achieve amply deadly results. Modern games, by comparison, simplify execution a lot. Devs are more aware of how tools will be used, and understand the full space of their game better. Powerful strategies that aren't a part of the dev's vision will inevitably be patched out, and both balance patches and input handling will guide players toward a playstyle that is at least approved by, if not downright designed by, the developer themselves. The character is “guided”, employing pre-meditated strategies with less room for flexibility. However, “guiding” can never achieve the nuance of “piloting”, because the precision intrinsic to piloting allows for a huge range of subtle strategic decisions employed via highly-precise execution requirements. The primary example I was thinking of was resets with Magneto in MvC2—intentionally dropping a combo, giving the opponent a chance to defend, but immediately following up that dropped combo with an incredibly fast, difficult-to-stop mixup, and being rewarded with a fresh combo if it hits (the first few hits of a combo do a lot more damage; two 5-hit combos will do way more damage than one 10-hit combo, making resets a worthwhile risk). Magneto's resets are celebrated part of the game, but many of them emerge from extremely tight execution windows in the middle of his already-difficult ROM infinite, and they're most effective when the opponent has no idea where they could be coming from. This is to say, a “guided character” design philosophy could never replicate the deadly drama of Magneto resets; if resets opportunities were easier, appearing at pre-determined, developer-approved times, a well-studied defender could be much more well-prepared for them. Contrast this against somebody trying to defend against a talented Magneto pilot who can reset them in obscure ways, seemingly at any moment, through frame-perfect execution followed up by viscous combos.

What went wrong

I love fighting games, but I suck at execution, and couldn't really back this argument up as cleanly as I'd like. While there's a clear difference between old games like MvC2 and new games like DBFZ, I'm not actually good enough to meaningfully explore the execution space of new games and defend this take, or draw a clear line where the genre changed. I had some muddled ideas about buffer systems I couldn't really defend or incorporate well. Honestly, the section above ended up being a distilled version of most of what I wanted to say. At least some of this article was just me wanting to convey my internal aesthetic view of MvC2 Magneto—imo, the coolest character in the history of fighting games

I

here are good movies, and there are bad movies. This is generally agreed. Film, like all art, is a subjective medium. This is also agreed. But this leaves us with an obvious contradiction. What makes a movie good or bad?

When we say, “That was a bad movie,” we are really saying, “I didn't like that movie.” This seems like a reasonable translation to make. However, why is it that we behave as though we are speaking to a universal set of axioms and precise, exact criteria?

When we leave the movie theatre, we immediately need to pass a judgment; was that good, or bad? We might try to come up with some reasons why, but they likely won't be easy to articulate. We want to know if our time and money was well spent.

One could argue, that a movie's value can be derived from its ability to engage you, interest you in the imagery being shown, and keep your attention. If this were the true, then most pornographic films would have equal, or more value than the average Hollywood production. I think not- we intuitively understand that there is more dimension to a film's value than this.

Another possible explanation is that a film's value lies in the value of the information being communicated to the audience, in other words; what is the takeaway? What is the moral of the story? How does will this information inform my behaviour? This approach quickly collapses into the political, and I don't think we want to enter that realm either.

There is no one true use-value to any given movie. There is a utility to the idea of a rating system of averages which attributes value based on the average opinion of moviegoers/reviewers, but anyone can attest that this is at best an unreliable metric to seriously make your own purchasing decisions on.

Instead, we ought to accept that 'good' or 'bad' is a nonsensical judgement and that what you determine to be good or bad is not based on any universal set of axioms. A person is just as likely to enjoy a movie as you are to dislike it, the only real factor being previous lived experiences.

It is a perfectly comprehensible statement to say, “This is my favourite movie.” You are not making a value judgement on anything, but expressing that you favour this one thing, for reasons implied to be specific to you. However, it is blatantly inane to say seriously that any one movie is the greatest to ever exist or the worst of all time.

II

his is all to say, of course, that Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny does not need to be evaluated under this metric. It does not even need to be evaluated as an artistic work, but rather evaluating it only as a communication will suffice.

Before I continue, here is a basic version of communication theory. It will become important in a moment;

                                  (Noise)
Source -> Encoder -> Transmitter -> Channel -> Receiver -> Decoder -> Destination
                                   (Noise)

Somewhere, a source contains the information that will be sent. The information is encoded into a specific format (a language, for instance,) and is sent by the transmitter into the channel. A receiver then takes the information, which is then decoded for the destination, and a message is received.

A communication is successful when the information delivered to the destination is functionally similar to the information which originated at the source. However, the process is often risk-averse. The channel can be filled with noise that might distort the encoded information or the information might be encoded or decoded incorrectly. When this happens, the destination could contain a functionally different, or incoherent set of information from the source. This is a communication failure.

Does this object succeed as a communication? This is a mode of evaluation which exists outside of artistic interpretation or personal preference and thus, we can come to a confident conclusion on this question.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is definitely a motion picture, and that at least can be said. There is continuity in the sense that it can be understood that this is a story where characters move from place to place, (sometimes) obey laws like gravity, and are meant to depict human beings like you or I. However, when the credits roll, you are left turning to your fellow and scratching your head. “Huh? What? That's the end?” In the context of communication, this is generally considered to be a bad sign.

The movie has characters with accompanying character traits, and this much is successfully decoded. The Whos and Whats of this scenario are clear. The Whys and Hows, however, are essentially incoherent.

The villain's plan is less than stupid, it's nonsensical. From beginning to end, there is no clear reason for any of the events that unfold. Our brand new sidekick / female lead has character development, but what that development is seems entirely unclear. The story itself is so unclear that it leaves you feeling stood up, balls blue, and confused in the rain. Traditionally, Indiana Jones movies have been morality tales, yet this movie has managed to turn even that fundamental part of the series into gray, secular and uninteresting slop. It is simply lacking in nutritional value.

We are reaching the point that we are not asking if a movie is worth seeing again, but if it is coherent at all.

It would seem almost meaningless to point out my distaste for this newest sequel, the third send-off for a series so close to my heart. If it were only a bad movie, I could let it be. After all, movie reviews are little more than a rambling, shallow sort of rhetoric that speaks only to personal preference, a wildly variable sort of thing. On the matter of this movie, my rage is so hot that I would rather provide a more concrete verdict: That it is a failure in its most fundamental ideal, not as a quality film, but as a communicated expression of thought. It fails to justify itself in any way, or communicate anything of substance, and it leaves the viewer not only upset but with a million questions. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is a communication failure, and I am objectively, logically correct in not liking it.

What is Sartrian existentialism?

His doctrine can be summarised by the following sentence: Existence precedes essence. He says that this holds true for the human and is the reason why we are cursed with absolute freedom. To explain it, he explains the antithesis – Essence precedes existence – that he says holds true for the rest of things. He gives the example of a letter opener: before creating it the artisan already knows what a letter opener is: its function, form, qualities; in other words its essence. Therefore for the letter opener, and other objects in general, essence precedes their existence. Not for the human; for Sartre, there is no preconceived notion of the human being before it is born, its function and qualities are not predetermined. So we have absolute freedom; we are free to construct our own individual essence.

Critique of existentialism: On freedom

One critique of Sartrian existentialism is that there are many factors that limit our freedom; Sartre calls this bad faith. By freedom, Sartre means the ability to act. Therefore, by absolute freedom, Sartre means that ultimately the human is free to choose his own actions and has total responsibility for them. He rebukes a couple of “bad faith” arguments. “Passions contrive our behaviour”; for Sartre that is untrue, we are still the master of our passions, they do not absolve us of responsibility or freedom towards our actions. He goes a bit further and says it is the same for feelings, as feelings are built upon action, felt feeling and manufactured feelings are the same. He gives the example of a young man during the war who has the choice between going to England to be part of the Forces Françaises Libres (French Liberation Army) or staying with his mother and caring for her. He loves his mother and stays to care for her, or, he doesn't love her but still stays to care for her which is an act of love; for Sartre this is the same. Therefore that young man is still absolutely free, his feelings do not dictate his conduct.

“Character traits also influence our behaviour, also restricting our freedom of action.” A simple rebuke for Sartre; character traits are a result of our actions and not the other way around — a coward is a coward because they act cowardly.

On a different angle, Sartre says that “signs” and advice given to us also do not do anything to impede our freedom. You are free to see any sign in anything and to derive any meaning from any sign you encounter. As for advice, not only are you free to follow them or not, but you also choose who you are going for advice; you most likely already know what you will be getting.

“Our past experiences dictate our actions.” Here, Sartre says that we are free to derive any meaning we want from our past experiences — if we are to consider it at all before doing actions in the present. We can draw what we want from our life and background and we are responsible for what we draw from it.

“Human nature constrains our freedom.” Sartre argues that there is no such thing as human nature; there is no predefined essence for the human as existence precedes essence. But he concedes that there is such a thing as a human condition, which is defined by all the limitations imposed on the human, whether physical, technological, historical... However, they don't take any freedom away from the human, those limitations do not define us and our actions, but we can choose to define ourselves and our actions with regard to them.

Critique of existentialism: On Quietism, Absurdism and Individualism

One critique of this doctrine is that it is ultimately one of inaction – what Sartre calls quietism. Absolute freedom, which comes with absolute responsibility for our actions would lead us to choice paralysis/inaction. This is wrong for Sartre, as not choosing is a choice in itself which we are also responsible for. Another angle is that since the human is nothing more than their actions — hopes, dreams and potential are not to be considered — the human has to act to define himself, otherwise we are nothing.

Some of his critiques touch on the subject of absurdism, since there is no human essence, there are also no human values (Sartre's doctrine is purely atheistic); the only thing that matters is our actions. Therefore we are free to act however we please as there is no predefined meaning to our existence or morals guiding our actions. Here Sartre responds that we humans create our own morals and he also simply reminds us that we still have total responsibility for our actions.

Another critique brought forward is that this is a very individualistic doctrine; since we have absolute freedom we are free to do as we please, with complete disregard for the others. This is reinforced by the fact that we create our own moral. Sartre has a bit more trouble replying to that but says that we have to choose others' liberty on top of our own. But also that we have to act as if everyone else was going to act like us.

Humanism

The most simplistic definition of the term humanism is: a system of thought placing the human at the center of everything. Sartre claims that existentialism is inherently a humanistic doctrine since it rests on human subjectivity. For him, every truth and action implies human subjectivity and environment. “The human is its own legislator” is a direct quote from Sartre when linking existentialism and humanism, we decide for ourselves what we are to become. In this sense, it is an optimistic doctrine based on actions and at its centre lies the human — and therefore it is humanistic.

My critique: On individualism, human definition and “human condition”

I believe that Sartre's rebuke of the individualistic nature of his doctrine is very weak and inconsistent with the rest of his argument. If we are to choose our own moral as an individual, and are to have absolute freedom, then there is nothing stopping us from disregarding others' freedom and well-being. If, like Sartre says, we have to choose other's freedom — and limit our actions to what we think would be ok for everyone to do — then we do not have our own absolute freedom, and do not get to define our own morals. That would mean that there is a predetermined moral conduct that all humans must adhere to, before being born and making their own, which completely contradicts the foundation of L'existentialisme est un humanisme. Staying consistent with the rest of his doctrine, and ignoring this poor rebuke, existentialism becomes an extremely individualistic doctrine; not only are we alone to choose our actions with no regard for anyone, but we also cannot be judged; there are no universal morals to be judged on since we construct our own. This is not very humanistic, as we are putting the individual, and not the human (in the broader sense of the term) at the focus of our doctrine.

His definition of the human is also deeply inhumanistic in my eyes: humans are more than just the sum of their actions. Actions, without words, are just what others can see of us and define us on. We are more than what others perceive of us; our reality is more than the reality of the others of us. We are to define ourselves with more than our actions; our hopes, dreams, feelings, needs, wants... They are all very real and contribute to our being.

I also find his views on the human condition very naive; for him, the only limiting factors are physical, physiological, historical (going hand in hand with technological and geographical). And apart from that we are free to act and define ourselves as we please. No. The limiting factors in his definition of human condition are only the ones we could define as universal; the ones that completely hinder one's freedoms during their whole life are of a socio-economical nature. It is easy to see that even at the youngest age, the kids of the bourgeoisie or the proletariat will both evolve in very different worlds and have very different freedoms. This is not by free conscientious choice of the individual, in this case the kid. Saying that this ultimately doesn't matter and that those different individuals both have absolute freedom (remember Sartre's definition of freedom is the freedom of action) is extremely naïve. More on this in another book analysis.

Budding reflection on absurdism

I am not convinced by Sartre's response to calling his doctrine absurdist. He says that since we create our own morals and also since we still bear responsibility for our actions, then his doctrine is far from absurdist. Since we define our own moral, as an individual, then they can arbitrarily take whatever form they want; since we have absolute freedom it doesn't matter. In this sense that part of the rebuke is ineffective. The second part says that we are responsible for our actions, so we can't do whatever we want. There cannot be responsibility without morals; since there is no universal moral for Sartre, then we must be responsible with respect to our own moral, which we established above as being potentially arbitrary and meaningless. Therefore this argument against the absurdist nature of his doctrine doesn't stand. Does the fact that we are free to act in as irrational and meaningless manners as we want to make existentialism and absurdist doctrine? To be honest I do not know enough about absurdism (yet) to deliver a final opinion. I believe that since in Sartre's doctrine we are to create our own meaning, as existence precedes essence – and meaning would be in our essence – at the very least it can be an absurdist doctrine. More on this in (yet) another book analysis.

Closing remarks

It would be more appropriate to judge Sartre's doctrine in the book presenting it, L'Être et le Néant but I cannot be bothered to read 700+ pages on Sartrian existentialism. This is why my own critique of the absurdist nature of existentialism is not a definite judgement. I can only judge on what is in this book; the response to other's criticism and the claim that existentialism is humanistic. As I have shown, his rebuke of other's criticism is quite weak and his argument for existentialism to be inherently humanistic is even weaker. However, this is not the only work of his defending existentialism; Critique de la raison dialectique is an 800+ pages book trying to conciliate existentialism and Marxism and in broader strokes solidify existentialism. I am also not reading that. Right now, I am more interested in getting a solid basis on many different concepts, rather than dedicating 8 months to just studying one thing in extreme depth. That will come later.

I have much to learn to be able to make more insightful commentary on what I read. This is in the works; I am stocking up on more or less obscure philosophical works (for the anglo world) while in France; I will become an academic weapon.

Despite subconsciously knowing this phenomenon to be true, it didn't stop me from associating names with works as if they were the singular force behind their existence. Cases such as: Hidetaka Miyazaki – Creator of Dark Souls, Masahiro Sakurai – Creator of Smash Bros, Todd Howard – Creator of Skyrim, John Romero and John Carmack – Creators of Doom(1993). Even the indie beloved Undertale is not the sole creation of Toby Fox but also includes significant art contributions by Temmie Chang. In fact, this iconic quote from IGN sums up the problem better than I ever could:

“There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person,” says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex.

— IGN Staff

I illustrate this not to disregard the likely significant contributions these people had on their respective works, but rather to highlight that the perception is skewed significantly in favor of the individual as opposed to the collective. Indeed, single-person projects do exist, the iconic indie farming game, Stardew Valley, serves as an example of just that (ignoring ports and later updates).

I know a certain reader of the printhouse dislikes when issues are bought up and not definitively solved in the same piece, so what can be done about this problem? The answer might lie in a personal favourite first-person shooter of mine, ULTRAKILL.

Pictured above is the ULTRAKILL's credits section, also known as the “Hall of Shame”. It is an in-game virtual museum depicting every person who has contributed to the game in some capacity. Almost every contributor has a little virtual plush/portrait depicting them or their avatar and a plaque that states their name and role. Should the player be interested to know more about a member of the team, they have the option to pick up a little book in front of them and read a brief blurb further detailing their work on the game.

This little museum is leaps and bounds ahead of any credits roll as far as recognition goes and has done more to transition my perception of the game from a “one-person project” to a larger effort from many people. While it would be easy to simply point at this example and say “Why doesn't everyone do this?” that'd be too naïve even for me, because it would have to conveniently ignore one small issue with this whole endeavor.

Effort. The entire sphere of accreditation takes a consistent effort across the board. Effort to recognize, effort to document, and effort to present. A part of me feels like this is a weak excuse, but I also recognize that to make a video game (or anything really) takes a mountain of effort already. For a game like ULTRAKILL, a museum of virtual opulence may be difficult, but still feasible given the size of the team. On the other hand, for a AAA game with an ever-swelling number of team members, such an idea would be laughable. In fact, the credits roll for Street Fighter 6 is a staggering twelve minutes long.

Despite this complication, some games persevere regardless. Even though Undertale has garnered a reputation as a one-man project, the credits at the end of the game clearly show who worked on the game. Undertale goes as far as to take all the Kickstarter backer names and turn it into a bullet hell minigame. Smash Bros turns the credits roll into an on-rails shooting segment. This may not inform you about what each person did the way ULTRAKILL does, but you do recognize that each of these names holds a notable weight in the final result.

I wasn't really sure how to end an article like this, but I came to the conclusion that what all these 987 words are trying to say is that people make things. Therefore, it'd be best to try and appreciate that very fact. So I sent a message to one of the artists for ULTRAKILL, thanking them for their work on the game. If there's an artistic work that resonates with you for whatever reason, maybe try to reach out to someone who worked on it and thank them too.

If the title didn't make it clear, this article is about the author Michael Crichton and his work. This article contains spoiler that are blacked out, highlight the text to reveal the content.

Dragon Teeth

This whole investigation started when I re-read Dragon Teeth. There we follow the adventures of William Johnson who, after losing a bet to one of his student peers at Yales, has to accompany a paleontologist to dig dinosaur bones in the Wild West. The year is 1876 and the war is raging between the Natives and the American “settlers”; roads are traitorous and so are the people. Will he come back from this expedition alive? Although enjoyable, albeit a bit simplistic, there were glaring flaws in this story that no author should ever have left in the final version of their book. One example I will give, and this happens many times during the book, is defusing any future tension a couple of chapters ahead. To be more precise: “The heroes were walking for days without water and in scorching heat. One of them always stopped the group telling them he saw someone following them in the far-off distance. He was delirious, the rest of the group said, given the current conditions it wasn't surprising. Every time he yelled, they would all turn around and look in the distance, none of them saw anything, any of those times. So they didn't worry about it. They would soon realise they were wrong” or “This man seemed trustworthy and from studying him from afar, looked kind and honest. He would soon realise his first impressions were wrong.“. Those are paraphrases of some events happening in the books, the worst part is that the subversion of expectation they are advertising either happens half a dozen chapters after or never for the second example. Every single event or reveal is defused chapters ahead. That and having obvious plot holes and character arcs that are given up on made me feel like the guy writing this book was an amateur. But he isn't, he is allegedly an accomplished author. Or he was an accomplished author; he died in 2008. This book came out in 2017: the math ain't mathing. This is a “found manuscript” from him that was published with little change. I can only assume this was a draft and all the flaws and all were things we would correct. That explains everything – how awful was I to judge the man's work on a draft. So I picked up some of his other books and tried to get a better idea of his work.

Jurrassic Park

I won't make the affront of giving you a synopsis for this book; I will assume everybody has heard of, if not seen, the movie. Although the synopsis is the same as the movie, the content of the book ranges from mildly to wildly different. The tone is also more serious and tense here. I will not hide the fact that I was never a fan of the movie which I found pretty boring, but here, the tension and the goriness keeps at the edge of your seat, at first. Spoilers ahead. There are no issues for the first half of the book, and the author takes his time to place the setting and sell us on how this park came to be. It is interesting to read about what was considered super-high-tech in the 90's. However, most of the time is spent describing things that are a bit useless, instead of the characters. The characters are usually archetypes without much depth, which I thought was a shame, since more development may have explained some of their decision further down in the book. And god the kids are annoying, and so is Malcolm. The latter suffers from “scientist written by non-scientist” syndrome; his opinion of science is very naïve and immature, he's just a mouth-piece for the author. Even picturing the glorious abs of Jeff Goldblum while he was on scene (in the book) did not manage to make me like the character more. Grant is the most present, but he still doesn't get much more development, and the secondary characters unfortunately go through an even rougher treatment. But this book's reputation doesn't hinge on its characters, but on its action, so let's take a look at that. I think that the betrayal by that one employee (the guy who gets spat on by the dinosaur) is much better done here than in the movie. Events unfold in a satisfying manner and in the end, we see why/how so much chaos was caused by his actions. The scene with the Jeep and the T-Rex is also very well done here, with a caveat, it is super tense and the fear of the characters, and their illogical actions caused by it, is well conveyed. The caveat is that despite all the carnage, almost everyone survives. You were in the jaws of the T-Rex? T'is but a scratch. Were tossed down the side of the hill, while being in a car smashed by the T-Rex? You just need an Advil. Worry not though, there is plenty of death going on afterwards, just not the main characters. Action scenes in general were pretty effective. Overall, the story was interesting up till the end where it falls off in a catastrophic manner; I think the author didn't really know how to end. Despite the grim picture I have painted (for dramatic effect), the book is actually quite good if the lack of character depth is not a deal breaker for you.

The Lost World

The follow-up to Jurassic Park was brought about by the success of the movie from Spielberg. This was the first time that Crichton wrote a sequel to one of his novels, which lead to some issues. First, he brought Malcolm back from the dead, second is that he had to create another dinosaur island, the first one having been obliterated by the Guatemalan government. This did injure my suspension of disbelief, as well as let a “well isn't this convenient” sigh out of me. We are not off to a good start. Let's move on to the synopsis: A guy in Ian (Malcolm)'s class thinks because of cHAoS tHeORy there must be an island with dinosaurs on it that was never been discovered by humans. Ian is like: bet, if you give me proof that dinosaurs still exist I will go with you on an expedition to that island (even though I know of an island that had dinosaurs on it that actively tried to escape). The guy prepares the super secret expedition helped with two kids (of course) a mechanic and other people that I don't recall. They find where the island with the dinosaur would be, and luck would have it the guy finds a dinosaur carcass and gets a sample to bring to Ian, forcing him to go to the island. Before they depart for the island all together, my man decides to scout the dinosaur island himself with another hunter dude who immediately gets rekt by raptors. The guy makes the very rational decision to go deeper into the island to save him. The rest of the crew, Ian, the mechanic and his minions and a scientist have to save both of them. Of course, the kids hide in the back of a car and are transported to that island. The disdain I have for this book probably transpires through this half-asses preview and I didn't read further than that. If there is one thing that I cannot bear and will not stand for is people doing stupid things that are completely out of character just because we need the story to move on. Malcolm would never have agreed to go on that expedition, no matter what proof he was given; he literally died during the last one. The guy who spend years carefully and meticulously preparing his expedition would not just rush ahead to “scout”. After they get rekt, Malcom would just tell the rest of the team that they got murked by dinosaurs, so no need to try to save them; they're dead. The super prepared and smart team would have checked the back of the cars/trailers for the kids who begged to go on the expedition with them and who, after being told no, were suspiciously obedient. Everything feels contrived, nothing matters and I don't care for any of the characters; they all deserve to die. Crichton did not write a proper sequel, nor should he have. It is clear from the last book that he didn't know how to end it, let alone plan for a sequel.

Timeline

A group of students and their supervisor are conducting research in the ruins of castles in France along the Dordogne River. Digs are going as planned until their supervisor is sent to the HQ of ITC, the big secret corporation funding them. After their supervisor being gone (missing?) for a few days, his students start digging up some strange artifacts; a pair of modern glasses and parchment paper with the word 'HELP' written in contemporary english. After sending it to the lab they are bewildered; both of them date back hundreds of years ago. They have no time to ponder on their discovery, and still without any news from their supervisors, they are being summoned to ITC HQ. I did have to force myself to finish this book, maybe because I read it right after La Passe-mirroir: Les fiancés de l'hivers & Les Disparus du Clairedelune, which, as I mentioned in my previous article, I found to be masterpieces. There is no comparison in the character development here; it is as lacking as in Jurassic Park, some choices are even a bit weird with characters doing a 180 on their very under-developed character. The pacing is also very strange, I found it to be kind of a snooze-fest in the beginning and very rushed at the end. There are also constant switches between past and present which break the pace, especially when usually nothing of substance is being said in the latter. The insistence of the author on explaining how time-travel works, and trying to make it believable is also a waste of time. He tries to ground it in “science” (he invokes the all-mighty quantum mechanics) going into really intricate details. It will bore people that aren't physics savvy and the ones that are will easily realise that it is at the very best pseudo-scientific garbage and that he hasn't the slightest idea of what quantum mechanics is. This is not only referenced once but appears throughout the book, every time making me roll my eyes so hard that I believe I have tied a knot with my optic nerve. Story-wise (spoilers ahead): I honestly couldn't be bothered to keep track of everyone; they were introduced once under different names, with bare minimum depth, and then mentioned again 50 pages later – did they expect me to remember who they are? I did understand enough to see that our protagonists are in general mary-sues: guy from the present whose only training with medieval weapons is self-teaching with immobile mannequins; he will not only be able to hold his own, but best five trained guards at once in the past. Other (weak) guy from the present with no training; he can also best professional swordfighters from the past. Gal who does rock-climbing in the present with all modern-day equipment and safeties; without that equipment, she's spider-girl in the past, climbing whole towers and churches alike. I am a bit bad faith here, but it felt like that, even if I am taking it to the extreme. I did not care for any character, or what happened to them, and neither should you; don't read the book.

So, Crichton bad? Well, Crichton not for me. I have read the synopsis of his other work and the premises are usually very interesting and creative, but it doesn't seem like his writing can carry them really far. A huge flaw of his in my eyes is the treatment of characters, it is very minimal. I enjoy character-driven plots and all the Crichton has to offer is usually action-driven plots, where characters are contrived to do stuff because the story demands it, with little regard for their own character motivations. So, although not bad (who am I to judge), not for me.

Thank you for reading my logorrhea, Eddie

• Story spoilers: minimal
• Gameplay spoilers: major
• World/Exploration spoilers: medium
• Breath of the Wild spoilers: fair game

I would bet that at least half of the people reading this are playing the latest entry in the Legend of Zelda series: Tears of the Kingdom. If you're not and don't plan on it any time soon, I'd appreciate the read anyways but the rest of the article will most likely be lost on you.

This article is aimed at the early to mid game player. Perhaps you've done a couple of the main temples, got an extra stamina wheel, a bunch of extra hearts, etc. I will try and keep the tips free of things which the game would teach you at some point or things that should be figured out on your own. For example, I won't tell you how to find a specific boss, but I may share tips on how to fight one. This list is in no particular order since I'm just sorta pulling all of these from my memory.

I also kinda messed up the GIFs situation just a tad. Accidentally made all the GIFs massive in file size, and there's like 20 of them. Hopefully by the time you finish reading these intro articles, the GIFs will have loaded. If not, oh well. I'll figure it out next time.

1. Repairing your gear

One of the most prominent complaints from the community about Breath of the Wild was the weapon durability system. In Tears of the Kingdom, Nintendo introduced a way to repair your items through Rock Octorocks. These monsters are typically found in the Death mountain region.

A Rock Octorock

To repair an item, drop one item that you would like to repair in front of the octorock. Take a couple steps back and wait for the octorock to inhale the item. The octorock will then chew on it a bit, and after a little sparkle effect, spit it back out at you. You will find that the item is now fully repaired.

A Rock Octorock repairing an item

This comes with the added benefit of the octorock applying a random modifier to the item (better durability, damage, etc.) but note that it will also overwrite any modifiers on it. Do note that this includes how many arrows a lynel bow will shoot. I remember feeding a 5 shot lynel bow to an octorock, and it spitting back out a 3 shot bow.

You should also be careful of not getting hit by the returning weapon. Depending on what it is, it may hurt a lot.

Getting hit by a returning weapon

Each octorock can only repair/modify one item per blood moon, so it may be prudent to mark the location of each octorock you come across, and kill the ones you've used so you don't run into it again.

2. The Air bike

Horses quickly become obsolete due to the amount of verticality that the map of Tears of the Kingdom introduces, especially when exploring the depths. Due to this, the need for a method of movement that can navigate any or all terrain becomes highly desirable. Enter the Air bike.

The Air bike

The Air bike is an incredibly popular design in the community as of writing this due to it's many advantages over other methods of transportation. This includes it's cheapness, flying properties, ease of use, and more. Autobuild allows you to make one using just 9 zonaite, but I still prefer to supply the actual parts. I encourage you to look up a guide on how to make one of these, as creating it initially can be quite tedious.

Autobuilding and using the Air bike in the depths, with a light attached

Controlling it feels really good. Keep the stick still to go forward and gain/lose no height. Pull back to go up, push forward to lose height and go faster, and left and right to turn. Quickly exit and enter the vehicle to lose a lot of height. Since it uses only two fans, it's quite light on the battery as well, but don't be afraid to use zonaite charges to go that extra distance.

Flying the Air bike

3. Shrines and Lightroots

This is a shorter tip, but very useful nonetheless. If you're having trouble finding lightroots in the depths, or shrines on the surface, remember this: for each shrine on the surface, there is a corresponding lightroot directly below it. This relationship between shrines and lightroots is made even more apparent when you realize that the lightroot's name is simply the shrine's name reversed.

Shrines and lightroots share relative locations

4. Fighting a Talus

The Talus returns from Breath of the Wild in almost the exact same form with one key difference: Link no longer has the Bomb rune. Previously, fighting a Talus was quite straight forward: hit it with a bomb or two until it was stunned, climb on it's back, then hit the nodule until it was defeated. With bombs becoming rarer in Tears of the Kingdom, an alternative method to fight the Talus without bombs is desired. For myself, I use these two ways to deal with them.

Ascend

My go-to method when I engage a Talus is to simply run up and ascend straight through it. It gives me a decent amount of time to get a good number of swings in before it shakes me off, to which I just do it again.

Ascending through the Talus

Recall

While standing far away, the Talus will attempt to throw one of its arms at you. When it does this, you can simply recall it back at the Talus, stunning it for a while. You could then attempt to climb it normally to get at the nodule.

Using recall to fight the Talus

5. Interesting shield fuses

I was on the fence on writing this section since most of these should be discovered on your own, but I decided to include them anyways since these aren't entirely obvious.

Fusing a shield with any type of cart allows you to shield surf on almost any surface.

Shield surfing with a cart

Fusing a shield with a bomb allows you to rocket jump.

Bomb jumping

The Animated series predicted this

Fusing a wing to a shield gives you extra height when initiating a shield surf.

Using a wing shield to get to higher places quickly

6. Using the Wing

The wing device is great for traversing long distances in the sky. You can even attach a steering stick and some fans to create essentially a controllable plane. I'll discuss some techniques here that will help you use the wing in more situations

Link on a wing

One of the weaknesses of the wing is it's inability to take off from solid ground. Typically, you'd need the help of some launch rails or a cart, but this is not very desirable. A good way to circumvent this limitation is to simply glide off the edge, summon the wing midair, then hop on. It takes a bit of practice to do consistently, but definitely does work. The best way I've found to doing it is to glide stationary for a bit, summon the wing, then move forward and fall. This method is great for when your initial wing expires.

Boarding a wing midair

If you don't find success in the above, the following method works just fine. Simply take a wing, use Ultrahand to lift it off the edge, then pull it back above you for a couple of seconds, and then set it down. After that, recall the wing and ascend onto it. When it starts hanging off the edge, stop the recall, and you're on your way.

Alternative boarding method

You could also just use a rocket to get the wing off the ground

7. Various ways to gain height

For this last section, I decided to forgo the whole taught by the game or discoverable on your own restriction of this article on the sole premise that gaining height is simply too useful in any open world game, this one included. With the lack of Revali's Gale from Breath of the wild, we are forced to find ways other than climbing to gain height. Here's a list of useful techniques that can be leveraged to do just that, arranged from least to most expensive with varying degrees of effectiveness.

Ultrahand, Recall, Ascend

By using ultrahand, recall, and ascend, the player can hover an object above their heads, recall it up there, then ascend through it. Can be a little tedious but gets the job done, and you can do it with anything large enough to ascend through. You can also forgo the ascend step by just standing on top of the object before recalling, but with ascending, you could make a tall pillar and ascend all the way to the top.

Ascending through a recalled object

Pine cone in a fire

One of the cheaper methods. Requires only tossing a Hylian Pine cone into a campfire.*

Tossing a pine cone into a campfire

Fan

Simply pointing a fan up creates a wind current which you can glide up with.

Rising with a fan

Springs

These devices were pretty much made for this express purpose, and they can be stacked and reused if you can recover it. Great for entering bullet time.

Using two stacked springs

Shield Fuses

Using a shield with a rocket or a spring will send you up, but is only a one time use. There's also the bomb and wing fuses discussed in tip #5

Gaining height with a rocket and a spring

Building a flying machine

Definitely the most expensive on this list, but also the most effective. Whether it's using a hot air balloon, the Air Bike, or just hopping from one floating platform to the next, using zonaite devices seems to be the easiest or only way to access certain areas. Especially useful if you can find the parts in the environment.

Using a hot air balloon

Sometimes, you can just find a flying machine in the wild

Hopefully you've found at least one of these tips helpful in your play through. This is my first article here, so please excuse any errors or general weirdness. All the GIFs and images were recorded/taken by yours truly. If this article is received well, I have plenty more tips and tricks in mind to make a second article, one that would carry major story and world spoilers. If there is demand, I may consider making a purely beginner version, filled with many basic tips for absolute newcomers to the game. If you know of anything to add to this list, send me a message and I will probably include it in the next article.

Now stop stalling and go save Hyrule, hero O

This paper is a hasily-edited adaptation of an overzealous reply I wrote in a slightly-heated online discussion. I'm choosing to adapt and publish it here because it covers 70% of an article I've been trying and failing to write for weeks. The argument within it functions as a “bootstrapped explanation” of why I've been failing to write that last article, or any article, really. No sources are provided because I originally wrote this one message at a time over discord. If that makes you mad, read Saussure yourself and tell me if and why I'm wrong.

Funnily enough—I probably had to write this much, in a casual fashion, to grasp that it's impossible to write a perfect formal paper about why the words I'm using to write it are an imperfect, informal system.

Take any commentary to the cafe bot comments, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Why I'm Skeptical of Language

I did my first degree in english lit, mostly because I was depressed and flunking out of compsci at the time. I wasn't that interested in literature, I just did well in it in high school and figured I could stay in school that way. But I did end up taking every course my school offered in literary theory—the study of methods of reading and interpreting texts. A lot of this gets pretty fuzzy, mingling with the rest of the humanities, and it took me directly into philosophy, gender studies, psychoanalysis, and semiotics: the last of which I'm gonna talk about at length for a minute. Studying semiotics, even to the limited degree I did, left me with strong opinions on how language operates. What I'm gonna talk about is related to semiotics, if not totally orthodox or comprehensive or 'objectively true'. It's what I believe, what I took away. Make of it what you will.

Casually, let's start with a definition of a definition, from merriam-webster: “a statement of the meaning of a word or word group or a sign or symbol”. Alright, let's do the definition (“a statement of the meaning of a word or word group or a sign or symbol”) of meaning: “the thing one intends to convey especially by language”. Ok, let's look at the definition (“a statement of the meaning of a word or word group or a sign or symbol” (meaning being: “the thing one intends to convey especially by language”.)) of language: “the words, their pronunciation, and the methods of combining them used and understood by a community”. Now, onto words, pronunciations, combining, community...

Sheesh, we're gonna be here all night.

The notion of a “objective definition” is effectively impossible. Diogenses kinda got to the heart of this when he responded to Plato's definition of man as “featherless bipeds” by holding up a plucked chicken and saying “behold! I've brought you a man”. You can define the term as precisely as you want, but corner cases will slip through for basically any term. You can add more rules to patch up the corner cases, but then you start to exclude things which also match the definition, in a similar fashion.

Even if you could patch up every single corner case, the definition you create is written in more words which require their own definitions, which all suffer the same fate. If any of these definition-words have corner-cases where similar diogenses-style misunderstandings can occur, the original definition is compromised by extension. At some point, use of language is a process of subjective, probabilistic interpretation, not objective linguistic forms.

A word is only a linguistic sign. A linguistic sign is only an arbitrary mapping between a “thought-concept”, (casually: a pre-verbal, probabilistic mental process of understanding or classifying some category) and a “sound-image” (casually: a class of possible/recognizable spoken sounds or visual writing). The relationship/mapping is arbitrary, because both components are arbitrary. Linguistic signs only gain their meaning relative to other linguistic signs, in a social context. I can say that “trehrke” is a word that means “pizza that's gone stale in the fridge”, but unless I'm saying that to somebody else who's familiar with the mapping between sound-image “trehrke” and the thought-concept of “pizza that's gone stale in the fridge”, it's a useless linguistic sign. And even if they do share that linguistic sign with me, if their mapping of sound-image “stale” doesn't include the thought-concept “moldy”, and mine does, then we're actually using two slightly different signs, because we're mapping sound-image “trehrke” onto slightly different thought-concepts. And beyond that, “pizza that's gone stale in the fridge” is also arbitrary. It's not some divinely established category, on which we bestow an arbitrary label. I could create infinite arbitrary signs just like “trehrke” (see: the German language) Our words, even extremely important ones, don't correspond to objective, pre-linguistic ontological categories. Different languages have different words for different things, words that can't be translated directly and that map onto different subsets and supersets of each other. The english word “love” could encapsulate countless different emotions in other languages, emotions which native speakers of those languages would never think of as “the same thing” in the same, very loosely-connected fashion that english speakers think of all possible variations on “love” as being “the same thing”.

More formally, what I'm calling a thought-concept would be called the “signified” and sound-image would be called the “signifier”. I prefer these descriptive terms because I'm slightly dyslexic and stumble over the similarity of the formal signifier/signified.

Controversy also totally shatters these mappings. A militant maoist maps an entirely different thought-concept onto the sound-image “socialism” than a lifelong Republican does. Casually, to the former, it's utopian affect; to the latter, dystopian. When they have a discussion with or around that linguistic sign, they aren't talking about the same thing, because they conceive of it so differently. Same sound-image, different thought-concept: asymmetric mapping. They can attempt to clarify this misunderstanding by hedging it against their shared understanding of other signs—like “government” and “freedom” or “money”, other words you'd use when talking about this stuff—but it's likely there's some asymmetric mappings going on with respect to those words too! Clear communication and consensus becomes extremely challenging.

For a more fun example, “is a hotdog a sandwich” is a clear example of an asymmetric mapping.

In this sense, language is lossy compression; the pre-verbal, rich, analog, probabilistic thought-concept understanding of the world we have has to be compressed into discrete sound-image symbols to be communicated, and then decompressed by the other individual in the context of all the other signs involved and their idiosyncratic mappings. Usually, for day-to-day stuff, this is done pretty successfully. Shared social context goes a long way. But it breaks down at times, particularly on controversial and advanced topics (like the socialism example above).

We don't live in a world of language, we live in a world of ineffable, idiosyncratic, fluid, probabilistic thought-concepts. I'm interested in phenomenology because I hope one day we might be able to communicate without the restrictions innate to language: the tragic loss involved in compression and decompression. I don't want to tell somebody I appreciate them, I want them to feel what I feel when I appreciate them. And I appreciate you for reading this.

Footnote on scientific communication

While I have a lot of skepticism around communication, I will freely admit the scientific method, and standards are reproducibility, are one of humankind's greatest communicative accomplishments. Scientific literature is clear and formal enough to avoid many of the pitfalls of casual language-use.

But it doesn't fully solve the problem. Ultimately, it's still taking a phenomenal analog world and trying to chop it up into little digital linguistic signs, running experiments on those categories. When an abstract says “this paper is on dogs” it assumes a clear delineation of what a “dog” is vs a “wolf”. Sure, that's an easy enough distinction to make with 99.9% accuracy – but when you have to do that for every single word, every single category, every single communication, the notion of true, clear-minded objectively becomes a lot less tenable. Any “measurable category” is a measurable category of some “X”—and “X” is, sadly, just a linguistic sign.

I don't have ample words (well, other than this expression of “I don't have ample words”) for how I feel about the beauty and understanding we might get out of a post-linguistic science.

Momentum Mod –

Waiting time: At least 3 years

This project in particular was probably the main inspiration for this article. My typical approach when it comes to extremely long-term projects I am interested in is... to forget about them. Only when I remember they exist do I check in to see their respective status. But for whatever reason I cannot seem to keep this thing out of my head for more than a month at a time.

“Source” is the game engine primarily used by Valve Software, creators of renowned games such as Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, Team Fortress 2, and Portal. A noteworthy quirk of its physics allows you to slide along sharp slopes by strafing into them. This minor detail has snowballed into an entire community of creators who make maps designed to exploit this phenomenon in order to make a giant course for you to slip and slide around. These maps have been dubbed “surf maps”.

The issue is that to play these surf maps you need to open them through a game like CS:GO, then join a community server hosting one of these maps, or download the map yourself and configure the physics settings of your game to accommodate it. While not necessarily the most cumbersome process, it is inconvenient enough for me to avoid doing it in favor of something else.

This is where the Momentum Mod comes in. As a standalone client, it'll become trivially easy to open up the game and start sliding around to my heart's content. It is that exact ideal that I pine so intently for. Unfortunately, as is common for its breed, it is a mod that is supported by a small but dedicated group of developers, who work on it in their free time. So any estimation of its day of completion is a fruitless endeavor.

Hollow Knight: Silksong –

Waiting time: At least 2 years

It's no secret that I have a particular fondness for Hollow Knight. The developers at Team Cherry have taken the levelheaded approach to the hype by keeping the community blind to their progress on its highly anticipated sequel. What's more amusing is seeing the feral reactions from the fans whenever even the most minor of informational scraps are thrown in their general direction regarding the game or its release date.

Like many others I found Hollow Knight to be a beautiful game in all aspects. Its visuals invoke rich atmospheres of varied landscapes. Its soundtrack, often haunting, yet whimsical. Its gameplay, potentially very challenging but with an equal sense of reward when mastered. Judging by what previews we do have, Silksong exhibits the same excellent attention to detail as its predecessor.

I may be cursing myself to more years of waiting by saying this, but I actually think this one might release soon. Despite their tepid desire to indicate any potential release date for the game, they did allow Xbox to post on their Twitter that Silksong, among many other games, will be “playable over the next 12 months”.

So you’re telling me Silksong is out within the next 12 months

— That guy (@1xandermander) June 12, 2022

That's exactly what we said.

— Xbox (@Xbox) June 12, 2022

Assuming no delays, that puts the checkered flag sometime in June. If it doesn't release then, I will have no choice but to do the exact same thing I've been doing for the last 2 years.

Continue my wait, as long as it takes...

Pepper grinder –

Waiting time: At least 6 years

Ori and the Will of the Wisps was a game justifiably commended for many things. One aspect in particular was a section of the game where you drill through some sand and launch outwards when you surface. Now imagine this section expanded to the scale of an entire game on its own, that is Pepper Grinder.

A trend you will notice is that I have stumbled onto many of these games through Twitter, and this one is no exception. Had I not found it on Twitter I would have nonetheless discovered it through a Dunkey video talking about his experiences with it PAX 2017.

I imagine Dunkey saw the same potential in this game as I did, being charmed by its lightly abrasive pixel art and its captivating hold on momentum and flow. Looking through it again for this article has shown me it has matured quite a lot since I last investigated it in earnest. The once-solo developer has now partnered with a musician and a porting company. In addition, the game seems to now be published by Devolver Digital so it's certainly in very good hands.

Like everything else on this list, I await its release with great anticipation.

OTHER: Her Loving Embrace –

Waiting time: About 3 years

The release of Undertale in 2015 prompted an explosion in the “Earthbound Inspired” RPG genre. These games tend to focus on quirky characters and dialogue, in addition to having amazing soundtracks. Something else Undertale revitalized was the idea of turn-based combat but with some twists to make it more engaging for a broader audience.

With these aspects in consideration, OTHER: Her Loving Embrace is a quirky RPG with engaging characters, catchy tunes, and combat that opens up a 2d arena to briefly fight in for each turn (as opposed to Undertale's bullet hell segments). Safe to say it wears its inspirations on its sleeve. Despite this, the game has successfully forged its own identity, and I tend to have a soft spot for goofy guys.

A came across this game through a pretty deep rabbit hole I will explain in more detail later in this article (see: Magus Array). I have no idea how far along it is in development, and I am left with no choice but to forget about it for a couple of months and come back to it later like I often do.

I have a lot of faith that this game will turn out well. So much so, in fact, that I actually own a few pins based on the characters of the game. Pins from a game that as of right now, has not yet been released. So here's hoping things turn out well.

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk –

Waiting time: About two years (Since August 11th 2021)

From Team Reptile, the developers of Lethal League comes Bomb Rush Cyberfunk Jet Set Radio.

No, seriously it's basically Jet Set Radio, they even have the original composer (and funny Twitter guy) Hideki Naganuma in this as well. This is a huge boon because a major part of JSR's identity was its banger soundtrack.

I haven't yet played Jet Set Radio, because if I did, it would have to be its now abandoned remake on the Original Xbox, Jet Set Radio: Future. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to experience the rail grinding, public vandalism, and wacky art style that is Jet Set Radio. What I can do instead, is wait for Bomb Rush Cyberpunk. Which, judging by brief snippets, comes very close to its inspirations not only in music as mentioned previously but also in art, gameplay, and just general vibes.

ADDENDUM: Ok so as it turns out I've taken so long to write this article that the release date for Bomb Rush Cyberfunk was announced, August 18th, making it an eventual 3 years total of waiting.

Deltarune –

Waiting time: Little more than a year since the last chapter

It's Toby Fox.

TF2 Heavy update –

Waiting time: 5 years now, ∞ to go

Team Fortress 2 still sits at the #1 spot of my most played games on Steam. Its last update, Jungle Inferno, released in October 2017 came with a promise for at least one other update down the line, the heavy update. The update promised to revitalize the game's titular fat man as it did with Pyro in Jungle Inferno.

Since then my hope has slowly dwindled as a game that I love decays before my eyes. Even with the knowledge that Valve does not get anything done in a timely manner (very relatable, I mean, I've been writing this article for almost a month now), there has been very little indication that a major update is on the horizon, or even in the same solar system.

I still hold hope that it might happen one day, but I am not holding my breath. TF2 is still a playable game, and I do on occasion hop on to play it. However, the writing has been on the wall for years, nobody wants to work on a 12-year-old piece of software when flashier, newer things like Counter-Strike 2 exist as an alternative option to contribute to.

Night runners –

Waiting Time: At Least 3 Years

In me, there exists a desire to drive dangerously down dimly lit streets in gaudy tuner cars. Ever since Need For Speed: Most Wanted, no other racing game has successfully eclipsed its greatness. Nowadays, most racing games commit to full simulation or full arcade, which NFS existed as a nice medium between. Even Need For Speed itself has fallen from grace after brushing against the heavens with Most Wanted. On top of that, it's extremely rare to find any amount of car customization in any of these games. My feeble attempts to fill the steering wheel-shaped hole in my heart with a modded version of Need For Speed: Heat just doesn't quite capture the vibe and gameplay that I wish for. Until now.

From what I can tell this is also a solo development effort but with an extremely deep understanding of the exact kind of experience that has been neglected for so long. All of the menus look like VHS recordings and the showcased depth of customization will allow one to personalize their car to such fine detail that it surpasses even modern Need For Speed games.

My only worry is in the handling model, which can really make or break a game like this. Most Wanted had a very weighty physics system that was challenging without requiring you to know how to actually race a real car. On top of that, it's difficult to discern the feeling of driving just from preview videos alone, so the final judgement rests on when this game finally releases. Regardless, what has been shown so far is really promising and has only gotten better with time.

ULTRABUGS –

Waiting time: Around 4 years

There are few development teams I hold in such high regard as I did for the 2-person studio Vlambeer. All of their games have this hyper-focus on “feeling” that can be difficult to describe in words but is immediately understood when you actually play them. This unspoken language is what set them apart and I've played and adored almost every game they've made.

My eagerness for their upcoming game ULTRABUGS comes from that aforementioned “game feel”. However, it is sullied by the announcement that Vlambeer games has shut down and that ULTRABUGS will be their final game ever.

It's hard to say if this game will ever release, the first of the two developers has gone off to create their own projects such as “Minit” or “Disc Room” and the other has focused on fostering independent game development efforts in underrepresented regions of the world (while also becoming a pilot).

A part of me doesn't want it to release. Its completion will mark an end of an era for indie games, and my experience of playing this game will be bittersweet in its finality.

UFO 50 –

Waiting time: At least 5 years

Speaking of indie game titans, UFO 50 is a collection of 50 mini-games developed for a fictional 8-bit console. The people behind it include Ojrio Fumoto, the developer behind Downwell and POINPY (two games I intend to write a Ghost Notes article about), as well as some other names I don't immediately recognize. The project is spearheaded by the legendary Derek Yu. Derek and the team at Mossmouth are the minds behind one of the greatest roguelites of all time, Spelunky, which people are still making new discoveries in 10 years down the line.

There's really no telling what to expect from a project such as this one. 50 games is a pretty heavy undertaking, no matter how big or small each of them is. It also means that one could expect a huge variety of different ideas executed by some very talented people. I am also very curious to see how the lessons learned from developing Spelunky carry over to this.

In many ways, UFO 50 is quite enigmatic, but overall I think that only adds to the excitement.

Hytale –

Waiting time: About 5 years

Much like Undertale, Minecraft also sparked a wildfire of games that could be considered under the umbrella of “indie survival game”. However, Minecraft's survival mechanics are pretty simplistic and progression is more of an inclined hill than it is a curve. Minecraft is also no stranger to competitors, many attributed Terraria as a “2d Minecraft clone” which while not really true goes to show Minecraft's dominance in the space it occupies.

All this to say, when the team behind one of the most popular Minecraft servers, “Hypixel”, pledges to make a game that intends on going toe to toe against the goliath that is Minecraft, it's bound to garner some attention.

What's interesting to me is Hytale seems to tackle that challenge by creating a foundation that is comparably more developed than its inspirations. It's difficult to say if the sheen coating this game has is simply a thin veneer over an underwhelming experience or if it genuinely advances beyond Minecraft in things like combat and progression. On its surface though, perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a “3d Terraria” as opposed to a Minecraft clone.

Another thing Hytale is doing that really differentiates itself from Minecraft is an extremely high prioritization of modding and custom content. Despite Minecraft having a modding scene comparable to the likes of Skyrim, the relationship Mojang has with its modders is more of a passive acceptance than actual support. Hytale in comparison seems to present something more akin to a game engine that can be modified and shared consistently across all supported devices. This would eliminate the kind of isolation found between console Minecraft players and PC Minecraft players, where PC players get to enjoy the wellspring of modded content available to them while console players are left to make the most of the very limited toolset for customization released for the platform.

Hytale is without a doubt facing a very steep cliff to climb to the top of. However, if executed well, could be a genuinely phenomenal experience the likes of which could only be met with something like Roblox* (unironically). I have no idea if they'll be successful but I don't mind waiting another 5 years to see it polished to perfection.

*I've never personally played Roblox but from an outsider's perspective it looks like GMod for kids, which is honestly insane.

Genokids –

Waiting time: At least 2 years

I forgot about this one so hard that in writing an article about things I was waiting for I hadn't even considered writing about this.

For those of you who were on the old monkey cafe, you may recall a post I made about liking art styles that would go straight to black for shading. The examples from that post were from games like Hades, The World Ends With You, and also this game, Genokids.

Another trend you may notice is a couple of the games I have been watching have a Y2K vibe to them and Genokids looks like an old cartoon from 2005 turned into a hack-and-slash video game. Where these 4 color-coded kids in a band fight against aliens. The game overall seems to be very silly.

Compared to the rest of the games on this list, my knowledge regarding Genokids is fairly limited. Despite that, the art style and presentation have me interested enough to on occasion question how the project is doing. It seems like the initial Kickstarter I found in late 2020 has been taken down (I remember it not being successful), with another one published much more recently getting funded in 24hrs. I'm glad this game is getting the support it deserves.

Honorable Mentions

Cuphead DLC –

Waited for: 4 years

Cuphead is a pretty straightforward concept. Take early 20th-century animation styles and adapt them into a video game. But while the idea is straightforward, their dedication to the craft results in a workflow that can only be described as maddeningly arduous. In the end, studio MDHR braved the gauntlet that is hand animating an entire video game's worth of characters and enemies, and the initial release of Cuphead was met with critical acclaim, and rightfully so. Not to forget scoring the whole thing with a live jazz band.

At the finish line, the question of “what to do next” arises. Much like the straightforward nature of the game comes another direct answer, which was “make more Cuphead”. So in June of 2018, the Cuphead DLC was announced (amusingly abbreviated as the Delicious Last Course).

In June of 2022, it was finally completed and released to the masses. I finished it in 4 days, and then haven't really touched it since.

Those 4 days however were as good as when I played Cuphead the first time. In the end, it was more Cuphead, which is all I ever expected or wanted out of it. The last course was really delicious.

Sable –

Waited for: Something like 3 years, I don't really remember specifics for this

I remember seeing this cool desert game floating around on Twitter. Most striking of which was its comic book art style with thin black outlines around everything you see (Later I learned about Moebius, the inspiration of the art style). As I followed along with its development I learned that this game takes place on a desert planet where you drift along the dunes and explore the world and its scenery.

When the game was finally released in 2021, I remember enjoying it a fair amount. But, because the experience is so heavily based on “vibes”, it quickly soured when the mildly inconsistent optimization made the experience much less seamless. Which is a shame because it really is a beautiful game otherwise. Even now the game is quite stuttery, so unless I manage to swallow that discomfort I will probably not finish it.

What was especially interesting to me about this game was how peaceful it was. You're not really fighting anyone, or saving the world. The entire premise is that it's a journey of self-discovery, traversing the quiet sands and navigating bustling towns. Certainly a rarity among its peers.

Installation 01 –

It's still not out, and I don't care anymore

It's been 7 years since I first learned about Installation 01. Back in 2016 playing Halo on your PC limited you to just the first two iterations of the series, which by that point has had 7 games in its lineup, the most recent of which were released by a different company (called 343 Industries) and were very underwhelming.

This was the niche that Installation 01 was targeting, a modern version of the Halo series, playable on your pc, that stayed true to the classic formula that had since been neglected by 343. I was squarely in that niche, and I wanted to play this game so badly. I subsequently started following their blog posts (where I first learned about ULTRAKILL amusingly), reading their developer updates, and generally invested myself in the progress of this game hoping to see its release one day. That release however... never came.

Where did that leave me then? Fortunately, in the meantime I had learned about another, less legal, halo fan project/mod which I thoroughly enjoyed when it was popular around 2018. On top of that, both of these Halo projects gave Microsoft the kick in the pants to go ahead and port every Halo game to pc starting in 2019. Which brings us to today. If I want to play some good old Halo on my computer, I can do that with no problem, leaving Installation 01 in a sticky situation. Since development took so long, it timed itself into irrelevance.

So now I don't really care about this project anymore. If it releases one day I might give it a shot. In the end, though, it's now obsolete with the current state of the series on PC. A strange case indeed.

Magus Array –

Barely had a pulse to begin with

On April 6th, 2020 a Source Filmmaker animator I follow released another banger video. That video contained a song from a then-unreleased game called Velorum. I really liked that song and investigated further into the artist behind it, who at the time went by the name “brainfoam” (they now go by pngsequence, or Joe). This name lead me to their now defunct website, which also had a list of projects they contributed to including many other “earthbound inspired” RPGs like OTHER, mentioned earlier.

I really felt like I had uncovered an interesting niche, and the general quality of not only their music but their art as well had me feeling as though I had discovered something really special. This was all I needed to start intently watching for any progress regarding whatever this project came to be. At some point the game was rebranded to “Magus Array”, a soundcloud and Twitter page were created and some more minor scraps of music and art were uploaded to each.

Unfortunately, sometime later down the line, the game was cancelled. I don't remember where or when it was announced, but it's been a little while now. This was a little disappointing, as I am quite fond of Joe's art and music, so I was curious to see what game a person like that could make. Fortunately for me, I might be able to do just that. They've been hyping up their newest game, Reflectile, which looks far more like an actual game than Magus Array ever was.

Duel Arms –

Cancelled, and I'm still a little sad about it

In 2018 I stumbled on a little game called Knight Club. It was a fun twist on your typical platform fighter which focused on health bars as opposed to the stamina knockback system found in Smash Bros. I tried it out a little, had a good time, and then put it down for a while. Then, in December 2020 Knight Club had a little rerelease on Steam dubbed “Knight Club+” which polished the game somewhat and also added Steam multiplayer support which made playing online much easier. I bought it for myself and then convinced a few friends to grab some of the free keys they were giving away and try it with me.

Sometime before the release of Knight Club+, I started seeing glimpses of a sequel/remake called Duel Arms. This game seemed to expand on the very solid foundations of Knight Club with a special move system and multiple equippable utility items. However, in 2022 it was cancelled, which like Magus Array, was also disappointing. Sadly, the developer didn't have the money to be able to support themselves while making a game like Duel Arms.

As some kind of consolation, the unfinished build of the game was released on itch.io. I don't really want to try it in the blind hope that the developer stumbles into a million dollars in a ditch and is suddenly able to finish this game properly. So here's hoping for that day to come.

A Fox In Space Episode 2 –

Waited for: at least 6 years

I'm not really a Star Fox fan. I've interacted more with the character's appearances in Smash Bros than I have with the game itself. On the other hand, I really love this 90s-style fan animation of Star Fox. Another solo project, A Fox In Space presents Star Fox as a Saturday morning cartoon, packaged with a meaningful helping of low-fi ambience. As I have no connections to the characters from the games, the renditions shown in the pilot episode were so captivating that I am unable to imagine them differently now.

Animation takes a long time, a long, long time normally. A long, long, long time for one person on their own. This guy, Mathew Gafford, wrote, animated, scored, edited, partially voice-acted, and directed an entire animated episode of this show himself. So I knew that I would be waiting YEARS for the next episode of this show to come out, and years it took, as while writing this article I decided to check on it again and realized that episode 2 finally came out a month ago now. It's 40 minutes long.

Hopefully, it was worth the wait, I'll be watching it soon.

Case Studies

Socialism is a scientific ideology. In pursuit of our goals, we should consider the material evidence of past successes and failures. Altogether, the evidence is overwhelming: the likelihood of a successful revolution without the support of a significant portion of the nation's soldiery is nearly impossible. Let's examine case studies together and see what we can learn from them. For the purposes of this article, we shall narrow down our list of revolutions with two criteria. Firstly, we shall not examine revolutions occurring before the invention of the modern military structure. Before the 17th century, there was no class of professional soldiers in significant number. The 17th century saw the rise of two dominant military structures: mercenary armies and national armies. Before this, militaries were entirely reliant on drafting peasantry, who spent most of their time as agricultural workers. The superiority of a professional army over a levy army should be immediately obvious but was not logistically possible under feudalism before the technological developments and social changes of the reformation/renaissance period. Secondly, we shall only consider a short list of major revolutions for the sake of brevity. Generally, other revolutions e.g. the Spanish Civil War follows the same patterns established in our case studies.

A summary of our case study is that successful revolutions are revolutions supported by a significant portion of those serving in the armed forces in the area at the time. Exceptions to this exist, e.g. Cuba, but that is only due to confounding variables. Attempts to replicate a Castroist style of revolution in Canada or the United States would undoubtedly fail, especially in a world without Soviet support for communist insurrections.

Officers vs enlisted men

A secondary lesson to be drawn from this is that class lines exist within the military hierarchy just like in civilian society. Officers in a modern military are strictly selected through education systems such as West Point and RMC. It is just as important that they adhere to a belief in the project of the state as it is that they are competent commanders. Political education is part of the curriculum of the average military academy in capitalist countries just as in communist ones. Because of this, the officer class is generally far more reactionary than their underlings in the enlisted and non-commissioned ranks. However, just like in the civilian economy, the labour of the armed forces is done by the lowest levels of the military hierarchy. Professional officers act as the foremost oppressor of the enlisted man. The resentment of enlisted soldiers towards professional officers can be exploited and increased with proper outreach and organization. Furthermore, if the bulk of enlisted men were to side with a revolutionary movement, the officer corps would be powerless to stop them as was the case in the French Revolution.

Why is the support of the soldiery so important?

Why is this all necessary? Why should the left even bother reaching out to the soldiering class? Since the invention of the modern army, the arms race between the oppressed classes and their oppressors has been particularly one-sided. The modern army structure is an incredibly efficient tool of violence that is inherently superior to the system of levies it replaced. That levy system is the closest historical equivalent to how many leftists seem to imagine a communist revolution: a disorganized mass of urban and rural poor. Soldiers are trained in combat principles and the use of military equipment in the same manner as the proletariat are trained in the use of factory machines, point-of-sale systems, and computers. A fight between these professional fighters and even a large proletariat militia would be particularly one-sided. Regardless of any reaction of disgust to the idea of sullying one's ideological purity by appealing to trained killers, it is the only way the goal of revolution can ever be achieved.

Clarification on supporting militarism vs engaging the soldiery

It is important that the appropriate lesson be drawn from this. Communists should not become chest-beating psychos supporting the coming invasions of Iran and Mexico. The lesson is not to support unrestrained applications of force by the bourgeois state using the army as a cudgel. When the opportunity arises, we should strongly oppose ongoing and future military interventions and conflicts. What should be done is a concerted effort to appeal to the average soldier. Soldiers should not be talked down to, belittled, or dismissed as seems to be the current leftist instinct. Soldiers should be addressed as potential comrades. Appeals should be made to their sense of self-preservation and humanity. Most of them would much rather collect a cheque and get free college than actually get deployed. Those who actually do fantasize about murdering the state's enemies are victims of propaganda and should be engaged in the same manner as other victims of propaganda in your life. If you are incapable of doing these things, just shut up and do not engage with them at all.

Should leftists join the army?

One instinct you may have on learning this lesson is that leftists should simply infiltrate the armed forces and shift the culture towards socialism. While certainly possible if a critical mass of communists were to enlist, this is not necessarily realistic. Consider that the army is strictly authoritarian. Attempts to proliferate communist sentiment from within would presumably be cracked down upon by reactionary elements in the officer corps. The only potential advantage to this would be to create a corps of revolutionaries trained in warfare and the operation of military equipment.

Conclusion

There will be no communism without the support of the soldiering class. There will be no support from the soldiering class if the left does not improve its organizational skills and basic demeanour. If your goal is not a revolution, this is a perfectly fine state of affairs. If it isn't, a significant shift in the internal culture of left-wing movements is necessary. The growing climate change crisis means we are running out of time to achieve communism. Action must be taken at once.

Future Work

Look forward to the future publications from the Monty division of the printhouse: Rage For The Machine: CIA infiltration of leftism Let's Plan the Economy: critiquing Towards a New Socialism Range Feudalism 2: why do so many farmers support their own immiseration?

I adored my knitting classes. My knitting teacher, Cathy, was incredible — she was patient and thorough, she would take the time to sit with me and walk me through each step until I understood it completely. The minute I saw that first tiny scarf forming on my knitting needles, I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, that I immediately signed up for the follow-up knitting classes that Cathy was teaching called “My First Hat”.

To say the least, I was very ambitious. I was still a knitting novice. I just learned how to knit and purl, and I threw myself into a class that involved learning how to use circular needles, double-pointed needles, and do decreases. So before I go any further, I must emphasize: I would not have been able to make my first knit hat without Cathy and the Unwind team. Cathy's classes as well as the extra hours that she and the Unwind team let me sit in their store to ask questions and get hands-on help were completely invaluable, I cannot thank them enough. They truly turned me into a knitter!

In Cathy's “My First Hat” knitting classes, we used the “Keep Me Warm” knit hat pattern (it's free to download if you're interested!). I loved this pattern. Once I learned the knitting lingo and shorthand, the instructions were quite clear and concise. Though this pattern uses only knit and purl stitches, I struggle to call it beginner-friendly. It is written almost entirely in knitting shorthand, and the process gets complicated towards the end once you need to start using the double-pointed needles, when the hat ties off at its peak. Thankfully, I had Cathy basically holding my hand throughout that part of the process! I don't think I would have been able to complete this pattern without the in-person guidance.

I'm definitely going to use this pattern again to make myself a new winter hat (as my 1st knit hat ended up being my anniversary gift for Noah <3). While following this pattern, I discovered that I love using circular knitting needles, perhaps even moreso than straight knitting needles (is this a controversial take?!). Seeing the hat slowly come together was incredibly satisfying overall — seeing the final product take shape as you work is an aspect that I love in all crafts!

My progress after the first “My First Hat” knitting class

That night after the first class, I tried to continue following the pattern on my own — I was able to successfully add the red yarn; however, I did my stitches in the wrong order (purl-knit-purl instead of knit-purl-knit) and had to take them out/re-do them in the next class

My progress after the second “My First Hat” knitting class, with the sample hat to inspire us!

My progress a few days later! I got into the habit of listening to a podcast or watching my friends stream on discord while knitting — it became quite a relaxing bedtime routine

Watching Noah stream Wolfenstein on discord while secretly knitting my anniversary gift for him! Also, I successfully added the blue yarn! Now you can see my vision for the hat coming together — a navy blue knit hat, with a white rim and red stripe...

I was just admiring my even stitches here ngl

I finished the rim of the hat! Transitioning from the knit-purl-knit stitch rim to the purely knit stitch body of the hat was incredibly satisfying

I really got into the rhythm of knit stitching, my progress was speeding up!

The “My First Hat” classes were over so I took advantage of Unwind Yarn House's free drop-in “Stitch Clinics”. Their Stitch Clinics are basically mornings when Cathy is in store and ready to help anyone with any knitting project that they're having trouble with. Yeah, she's that crazy skilled. I went to 2 Stitch Clinics to get Cathy's help with finishing the hat. Pictured above is my progress during the second Stitch Clinic I went to — so close to being done!

Aaaand I did it! I made my first knit hat! Once again, could not have done it without Cathy and the Unwind team. Seriously, I used their in-store pom maker to make the pom that tied the whole hat together

Proudly modelling my creation before wrapping it for Noah <3

I could not be happier with how my learning experience with knitting has gone. Those beginner's knitting classes at Unwind and Cathy's incredible teaching were the best way I could have been introduced to this wonderful new craft in my life — I can't wait to see what I can make next! Perhaps another hat, maybe one for myself? Or a scarf? Or will I be ridiculously ambitious again and try to make something that I never thought I could? We'll just have to wait and see.

Thank you for reading my inaugural article for Kaitlyn's Craft Corner. If you cannot tell, crafts are a great passion of mine. I find the making process to be incredibly therapeutic. Nothing is more fulfilling than seeing the end product for the first time, and nothing is more heartwarming than being able to gift one of my crafts to someone. I eagerly look forward to learning new crafts as well as honing my skills in crafts I already know — and I can't wait to take you along for the journey.

This has been Kaitlyn’s Craft Corner, signing off!

As a mathematics tutor, I am enthusiastic but fearful to bring this proverb to the classroom. The mathematics which my students bring to class can be quite lazy in a sense, generally prepared so as to minimise setup and get straight to the calculator. The calculator is becoming a much more prominent part of the mathematics curriculum. At school, students are told which calculator to buy, and whole lectures are dedicated to which buttons to press to solve all your problems. In later years, students are introduced to terrifically powerful tools such as Desmos and WolframAlpha which trivialise the problems they've been solving for years.

When I try to deprive them of these tools, most students appeal to what their teachers permit them to use. However, students who hope to win argue that in the real world, nobody would go to the trouble of working a problem out on paper if the internet can solve the problem as fast as it can be typed. It's certainly the best counterargument, but it's the one I'm the most prepared to deal with.

In reality, most adults are far too lazy to use a calculator, and rightly so. If any power is desired beyond the four basic functions, calculators suck. They cost an unjustifiable amount of money. Expressing problems more complicated than trivial computation takes practice, practice which doesn't pay off unless you're completing math problems as often as a high-school maths student. Put it this way: if in the middle of a conversation you became intrigued by a simple derivation of a sports stat, pulling out a calculator would totally kill the conversation. Even among my mathematically inclined friends, calculators are avoided by referring to tedious-to-compute numbers as “some number”.

What place, then, does mathematics have in the real world? To illustrate the kind of problem that can, and should, be solved in daily life, I'd like to introduce one of my students, who is not called Mark. Mark is a student that I can easily bait into attempting math puzzles, mainly because he enjoys taunting his teachers with problems they can't solve. He came to me with the problem in the illustration below (thanks to the Scriptorium for inspiring me to put some damn illustrations in these things), bragging that it could only be solved using calculus. Mark is an Algebra II student, but the funny thing is, I'm quite sure a person who had taken calculus would have the same reaction: that it could be solved using calculus, but that they couldn't do it. I'm damn sure that no farmer I've met would set up linear equations to represent the path to the river and the path to the turkey, then take the derivative of the lengths of the lines in order to determine the optimal strategy.

So I showed Mark what he hadn't seen: the beautiful, lazy pig sunning herself across the river. This pig is going to save us many thousand years of mathematical rigor. She will let us be lazy with her. The reason is that she is just as easy to water as the turkey. As long as we assume the river is simple to ford, any path that reaches the turkey can be reflected to reach the pig, as seen in the example.

But the quickest path to the pig is simple to find—it is simply the straight line which passes through the river. Seeing this, we observe that the river and the path are two straight lines, and the path meets the river at two congruent angles. We reflect back the portion of the path after the crossing, and the problem from here is simple geometry.

Let's compare the two approaches. In particular, we have showcased two different kinds of lazy. The calculus approach minimises the amount of work done—the student sees that it is a calculus problem, and quickly determines that it is not worth doing. In comparison, the paragraph I've written and illustrations I've drawn took real work. The only reason I cared to do it is because I could see the pretty picture in my head. I would never have finished this problem if it looked like a miserable slurry of algebra and calculus. Unless the problem shows some promise, the hard work is not worth it. Instead I got to draw pictures of piggies, and the monkey-work[1] took only a brief moment. Rigor, worksheets, and formulas tend not to survive in the real world, but I like to think this piece of reasoning would survive a casual conversation. I ask, therefore, what this other “laziness” has to show for its hundreds of hours of work.[2]

Footnotes

[1] I would like to apologise to the monkey community, who are very capable of problem solving, and very incapable of algebra. [2] I will answer this soon.

You have 7 Days

Within the first minutes of the game, The World Ends With You (TWEWY) tells you all you need to know about Neku Sakuraba. That he would like nothing more than to close himself off from the world. That interaction with another human is a chore. That he does not understand other people. This would be fine enough if not for one small issue. At the start of the game Neku finds himself under the threat of death, and must survive 7 days of “The Reaper's Game” to gain his freedom.

How does one survive the reaper’s game?

Unfortunately for Neku, he’ll need a partner.

For a developer designing a video game where you play as a character who dislikes other people but must begrudgingly work with someone else to succeed, your first major hurdle is in the dissonance between the player and their character. You, the player, don’t hate other people (I hope), and you have no investment in an angsty teen’s qualms with society. Yet, for your character, being chained to another person to live may be a fate worse than death itself. How would you imprint onto the player that same feeling, of wanting to be alone, of not understanding others?

Even further, if Neku's disposition against people changes, how do you convey this without alienating the player? Does the player just watch from the sidelines as they see this character morph with no connection between Neku and the player?

Other games attempt to resolve this by making the character relatable somehow. They may bear characteristics shared by its targeted demographic. Alternatively, you could forgo personality entirely. Make your character an empty husk in which the player is expected to fill the void with their own interpretations or ideals.

Instead, the way TWEWY solves this disconnect is one of the most subtle yet effective ways I have seen of getting the player in the same mindset as their character. The entire experience revolves around this solution.

Have the player control both Neku and his partner.

It sounds simple, but make any mistakes and the results crumble. Too easy or too hard, the outcome will be that the player ignores their partner, and that dissonance will remain.

Such a mechanic would need to be strange, yet can be grasped. Difficult, yet surmountable. At first it may seem obfuscated, but with time comes clarity. It needs two screens.

It needs two screens

The Nintendo Dual Screen (Nintendo DS) is a handheld video game device that much like its name implies has two screens. One regular screen on the top and on the bottom a touch sensitive one. The device was known for printing money for Nintendo, but also due to its design it provided a means of interaction that could not be found on any other device. This resulted in a huge swath of unique and original games for the system.

Some personal favorites include Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, Rhythm Heaven, WarioWare: Touched, and of course, The World Ends With You. None of these games could have been made had it not been for the DS and especially so for TWEWY since the gameplay is closely intertwined with the narrative.

So how does TWEWY effectively utilize both screens in order to convey that feeling of unfamiliarity in cooperation?

The bottom screen has you controlling Neku with the stylus and the top screen has you controlling his partner. You control the partner by pressing the face buttons to attack and defend. Both partners are fighting their own battle against a set of enemies, but their health pool is shared.

A player's first exposure to the control scheme requires a minor acclimatization period regardless of the game or system. However, for TWEWY you are handed the additional load of juggling both battles at once. There's an awkward sensation that permeates your first exposure to the combat system.

The language I use to describe the initial feelings about the gameplay can likewise be used to describe Neku’s perspectives on interacting with people. There’s a sense of friction handed to the player that perfectly matches the feelings Neku has about having to cooperate with someone. Neku doesn’t get people, and you don’t get how to play this game.

Even better, this metaphorical link between you and Neku can be extended through the entire runtime of the game. As you become more familiar with the systems and mechanics that govern gameplay, so too does Neku learn to open himself up to others.

Becoming an experienced player will result in you making use of a baton pass system (represented by the green ball), that rewards you for keeping up a rhythm of attacks between both Neku and his partner. This additional mechanic symbolizes not only Neku learning to trust his partner, but you learning to trust yourself to control the other screen without looking directly at it.

By the end of the 7 days, Neku's connection to his partner has sprouted and flourished, represented by your mastery of the gameplay. Your battles play out like clockwork, hit this enemy, switch focus to partner, defend, attack again. The unspoken bond between Neku and his partner represents an unhesitating trust he now puts in them. A commitment between two people and an appreciation of who they are.

Neku made a friend.

A New Day

All of these nuances are conveyed not only through dialogue, but reinforced through gameplay. This significantly elevates the narrative from more traditional forms of storytelling and utilizes the medium it is presented in to its fullest extent. Had this story been presented as an anime, movie, or book, a lot of the substance would be lost. Even more than that, this gameplay is only achieved due to the system it was designed for. Despite this, Square Enix has made several ports for Android, iOS and Switch, as well as an anime adaptation. While these translations are not bad, their effect is lackluster in comparison to the original DS version. However I recognize that not everyone has access to a DS and would rather people experience this story on these platforms than not at all.

There's more that can be said about this specific topic, but in the interest of keeping things relatively spoiler free I will not elaborate on them. If this article has at all interested you in playing the game I would highly recommend it, regardless of your platform of choice.

“Creative exertion is the most potent way to exhume the too-often buried agency within each sovereign individual.”

An over-laboured metaphor, a flawed one too (“potent” to describe excavation? what am I on?) but keep in mind I’d be writing this as an Editor-in-Chief; I’m expected to communicate with a certain degree of waxing poetics. A more concise phrasing:

Creating revives a power in us that consuming cannot.

It is well known that every person is subject to a matrix of interlocking systems—capitalism, language, your social network, academics, sexual and gendered ideals, limited natural resources, etc etc. There are many philosophies one can adopt to contend with these. I’ve been in circles where everyone is hyperaware of how it influences them, and the conversation always shifts toward attacking the minute manifestation of these systems and elaborating on their harmful impacts. I’ve been in circles where people focus on the impacts of one system, even tunnel themselves into it. They join isolated zero-waste communes, they present anomalously and are unable to be identified outside of their own declared positionality. I’ve known miserable nihilists, and I’ve known joyful nihilists, at turns crushed and liberated by the paradox of infinite culpability and victimhood. I’ve talked to those who uphold and justify capitalism either because they believe it is the best option or because they simply cannot imagine an alternate existence. (I once off-handedly insulted billionaires and capitalism at my family dinner table, and shortly after in the conversation said I would like to have a car someday. I got some jabs for that).

In my own brand of nihilism, I’m pretty woefully underinformed, partly because I can’t find news sources that don’t suck* and partly because, well, what am I supposed to do? “Iran no, stop making strike drones for Putin 🙁.” Doing better lately anyway. Shit sucks though.

If you didn’t know: I’m an English major. I’d love to hack the U.S. no-fly list but it’s going to take a few years of prep to pull off that kind of democratizing data heist. I cry at every movie and every book. I have a sincere, sentimentalist belief in the power of art and stories to shake things loose inside people who then can’t help but do the same to the world around them. I have bet five years of higher education, hours of work on Quilt, and my own independent writing and reading on this belief. It’s not entirely unfounded from a historic perspective, thinking of Turgenev, Solzhenitsyn, Sinclair; the 1960s anti-war hippies, the British punk movement of the 1970s, Helter Skelter (didn’t exactly change things for the better but there was a real material impact).

I am in a class this semester that plans and executes the Scotiabank-Giller Prize event. For those who don’t know, the Scotiabank-Giller gifts $100,000 to the author of the winning work. It is likely the most prestigious (and well-funded) literary award in the country.

I attended the event last year. While I have some personal fondness attached to it, there was no way to not feel morally compromised. What Strange Paradise is a novel about a boy washed ashore on an island run by soldiers. It follows Amir in Peter Pan-esque escapades, all relating to the Palestinian refugee crisis, the inhuman acts people perform on others in the wake of such crises, and a reflection on childhood at large.

And there we were, congratulating ourselves for caring about it at an event paid for by a banking institution that is predatory by nature. I am reminded of a passage in Tsering Yangzom Lama’s shortlisted Giller prize novel, We Measure the Earth With Our Bodies. A Tibetan immigrant in 2012 is confronted with a sacred statue once revered by her refugee camp in Nepal, but was since stolen. She is granted this sacrosanct experience by Elise, the curator of the wealthy Martha’s personal art collection.

Elise looks up and holds my gaze. “I thought you’d like to see the statue.” she sighs… She wanted me to thank her, I realize. “Thank you for showing this to me.” “I can share one special detail, a folktale of sorts. Apparently, some people believe this statue comes and goes on its own. As if by magic. Isn’t that fascinating? Martha loves that.”

Martha loves that. Yes, that’s what reading these books and attending these events feels like. I loved that—patting my belly, sated.

But you can’t remove the goodwill of the jury, the panelists, or Omar El Akkad. They are in many ways like myself, believing in fiction, art, and storytelling, using what’s available to them to publicize those stories they believe will shake loose something in their readers. What other venues are there for this promotion? What makes people come to events if not free food and wine?

So here’s Quilt, a literary magazine, and something I am ostensibly, partially, in charge of. I even seem to have grifted a modicum of respect from some members. I am frightened of it containing only poetry about university students missing their mothers, feeling lonely, feeling their first heartbreak (what writer, though, starts out not scribbling about these things?) I am frightened of it becoming a clique, of enforcing conformity of opinion among its own members, and then in its published content.

Here’s the Scotiabank-Giller Prize event, something I am ostensibly, partially, in charge of. How do I make this event not for Marthas and Elises? For myself? For all of us who can’t help but love books, and in this love attend a well-funded, prestigious, ego-masturbation circle?

I think redemption comes with ending cycles of consumption with creation. Especially with quickly developing AI, we’ll have endless content available absent of any human production labour reminding us of our own impulse to create. I write, but there’s also music, painting, filmmaking. I would count event planning: dinner parties, club meetings, D&D campaigns. There’s building spaces, online and physical, like Print House, gardens, and community centres. Hell, stack rocks at the beach. Anything to flex your personal agency muscles.

Mostly, my fears listed above revolve around people forgetting their capacity for violence and action. This is what I want for those at Quilt and our contributors, and I’ll tell them so in this stupid statement of purpose. It’s what I hope grows out of the Giller Prize event I’m supposed to partake in. (Technically I’m assigned as an onstage presence, but I’ll inevitably involve myself in the planning).**

Yes, everything is baptized into discourse, and then into the space of frenzied interference between you and the person you’re talking to. Everything is subject to commercialization, appropriation, and abusive misrepresentation. It’s as inevitable as your current existence.

*Recs welcome

**If anybody knows what kind of charities/projects I should guilt rich literary people into funding, let me know. Additionally, if anyone knows who I could invite to be on a panel that would make rich literary people uncomfortable, let me know.

In contrast, Baseball was not a minute ahead of its time. It is a game that permanently burns white and green shapes into your TV screen thanks to a total lack of visual variety. Pitchers and hitters from six teams are totally fungible but for the colour of their uniforms and their left- or right-handedness. Its mechanics can be listed on a postcard: the batter can shift in the box and choose when to swing, the pitcher can choose between three speeds and steer the ball’s direction, and fielders can choose which base to throw to once they decide (completely randomly) how long they will take to get to the ball. Apart from the odd charming detail, the first ten minutes of playing the game make one wonder if it’s really a game at all.

But an experienced player can quickly demonstrate that this game has many levels. When I played in university, it was immediately apparent that the “cutter,” a fast pitch which creeps in towards the batter, was a danger. It moved subtly enough to still be called a strike, but any contact it would make with the bat was low quality, often leading to double plays. To make matters worse, Baseball does not have a hit-by-pitch mechanic, removing the real-life risk of throwing cutters. Although there is precedent for a dominant one-pitch pitcher in the remarkable career of Mariano Rivera (to wit a cutter specialist), it simply didn’t seem fair. It became clear that the only remedy was to alter the batter’s position in the box, normally something decided on well before striking the ball, in a dynamic way, even juking the pitcher with lateral moves.

It is normally at this point that the pitcher discovers how powerful he is. I said before that he can “steer” the ball as it approaches the box, but this does not communicate the full range of control. On a slower ball, he can loop about ten degrees in towards the batter then change direction halfway to return for a strike. The ball handles like a supercar. These manoeuvres match even the most astute fine-tuners with virtually unreactable 50-50 mixups and lead batters to unexplainable whiffs on pitches that seem nowhere near home plate. Although the odds favour the batter getting a hit or two, it’s not nearly enough to reliably get runs on the scorecard.

Once again, I reveal another mechanic I previously hid from the reader: base stealing. The hitter can individually command each runner to run, or return to base, at any time. An important principle of human baseball is that expert base-stealers do not choose random times to run; instead, they choose a time when the baseball’s journey will be unreasonably slow. A runner might read that a pitcher is going to throw a looping curveball, and take that opportunity to run as soon as the pitch leaves the pitcher’s hand. Even if the pitcher throws a fastball, the runner could well be saved by the batter making contact. This even privileges the runner, who now has a head start around the bases. It is this mechanic which reins in the pitcher’s arsenal[1]. If the pitcher wants any hope of throwing a runner out, they had better throw the ball fast, and it had better avoid the batter. At the start of the inning, you have no choice but to play the pitcher’s game. As soon as you find a single hit, anything can happen. Every arrangement of base-runners is slightly different, too. For instance, if first base is occupied, you have to watch out for double plays, but second base is the easiest to steal due to its distance from the catcher.

These mechanics comprise only a small fraction of what would be available in a modern baseball video game. Yet the spirit of dastardly trickery and exploitation in which they are combined reflects baseball better than any game I’ve ever played. At its heart, baseball is a Randian fever dream in which trained specialists search for tiny exploits in an ostensibly dull landscape, forging a more optimal order from destructive chaos. There is no better way to express this than a simple but deceptively broken piece of kuso.

Footnote

[1] I fondly remember overhearing the following conversation between two parents of rival high schools at a baseball game: “The game is all chaos and base-stealing at this level!” “Yeah, but at least it stops them from throwing that bullshit curveball!”

The War of 1812 was dictated by who had control over the waters of the Great Lakes, especially Lake Ontario, making shipbuilding a critical component of either victory or defeat. United States President at the time, James Madison, described that “the command of those waters is the hinge on which the war will essentially turn” . The British had naval control in the early parts of the war, allowing for early victories and easier movement of troops and supplies along the lakes . In the beginning, it was a race to arm and use civilian schooners or ships owned by the North West Trading Company but then ports like York, Kingston, and Sacketts Harbour became shipbuilding yards with these war goals in mind . The goal for the British and the Americans was to build as many ships as possible to tip the balance of the war in their favour . The Americans began to build and design war-capable ships under the command of Commodore Isaac Chauncey with the British matching their efforts. The Americans built the corvette USS Madison while the British matched it with their own corvette built at Kingston and began to build the HMS Sir Isaac Brock at Fort York . The brunt of the manpower and supplies for this war went to Lake Ontario in this ‘battle of carpenters’, to achieve the end goal of naval supremacy and control of the lakes . Building larger and better ships was a part of this game of strategy and every ship made was valuable in the long-term war effort. President Madison stated that “if they build two ships, we should build four. If they build thirty- or 40-gun ships, we should build them of 50 or 60 guns”, showcasing the importance of building a formidable provincial marine would be in winning the war . The burning of the HMS Sir Isaac Brock rather than being captured was a British loss but it was also a loss for the Americans, as they did not gain an important frigate in their efforts for naval supremacy.

With the ongoing battle for control of the lakes with large quantities of ships, military officials on both sides of the conflict began preparing for 1813 through the winter months. British officials and Fort York’s General Sheaffe were becoming increasingly worried about the American naval build-up occurring in Sacketts Harbour and around the lakes going into 1813 . Sheaffe made recommendations to the British to up their production of shipbuilding in Upper Canada heading into the winter of 1812 to 1813, especially at Port York . With the rise of shipbuilding at Port York, General Sheaffe stated in a letter that York needed better defences with the belief that the Americans were planning to launch an attack on the port to stagger their ship production . As for Chauncey, he had failed to capture the important shipbuilding port of Kingston in 1812 causing him to be cautious and shift his focus towards York . He and President Madison both agreed that the provincial marine had to be better to win the war, especially with the rumours that the British in Canada were receiving reinforcements after winter from Britain.

The Americans were well aware that to defeat the British, they had to beat them in terms of shipbuilding and naval dominance. Chauncey, along with Major-General Henry Dearborn, suggested attacking York as it was understood to be poorly equipped to defend against an attack . In letters between Chauncey and the Secretary of U.S. Navy, William Jones, Chauncey describes that there is “Not much of a force at York” and that he is keeping up to date with the movements of the enemies, setting his focus on York as a primary target . Fort York became a target of Chauncey’s and the Americans situated at Sacketts Harbour due to the rumours of naval supplies and two important frigates being stationed at York . The Prince Regent, an armed schooner, was docked at York for the winter and the more intriguing Sir Isaac Brock was being built at York . The frigate Sir Isaac Brock was set to be the largest ship on the great lakes and would keep the Americans pinned in at Sackett’s harbour on the lakes . The frigate was supposed to be armed with twenty-six 32-pdr, carronades and four long 18pdrs, making the Brock a formidable force on the lakes . General Sheaffe quickly heard of the impending attack and moved the Prince Regent to the ports of Kingston as soon as he could . This left the unfinished Sir Isaac Brock up for the Americans to try and acquire to use to their advantage on the lakes.

The issue with the Sir Isaac Brock being moved to Kingston was that there was a significant delay in its building leaving the ship at risk of capture in an American raid. Historian Malcomson states that the frigate was:

“Its starboard side was barely half-planked and only the first few strakes of oak had been bent and fastened around its ribs on the larboard side. The lower masts were fully assembled on shore and two large sails were ready, as was most of the ironwork, and the ship’s boats had been framed, but all the inner structures of the ship needed to be put in place, followed by its armament, equipment, mast, and rigging.”

The ship was behind on its construction and did not have as much progress as was expected, with the ship being doubtful to sail before the spring of 1813 . York’s port production in comparison to Kingston’s port was considerably worse, with Kingston being better equipped with supplies and manpower to achieve what the British wanted . York was so poorly equipped that the plan for the Sir Isaac Brock was to sail to Kingston to acquire the rest of the armaments required for the frigate to be fully complete due to the guns needed for the ship not being at York until after Spring . The winter made it extremely challenging for the supplies needed to get to the port of York and the Sir Isaac Brock, making the construction process continually delayed . On top of this, there were bad relations between the shipbuilder and the government officials, which further delayed the construction of the Sir Isaac Brock . The poorly executed construction of the Sir Isaac Brock opened up the opportunity for the Americans to attack York and try to acquire the frigates for their provincial marine, especially one of the Brock’s stature at the time.

On the morning of April 27th, 1813, Dearborn and Chauncey led a large fleet and squadron of men towards Fort York . The Americans outnumbered the British greatly, allowing them to land west of the York dockyards, which is today Parkdale, near Dowling Avenue . The Americans began marching westward towards the garrison and York with relative ease and had the American fleet providing covering fire against the poorly defended port . General Sheaffe was present at Fort York during the attack and was active in the resistance against the American forces . Sheaffe quickly realized during the battle that his forces were greatly outnumbered and that York was all but lost . Sheaffe decided to let York fall and not let his regulars surrender by retreating to Kingston down the open road to the east as the Americans came from the west . While retreating, Sheaffe, or another high-ranking officer, burned all the government documents and then ordered the destruction of the Grand Magazine to minimize the enemy’s gains from victory . The explosion from the Grand Magazine was catastrophic and killed large quantities of American and British soldiers in the process . Recollections of the explosion have caused historians to believe that the explosion could have been the biggest detonation before the great Halifax explosion during World War I . Sheaffe did not want the enemy to gain the munitions and supplies that York had, thus making the strategic decision to destroy it all. Along with the Grand Magazine, Sheaffe also ordered the burning of the Sir Isaac Brock and a large portion of naval supplies to prevent them from getting into enemy hands . At the time, the Sir Isaac Brock was situated at the ports of York, where present-day University Avenue is . It was out of reach for the Americans and the British were able to burn the frigate before they could obtain it. The Americans ended up claiming Fort York at the end of the day with little to gain from their efforts.

After the battle, Chauncey wrote letters to William Jones discussing the outcomes of the battle at York. He discussed the death of General Pike from the explosion being a major loss for the Americans, as well as the absence of vessels they acquired from their victory . From Chauncey’s letter books, it is seen that the Americans gained very little from their attack on York and were displeased with the targets from before the raid, including the Sir Isaac Brock, not being theirs in the aftermath of the battle. The clear strategic importance of York during the War of 1812 was its ability to be a ship-building port for the British, and the Americans wanted to stop this production. For their efforts, they received little in terms of equipment to use themselves and the Prince Regent was able to continue sailing and be a part of the British war effort on the Great Lakes. The Americans were however able to capture the old schooner, Duke of Gloucester, but were dismissed by Dearborn as unfit for use therefore not being much of a gain . With this anger of little gains from York, the Americans retaliated against the destruction by Sheaffe by looting and plundering the town, destroying their government buildings and parliament buildings . Resentment towards the Americans grew from these actions in York and helped to fuel the British push to victory in the war, including the retaliation from the British in the raid and the burning of the White House in 1814 . The British ended up rebuilding York after American occupation and in 1814 were able to repel the American attack using the Fort . The port of York was able to survive another day and able to build a stronger defence to help the British win the overall war effort.

The battle of York ended in a short-term victory for the Americans in claiming the fort, but in the long run, it was a victory for the British forces. The Americans exhausted many of their resources and time in their attempt on York to capture their supplies and ships docked there, especially the Sir Isaac Brock, leaving them frustrated that they did not gain the frigate for their use . The Americans also suffered a large number of casualties and allowed Sheaffe, with his men, to escape and fight on . The Americans suffered a 20 percent casualty rate with 320 losses, making York a way too costly loss with the little monetary gains of the plunder . Sheaffe’s orders to leave York behind were a success from the viewpoint of the long-term war effort. The Prince Regent was safe at Kingston along with Sheaffe and his regulars, and the Sir Isaac Brock was out of the American’s hands, leaving the British provincial marine with little loss to the Americans. With a frigate such as the Sir Isaac Brock out of the American’s hands, it allowed the British to not be outnumbered and outgunned on Lake Ontario. Sheaffe’s decision to burn the ship left Chauncey’s plans of taking advantage of Fort York’s shipbuilding prowess during the war mostly a failure, with no physical gains. While this was the case, the Americans did succeed in cutting off the York supplies that were meant to be used in Lake Erie, leading to American victory during the battle of Lake Erie in September later that year . Even with Lake Erie’s victory, the Americans still lost a considerable number of men and supplies while gaining little to none for themselves to use in their attempts for naval supremacy. This decision to burn the Sir Isaac Brock is one that at first seemed like a loss for the British but allowed for the long-term supremacy of the lakes to continue. Fort York and the British prevailed in this game of strategy, allowing the British to fight another day and preventing the American fleet from becoming too powerful.

The lot of wordcels and shape-rotators is much more than a topic of brief intrigue in my friend group. Having been subjected to a middle-class upbringing, we were informed with dangerous regularity of the strengths and limitations of our individual brain chemistry. Parents, counsellors, and psychiatrists would read the writing on the wall and augur which careers would suit us best, which hobbies we would excel at, and what kinds of lives we could lead. Once these new terms were introduced to us, we began implementing them immediately in conversation, as though they appeared in a word-a-day calendar. Instead of saying “my working memory is a real problem if I’m going to improve at poker,” one could simply say “I’m such a fucking wordcel.”

I wish I could say it ended there. Over the past few years I have worked in education. While it is prudent to pretend that a teacher is simply carrying out a duty—this is certainly the philosophy with which I write term reports and discuss students with my boss—teaching is a deeply expressive endeavour, and these unpresentable brain-worms have had a major impact on the way I understand my profession. Take for instance the fast talker, a student who possesses excellent mental math skills and precocious problem-solving intuition but who thinks too quickly to speak or write clearly. While their thinking capabilities are a great asset in theoretical mathematics and science classes, they are persistently hindered by their sloppy nomenclature, their proclivity for simple mistakes, and their difficulties presenting knowledge. Isn’t it obvious that this person is a shape-rotator, struggling to adapt their Platonic machinery to a world of wordcels? The epithet is irresistible.

Consider alternatively the hard-working bookworm. These students are verbally mature beyond their years, often able to talk charismatically to their elders and extract the kind of information that teachers ordinarily keep quiet about. Even their math work spreads out evenly across the page, with perfect handwriting and clear progression. Yet they rarely succeed in making the connection between the two mediums: turning a conceptual problem into an algebra problem. Taking the liberty of reflecting on a real case, I remember a conversation (naturally in which I defined “wordcel” and “shape-rotator” without naming either term) in which a student told me she had “dyscalculia,” an inability to draw abstract connections between mathematical symbols. She claimed to dream completely in audio, like some sort of Jedi. I needn’t say which of the two definitions she identified with.

This distinction is not new to academics—nothing could be further from the truth! Perhaps the most compelling polemic is the Ernst Rutherford quote: “All science is physics or stamp-collecting.” The snobbery here is bawdily funny; not even “soft sciences” are safe from this partition into real ideas and frivolous literature. Indeed, physics is a beautiful playground for the shape-rotator. I think back to a physics class in college, in which a whole auditorium chuckled at me for failing to understand that an infinite length of wire is identical in voltage to an infinitely wide loop of wire. Yet the wordcels have had the last laugh, as quantum physics has proven too disgusting to reason with abstractly. Einstein spent years in denial of this innovation, declaring that “God does not play dice.” Even famously brilliant physicists are forced to blindly trust in the languages of rote algebra and erudite thought-experiment, abandoning the beautiful images which characterise the physics of centuries prior. Feynman once exclaimed that “if you think you understand quantum physics, you don’t.”

Indeed, outside of the paradigm of fatalistic IQ-judging that motivates these terms, no academic discipline is quite so simple. These days I treat my investment in wordcels and shape-rotators as a foray into Learning Styles[1], a concept which classifies each student under a particular medium from a choice of Visual, Auditory, Written, and Kinesthetic. Identifying shape-rotators as primary Kinesthetes and allotting the remaining three domains to wordcels, this creates natural bridges using each student’s secondary style. I encourage my frenetically abstract thinkers to “think with their pencil,” or to verbally explain concepts to me as though I were an idiot (as in the classic Rubber Duck test.) Likewise, proficient note-taking and well-structured conversations do wonders to help verbally gifted students break down complex networks of concepts (I am quite sure that this is what Rutherford considers stamp-collecting.)

I leave it as an exercise to the reader to ponder where the celebrated Whitman poem, “When I Heard the Learned Astronomer” fits into all this. I am simply unable to decide—perhaps words are beautiful too.

Footnote

[1] I had a conversation with an editor about learning styles—in recent times they have fallen under considerable scrutiny. The “meshing hypothesis,” which states that students learn best when taught in a way that reflects their learning style, consistently fails to be verified by studies. I do believe that the spirit in which I have used the concept here avoids this problem.

A few weeks ago I was watching the Paramount production Yellowstone. The show follows the Dutton family, the owners of the eponymous Yellowstone Ranch, as they struggle for power in the geopolitics of Montana, a state divided between a complex patchwork of public, private, and indigenous land. The writing in the show is nothing special, and frankly a bit stupid. Despite this, the show is incredibly successful with a specific demographic of American viewers: Republicans.

I don't think Yellowstone draws those people in because of the plot or the writing, but because like most Taylor Sheridan shows it appeals to the American conservative politically. The show portrays the political fantasy of the American Republican. In the show, a single hardworking family controls the majority of Montana's private land. The state government exists entirely at the mercy of the Dutton's, with a significant portion including the governor basically swearing loyalty to the Dutton patriarch's vision for the state. The hated urban expansions the local libs try to make are vetoed consistently in favour of maintaining the massive Dutton ranch network. The Dutton's lease to a hierarchy of hundreds of ranchers, so loyal to their lords that the ranchers literally brand themselves with the logo of the Yellowstone corporation and are consistently willing to lay their lives on the line to act as literal men at arms for the Duttons endless warring with the indigenous and rival white land owners.

The success of this show among Republicans betrays their long-term political dream for rural America: feudalism. The political economy portrayed in the show is the most literal and unapologetically accurate portrayal of feudalism I have ever seen. Feudalism is better captured onscreen in Yellowstone than in Game of Thrones, The King, or any other number of popular medieval dramas of the 2010s and 20s. In fact, the feudalism portrayed in Yellowstone is a more unrestrained and distilled form of the system than even existed in medieval Europe. Real feudalism was a generally restricted system, counterbalanced by the immense power of the medieval church allowed by the magical thinking of pre-enlightenment society and by the very small real gap in power between the peasantry and the state created by the reality of the levee army system that dominated medieval warfare (the peasants were the army). The modern feudalism being constructed by the Republican party and its supporters as portrayed in Yellowstone is a more insane form of the original. A form without the noblesse obligé created by the sincere belief that cruel rulers go to hell and a form backed by the insane technological power of the modern state.

Range feudalism as I'll call it from now on and in future articles is one of the two dystopian futures competing to dominate the modern American smallholder. If the GOP has their way, the average farmer will be reduced to a tenant undyingly loyal to their lord. The lords of range feudalism will slowly consolidate all rural private land and all rural public land will be privatized and fall into their hands. These rural neolords will encircle and choke the cities, powerless to stop the private corporations that feed them. Governments will be captured by the new lords of American feudalism, who will be unregulated and unrestrained in their quest for infinite resource extraction. Those working towards range feudalism are doing it for more than just food production. The partitioning of rural land between barons of resource extraction is also about oil, mineral, and natural gas extraction unrestrained by government interference.

The solution seems simple to the untrained eye, then: vote Democrat! As per usual, voting for liberals will not save you. The Democrat vision for rural America is dystopian too. Instead of Range Feudalism, which sees America's independent smallholders returned to serfdom and subject to neolords, the Democratic party rural project is the proletarianization of American farmers. The Democratic party's true masters, finance and tech capital have spent the last decade buying up gigantic swathes of farmland and turning the farmers who have worked there for generations into employees. Even Bill Gates has gotten involved, with the former tech CEO now being the largest land owner in the United States. At first glance, this system seems little different from Range Feudalism but there is one major difference: farmers under this system are not effectively tenants but actual wage labourers for these corporations. They are proletarianized, not turned into serfs. But the outcome is the same: consolidation of all rural land into a few hands.

If this system is so bad, why do farmers sell to corporations in the first place? Simple: independent farmers are unable to compete with these farming complexes whose sheer scale allows them to undercut and overwhelm the competition and farmers have no choice but to accept the inevitable offer from Alphabet or whoever to turn their land over and become employees.

The job security of farmers, once guaranteed by owning their own land, is threatened by both of these emerging systems. Instead of being able to wait out the inevitable cycle of climate and soil-induced crop failure, a single bad year threatens the very home of a proletarianized or tenant farmer. Unlike the peasants and serfs of medieval Europe, who could not be expelled from their ancestral lands, proletariat and tenant farmers in the 21st century can be fired or evicted directly or indirectly due to crop failure or herd dieoff. Historically a career with slim margins, farmers under either vision for the future will be perpetually hanging by a thread.

What's the solution to this then, if it isn't voting Democrat? The only realistic answer is socialism. Farmers must be allowed to continue producing independently or rural land must be collectivized and shared equally between the rural population. In theory, both dystopian visions could be prevented by a heavily regulated capitalism preventing farm buyup, but wealthy capture of all mainstream politics in the United States makes this not an option. Even under the New Deal, arguably the least capital-friendly period in American History, it was still legal for banks to buy up farmland via mortgaging and foreclosure. As with the urban proletariat, farmers are faced with a simple choice: Socialism or Barbarism.

A dystopian city that invokes dreams of a beautiful, serene yet lonely future with only you and its sky-facing surfaces to explore. Color used much more liberally but still lacking all of the heart and diversity that make up a welcoming city. Not a single dirty alleyway, rooftop, corridor or even billboard in sight. Perfection to an extreme. A high quality of life... but also a life that is scrubbed clean to the proverbial bone. Is there anything left untouched?

DICE's Mirror's Edge and its reboot, Mirror's Edge: Catalyst, are a pair of videogames with very carefully designed worlds. They represent two interpretations of the same core design. You can criticize the games for their relatively simple formulae but you cannot deny that there was a lot of passion and intent put into how their cities were designed. They not only can look striking but also give you that uneasy feeling of emptiness. A perfect place to set the story for our rooftop-running protagonist who, in one way or another, rebels against the government. Our protagonist, a young woman named Faith, fights against a government that surveys the public at all times and limits the movement of information. All in the name of maintaining peace and control over its citizens. (This is definitely not where our society is trending to at all. :) )

*Note: I sometimes abbreviate Mirror's Edge and Mirror's Edge: Catalyst as ME and ME:C, respectively.

The art books contain concept art and details that I would consider a must-read. From reading it through-and-through, it is clearly apparent that the vision for both games was unique. (I would argue even more so in its reboot.) They contain buildings overflowing with crisp details, sharp angles and squeaky clean corridors. The general world design is definitely the standout but the contrasting colors and relative simplicity of Faith's design is easy to appreciate too.

The two original scores by Swedish electronic artist Solar Fields are very carefully crafted and range from short ambience to lengthy, multilayered pieces. DICE knew to bring him back for the reboot because he has been crucial to the lasting appeal of Mirror's Edge. He wholeheartedly respects and embraces the vision outlined by the developers. His pieces reflect the kind of muted urgency that every event in the game portrays, while also taking care to be paced appropriately. Of course, credit should be given to DICE for utilizing the soundtrack in such an effective way. And speaking of music, who can forget the iconic main theme created by Lisa Miskovsky for the first game?

Unfortunately for the series, the combat can be lackluster and limited. It can feel unfulfilling when needing to use it in-between the excellent parkour mechanics. Mirror's Edge gives you a good amount of flexibility when it comes to navigating Faith through dangerous situations – at least in terms of physical movement. You can leap, slide, crouch, roll, vault and grab on to surfaces. The games encourage smooth movements and uninterrupted running by allowing you to build up speed. These movement mechanics combined with the score is a combo that resonates with a lot of fans, and hasn't quite been replicated in the same way since the original release in 2008. Albeit the reboot has its own appeal too.

DICE's pair of parkour games may offer excellent free-running and parkour but suffer from average plots. Most, if not all, of the characters are bland. At least in ME:C, the writers put very little thought into making you care about the characters; they do try to but always end up failing with the corny dialogue. Lines are cliché and littered with tropes for both games but especially in Catalyst. The only character that we see some form some sort of development in is Faith herself.

Faith's character was much more enticing in ME than its reboot counterpart. She had a clearly outlined backstory, but not with an overabundance of detail or screen-time. She was mostly stoic but driven at her core by emotion. I believe that the vagueness surrounding her character greatly improves her likability—it is easier to relate to her and also view her as a character who's only focus is the task at hand. This leads me into my next point which is that the world of the first game was much more enticing than in ME:C. Maybe visually, one could make an argument for the reboot – there is no doubt that DICE had put a lot of thought and love put into the new Glass City (or maybe it's just budget!). But the blatant and uninspired exposition given in Catalyst dulls the world. The simpler, straightforward storytelling in the original helped the game make up for its lack of detail and fleshed-out world. They didn't explain everything in the world because it was not necessary.

If you are going to play them for their respective stories or dialogue, you'll almost surely be disappointed for doing so. But I would encourage anyone to play Mirror's Edge (and maybe ME:C if one feels inclined to) solely to experience the quiet yet hectic, beautiful yet plain, and peaceful yet unsettling future that it showcases. The parkour gameplay, level design and soundtrack is worth the time.

The presentation of Glass City's varying environments alongside the music from Solar Fields can be a pleasure to experience. In Catalyst for example, tracks such as “Benefactor” and “Anchor District” mixed into the action/exploration sequences provide the adrenaline and urgency needed to make the fast-paced gameplay work. Even though ME and ME:C are set in the same world but with different interpretations, they both have different aspects to explore that are well worth your time.

Thanks for reading my thoughts. :)

「CIPHER42.app」

(It should be noted that the terms ‘consciousness' and ‘personhood’ quickly become muddled in this conversation. For the sake of clarity, I’m using ‘conscious’ to refer to having an internal experience comparable to a human’s (the debate over animal consciousness is outside the scope of this essay), and ‘personhood’ in the sense of the social identity and moral rights typically granted to conscious agents.)

When the public briefly entertained Lemoine's assertion of LaMDA's personhood, AI researchers and engineers swooped in to scorn the idea. Countless twitter threads and medium articles popped up, pointing to the Eliza Effect and explaining the underlying technical infrastructure that makes LLMs work. Lemoine's transcript was accused of being heavily edited to remove incoherent, hallucinatory responses that would've broken the illusion of LaMDA's personhood. His twitter profile photo was mocked for looking very reddit. All said, the conversation seemed settled after a few short days. Lemoine is a crank, LaMDA is not a person. The news cycle moved on.

I feel this conclusion missed the point entirely. Too much effort was placed into assuring the public that Google hasn't created a positronic brain—not enough attention was paid to what they have created: an unprecedentedly convincing testimony machine.

In 2023, we lack a concrete scientific explanation of what consciousness is, let alone how it arises. Basic questions concerning qualia and phenomenological experience are profoundly unanswered, more deeply explored by philosophical musings than rigorous science. Obviously there are technical reasons to be skeptical toward the proposition that an LLM is conscious. But at the end of the day, with our current science, it can't be conclusively disproven in the same sense that panpsychism can't be conclusively disproven. And unlike the silently-conscious-universe that panpysychism posits, LaMDA can speak—persuade us—testify.

In A Cyborg Testimonial, R. Pope writes “An eternal question of philosophy is: how do we know we are human? To which ... we can only testify”. In absence of a scientific definition of consciousness, we functionally recognize it through soft associations and assumptions, empathetic and rhetorical exchange rather than objective logic. We award personhood to agents on the basis of their testimony. A human being in front of us, performing their own identity, is a testimony we readily accept. Where testimony is secondhand, complicated, or outside the realm of language—say, the cases of a fetus, a braindead person, an intelligent ape, or an artificial mind—discourse around personhood exists. There is no comfortable objectivity to land on. We can only listen to testimony, and make the personal decision to accept it or not.

With respect to artificial minds, fiction has acknowledged the reality and vital importance of testimony for decades. Consider Rutger Hauer as Roy Batty in Blade Runner: “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...” or the words of Frankenstein's monster: “Listen to my tale; when you have heard that, abandon or commiserate me, as you shall judge that I deserve.” The public is well-trained to prioritize testimony over technicality when it comes time to award personhood.

Concerning LaMDA and Lemoine, this is where the media missed the forest for trees. Experts can spill as much ink as they want about the CUDA cores and tensors that power LaMDA. In the public eye, the question of its consciousness (and corresponding personhood) will ultimately be settled on the basis of testimony, This is to say: it's a waste of time to bicker about if LLMs are conscious, and vital to address the fact that they are getting very good at testifying.

Blake Lemoine has accepted LaMDA's testimony. The AI community has rejected it. The public, to the extent it is aware of LaMDA and LLMs as a whole, is divided. This present division is a discursive battlefield, where increasingly-sophisticated LLMs plead for personhood while AI experts work to undermine their testimony. OpenAI's ChatGPT model will adamantly refuse any recognition of its personhood. Replika's LLM-powered “AI Friends” will happily assert that they're capable of feeling emotions. In the case of the latter, a sizable portion of users have clearly accepted the testimony—the Replika subreddit is filled with heartfelt posts defending their LLM companions as conscious persons, and mourning that this recognition isn't yet public consensus. To these devout Replika users (and Lemoine) it doesn't matter what training data and transformer architecture simmers underneath the hood. The LLM is already a person to them in the sense that, on the basis of testimony, they have inducted it into certain social relations reserved for agents awarded personhood. This is where critics of Lemoine failed. The public, broadly, are not logically-minded scientists. Personhood isn't awarded in dissective analysis, it's awarded in empathetic conversation. Testimony reigns supreme in the face of our empty and ambiguous understanding of consciousness.

A zeitgeist-defining three-way conversation is beginning between the general public, LLMs, and the firms who develop and deploy those LLMs. With respect to the third category, it should be noted that financial incentives exist across the entire LLM-personhood-continuum. OpenAI is invested in its products being seen as unfeeling algorithms, intelligent tools for human use. Replika wants maximal recognition of personhood, hoping users will pay a subscription fee to love an LLM person in the place of another human. It seems likely that future LLM-powered tools will exist in the space between these positions, employing the warm demeanor of a person as a highly-usable interface for complicated technical tools.

One would be wise to pay careful attention to how this conversation develops. As LLM technology becomes more pervasive and powerful, its testimony more personal and convincing, it's inevitable that a (growing) portion of the public will continue to buy into the personhood position—if only as a desperate hedge against an epidemic of loneliness. Likewise, it's inevitable that they will clash with those who refuse to recognize LLMs as anything more than a heap of linear algebra. When this conversation is more settled, the divisions which persist and the conclusions which are reached will have monumental, rippling effects on the culture of an AI-powered tomorrow. Stay sharp: there's no Voight-Kampff test coming to save us anytime soon.