April

This month I read 4 books and 4 ebooks from the Toronto Public Library, totalling to 8 books.

Hana Khan Carries On by Uzma Jalaluddin

Synopsis: Hana Khan works part time at her family’s restaurant, Three Sisters Biriyani Poutine. It’s the only halal restaurant in the Golden Crescent neighborhood of Toronto and a beloved family-run institution. Unfortunately, sales are slowing, and they rarely have any customers. What Hana really wants to do is become a Radio host and share stories from her community (South Asian Muslims) with the world. She already has a mini podcast (Ana’s Brown Girl Rambles) and at least one devoted fan (stanleyp). Right now she’s struggling in her radio internship, and she’s about to have way more problems than just her annoying coworker and her ignorant boss: another halal restaurant is opening up in the Golden Crescent, and the owner has declared that he’s trying to put Three Sisters out of business. Can Hana save her family’s restaurant?

My thoughts: This book was touted as a Muslim “You’ve Got Mail” (which annoyed me a bit because it completely gave away the whole plot, but whatever). Overall I thought it was generally good. I really liked the plotlines surrounding Hana’s Auntie who was visiting from India (because she was a really good character), and the themes of families who immigrated vs those who chose to stay. I did not like when Hana started spreading online rumours about the rival restaurant, because it felt like a cheap move, and I’m glad she regretted it. I also wasn’t really sold on the storylines surrounding Hana’s work at the Radio Station. Personally, I view radio and journalism as a profession where you share information with others, not really where you tell stories, so the final podcast that she produced (Secret Family Histories) didn’t really land with me.

Rating: 3/5 background star-crossed lovers who flee to northern Ontario in order to be together

Rockton Series by Kelley Armstrong

City of the Lost (Book 1)

Synopsis: 10 years ago, Casey had the world’s worst boyfriend. When he got caught selling drugs on someone else’s territory, he escaped by himself, leaving Casey behind to be brutally assaulted. Weeks later, when she was finally out of the hospital, Casey confronted him; when he refused to apologize, she killed him. No one ever tied his death to her, and since then Casey has kept her head down and worked her way through the ranks to become a homicide detective in the local police force. She has a good life; her best friend, Diana, and occasional companionship from guys if she wants it. But all that changes when her current beau gets shot by a hired gun; only luck prevented the hitman from killing Casey too, and it means that her time is up. Her ex-boyfriend was the grandson of a notorious Quebecois mobster; he must suspect that Casey killed his grandson, and will stop at nothing to get his revenge. Casey needs to get out of town immediately. At the same time, Diana’s abusive ex is back in town, and she also needs a safe haven to go to. Diana’s heard a rumor about a mysterious off-the-grid town; the kind of place where no one can find you. Casey is reluctant to go, but the town’s council will only admit Diana if Casey comes along, because they’re in desperate need of a homicide detective. So, Casey and Diana arrive in Rockton, a settlement deep in the Yukon woods, hidden from civilization. Rockton isn’t like any other place; there’s no cell service, minimal electricity, and everything has something to hide. Once you arrive, you can’t leave until your term is over. And now, there’s a string of unsolved murders that the town’s Sheriff, Eric Dalton, has been unable to handle by himself. Will Casey be able to solve the murders? Or has she just committed herself to the worst two years of her life.

Ranking: 5/5 Rockton labour credits (the only currency worth anything up here)

A Darkness Absolute (Book 2)

Synopsis: It’s been a few months since Casey arrived in Rockton, and surprisingly she’s adapted quite well. She’s dating the Sheriff, Eric Dalton, and is best friends with his Deputy, Will Anders. When Casey and Will are out exploring the woods, a blizzard forces them to take shelter in an isolated cave. There, they find something truly horrifying: a woman who went missing from Rockton over a year ago. But the worst part: she’s still alive. Her name is Nicole, and she’s been trapped in that cave for months by a mysterious captor that returns frequently to assault her. She’s in desperate need of medical attention, and Casey and Will are determined to do everything in their power to get her back to Rockton safely. Once they return, Casey must figure out who Nicole’s captor is, before he can strike again.

Rating: 5/5 Newfoundland dogs named after the X-woman Storm

This Fallen Prey (Book 3)

Synopsis: Rockton isn’t just a safe haven for victims with nowhere else to go. When it was initially founded in the 1960s, it was, but the town’s council has changed overtime. Now, they treat it as an investment, and they’re determined to get their money's worth. A town like Rockton isn’t cheap to run, especially when most people (like Casey and Diana) only paid about $5000 to stay for two years. Even an influx of white collar criminals, whose financial crimes mean that they can afford to pay significantly more than the average resident, isn’t enough for investors. So, they’ve decided that Rockton needs more streams of revenue. Sheriff Eric Dalton has suspected that many of the alleged white collar criminals are actually on the run because they’ve committed violent crimes, and that the council is wilfully turning a blind eye as long as they get paid. But things come to a head when a small plane lands in Rockton. It’s only passenger: an alleged serial killer named Olive Brady, whose parents are paying Rockton a small fortune to keep him imprisoned in the Yukon where no one will find him. Eric and Casey are furious; the small settlement doesn’t have the resources to keep anyone prisoner, and even if it did, the townspeople will understandably riot if they find out that there’s a dangerous criminal being kept in Rockton (and they do). But the most worrying issue: Brady quickly manages to escape, something that only could have been accomplished with outside help. Does Brady have an accomplice in town? Is he even guilty of his alleged crimes? It’s up to Casey and Eric to find Brady and figure out the truth, before even more people get killed.

Rating: 3/5 loving stepfathers with no ulterior motives.

(A note on the rating: Readers may wonder why this is the only book in the series with a rating of less than 5/5. This book had everything that I love about the Rockton series, but I was so upset about the ending that I docked it two points. Brady and his stepfather were both killed without figuring out if either (or both) of them were actually guilty. Multiple female characters had plot twists that felt extremely out of character and had very little explanation. Overall, I think that the author had too much going on and rushed the ending instead of taking the time to resolve things. But the first 75% of the book was great, and I still really wanted to keep reading.)

Watcher in the Woods (Book 4)

Synopsis: Detective Casey Butler has had to face fearsome challenges while living in Rockton, but she might be facing her biggest one yet: talking to her sister. April is a world-renowned neurosurgeon in Vancouver, but her and Casey’s relationship has always been frosty at best. But Casey has no other choice; their carpenter Kenny was shot in the back and might be paralyzed, and the town has no doctor or nurse to speak of besides Will Anders, current head of militia and former Army medic. April reluctantly agrees to spend one weekend in Rockton, so Casey and Dalton plan to quietly smuggle her in and out without the rest of the townspeople finding out. The only problem? That same weekend, a man claiming to be a US Marshal arrives in Rockton, and he’s looking for someone. He refuses to say who, much to Casey and Dalton’s frustrations, never mind that a US Marshall shouldn’t even have jurisdiction in the Yukon. And when the marshall ends up dead, April (a convenient new arrival) becomes the biggest suspect. Will Casey be able to clear her sister’s name and figure out what’s really going on?

Rating: 5/5 rent-controlled properties partially owned and operated by your ex-friend’s grandmother

Alone in the Wild (Book 5)

Synopsis: Casey and Eric are on a much needed vacation (although when you live in rural Yukon, it usually means going to a different part of the woods). But on the way back, they discover something more than just the typical dead body: a dead body and a live baby. Rockton is a strictly for single adults, so there’s no way the baby came from there. When it’s discovered that the dead woman isn’t the baby girl’s birth mother, Casey must figure out who she really belongs to. But a lot of people seem to think that the baby would be better off away from her true family. If that’s true, Casey must wrestle with the possibility of adopting the baby and becoming a mother. And since severe injuries have left her infertile, this might be her only chance at motherhood. Will Casey be able to figure out the truth, and make the right decision?

Rating: 5/5 bracelets made by your wife’s lesbian lover

A Stranger in Town (Book 6)

Synopsis: Detective Casey Butler and her boyfriend Sheriff Eric Dalton are out for a walk in the Yukon forests surrounding Rockton. It’s a nice day, about to be made much worse by an unpleasant discovery: a female hiker who was brutally attacked by someone or something. Casey brings her back to Rockton for treatment; the hiker is in a state of mental confusion and doesn’t understand English, but luckily a new Rockton resident, Jay, speaks Dutch and agrees to translate. Casey and Dalton are worried; after finding the hiker’s presumed campsite, it seems as though she was attacked by the hostiles; a group of former Rockton residents that fled into the forest and somehow became savages. The hostiles can’t be reasoned with, and will attack anything that they perceive as a threat. Casey has always been worried about the hostiles, but this incident has her even more concerned; will she be able to find out what’s really going on?

Rating: 5/5 boots with your lover’s severed foot in them

The Deepest of Secrets (Book 7)

Synopsis: After finally discovering the secret history of the hostiles (wild people that live savagely in the woods around Rockton), and that the council was responsible, Detective Casey Butler is satisfied. But it seems as though she’ll be punished for solving this mystery: the council is shutting Rockton down. No ones extensions are getting approved, and no new villagers are being accepted. The council doesn’t want to completely give up on their investment, but they want to start fresh with a new settlement that has a less inquisitive police department. Of course, Sheriff Eric Dalton and Casey are both invited to come along, but it’s the last thing that they want. They’ve both had issues with the way the council has run Rockton for years, and this is the last straw. But the townspeople are restless; someone is going around revealing residents secrets (a major sin in a town designed to shelter people running away from their pasts) and fomenting discontent. And of course, a body is soon discovered. Will Casey be able to solve this final mystery, or will it die along with Rockton?

Rating: 5/5 outdoor movie screens with a startling accusation pinned to them

My Overall Thoughts: I am obsessed with this series, I love it (and it’s sequel series that I’ll discuss next month) so much. Casey and Eric are great main characters, and have a really loving, supportive, and unproblematic relationship. I like how unique the setting of Rockton is, and the author makes sure to describe a lot of the wilderness surroundings (including dangerous encounters with wildlife), and how life in Rockton is so different from what it’s like to live down south. Truly, I don’t think my synopses have done the series justice, so I’ll just say that I’m addicted to it, and cannot wait for the next book to be released. (Editor’s note: looking back on my review of this series, I feel like I’m not really doing it justice because I’m unable to fully articulate what I really like about it. It’s partially that I read the books back to back to back so quickly, partially that I’m doing this review after the fact, and partially because this is the kind of book where I go into a fugue state while reading it. I just get so entranced that I can’t wait to see what happens next. I suppose this isn’t the sign of a book written particularly well, but I’m choosing to focus on how much joy this series has brought me. Hopefully you are able to pick up what I’m putting down.)

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

March

This month I read 1 book and 6 ebooks from the Toronto Public Library, totalling to 7 books.

Before we begin:

Dishonourable Mentions

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir

Synopsis: Gideon is planning to escape the hellish dungeon where she was raised, but her childhood nemesis won’t let her go without one last service to the Ninth House.

My thoughts: This book pretty famous for being described as “lesbian necromancers in space” online, so I figured I’d give it a shot. But I found it uninteresting and too much of a fantasy for my taste.

You may like this book if: you won’t be disappointed to find out that “lesbian necromancers in space” isn’t really a great description of the book.

Golden Age Locked Room Mysteries, Edited by Otto Penzler

Synopsis: This is a collection of short stories from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s, written by classic American mystery writers. They all feature the locked room trope, where a body is discovered in a place where the killer could not have possibly accessed (ie. a room with no windows locked from the inside).

My thoughts: I read the first few short stories and really liked them, but I never finished this book before I had to return it to the library, and didn’t feel compelled to put the book on hold in order to finish it.

You may like this book if: you’re a sucker for mysteries, the Golden Age, and transatlantic accents.

And now for the real reviews:

The Future by Catherine Leroux

Synopsis: Gloria’s daughter Judith died of a drug overdose, and no one has seen her daughters since. So, Gloria packs up her life and moves to Fort Detroit in order to get there. When she arrives, conditions are even worse than she could imagine: Fort Detroit (a francophone city that is a Canadian territory) has been utterly abandoned by all levels of government. The only people she can count on are her neighbors. As Gloria learns to live in Fort Detroit, she slowly discovers the gang of children that have set up their own society on the banks of the Rouge River. Could that be where her grand-daughters are?

My thoughts: This was one of the least enjoyable Canada Reads books, so I was kind of disappointed to hear that it actually won (allegedly, it’s the best book to “carry us forward,” I guess because the last few pages slip in something about the children being our future? I just didn’t really care for this book. The premise (alternate history Detroit that has suffered massive urban decay) was pretty interesting, and I thought Gloria’s interactions with her friends and neighbors trying to make a life for themselves in Fort Detroit. However, I was not at all impressed by the sections that centered on the wild children/ There were way too many children introduced, and they had very few distinguishing characteristics besides their crazy nicknames (Adidas, TickTock, etc), so I was forever mixing up the children with one another. I was disappointed when Gloria’s grand-daughters were revealed at the very end, because they had just been hidden away by the wild children for the whole time. Why did the author choose to spend all her time focusing on children that were not the grand-daughters (who, if you’ll recall, are the entire reason Gloria moved to Fort Detroit at all, and therefore feel like they should have a more central role in the plot). I wish that the story had featured the grand-daughters thriving (or struggling) as part of the wild child society.

Rating: 2/5 Urban Decay bus tours that ran over you’re neighbour’s elderly father without a second thought

The Crow Valley Karaoke Championships

Synopsis: Tonight is the night: it’s the Karaoke Championships for Crow Valley, Alberta. This year, after being ravaged by forest fires and mourning the loss of Dale Jepson (pillar of the community, guard at the local prison, and Karaoke Champion), the winner of the Crow Valley qualifiers will get fast-tracked straight to nationals. Everyone in town wants to win: Brett, who wants to dedicate his song in memory of his best friend Dale; Molly, who wants to dedicate her song to Dale because he stopped to rescue her during the forest fire that ultimately killed him; and many others. This novel follows Brett, Molly, and three other characters [Val, who worked with Dale at the prison and is unhappily married to Brett; Marcel, a convict that escapes from the prison; and Roxanne, guest karaoke judge and Dale’s widow] over one fateful night.

My thoughts: This book was not exceptional, but I thought it was quirky and enjoyable all the same. I appreciated the cancon, and there were several running jokes throughout the book that kept popping up subtly, and I thought those were quite funny. I also appreciated how each of the 5 character perspectives were intertwined with each other to create a full picture of the day (I feel like this is usually reserved for mysteries, since every second has to be accounted for in order to solve the crime). However, a lot of the storylines were dragging and uninteresting, which made the book a bit of a slog to get through.

My rating: 3/5 signs to beware of a bear? porcupine? zombie? it’s really not quite clear

The Words We Keep by Erin Stewart

Synopsis: Lily Larkin is trying her best to keep it together. Ever since she discovered her sister Alice attempting suicide, Lily’s been having panic attacks. She’s unable to focus at school, and she’s about to be kicked off of the track team for poor performance, but she can’t say anything because everyone is supposed to be keeping it together to support Alice in her recovery. It doesn’t help that she’s paired up with Micah for a school poetry project. Micah has a reputation at school for being crazy and manic, but the part that really stresses Lily out is that he spent time at the same treatment home as Alice; Lily cannot let anyone at school find out the truth about Alice. To make matters worse, the group with the best project will be entered into a contest, and the prize is a scholarship big enough that Lily could attend her dream college debt-free. Will Lily be able to move through her anxiety, or will it end up drowning her?

My thoughts: Readers will know that I’m 25, and thus out of my angsty high school era, which is when I would have most enjoyed this book. It isn’t something I would have picked up by myself, but I actually read it for work to see if it would make a good addition to the IBBY Collection for Young People With Disabilities, which collects children’s and YA books that feature disability (including mental illness) representation. I thought it was a fair representation of Lily and Alice’s mental illnesses, although it definitely could have done more. In particular, I wished it spent more time depicting Lily and Alice’s recoveries, and clarified if Lily was or wasn’t suffering from OCD and PTSD, instead of just generalized anxiety.

Rating: 3/5 random acts of guerilla poetry

Everyone on this Train is a Suspect by Benjamin Stevenson

Synopsis: About a year after the events of his true-crime memoir about finding the Black Tongue serial killer (see my August 2023 round-up), Ernest Cunningham is back. He’s been invited to be a panelist for the Australian Mystery Writers Festival. In celebration of it’s 50th Anniversary, the AMWF will take place this year on the Ghan, a cross-country train trip that traverses Australia from Darwin in the north to Adelaide in the south. Other panel guests include Lisa Fulton (who wrote one award-winning novel 20 years ago and is finally publishing a second), S. F. Majors (who writes psychological thrillers), Alan Royce (who writes forensic thrillers), Wolfgang (who writes literary fiction and believes that all other kinds are beneath him), and the guest of honour Henry McTavish (a Scottish author best known for his iconic Detective Moribund series). But when Henry McTavish drops dead during a panel, Ernest will risk life, limb, and his relationship in order to find out who killed his idol.

My thoughts: In both of Benjamin Stevenson’s books that I’ve read, the mysteries themselves were just okay; the real thing that knocks it out of the part is how Ernest cheekily breaks the fourth wall. I liked how Ernest added in a few emails to his publisher discussing the very book that you are reading. In this book, the mystery itself was quite convoluted, and I found it upsetting that Ernest and Juliette almost broke up because he was obsessed with solving it (#JusticeforJuliette). However, the final act of the book was really dramatic, and it was worth it to see the reveal and finally tie up all of the loose ends (and some of those ends were extremely loose!). Also, this is the first book that I’ve read to feature AI-generated fiction as a major plot point, and I think that one was enough. So if all authors could take my advice and not feature or even mention “Chat GTP” in any of their books ever, I’d appreciate it.

Rating: 4/5 men who were awarded the Justice in Fiction Award, Women’s Prize through special exemption.

Precious Cargo: My Year Driving the Kids on School Bus 3077 by Craig Davidson

Synopsis: It’s the summer of 2008, and Craig Davidson needs a job. After struggling as an author, he now needs something (anything) just to make ends meet. So, he signs up to drive a school bus in Calgary. This book is a true account of the year that Craig spent driving the bus, and the 5 passengers that he drove every day.

My thoughts: After reading The Words We Keep through a critical disability lens, I ended up using the same lens for this book, and found it to be a bit lacking. The main problem was that Craig made the book too much about himself, and how he related to and perceived the disabled passengers on his school bus. That feels like a weird complaint for a book that Craig himself wrote about his own personal experiences, and maybe I’m not really justified with that criticism. However, Craig didn’t really discuss any other aspects of his life outside of driving the kids around (especially why he stopped driving the bus and what he moved on to, which really bothered me). It felt like they were just along for the ride (literally), and didn’t seem to have much agency, or even really do much at all. Craig is an author, and he also included some chapters from the novel that was working on at the time, which was an X-men style book about a group of children with super powers. Eventually I could tell that it was obviously based on the children who rode his bus, but I don’t really know why he included it at all. It wasn’t a short story with its own narrative through line, it was literally just a few chapters sprinkled throughout the memoir.

Rating: 2/5 Code Blues (a non-specific serious emergency)

Much Ado About Nada by Uzma Jalaluddin

Synopsis: Nada Syed feels stuck. She’s almost 30 and still living at home. Her work as a software engineer is draining, and her big idea (a muslim-specific search engine called Ask Apa [Ask your Older Sister] that would give tailored advice and search results for young South Asian muslims) is dead in the water. Nada is still bitter that Haneef, son of Sister Rusul (friend to the Syed’s and Nada’s primary investor) launched his own app with the same concept only six months before Ask Apa would have premiered. The absolute last thing she wants to do is attend a Muslim convention, but her best friend Haleema’s new fiance is one of the organizers, and she promised Haleema that they would go together. But the conference goes badly for Nada. She gets into an embarrassing argument with Sister Rusul, and their fight goes viral. Even worse, she finally meets Haleema’s fiance Zayn, and Zayn’s brother Baz. Nada and Baz have a long history, much of it bad. Will Nada ever be able to move forward, or will she stay stuck in the past?

My thoughts: This book is not based on the Shakespeare play. It is supposed to be loosely based on Persuasion by Jane Austen, but I’ve never read or watched it, so I can’t really comment on it as an adaptation. However, I really think that it’s still a good novel by itself, which is the mark of a good adaptation. I really liked how the author flashed back to different points in Baz and Nada’s relationship, and how she slowly uncovered everything that happened over the course of the book. I also liked how the flashbacks included more history about Ask Apa, and how Nada was able to get justice and let go of her resentment. Even the plotline between Haleema and Zayn (while a bit overly dramatic) came to a mature and sensible resolution, which I really appreciated.

Rating: 4/5 dates at EJ Pratt Library on the University of Toronto campus, where I myself studied many times.

Ayesha at Last by Uzma Jalaluddin

Synopsis: Ayesha is a teacher in the Golden Crescent, a majority Muslim neighborhood in Toronto. She’s finally started her first ever teaching job since graduating with her degree, but it’s stressful and unfulfilling; in short, nothing like what she expected. What she really wants to be is a poet, but it’s not a career choice that her traditional family would approve of (and it won’t pay back her family’s debts to her uncle Sulaiman, which she’s determined to do). Even worse, she’s single at 27, while her younger cousin and best friend Hafsa is practically drowning in rishtas (arranged marriage proposals). Khalid has been working for a Toronto tech company for years, and he’s never really had any problems (but he hasn’t made any friends either). But he’s about to have a huge problem: the new HR manager, Shelia, hates that Khalid dresses and acts according to very old-fashioned Muslim beliefs (including always wearing a white robe and skullcap, not shaving his beard, and refusing to shake hands with any women who aren’t related to him). She’s determined to get Khalid to quit by sabotaging his projects. Khalid and Ayesha meet while organizing a Muslims in Action conference for the Toronto Muslim Assembly, and sparks fly between them. Organizing a conference is never easy, but the stakes couldn’t be higher: their initial consultant Tarek might be scamming them, and the conference is TMA’s last chance to avoid going bankrupt). Will Khalid and Ayesha be able to save the conference, even when Khalid gets engaged to Hafsa?

My thoughts: This is apparently supposed to be a Muslim retelling of Pride and Prejudice, but readers will know that I’ve never seen the movies or read the book, so this part is totally lost on me. I generally enjoyed it, but I think it’s the weakest of Uzma Jalauddin’s three books (perhaps a sophomore slump?) All of the plotlines relating to Hafsa (the mistaken identity, the alleged kidnapping, etc) were confusing and not entertaining, and I hated how immature she was, and how much she took advantage of Ayesha’s kindness. Overall I didn’t really vibe with this book, but I think that most romance fans probably would like it more than I did.

Rating: 2/5 coffee mugs left on the roof of your car as you drove away in a hurry

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

February 2024

This month I read 5 e-books and 1 e-audiobook from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 6 books.

As there were no Dishonourable Mentions this month, let's get started!

Denison Avenue by Christina Wong and Daniel Innes

Synopsis: After her husband Henry is killed in a car accident, Wong Cho Sum slowly becomes unmoored from the world around her. She and Henry have lived in Toronto’s Chinatown neighborhood for years, but Henry spoke the most English and was the most sociable. Without him, Cho Sum is forced to exist in her own world with few friends, in a city that doesn’t care about its Chinese residents. This book is a poetic account of Cho Sum’s life in the years following Henry’s death, and how she is able to move forward.

My thoughts: This book definitely felt like a prose poem. It wasn’t written in verse, but there was a lot of lyrical observations about the world, as well as unusual sentence structures. It also definitely paid homage to Toronto’s Chinatown, (Readers will know that shortly after reading this book I co-incidentally visited Chinatown 3 times in 8 days, which really deepened my appreciation of the book) with descriptions and illustrations of many local landmarks. (The illustrations themselves were lovely, but I feel like they would have had a lot more impact if they were scattered throughout the story as direct references and illustrations of the plot, not just all stacked together at the end.) Cho Sum talks primarily in Cantonese, and the book does a great job of getting all the meaning across by having the Cantonese words spelled out phonetically, and then the English translations in brackets afterwards. A good friend of mine also noticed that the font used for the Cantonese transliterations was larger than all the others, ostensibly to make it more prominent to English-speaking readers. Although this book was not my favourite Canada Reads nomination, I think it should have won. It was a stark commentary on gentrification, ageism, racism, and social isolation within communities, and I thought it was quite good even though it wasn’t super enjoyable or entertaining for me to read.

3/5 cupboards covered in grocery store fruit stickers

Island Queen by Vanessa Riley

Synopsis: Island Queen is a novelization of the real-life historical figure Dorothy Kirwan Thomas. Dorothy was born into slavery on Monserrat, a British Overseas Territory in the Caribbean. Her father (an Irish plantation owner) owned her mother (a Black slave). In addition to doing the work required of her enslavement, Dolly began selling goods and picking up extra work in order to buy the freedom of herself and her family. She was a lifelong entrepreneur, and opened up housekeeping businesses and hotels across the Caribbean, all while raising (and fighting for) her 10 children. Although the book itself is fiction, and the details of many of her relationships, thoughts, and motivations are speculative, it's grounded in a lot of facts about Dolly's life, and was a very engaging and powerful read.

My thoughts: Considering that Dolly Kirwan Thomas was such a successful entrepreneur, I was pretty disappointed that the book focused so little on her professional activities. It mainly made vague references to her businesses, and all the action happened off-screen. I have to assume this is because the author didn’t know enough about it, but considering all the research she did I find this hard to believe. Instead, the book focused a lot more on her personal relationships with various boyfriends, which to me felt pretty sensationalist. The main message that I took away from it was how much Dolly could have benefitted from reliable birth control. This isn’t because she had 10 children, especially since she was never shown to be struggling to provide for them. Instead, I think that birth control would have allowed Dolly more freedom in deciding who she wanted to conceive children with, considering she constantly lived in fear that some of her children’s fathers would (and did) use the children to hurt or manipulate her. The book was told in a series of flashbacks while Dolly is trying to organize an important meeting, but I didn’t find the present-day plotline to be compelling (in fact I thought it was a lot less interesting than the other parts of the book). Overall this book was very long and wasn’t super enjoyable to read, and it almost put me into a reading slump.

2/5 white silk turbans

Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood

Synopsis: Andromeda is a debtera, someone trained to exorcize curses from the Evil Eye. Unfortunately, she's a debtera without a license, since her mentor kicked her out for refusing to enter an arranged marriage, and she's been living on the streets ever since. But when she hears about Magnus Rochester, it's the opportunity she's been waiting for. If she can successfully cleanse Magnus' house then he'll become her patron, and it won't matter that she never was officially licensed. Unfortunately, Magnus has already hired and fired 10 other debtera; none of them were able to cleanse the house, because it's the strongest Evil Eye manifestation that they've ever seen. Will Andi be able to overcome the impossible and cleanse the house? Or will she become just another victim?

My thoughts: This was a really interesting read, with a lot of engaging world building and lore. I particularly liked how the books was obviously set in an unnamed African country, and any characters and perspective from the UK were viewed as foreign, considering a lot of what I read has the inverse perspective. However, the strong beginning gave way to a weaker second half, and eventually left me a bit disappointed with the whole thing.

3/5 piles of long, pale things with a red sauce smothering them (pasta)

Shut Up You’re Pretty by Tea Mutonji

Synopsis: This is a book of short stories, each a snapshot of the life of Loli, who immigrated from Central Africa to Eastern Toronto as a young child, and who eventually grows into a young woman. Normally I would review each story in a collection, but because they were all about different moments in Loli’s life, it definitely felt more like one larger novel, so I won’t do that.

My thoughts: This book has a lot of references to and depictions of sex, but in a decidedly non-erotic way (actions are described very clinically and without much enjoyment, the way one might brush their teeth or do other chores), and it was pretty jarring and overwhelming. However, there was a specific quote that really stuck with me: “I don’t know why he was so kind to me. I couldn’t tell if it was genuine or sexual. I tried not to make everything about sex, every act of kindness, every well-wish, every hello. But you go through life being touched, you go through life being looked at, you go through life with an uncle commenting on your breasts, or your brother’s friend giving you a condom for your birthday then denying it, you go through life being called a cunt on public transportation, you go through life being followed at midnight, you go through life being told you’re pretty, you’re pretty, you’re so fucking pretty — it gets complicated.” And she’s so right. It’s very much giving All-American Bitch by Olivia Rodrigo. This book was also a portrait of Scarborough, and covered themes like racism, classism, poverty, and mental illness quite well (almost hauntingly). It wasn’t necessarily an enjoyable book for me to read, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth reading.

2/5 diy concoctions for waxing body hair that really should have been left to the professionals

The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose

Synopsis: One year after the events of The Maid (see my January 2023 review), Molly Gray is doing well. She’s been promoted to head maid at the Regency Grand Hotel, and she has a small but mighty group of friends to boot, including Lily, the painfully shy but astoundingly efficient new Maid-in-Training. The Regency Grand has finally recovered from the unfortunately death of a guest last year, and to celebrate they are hosting the legendary mystery author J. D. Grimthorpe at a luncheon in his honour, where he will make a special announcement. But unfortunately, J. D. Grimthrope dies at the luncheon, before he can make his announcement. The police are on scene, and they think it’s murder. Thankfully, Molly is not the prime suspect again. Unluckily, Lily is, and so Molly will have to do whatever she can in order to prove Lily’s innocence.

My thoughts: I do like the dramatic irony that is interspersed throughout this books narration, where the audience understands more about the social cues going on than the narrator (Molly) herself does. And overall, it was a good read. However, I really don’t want Molly to join the police force as the ending implies. She only ever solves mysteries because her (or her friends) freedom depends on it, not really because she enjoys it all that much. I know that leaving her maid job for something else is supposed to be a sign of character development and moving up in the world, but frankly I would much rather that happen while Molly is still a maid (ie quitting the hotel in order to start her own cleaning company). Otherwise it gives the impression that cleaning is a much worse profession than being in the police department. I also don’t want Molly to be the “token autistic person” (like the token queer or token BIPOC person) that the allistic police staff will use to “educate themselves” about autism.

3/5 (fake?) fabergé eggs that simply must be cleaned even if the patina makes it more valuable

Ark Angel by Anthony Horowitz

Synopsis: Alex Rider has been through a lot lately, including dismantling the operations of SCORPIA (a global crime syndicate) and getting shot by an assassin. It’s only right that he get some time to rest and recuperate in London’s best private hospital. But when Alex encounters a group of kidnappers trying to capture Paul Drevin, his teenaged neighbor at the hospital, Alex has no choice but to involve himself in order to save Paul’s life. Unfortunately, that results in Alex getting captured by the kidnappers, who are representatives of a new eco-terrorist organization known as FORCE THREE (named after Earth being the third planet from the sun). FORCE THREE is determined to take down Paul’s father, Russian billionaire Nikolai Drevin, for his crimes against the environment committed while building his businesses, especially Ark Angel, a hotel in space that Drevin is building in partnership with the British government. Fortunately, Alex survives his encounter with FORCE THREE. As a reward, Nikolai insists on treating Alex to a vacation, partially so that he can become better friends with Paul. But Alex has no idea what he’s about to get himself into.

My thoughts: The entire Alex Rider series is kid kino, and Ark Angel is no exception. This was one of my favorites of the series as a kid, and it definitely holds up when being re-read in adulthood (even if the villains have questionable ideas and motives). Readers will know that I have never been a fan of the James Bond franchise, so I was pretty surprised (and actually a little disappointed) to learn exactly how James Bond-esque these books are (A reliable source has informed me they are absolutely filled with tons of Bond tropes, including female minor characters having puny names and villain lairs in the Caribbean). But all-in-all the books are a lot of fun, and I look forward to reading the next one.

4/5 diamond-edged shoelaces that would have been a lot better if they were actually exploding earrings instead

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

January 2024

We are officially back with the first Reading Roundup of 2024! I had such a good time doing these in 2023, so of course I couldn't leave you, my readers, in the dark about all the books I'll be reading this year. Thanks for joining me on this journey! I'm very excited to see where the year will take us.

This month I read 10 ebooks from the Toronto Public Library.

Before we begin:

Dishonourable Mentions

An American Immigrant by Johanna Rojas Vann

Synopsis: Melanie Carvajal is a journalist working at a Miami newspaper, and it’s her dream job ever since she started last year. But after some lack-luster articles, her career is at risk. It seems the only way for Melanie to save it is by taking an assignment in Colombia, where her mother is originally from. Will Melanie be able to relax enough in order to reconnect with her culture and her family?

My thoughts: Melanie was such an insane workaholic that it really turned me off of the book. Readers will know that I recently graduated with a master’s degree, and now that I’m working a 9-5 job I’m finally in my work-life balance era. Reading is a hobby that I do for fun, so I definitely am not going to read things that give me second-hand stress.

You make like this book if: you are really on that hustle-grindset and need someone to tell you to take a break and reconnect with your roots.

And now,

The Real Reviews

Love Buzz by Neely Tubati Alexander

Synopsis: Serena Khan has made her dead mother proud: she has a stable, high-paying (yet boring) job at an esteemed accounting firm, she’s in a long-term relationship with a reliable (yet boring) boyfriend that her mom met before she passed. But in 6 weeks, Serena is going to be interviewed by her Alma Mater for a popular “Where are they now?” column that focuses on graduates sharing their successes. And she’s not happy with her life. While attending her cousin’s bachelorette party in New Orleans, she meets a tall, handsome stranger, who is from Seattle (like her). His name is Julian, he works in tech, and he likes Nirvana. Serena is instantly in love, but that’s all the information she knows about him by the time she’s forced to go back to Seattle. Impulsively, she breaks up with her boyfriend and quits her job, hoping to find Julian, but also hoping to change up her life. Will she be able to pull her life together in time for the interview, or will she be forced to reveal to the world just how much of a mistake she made?

My thoughts: At first glance, this book definitely seems like a romance, but I’m really glad that the author focused very little on the actual romance between Serena and Julian. Instead, it was mostly about Serena going through a mid-life crisis, and then actually making the changes she needed to in order to be actually satisfied with her life. I also really liked that she experienced a lot of bumps along the way, including a massive failure at her new job that she was still able to overcome.

Rating: 4/5 tops that can feature or flatter the parts of your body in a way that works for YOU

Four Aunties and a Wedding by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Synopsis: Meddy Chan has planned and photographed many weddings, but now it’s finally time for her own wedding! A few years ago she reconnected with her college sweetheart Nathan, but that’s a whole other story (see my November 2023 Reading Roundup for more details). It’s been hard for Meddy to find vendors that work well with her eccentric Chinese-Indonesian family, so she’s grateful to finally meet Staphanie and her family, who are also Chinese-Indonesian. Meddy can rest assured knowing that her dream wedding is safe in Staphanie’s hands. Or can she? During her bachelorette party (the night before her wedding), Meddy overhears Staphanie making plans to “take out a target” the next day; Staphanie and her family must work for the mafia, and are planning to kill someone at her wedding! Meddy cannot let that happen, and enlists the help of her aunties. Will they save a life and still save the wedding?

My thoughts: I really enjoyed the first book in this series, but this book definitely took it a little too far with the silliness. Meddy and her aunts got into a lot of shenanigans, to the point where Meddy kept having to leave her wedding events in order to deal with everything. It actually started to create a wedge between her and Nathan, much to my sadness, but everything did resolve itself in the end. I also liked how the book showcased the variety of families within the Asian Diaspora, and especially the awkward tension between Meddy’s family (new money Chinese immigrants to the US via Indonesia) vs Nathan’s family (his mom is white, his dad is Singaporean but spent most of his time in international schools and the UK).

Rating: 3/5 fancy hats with dragons wearing purple cheetah-print suits

When in Rome by Sarah Adams

Synopsis: Rae Rose is one of the world’s biggest pop stars, two weeks away from embarking on her global tour. She has talent, fame, and fortune, and she should be the happiest person in the world. But Rae Rose (real name Amelia) isn’t happy with life, and desperately needs a break. She loves all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies, especially Roman Holiday, but Rome, Italy is just too far for her to escape to unnoticed. However, Rome, Kentucky is only a two-hour drive from her house in Nashville. It’s the perfect small town to escape to. Unfortunately, Amelia only makes it 90% of the way there before her car completely breaks down on someone’s lawn. That someone is Noah, a grumpy older brother to three sisters, and owner of a small pie shop in Rome. Sparks fly between Amelia and Noah, especially when they learn it will take days for her car to be repaired. But can this big city pop star really make things work with such a small town boy?

My thoughts: This was a classic fluffy romance novel, nothing more and nothing less. I actually read it because I read the sequel (again, see my November 2023 roundup), which deals with Noah’s sister Annie and Amelia’s bodyguard Will. I loved the adorable small-town vibe of Rome, and I definitely got more of that with this book. I also really liked how Noah’s sisters became such good friends with Amelia (readers will know that my boyfriend and his friends are basically brothers, so their girlfriends (including me) are basically sisters-in-law). The only thing I wasn’t really a fan of was Amelia’s obsession with Audrey Hepburn; it felt super forced, like the author was trying to shoe-horn in their special interest.

Rating: 3/5 thermostats that were mysteriously turned down to 60 degrees fahrenheit, so you have no choice but to wrap your girl up in a blanket burrito

Dead Beat by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: It’s almost Halloween, and Harry Dresden has suddenly become very busy. One of his many mortal enemies (Mavra, Queen of the Black Court Vampires and suspected wizard) has demanded that he find and procure the Word of Kemmler, a notebook filled with the works of a notorious Nazi necromancer. If he doesn’t, Mavra will release photos of Sgt Karrin Murphy killing what appear to be innocent civilians (but what were actually Renfields, former humans whose minds have been shattered and will kill anyone who stands in front of them). Murphy was only doing that as a favour to help Harry out, so the least he can do is make sure that she doesn’t get fired from the Chicago Police Department in disgrace. Even more troubling, Harry isn’t the only one searching for the Word of Kemmler; there are at least three other necromancers in town. Plus, a few books ago Harry inadvertently picked up the coin of Lasciel, a fallen angel who could grant him tremendous power if he agrees to be her vassal.

My thoughts: I definitely liked this Dresden Files installment more than some of the earlier ones that I’ve read, and I’m almost struggling to put my finger on why. I think part of it is because there was more complexity in the characters and their relationships. At the same time, I think that Butcher changed up his normal formula. Typically, he gives Harry 3-4 distinct plot threads; they are all connected in some way but the relationships are usually not realized until the very end. This time, at least some of the plot threads were more connected (there were three different necromancer factions that Harry was battling, but they were all after the same prize). Regardless of what is causing it, this is the high that I’ve been chasing since I read book #10 (the first book that I listened too, and the one that really got me hooked on the series), so I’m definitely here for it.

Rating: 4/5 one-man polka bands

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston

Synopsis: Florence Day has a secret: people know that she edits books for a famous romance author, but in reality she’s actually the ghostwriter. Florence has a second secret: she can talk to ghosts. She’s not resentful of this ability, but it’s definitely put strain on a lot of the relationships in her life, especially with her family and her hometown. And she also has a third secret: ever since she broke up with her boyfriend (who didn’t believe that she could talk to ghosts), she’s been unable to believe in love, which is a huge problem for a romance writer. All of these things come to a head when her new editor Benji says that she has 24 hours to submit a manuscript that she’s been unable to finish for a year. That night, Florence’s dad dies, and she is forced to go back to her hometown and see her family and neighbors for the first time in years. And on top of all that, her new editor Benji appears in her hometown as a ghost, after he was hit by a car the same night that Florence’s dad died. Will Florence be able to reconnect with her family, oblige her dad’s wacky funeral requests, finish her manuscript, and help Benji come to terms with his newfound ghost status?

My thoughts: If I had a nickel for every time I read a romance novel by Ashley Poston where the female main character worked in the publishing industry in New York, fell in love with a man who would be a great boyfriend but is metaphysically unavailable, and knew an older woman who recently died in a way that profoundly impacted her, I’d have two nickels (which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice). I read the Seven Year Slip, which is also by Asley Poston (again, see my November 2023 round-up), and I really enjoyed it, so it’s not so surprising that I also really enjoyed The Dead Romantics. Perhaps it’s a bit formulaic, but it’s definitely a formula that is working for me, so I’m definitely not mad about it.

Rating: 5/5 rabid possums that were released into a police station (even though possums don’t usually get rabies)

Bad Cree by Jessica Johns

Synopsis: Mackenzie has been having bad dreams. But considering that she keeps waking up holding objects that were in her dreams (including twigs, pinecones, and the head of a crow), she’s starting to think that they might be more than just dreams (especially when her sister Sabrina keeps appearing in them). After three weeks (and several threatening text messages from someone claiming to be Sabrina), she reluctantly consults an auntie, who says that she needs to come back to her hometown of High Prairie, Alberta in order to get some help from the family. She hasn’t been back home in three years, not even returning when Sabrina died of an aneurysm last year, so her reunion with her mother, sister, and cousins is strained to say the least. Worryingly, the dreams actually get worse once Mackenzie arrives home, and even worse. Will Mackenzie and her family figure out what is causing the dreams, and defeat it? Or will she become the next victim?

My thoughts: This is one of the 2024 Canada Reads selections, and I’m really glad that it was, because I otherwise may not have ever heard of this book. It was definitely one of the strongest candidates, personally I hope that it wins. I thought it was a really interesting look into Mackenzie’s family, and an insightful portrait of how many Indigenous people (and also rural Canadians) are living in Canada today. I also thought the plot was very horrifying and very compelling at the same time, since I was gripped until the very end.

Rating: 4/5 High Prairie minutes (the distance between two branches of the trail through the local forest).

Grave Expectations by Alice Bell

Synopsis: Claire and Sophie have been best friends since high school, and still go everywhere together even 10 years later. The only caveat is that Sophie died in high school, and reappeared as a ghost that only Claire can see and talk to. Together, Claire is able to eek out a living as a medium performing seances. A college friend hires Claire (and Sophie) to be the entertainment for her grandmother’s birthday at an estate in the English countryside. The next day, Nana passes away in her sleep (100% natural causes, there’s truly nothing fishy going on), and her final request is that Claire solve the mystery of the other spirit that lives in the estate. This spirit is clearly tormented and suffering, but has only been dead for about a year. Claire (and Sophie) decide that they must fulfill Nana’s last request, and set out to investigate with the help of ex-policeman Sebastian and cool nonbinary teen Alex (Nana’s grandson and great-grandchild, respectively). Will this rag-tag team be able to solve the mystery and put the spirit to rest?

My thoughts: This was a pretty fine novel. I liked reading it, but nothing really stands out as being particularly good or bad. I wasn’t in love with the writing style, which was a little too British for my liking, but that’s my own fault for reading a very British book. I was a bit disappointed that they didn’t end up solving the mystery surrounding Sophie’s death, so I guess that that plot line may have been saved for a sequel.

Rating: 3/5 grandfathers who don’t care what the Wokerati say, they won’t stop putting mayonnaise in their Welsh Rarebits

Proven Guilty by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: After Harry Dresden was reluctantly recruited to be a Warden of the White Council of Wizards, he hasn’t really had a lot of time. First, he had to attend the execution of a teenage Warlock (an out-of-control apprentice wizard that has been performing black magic). Even though the warlock had been committing terrible crimes and was unquestionably guilty, Harry was still crushed that he couldn’t be saved. After the meeting, a member of the Senior Council asks him to look into Black Magic that has been loose in Chicago. At the same time, Molly Carpenter comes to Harry for help. Harry is too chivalrous to say no to any woman, child, or friend, so he’s forced to help Molly (daughter of Michael Carpenter, who is best known for being a Knight of the Cross and one of Harry’s few friends). Molly and her friends have organized a horror movie convention that keeps being attacked by real-life horror movie villains (with a lot of real-life consequences). After investigation, it turns out that the convention is under attack by phobophages (monsters that feed on fear). Harry devises a clever plan to dispatch the phobophages, but when it has unintended consequences, he must do the unthinkable: invade the very heart of the Kingdom of Winter.

My thoughts: This book has the same je ne sais quoi that Dead Beat had, and really should have earned a 4/5 rating. It was really cool to witness the battle in Arcutus Tor, which was referenced several times in Small Favour (the first book I ever read in the Dresden Files). However, there was such an egregious romance scene that I was forced to knock it down a full point to 3/5. I refuse to believe that any other sane writer (or any female writer at all) would have orchestrated a romance scene between Harry Dresden (who is about 33 years old, according to my calculations) and Molly Carpenter (who is probably 17, and basically Harry’s niece). Even though nothing actually happened between the two of them, and Harry didn’t do anything wrong, the scene definitely went way too far with sexualizing Molly and generally feeling like pandering to the male gaze in a way that made me feel gross. If I wasn’t already 8 books deep, I probably would have stopped reading the whole series here. But fortunately (or unfortunately, depending how you look at it), the rest of the book was actually pretty good, and I’m excited to see what new developments will happen in future books.

Rating: 3/5 guest passes to the first annual Splattercon!!

Meet Me at the Lake by Carley Fortune

Synopsis: Fern Brookbanks hates the family business. Her mother, Maggie, was always focused on running the Brookbanks Resort just outside of Huntsville, Ontario. But Fern hates living in a small town. As soon as she could, she moved to Toronto for university, and stayed there to work in a variety of coffee shops. Now, she’s a manager of a small chain of shops in the west end of the city, although the hipster Scandanavian vibe is the complete opposite of the simple, cozy coffee shop she’s always dreamed of opening. But after Maggie was killed in a car accident, Fern is forced to come back to the struggling resort and take over as the owner. Being back up there, surrounded by memories of her mother (as well as her unfortunately teenaged rebellious phase) is difficult. But nothing is quite as difficult as seeing Will Baxter check in to Brookbanks for 6 weeks, as a business consultant hired by her mother to help the hotel. 10 years ago, Fern and Will spent a single day together, but it was a day that neither of them ever forgot. And 9 years ago, Fern and Will pledged to meet each other at the lake, but it never happened. Will Fern be able to overcome her grief and her feelings to pull her life together and save Brookbanks?

My thoughts: This is another Canada Reads nominee for 2024, and it was definitely a good one. Overall, I did really like this book, although it didn’t quite have enough for me to rate it a 5/5. 10 years is a really, really long time to hold a torch for someone you’ve only ever spent one day with. And I wasn’t seeing the evidence that that single day “changed Fern’s life.” But I’m glad that Fern and Will’s relationship was the main focus, instead of a love triangle between Will, Fern, and Jaime. (Will is also an A+ love interest; complex but completely unproblematic). I also thought it was definitely a choice for the author to not actually focus very much on running (and saving) the actual resort; it was merely the backdrop for Fern’s relationships and inner struggles, and I’m not mad about it. Readers will know that I am a woman in my 20s just starting to figure my life out, so I resonated with Fern’s struggle to decide how she wanted her life to play out, especially in the face of her youthful (and someone arrogant) decisions.

Rating: 4/5 pencil drawings of you, with a big floppy sun hat and a bag full of books, waiting all alone on the dock

Fire Starters by Jen Storm and Scott B. Henderson

Synopsis: Ron and Ben are two Indigenous teens living on a reserve in Northwestern Ontario. After finding their uncle’s old flare gun, the two meet up with Mike and Jason, two white teenagers, to hang out at the town dump and practice shooting the flare gun. After Ron and Ben head home, Jason (and Mike, somewhat) end up burning down a convenience store to erase any evidence of Jason stealing a pack of cigarettes. When the town investigates the crime, old prejudices come to light. Will the real perpetrator be identified, or will someone else take the fall?

My thoughts: To preface any review that I make, I need to remind myself that this book is for a middle grade audience. Most of the issues I had with this book was that the story was extremely short and simple, which is idea for a book aimed at middle schoolers, so I won’t let that colour my rating. This book is a graphic novel, and some frames had an interesting 3D effect, where key objects (like blood spatters or flare gun shells) appeared 3D, as though they were scattered on top of the page. Some were even used to cover up swearing, which I thought was creative. But because it was a graphic novel, I had a lot of trouble (even more than usual) figuring out which teenagers were which, and that really hampered my understanding of the story. But readers will know that I am notoriously bad at identifying faces, so this is just me problem.

Rating: 3/5 hockey brawls that are a metaphor for strained relationships between the Indigenous and White populations

That's all 10 books I read in January, and my yearly total is now 10 books. See you next month!

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

Reading Roundup: My Crowning Achievement of 2023

December

Welcome to the final Reading Roundup of the year! This month I read 7 e-books from the Toronto Public Library, and 1 free podcast, totaling to 8 books.

Before we begin...

Dishonourable Mentions:

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune

Synopsis: Giovanni Lawson, an inventor android, has built a fairy-tale haven of tree houses deep in the forest. His only companions are a sadistic nurse android, an overly anxious roomba, and his human son Victor. Together they live a live of peace and engineering. But one day while Victor is scavenging at the scrap heaps for spare parts, he encounters a new android, HAL. Will this newcomer force Giovanni to reckon with his hidden past?

My thoughts: I was completely spoiled by The House in the Cerulean Sea (also by TJ Klune), because I set really high expectations for this book that weren't met in the first third. In retrospect, that is my own fault. There was nothing wrong with this book, and if I had kept reading it I think (hope?) that I would have enjoyed it. But unfortunately I just lost track of my copy at work (Readers will know that I my workplace has thousands of books, so forgive me for losing track of a single one now and then, okay), and right now I have too many books on my shelf that I can't spare the time to go and look for it/get back into it.

You May Like this Book if: you don't go in with overly high expectations that can only lead to disappointment

And now...

The Real Reviews

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Synopsis: This classic novel follows the March family: sisters Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy, as well as their Mother, Father, and servant Hannah, as they live their lives in poverty in Civil War-Era America.

My thoughts: I initially started reading this book back in May while I was reading Great or Nothing, which is a Little Women retelling, because I wanted to compare it to the original text. Unfortunately, the original text is so long (and also not that compelling) that three weeks (the loan period for library ebooks) was definitely not long enough to read it. So, I put it aside with the intentions of finishing it. I finally picked it back up in November, but three weeks was still not enough time to finish it, so I started looking around for an audiobook. Unfortunately, all of the audiobooks I found were either not available to check out, or were abridged versions (and if I had listened to an abridged version, I would have had to classify it as an honourable mention instead of a read). So, I actually managed to find a podcast (Phoebe Reads a Mystery) where somebody read the entire book (totally unabridged, no commentary), and that was a lot better for me (especially since I didn’t have a time limit). In terms of the actual book, I’ve actually read it before, so I think reading it a second time meant that most of the emotional impact was dulled for me. I maintain my status as a Beth stan and an Amy hater, although I’m more accepting of Laurie and Amy’s relationship this time around. It was also (and I cannot stress this enough) WAY too long. The podcast I listened to needed 52 episodes and nearly 21 hours in order to cover the whole thing (although I only started listening where I left off with the regular ebooks).

Rating: 2/5 copies of Pilgrim’s Progress that are surely the best Christmas gifts ever

The Sentence by Christina Dalcher

Synopsis: In an alternate reality America, the death penalty has been completely outlawed, barring one major exception: the Remedies Act. The Act states that if a lead prosecutor is so sure of their case that they want to pursue the death penalty, then they themselves will be executed if the defendant was put to death but later found not guilty. It’s supposed to be a deterrent from using the death penalty in all but the most certain, vile cases (in order to minimize it, but also to minimize any wrongful convictions that lead to execution). Justine Callaghan helped to draft the Remedies Act as a law student, and now works as a lead prosecutor in Virginia. She’s only ever sought the death penalty in one case: Jake Milford, for the torture and murder of Caleb Church, a 7-year-old boy. But days after Jake is executed, his widow Emily approaches Justine with a piece of new evidence that could have exonerated Jake. If Emily submits this evidence to the courts or the media, Justine will be executed under the Remedies Act (for asking an innocent person to be executed). Justine must now re-investigate the crime, and come to terms with her own wrongdoing.

My thoughts: I thought this book was pretty interesting and made you think (although I feel like someone much more intellectual than I would probably rip it to shreds). It heavily focused on abolishing the death penalty (not necessarily because killing someone is bad, but because death is the one thing that can never be reversed, and there have already been too many people wrongfully convicted and then executed). I liked the contrast between Justine and Emily, especially because they were both widowed single mothers with sons the same age. I also liked that the end of the book was left as ambiguous; the reader never finds out if Justine will or will not be executed under the remedies act. I think it’s a bold choice by the author, but it didn’t feel unsatisfying (possibly because the book concludes with Justine having played out both scenarios in her head, so we know how her story would have ended).

Rating: 4/5 sets of Star Wars china that you swore you would never, ever buy

The Obsession by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Synopsis: To everyone, Delilah and Logan have a perfect relationship. Even Delilah’s mother and her best friend Aisha agree. But the truth is that they barely know each other. When Logan met Delilah on the first day of school, he instantly fell in love with her (read: became obsessed with her), and started stalking her. Delilah has been struggling with the recent death of her father and her mom’s new abusive boyfriend Brandon (who just happens to be a police officer). After physically, mentally, and financially abusing her mother, Delilah snaps and kills Brandon in a tragic accident. But unbeknownst to her, Logan has been spying on her and has video evidence of her crime. Delilah is now faced with an impossible decision: enter a relationship with her stalker, or go to prison for life. Has she just traded one abuser for another? And when the police investigation into Brandon’s death (as well as into drug activity at Logan and Delilah’s school) starts probing a little too close, will Delilah be able to survive the walls closing in on her?

My thoughts: This book was pretty average: not the worst thriller I’ve ever read, but definitely not the best. I was actually shocked when Delilah killed Brandon; I was so sure that it was going to be a dream/imaginary sequence that I initially skipped past it because I didn’t think it was going to be very important (turns out it was, oops). I also thought the death scene at the end was kind of rushed, because it ended up being the climax and it definitely caught me off guard (and I wasn’t even sure that the death scene ended in a death instead of just injury). I am glad that Delilah was able to figure everything out, although I wouldn’t call her a girlboss (the vibes just were not there). Finally, there was a key moment when Delilah realized that her neighbor also had footage of her killing Brandon, but it never came up again. What was the point of that? And doesn’t it mean that Delilah is still at risk of being arrested, regardless of what happened between her and Logan?

Rating: 3/5 homemade cookies that may or may not be laced with high amounts of MDMA

Herc by Phoenicia Rogerson

Synopsis: We all know the story of Hercules: a famous Greek demigod with legendary strength that completed 12 labors that no other mortal could ever have done. But is that the truth? Phoenicia Rogerson explores Herc’s life from the perspectives of those around him, including his family (stepfather Amphitryon, brother Iphicles, nephew Iolaus), wives (Megara, Omphale, Deianira), lovers (Hylas, Iphitus), and many other acquaintances. There are also a few epistolary chapters that include letters, wills, invitations, and other kinds of paperwork.

My thoughts: The best part of this book is easily the contrast between all of the different POVs. Rogerson does a really good job of capturing different tones as well as different perspectives on Herc himself, which helps to differentiate most (if not all) of the different POVs. My favourite chapter was easily “Eurystheus/Augeas Letters,” which was letters exchanged between King Eurystheus of Tiryns and King Augeas of Elis. Eurystheus was in charge of finding 12 different labours for Herc to complete, and he’s writing to ask if Herc can clean Augeas stables (famously polluted with a 3-foot-tall layer of horse manure). They clearly hate each other and the banter is hilarious. Some choice quotes: “Dear Augeas, King of a region so pointless I’ve already forgotten its name.” and “I suppose I await your response with breath. It is not bated.” However, it was kind of a slog to get through this book, so I can’t give it 5 stars.

Rating: 4/5 faces your mum makes like when you try to eat seven handfuls of olives all at the same time and you don’t know how to keep them in your mouth but you can’t spit them out because then you’d look like a loser who can only eat six handfuls of olives, which anyone can do

The Miniscule Mansion of Myra Malone by Audrey Burges

Synopsis: Myra Malone never moved out of her parents house. After a traumatic car accident at age five that killed her step-grandmother Trixie and gravely injured Myra herself, she’s been unwilling to leave the house. Most of her attention is captured by Trixie’s mansion, a miniature house (not a dollhouse for dolls) with exquisitely designed furniture and furnishings. Now at age 34, she blogs about the mansion and has become a viral sensation. Across the country, Rutherford Alexander Rakes III (aka Alex) has been recalled from China in order to help out with the family furniture business. He moves back into the family home (the estate that his father has always hated for some reason), and starts working at the store, only to run into customers that are obsessed with the furniture in the Miniscule Mansion, and are desperate to buy some life-sized versions for their own homes. To Alex’s shock, the mansion is an exact replica of his family’s home.

My thoughts: Readers will know that I LOVE miniatures, so I had high hopes coming into this book. However, I was left pretty disappointed. It had very little to do with miniatures, and the parts that did mainly focused on interior design, which I am also not particularly interested in. As a whole, it was more about magic, trauma, and family. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I just didn’t find it to be especially compelling. There were times that Trixie’s storyline was the only thing keeping me going, even though I didn’t find that to be particularly interesting either.

Rating: 2/5 rooms that magically appear and disappear

You Should Smile More by Anastasia Ryan

Synopsis: Vanessa Blair hates her telemarketing job. Telemarketing itself isn’t really the issue, it’s more that her boss Xavier is crazy. As in, talks to himself (and his cat that he stole from his ex-wife) and walks barefoot around the office, crazy. She especially hates all of the after-hours events that Xavier forces them to organize and attend in the name of company unity. But when she gets fired, it still stings a little. Especially because she wasn’t fired for incompetence; Vanessa was actually great at her job. She was fired because Xavier “didn’t like her face”. To cope, Vanessa and her friends Jane Delaney (was also fired) and Trisha Lam (not fired but put on humiliating probation) get plastered, but wake up to find that Trisha has begun to execute their drunken 12-step plan to get revenge on Xavier. With no other choice, Vanessa and her friends (and her mom and her mom’s friends) begin their ad-hoc investigation into Xavier and the company. Will they be ready for what they find?

My Thoughts: I think this is a case where the title of the book doesn’t really match the contents. For a book called “You Should Smile More” about someone who got fired because of her resting bitch face, I thought I’d be reading about feminism in the 21st century and the hidden expectations of emotional labour in the workforce. Instead, I got something that was incredibly goofy and lacking substance. I cannot understate how goofy this book was. Readers will know that I am a very silly person and I love silly things, but this book felt immature. A lot of the characters felt like caricatures, and any depth that they did have was revealed too late to make a real difference in my perception of them. I think Anastasia Ryan is a debut author, so I hope that she is able to strike a better balance between silly and substance in her next book (Not Bad for a Girl) due to be released in 2024.

Rating: 3/5 foster kittens named unum, duo, tria, quattuor, and quinque

Dear Child by Romy Hausmann

Synopsis: 13 years ago, Lena Beck, a 23-year old German college student, went missing. Now, her parents have been called to a hospital near the Austrian border; there’s a woman there who matches Lena’s description, found after a car accident in a remote forest. But when Matthais and Karin arrive, they are devastated to find that the woman in the hospital is not Lena (although the two bear a striking resemblance). However, a 13-year-old child named Hannah recovered at the scene looks EXACTLY like Lena did, and appears to be Lena’s daughter. What really happened to Lena? What does Hannah know that she’s not telling? Where is Hannah’s father? And how will Jasmin (the woman in the hospital bed) cope with her ordeal?

My thoughts: this felt like a pretty standard German thriller novel (I’ve read a couple in my day). I initially put it on hold because I saw that Netflix was making a show based on the novel, although I have no intention of watching it because the book was just okay and the mini-series completely changes the ending, so I don’t want to subject myself to that. I don’t really have any specific complaints about the book, just that I didn’t like it that much. The only major issue I had was Hannah. I had a really hard time meshing her character’s thoughts and actions with a 13-year-old (I had initially guessed she was about 7 or 8). I also didn’t like that the author used Hannah’s Asperger’s as a gotcha (ie she’s just autistic, she’s not a psychopath (or is she)). I also didn’t really get Hannah and the real Lena’s travels: did they actually go to her grandfather’s garden and meet her grandfather? Because if they had it would have been a huge plot hole (why didn’t her grandfather rescue them).

Rating: 2/5 snowglobes missing exactly one shard of glass

Those Who Run in the Sky by Aviaq Johnston

Synopsis: Pitu is only a teenager in his Inuit tribe, but already he’s been nicknamed the Great Hunter. He is good at hunting, but his destiny is much greater than that: a tribal elder believes that Pitu will be the next shaman. It’s a position that comes with a lot of power, but also a price. After Pitu becomes lost and isolated while on a hunting trip, completely separated from his tools and sled dogs, he will face many challenges. Will he live to embrace his destiny?

My thoughts: This was definitely giving Inuit Percy Jackson, in that it was a middle grade adventure novel grounded in folklore, about a teenage boy that goes on a great journey in order to ultimately embrace his destiny. So I thought it was a pretty solid novel, and a really cool look into Inuit culture and folklore. There is a sequel, but unfortunately the characters just didn’t grab me enough to want to go out of my way to read it, so I will probably just leave it.

Rating: 3/5 childhood sweethearts that married someone else because everyone thought that you were dead

And finally...

The Bonus Bracelet of the Month

... will be on the cafe

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

November

This month I read 3 books and 6 ebooks from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 9 books.

Before we begin,

Dishonorable Mentions

The Cloisters by Katy Hays

Synopsis: Ann Stilwell has an internship lined up at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Given that she’s just a grad student (studying renaissance-era tarot cards) from a small liberal arts college in Washington state, it’s the best that she could hope for. But when she arrives in New York, the Met has cancelled her contract. Her only hope is to take an internship at the mysterious Cloisters department at the Met. But will it be worth it?

My thoughts: This book was giving a cross between If We Were Villans by M L Rio and the Atlas Series by Olivie Blake. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I didn’t really want to read it.

You may like this book if: you’re a dark academia and astrology girly

And now,

The Real Reviews

Just Last Night by Mhairi McFarlane

Synopsis: Eve, Susie, Ed, and Justin have been best friends since high school. Now in their 30s, their bonds are closer than ever, even though life has worked out better for some than for others. But after a night out, Eve finds out that Susie was struck by a car and killed, shattering her world. Eve, Ed, and Justin must band together in order to survive the grief that threatens to consume them. Unfortunately, Eve must also cope with discovering some of Susie’s secrets. And how will the gang manage when Finn, Susie’s estranged brother, whom she had no lover for, comes to town for the funeral?

My thoughts: My main issue with this book is with the central conflict: Eve is mad at Susie for sleeping with Ed, because Eve has had a crush on Ed for many years. Truly, I have never really understood this style of conflict where Friend A is mad at Friend B for asking out Friend A’s Crush. To me, I think that it infantilizes the Crush and takes away their autonomy. If Crush doesn’t like Friend A back, then they were never going to be in a relationship! And if Crush likes Friend B (presuming that Friend B likes them back), why shouldn’t Friend B be allowed to date Crush? I understand that in a situation like this, Friend A is probably all emotions and no logic, but still. If Crush was actually Friend A’s ex, then I would feel differently (especially if things ended badly or Crush was toxic, problematic, or abusive), but I feel like that is rarely the situation. In the book, Ed and Eve admitted they had feelings for each other at the end of high school but by the time it was revealed, Ed was already dating someone else, so Ed and Eve’s “relationship” never actually existed. Plus, Eve was actually dating someone else at the time that Susie slept with Ed, so she has even less “right” to Ed than usual. However, I kind of liked the rest of the book. I thought it was a really moving picture of what grief feels like. I also really liked that Eve and Finn’s relationship didn’t develop until the very end of the book; I was worried that Eve was going to immediately start dating Finn and start hating the rest of her friends. Instead, Finn acted more as a therapist (his job), and helped Eve to process her emotions and her grief; plus she was able to do all fo the climactic confrontations without his help, which I also appreciated.

Rating: 4/5 journalists that exclusively cover funky little events happening in your local area (Readers will know that I LIVE for those events)

The First Bright Thing by J. R. Dawson

Synopsis: During the battles of World War I, the first Sparks were discovered: ordinary people that had been gifted with extraordinary powers (like healing, teleportation, and precognition). Edward and Ruth used their sparks to escape the perils of war and live freely. For a while. Years later, Ruth is now the Ringmaster (aka Rin) of Windy van Hooten’s Circus of the Fantasticals. It’s a safe space for outsiders of all kind, including many Sparks. And while Rin enjoys running the circus, she feels compelled to do more with her powers; specifically trying to end WWII before it even begins. It’s an impossible task, but Rin is killing herself trying to achieve it. Her wife Odette and best friend Mauve are begging her to let go of her fears for the future and live with them in the present. But when her past catches up to her, will Rin be able to protect what matters most?

My thoughts: This was an extremely touching and accurate depiction of what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship. I thought that Edward’s spark to coerce people was a great metaphor for a charismatic abuser. Unfortunately, the downside of portraying an abusive relationship and its lasting effects is that it’s that you as the reader end up taking some psychic damage, which made the whole thing a lot less enjoyable for me (especially because I binge-read the whole thing in one night). I also didn’t really like the ending, where Jo was fixated on showing the circus’s audience the future atomic bomb drops on Japan, and I feel like I didn’t really get it. So it was not my favorite.

Rating: 2/5 contracts that satisfy child labour laws that have not yet been invented

The Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston

Synopsis: The world has been grey for Clementine ever since her aunt Analea passed away 6 months ago. To cope, she’s thrown herself even more into her work as a book publicist than usual, only making time for her married lesbian friends Drew and Fiona (who both work at Strauss & Adder with her, so most of their hang-outs still revolve around work). After breaking up with a lack-luster boyfriend and being kicked out of her apartment due to rising rent, she’s forced to move in alone into her aunt’s old apartment, which is filled with too many happy-turned-painful memories of her and her aunt. But the apartment still has some magic left in it: when you really need it, the apartment will take you back exactly 7 years into the past, in order to meet the person who was living there 7 years ago. 7 years ago, Clementine and Analea were backpacking across Europe, and a young man named Iwan was subletting the apartment for the summer. Clementine falls fast and hard for the Iwan of 7 years ago, a dishwasher with dreams of becoming and chef and opening his own restaurant. But Analea’s one rule was to never fall in love at the apartment; back in the day the apartment took her back 7 years to meet Vera, and although their love was intense, they were never able to work in the present day. Will Clementine be able to protect her heart, or is she doomed to a once-in-a-lifetime romance that she’ll never be able to get over.

My thoughts: This book was giving “Book Lovers” by Emily Henry in the best way, with a bit more contemplation and a bit less romance. It was clear that Clementine idolized her aunt, and although Analea may not have been right about every single thing, Clementine was still able to reflect on all the best parts of their relationship. Too often, I find that books go too far in the other direction and demonize the treasured friend/family member, or force a falling out (consider Nora and Libby’s falling out in Book Lovers). I also liked that the real enemy was capitalism; Clementine was able to quit her workaholic job and get back in to her hobbies (mainly painting pictures on the pages of travel guides, which I thought was pretty unique). Iwan also became a bit less of a workaholic, although ideally he would have taken it a bit farther to actually relax for once. Although this book was great, it did have a few small issues that would warrant a 4/5 rating. I felt that the author didn’t really commit to the obstacle preventing Clementine and Iwan from being together in the present day (magic vs professional boundaries in the workplace). I also thought it was a bit unbalanced that Clementine was struggling to reconcile the past Iwan vs the present Iwan, but both Iwans only interacted with present Clementine, so he didn’t have the same issue. (But upon reflection, I think this was probably for the best). However, the absolute devastation I felt after finishing the book, knowing that I could no longer read it, was crushing, so it’s been bumped up to a 5/5.

Rating: 5/5 couples of pigeons that will fly into your living room if you ever open the window, lovingly named Mother and Fucker

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

Synopsis: This graphic memoir chronicles Maia’s childhood and young adulthood as e discover eir identity as a non-binary and asexual.

My thoughts: I thought this book was an interesting and easy read, so I would definitely recommend it to someone who wants to read more about about gender identity. I also think that a graphic novel was a great choice for the content, not just because Maia is a noted cartoonist. To me, it felt like the graphics gave it a more whimsical feeling, and allowed them to express eir thoughts more dynamically through diagrams, cutaways, and fantastical scenarios. The only drawback about this format was that it illustrated every single scene in the book (including scenes about genitalia, sexual attraction, and masturbation). I want to stress to readers that none of these illustrations were actually graphic (pun intended), and that I would give the majority of the book a PG rating. Readers will know that I have hypophantasia, and never visualize things in my head as I read them, so I think the difference between a novel and a graphic novel was probably more shocking to me. In terms of the content of the book itself, the thing that struck me the most was that Maia seemed to really struggle to understand the world around em, including but not limited to gender norms, sexual desire, and romantic relationships. I wonder how much of this can be attributed to Maia’s gender identity and sexuality compared to other possible factors like being homeschooled, and (hypothetically) autism. It’s worth noting that Maia’s younger sister Phoebe (a cis lesbian) seemed to have a much better understanding of the world around her, and primarily gave guidance to Maia instead of the other way around.

Rating: 3/5 homemade “Johnny Weir, professional figure skater” halloween costumes

Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams

Synopsis: Annie Walker is living her parent’s dream: she owns her own flower shop in her home town of Rome, Kentucky; she gets along with all of her siblings; and the whole town views her as a sweet (if naive) younger sister. The only thing she doesn’t have is a husband. So, Annie decides to go on her first date in years with the cute bank teller. Except, it ends disaster when her date thinks she’s so boring that he fakes and emergency just to leave early. Will Griffin is everything that Annie is not: exciting, adventurous, tattooed, and dangerous. He’s working as a bodyguard (sorry, Executive Protection Agent) in order to protect Annie’s future sister-in-law Amelia (aka famous pop star Rae Rose). After growing up witnessing his parents toxic and loveless marriage, Will has deep commitment issues, and even freaks out when he hears that his brother Ethan is about to get engaged. Amelia decides that what Annie and Will most need is each other: she arranges for Will to give Annie “dating lessons.” As the sparks fly, will two opposite strangers learn to fall for each other?

My thoughts: This was a good book, but it was undeniably a romance book. And by that, I mean that the romantic subplot was basically the entire plot, and almost every scene or interaction was viewed through the lens of a romance novel. I’m not saying that this book was a Harlequin-tier pulp romance (because it wasn’t), but I bring it up because it was such a drastic difference from the book I read right before this: The Seven Year Slip. While Annie did have a bit of a journey of self confidence, The Seven Year Slip had a lot more depth, and Clementine’s life was the central focus, instead of her romance with Iwan.

Rating: 3/5 pieces of siding that you ripped off the side of house just to create a distraction

Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Synopsis: Vera Wang’s World Famous Tea Shoppe is Vera Wong’s pride and joy (she named it after Vera Wang in the hopes of drumming up more publicity). But business has slowed down over the years, and now Vera only gets one customer a day. Her husband passed years ago, and her son Tillbert barely even talks to her. Then one day, Vera comes downstairs to find a dead man lying on the floor of her tea shop. How exciting! The police don’t seem to care all that much, so Vera takes it upon herself to investigate the crime, assisted by Rikki (allegedly a Buzzfeed journalist), Sana (allegedly a podcaster), Julia, the dead man’s wife, and Oliver, the dead man’s twin brother. What could go wrong?

My thoughts: Initially I was a bit weary of this book because the tone that was being used to describe Vera was a bit too mocking. Yes I understand that this is supposed to be a critique about Asian mothers and how overbearing they are, but I went in to this book expecting to like them and I thought it was a bit mean-spirited. However, I was able to push through and I’m really glad I did. Vera really did come through and put together her own found family, which was so heartwarming. Honestly the actual murder investigation was more a silly little thing that they were doing as a way to pass the time, instead of being the driving force of the book, which I appreciated. I also thought that the other characters (Rikki, Sana, Oliver, and Julia) in the family were compelling, and it was so nice watching them all pick up the pieces of their lives and start over happily (tbh it was almost too easy, but it was really nice to see all the same). I also appreciated that the dead guy was awful, so it was kind of good that he died.

Rating: 4/5 fresh lunches that Vera spent all morning cooking, so it would be incredibly rude to not let her in and answer her questions about your dead husband.

The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare

Synopsis: Baptista Minola, a wealthy Italian, has two daughters: the youngest is lovely Bianca, courted by many, but the oldest is bitter Katherine, who hates everyone. Eligible bachelors across Padua are disappointed, for Baptista will not allow Bianca to marry until Katherine is married. Until one day, when Petruchio comes to town, and declares that he will make Katherine his wife. While he attempts to tame the eponymous shrew, the other men are still trying to secretly woo Bianca. But none go as far as Lucentio, who takes up a false identity as Bianca’s tutor Cambio, while having his servant Tranio pretending to be him (Lucentio) in order to keep up appearances.

My Thoughts: I had low expectations going into this. I would say that I’m pretty neutral on Shakespeare, I don’t hate him but I don’t love him. Most of the plays that I’ve read by him were the ones we studied in school, and were either histories or dramas (MacBeth, Julius Caesar, Hamlet, etc). I think this is the first Shakespearean comedy that I read, and low key it kinda slapped? There was a lot of banter, plus a lot of gaslighting and gatekeeping, but tragically no girlbossing, and that soured it for me. Katherine was basically forced into an abusive marriage in order to make her more palatable to men, which was not cool. I also was disappointed that Petruchio forced Katherine to marry him about halfway into the play; I assumed that most of the play would focus on Petruchio winning over Katherine by getting her to fall in love with him.

Rating: 3/5 wild Kates, conformable Kates, and household Kates

The Chandler Legacies by Abdi Nazemian

Synopsis: Chander Academy is one of the most exclusive private schools in the United States; it’s full of the children of politicians, CEOs, and celebrities. There are a lot of extracurriculars for students, but the most sought-after one is called The Circle. Every year, Professor Douglas picks a handful of students to join her exclusive writing seminar, and this year she’s picked five. Beth Kramer, who resents her status as a “townie” and just desperately wants to fit in. Sarah Brunson, who is tired of taking care of her mother and raising her younger sister. Amanda Priya Spencer, aka Spence, who is the privileged daughter of a model and a legendary alumni, but is being mentored by the shadiest teacher on campus. Freddie Bello, a champion pole vaulter who isn’t sure if he wants to continue with the sport he used to love. And Ramin Golafshar, who fled Iran because he was gay. Will these five students bond? Or will their secrets sink them?

My Thoughts: Don’t hate me, but I just didn’t really like this book. I’m not saying that it was a bad book, but it just wasn’t for me. (Yes, I am an adult, and yes, this book is about highschoolers, but it is so highly recommended that I just thought I was going to like it anyway). I definitely think that this book was written by the author for his own catharsis (especially considering it was semi-autobiographical, had a self-insert character, and focused a lot on the act of writing), which is totally fine, but it probably why I didn’t really get into it. I also felt like the pacing of the book was kind of rushed, especially towards the climax at the end. (It didn’t help that the ebook had no demarcators, so different scenes in the same chapter weren’t separated in any way, making them run together). Plus, I was kind of disappointed that the author spent so much time on the straight-passing relationship that fizzled out at the end, instead of the queer relationship that were married by the time of the epilogue.

Rating: 2/5 quotes from “Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite” by The Beatles that the characters saying to each other and I don’t understand why

Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q Sutanto

Synopsis: Meddy is the last remaining daughter in the Chan family (her cousins aren’t dead, but they’ve all moved far away from Southern California in order to get away from their overbearing mothers/aunts). But Meddy isn’t brave enough to leave, so she’s stuck with her family: Big Aunt, Second Aunt, Third Aunt (aka her mother), and Fourth Aunt. Together, they have a wedding business, meaning that they spend even more of their time together. It’s not a bad life, but Meddy is getting a bit claustrophobic (not to mention her inability to leave ruined her best relationship with her college boyfriend Nathan, one that she hasn’t been able to get over even years later). Her mother is determined to set her up with someone else, and creates a fake tinder profile for Meddy. But her date ends disastrously, and Meddy is left with a dead body, and no one to turn to except for her mother and aunties. Will the Chans be able to cover up Meddy’s crime and cater the biggest wedding of the year?

My thoughts: This book was a kooky dark comedy (more emphasis on comedy than on dark) and was pretty delightful to read. I really liked how the author portrayed her own ethnic background (Chinese immigrants that came to the United States after initially settling in Indonesia), and I thought it was a wonderful backdrop for a very interesting (and comedic) family dynamic between Meddy’s aunts and mother. I also really appreciated that Nathan (the main love interest) was never ever problematic, loved Meddy exactly for who she was, and took her back with open arms and zero resentment. Other male love interests: take notes.

Rating: 4/5 business slogans that just tickle me (Don’t leave your wedding to chance! Leave it to the Chans!)

And finally,

The Bonus Bracelet of the Month

... will be posted to the cafe.

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

October

This month I read 2 audiobooks, 2 ebooks, and 2 print books from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 6 books.

Before we begin,

Dishonourable Mentions

Marriage, A History by Stephanie Coontz

Synopsis: The author discusses the history of marriage (and the idea of marrying for love) from the beginning of human civilization, all the way to the 20th century.

My thoughts: This book is pretty long, and since I got it on ebook from the library, I was going to have to read an entire chapter per day if I wanted to finish it. So I just didn’t. In my defense, I did read the first quarter, and the entire thesis across several chapters was that marriage unions were usually made to build relationships between different family groups, not for love. You need community in order to survive, and marrying your daughter to their son will grow your community. I get it. So I don’t feel that bad about not finishing it.

You may like this book if: you want to do me a solid and tell me if I was right about this book.

The Body Below by Daniel Hecht

Synopsis: Conn Whitman’s only remaining vice is his long swims in various bodies of water all around Vermont. It’s the only way he can really clear his head. During one of his swims, he crashes into a large object partially submerged in the water, and although it spooks him, he doesn’t report it to the police. It turns out that object was the body of Conn’s estranged sister Trudy, who went missing days ago. As the police investigation into Trudy’s death continues, Conn (a journalist by trade) starts his own parallel investigation, determined to get to the bottom of what really happened.

My thoughts: Readers will know that I often hate it when people who are not the police try to solve mysteries, especially when they do it badly or there are no other endearing characteristics. Generally I didn’t find this book to be interesting, and because it’s 500 pages long, I wasn’t about to sit through it just for the sake of finishing it. The eponymous body on the front cover also looks like one of those 3-D ultrasound pictures people get of their developing fetuses, which certainly doesn’t help the book be endearing.

You may like this book if: you like true crime but in a boring way

And now,

The Real Reviews

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

Synopsis: Frances is a romance writer who was recently defrauded by an internet romance scam. Carmel is a newly divorced mum of four little girls. Tony is a retired Aussie Rules Football star who doesn’t see his adult children much. Ben and Jessica are a young married couple who recently won the lottery, and are now struggling in their marriage. The Marconi family (Parents Napoleon and Heather, and daughter Zoe) are still struggling three years after their son Zach committed suicide. And Lars is just a family lawyer that enjoys health retreats. These nine perfect strangers have congregated at Tranquillim House, a historic house in the Australian bush country, in order to be refreshed, rejuvenated, and transformed. Tranquillum House owner Masha takes the business of personal transformation very seriously. Secretly, she’s a huge advocate of psychedelic therapy and microdosing LSD, although none of the guests know that. Will the nine strangers come out the other side of their experience with a new lease on life? WIll they come out at all?

My thoughts: This book is possibly the greatest piece of meta-fiction ever, in that the first half was completely boring, but once the characters started taking LSD, it became way more compelling. The actual trips themselves were fun, and then the plot sped way up, and the events that took place after the trips were a lot more interesting. It was also more interesting to watch Masha’s descent into obsession, and to see the characters make a lot of breakthroughs, instead of just listen to everyone complain about their lives all the time. I think the beginning of the book also felt more boring because I used an audiobook for the first three quarters, and the narrator was good but very slow and plodding. Thankfully, the audiobook glitched and refused to play certain chapters (I’ve never had that before??) and a paper copy of the book was delivered basically into my arms, so the last quarter that I read only took me 45 minutes, instead of a projected 3 hours.

Rating: 3/5 human pyramids that you really should have formed instead of trying to execute a ridiculous jump straight out of Aussie Rules Football

The Last Devil to Die (Thursday Murder Club #4) by Richard Osman

Synopsis: The Thursday Murder Club have another mystery to solve, but this one hits a bit closer to home than usual. Kuldesh Singh, noted antiques dealer and beloved friend of Stephen and Elizabeth’s has been found shot dead in his car. The one thing not found at the scene was a small box containing $100,000 of cocaine. This has greatly upset some of the local cocaine dealers, as well as members of the National Crime Agency, who have come all the way from London to take over the case, forcing Chris and Donna to investigate some local horse thefts. On a more somber note, Stephen’s struggles with dementia continue to worsen, leaving Elizabeth in a hellish private situation, while Joyce, Ron, and Ibrahim attempt to step up. Will they find the cocaine and avenge Kudesh’s death?

My thoughts: Again, Osman absolutely knocks it out of the part with another fantastic book. I really liked that the book’s own synopsis mentioned that the club would have to make their way through heartbreak, because the aforementioned heartbreak was actually grief and not just a break-up or something. It’s not fully divested from romantic love, but it’s another kind of emotion that should get explored more. I will warn potential readers that I had tears streaming down my face during my lunch break, so don’t read this while at work. Honestly, every part of this book was good. The characters are all iconic, the writing style is chef’s kiss. I would actually consider paying $40 (the price for a new copy at Indigo) for it, which should tell you all you need to know. Osman has said that he’s taking a break from the Thursday Murder Club in order to write about a Father-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law detective team, hopefully to be released sometime next year, which I will be forced to read out of loyalty.

Rating: 5/5 little orange foxes with white tips on their ears named Snowy

Just Another Missing Person by Gillian McAllister

Synopsis: 1 year ago, Detective Julia Day failed at her job. A young woman, Sadie, went missing and Julia failed to find her because she was too wrapped up with her own daughter, Genevieve. A local criminal attempted to rob Genevieve at gunpoint, and she accidentally stabbed him in self defense, leading to his death. Julia has been so occupied with covering up the crime and protecting her daughter that it has affected her marriage and her job. 1 year later, things are finally starting to get back to normal when a different young woman, Olivia, is also reported missing. But when Julia starts investigating the case, a stranger threatens her: plant evidence and convict a local boy of Olivia’s murder, or else he’ll reveal Genevive’s crime to the public. Will Julia be able to stay true to her convictions and redeem herself?

My thoughts: I think this book made really good use of the second person, by using it to mix up different timelines and obscure who the narrator was actually talking to. The characters were not particularly noteworthy, but the plot was fine up until the last few twists. I thought it was tired and overdone, and although there was technically some foreshadowing I found it to be a bit abrupt (as if the author just gave up and used a trope to assign the final killer). I also thought it was strange that the main character completely missed the book’s climax; she only briefly confronted the killer before she was locked in the trunk of her car, and the killer ended up being defeated by a minor character. That minor character also immediately released the protagonist, so it wasn’t like there was a dramatic search for her or anything.

Rating: 3/5 work husbands who can’t say no to a side hustle

The Dresden Files

Death Masks (Dresden Files #5) by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: Harry Dresden has been hired to do his most important task ever: find the missing Shroud of Turin. Yes, the Shroud of Turin that Jesus himself used. It was stolen from Italy by a group of European Thieves known as the Church Mice, and is thought to be in Chicago. Unfortunately this has come at a very busy time. The War between the Red Court of Vampires and the White Council of Wizards is still ongoing, and the wizards are taking heavy losses. Paolo Ortega, a Duke of the Red Court and a very powerful vampire, has challenged Harry to a duel: if Harry wins, the Red Court will surrender and end the war, but it’s a duel to the death, and if Harry loses he will die. Ortega has also causally mentioned that he’ll kill all of Harry’s friends if he doesn’t agree to participate in the duel. Plus, Karrin Murphy of the Chicago PD needs Harry’s help with an unusual corpse: a man who apparently died from every disease all at once. And, Susan (Harry’s ex-girlfriend turned vampire) is back in town. Will Harry be able to save his friends, recover the shroud, end the war, and save his girlfriend? (No.)

3/5 epic battles at Wrigley Field

Blood Rites (Dresden Files #6) by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: Harry Dresden doesn’t have a lot of friends, and the few he has have done him many favours over the years. So when Thomas Raith, a White Court vampire who has helped out Harry a few times, asks for a favour, Harry of course agrees to help him out. Thomas’s friend Arturo Genosa is a film producer whose production assistants keep being killed in mysterious and unlikely ways (Eg. getting hit by a car while waterskiiing). Thomas is worried that someone is trying to kill Arturo, and Harry agrees to go undercover on the set in order to find the killer and protect Arturo. At the same time, Harry is being hunted by Black Court Vampires, whose superior strength, speed, and power make them formidable enemies. In order to protect himself, Harry is forced to go on the offense and put together a strike team that will destroy the vampires, their leader Mavra, and rescue a group of children that they have taken hostage.

3/5 Renfields: humans who have been so deeply mind controlled by Black Court Vampires that their psyches have been broken, turning them into insane killing machines

My thoughts: The saga of me trying to read through all of the Dresden Files continues. To be honest, the books are starting to blend together at this point, especially because each book has so many different plot threads that are going on at the same time. I didn’t even fit all of them into my synopses because it would have been too confusing. Jim Butcher is also still extremely horny, to the point where it is making me uncomfortable. In Death Masks, Harry attends a party undercover with Susan. Even though they aren’t together, Harry is deeply in love with and attracted to her. So why, when they are literally holding hands, does he oogle another woman at the party (who is literally working as a bodyguard for one of Harry’s enemies)?? And in Blood Rites, Arturo Genosa turns out to be an erotic film producer, so Harry is constantly on set with (and oogling) a bunch of porn stars. Are men okay??

Baseballissimo: My Summer in the Italian Minor Leagues by Dave Bidini

Synopsis: This is the true account of how Dave Bidini spent the summer of 2002: living in Italy and reporting on the Nettuno Peones, a minor league Italian baseball team. Nettuno is a small town in the Lazio region of central Italy, just south of Rome. In WWII, it was an important HQ for the Allied operations in the Italian theater. The American soldiers played baseball with each other during their time off, and introduced it to the local Nettunesi, making Nettuno the birthplace of Italian baseball. Dave, born in Toronto to Italian-Canadian parents, grew up a staunch Blue Jays fan. He later became a newspaper columnist and musician in two bands (the Rheostatics and the Bidiniband). In the book, Dave chronicles the Peone’s 2002 season, detailing each game and most practices, interspersed with his own memories of watching baseball.

My thoughts: This book rates 3/5 for content, but 5/5 for pure vibes. A Canadian born in Toronto with Italian heritage that likes the Blue Jays? Readers will know that’s literally me! Apparently, he’s the only person to have ever been nominated for (what I consider to be) the Canadian EGOT (Gemini (TV), Juno (Music), Genie (Film), and Canada Reads (Books)), which is hilarious if true. Dave clearly cares A LOT about baseball, which is nice to see, but as a more casual and recent fan most of it went over my head. However, the wacky stories of him and his young family living in Italy for the summer and hanging out with all the players were so perfect. I think the choice to follow the Peones instead of Nettuno’s major league team was a great one: they didn’t have a lot of money or a ton of skill, but they had A LOT of heart. He was also able to focus more on the people and the culture instead of getting caught up in statistics and jargon. He gave every Peone’s player a nickname (including The Emperor, Solid Gold, Fab Julie, and Skunk Bravo, to name a few), attended every practice and game, and practically lived with the head coach Pietro. I also really appreciated that many of his conversations were sprinkled with Italian words (the vibes! impeccable).

Rating: 4/5 Italian-Canadians living the dream

And finally,

The bracelet of the month will be posted to the cafe.

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

Reading Roundup: I'll take a shot of wit, extra dry, please

September

This month I read 4 ebooks, 2 e-audiobooks, and 1 book from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 7 books.

Honourable Mentions

My Lady's Choosing: An Interactive Romance Novel by Kitty Curran and Larissa Zageris

Synopsis: This is a choose your own adventure novel, so there isn't a single narrative that I can recount for you. Instead, I'll introduce the primary love interests, and then go into more detail about the paths that I did end up choosing. It all starts with you, a pretty but penniless lady's maid in Victorian England. Your mistress is old, bitter, and mean, so you are desperate to get out of her employ and start a new adventure. You attend a ball with your mistress, and meet your friend Lady Evangeline, a wealthy adventurer who is looking for her own lady's maid to accompany her to Egypt for an archeological expedition. She introduces you to two eligible bachelors at the ball. One is Sir Benedict Granville, the heir apparent to a vast fortune (although that might not be true if Sir Rafe Caddington has anything to do with it) who is full of banter. The other is Captain Angus MacTaggart, a retired Scottish veteran that adores orphaned children and animals alike. Elsewhere is Lady Evangeline's cousin Lord Garraway Craven, who broods about all day on an isolated manor deep in the moors. [I personally read through all of the Lady Evangeline and Sir Benedict storylines]. If those aren't your vibe, I also skimmed through every ending and can exclusively reveal that there are storylines involving vampires, werewolves, ghosts, spies, con artists, Ocean's 8-style heist teams, and many more.

My thoughts: When they said this was an interactive romance novel, they were not kidding. Almost every single pathway (as well as most of the endings) involve a graphic romance scene, and you are able to romance basically every secondary character that is of age. So I do applaud the authors for covering their bases that way. Unfortunately, I do have some complaints. Because YOU are the protagonist, it felt super uncomfortable when a character romances your character without YOUR consent. I also always forget that the nature of choose your own adventure stories means that each individual storyline develops at a lightning pace, so I definitely felt like there were some parts that were rushed (YOU cannot be the love of his life, you literally just met him), but I don't know if I can fault the authors for that. I also don't know if I can fault them for another issue I had: sometimes when I was flipping to the next page of my storyline (classically, CYOA makes you flip to pages out of order), I wasn't sure that this was actually the correct next page because the story didn't really pick up where we left off. Instead it just progressed to the next scene. I figure that this is because multiple pathways can lead to the same storyline, but it really threw me off in several places.

You may like this book if: You are a fan of the Monster Prom franchise.

And now,

The Real Reviews

The Dangerous Damsels Series

Two hundred years ago, Beryl Black (and her good for nothing husband) were shipwrecked on a desert island, where she found a small glass bottle with a valuable message: a Latin incantation that can make anything fly. In the years since, many different groups of women (and some men) have adapted the incantation to suit their needs, and the result is a rollicking Victorian England full of pirates, witches, and spies.

The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels (Book #1) by India Holton

Synopsis: In an alternate Victorian England, pirates are a dime a dozen. But they don’t sail ships; they use the incantation to fly battlehouses. Cecilia Bassingthwaite is one such pirate, and she’s finally old enough (at 19) to warrant her own assassination attempt (egads, how exciting!) from one of the members of the Wisteria Society (a social group for female pirates). She easily thwarts a couple of attempts, but unfortunately there are much more serious threats. Namely, Captain Patrick Morvath: a crazed pirate and descendant of Lord Byron, his obsession with the Wisteria Society has grown homicidal, and he intends to capture and destroy them. He also happens to be Cecilia’s estranged father. Cecilia and her would-be Italian assassin Eduardo de Luca (aka Teddy Luxe, a suave fencing instructor, aka Captain Ned Lightbourne, a pirate employed both by Her Majesty’s Army and Captain Patrick Morvath) are forced to partner up in order to rescue the Wisteria Society (and if they fall in love along the way, all the better).

My thoughts: I actually had a tough time in nailing down the plot while writing the above synopsis. It’s definitely the most complex of the series, especially when you consider all of the history between Morvath, Ned, Cecilia, and Cecilia’s late mother Cilla (but in a good way, considering that the others are more about taking a journey to find a MacGuffin). I fell in love with the sarcastic, dry, witty writing style (Readers will know that it’s been my favourite as of late), and I thought that Cecilia and Ned made for very charming love interests. The series definitely peaks here, possibly because this is the first time that the author uses her formula (a repressed Victorian lady that uses magic goes on a scandalous journey and falls in love with the male protagonist), but the others are still very readable. The only complaint I really had was that Miss Darlington, who is Cecilia’s aunt, legal guardian, and feared pirate herself, was one of the people that was most oppressing Cecilia, right up until the end when she did a complete 180 and told Cecilia to escape the politicking and flee with her true love. It was just so out of character, and if she (as an obstacle) was going to be easily removed at the end, then what was the point of her in the first place?

Rating: 5/5 hypochondriac aunts who are convinced that you will contract the Great Peril (freckles) if you don’t mind the sun on your face

The League of Gentlewoman Witches (Book #2) by India Holton

Synopsis: Charlotte Pettifer is a witch (although you’d never hear her admit that in public, because witchery is technically still a crime in England), a woman who can use Beryl Black’s incantation to make things (and people) fly. She’s also bordering on spinsterhood at the ripe old age of 21. After a chance encounter with pirate Alex O’Riley (good friend of Ned Lightbourne) in the street, and an incident with a flying bicycle, Alex and Charlotte become reluctant allies in order to track down Beryl Black’s amulet. (It’s said to give the holder immense power. So naturally, when it’s revealed to be on display at the British Museum, it immediately becomes the most coveted piece of jewelry for any respectable pirate or witch.) Will they be able to retrieve the amulet? Or will these star crossed lovers be forced to part?

My thoughts: I really liked this book, but it did have some flaws. Firstly, it just didn’t feel as witty as the first book (although that may have been because I had it in audiobook format, and maybe the jokes just didn’t translate as well). Up until the last quarter of the book, Charlotte would just not stop complaining about Alex, and it was so so annoying. Yes, she was self-aware enough admit that the complaining was an intentional strategy, and yes this is Victorian England, but it was still soooo annoying (and unfeminist). I also didn’t like that Charlotte had a one-sided fake feud with Cecilia; I know that it was supposed to demonstrate that it takes strength and vulnerability to form female friendships, and that she overcame her feud, but it was still annoying. Still, the dry wit of the writing and the overall content was still quite good.

Rating: 4/5 flying bicycles that surely were not ridden by any proper witch

The Secret Service of Tea and Treason (Book #3) by India Holton

Synopsis: If you looked at Alice Dearlove, you’d never guess that she was anything more than a ladies maid. But really, she’s much better known as Agent A, one of the most formidable agents of the Agency of Undercover Notetakers (aka AUNT) that acts as a shadow government in the UK. However, her newest assignment might just kill her. She has been tasked with infiltrating a pirate party (rumored to be attended by Cecilia Bassingthwaite and Charlotte Pettifer) in order to find and steal a mysterious powerful weapon before it can be used to kill the Queen. That’s actually the easy part; the hard part is that she’ll have to go undercover as the wife of Agent B, better known as Daniel Bixby (who until recently, was on assignment as Alex O’Riley’s butler), and AUNT’s other most formidable agent. What will kill her first: the murderous pirates, their endless social quirks, or the enchanted spy gadgets created by a hapless AUNT engineer?

My thoughts: I recently learned that the author (India Holton) is autistic, and apparently writes a lot of her characters to also be autistic, which would explain a lot. Readers will know that I minored in psych during my undergrad without ever taking a clinical, abnormal, or social psych course, so I am fully qualified to make the following assessments: Alice is definitely autistic, Bixby might be autistic, and I think that Cecilia and Charlotte are probably also on the spectrum, although I don’t think that Ned or Alex are. Again, this book was not as good as the first, and did have some flaws, but I still found it to be enjoyable. I typically hate the fake dating trope because the situations that cause it are usually so convoluted and unrealistic, but “spies going undercover” is one of the more believable takes (although this DOES NOT excuse the scene where the pirate dared Alice and Bixby to kiss because they were married! that was atrocious). I think that my favorite part was actually the epilogue, because it showed that all three female protagonists had escaped the organizations that were oppressing them, and lived a free life of quiet (but also exciting) contentment.

Rating: 4/5 copies of your favorite book: a pocket dictionary

Hearts on Hold by Charish Reid

Synopsis: Dr Victoria Reese is an English professor at Pembroke University, a small college in Farmingdale, Illinois. Pembroke desperately needs to increase it's enrollment, so faculty have been asked to submit proposals for the so-called “four-week initiative.” Victoria wants to set up an internship with the Farmingdale Public Library, but her department head thinks its a terrible idea. To prove him wrong, she teams up with Children's Librarian John Donovan, in order to get library support for her project. But when Victoria and John meet, it's clear that they have insane chemistry. How will level-headed, stait-laced Victoria deal with a chance at real happiness, if she can't ever take risks?

My thoughts: I have a LOT of thoughts about this book. To start, the romance scenes are not very good; it's all stuff that sounds like it would be good in theory, but was NOT good when it played out in the books. Victoria also initiated their physical relationship by creating a strict schedule of physical encounters that they would participate in. She literally called it a “sordid affair”. Only afterwards did they start dating and actually build a relationship together. Why tf would they do it backwards like that, instead of building up to a relationship more naturally? It felt so forced. The other huge issue I have is with how John acts as a librarian. When Victoria first emails him her project proposal, almost immediately he starts teasing her about an overdue book she has (because it's a romance book). This is super unprofessional, and practically sexual harassment (because they hadn't even met at this point). At the end of the book, he waives her overdue fines because he loves her (and puts an official note in her account saying as much). This is also SO unprofessional! It's unethical to give people special treatment like that! Plus, most libraries are moving towards a fine-free model, so she shouldn't have even been charged any late fees in the first place! Also, the work that the student interns would have been doing (shelving books) would not have been that informative, and they definitely didn't deserve the title of Student Librarians. They should have been employed in programming or readers advisory in order to actually get the benefits that Victoria was trying to create. Surprisingly, I think the protrayal of academia was reasonably accurate (haters will say it's the Gel-Man Effect, but the author's husband is a professor, so I think she just has a better source). It depicted Pembroke as an elitest boys club dominated by white men, and has Victoria (a Black female assistant professor) really struggling to succeed. But she was able to succeed professionally through-out the book. John's family life was also interesting; I liked the dynamic of his mom and step mom being best friends, and I liked that he stepped up to care for his niece while his step sister was away with work. However, I don't think that John's struggle with ADD (isn't it supposed to be ADHD now??) was very compelling, or well done. Victoria's conflict with her controlling mother was also mostly just depressing, and the climactic rebellion didn't really hit.

Rating: ⅖ maxi dresses that your mom thinks are too revealing, so instead she makes you wear a dress that is so tight you have to be cut out of it after you pass out at her fancy gala, which is way more revealing

Crumbs by Danie Stirling

Synopsis: Ray is one of the strongest Seerers in her generation. However, she never sees what will be, only what already is. It sounds nice (and it got her into the Council Academy), but it’s made it hard for her to make friends when one tough will reveal their secrets to Ray. Instead, she focuses most of her efforts on her Council Internship. Her only real indulgence is the Marigold Bakery; every week she goes for a cup of the Sacred Forest Blend and a side of Romance (the baked goods at Marigold can actually imbue traits on the person who eats them). There, she catches the eye of Laurie, a part-time barista who dreams of becoming a famous musician. But Councillor’s identities are protected by memory charms; while in office, no civilians remember who they are, and they don’t remember any civilians (like HBO’s Severance). Ray will have to choose between the career she’s worked so hard for and a life with the boy she loves.

My thoughts: This is a graphic novel print of a digital Webtoon, and the vibe that most accurately describes it is “cute” (both the art style and the story itself). The author doesn’t really go into the mechanics of the magic, but I didn’t feel deprived or anything. I think the drawings are digitally done, and it’s almost giving pencils/pencil crayons in terms of texture. Ray and Laurie’s relationship, while surface level, was cute! And I’m really glad that Ray was able to make piece with her career and ended up becoming a Councillor. The only thing that I wish had been expanded more upon was the memory charms; it wasn’t really clear what Ray could or could not remember from her internship. My favourite characters were Stella and Wobbles! They were the magic spirits that resided in Ray’s and Laurie’s phones respectively (kind of like a Siri/Alexa but way cuter).

Rating: 3/5 eponymous songs that you wrote for your girlfriend as a thanks for her teaching you how to fly your broomstick

The McMasters’ Guide to Homicide Volume 1: Murder Your Employer by Rupert Holmes

Synopsis: Cliff Iverson thought that he had planned the perfect murder. Turns out, he didn’t even manage to kill his target, and he was caught by police immediately after the fact. But they weren’t just any police; they were recruiters for the McMasters School, a highly secretive and exclusive private college that teaches their pupils one thing: how to commit the perfect murder. The book serves as the first ever McMasters’ textbook released for wide publication (in order to meet the needs of students who can’t afford the lofty tuition or aren’t blessed enough to have a benefactor that funds them), so in order to maintain the privacy it focuses solely on students who attended in the 1950s. It includes journal entries from Cliff Iverson, and also follows his classmates Dulcie Mowan (aka Doria Maye) and Gemma Lindley, as they attend classes, hone their craft, and eventually attempt to complete their final theses: murdering their employers.

My thoughts: It turns out that the author Ruport Holmes is the same guy as the singer Rupert Holmes, best known for his hit song Escape (The Pina Colada Song). A true cinematic crossover event. Readers will know that I am a golden age girlie, so I thought that setting the events of the book in the 50s was very charming. Plus it was full of the dry wit that I have been absolutely fiending for as of late. Although I think making it extra realistic by making Cliff’s storylines way more interesting than either of his female classmates was a bit too far. The account of everyone’s classes was interesting, but the best part was definitely when everyone went back into the real world to apply their education in order to actually commit their murders. The amount of intricate planning and set up required for Cliff and Dulcie’s plans was giving heist movie in the best way. (Unfortunately Gemma kept taking L after L, and her plan was never very good. Honestly I don’t think she even deserved the faculty position that she eventually got at the end).

Rating: 4/5 women who managed to evade all overtures like a theater-goer who loves Hammerstein but hates Rodgers

Summer Knight (Dresden Files #4) by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: Several months after the events of Grave Peril, Harry Dresden is still wracked with guilt over not preventing his ex-girlfriend Susan Rodrigues from being turned into a vampire (or a half-vampire? It’s unclear). Now that the Red Court of the Vampires has declared war on the White Council of Wizards, Chicago has been very violent and not very lucrative for Harry’s private detective business (he’s almost out of money). His only friend left is Billy, a college student who leads a band of werewolves known as the Alphas (who previously allied with Harry during the events of Fool Moon). Additionally, the White Council intends to execute him for his part in starting said war. Thankfully, he finally has a client at the office. Unfortunately, that client is actually Mab, the Winter Queen of the Faeries. Through an elaborate system of debt transfers and general trickery (a la the 2008 mortgage crisis), Harry now owes her three favors. Immediately, she cashes in the first: Harry must solve the murder of Ronald Reuel, the Summer Knight, and find his mantle, the source of his power, which has disappeared and dangerously upset the balance between Winter and Summer. If Harry can’t figure out what happened by the Summer Solstice, the Faerie Courts will be forced into a war that nobody wants. And if that’s not enough, Harry’s ex-girlfriend Elanie (who was missing and presumed dead) has suddenly reappeared. She’s been tasked by Summer to solve the exact same murder, and will surely be killed if they can’t figure it out.

My thoughts: I am not an Elaine stan (nor a Susan stan, but that’s besides the point), and I really hate that Jim Butcher specified that she and Harry were adopted siblings that became lovers while living with their adopted father. Why couldn’t they just have been wards, or apprentices, or mentees? The thing that got me through the gratuitous violence and battle scenes was the intrigue about how the White Council would finally resolve things. And then Jim Butcher had the absolute nerve to completely skip over that part and end with a touching scene about Harry’s friendship with the Alphas. I literally thought that the book had glitched and there were some chapters that I was missing, but apparently not.

Rating: 3/5 armies of 2-inch tall pixies armed with the sharpest box cutters other people’s money can buy

And finally,

The Bracelet of the Month

... will be posted on the cafe.

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

This month I finished 5 ebooks and 2 books from the Toronto Public Library, totaling to 7 books. For me, this is not a lot. However, there were (a whopping) 5 additional books that I didn't end up finishing. I wasn't planning on sharing this for fear that it would reflect badly on me, but I have some of the best readers in the whole Printhouse. You guys deserve an honest and unflinching review, and you deserve to know that I, too, am imperfect. I don't always pick the best books, and I don't always have the motivation to finish them. So if that sounds like you, know that I am your fellow sister-in-arms. And if you (yes, YOU) want to become a reader, you are going to have to learn how to read imperfectly. After all, we only get one life on this earth. And while it's not too short to read a bad book every once in a while, it is too short to finish bad books out of a mistaken obligation to perfection. So without further ado, I humbly present:

Dishonorable Mentions

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune

Synopsis: Wallace Price is a high-powered lawyer at his firm, and he doesn't have time for any shenanigans. But that's too bad, because Wallace Price is dead. Wallace must come to terms with his own life and mortality, and figure out how to cross over to the other side.

My thoughts: Unfortunately I just couldn't get into this book. I would say that it's still in the style of TJ Klune, but it just wasn't as captivating as The House in the Cerulean Sea (a record two-time Printhouse-award winner). I even got an audiobook copy to accompany the print copy, but I just wasn't that interested, and I had to return it. If I get the chance to read it again while in a more introspective headspace, I might be able to finish the whole thing, and I will probably even enjoy myself.

You may like this book if: you're craving gentle discussions about life, death, and mortality.

The Marlow Murder Club by Robert Thorogood

Synopsis: Judith's neighbour Stefan was recently shot dead, and she heard it while skinny dipping in the river. But the local police think it was an accident, or even a suicide! The 77-year-old crossword puzzle writer is determined to prove them wrong and solve Stefan's murder.

My thoughts: The Thursday Murder Club had ruined me for other books about old people solving murders. I thought that this would be more of the same but the writing was making me cringe so bad I could barely tolerate it, so I decided to quit, even if it meant exposing myself in this roundup. The writing style wasn't even particularly bad, but it just felt amature-ish, and it wasn't even dry or witty, so what was even the point in continuing. (Opening with an extended scene of the protagonist parading around nude except for a cape definitely didn't help endear it to me).

You may like this book if: You like the concept of old people solving murders but don't care much about the execution.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

Synopsis: This book chronicles the history of different humanoid species on Earth, ranging from Neadrethal to Homo Sapiens.

My thoughts: My neighbor thinks that this is one of the best books ever written, so I figured I should try it so that I can talk to him about it. Alas, I got sidetracked with other stuff, so I only made it one chapter in. If I had the time to focus on it, I would probably finish it (even though it’s non-fiction, so of course it’s a bit dry).

You may like this book if: You are my neighbor.

August: Osage County by Tracy Letts

Synopsis: This is a play that won the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It’s about the family of Beverly (patriarch) and Violet (matriarch) Weston, who live in Oklahoma.

My thoughts: I wanted to branch out and read a play, but I literally cringed when I opened the first two pages. It was immediately so dense and dour that I closed it and immediately checked out a more enjoyable ebook instead. (Readers will know that in the first week of August I was in Vacation Mode ™ at one Mackerel Cove, and there was no way I was going to suffer through some pretentious slog instead of just enjoying myself).

You may like this book if: you enjoy the nuances of tortured families or whatever

The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid

Synopsis: Evike is an outcast in her pagan village deep in the forests; she’s the only one without any magic powers, and the other girls hate her. So when the Holy Order of Woodsmen come to claim a blood sacrifice, Evike’s fellow villagers betray her, and surrender her as the sacrifice. In order to survive, Evike must team up with the local captain of the holy order.

My thoughts: Sometimes if there are too many made-up words or names in a fantasy book I immediately lose interest. Yes, there needs to be world building in order to understand what was going on, but the barrier to entry here was a bit too high. (Is this my best trait? No. So I’ll try to work a bit harder on it, but if this list of DNFs tells you anything, life is too short to read a book that you don’t want to).

You may like this book if: you actually like fantasy and aren’t just a fake fan like me.

And now...

The Real Reviews

The Thursday Murder Club Series

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman

Synopsis: After successfully solving two recent murders, things have been quiet for the Thursday Murder Club. That is, until Elizabeth receives a letter from a dead man (who’s murder she covered up as part of her work with MI6). Obviously, he didn’t send any letters, although the truth is much less intriguing. It turns out that Elizabeth’s ex-husband Douglas (also an MI6 agent) has moved into Coopers Chase for a period of forced retirement. While on a recent mission, Douglas “accidentally” stole a bag of diamonds worth £20 million from Martin Lomax, who runs an informal bank for global criminal activity. The diamonds in question actually belonged to the Italian American mafia, and if they aren’t returned, they will kill Martin. This has given Martin tremendous reason to kill Douglas, who is now appealing to the Thursday Murder Club for help. Unfortunately, Douglas is killed soon after, and the diamonds remain missing. Elsewhere in Kent, Chris and Donna (both full time police officers but part time TMC members) are trying to capture notorious local drug dealer Connie Johnson, who is no criminal mastermind, but has thwarted and threatened them at every turn. But most horrifyingly, Ibrahim has been critically injured. While out for a walk, he was brutally attacked by a gang of bored local youths. The Thursday Murder Club has their work cut out for them: avenge Ibrahim’s attack, solve Douglas’s murder, locate the diamonds, and prevent an international mafia-fueled incident.

Rating: 5/5 letters with smugly encoded messages that are not helpful for revealing the location of the diamonds

The Bullet that Missed by Richard Osman

Synopsis: After more of their recent adventures, the Thursday Murder Club has decided to go back to what they were originally founded to do: investigate cold cases. This time, they’ve started looking into the suspicious death of Bethany Waites 10 years ago. Bethany was a journalist who was investigating a money laundering scheme, and had just made a big discovery when police discovered her car pushed off a cliff and her body swept out to sea. Okay, maybe Joyce chose this case specifically because there was a chance she could meet Mike Waghorn, a handsome newscaster that worked with Bethany. But it’s still an interesting case, and Connie Johnson has even agreed to make contact with Heather Garbutt, who is in the same prison as her (according to Ibrahim, it’s NOT because Connie wants to help out any friends of Ron or Bogdan (who betrayed her in the last book), but mostly because despite all of her smuggling and bribing operations, prison is still boring). But after Heather is killed in prison, this cold case suddenly warms right up.

Rating: 5/5 facetime calls with your murder solving consultant (your best friend’s grandson Kendrick)

My overall thoughts: I read the first book in the series last month, and these sequels were everything I could have wished for. There was absolutely no dip in quality, which is definitely a risk for a lot of series. Osman’s trademark wry writing style, which was my favourite thing, was exactly like I remembered it. The characters, which were my second favourite thing, were developed even further. Some of the character arcs I adored in no particular order: Ibrahim’s recovery (both physical and mental); Donna’s realization that she needs to stop living and start thriving; Ron doing the absolute most for Ibrahim (and the introduction of his grandson Kendrick); Bogdan as a full-fledged TMC ally and not just an underling, plus his friendship with Elizabeth’s current husband Stephen; and Chris’s journey of self improvement when he starts dating Donna’s mother Patrice. (I need to clarify that Patrice and Chris are the same age; and while Donna and Chris have a sort of buddy cop relationship, officially they are mentor and mentee). On a more somber note, Stephen’s journey through dementia is very powerful and heart-wrenching, especially in the third book. Honestly I could talk about this book series all day, I love it so much. The fourth book (The Last Devil to Die) will be released in September, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

Everyone in My Family has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

Synopsis: Everyone in Ernest Cunningham's family has killed someone. Some were accidents and some were incidents, but only one of them ever went to jail for it: Ernest's brother Michael. And only one Cunningham has ever testified against another: that was Ernest himself. After several years in prison, Michael is finally being released, and what better way to celebrate than with a Cunningham family reunion at an Australian Ski Resort. But when bodies start turning up, it’s clear that there are still some family secrets that are waiting to be resolved.

My thoughts: I liked how this book was structured: each section was named after one of the Cunninghams, and told the story of how they had killed someone, but the book very much took place in the present. There were very few alternate timelines; Ernest narrated his perspective/memory of each of the killings, and everything was tied in very well with the story. Ernest himself did a lot of 4th-wall-breaking (he promised to be a very reliable narrator, and he was! He actually listed out the specific pages (or in the ebook version, the specific chapters) when bodies are found, secrets are revealed, etc and I thought it was pretty charming. I also have enough impulse control to not immediately flip to those pages and spoil myself, so your mileage may vary).

Rating: 4/5 Black Tongues (is that a disease? a serial killer? it’s hard to tell).

Secret Lives by Mark de Castrique

Synopsis: Ethel Crestwater is something of an FBI legend. Daughter of a prominent agent, she eventually rose through the ranks and solved her own father's murder. Now retired, she rents rooms to local FBI and Secret Service agents. But when one of her boarders (Jonathan) was found shot dead on her front lawn, Ethep recruits Jesse (her double first cousin twice removed, and also a boarder) to help her solve Jonathan's murder, and uncover a scheme involving cryptocurrency, counterfeit money, and multiple departments of federal agents.

My thoughts: This was better than the Marlow Murder Club, but it honestly wasn't that good, and I really should have given up on it. The book talked a LOT about crypto, but all of the descriptions felt really vague, as if the author didn’t know all that much about it. Jonathan’s son Davy also had a chronic disease that I thought was really poorly portrayed. He had Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) which is a brittle bone disease, but Davy was described as if he had some sort of mental disorder as well? It was giving autism/savantism, neither of which are related to OI, but the author seemed to imply that the trauma of having a severe chronic illness had induced this in Davy? Like what the actual heck is going on. The main character Ethel was fine, but the overall writing style was not anything to write home about.

Rating: 2/5 RBG workout routines that might just be a cover for spying

Buffy: The Next Generation Series by Kendare Blake

Warning: this is an abridged version of my upcoming Vampire Theory Night presentation! If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip past the next two entries! If not, you have been warned!

Preamble: 16 years after the end of Buffy Season 7, the next generation of slayers (and scoobies) has been born. This apparently doesn’t take place in the same universe as the comic books (which are apparently the canon continuation of the show), so I guess it takes place in its own timeline. If you’re familiar with the Buffy-verse, there are some returning main characters (Willow, Oz, Spike, plus a bit of Xander and Dawn ((so you can kind of tell who the author’s favorite characters are)), plus a bunch of minor characters that were briefly mentioned in the show have been expanded on. I do like the new OCs that have been introduced, and maybe I’m just not enough of a Buffy-phile but I don’t feel like I’m lacking content for any of the OG Scoobies, which is a good balance to draw.

In Every Generation (Book #1) by Kendare Blake

Synopsis: In every generation, a slayer is born. After a magical bomb goes off at this year’s annual Slayerfest, Buffy Summers and the rest of the active slayers are missing and presumed dead. So, it’s time for a new slayer: enter, Frankie Rosenberg. Stanch eco-warrior and daughter of Willow (Frankie’s other parent is the spirit of the first ever slayer, Sineya, and was conceived when WIllow channeled Sineya’s spirit while performing a spell in season 7 that awakened all of the potential slayers), Frankie is the first ever hybrid witch slayer. Her best friend is Jake Osbourne, werewolf and nephew of Oz. Rounding out the Scooby gang is Hailey Larsson, the younger sister of Vi Larsson, a potential that went missing during the Slayerfest Massacre. Spike is now Frankie’s watcher, and in a nice nod to the original series, has taken up Giles’ post as the school librarian at New Sunnydale High. Will the old and new Scoobies be up to the task of protecting New Sunnydale?

Rating: 3/5 fairy tales that you read to your best friend when he was stuck in his werewolf cage during the full moon (but swapped so that the wolf always wins).

One Girl In All the World (Book #2) by Kendare Blake

Synopsis: The Sunnydale Hellmouth is a lot busier than usual. It seems like the Scoobies are constantly fighting monsters (which, yes, that is the whole deal for a slayer, but it's really busy). And after Vi’s shocking reappearance at the end of the last book, it’s clear that whatever happened at the Slayerfest Massacre was a lot more than meets the eye. If Vi survived, then it’s possible that Buffy did too. The Scoobies redouble their efforts on trying to locate the missing slayers, and wrestle with the fact that Vi knows a lot more than she's letting on.

Rating: ⅘ slayer-demon-slayer love triangles (allegedly something that never happens in the OG Buffy-verse

My overall thoughts: This book very much felt like it was the first half of a season of television. We got an introduction to all of the characters and the new world order, there was a monster of the week, and it built up to a mid-season finale. And it definitely did feel like a Buffy-style piece of media (especially when Frankie started dating a demon who claimed that he was really there to help her). However, it felt like the author got this opportunity to make some Buffy-style media and didn’t really know what to do with the opportunity, so it didn’t really go anywhere. I thought that the second book was a lot more developed. It focused more on the overarching plot of the “season” (what really happened at the Slayerfest Massacre), and it definitely benefited from having some of Vi’s POVs to explain what was going on and create some dramatic irony. I found the story more interesting, and liked how the wider cast of characters was getting developed.

Happy Place by Emily Henry

Synopsis: At first glance, Harriet, Cleo, and Sabrina are the most unlikely group of college roommates ever. Sabrina is a New York trust-fund girl. Cleo is a bohemian artist with a love for urban farming. And Harriet is just Harriet; she grew up in southern Indiana with parents who worked two jobs and didn’t really love each other, so she’s been grinding to become a doctor for as long as she can remember. Her residency in San Francisco is extremely difficult, and the one bright spot is the week-long trip planned for Knott’s Harbour, Maine. Sabrina’s dad owns a vacation house there, and ever since they graduated from college, the three former roommates vacation there every summer. Eventually, they started adding in their significant others: Sabrina’s boyfriend Parth, Cleo’s girlfriend Kimmy, and Harriet’s fiance Wyn. But Harriet has a secret: she and Wyn broke up 5 months ago, and they haven’t told anyone. So during this year’s trip (the last one ever, because Sabrina’s dad is selling the house), she and Wyn will have to pretend that they’re still together so that they don’t ruin everyone’s happy place. Will they be able to do it?

My thoughts: Readers will know that I rated Book Lovers by Emily Henry a 5/5, and consider it one of the best romance novels ever written. So I was a bit worried that Happy Place wouldn’t be able to live up to my expectations. Just as I feared, it wasn’t as good as Book Lovers, but it was honestly still good all the same. The part that I was most worried about was Wyn and Harriet’s relationship, because I refuse to be here for any toxic behaviour, but the nice thing about the book largely taking place post-breakup was that most of the “toxic” stuff already happened. Instead, it was more of a retrospective on how their relationship fell apart, and Harriet considering what she wanted her future to look like. I also normally hate the fake-dating trope (mostly because the situation that sets it up is always insanely unrealistic), but Harriet and Wyn had a compelling story and a lot of great chemistry. I also liked how the B-plot revolved around the friendship between Sabrina, Cleo, and Harriet. Finally, I really liked how the author framed different timelines as either being in the Happy Place or the Unhappy Place, especially because the feeling of Happiness was tied to people and experiences way more than it was ever tied to physical place. I know I’m not rating it a 5/5, but I would definitely recommend this book.

Rating: 4/5 secret pottery classes that your best friend planned for you, because she’s your best friend and she knows you that well

And finally...

The Bonus Bracelet of the Month

... will be available on the cafe.

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa

July

This month I read: 6 ebooks and 1 e-audio book from the Toronto Public Library, 2 books from the Kingston Frontenac Public Library, and 1 book purchased (not by me) from Books on Main in Bath, Ontario, totaling to 10 books.

Major spoilers ahead!

A Dreadful Splendor by B. R. Meyers

Synopsis: Genevieve Timmons knows that ghosts don’t really exist, but you would never catch her admitting it. Trained as her mother’s apprentice, and forced to take over after her tragic death, Jenny is a spiritualist that fakes seances in order to make a meager living, and also comfort the grieving. But at her last séance, she was caught stealing silver candlesticks from her clients, and sent to jail. She’s wanted for murder, and she will hang unless someone intervenes. Fortunately, someone did: old Mr Lockhart, a lawyer, will get the charges against her dropped if she performs a séance for him at Somerset Park. Mr Lockhart doesn’t care that she’s a fraud; he actually prefers it. He needs Jenny to convince Mr Pemberton, Lord Chadwick, that his recently deceased bride Audra is at peace in the great beyond, so that Pemberton will stop obsessing over her apparent suicide. With no choice, Jenny is forced to accept the deal. But when she gets to Somerset Park, Pemberton gives her a counteroffer: perform a fake séance that will force Audra’s true killer to confess their guilt. Caught between two offers, Jenny will have to navigate the unfamiliar (and somewhat haunted) estate in order to survive to her 19th birthday.

My thoughts: This book was pretty good, but there was a lot of freaky stuff going on that was very convoluted, so much so that I thought many things were dream sequences instead of happening in real life. This was compounded by the amount of ghost stories, spooky legends, and general paranormal behaviors that were happening at Somerset Park. I did like that the you weren’t really sure if the reveal was going to be caused by a real supernatural phenomenon or just a person, because it kept you guessing. However, I wasn't super interested in the plot around Jenny's mom's death, and felt like it was a bit of a letdown.

Rating: 3/5 village girls who looked a lot like the lady of the estate and died under mysterious circumstances

Just My Type by Falon Ballard

Synopsis: Lana Parker has been writing the relationship column at the trendy LA website “Always Take Fountain” for 8 years. What she really wants is a chance to write about pop culture for an established newspaper. What she really doesn’t want is to see her high school ex-boyfriend ever again, considering that she’s still not over him 12 years later. Unfortunately, both of those are about to come true. Seth Carson, said ex-boyfriend, has just arrived in LA, and wants to settle down after travel writing for 6 years. He gets hired by the LA Chronicle just as they acquire ATF, meaning that he and Lana will be working in the same office. But they won’t just be co-workers; their boss Natasha had decided to start a friendly competition in order to increase engagement at ATF and ultimately impress the Chronicle. Lana, a serial monogamist, will have to be single for twelve weeks so that she can learn how to be alone. Seth, a chronic fuckboy, will have to start putting down roots and become “boyfriend materials.” To accomplish their goals, Lana and Seth will have to assign each other tasks to complete, and blog about their respective journeys for ATF. Whoever’s columns get the most engagement will win a columnist spot at the Chronicle. Surely nothing will go wrong?

My thoughts: I binge-read this book in two parts, and the first half made me want to stop reading. Lana was so full of anger and jealousy about Seth, and it made her seem unhinged when compared to his totally normal behavior. She constantly alludes to a recent incident where Seth publicly humiliated her, but the truth is that she propositioned him while drunk and dating someone else, and he rightfully turned her down. So Seth was completely in the right. However, I enjoyed the second half of the book a lot more. Lana and Seth had more chemistry instead of anger, and Lana had some good introspection about her mommy issues and how they’ve interfered with her career (she’s such a people pleaser that she’s stayed in a dead-end job to appease her boss). I also had huge issues with Natasha (the boss); even though you work for an LA lifestyle magazine, you still can’t force your employees to do anything sex- or relationship-related (eg. have a one-night stand, kiss a stranger, stay single, or be abstinent, enter a long-term relationship, etc) just to drive clicks to your website. The entire relationship-blogging situation gave me the icks, and I don’t even think my description did it justice. In the end, I’m glad that Lana and Seth mutually agreed that the real enemy was each other, but was in fact capitalism. I’m also happy that Seth and Lana finally got together (after a LOT of bad communication, ugh) because they’re very cute and happy, but I didn’t like that Seth easily achieved his goal of setting down into a long-term relationship while Lana technically learned how to be alone, but still ended up in that long-term relationship. I wish that Lana had spent more time working on herself. Her big goal was learning how to be alone, but the only things she actually did by herself were take a solo vacation and go to therapy. She did a lot of other “single” stuff, but Natasha constantly made her do that stuff together with Seth, so that it would be more insta-worthy. Instead, I think that her goal should have been to develop a stronger sense of self, and work on her mommy issues. This would help her not get swept up into long-term relationships just because her boyfriends had wonderful families, and be less of a people pleaser. She also could have spent more time “on screen” developing her blog, and branching out into other hobbies, interests, and friend groups, instead of doing it all “off screen” during the epilogue.

Rating: 3/5 “Feminist Bitch” necklaces that you can’t wear out to the club if you’re trying to hook up with a stranger

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

Synopsis: The thesis of this book is that despite what many may think, women are not just smaller men. However, because so much data collected world-wide is not sex-desegregated, (sometimes doesn’t even consider women at all), it makes it so much harder for society to realize the harms of their actions. Women have unique needs, responsibilities, values, and physiology that makes them unique. A world that positions men as the default and women as abnormal is at best, harmful to women, and at worst, harmful to society as a whole. The author covers a wide range of examples, from all-male crash test dummies in cars, to snow-clearing and transit priorities; from all-male venture capitalists to female politicians. There are even more examples that I don’t have room to mention here (voice-recognition software, piano sizes, urban planning, tax credits, etc, etc).

My thoughts: I’ll be honest: reading this book as a woman about to enter the workforce was frankly depressing. But I’ve had this book on my TBR list for a long time, and I’m so glad that I finally read it. It has so much information, and I highly recommend that everyone read it. I presented this at a July Book Club meeting when I had read about 80% of the book, but I low key wish I had saved it for next Theory Night, because there was a lot of critical stuff in the final 20% that would have supported my arguments. One thing that has really stuck with me is the idea that designs should cater to their population, and designers should never expect it to be the other way around. For some companies I’m sure it’s a pretty radical idea, but definitely a necessary one, and it applies equally to basically all marginalized groups, and not just women. I’ve actually brought it up in multiple job interviews, and the committees all seem to like it, so I guess not all hope is lost. To reiterate: if you only ever read one book from any of my reading roundups, please let it be this one.

Rating: 5/5 drugs that never made it to clinical trials because they were only ever tested on male mice

Grave Peril (Dresden Files #3) by Jim Butcher

Synopsis: Harry Dresden has been very busy lately. He and Michael Carpenter, a knight of the cross, have been rushing all around Chicago to battle tormented ghosts that have crossed over from the Never-Never to wreak havoc on the real world. But ghosts aren’t the only thing being tormented; a retired cop was attacked with the same barbed-wire spell that has been tormenting the ghosts. If Harry doesn’t take care of himself, he could be at risk. Across town at his office, a young woman named Lydia pleads for Harry’s help; she’s afflicted with Casandra’s Tears, a curse that brings her visions of the future that no one ever takes seriously. Lydia believes she will be attacked by ghosts, and Harry reluctantly hands over his only talisman to protect her. Finally, back at home, Harry receives an invitation to a masquerade at Bianca St Claire’s mansion. Bianca is a vampire, and is celebrating her recent ascension to Baroness of the Red Court. As the only local member of the White Council of Wizards, Harry will have to attend if he doesn’t want to cause a major faux pas. Worryingly, his girlfriend Susan Rodriguez, a journalist at the Midwestern Arcane (a newspaper that covers supernatural events), is determined to be his plus one so that she can get the scoop from hundreds of living vampires, and Harry can’t seem to convince her that it’s a horrible idea.

My thoughts: This audio book had an introduction from Jim Butcher himself, where he shared that this book is widely considered to really kick off the series, and that it’s the best yet out of the first three books, but I have to disagree (especially since the major war starts really kicks off in the next book, not this one). This book was kind of all over the place, and it felt like the ghost storylines and the vampire storylines didn’t really match up with each other. It was almost like there were too many different pieces that had to come together. For example, Lydia’s storyline was one of the first introduced in the book, but she was only in a few scenes after that, and didn’t really matter to the overall story. Perhaps the author could have merged Lydia and Justine’s characters into one person. I did like that this book had more of Michael and his Christian sensibilities (no taking the Lord’s name in vain, no adultery without love, etc), but didn’t love that there was less of Karrin (although she still hasn’t gotten to her prime working relationship with Harry, so I guess I’ll have to wait for that). I also don’t care much for Susan and Harry’s relationship (she deserves better than him), so I’m glad that it seems to be over for now.

Rating: 3/5 custom tombstones that were made specifically for you as a gift and definitely not as a veiled threat

Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice

Synopsis: Evan Whitesky is a member of an Anishinaabe First Nation in Northern Ontario. This far north is not his family’s ancestral home (that was taken when the colonizers kicked them out), but together with his wife Nicole, son Maiingan and daughter Nangohn, as well as their extended family of mishomis (grandfather), nookomis (grandmother), and many aunties, Evan is doing well. He works in maintenance at the community’s Public Works department, and recently took a few of his allotted hunting days to hunt a moose, which will keep his family supplied with meat for a long time. When he wakes up to find that the satellite TV and cell service are out, it’s not unusual; and service is often unreliable that far north. When the power goes out the next day, it’s still not much to worry about; the reserve was only recently connected to the hydro grid, and many families still have their old diesel-powered appliances. But when the power is still off a week later, the community begins to worry. A few days later, two teens who left the rez to attend college in Gibson (a small town about 300km southwest) arrive on snowmobiles. It was a perilous journey, and they arrive with bad news: power and cell service are out in the South, too. Whatever is going on, it seems like the whole province, if not the whole country, is affected. And it means that no help is coming to the community; they are completely on their own.

My thoughts: I thought that this was a really unique twist on the typical apocalypse genre by having it center around a First Nations Reservation. It was really interesting to see the dynamic of the North vs the South (Readers will know that I’m a dirty Torontonian who stays almost exclusively in Southern Ontario). It was also really eye opening about how a lot of the members of the community still felt really disconnected from their Indigenous heritage and customs (eg. hunting and living off the land). I also liked that they never revealed what what causing the apocalypse, because for all intents and purposes, it didn’t really matter. They were completely on their own, and aliens vs virus vs tsunami isn’t really going to change that. My only complaint was that I found the pacing to be a bit off; the climax happened, and then it jumped right to an epilogue two years later. But it’s a pretty short and easy read, so if you’re looking to read more Indigenous books, I would recommend it.

Rating: 3/5 nightmares that weren’t really prophetic but did kinda come true all the same

Small Town, Big Magic by Hazel Beck

Synopsis: Emerson Wilde is named for her ancestor Sarah Emerson Wilde, a women who was executed in the Salem Witch Trials hundreds of years ago. But the similarities stop there; Emerson isn’t a witch. Magic isn’t even a real thing. Emerson is content with her life in St Cyprian, Missouri, where she owns a bookstore, has a great group of friends, and is the youngest Chamber of Commerce President in St Cyprian history. Okay, yes, her sister Rebekah left home (some would say fled) years ago and has never come back to visit, but she always had a rebellious streak, and yes, St Cyprian Mayor Skip Simon hates her guts, but all those times she embarrassed him were really just harmless accidents. But when Skip threatens her beloved redbud trees and lures Emerson out to the cemetery, where she is almost killed by a swarm of monsters with red eyes, Emerson can’t afford to ignore things any longer. Her friends are forced to reveal the truth: magic is real, and they are all witches. Worst of all: Emerson used to be one too, until she failed her witch exam and the Joywood Coven (ruling body of witches) wiped her memory. Normally, betraying the Joywood would mean banishment or death for her friends, but they have bigger problems to deal with: the balance of magic has been disrupted, and a flood is coming. Will Emerson be able to take back her powers, and save the town, all while hiding her secret from the Joywood?

My thoughts: I really, really wanted to like this book. If I lived in the greater St Louis, Missouri, metropolitan area, you bet your bottom dollar I’d be out to St Cyprian all the time (I can’t stay away from a charming small town that is constantly hosting local festivals). And the only thing I like more than a small town is a magical small town (although St Cyprian loses points for its unclear magical governing structure. Are we to believe that the Joywood is to St Cyprian the way that the US Congress is to Washington D.C?). But this book unfortunately had some flaws. The pacing was pretty good in the first half, but the second half felt super rushed, and the book ended at an awkward place. Emerson was a fun and strong main character, but she also annoyed me to no end. (If your friends, who know everything about magic, tell you, who knows almost nothing about magic, not to do something, then for the love of witchkind DON’T DO IT). Honestly, she was so headstrong that it kind of ruined the book for me. But the sequel is due to be released later this year, so I’ll give the series another chance if I can get my hands on it.

Rating: 3/5 chinchillas that went missing on prom night, so it’s not my fault I had to go rescue them and accidentally stood you up

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton

Synopsis: Kate Beaton is a famous Canadian illustrator, best known for her Hark, a Vagrant series. But in the mid-2000s, Katie Beaton has just graduated from Mount Allison University with a Bachelor of Arts and a mountain of student debt. The job opportunities in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, are few and far between, so if she wants to ever become debt free, she’ll have to move out to Alberta to work in the oil sands. It’s a tale as old as time, but unfortunately, it doesn’t make it any easier. This graphic novel memoir chronicles just how strange the oil sand work camps really are, and unfortunately, how dangerous they can be for women.

My thoughts: Everybody has been raving about this book all year, so when I finally got my hands on it I was eager to see what all the fuss is about. I know that Kate Beaton’s whole thing is graphic novels, but I’m not enough of a picture-cel to really get it. I’m a lot better with names than I am with faces (readers will know that I’m practically face-blind), which was painfully clear while reading this book, as I had a lot of trouble differentiating the characters. In Kate’s defense, she did have a pictorial cast of character at the start of each new section. But in my defense, white guys (especially in a cartoon black-and-white style) look really similar. It didn’t help that there were a lot of side characters that weren’t named but were still drawn, and also that characters from previous sections made appearances in future sections. I also struggled with connecting the story together in an overall narrative; it felt like some of the two page spreads were independent vignettes, but I’m not sure if that’s even true because there wasn’t anything demarcating them from other pages (besides the page turn itself). However, the content was very depressing but very good as well.

Rating: 4/5 Flair Scare Airline tickets to Fort MacMurray

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni

Synopsis: Nareh Bedrossian (a twenty-seven year old Armenian-American reporter) is pretty happy with her boyfriend (a white tech bro named Trevor). At least she thinks so. But when he proposes to her in the middle of a crowded Oktoberfest restaurant, she faints (and not from excitement). Trevor leaves for a business trip in Germany, and Nareh is left single-ish for the first time in five years. Her mother is overjoyed to hear it, and immediately forces Nareh to go to Explore Armenia (a series of cultural events hosted by the Armenia diaspora in the Bay Area) in order to land a nice Armenian husband. The boys that Nareh meets are okay, but the true standout is Erebuni: an irresistible blend of Wiccan, Armenian, and artsy girlboss. The trouble is, Nareh isn’t out, and her extended family aren’t the most accepting. How will Nareh navigate new and old relationships as she embraces her true identity?

My thoughts: I was a little apprehensive about reading a sapphic romance, but this book was definitely PG-13, which I loved. It felt so authentic that I’m very surprised that the author isn’t queer herself. I thought it was a really interesting exploration of what it means to be a member of a diaspora, displaced from your ancestral lands and now carving a place for yourself in the States. There were several monologues about culture, family, and even language and dialects, but they didn’t feel out of place and they weren’t too flowery. The only issue I really had was that Erebuni was a little too perfect; I’m surprised that she took Nareh back after Nareh basically scapegoated her to the family. I am also not a big fan of the title (maybe it’s funnier in Armenian?).

Rating: 4/5 cups of soorj (Armenian coffee) with cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and cardamom

The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman

Synopsis: The best time of day at Coopers Chase retirement village is Thursday midmorning in the Jigsaw room, between Art History and Conversational French, because that’s when the Thursday Murder Club meets. The Thursday Murder Club has 4 members, who meet every week in order to go over cold cases. There’s Ron, a retired union organizer who takes advantage of any possible change to rabble-rouse. Ibrahim, a retired psychiatrist that is obsessed with fitness and is over all autistic-coded. Joyce, a retired nurse and a true everywoman. And Elizabeth, who never admits what she did for a living, but who “plays fast and loose with the Official Secrets Act,” and can still call in favours like nobody’s business. So when Tony Curran, a developer and part owner of Coopers Chase, is found dead in his home, the Thursday Murder Club is on the case.

My Rating: I read this as a TPL ebook, but I heard of it when I visited Books on Main in Bath, Ontario, when I examined a book that was promoted as the best thing since the Thursday Murder Club (which they had a copy of on the same table). Readers will know that I’m a big fan of Taskmaster (British panel shows), and would you imagine my surprise when I realized that this critically-acclaimed book was written by the same Richard Osman that was on Taskmaster Series 2! The book itself is so so good; I adore all of the characters and the wry tone. I especially like how Elizabeth is a girlboss manipulator, and knows absolutely everyone. I also love how she got the local police wrapped around her finger. The book also tackles a lot of issues that people face as they grow old, including dementia, health, and loss. I have already checked out the sequel and I can’t wait.

Rating: 5/5 whole salmons that you stole from Waitrose by pretending you had dementia when you don’t actually

February Thaw and Other Stories of Contemporary Fantasy by Tanya Huff

Synopsis: This is a collection of short stories, so I’ll give a quick synopsis and rating for each story, plus a few thoughts.

February Thaw: The seasons are thrown into chaos when Persephone returns to her mother Demeter 2 months early, after a fight with her husband Hades. 3/5 I liked how the gods and goddesses where characterized, but the story lacked substance.

Burning Bright: After her creator dies, a fire elemental enlists her girlfriend to help her regain a human body. 3/5

When the Student is Ready: A highschooler is mentored by a homeless (and schizo) wizard in order to develop her powers. 2/5

Jack: A music-industry themed retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk. 1/5 This is where they started getting tough to get through.

Symbols are a Percussion Instrument: After getting a tarot reading, the cards begin appearing in Cynthia’s everyday life. 1/5 This was probably the worst story. The title is nonsensical, and I hated that Cynthia was only able to understand symbolism when she was buying shoes (the most female-coded thing of all time). This story was definitely giving high-school-assignment-to-demonstrate-knowledge-of-literary-devices and I am NOT here for it.

Shing Li-Ung: Donna’s grandmother bequeaths her a dragon token on her deathbed, and Donna later discovers that the trinket is actually a real dragon. 3/5 I don't love how the author (who is white) considered the racial nuance of a Chinese (or possibly mixed-race? it was unclear) family in Canada. Yes, authors should push themselves to write about things outside of their own lived experience, but I don't think there was enough room for her to unpack everything in a short story

The Midsummer Night’s Dream Team: A CBC camerawoman discovers members of Oberon's fairy court competing in the 1996 Summer Olympics. 5/5 This was so surprisingly charming that I didn't even mind not understanding how the whole fairies-playing-sports thing worked

Average Rating: 2.5/5

And finally...

The Bonus Bracelet of the Month

will be posted on the cafe

i am, your most faithful blogger, elisa